Holes/Session 50/raw

From Zaori
Or campers or whatever the hell it was I meant to say.
Frezak (GM): Ptarmigan!
Apheori (GM): YES.
Ganelon: It's the afternoon here.
Probably the evening for you lot.
Apheori (GM): Well, yes.
That's kind of not the point.
Ganelon: We were ready to go to a hole.
Apheori (GM): You're by the tree with a god. Gravy just buried another god. You were going to go to a hole.
Gaurav: Does the buried god get a tombstone?
Apheori (GM): Apparently Kyrule wants to leave Dawn with the tree so she can act as an anchor.
Kyrule: Huh?
Frezak (GM): I do graves, not tombstones;
THat's my other character, the Engravesman
Gaurav: Hee.
Tree: I got this, guys. I'll tell anyone who cares he's there.
I am a GREAT tombstone.
Gaurav: Did Gravy ever Gravyvision the gods?
Tree: Like that big dark thing buried even deeper, I mark that like nobody's business.
The Gravedigger: Thanks, Tree.
Frezak (GM): I don't think so, Gaurav.
Kyrule: You're supposed to be guarding that, not marking it.
Tree: Yeah, yeah, it's all bugs.
Rhu: ... big dark thing?
Tree: Oh, you know. It's big. And dark. And all that.
Huge, like.
Apheori (GM): Are Dawn and Amadi still hiding?
Dawn's probably just doing whatever Amadi is. I don't remember.
Rhu gives everybody a "huh?" look. It is probably indistinguishable from his usual expression.
Bear Soup Guy: It would be amazing if Amadi and Dawn talked and acted in perfect unison for a while for now reason
We could call them AmaDawn
Ellemerr: Oh, no. Pretending all this is perfectly natural. Probably by eating ice-cream.
Bear Soup Guy: s/now/no
Apheori (GM): Man, now I really don't want to leave Dawn behind.
Because that would be awesome.
Radek: ...Guarding, you say.
From outsiders, or for the sake of outsiders?
Kyrule: Yes.
Radek smirks.
Ganelon: You might think that's a cryptic answer, but it explains everything!
Tree: Well, you know. They buried it, they forgot about it, they pretended it was never there.
Pretty easy when the entire history got rewrote, that.
Apheori (GM): Yes@
Rhu: Who buried ... what? Exactly?
Greibel: Oh come on, Rhu. Keep up, man.
The big horrible thing.
Tree: Yeaah, man, you'll...
Apheori (GM): The tree gets interrupted.
I need to figure out by what.
Hold on.
Kyrule interrupts telling the tree to stop talking now.
Kyrule: Stop talking, please.
Kyrule waggles hands.
Rhu: (to Greibel) What big horrible thing? We have enough big horrible things. We don't need more big horrible things.
Greibel: That's why they buried it, man.
Rhu: Oh.
Frezak (GM): Greibel is so fucking WISE
Amadi takes a sip of tea and tells whoever's closest - probably Dawn - that yes, Kyrule is still being terribly rude. Some people just never change. And gods are the worst. It goes with the job; having to represent things and stuff.
Apheori (GM): Man, I dunno if I'm playing Kyrule completely wrong now, or more accurately.
Dawn: (to Amadi) So what do we represent?
Apheori (GM): Greibel's wisdom is HUGE.
Bigger than godly wisdom, definitely.
Tree: Yeah, man. That.
Amadi takes another sip of tea, gets it down wrong and starts coughing like crazy.
Kyrule eyes the tree suspiciously.
Ganelon: Shame 4E's built on nothing ever increasing your ability scores except levels.
Apheori (GM): ...that almost just happened to me.
What Amadi did.
Ganelon: He can't actually have super huge wisdom.
Frezak (GM): Gravy slaps Amadi on the back.
Apheori (GM): >.<
Frezak (GM): With a gravy-sized hand
because that's what he's got
Apheori (GM): 4e has a lot of limitations that make me sad.
