Holes/Session 53/raw

From Zaori
5:37PM    Apheori (GM):  Okay.
I just cleared the chat.

Apheori (GM) whistls.

5:38PM    Apheori (GM):  And the Merr stepped out to get bread.
And I should plug this thing in.
BUT ANYWAY.

5:38PM    Ganelon:  But anyway.

5:39PM    Apheori (GM):  Where even were we?

5:39PM    Gaurav:  Rhu was making nice with his god. Yes, the large-breasted one.

5:40PM    Apheori (GM):  Also bear in mind that I got like three hours of sleep last night, so this may not even be coherent.
It was a weird trip full of unexpected customs and stuff.
Okay, so Rhu and Hazz are all happy...

5:41PM    Frezak (GM):  Rhu is always happy.
Nothing but nice things happen to him.

5:42PM    Apheori (GM):  Oh, everyone was assaulting Gravy.
Apparently.

5:42PM    Gaurav:  We were?

5:43PM    Apheori (GM):  Well, Amadi and someone were. But he's fine.
It had moved onto Rhu now.
ASSAULTING RHU.
There are chocolate buttons right next to me. o_O

5:44PM    Gaurav:  Oh right. Amadi was gazing into his eyes and discovered that Rhu was a walking dead end.
Rhu was standing frozen in place hoping she would try to lick his face or something.

5:45PM    Ganelon:  ...Hoping?

5:46PM    Gaurav:  wouldn't*
Err.

5:46PM    Apheori (GM):  While this is going on, is anyone paying attention to Greibel?

5:47PM    Ganelon:  Radek is probably thanking his squid and hoping nobody else catches him doing it.

5:47PM    Gaurav:  Hee.

5:47PM    Apheori (GM):  Gravy notices.

5:47PM    Frezak (GM):  Gravy notices.
Gravy sees all.
HAH

5:48PM    Apheori (GM):  Yes.

5:48PM    Ganelon:  Well I haven't got a smokescreen to deploy or anything of the sort, unfortunately.

5:49PM    Apheori (GM):  It's okay. Gravy probably understands anyway.
So is Gravy the only one paying attention to Greibel on account of his generally paying attention to everything?
I NEED TO KNOW.

5:50PM    Gaurav:  Will a passive perception of 25 do it?

5:50PM    Apheori (GM):  Sure, whatever.

5:50PM    Gaurav:  Probably with a penalty for having an Amadi poking at his eye.

5:51PM    Apheori (GM):  Except you're getting godlinged.
So you can't easily do much about it.

5:51PM    Gaurav:  Yup. Rhu will remain petrified in place &c.
What's Hazz' doing at this point? That's probably who Rhu will be watching apart from Amadi.

5:54PM    Amadi:  Open your mouth and say "Aaaa."

5:55PM    Frezak (GM):  Gravy stands beatifically in the middle of chaos.
He is a ROCK in this ocean of MADNESS
And not a rock smeared in sirens, mind you.

5:56PM    Ganelon:  We could fix that.

5:57PM    Rhu:  Aaaa ... look, can you get off my face?

Amadi peers into Rhu's ear.

5:58PM    Amadi:  No. Keep saying "Aaaaa." Move on to B in a bit.

5:58PM    Apheori (GM):  Gravy: You notice Greibel seems to be talking to someone. Except there's nobody there.

5:59PM    Rhu:  Aaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbwwwwhaat you are doing?

5:59PM    Apheori (GM):  Rhu: You probably notice a bit of this too.

5:59PM    (To Amadi):  It's a Gravy-shaped porridge.

Amadi pokes Rhu in the nose.

6:01PM    Rhu:  Huh. Look, I'm a qualified first aid person and I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, so if you don't mind ...
rolling d20+3 athletics check to push Amadi off
( 13 ) +3 = 16

6:01PM    Frezak (GM):  I think Greibel talking to nothing we can see is pretty normal, though.

