Holes/Session 3/raw

From Zaori
Wen: Hi team.
Apheori (GM): My sea of pdfs is inclined to drown.
Frezak (GM): Make a boat.
Ganelon: Hello.
Bear Soup Guy: Adobe Boat
Apheori (GM): Okay, where were we all?
Frezak (GM): I was digging a hole.
Wen: in the parking lot
SHIP is gone.
Frezak (GM): *SURPRISE*
Wen: that backstabbing bastard, I mean, er.
Frezak (GM): I was under the impression SHIP was more female than male.
Unless bastard is also genderless.
Apheori (GM): It is.
Wen: but usually male
Ganelon: It is, it's just very male-biased.
Wen: used as an insult, people tend to substitute bitch for females.
but I guess you could technically call a girl born out of wedlock a bastard.
Apheori (GM): Right.
GRAVY IS DIGGING UP A TREE.
Frezak (GM): Well, ship has buggered off.
Radek was about to try and see if he can report back?
Apheori (GM): RADEK IS CONSIDERING THE... OTHER SHIPS OR SOMETHING.
GREIBEL IS A MOOSE.
Bear Soup Guy: YAY MOOSE
Frezak (GM): MOOSE
Apheori (GM): RHU IS STARING AT GRAVY.
Ganelon: I want to go to that shipwreck, yes.
But right now I need... probably 10 minutes' time.
Wen: goddamn it people test your website on windows.
Apheori (GM): AZIR IS HAPPY TO BE OUTSIDE.
Wen: very much so yes.
Ganelon: As in, Radek does.
Not I.
Frezak (GM): Magic ritual time?
Ganelon: Damn straight.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
MAKE HOLE.
Ganelon: To Make Whole.
Not to be confused with digging.
The Gravedigger: I CAN MAKE HOLES TOO, GUYS.
Apheori (GM): You're doing that already.
Frezak (GM): Without even using magic.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll a d20.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
16
)
=
16
Apheori (GM): You can stop being a moose if you want.
Bear Soup Guy: Okie dokie
Apheori (GM): Everyone else, do stuff.
Aziraphale stares around wildly
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
16
)
=
16
Apheori (GM): You're sane. Congratulations.
Ganelon: What I'm doing takes quite some time, but these fellows are welcome to watch as I draw circles around this broken sword.
Greibel: Oh man, I love broken sword magic!
Ganelon: Well, 10 minutes is quite some time compared to the length of a fight, anyway.
Or most discussions.
Frezak (GM): Brb, Assume I'm burying a swarm of undead chickens.
Rhu: Greibel, Azir: d20 again.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Wen: crap
Apheori (GM): Oops. Oh well.
Hmm.
I need to wake up.
Wen: /me drops a 2kg weight on Apheori
Apheori (GM): Oh, bugger, I guess Rhu was the only one who noticed.
Bear Soup Guy pulls the lever dropping a 16 ton weight on Apheori
Apheori (GM): So Rhu's just sort of staring.
Nevermind him, though.
So Azir and Greibel are watching the shiny artificer.
Gravy: YOU FINISH DIGGING UP THE TREE.
And then he probably just buries them.
Argh, I need... waking.
Frezak (GM): Burying dem birdies.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you're all busy and for some inane reasons nothing particularly weird is happening besides whatever Rhu was staring at, so I'ma get some tea.
Bear Soup Guy: They were zombies so you may need to bury them twice as deep
Frezak (GM): What is twice dead cannot rise again!
Or something.
Wen: I want a second monitor
Frezak (GM): I'll just pack the earth really tight.
You can't have mine.
i'm using it.
Wen: Damn it.
brb bathroom.
Bear Soup Guy: The bathroom probably has a second monitor
Frezak (GM): Like all good bathrooms.
Apheori (GM): I could use a fifth monitor.
Ganelon: I could use a monitor lizard.
Wen: Back.
Apheori (GM) feels like dropping a car on the parking lot.
Wen: I was actually considering going on campus to one of the labs and stealing the use of a monitor.
but noo, closed over the break.
Apheori (GM): >.<
GUYS.
Wen: HI.
Frezak (GM): HELLO.
Apheori (GM): There is a loud WHOMP from the other end of the lot.
Aziraphale: What was that noise?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: YOU DONE BURYING YET?
Greibel looks toward the WHOMP
Frezak (GM): YOU TELL ME.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: It looks messy.
FREZAK: YOU'RE DOING BURYING.
Frezak (GM): I'll turn and squint, using Gravy-vision.
Greibel: It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP
Aziraphale: What kind of WHOMP?