Like will saves. I love making people roll will saves.
Ganelon: He should find himself a smaller hand, Frezak.
Apheori (GM): Such interaction.
And that would be a fort save.
Such fort.
Much force.
Very handy.
Frezak (GM): I take Dave's hand and use it to pat Amadi on the back
Apheori (GM): Amadi stops choking from the second one, but nearly falls over from the first one.
Amadi coughs out a "thanks".
Apheori (GM): Dawn gives Gravy a surprised "Oing?"
Frezak (GM): Gravy saves the day again.
Gaurav: As usual.
Ellemerr: Whatever would we do without him.
Frezak (GM): Kill people.
Ganelon: Us?
Please, we're harmless.
Kyrule: One last thing before we head out.
Gaurav: Unless you offer us lollipops and then don't pay up.
Kyrule: We'll need to leave behind an anchor, something to mark this place and time in order to return to it.
Ganelon: Rhu's the only guy with a job involving the necessary injury of others and he'd probably mess that up too unless it were really serious.
Gaurav: Or you're an eel. We're bad for eels. Well, Rhu is.
I assume everybody points at Rhu at this point.
Kyrule: I could try bribing a certain someone here with a lollipop, but at this point I believe you best option would be to have Dawn remain behind.
Rhu: I ... have a skull? Would that work?
The Gravedigger: Byedavethanksseeya
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Dawn: Um... okay?
Kyrule: Just stay here. And don't wander off. Have a cat.
Kyrule hands Dawn a sphinx.
The Gravedigger: Really time to leave now!
Apheori (GM): Different sphinx from before.
Radek: ...You had better take that back when we return.
Dawn: Uh...
Dawn stares at the sphinx.
Radek: It's enough of a burden keeping Dawn in line.
Kyrule: Of course.
Ganelon: Maybe this is a nicer sphinx, but it's the same old Radek.
Apheori (GM): Poor Dawn.
Ganelon: He's not a cat, dog, or... "organic life" person.
Apheori (GM): If anyone had actually wanted her, you could have done the Dawn and Amadi acting exactly the same thing.
Gaurav: I want her! Dawn and Rhu have a rapport.
She has many wise things to tell him on the idiocy of deities.
Apheori (GM): Then say something
Amadi: How about Squirrel? She likes it here and everything.
Amadi gives Squirrel suspicious glances.
Rhu: It might be useful to have someone who can fly with us.
Squirrel suddenly reappears at Amadi's mention.
Squirrel: Squirrel!
Kyrule shakes her head.
Rhu: And besides, she can fight. Sort of.
Frezak (GM): brb
Kyrule: You need someone who can stay put.
Amadi's... key might work, too, however.
Amadi: Would not!
If it stays, I stay, and I'm not staying.
Kyrule: You could use Dawn as a temporary key while binding your main form to this plane.
Amadi: Eeeew
Kyrule: I'm not sure if that is entirely a good idea, of course.
Amadi makes a disgusted face.
Ellemerr: I approve of that plan, though. It sounds like it'd go marvellously wrong.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ellemerr: ... I don't think I can convince Amadi.
Apheori (GM): She won't force you, though.
So it'll have to be... SQUIRREL.
You'll be followed into a great hole by Squirrel.
...I blame you.
Around now the sphinx tries to climb Dawn's face and she falls over.
Covered in fluff and wings.
Kyrule: Very well, then.
Apheori (GM): I guess at this point y'all just get transported.
Frezak (GM): It's the drugs again!
Apheori (GM): Leaving Dawn behind, but apparently taking Squirrel with you.
I am so sorry.
Gaurav: What does being transported feel like?
Apheori (GM): I'unno.
What should it feel like?
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
Like being coated in eldritch pea soup
And then hummed at by a blind giant
Ganelon: It feels like aaaAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
Bear Soup Guy: While going up slightly too fast in an elevator
Apheori (GM): It doesn't feel like god magic. It's much more sudden and smooth and precise.
