Holes/Session 23

From Zaori


Apheori (GM) juggles geese.
Gaurav: I've been on since I woke up at 7:58am.
Apheori (GM): Ah, so it's lying again.
Is Frezak on too?
Ganelon: All I can say is that I don't see him.
Frezak (GM): Loading.
Someone do things.
Apheori (GM): You all are walking down some streets. It's still visually stunning or whatever, if you're into vistas and architecture and crap, and you're starting to notice more colours amidst the golden hues - shades of blue and red, and bits of green and black...
Gaurav: Wait, did we search the entire house last week?
Apheori (GM): Except for Amadi and Greibel. You two see a whole lot of other colours too, and some weird shapes of buildings that don't make much sense in terms of the other buildings. Kind of... built on top of each other.
You searched the basement and made your escape.
Terrible adventurers, I know.
Gaurav: Did the fire not attract anybody's interest? Or did we sneak out into the crowd all adventurer-y and scuttle off?
Frezak (GM): I think we heroically scuttled
Like adventurous crabs.
Bear Soup Guy: heroic tails between our heroic legs
Gaurav: We are awful. But at least we scared off the terrified woman. That has to count for something.
Apheori (GM): There was a crowd, and Dave pretended to be official-like, and the party's collective heroicness made it work.
Ellemerr: Dawn said some things to the crowd.
Gaurav: Heh. Nice.
Apheori (GM): I really should change her name here to Dawn. 'Dave' is totally inaccurate.
Bear Soup Guy: "At least we burned down that terrified woman's house and made her run away!"
Gaurav high-fives BSG
Gaurav: for ADVENTURE
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Gaurav: So is Dawn/Dave/D* leading the way again?
Ellemerr: Yes, but besides Amadi, the group is calling her Dave anyway. :P
Gaurav: I don't suppose anybody is interested in tracking down the terrified woman?
Bear Soup Guy: she made off in pretty quick order I think
Ganelon: She ran out of the place holding what I assume to have been her mother's dessicated corpse.
It's unlikely she intends to report to the authorities.
Frezak (GM): Unless casual necromancy is okay around here.
Gaurav: I'm more worried about her tracking us as ruining our world-saving biz, but mostly I just want to see what kind of stats the desiccated corpse has. I bet it's a wizard corpse.
Frezak (GM): And she could hide the corpse and claim that we're just hooligans.
Gaurav: All the suburban moms meeting up for necromancy nights
Frezak (GM): i'd rather it weren't a paralysed lich.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): "Let's have a corpse party!"
Apheori (GM): Ooo, tell me more about paralysed liches.
Bear Soup Guy: Suburban Moms. Good band name
Gaurav: I'll bring the party hats, you bring the sorcerers.
okay, so: we follow Dave?
Ellemerr: Don't ask me. I go where I'm carried.
... I am being carried, right?
Ganelon: Is she still going somewhere?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Do you follow?
Amadi: You realise you're holding a book. As well as Gravy's horns, I mean.
Frezak (GM): Amadi is currently in my inventory, yes.
Minor action: Wield Amadi.
Ellemerr: I guess I'll read a bit, then. That's what you do when suddenly holding books. I should know.
Frezak (GM): Probably counts as Heavy Thrown 3/6 (midget)
Gaurav: HA
Apheori (GM): She's not very heavy, unless you consider her pockets.
Frezak (GM): I only consider graves.
Everything else is superfluous.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: The book is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Planes. You wind up reading about dead gods and how miserable the universe clearly is.
Gaurav: As long as Gravy is also following Dave, Rhu follows the both of them.
Apheori (GM): Greibel gets cornered by a giant.
Frezak (GM): I've never heard of someone hitchiking onto a Spelljammer.
Bear Soup Guy: Suddenly giant
Frezak (GM): RANDOM ENCOUNTER
Apheori (GM): Suddenly giant. IT
Frezak (GM): USE YOUR DAILIES
Ganelon: I feel like you'd see a giant coming.
Gaurav: Maybe they're like elephants. Elephants are ridiculously quiet.
Apheori (GM): It's not actually all that giant, just ten feet tall or whatever, but it's very wide and waves its arms at Greibel insistently.
Greibel: Oh...hello
Greibel waves slightly
Giant: GLORB NORB SHORG TORK.
HORG NURG.
Giant gestures at Greibel.
Greibel: Mmm, Hork Dork Dork indeed.
You mind if I just...?
Greibel makes a squeezing by motion
Gaurav: ... you can talk to bees, but not to giants?
Apheori (GM): Dave stops and watches.
Giant: HORG!
Giant points to Greibel.
(From Ellemerr): I know all languages. Is he full of nonsense?
Giant makes eating gestures.
Greibel: Ah...that's. Um.
Gaurav: Are we still within sight of the house we accidentally ignited, or are we a couple of blocks away at this point?
Ganelon: Weapon at the ready, here.
(To Ellemerr): Giant want drugs. Giant not know how to talk properly after head wound. Greibel can help. Knowing one said so.
Greibel: There's a tavern down that road. The sandwiches are delicious.
Amadi bursts out laughing.
Apheori (GM): You're a few blocks away.
Greibel: Okay I mean, it might not be that road. I wasn't paying very close attention.
Giant: HURG LURG SNOK.
Greibel: I'm sure you'll find it though.
Giant gestures to his head, then points at Greibel again.
Greibel adopts a mock intimidating pose, like what you should do when you see a mountain lion
Gaurav: ... that might still count as an intimidate check
Greibel: BORK BORK BORK SMURG BLAH BLAH BLAH HONK
Giant: LORG DUR SNORG.
Apheori (GM): Roll it!
Greibel: Baaaaaah
Frezak (GM): I CAN ASSIST
Amadi is laughing so hard she might fall off, but Gravy will probably stop her.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: Spot check?
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+2
(
14
)
+2
=
16
Apheori (GM): And others.
If you want.
Frezak (GM): I can add to your intimidate, too.
As soon as I open my sheet.
Ganelon: I'm not trained in being intimidating, shockingly.
The only people afraid of Radek are the ones who know him personally.
Apheori (GM): You're a scientist. You can awkward your way out of anything.
Why would you need intimidation?
Frezak (GM): I thought that's what he was doing.
Oh, him.
Gaurav: what about a sarcasm check? Radek has excellent sarcasm.
Frezak (GM): OKay, rolling assist.
rolling 1D20+6
(
6
)
+6
=
12
So Greibel gets +2 on that.
Perception:
rolling 1D20+10+10+2
(
20
)
+10+10+2
=
42
Gaurav: Rhu's not going to to try to intimidate a stranger. But he's definitely eyeing the giant and making it clear that things are going to get ugly if he tries anything.
Frezak (GM): I SEE ALL.
Apheori (GM): The giant backs away from Greibel, and turns to Amadi, though keeping some distance away from Gravy.
Frezak (GM): ALL IS REAVEALED
Gaurav: It's not really a giant! It's three dwarves in a suit!
Frezak (GM): MY GAZE IS ALL-ENCOMPASSING
42 would let me spot a hiding god.
Apheori (GM): Gravy notices a head wound on the giant. He's also dirty, a bit beat up, has the dregs of some ritual paint all over his body, and he smells afraid more than anything else.
And the anything else is mostly garlic.
The Gravedigger: Hey, Radek? Guy has a head-wound. Anyone know what that ritual paint means?
Apheori (GM): 42 only lets you spot as much as I can think of.