Apheori (GM): A messy WHOMP.
Frezak (GM): Messy?
Apheori (GM): Maybe you should go and look.
Frezak (GM): Organic?
Apheori (GM): It sounded messy.
Frezak (GM): DID A FISH GO SPLAT?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
The Gravedigger: Flying fish!
TO THE FISH
Apheori (GM): It could have been a fish.
Frezak (GM): I will charge towards the sound.
Aziraphale walks cautiously toward the source of the noise
Apheori (GM): You go and investigate, and...
...well, something went splat.
Frezak (GM): GOSH.
Ganelon: When 10 minutes have transpired, let me know.
Rituals require me to stay in place and pay attention
Frezak (GM): So we see... globs?
Ganelon: Though as a player I'll always be here to offer snarky commentary, fear ye not.
Greibel: Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?
Apheori (GM): There are globs.
The Gravedigger: Many globs.
But.
If there's something i've learnt.
It's that there are always new globs.
Apheori (GM): And some things that might be bone.
Frezak (GM): And I try Perception to identify the globs?
Greibel: What a nice thought
Frezak (GM): *can I try
Wen: does it look alive?
Frezak (GM): ZOMBIE GLOBS AAAAA
Apheori (GM): It's definitely not alive now.
ROLL.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
20
)
+8
=
28
EEEEEEAGLE EYES
I SEE ALL.
THE UNIVERSE UNFOLDS.
Wen: If it's another undead something battle I'm going to kill someone. >.>
Apheori (GM): You discern that it used to be a small dragon.
Bear Soup Guy: "I can see forever!"
Ganelon: You should be looking forward to fighting undead, what with the holy powers.
Apheori (GM): You also see some bits of metal.
The Gravedigger: That used to be a small dragon.
THere's also...
The Gravedigger rummages for the metal bits.
The Gravedigger: THIS.
Apheori (GM): You hold up a half-digested...
Light fixture.
Aziraphale: Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?
The Gravedigger: Well, that's odd.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE.
WHY DONT YOU KNOW?
Greibel: Does it shine groovy colors?
Apheori (GM): Dragons are not native to Sarathi, but one of this size could have been kept as a pet.
Azir: You can't know everything about the entire planet.
Aziraphale: Gravy: I've never seen the, certainly.
Frezak (GM): Do dragons normally eat light fixtures?
Wen: WELL TELL THAT TO GRAVY EH
Apheori (GM): YOU TELL IT TO HIM. I'm just leaving a note.
Wen: them*
well okay I just did
Apheori (GM): GOOD.
Frezak (GM): ALRIGHT.
Bear Soup Guy: I wish I could do real life perception rolls
Apheori (GM): And I dunno, do dragons normally eat light fixtures?
Also it's starting to glow.
Frezak (GM): They're your dragons.
Apheori (GM): GAN: YOUR GUY FINISHES.
Frezak (GM): What's glowing?
The globs or the metal?
Apheori (GM): The light fixture.
Oh, wait.
Ganelon: Marvelous, let's see what all the hubbub is about.
Apheori (GM): The globs are too now.
Frezak (GM): I WILL DROP THE LIGHT FIXTURES.
And double-move back.
Greibel: This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp
The Gravedigger: DO dragons normally glow?
Aziraphale mutters something
Radek: Dragons?
Aziraphale is really muttering now
The Gravedigger: Dead glowy dragon here.
Aziraphale: babble babble babble
The Gravedigger: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?
Apheori (GM): Radek: Only certain kinds do, and they wouldn't be this small.
Frezak (GM): 18 con lungs.
Greibel: I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary
Aziraphale: something something Alesvrie something
The Gravedigger: STOP MUMBLING.
Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably
The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.
Aziraphale: I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.
The Gravedigger: Awesome!
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Aziraphale: This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
The Gravedigger: What.
Were you mucking about with SCIENCE?
Gaaaaah.
RADEEEEEK
Radek: Don't you even start.
Aziraphale: Not me. My employer was.
Radek: What was the experiment?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see the sky.
Greibel: Lava lamps, I bet
Aziraphale: Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: It looks horribly wrong.
(From Aziraphale): sorry, quicker just to paste what you gave me >.>
Greibel: Woooah
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Like a lava lamp.
Greibel: A HUNGRY ONE.
(To Aziraphale): No worries.
Greibel: Guys look at the sky!
Aziraphale looks
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Greibel: That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!
Frezak (GM): Gravy looks as well.
Wen: do I add insight or something?
Ganelon: I'll look.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
17
Ganelon: It would be stupid not to.