You're one place, and then you're another place, but it's like all of everything just sort of shifted around you.
Wasn't even a breeze. Just a vague hum.
The giant is drowsy today.
Gaurav: You guys are the best.
Apheori (GM): You are taken to a dark expanse of not-quite land. The ground is twisted, distorted, black and glassy, the clouds low and roiling, full of lightning with no thunder, tinted with yellow. Dead plants lie scorched against the ground, all pointing the same directon as though blown over from some great blast.
Glints of purple glow from cracks and crevices, under rocks, beneath your feet. The very shadows are glowing. Off in the distance, in the direction where the trees' trunks point, the same glow rises out of nothing, painting the clouds in horrible splashes of sickening colour.
Even here, you can hear it whispering.
So it's all of you, plus Kyrule and Squirrel.
Crap, did I ever actually write down the whole spirally thingy?
Gaurav: Man, I love the word "roiling".
The Gravedigger: Gosh.
Apheori (GM): Dammit, I wish I could make you all do fortitude saves.
Ellemerr: I have food, now. I don't promise that it'll help, but there's some food. Also, I love that description. :3
Apheori (GM): CURSE YOU 4E.
Ganelon: You technically can.
Just have people roll their fortitude defense -10.
Apheori (GM): GREAT. DO THAT.
Radek: rolling 1d20+6
= 12
Apheori (GM): Except Amadi.
Ellemerr: Heheheh
Frezak (GM): Let me even find my sheet
Rhu: rolling d20+5 fort save
= 19
Apheori (GM): Aaagh, crap, I knew I forgot something.
...good thing I don't have any characters. >.>
Frezak (GM): rolling 1D20+9
= 23
Bear Soup Guy: Uhm
Oh, I see
rolling 1d20+3
= 23
Nailed it
Apheori (GM): Heheh.
Okay, uh...
Radek... is affected somehow.
I need to go to the bathroom while I figure out how.
If I can.
Radek gets mild vertigo.
Apheori (GM): Which I guess impacts his reflexes or something. Hell if I know.
Ganelon: So he's stumbling around?
Apheori (GM): Probably just feels like he might fall over, or something. He can stumble if he wants.
Ganelon: He'll... try to maintain his balance.
Apheori (GM): He should be fine... for now.
When weird things start happening, er, remind me or something?
Bear Soup Guy: If he falls he should stabilize himself on Greibel
He won't even flinch
(To Amadi): This is one of many, many things that can happen around significant holes. There's others, too. Some have fish. You don't know how you know this.
Bear Soup Guy: Then again I imagine Radek would ordinarily be pretty easy to support without a crit roll
Ganelon: Sure.
And yeah, Radek isn't unnaturally light like Amadi, but he's a withered old guy.
(From Ellemerr): Aw, I'd have wanted fish...
Ganelon: Hardly a lot of mass.
(To Amadi): You think Dawn is telling you this.
(To Amadi): You get a sense of a face-full of cat.
Amadi wrinkles her nose.
Bear Soup Guy: brb
Squirrel wrinkles her nose as well.
Kyrule: This is the result of a large rift, spreading its corruption through the land. Left unchecked, it would take out the entire world, until all remaining surrounding forces are all too weak to draw it further.
Radek: You...
Radek holds a hand to his forehead and tries to focus on the glowing horizon.
Radek: I'm supposed to close this?
Kyrule: It's a bit of a hike to the thing itself. We couldn't come out closer due to the... distortions.
The Gravedigger: Why haven't you ? If you know it's here.
Apheori (GM): That ... should be a word.
I dunno what the word is.
Something like 'gravitational', but bigger, encompassing more things, including gravity.
And reality.
And... stuff.
Frezak (GM): Distortion is a word.
Apheori (GM): Right, but it's a something distortion.
Frezak (GM): Dimensional?