Frezak (GM): Cellular structure!
Giant: (to Amadi) HURG SHURG.
Frezak (GM): Can we roll anything on the paints?
religion?
Gaurav:
rolling 1d20+9 religion check on the ritual paint, I guess.
(
6
)
+9
=
15
(To Amadi): You have. Please help.
Amadi works very, very hard on pulling herself together, and sort of manages.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+3
(
17
)
+3
=
20
Apheori (GM): It's like grawl paint! Or something.
Frezak: Some sort of divination thing, for aid from the spirits.
Radek: So you're saying his incoherent babbling is a speech malfunction rather than an actual language.
Amadi: Greibel, just give the *giggles* give the man some wheeeeee
Amadi laughs some more.
The Gravedigger: Possibly. He's also been... petitioning spirits?
Greibel: I don't think you're supposed to use wheeeeee if you've got serious head trauma
Giant: DURG SHAL BORRG.
Greibel: Never stopped me before, but...
Rhu: Spirits, like ... *makes a drinking-from-a-bottle gesture*?
Giant gestures toward gravy and to his head.
Giant: HOLG.
Greibel: He's giving you a target, big man
The Gravedigger: Nah, not that kind;
THe kind that you talk to AFTER you've drunk.
Greibel: I can only assume he's saying "lay one on me with that spade of yours. Right in the kisser."
Apheori (GM): XD
Amadi: Close! But not quite.
Frezak (GM): I'm Primal, but I don't think I have anything to do with the spirits, generally.
Commune, gorramit!
Apheori (GM): In the meantime Dave wanders off and sits down a few meters away in a patch of dark cobbles or tiles or something.
Giant: URG HOLG SHURG GLOL MOLG.
Giant gestures again to Greibel's bag.
The Gravedigger: Yeah, were' working on it.
Amadi grins at Greibel.
Amadi: He doesn't want something from Gravy. He wants something only yooou can give him!
Bear Soup Guy: MAYBE THE DRUID SHOULD DO A HEAL CHECK
The Gravedigger: I think he wants a spliff.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+11 check his head thing if he lets me
(
9
)
+11
=
20
Frezak (GM): Or Insight?
Gaurav: Stranger things have happened.
his "head thing"?
Apheori (GM): What's a spliff?
Ganelon: Drugs.
Greibel: A cigarette with tobacco and pot in
Gaurav: spliff == joint with tobacco, I think
Bear Soup Guy: err
Frezak (GM): Of course BSG- I mean Greibel would know that.
Bear Soup Guy: OOC
=D
Apheori (GM): The giant lets you.
Gaurav: Gravy said "spliff" IC, so it makes sense Greibel would try to explain it to the giant.
Apheori (GM): It looks like a skull fracture with a bit of internal pressure, but stabilised.
You have an idea that some drugs might help, though you're not entirely sure which.
On account of him being a giant.
Bear Soup Guy: I'll try to restrain myself from just shoving a spliff right into the fracture
Apheori (GM): Heee.
Giant: SPOLG.
Frezak (GM): How giant IS this giant?
Um.
Actually.
Greibel gets out whatever contents of his bag could be construed as medicine
Frezak (GM): Gravy speaks Giant.
If that helps.
Greibel various herbs I've been carrying around as well as drugs
Greibel gestures toward the giant
Amadi: Yeah. This isn't giant.
Frezak (GM): Just smear stuff on until he gets better.
Apheori (GM): Er, sorry, that was me.
Frezak (GM): I guessed.
Apheori (GM): Selected the wrong one.
Frezak (GM): I'll ask "What's wrong?" in GIant.
JUST IN CASE
Giant: GLURG.
Giant points to his head, then grabs a random herb/drug from greibel and smears it on the wound.
Gaurav: Huh.
Frezak (GM): Hey!
Apheori (GM): Rob: It's up to you what that was.
Frezak (GM): ACONITE
Or... Fly Amanita.
Greibel: I have 40 of something called "rare herbs" and some other stuff I got called SOME USEFUL HERBS
Bear Soup Guy: bah OOC again
Frezak (GM): Those sound like the best kind of herbs.
Bear Soup Guy: They're definitely appropriately named
Gaurav: "How does Greibel organise his drugs?" is a fascinating question
Bear Soup Guy: pfff
"Organize" :P
Ellemerr: I agree.
Pfff, "organize".
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel reaches into his backpack: "This doesn't look like lint or dirt. In the pipe it goes."
Apheori (GM): Greibel is awesome.
Frezak (GM): I have no idea why we assume he has any knowledge of what he's doing.
Radek crosses his arms in a show of mock patience.
Greibel: Did that help your head there, buddy?
Apheori (GM): Okay, you know what? I don't know what it was, you don't know what it was...
The giant stands there for a bit, then says 'GLURN?' and falls over with a loud thud.
Frezak (GM): PROPER JOB
Bear Soup Guy: A+ scores, all around
Radek: Fantastic work, medicine man.
Gaurav: So far today we've killed an old lady, burned down a house, rescued a raccoon named Badger and killed a giant.
The Gravedigger: Well, he's not complaining anymore.
Sounds like success.
Gaurav: ^
Greibel: Sleep, uh...is the best thing for head trauma.
Ellemerr: This is the best day.
Frezak (GM): We're super helpful.
Rhu steps up the giant and checks its pulse.
Frezak (GM): SO should we check his pockets?
No, check his PURSE
Gaurav: Guys watch me roll a 1 and finish him off
Frezak (GM): PURRRRSE
Apheori (GM): Rhu: There's a steady pulse. Slow, but steady.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 heal check
(
18
)
+12
=
30
Apheori (GM): It's also...
Hmm.
Bear Soup Guy: A hospital bed and IV pop out of the ether
Apheori (GM): Now I need to come up with someting, curse you.
Frezak (GM): HIS BLOOD IS IGUANAS
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu reviews the writings on a clipboard
Gaurav: Apologies. I honestly thought I was just going to kill him.
Frezak (GM): What, so you INTENTED to MURDER him?
Apheori (GM): Okay, so the giant is definitely alive. Looks like whatever Greibel... well, what it stole from Greibel was some sort of sedative.
Frezak (GM): Oh, I could have done that.
Apheori (GM): You don't know if the head thing is better or not.
But it isn't worse.
Gaurav: In his head, Rhu's character sheet has the words "Heal check" scratched off and "Murder check" written above it.
Rhu: He's fine, he's just asleep. That thing you gave him must have knocked him out.
We should drop him off at the nearest inn or something. Let him sleep it off.
Apheori (GM): Also some of you may notice that Dave and the mouseforged are missing.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel will rub a bit of all of his herbs on the giant's head for good measure
Rhu: I could use some sleep too, come to think of it.
Gaurav: BSG: heee
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Some of them turn funny colours as they mix. The giant twitches a bit.
Radek: How do you intend to carry him?
Gaurav: We've got the disk the mouseforged rides when he's ... hey? Where's the Mouseforged?
Rhu: We've got the disk the mouseforged rides when he's ... hey? Where's the Mouseforged?
WHERE IS DAVE?!
Rhu panics
Amadi giggles at her book.
The Gravedigger: MR MOUSIE?
Apheori (GM): Greibel and Gravy probably noticed that Dave is just over there.
Well, maybe not Greibel.
But Gravy probably would have.
The mousie, though...
It was following Greibel.
Frezak (GM): UM.
UM.
Gaurav: I guess Rhu sees Dave "over there" also?