Apheori (GM): d20!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Apheori (GM): Wen: I'll add the relevant thingy here.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): The sky seems to be the wrong colour.
And the light is going the wrong direction.
And there are cracks.
But none of you see anything resembling a hungry lava lamp effect.
The Gravedigger: Well that's queer.
Apheori (GM): Greibel does.
Greibel: I quite agree, Horseman
Rhu: It's glowing. Mutating.
Aziraphale: So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea...
What's next?
The Gravedigger: UNdead chickens?
No, wait, we did that.
BIg piles of money?
Rhu: More?
Aziraphale: I sincerely hope not.
That'd be nice.
The Gravedigger: Sandwiches?
Aziraphale: A ship that works would be nicer.
The Gravedigger: Eventually there won't be any bad things.
Aziraphale: I just want to get the hell out of this place now.
Bad things never run out.
It's the way of things.
Aziraphale mutters darkly
Greibel: Nonsense
Rhu: There is a pile of money over here, actually.
Greibel: After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel
Rhu points.
Radek: I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.
Greibel: There will be no bad things :D
The Gravedigger: Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.
What?
Money?
Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously
The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.
Apheori (GM): It looks like a pile of money.
Aziraphale pokes it with his borrowed shovel
Apheori (GM): It's a pile of money. You're not sure the currency, but it would probably sell for a lot.
Aziraphale: Radek, can I have my sword back?
The Gravedigger: Careful with that.
It's an antique.
Radek: Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.
Aziraphale: Mucha gracias.
Does anyone object if I keep the money?
As in, keep it with me.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The Gravedigger: I'm here to bury things.
Greibel shrugs too
Greibel: I'm here to...why am I here anyway?
Ganelon: Is it a pile that could even be carried?
Aziraphale: Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now
The Gravedigger: You're welcome.
Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.
Frezak (GM): SHOVEL GET.
Wen: Hee.
Apheori (GM): He has a bag, but it'd probably be easier to dump it on the gravedigger or split it.
Frezak (GM): What form is the money IN?
Wen: that large a pile?
WE'RE RICH!
Frezak (GM): I'd have thought future money was digital.
Apheori (GM): It's... not huge, but enough to be inconvenient.
IT is.
Aziraphale: Okay, what about we split it?
eggs in more than one basket and all that.
Apheori (GM): You'll need to fence it for it to have real value.
Greibel: Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs
Radek: Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.
Aziraphale: Well, let's split it anyway
Ganelon: Oh yeah, is the dragon still glowing?
Aziraphale pockets 1/5
Frezak (GM): brb
Apheori (GM): The dragon is still glowing.
It looks like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.
Ganelon: I am highly intrigued but not foolish enough to assume it's safe.
Bear Soup Guy: Can I inspect the dragon with my NATURE?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Greibel: okay
rolling 1d20 + 11
(
20
)
+11
=
31
Apheori (GM): Azir: It looks like the others aren't interested in the pile of money.
Wen: \o/
Bear Soup Guy: SUPER NATURE
Ganelon: I'm interested enough to take my share.
Bear Soup Guy: I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST
Ganelon: I just need to know how much that is.
Apheori (GM): Agh, dammit.
Gan: It's a small pile.
As opposed to a regular pile.
>.>
Ganelon: ...
Apheori (GM): Okay, it's about 3lbs of shiny stuff.
Wen: Can we just assume everyone takes some and move on? It's not critical to the plot right now is it?
Ganelon: You know, this is a game with a universal system of value.
But yes, it's hardly a big deal.
Apheori (GM): This is a universe that doesn't have a universal system of value, though.
Okay, fine, it's... how much would 3lb of shiny stuff be worth?
Like... coins.
Wen: OH LOOK A TRAVELEX. wait no everyone else is _dead_ on this planet. >_>
Ganelon: I don't know! Coins are somehow weightless in D&D!
Wen: snrk.
Apheori (GM): ...okay, how much SPACE do they take up?
Ganelon: NONE!
Bear Soup Guy: FIVE HUNDRED COINS
Ganelon: That's actually a whole lot, but whatever. This isn't worth raising a fuss over.
Apheori (GM): Meh, it's probably about that.
Wen: okay, so everyone takes 100?
Apheori (GM): Because you know what? THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE ABOUT HOW HEAVY IT IS.
I guess.
Wen: you can make it Zimbabwe dollars later if you think it's too much.
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
Apheori (GM): You have no idea what it is.
Ganelon: Okay, I want to hear about Greibel's astonishing success.
Apheori (GM): They look like dwemer coins, but everyone knows that's just an ancient videogame.