Apheori (GM): Space-time dimensional distortions.
That's what she said. Totally. shifty eyes
Does /this/ do anything too?
Ellemerr: I'm very annoyed.
Also very nearly made Amadi very annoyed.
Apheori (GM): Oh?
Ellemerr: I don't like them taking my stars.
Apheori (GM): Oh, aye.
Ganelon: She prizes those asterisks.
Apheori (GM): Especially since they didn't even take them CORRECTLY.
Ganelon: I wonder, though...
Does this work?
Apheori (GM): Normally they bold, if anything. Italics is just wrong.
Ganelon: ...Wow.
Skype's italic format, _this_, is nice.
But four asterisks in Roll20 leads to normal text.
So you can't even go overboard. It's infallible.
Asterisks not allowed.
Apheori (GM): Ghuh.
Ellemerr: You use asteriks for everything here. One set is italics, two is bold... three is both. There's no underline, to my knowledge.
Apheori (GM): That is horrible.
Ganelon: No underlines, and no strikethrough.
Apheori (GM): Why can't they use standard formats, or even just use buttons, like everyone else? >.
Ganelon: I guess you can still do ~this~?
Apheori (GM): Ew.
Ellemerr: Meh. MEH!
Frezak (GM): blargh!
Ganelon: I appreciate tildes. They're a good way to denote speaking in a non-common language.
Apheori (GM): Oh, aye.
They did work well for that.
Still look gross in general, though. >.>
Ellemerr: And R20 doesn't approve of >brackets< either.
Frezak (GM):
Ellemerr: ANYWAY!
Apheori (GM): RIGHT.
Kyrule said, "It's a bit of a hike to the thing itself. We couldn't come out closer due to the space-time dimensional distortions.
Gravy said, "Why haven't you (closed it)? If you know it's here. "
Kyrule: Technically I really don't.
Apheori (GM): This is a really convoluted mess.
Also someone should ask how long this hole has even been here.
Or something.
Kyrule: But this hole is new, existing within the general timeline for only a few weeks. It is an opportunity, and should your methds fail, then indeed I will need to close it through my own means.
Apheori (GM): I CAN WORDAGE.
Gaurav: I'm going to check with Hazz' to see what he makes of this.
Apheori (GM): Oh dear.
Rhu: rolling d20+10 religion check with Hazz' on this hole.
= 12
Ellemerr: Oh dear indeed.
Gaurav: Some roll.
Apheori (GM): Hmmmmmmmm.
Rhu's all made up with Hazz, is he?
Bear Soup Guy: Evidently not.
Apheori (GM): Heheh.
Gaurav: BSG: Hee.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, nothing comes of that.
Gaurav: Um, I guess he's willing to ask him a question at this point.
Ellemerr: phone
Gaurav: Not trust him or obey him or anything, just ask.
Radek: Let me see the rift itself.
Kyrule: Stay close.
Radek tries to use Gravy to support his own failing sense of balance.
Ganelon: Not sure whether he'd even notice if he weren't looking.
Frezak (GM): How would you even do that?
Kyrule leads everyone toward the glow, picking a way around the dead trees and various rocks and crap. Blah blah.
Ganelon: What do you mean?
Gravy's a big, sturdy dude.
Ellemerr: Phonecall paused. Will resume once Anna (who says "Hi!" to y'all and particularly Frezak) has talked with some other people. Yes.
Ganelon: It's like putting your hand on a wall to lean on.
Frezak (GM): How does a tiny old man use a giant as a support?
Yeah, but the wall moves.
Suppose you could lean on his shield.
That will be replaced with a sarcophagus lid as soon as I get to do that.
Amadi gives Radek curious looks.
Amadi: If you want a ride, you just have to ask, you know. Actually, I'm not even sure you need to ask. Gravy, can I have a ride?
Apheori (GM): What do you need to get to do that?
Frezak (GM): A sarcophagus with a lid.
Or magic.
