Holes/Session 7/raw

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
Gaurav: Is this Thingy?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Bear Soup Guy: Noodles!
Apheori (GM): I'll be right back. I need to try hammering my foot.
Bear Soup Guy: Fair enough
Gaurav: ... wha?
Apheori (GM): Okay, I'm here.
Frezak (GM): So you say.
Is Wen coming?
Ganelon: Well, his character's dead.
I think he's just a watcher.
Gaurav: He's just resting.
His character, not Wen.
Frezak (GM): He's just resting his eyes.
And his blood.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Bear Soup Guy: REST IN BLOOD
Apheori (GM): Yes/
The Gravedigger: REST IN HOLE.
Apheori (GM): So where were we? Everyone but Radek sleeping?
Rhu tosses in his sleep. He mumbles something about cornflakes.
Gaurav: We were also leveling/leveled up to level 2, I think.
Apheori (GM): And you all have been blessed by the Holy Hazz'ridan... with sanity.
Apheori (GM) points and laughs.
Apheori (GM): Right, does everyone know how to level?
Frezak (GM): I did my levellings.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh dear, levels....
Apheori (GM): Do we care?
Frezak (GM): I'm levelled.
To the max.
of 2.
Apheori (GM): Are we doomed?
Gaurav: We were doomed a long time ago on a planet far, far away.
Apheori (GM): Can I assault you with mutants?
Bear Soup Guy: I have no idea how to level
Gaurav: Rhu is at level 2 and ready to go.
Bear Soup Guy: Please assault us with mutants though
Frezak (GM): Does Gan have Greibel's sheet?
Ganelon: I do.
Frezak (GM): Then throw some stuff on it and we can rock this city.
Ganelon: Dude, I dunno how to build druids.
Frezak (GM): Just throw some random omnifunctional stuff and we can rework it properly later.
Gaurav: Skittering Sneak or Obscuring Mist might be useful as level 2 druid utilities go.
Ganelon: I dunno, Verdant Bounty sounds fun.
You can just point and BOOM PLANTS.
Gaurav: Feat: what about Ferocious Tiger Form?
Ganelon: It'll do for now.
Bear Soup Guy: BOOM PLANTS and tigers
Sounds excellent
Frezak (GM): brb
Gaurav: Tiger. Just the one. The one you turn into, that is.
Bear Soup Guy: Well
They add up to tigers after I do it over and over
They're just...tigers over time
Ganelon: Okay, done.
Apheori (GM): Sounds like something DJ Jesus would say.
Gaurav: DJ Jesus?
Bear Soup Guy: From Lucy?
Apheori (GM): Yes!
Ganelon: So he can make a burst 2 within 10 zone of overgrowth spring up from nowhere now.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Lucy, Daughter of the Devil.
Ganelon: That's 25 ft of plants.
Square feet.
Bear Soup Guy: That show was awesome
While it lasted, anyway
Apheori (GM): Yes.
And blimey.
Ganelon: The plants are very thick and suitable to hide in.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh my god awesome
The dumbest of all Mega Man villans
Gaurav: It doesn't specify what kind of plant, does it?
Ganelon: Nope.
So obviously it's a narcotic.
Gaurav: Unless there are carnivorous plants in this universe ...
Apheori (GM): With Greibel involved, it surely is.
Of course there are.
Bear Soup Guy: Sprawling stalks of cannabis
Frezak (GM): You become a field of hemp?
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Frezak (GM): And then.. smoke yourself.
Bear Soup Guy: There was some supervillain who grafted his head to just like, a ton of pot, in some comic
That is the end of that story
Gaurav imagines a tearful scene in which the only way we can Solve The Problem With The Holes is by altering our perception so that we can see our foes ... and Greibel must sacrifice himself so that we might toke.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Gaurav: A *ton*? Dude was taking no chances.
Frezak (GM): THumbs up for that plan.
Gravy needs a lot of drugs for his body mass.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): Sure.
Gaurav: Game!
Apheori (GM): Yes.
So everyone went to bed after lots of drinking. Shalott for the lost. Bit of a tradition. A welcome to your new grave.
Gaurav: He'll be back. You can't keep a good paladin down. Or trapped in alternate cheesy reality, as the case might be.
Apheori (GM): And Radek was probably doing stuff while drunk.
Ganelon: Yes.
I can get to that in the morning.
Apheori (GM): Well, it's morning.
Frezak (GM): MORNING
Gaurav: Is that OOC? Because Rhu might be ever so slightly hungover.
Bear Soup Guy: The way a delivery truck is ever so slightly heavy
Apheori (GM): Lessee...
Bear Soup Guy: Are we rolling hangover checks? :D
Apheori (GM): Dude, that would be hilarious.
But I don't know enough about hangovers.
Bear Soup Guy: Fair enough
(From Gaurav): if Hazz'ridan or any other god would like to possess passed-out Rhu to pass on a mysterious message to the group, now would be a good time!
Gaurav: hey, quick question: do I get to add a +1 to all my checks now that I'm at level 2 -- i.e. my CHA is 8, so mod is -1, does that become 0?
hungoverness sounds like a fortitude defense or some such to me
Frezak (GM): yep
All your D20s have +1 now.