GREIBEL:
Uh...
Hold on, I need to make something up.
Bear Soup Guy: I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see the universe glowing in the dragon.
It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered.
Ganelon: I am old and cranky and hoping I can extract something flammable, acidic, or explosive from this dragon's corpse.
Apheori (GM): Also it used to be a dreloth. They're wimpy and a lot of people keep them as pets, especially in the Artiilie empire.
You get this urge to try smoking it.
Greibel: It was definitely a pet Dreloth!
Radek: Why is it glowing?
Greibel takes out a wooden pipe
Greibel: I'm going to find out!
Aziraphale: Um, are we sure this is a good idea?
Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it?
Aziraphale: I'm pretty sure it isn't.
Radek: That hasn't stopped him before.
Rhu: Meh.
Greibel: I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH
Frezak (GM): D&D coins aren't weightless >.>
Rhu: This is probably why we brought him.
The Gravedigger: Smoking expertise?
I thought we were just the only people that would come here.
Radek: (Shouting) Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?
Apheori (GM): Griebel: d20
Rhu: ...or that.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
It seems volatily delicious!
Frezak (GM): I'll edge away in case he explodes.
Or melts.
Or glows.
Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You get reasonably high as a result.
Frezak (GM): Reasonably?
Apheori (GM): No pygmy moose.
Reasonably.
Frezak (GM): IN THIS PLACE?
THERE IS NO REASON.
Apheori (GM): Pfft.
Ganelon: It stands to reason that he is high.
Greibel: Mmmm
Well, it doesn't seem dangerous
Frezak (GM): What does it smell like?
Radek: Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.
Apheori (GM): It smells like a strong base.
Greibel: It smells like old milk
No
Frezak (GM): A strong base?
What does that mean?
Greibel: FRESH milk
Frezak (GM): LIke... chalk?
Aziraphale: Ammonia?
Apheori (GM): Opposite of an acid. Like it was dunked in it, splattered, and then started reacting.
Greibel: Milky chalk
Apheori (GM): WEIRDLY.
Frezak (GM): Forget it. Stupid question. My sense of smell is fucked.
>.>
SO it doesn't smell delicious.
Apheori (GM): What happened to your sense of smell?
Ganelon: Well, if he's talking about Gravy, the guy did just spend almost 10 minutes hauling around rotting chicken corpses.
Apheori (GM): ...point.
Frezak (GM): I meant mine.
I don't really have one.
JUST IGNORE IT.
Apheori (GM): Ah.
Frezak (GM): AND DO THINGS.
Apheori (GM): OKAY.
Rhu does things.
Ganelon: Radek will approach and attempt to dig around this dragon's corpse.
Greibel will stand there looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling
Ganelon: It's pretty much totally up to you what he finds.
But... substances is the goal.
Frezak (GM): LET ME DIG.
I will offer Radek my second-best shovel.
Apheori (GM): You find substances.
Ganelon: And NOT NARCOTIC ONES.
Apheori (GM): I'm not sure what.
Ganelon: Just give me another arbitrary number like you did with the computer parts.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm sure he could reverse engineer narcotic ones or....something
Apheori (GM): I was hoping the gm guide would be of help, but...
All the pages are blank?
120
Ganelon: Thank you.
Apheori (GM): But some of that is narcotics.
So be careful.
Especially of Greibel.
Frezak (GM): He's dangerous.
Rhu pockets the light fixture.
Ganelon: I personally know very little about what materials are actually required for D&D alchemy, because everything is listed with a cost measured in money rather than... stuff.
Apheori (GM): Whereas I know nothing about costs, but I might know a thing or two about stuff... >.>
Silly D&D.
Frezak (GM): I'll go poke the busted ships for glowy cells.
Ganelon: Like, making a jar of Alchemist's Fire/Acid costs me the equivalent of 25 gold coins, but in materials that are worth nothing else on their own.
Wen: wait, there's a busted ship?
Apheori (GM): You're in a parking lot.
Ganelon: We saw it on the way down.
Apheori (GM): It has a few.
Wen: Ah
Apheori (GM): There was also one in the ocean, but that's further away.
Wen: Do we try to explore any of them?
Apheori (GM): These are generally little car and boat things. But yeah, you might as well check them out.
The one Gravy pokes falls to pieces, though.
Wen: No spaceships?
Apheori (GM): Like it just sort of disintigrated.
Wen: aw.
Apheori (GM): A lot of them are spaceships, but not... bbig ones.
Aziraphale: Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?
Ganelon: I'm not going to relentlessly salvage *everything* we come across, no worries.