Squirrel repeats everything Amadi just said.
Frezak (GM): I'm a god, it's part of the image.
I'll do it when no-one is looking.
Gravy grabs Amadi and places her in the correct position.
Radek: I don't need a ride, I just...
Amadi whees and throws a cupcake at Squirrel.
Radek: Pfah, never mind.
Squirrel whees and throws a cupcake at Radek.
Greibel chuckles
Ganelon: A cupcake? Bah!
I wish I had the skills to dodge or deflect that.
Frezak (GM): You have a reflex defense.
Apheori (GM): Alas.
Ganelon: That actually is my highest defense, so fair enough.
Frezak (GM): Presumaby that indicates reflexes.
Amadi: You just... don't know exactly how to stay on your feet? Teleportation-sickness? Or is it the intricate artfulness of this exquisite landscape that is messing with your otherwise impressive head?
The Gravedigger: It is a pretty great head.
Squirrel repears Amadi's line backwards.
Squirrel: t
The Gravedigger: Don't tell him I said that, it'll go to it.
Frezak (GM): Said to Amadi despite the fact that he's in arms reach of Radek.
Kyrule: In your timeline it would have been a few hundred years since these events, but leaving a rift like this open for so long would probably have spelled the end of the world.
According to our histories it was closed, here, on this day, though the exact details will be open to interpretation.
Frezak (GM): What's the dirt here like?
Apheori (GM): Terrible.
It's dry and glassy, and in some places it's even a bit bubbly.
Radek: Then... you're having us fulfill history.
Kyrule: Yes.
One way or another.
Ganelon: He doesn't answer Amadi mostly because he doesn't want to admit that he's all woozy.
Frezak (GM): We ARE in the process of moving towards teh thingy, right?
Apheori (GM): Silly Radek. He mustn't like doctors much.
You're approaching!
The landscape is getting weirder, the sky scarier.
There are cracks in the ground now, great glowing crevices where the earth has split. Most are small, no more than a few cm, easy to step across, or certainly jumpable, but others... others form ravines meters across, and as you navigate your way down the twisting spiral of sundered earth, the pattern becomes clear. It's at the centre of all this, the middle. The twisting horror, full of voices and shadows, memories and possibilities, all wrong, wrong, wrong.
Frezak (GM): The dirt rubbishier?
Apheori (GM): It's getting horrible.
Frezak (GM): Boooo!
Ganelon: ...
Apheori (GM): Becoming even difficult to distinguish as dirt.
Ganelon: I'm going to take some horrible dirt back with me.
Apheori (GM): It's like stone, but glassy. You wind up having to chip off a chunk with something.
Like a chisel or trowel or whatever.
Ganelon: Horrible!
Gaurav: Can we actually hear the voices and shadows?
Apheori (GM): You hear whispers, and distant shouts, but nothing is all that distinguishable, unless Gravy or Greibel actually want to distinguish it.
Frezak (GM): Not really!
Apheori (GM): It also feels like you're being trailed by shadows in the corners of your vision, strange shapes moving on their own accord, some glowing with the same weird un-light as everything else, some... not.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel is content to take it all in like a really deep art installation
Apheori (GM): Duuude.
That would be awesome.
If thissort of ambiance could be preserved...
Bear Soup Guy: Yes
Yes it would
Alas I am no animator
Apheori (GM): Hmm.
Frezak (GM): Pickles!
Bear Soup Guy: If any of you are animators and want to animate it
I will record ambient music that will be fitting fo rit
Frezak (GM): Gravy just looks at Radek to do something smart.
Apheori (GM): You come to a rift that's more sideways than the others, forming a bit of a cave entrance.
Er, ravine.
It's also glowing horribly.
Frezak (GM): Cool.
rolling 1D20
= 8
Ganelon: Okay, so... I forget if something was necessarily wrong with the latest method I devices to close these things.