It doesn't change your stat mod.
Just the rolls.
So your cha mod is still -1, but a Cha Check is +0.
Gaurav: ah, gotcha. I always get confused about that. Thanks!
Bear Soup Guy: MODS
(To Gaurav): Hazz will bide his time and appear in full glory later. IT WILL BE AWESOME.
Bear Soup Guy: HERO TIME
Greibel stumbles groggily out of bed
Greibel: hero time......
Apheori (GM): Ahah, heroes.
Radek: Oh, you're awake.
(From Gaurav): *gasp*
Apheori (GM): Does this mean you get a +1 to sanity checks too?
Frezak (GM): That's up to you.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Gaurav: Depends on whether you think the sanity check is related to something about us (like our constitution, intelligence, etc -- you could even do it backwards, high intelligence = more likely to get confused by magic!). If so, then yes? Otherwise, straight d20s mean everybody has an equal chance of going batty I think.
Rhu wakes as slowly as he can possibly manage. If he were familiar with steam locomotives or bricks, he would say he feels like a hundred steam locomotives are driving full-tilt into a brick wall in his head, but luckily he isn't and can't.
Apheori (GM): Well, you all have base modifiers that change depending on circumstances and stuff and I'm not telling you what they are.
Gaurav: oof. makes sense.
Greibel stares incredulously at Radek while taking a bong hit
Apheori (GM): Is Gravy still asleep?
Frezak (GM): How would I know ?
Amadi: That'll make you live, you know.
Frezak (GM): I'd assumed it'd wake up with everyone else?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Fine, wake him up.
Bloody giants.
Frezak (GM): Okay, he wakes up.
Apheori (GM): And Amadi just randomly appeared behind Greibel.
Greibel: Hmmm
Oh hey, it's the time lady
Amadi: What? Where?
Amadi looks around.
Greibel points playfully at Amadi
Amadi: Do you see that?
Greibel: You, silly!
Rhu: Time wha?
Greibel offers Amadi the bong
Rhu sits bolt upright when he sees Amadi, electrical pain coursing through this skull.
Ganelon: ...How old does Amadi appear to be, again?
Amadi reaches out to take it and vanishes.
Apheori (GM): When touching it.
Rhu: Ow. Hi. Sandwich Lady, right?
Apheori (GM): She's... grown-looking.
But small.
Greibel turns bemused to Radek
Rhu: Where did she go?
Greibel: She's been smoking some good stuff man.
Radek: I'm almost surprised that you haven't had enough of people disappearing in front of us.
Frezak (GM): Wait, we see this?
I thought it was in Greibel/Rhu's room.
Apheori (GM): I think only Greibel and Radek should.
Ganelon: I was in his room.
Not Rhu.
Apheori (GM): Right, that.
Or was Rhu there too?
Frezak (GM): Oh,r ight.
I thought I was with Radek because he didn't need the bed.
Apheori (GM): Or that.
Yeah, that's what happened.
Oh, whatever.
Greibel: The first night Greibel was with Radek
Rhu: According to the logs, Rhu was dumped with Greibel, and Gravy was with Radek since he doesn't sleep.
Greibel: But who knows what we did the second night
Ganelon: Oh. Well then, whoops.
Bear Soup Guy: We were drunk
Gaurav: People waking up in the middle of the night searching for water and ending up in the wrong room is not out of the question.
Especially given the Shallot.
Bear Soup Guy: Good point
Frezak (GM): You'd know if I was getting into the same bed as you.
Gaurav: Yes.
Apheori (GM): Are you sure?
If gravy winds up on top of someone, would they necessarily survive?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
Ganelon: He hogs sheets, though.
Frezak (GM): I DO NOT
Ganelon: He totally does.
Gaurav: Their dying screams would rouse Gravy and he would get up before they lost consciousness. Hopefully.
Frezak (GM): Well Gravy will head downstairs for breakfast.
Apheori (GM): Gravy will find more bowls of (less) congealed porridge.
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Ganelon: I'll follow him.
Rhu does the morning stuff and heads downstairs also, maintaining a look of death.
Frezak (GM): I'll wave at Rhu.
Amadi walks out of a wall and follows Rhu down.
Frezak (GM): I feel that a look of death is normal for him.
Rhu doesn't see it. He heads for the table and begins to porridge.
Greibel heads downstairs, realizing he's now lacking a bong
Frezak (GM): Do I see the midget phase through the wall?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
It happens around when you wave.
The Gravedigger: Oh, hello small lady.
Amadi waves back.
Amadi: Hi!
Are you the mystery?
The Gravedigger: Doubt it.
Apheori (GM): RAHB: Greibel still has the bong. Unless he dropped it. Which is entirely possible.
Radek: His mind's no grand puzzle, that's for sure.
The answer is shovels.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh okay
The Gravedigger: Shovels solve many things.
Also spades.
Amadi: (to Radek) And you? You don't look anything like a shovel.
Unless you do.
The Gravedigger: No.
He isn't a shovel.
Amadi: Shovels take many forms.
The Gravedigger: I have seen many shovels.
Amadi: Like spiders.
The Gravedigger: And I can say with certainty that Radek is not a shovel.