Apheori (GM): Rhu wasn't paying attention. Please continue panicking.
Rhu panics some more
(To Amadi): The giant fell on the mouseforged.
(From Amadi): Uh-oh.
Rhu looks around frantically, checking behind every lamppost and down every nearby alley
Frezak (GM): Same.
Though less panicky and more determined.
Greibel: Looks like somebody else is gonna need some herbs soon.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You finally find her sitting right in the middle of the next intersection with a strange charm and a skull in her lap. She seems to be talking to it. The skull, that is. It's not talking back, and this frustrates her.
Frezak (GM): Well, except I'm looking for Mr Mousie
Apheori (GM): Gravy: Do you track?
You're a tracker.
Yes?
Frezak (GM): Sure?
I... can't use Gravyvision just yet, though >.>
rolling 1D20+10
(
18
)
+10
=
28
Man, have /I/ recovered from the Booing Grounds.
Rhu: (to Dave) hey. HEY. There you are. Praise Hazz'ridan, in whom all lost things are found.
Apheori (GM): You follow the path of the mouseforged and find that it was following Greibel all along.
And then the giant fell on it.
Frezak (GM): What.
I'm going to go CDG that giant.
Dave: (To Rhu) Can he find my mind? Or... her mind.
Dave raises the skull.
Gaurav: CDG? Charles de Gaulle?
Apheori (GM): What is CDG?
Ganelon: Coup de Grace.
Frezak (GM): Coup De Grâce.
Ganelon: An execution.
Apheori (GM): Poor giant.
Frezak (GM): Well, I want to check on Mr Mousie first.
Rhu: (to Dave) In him are all endings, including the end of your search. (motions to skull) The mind of that soul, you mean? I didn't think skulls had minds.
Apheori (GM): The mouseforged is underneath. You need to get it out first.
Frezak (GM): GODS DAMN YOU
I have never rolled above... 3 on strength.
Gaurav: At least Mr. Giant got a nap out of this. He probably won't even feel it as Gravy smashes him into a pulp.
Mr ... or Mrs? Are giants sexually dimorphic?
Dave: It's here. Imprisoned. Minds are harder.
Frezak (GM): I will try and heave the giant off my precious comrade.
Apheori (GM): First time for every roll.
Frezak (GM): Athletics.
rolling 1D20+10
(
15
)
+10
=
25
Ooh
Apheori (GM): You roll the giant off the mouseforged.
Gaurav: YAY!
Apheori (GM): It seems a bit... flatter than it was.
Frezak (GM): MEDIC
The Gravedigger: RAAAAADEEEEEK
Rhu reaches out for the skull
Rhu: (to Dave) How do you mean, imprisoned?
Dave hands it to Rhu.
Dave: She's in there. I think.
Elia.
Ellia?
Radek: Graaah!
Frezak (GM): I will pick up Mousie and hold him imploringly.
Rhu: Who's Elia?
Frezak (GM): My eyes may mist.
Amadi frowns at her book.
Amadi: That can't be right...
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The skull seems to be a pretty normal skull. Jawbone is taped on.
Frezak (GM): Like a child with a dead kitten.
Radek: Do you know what I could be doing if I weren't constantly being asked to look after you idiots?
Frezak (GM): Except that I'm a giant horned dude holding up a living golem.
Radek holds up his box of holding.
Radek: This problem could be solved already!
The Gravedigger: Working on destroying the world?
Apheori (GM): Can warforged feel pain?
The Gravedigger: Possibly ununtentionally?
Apheori (GM): The living golem makes sad mousie noises.
Radek: If I wanted to destroy the world, all I would have to do now is /wait/!
Gaurav: A child with a dead kitten is the saddest thing I can imagine.
Frezak (GM): I tihnk they register damage, but I don't think it's 'pain'.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Good.
Ganelon: There's mention of this in, uh...
The thing that talks about them being able to replace parts.
Apheori (GM): You can replace human parts too.
Ganelon: They don't feel pain then, but yeah, they are aware of damage in battle as a bad thing.
Apheori (GM): Just saying.
Sorry. Thanks.
Sad mousie noises are exactly what I wanted, then.
And poor Radek. o_O
Radek: What do you want?
Apheori (GM): Amadi: The passage in the book is replaced with an important message, complete with the header 'Important Message'.
The Gravedigger: Look!
He's all... crumched!
Apheori (GM): Amadi: It says, moving forward isn't the answer. Perhaps it's time to go back.
Ganelon: Back to the future?
Amadi looks for someone to bugger with this clearly vital information.
Ganelon: Back to the island?
Dave: (to Rhu) She's the other one. Key, key, and... well, I'm not a key, but I might do.
Amadi shuffles over to Greibel and pokes the book in his face.
Amadi: Look!
Ganelon: Is the Mouseforged even damaged in a way I could fix?
If that requires a roll, just ask.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see a recipe for a drug mix.
In the book.
Greibel: Hmm? Oh hey, whatcha reading there?
Useful
Amadi: It's very important! It says so!
Apheori (GM): It's mostly just dented, and some joints mangled. Totally fixable, but it would take time.
Ganelon: Time.
Apheori (GM): Even Gravy might be able to fix it if he had all day, but he'd have to stop hugging it first.
Ganelon: MY TIME IS PRECIOUS
Apheori (GM): Well, in your case it's more like ten minutes with a hammer.
And pliers.
Ganelon: I HAVE DRAGONS TO EVICT
Frezak (GM): Not really.
Rhu: (to Dave) Elia ... that's the person you were looking for, isn't it? How do you know this is her skull, though?
Frezak (GM): I mean, all we're doing is dithering.
Rhu: Where did you find it, even?
Frezak (GM): Oh, I can do that.
Give me a fire-boost and i'll get evicting.
Ganelon: ...Sure.
Greibel: Certainly looks important by the binding
Dave: (to Rhu) I talked to a man. I listened first. And then I talked. And then he gave me a charm, and there was a place, and she was supposed to be there, except she wasn't.
Greibel: So I'm to mix this stuff and it'll be important?
Dave: (to Rhu) But this skull was, and it's her key. I wonder whose it was.
Amadi looks at Greibel as if she's no idea what he's talking about.
Amadi: ... Yes!
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 heal check on the skull to see if I can glean anything about the person it used to belong to: male, female, old, young, godling
(
15
)
+12
=
27
Frezak (GM): MANDIBLES
Greibel: Good enough for me.
Radek glares at Gravy for a moment, and then holds up the box.
Radek: There are dragons in this box and I need them out.
Rhu: What man?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's female, not ancient, and apparently deresi, nevermind that deresi are supposed to be a myth.
Radek: I don't care how you do it, but if you want me to spend time fixing your problems, you're going to do the same for me.
Rhu: HUH
The Gravedigger: Alive?
Rhu: This is a deseri skull
Apheori (GM): Deresi are a sort of engineered elves. Very powerful, not very smart usually.
Rhu: deresi*
Apheori (GM): Except nobody's ever really seen any, aside from bones that are supposedly theirs...
Radek: Don't care.
Dave: The man who... saw it. He knew me. I don't know.
Rhu: Hmm.
The Gravedigger: And you'll fix Mr. Mousie?
Rhu: So: we needed to find Elia, and now we have, but she's trapped in a deresi skull.
Hmm.
Radek: Yes.
Frezak (GM): GImme that shot and let me at 'em.
Rhu: (to Amadi) Mrs. Teatime? Do you know anything about minds trapped in skulls?