Rhu: rolling d20
= 12
Ganelon: That being energy-to-reality synthesis.
rolling 1d20
= 3
Amadi: rolling 1d20
= 12
Ganelon: Aaaaagh
Apheori (GM) shrugs.
Apheori (GM): I dunno!
Bear Soup Guy: rolling 1d20
= 16
Ganelon: Also I said "devices" when I meant "devised".
This is why I spoke of my distraction earlier.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Radek, and Amadi: The shadows aren't there. The voices aren't there. You're seeing through the world, to elsewhere, another side, other places. You get a sense that you could almost fall through, even...
Gravy: It doesn't see you. Yet.
The Gravedigger: This is a mess.
Kyrule: Ye-es...
Radek: This is... light is bleeding through from other dimensions.
Amadi: Yes! Innit shiny?
Amadi giggles and follows some shadows with her finger.
Amadi: Shiiiiny.
Squirrel giggles and wraps a shadow in another shadow.
Frezak (GM): Dammit, and I know EXACTLY what that's like!
Squirrel: Shiiiiny.
Frezak (GM): Stop it!
Apheori (GM): Frezak: What're you referring to?
Radek: So it's true, then.
Frezak (GM): The "shiiiiny" part as coming from the hag.
Radek: I truly could create a bridge between worlds like this...
Amadi: Or a gate or an elevator or... maybe even a river.
The Gravedigger: Maybe when the universe isn't falling to bits, hmm?
Squirrel: Or a well or a portal or... maybe even a moribundis.
Amadi nods sagely to herself and Squirrel. Who probably nods just as sagely back.
Apheori (GM): Exactly.
Kyrule: You could, but for now it would be better to focus on the immediate problems.
Radek: Ah. Y-yes, of course.
Gaurav: I like how Gravy's now the guy who stops Radek from destroying the universe.
Frezak (GM): Someone has to!
Kyrule should have just pointed at Gravy and said, "What he said."
Apheori (GM): Half of the party are gods.
This is a little disturbing.
Do you enter the ravine cavern?
Frezak (GM): Looks like it.
Ganelon: I guess we have to.
Gaurav: Rhu's just going to follow Gravy and Radek wherever they go.
Apheori (GM): Your DM is busy eating whipped cream and will actually write up what happens when you do in a moment.
Frezak (GM): To hell and back!
Apheori (GM): Mmmm, whipped cream.
Amadi's eating ice cream, right?
Amadi eats a bananasplit ice cream with whipped cream, vanilla cream and chocolate sauce.
Apheori (GM): Cool.
Squirrel eats a really thick ice cream baileys frappuccino.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You enter, and it seems that here, the glow is fainter, or perhaps it's simply permeating everything now, no escape. The soft vibrating that you feel in your bones, it's nothing more than the humming air, handsaws twanging, cats purring too many to hear.
Frezak (GM): I really don't like that.
Apheori (GM): Hmm.
Frezak (GM): That last line sounds like some WoD shizzle.
Apheori (GM): You're in a bit of a narrow passage angling down into the glow, where the earth literally split.
Rhu: Is it supposed to be this ... shivery?
Ellemerr: Man, I'm stealing that line for WoD.
Frezak (GM): Gaaah!
Radek: ...Dreadful.
Nothing here is as it's supposed to be.
Kyrule: (murmuring) They went in here, just the two of them, alone, with only the thin tether of need to guide them. I sent them to their deaths... and worse.
Fucking hells.
(From Ellemerr): Do I know what she's talking about?
(To Ellemerr): Vardaman and Ariel. It was recent; they went in looking for a piece of something... and you would know because Ariel was one of yours. Vardaman was one of mine, and Ariel one of yours, and we lost them both.
Gaurav: I'm just going to assume Rhu didn't hear that. It'd make him unnecessarily nervous.
Or not.
Apheori (GM): DO IT.
Frezak (GM): Are gonna need light?
Gaurav: hahahahaahah
Ellemerr: phone
Apheori (GM): Noooooooo!