Or a trowel.
Amadi sits down and starts eating a porridge.
Greibel: He's more like the Silver Surfer
The Gravedigger: The what?
Are you on drugs again?
Greibel smiles
Frezak (GM): Isn't Greibel always smiling?
Amadi eyes Greibel.
Frezak (GM): Unless he hasn't got lips.
Amadi: Not hardly. Silver Surfer's silver, for one.
Bear Soup Guy: He smiled more
Greibel: Fair enough
Radek inspects his new eyebot curiously.
The Gravedigger: So what are our plans for today?
Rhu: Why do you keep vanishing and reappearing, Sandwich Lady? It hurts my head.
The Gravedigger: MAGIC.
Radek: I don't remember as much about how I made this as I'd like.
The Gravedigger: Can't you... take it apart to see how you did it?
Greibel: Does it shoot lasers?
Radek: Of course it shoots lasers, and of course I could take it apart.
Amadi: Oh, Kerrin, I'm not your head.
Amadi pats Rhu's head.
The Gravedigger: hey!
The eyebot is the mystery!
It's the robot floating eye that fires lasers.
That's the mystery.
Greibel: Sounds like a mystery
The Gravedigger: I solved the mystery about what the mystery is!
Is there a prize?
Radek sighs heavily.
Apheori (GM): That's not a mystery.
Ganelon: He's a bit hungover.
The Gravedigger pats Radek.
The Gravedigger: You can solve the next one.
Rhu: (to Amadi) I don't think we've been introduced. I am Rhu, an Avenger in the service of Hazz'ridan the creators of dead ends.
Apheori (GM): That's... alcohol.
Amadi: Creator? Dead ends aren't created.
Ganelon: "What the hell did I do last night?" is a pretty good mystery.
Amadi: This ham tastes like soap.
Is there soap in the ham?
Ganelon: But it's not been completely solved yet.
The Gravedigger: What ham?
Greibel: That's porridge, silly lady
Rhu: Dead ends come from Hazz'ridan and in the end return to him. I read that on the internet.
The Gravedigger: That's porridge.
Amadi: Looks like ham to me.
The Gravedigger: You got your religion from the Internet?
Online Avenger degree? Cool.
Rhu: The Maze of Hazz'ridan where I was given my implement and training didn't talk about the beginnings of ends. I had to figure that out for myself.
Amadi: Wear it.
Wear it like you mean it.
It's not a maze unless you WEAR IT!
Amadi suddenly stands on her and towers over Rhu.
The Gravedigger: You sound even crazier than Rhu.
He says a lot of rubbish.
Rhu: WOAH! Do you mean this? (points to the Maze of Hazz'ridan implement on a string around his neck)
The Gravedigger: No offense, Rhu.
Gaurav: Stands on her what?
Ganelon: I assume feet.
Amadi sits gracefully.
Amadi: No.
Apheori (GM): Yes, feet.
Rhu: None taken, Gravy. Hazz'ridan the Great showed us great mercy yesterday, and he is with us in our quest. I shall have a chance to learn many, many truths at his feet before I return home, of this I am certain. Where's the salt?
The Gravedigger: Check behind the bar.
Amadi: Try the gravy.
Amadi leans forward and grabs Rhu's implement.
Rhu stays where he is, in case Amadi vanishes again.
Rhu: Hey!
Rhu tries to grab it back
Rhu: I need that!
Greibel: Two enter. Only ONE shall leave!
Amadi: No you don't. Your faith is your own. Your items are mine.
Always mine.
Forever mine.
You enter my dreams and you are mine, and aren't you here now? Yes, yes, I think you are.
So you're mine.
Mine, mine, mine.
Rhu lets go of his implement.
Rhu: (awestruck) who _are_ you?
Amadi stares at it and turns it over in her hands.
The Gravedigger: Yeah, that's crazy and creepy.
Greibel: I'm with you, brother
Greibel casually eats the porridge anyway
Greibel tries feeding some to Rasputin
The Gravedigger: Isn't that cannibalism?
The porridge declines.
Greibel: Hmmph
Worth a shot
What does porridge eat, anyway?
Gaurav: That is well-brought-up porridge.
Radek: Fanged peas.
The porridge jiggles a bit in an attempt to answer.
Greibel: Oh, right!
The Gravedigger: Booze?
Greibel gives Rasputin a suspiciously still in-tact fanged pea
Apheori (GM): Rasputin tries to grab the pea, but it manages to evade and goes onto the floor.
So Rasputin follows, leaping after it, and grabs it on the way down before hitting the floor with a splat.
Greibel: Good boy!
Amadi: That looks painful.
The Gravedigger: Ew.
Rhu: (to Amadi) what did you mean by all that "My items are yours" stuff?
The Gravedigger: You're not a thief, are you?
Because Rhu kind of needs his stuff.
Amadi leans toward Rhu. "Oh, Kerrin, you're here. You need to ask?"
Amadi: Thief?
Why, yes, actually, I am.
But not of things.
Never of things.
Things are cheap. Things die. Fade. Change.
Amadi: Disappear.
Not things.
Amadi holds up the implement.
Amadi: This is wrong.
I've never seen it like this before.