6:02PM    Apheori (GM):  Is Kyrule there?
I totally forgot.

6:02PM    Gaurav:  I don't think she came back from Midnight with Amadi and Gravy.

6:02PM    Ellemerr:  What's that against?

6:02PM    Apheori (GM):  Frezak, Gan. Halp.

6:03PM    Ganelon:  It's not a normal rules situation.
But I'd say fortitude.

6:03PM    Frezak (GM):  I think Kyrule stayed back in Concept Land

6:04PM    Ellemerr:  It hits fortitude.

Amadi falls over.

Rhu is surprised at his own strength.

6:05PM    Rhu:  Oh, oops, sorry ... here, let me help you up ...

6:05PM    Ganelon:  Remember that Amadi is light as a feather.

6:05PM    Gaurav:  Oh, right. I keep forgetting.

6:06PM    Ganelon:  Radek's an old man and he could probably juggle several copies of her.

6:06PM    Gaurav:  The canteen I'm in has inexplicably filled up with children and it's very weird.

6:06PM    Apheori (GM):  Would you like several copies?

6:06PM    Ganelon:  No.

Squirrel peers curiously over Radek's shoulder.

6:06PM    Ganelon:  One is quite enough trouble.

6:06PM    Apheori (GM):  Uh, too bad.

6:06PM    Gaurav:  btw, logs confirm that Kyrule didn't return. It's apparently why Hazz' is sticking around.

Amadi is helped up. She continues to crawl onto Rhu's shoulder, inspecting his hair.

Rhu gives up and lets Amadi do what she likes, batting at her when she starts fiddling with his face.

6:09PM    Apheori (GM):  Right.

Radek is holding his tablet. Complex diagrams fill the screen. He slowly turns his head in Squirrel's direction, narrowing his eyes menacingly.

6:09PM    Apheori (GM):  She just sat down for some reason.

Amadi starts braiding the hair.

6:09PM    Apheori (GM):  I wish I knew what was going through that lady's head.
She's a real finn sometimes.

6:10PM    Radek:  ...
''Yes?''

6:11PM    Frezak (GM):  Gravy peers over Squirrel's should.
*shoulder
thing

6:12PM    Squirrel:  You should tilt it.
rolling 1d20 + 10 arcana to make sense
( 4 ) +10 = 14

6:12PM    Apheori (GM):  It's nonsense.

6:13PM    Ganelon:  Obviously, these diagrams plot the chemical balance of Cinnamon Toast Crunch in an attempt to understand its addictive effects upon children below the age of 13.
He's getting close to figuring it out.

6:14PM    Frezak (GM):  Dammit, Radek.
I thought you were a scienceman

6:14PM    Ganelon:  I'm joking, man, it's actually more Hole stuff.

6:15PM    Frezak (GM):  JOKES?
I don't know you any more.

Radek swats at Squirrel with his free hand.

6:16PM    Radek:  Begone. Your advice would be unnecessary even if it ''wasn't''
utter nonsense.

6:17PM    The Gravedigger:  She could be saying something metaphorical that's actually very wise and smart, just beyond our natural scope of language.

The Gravedigger squints.

6:18PM    The Gravedigger:  Wait, no, that's the red one.
Forget it.

6:18PM    Squirrel:  The squirrels live in the tree and only walk from place to place as needed. They fall out sometimes.

6:18PM    Radek:  Mm.

Radek nods.

6:18PM    Ganelon:  That was directed at Gravy.
Amadi and Dawn are occasionally insightful, it's true.

6:19PM    Radek:  Are you well, Gravedigger? I understand that you died for a moment, there.

Radek keeps his attention on the tablet.

6:20PM    The Gravedigger:  Transcending the bounds of mortality is a piddling feat when one has bisected reality itself.
Oooh, lunchtime.

6:21PM    Radek:  You should try to avoid doing that. Leads to situations like this one.

6:21PM    The Gravedigger:  Sandwich lady! Lunch!