Uh, okay.
You keep going, Amadi is distracted by something, Squirrel is distracted by something else, and gods dammit I need to pee.
It seems to be getting darker, or possibly lighter, but seeing is getting difficult.
This is weird as arse.
Gaurav: It is.
Apheori (GM): Drink!
I may have forgotten something very important.
I should have drawn a map.
I'm sorry.
Y'all cannot see. There is only blackness and no light, only solitude and no others. You feel alone, completely isolated in the black, nothing to do or be or see.
But you just were right there, the others all around...
Gaurav: Rhu's pretty used to being in weird caves by now.
He's not going to panic unless giant fish show up.
Rhu: rolling d20
= 12
Apheori (GM): Something huge and fishy falls on Rhu, knocking him over.
Rhu: Ah!
Apheori (GM): Also you all hear that./
You just can't see anything.
Radek: ...Rhu? Are you still there?
Rhu scrambles out from under the thing.
Apheori (GM): Rhu runs into Gravy's legs.
Rhu: Holy ...
What the hack was that thing?!
Frezak (GM): There's a cultist in my legs!
Apheori (GM): Can I steal Ellemerr's character?
Gaurav: Gravy's Holy Legs
Ellemerr: yes
Apheori (GM): Alternately, can I tell you to say something about something?
Ellemerr: yes
(To Ellemerr): Something about how if there's light, they won't like what they see. Shadows with no form, horror that hungers in the light...
(To Ellemerr): But of course there will be light or something.
(To Ellemerr): I don't know.
Frezak (GM): Is Greibel's bong still glwoing?
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Frezak (GM): Aaaw
Apheori (GM): Sorry.
Gaurav: We still have our space-elf lights and stuff, don't we?
Apheori (GM): You should. Want to activate one?
Rhu gets up, and tries to get closer look at the thing that fell on him.
Apheori (GM): You can't see anything.
Amadi: That was a giant fish! That you don't want to look at! It's like... y'know... shadows cast by shapeless nothings and... hungers. Except it needs light. Wants light. I think.
Rhu: rolling d20+15 perception check after turning on his space-elf light thing
= 28
Gaurav: Um.
Amadi: ... Oh, you have light.
That's... great?
Rhu: What?!
Apheori (GM): Squirrel says everything Amadi does at the same time.
Rhu turns his light off.
Gaurav: Deep dread warnings in stereo.
Apheori (GM): Man, if only I could just kill you all for that. Except that wouldn't actually be funny.
Kyrule floods the passage with light at the same time as Rhu turns his off.
Gaurav: You can kill Rhu if you like. He's used to it.
Kyrule: Light travels too slowly to turn it off now.
Amadi: ... I guess that works.
Squirrel: I suppose it works.
The Gravedigger: Aaagh light!
Kyrule: The shadows. The light will keep them at bay, but at the same time, it also gives them form. In the darkness, they have no power, for there is nothing to cast their edges. In the light... in the memory of light, they can only eat.
Rhu: Is this where the giant fish on Sarathi came from?o
Kyrule: No.
It's messing with you, trying to find an opening.
Guard your minds. It will seek to exploit any weakness, open any wound.
The Gravedigger: Why?
Amadi: My mind is so guarded. I've got, like, archers and pots of boiling oil. Also, the princess is in another castle.
Kyrule: There is a presense, an... other within the darkness. I have sensed it a few times, though I do not know... what it is.
Squirrel: (at the same time as Amadi) My mind isn't guarded. I've got, like, sparrows and a piece of cheese. Also, the princes are all dead.
The Gravedigger: Have you asked?
Kyrule: Not successfully.
Communication exists on different levels, but this... presense, if it even is the same one, is so alien that I do not know where to begin.
The Gravedigger: Hmm.
Amadi: We should try. Should we try?