Rhu: Who is Kerrin? And what is your name?
Amadi: You're Kerrin, of course!
And I'm... oh, I dunno.
The Gravedigger: Rhu is Kerrin? LIke... a play?
Amadi: No, that's not right. She was Dira.
The Gravedigger: People acting parts?
Rhu: I'm Rhu.
Amadi: I'm someone else.
Radek: What *do* you know?
Specifically, about the rift?
Amadi: Besides the atomic weight of tofu?
What rift?
Was there a rift?
Not Riften, I hope.
Or do you men The Rift?
Isn't that a county near Wyzima?
Amadi: Saleus Neloth.
Rhu: I'm not Kerrin. Who is Kerrin? Why did you call me that?
Amadi doesn't answer and just stares off into space, fiddling with the implement.
Radek: Nothing, then. Another victim of its influence, most likely.
Rhu: (to others) What's going on here? I'm Rhu.
Radek begins to tinker with his new eyebot.
Radek: Yes, you are.
The Gravedigger: Well, the little lady is crazy.
The porridge on the floor slowly draws itself back together and then squelch-bounces its way back to Greibel's shoulder.
Frezak (GM): Brb
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Greibel pets it
The porridge purrs.
Gaurav: You have the best porridge.
Bear Soup Guy: I sure do
Apheori (GM): >.>
Gaurav: Is anybody else around in the pub in the morning? Any villagers, the barkeep?
Apheori (GM): Barkeep is probably asleep. Everyone else has sodded off as well. Apparently this is just... normal?
Gaurav: This is as it was yesterday, yes. I hope those wacky villagers from the first morning swing by the bar at some point. They were fun.
Bear Soup Guy: I wonder if the big guy knows anything we should know
Ganelon: He is a mystery.
Bear Soup Guy: A conspicuous mystery
Apheori (GM): So...
Someone do something.
Greibel stands up abruptly and screams for a few seconds
Greibel sits back down and acts as if it didn't happen
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
Ganelon: I've just been waiting for Frezak.
Apheori (GM): I know. >.<
We all are. He's just slow and I'm impatient.
Amadi taps her nose and points at Greibel, then likewise acts as though nothing had happened.
Rhu: (to Amadi) So ... you're not Dira?
Amadi: Who's Dira?
Rhu: You just said you weren't Dira. "She was Dira", you said.
Amadi: Who was?
Rhu: You weren't clear on that point.
It sounds like you're not entirely sure what your name is. I -- It feels rude to refer to you as Sandwich Lady all the time. Do you not have any other name I could use?
Frezak (GM): back
Amadi: Of course I have other names. Don't be ridiculous.
Who goes around with only one name? Even waking, it'd be crazy!
Rhu: What may we call you, then?
Amadi: Call me Teatime.
Or Dave.
Or Amadi.
Or whatever!
Greibel: Hi Dave!
Amadi: Hi!
Greibel waves
The Gravedigger: Sure, Crazy lady.
Amadi waves.
Rhu: Teatime? Like ... a time for a drink with jam and bread?
Amadi: Not at all.
Like the time between liver and spleen. The time between notes when you wonder if you are alive or dead, dreaming or waking.
Rhu: Right. Miss ... Missus? ... Teatime, then.
Amadi: The time between the light, when you do not know whether this is daydream or nightmare, waking or dreaming.
Rhu: Would you like to come with us and see a rift?
Amadi: Is it pretty?
Radek: No, it's quite horrible.
Rhu: It's got a dead tree on it.
Amadi: Is it HER dead tree?
The Gravedigger: And some water.
Amadi: The dead tree behind the statue, perhaps?
Rhu: But that tree has a light tree growing on it, which we were hoping Greibel could have a poke at, since it might be druid magic.
The water's quite pretty, actually.
Radek: I have some of it.
Ganelon: I would ask if he learned anything about it, but he was drunk
Amadi: So if he did learn anything about it, it's up in the air if he actually remembers correctly? XD
Gaurav: I imagine Radek's quite a productive drunk.
Ganelon: Yes to both.
Rhu takes a step back from Amadi when she does here "XD" face
Ganelon: He not only built an eyebot but modified his rifle to use a straight-pull bolt for faster reloading.
Amadi: OOC
Ganelon: (This is to explain a feat I took)
Bear Soup Guy: Was it Dave?
Apheori (GM): That was me. Mistyping. Dave is... something else altogether.
Rhu: We should head out to the rift. Who knows when Mrs. Teatime will vanish again, and she might know something about it that eludes us.
The Gravedigger: If she does, how would we know?
Radek: Asking her seems out of the question.
Ganelon: See what I did there, guys?
Amadi: The question is the question.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Amadi: Ask, or you will never know.
The Gravedigger: yeah, that.
I don't think she's gonna be any use.
Greibel: Dave, will I ever find true love?
The Gravedigger: Just spouting endless Zens at us.
Amadi: Porridge knows, but nobody ever asks...
Amadi stops and looks at Greibel.
Rhu: She's the only thing on this planet that appears and disappears mysteriously on this planet, if you don't count the falling anvils.
Amadi: No.
I'm sorry, but no.