6:21PM    Apheori (GM):  Meanwhile Greibel seems to be getting into a relatively heated argument with the... whatever he's talking to.
It involves a sentence with more than one clause in it.
I mean, he uses one.

6:22PM    Frezak (GM):  What, he's discussing legal contracts?

6:22PM    Apheori (GM):  No, I mean he phrases a sentence different... nevermind.

Rhu will walk up to Greibel and listen in.

6:22PM    Apheori (GM):  HE ALMOST SOUNDS SERIOUS.
But only almost.
Or something.
Nevermind.
Greibel holds out a pile of drugs.

6:24PM    Gaurav:  To Rhu? Or to the nothing he's talking to?

6:25PM    Ganelon:  Either way you oughta be like "For MEEEEE?"

6:25PM    Apheori (GM):  To the nothing.
It might be vaguely in your direction, though.

6:26PM    Rhu:  Um, thanks?

Rhu pockets the drugs.

6:28PM    Rhu:  (to Hazz/Midoriki) Should we keep going, then?

6:29PM    Apheori (GM):  When you take the drugs, the shadows surrounding your bubble of leap out at you and attack.
Everyone do an intitiative. There's only going to be one round here; whatever you do will either count or not, or REALLY not, which could be hilarious.

Rhu quickly tries to hand the drugs back.

6:30PM    Rhu:  rolling d20+6 initiative
( 11 ) +6 = 17

6:30PM    Amadi:  rolling 1d20 + 3
( 19 ) +3 = 22
6:30PM    Apheori (GM):  rolling 1d20 + 3 squirrel
( 7 ) +3 = 10

6:31PM    Frezak (GM):  rolling 1D20+3
( 1 ) +3 = 4
Wheeeee

6:31PM    Ganelon:  rolling 1d20+3
( 16 ) +3 = 19

6:31PM    Frezak (GM):  I'm thinkin' about lunch, darnit.

6:31PM    Apheori (GM):  Lunch? O_o
You have all those sausages!

6:32PM    Frezak (GM):  Dying makes for a fearsome hunger!

6:33PM    Gaurav:  How many shadows tried to jump us? Or is it just a large vague approaching mass of shadow?

6:33PM    Apheori (GM):  Do surprise rounds work the same way here as they do in pathfinder?

6:33PM    Frezak (GM):  It's one action.

6:34PM    Apheori (GM):  Okay.
I totally just nearly zonked out.
rolling 1d20 + 9 vs rhu fort
( 6 ) +9 = 15

6:37PM    Gaurav:  My fort is 15, so that's a ... miss?

6:38PM    Frezak (GM):  A tie hits.

6:38PM    Gaurav:  ... hit.

6:39PM    Apheori (GM):  Rhu got attacked by a shadow and his shadows fade.
This does some stuff and things.
I'm going to get some soup and rephrase that.

6:40PM    Gaurav:  With everything that's happened to him, it's a wonder he has any shadows left.

6:42PM    Apheori (GM):  What I should have said is there is a horrible tearing at his soul and Rhu is, uh, slowed or something. For a few rounds.

6:42PM    Gaurav:  Any damage?

6:43PM    Apheori (GM):  Oh, right. Attacks usually do damage.
Uh.
rolling 1d4 + 2
( 3 ) +2 = 5
THERE.
DAMAGE.
That was pitiful.

6:44PM    Gaurav:  Weak shadows.

6:45PM    Apheori (GM):  ACTUAL ROUND BEGINS NOW.
Order: Amadi, Hazz, Radek, Shadows, Rhu, Squirrel, Gravy.
You are... surrounded by 8 shadows.

6:46PM    Gaurav:  Yes, good, let the gods go first.

6:46PM    Apheori (GM):  All coming in from the border of the light.
The nearest two are by Rhu/Greibel.
I'll, uh, put them on the map.

6:51PM    Gaurav:  What is the porridge's initiative?

6:51PM    Apheori (GM):  We don't know.