Ganelon: Yep, you may consider yourself fireproofed.
Frezak (GM): INTO THE DARKNESS I GO, TO BURY THE LIGHT
Apheori (GM): Dave gets up and goes over to the others to watch, because this looks interesting.
You dive into the box?
Amadi turns with the book and pokes it in Rhu's face.
Amadi: Look! It's importnat!
Amadi notices the skull and makes an ooo-ing sound. "I have one of those," she says proudly. "Except I can't touch it. So technically, it's not I who have it. But still!"
Frezak (GM): Well, carefully climb.
Apheori (GM): Slight issue - you don't seem to fit through the opening.
Frezak (GM): I'll reach out, grab a piece of dragon and pull.
*reach in
(From Ellemerr): Maybe I should've checked FIRST, but that skull IS Elia's key, like my bong?
Rhu looks up just in time to watch Gravy try to stuff himself into a small box of dragons
(To Ellemerr): Yes.
Ganelon: So, miss DM.
(From Ellemerr): Good. All is good.
Rhu: This is important too, and it is a skull. A deseri skull! It belongs in a museum.
Apheori (GM): You pull a dragon snout out.
Frezak (GM): I pull all the way.
Ganelon: Just out of curiosity, could I get a time estimate on how long it would take to make a robot mouse?
Frezak (GM): until out comes a dragon or it is no longer attached.
Apheori (GM): I'd say a couple hours.
Frezak: Strength.
Ganelon: Hmm.
Apheori (GM): Roll.
Amadi: You'd stick her in a museum? Better be a good one. Most of them are sort of boring. Besides, shouldn't you keep her around?
Frezak (GM): Not Athletics?
Dave: We need her. What is he... doing?
Amadi: I don't know!
Apheori (GM): Strength now. Athletics later.
Rhu: The skull I mean. If there's someone's mind stuck inside, we should liberate it first. But then the skull can be vouchered and preserved.
Amadi: He should read this really important passage!
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+6
(
18
)
+6
=
24
Rhu looks over Amadi's shoulder at this supposedly important passage
Frezak (GM): HNRRRRGH
Amadi: Stuck? Inside her key? We can do that?
Gaurav: Man, Gravy is on a roll today.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You get the dragon head all the way out with a lot of pulling, but then the shoulders definitely won't fit. Now you have a dragon head sticking out of a box.
Bear Soup Guy: I imagine said dragon head is blinking cartoonishly
Frezak (GM): Shoot her!
SHooooot heeeeer
Ganelon: I guess I'll have to settle for just fixing up the Mouseforged as it is.
Frezak (GM): Gaaaaaan
Ganelon: Yes, yes!
Apheori (GM): It blinks cartoonishly in the light, then starts struggling to get the rest of the way out, but it doesn't really do anything besides cause the box to start bouncing and flailing around.
Athletics to hold onto it.
Ganelon: I'll try and shoot the dragon head.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
11
)
+10
=
21
Apheori (GM): ...if you want to.
Rhu: Are they ... trying to shoot the dragon?
Frezak (GM): Well I want to hold it steady for Radek.
Apheori (GM): You hold onto the box while the dragon flails about.
Dave: Can't you just let it out?
Increase the aperture or something?
Bear Soup Guy: brb I need to make some food
Dave: (to Amadi, and much quieter) What IS an aperture?
Rhu: It might be dangerous. I'll bet there's a rule against releasing dragons in the city.
Dave: I need to get out of bed.
Apheori (GM): Dammit, ooc.
But I do need to get up. >.<
Ganelon: I'm guessing that no, I can't do this
Amadi: (whispers back to Dave) It's a giant green leech that doesn't go for your blood, but your cavities.
Ganelon: But if I can, now would be a good time to let me know.
Before I shoot.
Frezak (GM): I assumed Radek had already tried.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You'll have noticed a few dragons overhead already.
Gan: You might be able to!
It's totally science.
Magic.
Stuff.
Ganelon: ...You want an Arcana roll, then?
Apheori (GM): It's also a bit dangerous and could ruin the entire thing, hence maybe why you wouldn't have tried, but perhaps your ego doesn't expect that.
I dunno. Arcana if you want!
Dave: (to Amadi) Ewww!
Ganelon: ...Nah, this is really quite valuable and I'd rather have a dead dragon than risk breaking the box.
Dave: Hentai!
Radek: (Rifle Weapon Attack 27)
Frezak (GM): Wow.
Ganelon: There's a shootin' roll.
Rhu: They ARE trying to shoot a dragon. Well
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): ...do I need stats for some dragons? >.<
Frezak (GM): How do you get +12?
Apheori (GM): Does anyone have stats for some dragons?
Frezak (GM): Tons.
Amadi: (to Rhu, annoyed) Are you going to read the important thing or not?
Ganelon: +3 (prof)
+5 (int)
+2 (1/2 level)
+1 (enhancement - innate)
+1 (versatile expertise)
Frezak (GM): Enhancement?
Gaurav: There'd be dragons in the Monster Manual. It's on the shelf next to me. But I'd have to get out of bed to reach it.
Ganelon: Innate bonuses.
Frezak (GM): We have Inherents on?
Rhu: (to Amadi) What important thing? (peers at the important thing in the book)
Apheori (GM): Um, hold on, I need to get out of bed.
Ganelon: Or inherent.
Sorry.
Apheori (GM): I'll be right back.
Ganelon: I assumed so, given how loot works in this game.
Which is to say, we never get better weapons or armor, it's all just weird stuff like singing cutlery.
Frezak (GM): If I know what type of dragon and how many we're supposed to fight I can set up an encounter.
I could even run the monsters if needed.
Ellemerr: Desperate much?
Frezak (GM): >.>
Well, I don't have long.
Apheori (GM): Sorry, back.
Ellemerr: She returns!
Apheori (GM): It's not exactly an encounter in that all you'll ever fight is a single head poking out of a box.
And they have no mobility.
Have any stats that would make sense for that?
Frezak (GM): Oh, well then he certainly hit.
Immobile things have 10 AC.
Gaurav: They are magic, though.
Dragons, I mean.
Ganelon: If the thing is scaled to our level, 27 would hit literally anything.
Even something from Ashen Crown.
Frezak (GM): Sure, but it's a mostly immobile head.
If it were a dragon flying around, 27 would hit.
Apheori (GM): It's not scaled down, but it's also just a head.
(It's more scaled to the side.)
Frezak (GM): Well what level would the dragon BE?
Because that would hit a moving, invisible level 6 SOLO dragon.
Apheori (GM): 2pi.
Seriously? I don't know. Would the parts differ/
?
Right, so short of completely missing because a cat sat on his scope, Radek can hit it.
Frezak (GM): Well it would give us an idea of what kind of number he'd need.
But 27 would hit pretty much anything that's not moving.
Yes.
Ganelon: Then the question becomes, what does the hit do?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
It puts a hole in it. If you just keep shooting, you'll kill it. Gravy needs to keep holding the box, though.
Ganelon: Sounds like a plan to me.
Apheori (GM): It's also randomly spewing fire around and it sometimes hits Gravy, but that's why he has fire resistence.
Ellemerr: I'm over here, making Rhu read my book.
Gaurav: Aw, poor dragon.
Yes.
Ellemerr: Not being fired up by draongs.
Frezak (GM): How many Athletics checks do you want?
Rhu looks at the part of the book that Amadi is pointing vehemently at
Apheori (GM): Radek should keep rolling shots, and every time he does, you roll an athletic.