The Gravedigger nods thoughtfully
Frezak (GM): Gravy breathes in, in a gravylike fashion
Apheori (GM): The shadows at the edge of the light roil with need, straining at the light, sharpest at its edges, but unable to come any closer.
Gaurav: Can we see the giant fish clearly now in all the light?
Kyrule: Break down meanings into patterns, break down patterns into something else, and perhaps, perhaps you could try.
I once tried speaking to Kyrule in this way. He did not like it.
Amadi nods knowingly.
Apheori (GM): The giant fish is clearly a giant fish, but it also looks a bit transparentish.
(To Amadi): For extra hilarity, it was you-not-you who indirectly taught this Kyrule how to do that in the first place.
Frezak (GM): Transparenfish
(From Amadi): Such hilarity. nodnods
(To Amadi): Very.
Gaurav: Is it a dead giant fish, then? I imagined it writhing or something.
Apheori (GM): It's dead.
Maybe it writhed before.
It's dead now.
Radek: Patterns, you say.
The Gravedigger: Interpretative dance?
Gaurav: Are we having this conversation standing around the dead fish, or have we resumed walking through to the other end of this tunnel thing? Because I'd like to get out of here.
Kyrule: The mathematics are extremely complex, so much that even the Book could not parse it.
Brute forcing it didn't work either, of course.
And I love brute forcing things.
Dancing might do it, for all I know.
Amadi: Did I try bribery? I should've tried bribery.
Kyrule: If it's the right kind of dance.
Ballet didn't.
Kyrule goes up on a toe for emphasis.
The Gravedigger: Maybe you need a beard.
Kyrule suddenly has a really long, white beard.
Kyrule strokes it consideringly.
Apheori (GM): It's a beard to rival Radek's own.
Radek strokes his own beard competitively.
Gaurav: It's a beard-off!
Kyrule takes up the challenge, upping the ante with competitive beard stroking.
Squirrel: (to Amadi) Or a brewery!
Amadi: ... Both?
Squirrel: Both?
Gaurav: I'm going to have to leave in 10-15mins, but if you want to keep going, Rhu's now-readable character sheet is at https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19429772/dnd-skype/Rhu.pdf
Ellemerr: I'm, as usual, going to need sleep.
Apheori (GM): Also I assume a this point everyone's just sort of standing around.
Because nevermind reality falling apart or your so important mission, there was a FISH! And BEARDS!
Should we just conclude the beard-off and then pick up here next time?
Bear Soup Guy: Seems like a good place for it
Apheori (GM): Would anyone here make a good impartial judge to settle the beard dispute?
Gaurav: Hazz'ridan the Magnificent
Bear Soup Guy: ^
Gaurav: If someone asks me, I'll pray to Hazz' for this.
me -> Rhu
Ganelon: Alright.
What do I roll to beard?
Apheori (GM): Uh... charisma?
...what the hell does Kyrule roll?
Ganelon: Okay, I'm treating this as a trained charisma-based skill.
rolling 1d20+5+3
= 16
That's training + 1/2 level. Radek has no Cha bonus.
Apheori (GM): She probably does, but I have no idea what it would be. >.>
...she rolled a natural 17. I think she wins. >.>
I'm sorry.
Getting into competitions with gods seems not to end well.
Gaurav: I assume Radek doesn't have to recognise her victory. Even if he knows in his heart that her beard was better.
Kyrule looks slightly apologetic and then loses the beard.
Ganelon: Alas.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so next week?
Can everyone do that?
Ganelon: Yeah.
I should be far less busy then.
Ellemerr: I foresee no obstacles.
Gaurav: I'll be there!
Frezak (GM): Yyyyep
Apheori (GM): Excellent.
We shall pick up here.
I do so love you guys.
Bear Soup Guy: You only want us for our ballet Jesus
Apheori (GM): I'm not saying one way or another.
Bear Soup Guy: It's okay, it's hard to cast blame. Ballet Jesus has that effect on people.
Frezak (GM): He's divine.