6:53PM    Frezak (GM):  The speed of oats.

Amadi takes a bowl of soup out of her pocket and throws it at a random shadow.

6:53PM    Amadi:  rolling 1d20 + 6
( 6 ) +6 = 12

Amadi misses wildly.

6:54PM    The Gravedigger:  (In slowmo)
Mmmmyyyyy luuuuuunch

6:55PM    Gaurav:  Ha!

6:56PM    Apheori (GM):  Amadi
's soup hits Hazz in the bakc of the head.

Amadi snickers.

6:57PM    Apheori (GM):  Hazz very deliberately reaches up and wipes the soup off
.
Then he grabs the shadow next to him nad hurls it at Amadi's face.
What happens next is, uh, entirely up to you.

Amadi attempts to catch and eat the shadow.

6:59PM    Amadi:  rolling 1d20 + 10
( 7 ) +10 = 17

6:59PM    Apheori (GM):  Amadi catches the shadow and winds up shredding it in an attempt to eat it.

6:59PM    Ellemerr:  Aaaw

6:59PM    Apheori (GM):  Radek: You're up.

7:00PM    Ganelon:  One sec.
...Quite a lot of these things, huh?

7:08PM    Apheori (GM):  They seem to be fairly weak.
OR something.
It's all relative.

7:09PM    Ganelon:  I'll just do a regular rifle shot on... this'n.
(Rifle Weapon Attack Rolling 1d20+3+5+2+1+1 = ( 5 )+3+5+2+1+1 = 17)

7:09PM    Apheori (GM):  Miiiisses.
Wait, no, that hits.
Sorry, I can't think.

7:10PM    Ganelon:  rolling 1d10+7
( 5 ) +7 = 12
And if it's still alive, next person to attack it gets a +2.
To hit.

7:11PM    Apheori (GM):  It splits into two shadows.

7:11PM    Gaurav:  Um.

7:12PM    Frezak (GM):  Goody!

7:13PM    Apheori (GM):  They're each like half size.
Anything else?

7:13PM    Ganelon:  Nah.

7:14PM    Apheori (GM):  Shadows, then.
The two split shadows try to recoalesce and explode with a loud pop.
Amadi starts fizzing.

7:15PM    Gaurav:  Eeks!

7:15PM    Frezak (GM):  SHE IS LEMONADE

7:15PM    Apheori (GM):  Shadows next to Rhu attack him.
1d20 + 10 vs ac
rolling 1d20 + 10 vs ac
( 9 ) +10 = 19
rolling 1d20 + 10 vs ac
( 13 ) +10 = 23

7:18PM    Ellemerr:  Please play quicker. I'm watching Athyria falling asleep on my couch and that doesn't seem good.
I mean, it's a nice couch an all. Sheep'd.

7:18PM    Apheori (GM):  Guarav isn't responding, so Rhu gets knocked over and takes some damage.

7:18PM    Ellemerr:  It's the right place to fall asleep.

7:18PM    Frezak (GM):  IS SHE IN MY SPOT?

7:18PM    Gaurav:  Eeks sorry

7:18PM    Ellemerr:  But I'm not sure it's the right time.
Yes, Frezak, she kinda is.

7:19PM    Apheori (GM):  Other shadow moves up to invisible person Greibel was talking to.

7:19PM    Frezak (GM):  DAMN YOU NAAAAAMES

7:19PM    Apheori (GM):  Horrible noises ensue as the shadow is devoured.

Apheori (GM) collapses on Frezak.

7:19PM    Frezak (GM):  ...
I hope that's not an actual thing you do.

7:20PM    Apheori (GM):  Two other shadows attack Radek and Squirrel.
It's all lungy and stuff.

7:20PM    Frezak (GM):  You'll end up with perforations.

7:20PM    Gaurav:  I gave Rhu -5 damage. Hope that's okay.
7:20PM    Apheori (GM):  rolling 1d20 + 9 vs Radek fort
( 8 ) +9 = 17

7:20PM    Ganelon:  Hits.