Greibel sulks
Rhu: She's a link to the weirdness of Sarathi. Possibly. Unless she's just weird of her own accord, which seems ... likely.
Amadi: It's for the best, really. The lovers hurt more than the rest.
The Gravedigger: But we can't get anything useful out of her.
Greibel: Are the lovers armed?
Rhu: Hang on. (to Amadi) What do you mean, Porridge knows? And it's not "Porridge", it's "Rasputin". It has a name.
Amadi: They can be armed.
Rhu: The rift might interact with her in interesting ways. Or vice versa. Anywho, we have a seat spare.
Amadi: The Gravedigger won't be.
The Gravedigger: What?
Amadi: With your love. He wanted love.
Amadi points at Greibel.
Amadi: Blame him.
Asking answers. He should be asking questions!
The Gravedigger: Nooo, I think i'll blame the crazy person that never makes sense.
Greibel: Hummm...
Amadi: Which one?
Sense can be made out of anything.
You just need a knife.
The Gravedigger: So, Radek.
What are we doing today?
Amadi: Or a shovel.
Gaurav: Good question.
The Gravedigger: Other than spectating.
Radek: We need to gather information.
Greibel whispers to Amadi "He's really a nice guy when you get to know him."
Rhu: We could poke around the village and look for someone who knows more about the trees and the rift and the pool. We thought yesterday that druid magic might be involved; someone might know the druid what done it.
Radek: If you think Greibel can be of use, it's only a short drive to the tree.
Greibel: (continuing) But Radek isn't. He really is that bad.
Amadi: (To Greibel) And will you say that about me someday too?
Radek: Nobody asked for your opinion, Greibel.
The Gravedigger: Might as well poke about here while we can, then.
Rhu: We could head back to the Rift and poke around a bit there. Or we could follow the dry river bank, where the DM assured us we were close to making an Important Discovery (I think?)
The Gravedigger: Though these willagers don't seem to be very useful.
Amadi: Willagers!
Greibel: (To Amadi) That depends. Do you like lava lamps?
Rhu: If we do that, we should pack some lunch, because this porridge is very inadequate (sorry for insulting the relatives, Rasputin)
Amadi counts off on her fingers.
Amadi: Six lava lamps, four screens, two potted trees, and a big old yucca.
Rhu: Well, we can talk to them now. And they're probably all superimpressed by Radek after his intravenous drinking last night.
Amadi: That wasn't me.
The Gravedigger: I'm not sure they understand the perils of intravenous drinking.
They probably don't understand what livers do.
The innkeeper walks in and sees the group.
The innkeeper: Oh, good morning.
The Gravedigger: Hello Miss Inkeep.
Rhu: They seemed impressed, especially the inn-- oh, hello!
Radek: You would think my technical skills would be more impressive, but no. All it takes to make this lot cheer is the capacity to endure alcohol.
The Gravedigger waves
Radek: Hmph.
The innkeeper waves vaguely and heads into another room.
Rhu: Wait! Do you know any druids around here?
The innkeeper looks back.
The innkeeper: Druids?
If you mean the Guardians, we've only Ekka.
Bear Soup Guy: I thought the inkeep didn't speak our language >_<
The innkeeper: She lives down the way if you need a consult.
The innkeeper ducks out of the common room.
Apheori (GM): Hazz'ridan blessed you with sanity.
This included language stuff, apparently.
Frezak (GM): GM, do we know what 'down the way' means or do we have to bother her for details?
Gaurav: You'd have to be inSANE not to understand these people!
Apheori (GM): Let's just say you know.
Frezak (GM): Hokay.
Well, that sounds like a plan.
Apheori (GM): Well, yes, Hazz'ridan's version of sanity may not be QUITE what other people have in mind...
Rhu: Agreed. To Ekka's! (to Amadi) Are you coming?
Amadi: Are you going?
Rhu: I am.
Amadi: Well, go on then.
Rhu nods
Rhu: We'll see you later.
Gaurav: Shall we?
Radek: Much later, I should hope.
Frezak (GM): TO EKKA
Greibel: Have fun, Dave!
Greibel waves
Amadi follows, still fiddling with Rhu's implement, holding it up to the light, turning it over, trying to figure it out. "This is wrong," she mutters. "It shouldn't be this."
Rhu leaves the bar and starts walking in the direction indicated/suggested by the innkeep, whose name we also need to figure out at some point.
Frezak (GM): Yarr.
I do a similar thing.
Ganelon: No arguments here.
Greibel: Off to the Guardian's place!
Apheori (GM): So I guess y'll head outside, see some folks working on a wagon, see those two guys from before laughing the others on, see the house...
Gaurav: The Guardian's house?
Apheori (GM): Right.
Greibel: http://gyazo.com/d92f703dd50cdb0cdcbeeb4e8437c92c.png
Rhu knocks on the door.
Bear Soup Guy: err, obviously Greibel didn't link a screenshot >_<
Greibel sings "You keep-a knockin' but you caaaaan't come in!"
Ganelon: Is his singing correct?
Can we not come in?
Bear Soup Guy: Little Richard is always correct
But seeing as this is a different universe...
Apheori (GM): The door is shut. Do you go in?
Is that a thing here?
Do you knock? There's not beeper...