Frezak (GM): Right.
rolling 1D20+10
(
20
)
+10
=
30
YOU ARE SUPER HELD, MISTER DRAGON.
Ganelon: (Rifle Weapon Attack 25)
Frezak (GM): YOU LIFE IS IN MY GRIP.
Gaurav: WOAH
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see a block of text you can't read. Scribbled in the margin is a note that says 'This is all wrong. You need to go back to the beginning.'
Frezak (GM): AND I WILL CLENCH LIKE NO-ONE HAS EVER CLENCHED
Apheori (GM): Excellent.
Do it again.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
19
)
+10
=
29
CLose!
Ganelon: (Rifle Weapon Attack 21)
Gaurav: He did it again!
Frezak (GM): Man, I am so going back to the Booing Grounds for this.
And it'll be back to four 1s a fight.
Ganelon: Well right now you're being awesome, so don't stop.
Frezak (GM): Not dead yet?
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+14 perception check on the block of text I can't read, particularly if there are any clues as to why: is the writing blurry, can my eyes no focus on it, etc.
(
14
)
+14
=
28
Apheori (GM): Thanks to your excellent grip, the dragon is also unable to fry your companions.
Again.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
14
)
+10
=
24
Ganelon: (Rifle Weapon Attack 22)
I have to say, I'm loving Radek's accuracy.
Not even his rolls. They're pretty average today.
Frezak (GM): Like shooting armoured fire-breathing fish in a half-open barrel.
Ganelon: Just the bonus.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You try to discern what's with the text. It seems somewhat curly and weird, and then your hair catches fire.
Frezak (GM): CORRESPONDENCE
Ganelon: ...It's Correspondence?
Apheori (GM): Again.
Frezak (GM): HAH
rolling 1D20+10
(
11
)
+10
=
21
Ganelon: In a book!?
(Rifle Weapon Attack 13)
Frezak (GM): LOSING... POWER
Ganelon: Damn.
Frezak (GM): GAAAAAN
Apheori (GM): Just do it again.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
8
)
+10
=
18
Ganelon: (Rifle Weapon Attack 32)
Frezak (GM): Power.... failing
Ganelon: HAHA!
Apheori (GM): Aaaand the dragon is dead.
Frezak (GM): YEssss
Now...
How many more are there?
Gaurav: There's something strange about this ... eep!
Apheori (GM): You now have a dead dragon head poking hanging out of a box.
Rhu: There's something strange about this ... eep!
Frezak (GM): Anyone have a cutting thing?
I have... an enchanted trowel?
Rhu tries to put the fire out with his hands and, if that doesn't work, with his cowl
Ganelon: Shovel heads can be sort of sharp.
Apheori (GM): You can't tell how many are left because the opening is full of dragon neck.
Amadi looks at Rhu's hair, then the book, then back at his hair.
Amadi: Huh.
Amadi attempts eating the fire again. Hopefully without eating Rhu.
Frezak (GM): Well we can lay the box down and I'll just shovel-chop the neck.
Apheori (GM): Y'all are getting some weird looks from passerby.
Frezak (GM): Pretty sure there are no laws against this.
Radek claps heartily.
Radek: Good, good! Now just remove the obstruction while I see to the Mouseforged.
Gaurav: Whyever so? Is it the dragon heads we're shooting at? The heads catching fire? The unconscious giant on the ground?
Apheori (GM): Amadi: Roll arcana.
Amadi:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Ganelon: What a bunch of hypocrites. We've seen the people in this madhouse doing way crazier stuff.
Ellemerr: I have a bonus somewhere and I can find it.
Ganelon: It's at least +2, Merr.
From 1/2 level.
Ellemerr: It's 10.
Frezak (GM): Amadi... has +10.
To arcana.
Y'all fucked.
Apheori (GM): The fire leaps to Amadi's head and forms a sort of crown.
Frezak (GM): Delightful.
Ellemerr: It's one of the two things I'm good at. The other is words.
Amadi giggles.
Ganelon: Okay, so now it's time I hold up my end of the deal and do some mouse maintenance.
Gaurav: This isn't that surprising, she is basically what magic would look like if magic looked like an elven midget.
Ellemerr: Yeah.
Rhu keeps beating at his head for a while, then turns to Amadi and Dave and asks, "is it out?"
Amadi: Nope! It's up!
Rhu: ... up?
Amadi giggles more.
Frezak (GM): Aaaaand that's it from me for the next hour or so.
Rhu feels his head and assures himself that it is no longer on fire
Ganelon: Thanks for help with the dragon thing, Frezak.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios Frezak
Apheori (GM): Bye, love.
Ellemerr: Don't scare him, dearest.
Apheori (GM): What should I do instead?
Ellemerr: I have no idea.
Are we breaking? I could use more food.
Ganelon: Instead of D&D?
Apheori (GM): Instead of scaring him.
Should we break, then, the lot?
Gaurav: I'm okay with any option, including meeting again in an hour if Frezak might be returning.
Ganelon: Well, he's just eating with his family.
Unless they're known to employ poison, we'll probably see him again.
Apheori (GM): Let's see if he can return, then.
And if not, this isn't a horrible place to end for the... eh...
I won't be able to do next sunday.
Gaurav: What about weekdays this week?
Apheori (GM): I could do wednesday.
Gaurav: I have a meeting until 12:30 or 1pm MT (2 hours from now) on Wednesday, but I could meet after then.
Ganelon: Anything works for me.
Bear Soup Guy: Pretty sure wednesday is clear for me
Ellemerr: I get home about one hour ago and need sleep in about three to four hours on wednesdays. But I'm good.
Apheori (GM): Would tuesday work better?
Ellemerr: *shrugs*
Gaurav: I don't have anything scheduled for Tuesday yet, so yes.
I could meet at 8am MT (usual Sunday time) or 11am MT (usual Tuesday time) or whenever.
Bear Soup Guy: If we do around the time we usually meet sundays then I could probably swing Tuesday
Might have some things going on in the afternoon though
Apheori (GM): Tuesday morning!
Probably.
We'll verify later.
Bear Soup Guy: Indeed
Ellemerr: I'll go have some noodles.
Apheori (GM): Excellent.
Gaurav: I have some awful frozen pizza to poke dismally at, but I'll be back in 50 mins to check on Frezak. Someone please drop me an e-mail if things get restarted sooner than expected!
Frezak (GM): 10 minutes
ish
I have ot eat cake
Gaurav: what sort of cake?
Frezak (GM): its delishioush
Apheori (GM): I... may have started a dungeon. >.<
Ellemerr: I'm glowing. O_o
Frezak (GM) shrugs
Apheori (GM): Cake eaten?
Frezak (GM): Which you?
Apheori (GM): What?
Bear Soup Guy: which merr
Frezak (GM): Well, I have some with me here.
Many, many Merrs
Apheori (GM): Glowing merrs.
Frezak (GM): How many lumens?
IT'S STILL WARM
Apheori (GM): Sixteen.
Frezak (GM): Liar.
Gaurav: Is everybody back?
Ganelon: I'm here.
Frezak (GM): I was never heeeeere
I'm just a shadow of the hag.
Apheori (GM): I'm not etirely here, but if you tell me to get here I will.
Frezak (GM): Long and dark and filled with goslings.
Some people juggle them, alright?
Gaurav: Why would a hag need a shadow?
Frezak (GM): They cast them like they cast curses.
Constantly, often without trying.