7:20PM    Apheori (GM):  Radek is sickened or something.
Squirrel helpfully pukes on him.
The remaining shadow lunges for hazz and gets blasted.
Well, not blasted. Moth on a bugzapper.
You know.

7:21PM    Frezak (GM):  'Zot'

7:22PM    Apheori (GM):  Rhu, turn. Go.

7:22PM    Gaurav:  Move action: stand up.
Standard action: Sequestering strike against the shadow next to Greibel. It's a melee attack so no attack of opportunity.
rolling d20+10 vs AC
( 19 ) +10 = 29

7:24PM    Apheori (GM):  Totally.

7:24PM    Gaurav:  rolling 4d6+5 damage
( 4 + 6 + 6 + 2 ) +5 = 23
Hee.
Is it still alive?

7:25PM    Apheori (GM):  It goes splat. Literally.
You're splattered with bits of shadow.
They feel like candy.

7:25PM    Gaurav:  Darnit. It has a nice teleport thing, but I don't suppose there's anything left to teleport.
It -> the attack
oh well

7:25PM    Frezak (GM):  Shadowguts.

7:25PM    Gaurav:  No, I attacked the other one. The one next to Greibel.
Minor: Oath of enmity against the shadow next to me
And done.

7:28PM    Apheori (GM):  Squirrel turns into a gaint crabby thing and claws the one next to her to shreds, then turns around and pukes on Radek some more.

7:28PM    Gaurav:  Poor Radek.

7:28PM    Frezak (GM):  Could be worse.

7:28PM    Ganelon:  Siiigh/

7:28PM    Apheori (GM):  Now he's got godling puke and demonic godling puke.

7:28PM    Frezak (GM):  At least it's not singing puke.

7:29PM    Apheori (GM):  The puke starts singing.

7:29PM    Frezak (GM):  Yes!
Gravy harmonizes

7:30PM    Gaurav:  Such wonderful music.

7:30PM    Ellemerr:  Amadi joins in, doing the... I wish I knew English singing terms now. I don't think it's called the "other voice".
It's not the harmony, though; it's another track.

7:32PM    Frezak (GM):  Barbershop... triad.

7:32PM    Apheori (GM):  Uh, Gravy, do stuff.
More stuff.
Awesome stuff.
THE GRAVE GOD.

7:33PM    Frezak (GM):  Gravy directs the singing into a blast of discord, and tries to scrub the shadowthing from this reality.
Via the application of a shovel.
rolling 1D20+11
( 18 ) +11 = 29
AC
I'll assume that's a hit.
rolling 2D10+6
( 1 + 3 ) +6 = 10

7:34PM    Frezak (GM):  And the shadow has... -5 to melee attacks.

7:35PM    Apheori (GM):  The shadow turns inside out and doesn't split or die.

7:36PM    Frezak (GM):  Also it's marked.
And Gravy ends his turn.
Still humming a malevolent tune.

7:46PM    Apheori (GM):  Ellemerr is your new dm.
Enjoy.

Apheori (GM) passes out.

Amadi leads the song into a violent climax, making the shadows shimmer and grow. And grow... and grow... Eventually, they become a sort of dark cloud hanging over everything. Then it starts raining.

Amadi pulls a large umbrella out of her pocket, opens it, and motions for everyone to gather 'round.

7:46PM    Gaurav:  Good night, Apheori!

Rhu gathers around.

7:47PM    Frezak (GM):  Gravy... sort of crouches to get under the 'brella.

7:47PM    Gaurav:  We could stick the umbrella on one of Gravy's horns

7:47PM    Ellemerr:  Wonderful. You have all done well. Keep standing under the umbrella.
We'll be back in a week.
Have fun.
Sweet nightmares y'all.

7:48PM    Gaurav:  Sounds like a plan. Good night, Ellemerr!