Gaurav: I am sure there is a Little Richard in this universe also.
Rhu knocks again.
Apheori (GM): A what?
Bear Soup Guy: Somewhere
Bear Soup Guy gestures at the night sky
Apheori (GM): Oh, ghah, missed the first knock, sorry.
Well, nothing happens from knocking.
Frezak (GM): I CHARGE THE DO- knock again.
Rhu: ... something tells me that before we just walk into a house belonging to somebody called a Guardian, it might be wise to check for booby traps
Greibel: Hey now
Apheori (GM): Amadi pushes past, taps the implement to the door, and then opens it and goes in.
Greibel: I'm a Guardian and I've never trapped anyone's boobies
Frezak (GM): I will activate my 18 Con lungs.
Apheori (GM): There's a clunk from somewhere inside.
Then a startled yell.
Frezak (GM): What kind of clunk?
Apheori (GM): Like someone falling on the floor.
Then you hear Amadi.
Since she already charged in.
"Hello, Guardian person, good morning, good day, good morrow, can we borrow your wisdom please?"
Frezak (GM): Oh.
I'll try the door >.>
Greibel pats Gravy
Greibel: It was a good try
The Gravedigger: Thanks, Greibel.
Apheori (GM): You find Amadi standing over someone who appears to have half-fallen out of bed. It's the magic woman from when you first arrived.
Frezak (GM): magic woman?
Apheori (GM): The woman who did some magic.
She has magic.
Frezak (GM): What magic?
Bear Soup Guy: From the first time we met Amadi
She did a spell thing when we were in CAR
Frezak (GM): What spell?
Ganelon: It made Amadi appear. Maybe.
That may have been a coincidence.
Gaurav: Search for "The woman starts gesturing and chanting, casting a spell you don't recognise." in the log if you want to go over that bit again.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, I thought Amadi just popped in by being Amadi.
Gaurav: She kind of got upstaged by Amadi unfortunately. I don't think we even spoke to her after Amadi showed up, and once she vanished, we just went into the inn without even saying goodbye. She must think we're rude.
Apheori (GM): And now she must think you're really rude.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Rhu: We apologize for Mrs. Teatime there, Guardian Ekka. She's ... enthusiastic.
Ekka: What...
Ekka picks herself up and glares down at Amadi.
Ekka: What are you doing in my house?
Rhu: No, it's morning. Breakfasttime. But that is Mrs. Teatime. (gestures)
Amadi: Asking answers.
Do you have them? They think you have them. I don't think they do.
Ekka: Right.
What do you need?
Well, no.
First, let me get dressed. Out, all of you.
Frezak (GM): I'll slink out.
Rhu: ... did any of us bother to take a photograph of the rift? Maybe Radek has something from the camera on his eye-robot thing?
Frezak (GM): As much as I can.
Ganelon: I doubt it would come equipped with the ability to take photos.
Maybe this new one. Then again, it may just spit out confetti or serve as an emergency disco ball.
Gaurav: ...
I am going to be so disappointed if we don't need to use an emergency disco ball sometime in this campaign.
Ekka: With Greibel involved, that may only be the beginning of strangeness.
Frezak (GM): When someone scores a crit.
Gaurav: Emergency disco balls in a field of marijuana.
The villain is dispatched in a cloud of blood and guts as sparkling confetti rains from the sky.
Ganelon: Even if it's not designed to do that, all it would take is a well-cut prism and the laser could make a... considerably more dangerous disco ball in a pinch.
Bear Soup Guy: Timothy Leary just twitched in his grave
Pleasure twitch
Gaurav: I don't know who you are, or where you come from, but you've done me a power of good.
Ganelon: So just find me some nice transparent solid like class and I'll get right on that.
Glass, even.
Frezak (GM): I have bottles.
Ganelon: I'd probably need them to be glass all the way through
Gaurav: Is Ekka done getting dressed yet?
Apheori (GM): Ekka comes out onto the porch, followed by Amadi, who you realise didn't actually leave before.
Ekka: Okay, what?
Gaurav: Who wants to make with the explaining?
Frezak (GM): Rhu or Radek.
Maybe Rhu.
He's not mad or rude.
Gaurav: Hahaha, okay. Feel free to interrupt.
Rhu: Guardian Ekka: we come from Sarathi, through paths unclear. We have been investigating the rift that lurks under the large dead tree near here. On the tree, we spied a small tree alight with light which appeared to be guarding the rift. Or against it.
Do any of these things make sense to you? Because we are fair flummoxed.
We also sent a robot through the rift. It saw a beach and Sarathi and what looks like a huge rift 'twixt universes. I don't know what we can do about that, but my lord Hazz'ridan the Wonderful demands that we close it, on this planet at least, so that is what we aim to do.
Ekka: You mean the hole? With the really big tree over it.
The Gravedigger: Very flummoxed.
Amadi: Wonderful!
Rhu: That's the one.
Amadi: Oh, he is wonderful. Wonderful like you wouldn't believe.
Really, I do want to see if you believe it.
See it with eyes.
Never seen it with eyes.
Rhu: He gave us our sanity yesterday right before we were destroyed by the forces of darkness that lurked in the pool of water that the rift is immersed in.