Gaurav: Is BSG back? He was here a minute ago.
Bear Soup Guy: yep-o
Gaurav: yay! let us rebegin?
Frezak (GM): Let's see some robot-making.
Ganelon: You want one made or simply fixed?
Frezak (GM): Yes.
Ganelon: I thought you were better than this.
Frezak (GM): Better than what?
Apheori (GM): Okay, here.
Ganelon: Giving me useless, nonspecific answers.
Apheori (GM): He wants both.
Frezak (GM): "yes" is entirely accurate.
Means both.
SEE?
Apheori (GM): He wants a mouse, and he wants this one fixed.
Frezak (GM): EVEN NAMES UNDERSTOOD
Apheori (GM): Such is my normal usage.
Rhu notices that Amadi's head is now wreathed in fire.
Apheori (GM): And yet you accuse me of being fuzzy...
But you do the same!
Rhu: Um, Mrs. Teatime ...
The Gravedigger: I don't think she's married.
You married, shardling?
Amadi: Hm?
Ganelon: Well, let's start with the fixing.
rolling 1d20+12 Arcanamechanics
(
12
)
+12
=
24
Rhu: Ms. Teatime, then? Either way, your, um, head. Is kind of. On fire?
Kind of.
The Gravedigger: Looks like a hat.
Apheori (GM): You fixed the casing!
The Gravedigger: She's not screaming, so it's probably not that bad.
UNless she is and we can't hear it.
Rhu considers this possibility, then takes a step back
Dave sidles up to Greibel and asks to borrow his bong.
The porridge oozes over to Radek and 'helps'.
Frezak (GM): I better see an Arcana check from that animate breakfast.
The porridge:
rolling 1d20 - 1d12
(
3
)
-
(
2
)
=
1
Frezak (GM): Oh, wow.
Amadi: I am not married. I'm the Queen of Fire.
Frezak (GM): That's helping.
The porridge gets in Radek's hair.
Amadi: If I was married there'd be a King. Don't want that.
Ganelon: ...
Dave: There is a King.
Not fire, though... what is in your hair? (to Radek)
Rhu: Fair enough. Just Teatime, then? Can you read what's written here? I can just read the note that says it's all wrong.
And I don't know why you think that's important. What book is this, anyway?
Rhu peers at the book's cover
Radek: Something which is about to be disintegrated if it doesn't /get out/.
The porridge slides out of Radek's hair.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It says 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Planes'.
Rhu: Huh.
Apheori (GM): Radek: Another arcana to fix more!
Radek:
rolling 1d20+12
(
6
)
+12
=
18
Ganelon: Hmm.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: And someone wrote underneath in faded pencil, 'Amended version'.
Ganelon: Pretty soggy.
Frezak (GM): SHAPE UP, GAN.
Apheori (GM): Good enough. The innards are mostly solid and you fix them without breaking anything. Now do the rest.
Radek:
rolling 1d20+12
(
17
)
+12
=
29
Frezak (GM): THanks.
Apheori (GM): Before the very confused mouseforged does something... well, nevermind.
Rhu goes back to looking at the skull.
Apheori (GM): You finish up and it tries to hug you.
Frezak (GM): Really?
Radek: Oh, uh...
Frezak (GM): THat's not very mousey.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Apheori (GM): Neither is being a warforged.
WHAT HAS HE DONE?!
Frezak (GM): Sure, but as far as I knew the mousie didn't really know that it was.
Apheori (GM): And as far as you know it could be trying to climb him.
Which it is. Radek! Roll a thing to not get knocked over.
It's making excited noises, and where is Greibel?
Ganelon: Uh, a thing?
Apheori (GM): I don't know which is appropriate, but surely there's something. Or is there?
Ganelon: Sure, but you have to decide what.
Apheori (GM): Unless you want to push it on Gravy.
Ellemerr: I'm distracted by glowing. I'm very sorry.
Ganelon: Like, is it athletics?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Gaurav: I think the mouse forged should roll something against Radek, and we can see if his FORT is enough to withstand it.
Ganelon: That might make more sense.
Apheori (GM): Oh, okay.
Frezak (GM): Acrobatics, more like.
Ganelon: His fort and athletics are both terrible, though
Frezak (GM): Well, that's usual way to handle it in 4E, Rave.
Apheori (GM): What's the 4e equivalent of a climb?
Gaurav: Grab? Acrobatics?
Frezak (GM): Athletics check.
Ganelon: Athletics is used to climb, but against stable surfaces.
Bear Soup Guy: sorry, greibel is here
I dozed off a little bit in my chair
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL!
Dave wants to borrow your bong. Do you let her?
Bear Soup Guy: Surely but I check to make sure she isn't hiding something potent that'll get her loopy and her head in the clouds again
Apheori (GM):
rolling 1d20 + 1d8 because I have no idea what it should be mouseforged athletics to climb Radek... vs fortitude!!
(
3
)
+
(
2
)
=
5
Okay, mouseforged falls on the floor instead. That works.
Ganelon: ...Well.
Frezak (GM): Good 'ole Stonebones Radek.
Radek: Alright Gravy, your mouse friend is... as operational as it was before.
The Gravedigger: Thanks, Radek.
Ganelon: How's the whole dragon-box situation coming along?
Gaurav:
rolling 1d20+9 religion check: Rhu prays to Hazz' for wisdom in dealing with skulls with minds inside, while searching his own mind to see if he remembers anything like this in any of the scriptures he's read
(
16
)
+9
=
25
Ganelon: Have we got a severed dragon head yet?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You severing?
Frezak (GM): If I didn't before I left, yes.
(To Rhu): Those are the keys. Three keys to break the realms, and three to close them. Kyrule did not know what he created.
Rhu: Ah. And ... this is a key also, is it? (wiggles skull at the heavens)
Amadi: I told you that already.
(To Amadi): He isn't very good at listening, is he?
Rhu looks the skull right in the empty eye-sockets
Rhu: Maybe we should take this to look at the Book in the Library
Bear Soup Guy: "TELL ME YOUR SECRETS"
Dave: (waving the bong for emphasis) She's dead, mate.
(From Amadi): "Well, he's YOUR-"
Rhu: She's dead, but also a key.
Amadi starts screaming.
(To Amadi): Stop that.
Ganelon: What kind of screaming?
Ellemerr: The loud and ongoing kind.
Hazz'ridan forcibly shuts Amadi up.
Rhu: (to Dave) Do you know if she was --- (turns to Amadi and tries to block his ears while still holding the skull)
Ganelon gasps.
Rhu: (to Dave) --- a Deresi? Did you know her back when you were a ... god-person?
Amadi looks shocked and a little scared and very, very angry.
Amadi attempts mentally screaming at Hazz.
Dave hastily hands the bong to Rhu.
Gaurav gets some popcorn
Dave suddenly starts screaming as Amadi was.
The Gravedigger: We could just leave.
Rhu takes the bong, looks at it in confusion, then tries to hand it to Greibel
Apheori (GM): Gravy: When you hacked the dragon head off, the rest of the dragon slid back into the box. You can now see that there are two other, now rather afraid, dragons remaining. They shrink away from the opening.
Gaurav: Aw. Poor dragons.
Ellemerr: Poor dragons. o_o
Radek strolls over to the box and looks in.
The Gravedigger: There's a couple more in here.
Gaurav: GREIBEL!
Have a bong
The Gravedigger: Could you potshot them from outside?
Dave is still screaming.