Ekka: What do you want me to do, explain the world to you?
Rhu: He is truly Wonderful.
The Gravedigger: That would be great.
Radek: Yes, I would appreciate that.
Ekka sighs tiredly.
Ekka: I don't know where you lot are from, but around these parts things don't exactly work that way.
I'll spell this out for you.
We... don't... know.
The Gravedigger: Well that's no fun.
Ekka: The hole appeared.
The land died.
Rhu: When was that?
Ekka: Well, died more than usual. Summers always kill it.
But it didn't come back this time.
Three years past.
Salt's kept the town going since, but the water's toxic. Nothing grows, except what grows wrong.
And strangers come through from time to time. Mostly harmless, some mad, some confused, but they don't hunger for the land here, at least.
Ganelon: Which direction did we follow that river? North?
Ekka: Sure, why not. North and east.
Apheori (GM): OOC.
Gaurav: What direction is the rift from the village?
Apheori (GM): More south, probably.
Unless I specified.
Radek: We found safe water far to the northeast.
Or, apparently safe.
These three seem healthy enough.
Ekka: Aye, the effect is fortunately relatively localised.
For now, at least.
If Sanessee is any indication, this may not remain the case.
Rhu: Why are there no children in this town?
Ekka: The children... are gone.
They were the most susceptible, and before we realised what was happening...
Sanessee has another such hole, though different. Opened up some 200 years ago, and slowly grew ever since.
Broke the land.
And spreading.
rolling 1d20+3 history check to see if "Sanessee" rings any bells in my head
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Radek: Would it happen to have opened up near a beach?
Apheori (GM): Sanessee is a valley in the Darian highlands.
Ekka: Sanessee is a valley in the Darian highlands.
Apheori (GM): Ghuh.
Rhu writes all this down
Ekka: So no.
Radek: We're looking for a way to close these holes... or vacate the planet, if you know of one.
Ekka: Close them? You might as well look for a way to move an ocean.
Amadi: You can move oceans.
Hide mountains.
Close black holes.
These holes don't seem black.
Unless they are.
Radek: Consider yourself fortunate that they are not.
Amadi: Anything's possible.
Radek: We would all be obliterated.
Rhu: I think they're kind of ... shimmery.
Ekka: Well, if you find a way, that'd be something.
Don't expect anyone to hold their breath.
Amadi: I made a shimmery once. It looked a little like this.
Amadi holds up Rhu's implement.
Amadi: Wrong.
Gaurav: I should warn everybody that I should leave for class in, like, 45-50 mins or so. Sorry for always being the first one out >.<
Bear Soup Guy: No worries
We were planning about a four hour or so session anyway, weren't we?
Apheori (GM): Right.
Rhu: Thank you for this information, Guardian Ekka. Alas, our departure seems indefinitely postponed due to my God's insistence that we find a way to close this hole. With his help, we shall surely move an ocean.
Gaurav: I don't think we're going to get much more information from the villagers. Should we go take another look at the rift, or head straight to the end of the dry river bank?
Frezak (GM): Well she seems to think it's not the river that's the problem but the earth itself.
And I don't know what we could get from the rift.
Unless Radek has some new science idea.
Oh, ask her about the tree(s)
Ganelon: I have no science ideas.
Rhu: Was the tree dead before the hole appeared? When did the litte tree start growing on the big one?
Ekka: The Ancient?
Frezak (GM): We'd need to find out what is powering the rift.
Ekka: Which tree?
Rhu: Tell us about both trees.
Ekka: What trees?
Gaurav: We could try hitting the rift with energy and see what happens.
Ekka: The Ancient is a legend, said to die with the passing of the world. But you're asking about a real tree, aren't you?
Rhu: The large tree growing on the rift, and the little tree growing on the large tree.
Frezak (GM): Not sure about firing a laser at the rift >.>
Maybe from really far.
Rhu: We could try physically blocking it with something ... no, it'd just get disintegrated, wouldn't it. Hm.
Radek: Would you like us to simply take you there?
It would hardly require much time. We have a vehicle capable of flight.
Frezak (GM): Well, if the rift just relocates stuff rather than.. disintegrated it, I would just collapse the sinkhole.
Ekka: Oh, that tree...
It's been dead as long as anyone remembers.
Rest were fine before this, but now they all look the same.
Rhu: Hmm, I wonder if the rift chose it, then. And why ...
Ekka: The silly graft Hodgesons put there is still alive?
Rhu: Ah! That sounds like the little tree I was talking about. What's that all about?
Gaurav: DO all the trees look the same? Like, do they all look dead or do they all look *identically* dead?
Ekka: Shalott. What else?
Apheori (GM): They just all look dead.
Dried out.
Rhu: Shalott?
Ekka: You haven't tried it? Our gal makes... well, I wouldn't say it's the best, but it's certainly strong. She came back from the big city and really made a place for herself, that one.
Probably half the reason most of the folks are still here. Too drunk to leave.
Rhu: Ah. I know that feeling. So why did Hodgesons put a graft on the big tree? And who is he? Or she?
Ekka: Genri Hodgeson's boys. They were drunk, thought it'd be funny.
Nobody expected it to survive, of course, but they had a bit of magic what made it work.