Rhu tries to block his ears while holding a skull in one hand and a bong in the other. It doesn't work.
Amadi goes over and puts her arms protectively around Dave.
Rhu: (to Amadi, over the screaming) WHAT IS SHE SCREAMING FOR? DO YOU KNOW?
(From Ellemerr): Do I know what it is? It's not her Key, is it? I don't know what her Key is. I'm not sure she has one.
(To Ellemerr): She doesn't, and you don't know. It just started when you couldn't anymore.
Radek: Maybe. For now, leaving sounds rather attractive.
Gaurav: Do we have any sedatives? Can Rhu try to sedate Dave with a heal check?
Amadi ponders, then grins and yells, "Maybe she's helping me!"
Dave finally stops, and then smacks Amadi in the face.
Amadi looks hurt and angry again.
The Gravedigger: Anything we can do with this head?
Ganelon: Good question!
Do I know/can I find that out?
Apheori (GM): If anyone knows, it's you.
What can an artificer do with a dragon head?
Ganelon: Well, maybe some alchemy.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+7 insight check to see if Rhu even notices that Amadi looks hurt and angry
(
20
)
+7
=
27
Gaurav: stick it on the mouseforged
Bear Soup Guy: oh greibel takes the bong
Gaurav: dracomusforged
Bear Soup Guy: sorry went afk
Amadi lets go of Dawn and goes over to sit down behind the Mouseforge, looking sullen.
Ganelon: Woundpatches, bombs, or Alchemist's Fire/Acid, perhaps.
If it's useful at all, anyways.
If you agree, just give me another arbitrary number for how much stuff I could extract from just the head.
Frezak (GM): Maybe Greibel can smoke it.
Ganelon: I suspect there are few things he cannot.
Bear Soup Guy tries to think up a pun playing on "head change"
Apheori (GM): Rhu: I think you noticed. And you may even have some idea why. Folks keep hating on her.
The Gravedigger shouts into the hole.
The Gravedigger: Sorry, a little misunderstanding. If you guys come out we won't kill you.
Ganelon: Cheap Alchemist's fire is 25, a better version that I'm just barely qualified to make is 100.
Frezak (GM): Worth a shot.
Apheori (GM): One of the dragons says something long and low in response.
Frezak (GM): Druuuuuuid!
Bear Soup Guy: Do I speak dragon?
I hope I speak dragon
Apheori (GM):
rolling 2d200 stuff from dragon head
(
193
+
136
)
=
329
Huh.
Frezak (GM): Hadn't considered that dragons weren't terrible things that eat people.
BLAME THE MERR.
Nice.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): When do we enchant our shizzle?
Ellemerr: Hey wait what?!
Frezak (GM): I keep thinking of Mara and her friend, Merr.
Apheori (GM): BSG: Try speaking dragon.
Ganelon: When people have requests and I have time.
Ellemerr: They weren't even real dragons!
Frezak (GM): Well.
+1 to base gear is never refused.
I KNOW.
Bear Soup Guy: A 200-sided die, now there would be a sight
Rhu: (to Amadi and Dave) Did either of you know her? (wiggles skull)
Ganelon: Remember that one time Karstein rolled a 1 on a d200?
Greibel strolls over and pushes his head in the box to get a good look
Ellemerr: And for that matter, I don't know if these are either!
Ganelon: And just thought it was a d20?
Greibel: You guys okay down there?
Amadi sticks her tongue out at Rhu and shuffles around the mouseforge to get it between as many people and herself as possible.
Rhu: I found a d100: http://www.unclesgames.com/images/products/N00390_big.jpg
Radek: Careful, they might try the same trick on you that Gravy got one of them with.
Bear Soup Guy: eek
Ellemerr: Man, I'd love having a d100. I've seen one, once.
Bear Soup Guy: you'd need to have the table walled off to keep it from rolling off XD
Frezak (GM): THe most deadly polyhedron.
Or just roll it realllllly gently.
More sort of brush than roll.
Bear Soup Guy: indeed
"there ya go little fella, one step at a time"
Dave: I told you. That's Ellia.
Rhu watches Amadi go, then turns to Dave
Rhu: Yes, but did you know her?
Back when she was less ... a disembodied skull
Ellemerr: phone
Dave shakes her head slowly.
Apheori (GM): BSG: How drugged are you?
Roll a d20.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Rhu: I wonder if _she_ did (motions at Amadi with the skull)
Is it nearly lunchtime yet?
Frezak (GM): Dragon sandwiches!
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu's appetite clearly knows no bounds
Disembodied head in hand "I could sure go for some ribs."
Apheori (GM): AGH DAMN YOU ELLEMERR.
Ellemerr: WHAT
Apheori (GM): You distracted me.
Okay.
GREIBEL!
Bear Soup Guy: At your service
Apheori (GM): You asked if the dragons are okay down there?
Bear Soup Guy: That was my genus opening line, yes
Apheori (GM): They respond saying they want out. They've been trapped for a very long time and crap.
Please help them and crap; they do not want to fight you.
They also seem to be a bit freaked out at the dead companion.
Frezak (GM): Ooops.
Ganelon: I'm not apologizing!
Frezak (GM): Yeah, but you're evil.
Greibel: Well that's good, because we don't want to be carrying dragons around any more than you want to be carried around. No offence.
Frezak (GM): Action-wise, you're basically a Lich.
Greibel: Do you know this planet? Could you fly around and stuff?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: They tell you that the pocket is tied to the box; separate it, or change the box, and they should be able to get out. It's just too small.
Greibel: They have no idea what planet this is, but if they could fly again, it would be a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Greibel: Okay, let me check with the science man. Back in a jiffy!
Greibel pops his head out of the box
Greibel: Radek, they say we have to separate the box from the pocket, whatever that means.
Then they'll fly away and gladly leave us be.
Ganelon: Do these words make any more sense to Radek than they do to me?
Apheori (GM): Let's say they do, sort of. It's kind of bad terminology.
The pocket probably refers to a pocket dimension, or pocket of space - the idea there wouldn't be to separate it, which would just close it off completely, but separate it from this specific opening with a new one or something.
Gaurav: So here's a crazy idea: can we fit one of the portals in the box?
Frezak (GM): OH GODS.
Radek: ...I'll need an opening big enough to fit them through.
(To Gaurav): Yes.
Gaurav: if there are whale people around here, there are probably ... mouse people, or whatever. pop one of their portals in to the box, Bag of Holding rules expands it to dragon size, they fly through. And then you have a Bag of Holding with a portal in it.
... which might destroy the universe or something.
Destroy it more I mean.
Frezak (GM): Get a length of rope.
Tie it into a loop.
Make that the entrance.
Then it's resizeable.
Apheori (GM): Like blowing a bubble!
Frezak (GM): Yep.
Bear Soup Guy: That is genius
Frezak (GM): ANd we can abduct cows with ease.
And just start snatching anythign.
Apheori (GM) cackles.
Frezak (GM): Possibly small buildings.
Ellemerr: back
Ganelon: Is that our final solution?
Bear Soup Guy: Seems like a pretty good one
Ganelon: Alright then!
Apheori (GM): Radek can get assists from the crazy ladies! They're both trained in arcana.
...for some reason.
Ganelon: Oh boy.
Gaurav: "trained"?
Ganelon: Then they must roll and beat 10.
Frezak (GM): I'm really sorry.
Ellemerr: I have 10.
But I guess I have to not roll a 1.
How is Amadi assisting while being completely sullen elsewhere, though?
Apheori (GM): She doesn't have to. But dragons!
Ganelon: I guess she means, you may assist me if you want to.
Apheori (GM): Exactly.
It'd be funny. I have no idea if it would even help.
But it'd be funny.
Ellemerr: *I*d like to.
Dave runs to the box, yelling excitedly, "We're getting the dragons out!"
Dave: Eeeee dragons!
Apheori (GM): She can stop being sullen.
Rhu looks around for something to hide behind
Apheori (GM): Rhu can also... I dunno.
What's he doing with that skull?
Ganelon: Pray that nothing fucks up?
Gaurav: Just holding on to it.
Oh crap yes.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+9 religion check to pray that nothing fucks up
(
7
)
+9
=
16
Amadi glares at Dawn but creeps out and peers with some interest at the dragons.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You now have two crazy ladies peering into the box.
Do you have a rope? Roll!
Amadi:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Ellemerr: +10
Frezak (GM): We all have rope.
Apheori (GM):
rolling 1d20 +7 for Dave
(
10
)
+7
=
17
Frezak (GM): Future rope, no less.
Apheori (GM): So Radek puts a loop of that on the box opening, so it lines up exactly, and...
...hopefully doesn't totally botch the magic.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+12+2+2
(
15
)
+12+2+2
=
31
Gaurav: WOO
Ganelon: He raises his arms all dramatically and magic shit happens.
Ellemerr: I thought he was using his hands to hold the rope?
Apheori (GM): He was. Then he magicked. He has two lovely assistants, you know.
Anyway, it works perfectly. Radek raises the loop of rope and the opening is now attached to it, leaving behind a now perfectly ordinary box... that crumbles to dust.
Frezak (GM): Dussssst!
Apheori (GM): Well, probably all three of them raise it. It's like dramatical and crap.
Gaurav: wow
that was awesome
Frezak (GM): So crap.
I mean.
Dramatical
Amadi looks proud for a moment, then notices Dawn and glares again.
Dave suddenly looks embarrassed and quickly backs away.
Ganelon: So do dragons come flying out of our rope portal?
Apheori (GM): I assume you make the opening bigger, then?
Ganelon: Well yeah.
Apheori (GM): Aiight, so you make it loop of rope bigger and lie it out on the ground. A dragon pulls itself out and takes a few steps, looking around. Then the other squeezes through as well and takes off almost immediately. The first follows.
Then Dave flies off after them too.
Rhu: HEY!
Radek: ...Fantastic.
Rhu stares helplessly into the sky after Dave
Gaurav: ... then they all get eaten by a gryphon.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You now have a rope of holding, with only most of a dead dragon in it.
Frezak (GM): I'm sure there must be SOMETHING we can do with it.
Other than sandwiches.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The dragons soar overhead, roaring strange words into the wind. Another dragon joins in and they swoop a lot. You think you see a much smaller figure in it as well.
Gaurav: Sell it?
Rhu sighs.
Rhu: Hazz'ridan is probably not going to like this.
Amadi: Awesome.
I think that's the best thing you've said all day.
(To Amadi):
(To Amadi): ...did it just eat my heart? I tried to send a heart.
Frezak (GM): We could streetwise to find an apothecary?
(From Amadi): Yeah, those don't work.
(To Amadi): Bastard of an interface!
Rhu looks unhappily at Amadi, then unhappily at the skull, then unhappily back up at the Dave speck
Radek bundles up the rope with a satisfied look on his face.
Rhu: I suppose she'll be back.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You could.
Frezak (GM): But Amadi has streetwise.
Apheori (GM): Who has diplomacy?
Apheori (GM) runs.
Ellemerr: Me. ;P
Bear Soup Guy: Literally Amadi is the only member of the party who knows how to intentionally not make enemies while talking to people
Ganelon: Radek might have some, I think?
Gaurav: Before this campaign ends, I want to see one of us roll a natural twenty on a diplomacy check
Frezak (GM): I have intimidate and... digging.
Ganelon: Yeah, he has 7 diplomacy.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh, not bad then
Ellemerr: Dipl is Amadi's highest. 11.
Frezak (GM): BLuff is Amadi's Highest.
Ellemerr: Oh, right. I forgot that one.
Apheori (GM): Digging is a valuable communication skill.
Especially among wombats.
Ellemerr: Heeeee
Apheori (GM): So who wants to streetwise to find an apothecary?
Frezak (GM): Not me.
Gaurav: Not me.
Frezak (GM): Amaaaaaadiiii
Help ussssss
Gaurav: Could I have an update on Dave's location, please?
Ellemerr: Why?
Apheori (GM): In the sky probably. You can't see her anymore. Some dragons are visible, but they may or may not be the right ones.
Actually they may or may not even be dragons.
Rhu sighs, then prays to Hazz' to keep Dave safe
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+9 religion check for that last prayer
(
1
)
+9
=
10
Gaurav: oops
Ellemerr: *cackles*
Gaurav: Rhu accidentally prays to Dave to keep Hazz' safe.
Ganelon: "Lightning strikes."
Apheori (GM): *cackles*
Ellemerr! He's praying to us! We've finally broken him!
Gaurav: Sarathi broke me. The rest has just been custard on the pudding.
Maybe the consequences of that '1' will be bad enough that it will amuse Amadi and she'll help us find an apothecary.
Frezak (GM): Or we just ignore it and have it for lunch.
Apheori (GM): No apparent (immediate) consequences, unfortunately.
Lunch?
Frezak (GM): Lunch?
Ganelon: Someone's probably got the Nature required to tell us if Dragon is safe to eat.
Gaurav gulps
Frezak (GM): I have 10, but Greibel has more I think.
Apheori (GM): Greibel might be smoking it.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
3
)
+10
=
13
There it is!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+13 dragon nature
(
7
)
+13
=
20
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You examine a piece and realise it smells funny, like there's something odd in it.
Gaurav: I feel like if we wander the town long enough with a dead dragon body, we'll be pointed to someone who might be interested in it soon enough
or a dragon will swoop down from the skies and attack us for killing its kin, one or the toher
Apheori (GM): BSG: It needs to be cooked special. And the extra odd something in it makes a good drug. But you don't want to eat it.
The Gravedigger: I tihnk they're bad.
Ellemerr: I think I should sleep. >.<
Frezak (GM): Blaaargh!
Radek: I'm sure I could do /something/ with this...
Bear Soup Guy: I should probably call my dad back
Apheori (GM): Basically you need to separate the meat from the oddities.
Like... uh... some kind of fish folks make?
I dunno.
Ganelon: Blowfish.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Frezak (GM): Anyone have butchery as a skill?
Gaurav: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fugu?
Apheori (GM): Perhaps now is the time to break. Can we all come back tuesday?
Alternately the next would be the sunday after next. The 8th.
Gaurav: I can do Tuesday morning.
Frezak (GM): I think I'm free tuesday;
Ellemerr: I should be available.
Bear Soup Guy: likewise
Ganelon: Of course.
Apheori (GM): Excellent.
You can deal with the dragon then.
Bear Soup Guy: Most exciting thing I've ever done on a tuesday
Frezak (GM): You clearly haven't been chased by a boar.
Gaurav: Same time as on Sunday?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Gaurav: Sounds good, see y'all then. Hooray for resizable bags of holding! Bye!
Bear Soup Guy: Bye everybody!
Apheori (GM): Goodbye, my sweets.
Ellemerr: *hugs everyone and runs away*