Radek: What is it supposed to do?
Ekka: Do?
It was a prank!
At least I think it was a prank.
Probably a prank.
Rhu: It seems to be ... interacting with the rift somehow. Do you know where the pool of water that the rift is immersed in comes from?
Ekka: You mean besides groundwater?
Rain was sparse even before, but the land has its own water.
Rhu: It ... vanished of its own accord yesterday. And then reappeared. And the rift seemed to be scared of it. If rifts can know fear.
Ekka: Which, conveniently, all got poisoned.
Vanished, eh?
Did you magic it somehow?
Rhu: Nope. Well. The paladin fell in. He was maybe a bit magical.
Ekka: Fell in?
That's dangerous magic. Dark.
Amadi: He's not dead, you know. Not here, but not dead.
Rhu: Yay!
Amadi: Or does dead just mean 'not here'?
Are you dead? Are you here?
Fuzzy little world.
The Gravedigger: In my experience dead is lying at the bottom of the hole.
And not getting out.
Amadi: How strange for you.
Ekka snorts.
Radek: Looks like we're going back to investigate.
Rhu: Would you like to come with us to the rift? Perhaps you can tell us something about the dark magic of the mysterious pool.
The Gravedigger: Let's throw random things at it and see what happens.
Rhu: That is a most excellent plan.
Ekka: Argh, really?
You barge into my house, you interrogate me, and now you want to kidnap me too? Is there no end?
The Gravedigger: Who talked about kidnapping?
Is everyone in this place insane?
Rhu: ...
The Gravedigger: Come on, guys.
I don't see us finding anything useful here.
Everyone is just mental.
Ekka: I'm kidding.
Dunno what good it'll do you.
Amadi: It's a different Hazz. That's what's wrong.
This one's a different one.
I mean, it's all Hazz, but there's different heads. Like a spider.
But what's wrong about it?
The oranges?
Rhu: Oranges?
The Gravedigger sighs.
Amadi: Purple ones.
The Gravedigger: Let's just go fire lasers at the rift or something.
Standing here talking to the mad midget isn't gonna help us solve this.
Radek: Agreed.
Rhu: Completely agree with heading to the rift. I think we should bring these two along, though I'm willing to be overruled.
The Gravedigger: What for?
Drop the midget in and see what happens?
SHe has some form of teleportation or space-bending power.
Radek: I've heard worse ideas.
The Gravedigger: Come on, little lady.
Rhu waves vaguely and mutter something about insight and perception checks
The Gravedigger: Let's go do some hole science.
Frezak (GM): I don't see what I'd perceive and my insight sucks.
Gaurav: No, I meant they might have higher insight and perception than us. Or history, for that matter. Since we've already looked at it; instead of looking at it again, we should get other people to look at it. It might do nothing, in which case we're right back where we started, but it might help.
Frezak (GM): I have banging perception, man.
I can roll +19 every 5 minutes.
Gaurav: WOAH
Amadi: I've done hole science. Wound up sinking the city.
Frezak (GM): And Rp-wise, the old woman doesn't seem to know anything or particularly want to help.
And Amadi.. well. >.>
She just gibbering.
Gaurav: well, then, leave them behind and go see what these level 2 eyes can see?
Frezak (GM): Yeah
Gaurav: Rhu is religious, he's fascinated by people who gibber.
Frezak (GM): And try some more active stuff with the rift.
Lasers, magic....
Gaurav: And I personally find their gibbering entertaining, but maybe that's just me.
Apheori (GM): Mind your time.
Frezak (GM): It's entertaining, but not helping our characters get anywhere.
Gaurav: Hee I'm on it
Frezak (GM): Gravy has a job to do. he'd like to get it done.
Gaurav: Counting down all the things I need to push to 4:45pm instead of doing them now >.>
fair enough
Ganelon: Onwards, then?
Frezak (GM): Yarr
Ganelon: I don't think our solution will be found at the rift itself, but clues... perhaps.
Frezak (GM): Yarr.
Rhu: Thank you for your help, Guardian Ekka and Mrs. Teatime. We shall head to the rift ourselves, see what we can learn, and report back to you when we can. Thank you for your help!
Rhu shakes everybody's hand and heads to CAR
Ekka: Uh-huh.
Frezak (GM): I'm just gonna clomp out.
Ganelon: Likewise.
Amadi follows.
Ganelon: No farewells. Just grumbling.
Gaurav: Okay, that's time for me, I'm afraid! Sorry to bail out. If you keep going, remember that you get +1 perception when within 5 spaces of Rhu, and that I can do 1d20+12 perception checks or 1d20+8 religion (including half-levels)
Frezak (GM): Oh, so... +20 perception then.
Apheori (GM): We should call it. I need to pack and stuff.
Frezak (GM): righ
Gaurav: okay
Bear Soup Guy: Adios!
Apheori (GM): Should we do tuesday?
Frezak (GM): Provisionally.
I don't know what I'm doing next Tuesday yet.
Bear Soup Guy: I'll probably be free
Ganelon: I almost certainly will.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Let's aim for that, then. And if it's a no, just... let everyone know or something.
Frezak (GM): I'll probably know before this week is done.