Apheori (GM): There
Frezak (GM): Into dust?
Apheori (GM): 's a pile of spaceship dust now.
Frezak (GM): I WILL POKE ALL THE SHIPS.
Aziraphale: Wait!
Was the concreteness an illusion?
Apheori (GM): A couple of others also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the others are quite solid.
You also notice small holes in quite a few of them.
Greibel: Nice poking, Horseman!
Frezak (GM): Neat or torn holes?
Apheori (GM): And a much larger hole in the ground where one... used to be.
Some of both.
Some chopped out, some punched.
Bear Soup Guy: brb bathroom
Frezak (GM): From in or out?
Ganelon: I take it there's not much of a consistent pattern beyond them being damaged.
Aziraphale: I suggest we explore one of the solid ships and see what we can find.
The Gravedigger: TIME!
Apheori (GM): Generally punched in.
The Gravedigger: Some of these have been aged.
Apheori (GM): But not always.
The Gravedigger: I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.
Radek: You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.
The Gravedigger: That would be great.
I'd have more years left to dig holes.
Radek: Not for the rest of us.
Apheori (GM): Two things:
1, I fell sick.
Wen: >.<
Apheori (GM): 2, Azir, if you can get them open, they're generally no bigger than SUVs.
So it shouldn't take long to search them.
A few are open-topped skiffs as well.
Ganelon: Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience.
Frezak (GM): Can we check the insides for remains of whatever punched the holes? Bolts, arrows, bulletheads?
Ganelon: He was likely the king of the sandbox.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Find an open-topped one or get a door open.
Aziraphale: Let's look at the open topped ones first..
Apheori (GM): Gan: Snrk.
Frezak (GM): What Azi said.
Ganelon: Like a convertible?
Apheori (GM): Basically.
You find one full of peas.
There appear to be some bones in it.
Radek: ...I used to love peas.
Wen: Before The Incident
Frezak (GM): what kind of bones?
Peas, before the Change.
Apheori (GM): Some kind of small animal. Maybe a dog?
You can fish them out to try to see.
Bear Soup Guy: Fishing in a sea of peas
Ganelon: Sounds like the job for some kind of experienced digger.
Frezak (GM): I RISE TO THE TASK.
Nature/perception?
Apheori (GM): Just dig.
Frezak (GM): i delve.
Apheori (GM): You find more bones! Several... not dogs.
Giant chickens!
Also there's a large gun and a bucket of paint in the bottom.
Frezak (GM): What size compared to the undead chickens?
Greibel: Mercenary artists!
Frezak (GM): More on the gun.
Apheori (GM): Much bigger.
Frezak (GM): Colour of paint.
Apheori (GM): Purple paint.
The gun is a blastive one. Probably used to blow stuff up at reasonable range, but not very good accuracy.
(I guess it shoots fireballs.)
Frezak (GM): Like some kind of siege weapon?
Wen: do we find signs of the original occupants?
Apheori (GM): Potentially, but probably not that strong. It's like a sceptre of fireballs.
Frezak (GM): Is it functional?
Apheori (GM): No sign of them.
Frezak (GM): As far as I can tell without using it?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't give any indications of not being functional.
Frezak (GM): Actually.
Apheori (GM): The on switch responds.
Frezak (GM): I'll hand it to Radek.
He knows science.
Ganelon: I do!
Is any part of this weapon clogged with peas?
Frezak (GM): You are taunted by peas.
SHIT.
THE PEAS.
Ganelon: (I turn it off before inspecting the barrel)
Frezak (GM): ARE THE FANGED?
Apheori (GM): Radek: You recognise the make. It's basically a toy, though one with considerable destructive potential (at least for a toy). Once you get the peas off the display, you find it says it's about half full.
Frezak (GM): *thry
*they
Apheori (GM): They are not fanged.
Radek: I remember these things.
Frezak (GM): What kind of skill would be required to manipulate this device at maximum effectiveness?
Apheori (GM): The gun? The ability to point it.
Radek: One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.
Aziraphale: How many deaths?
before it was pulled
...it was pulled, yes?
The Gravedigger: Dibs.
Rhu: Nope.
Aziraphale: ...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.
The Gravedigger: Awesome!
Greibel scoffs at the gun
Radek: Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.
Apheori (GM): Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.
Frezak (GM): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.
Radek: Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore.
Wen: /me giggles
Frezak (GM): THE SQUASH.
Radek: It's half full.
Frezak (GM): How many shots is 'half-full' ?
ish?
Wen: Okay, so our options: explore more vehicles, explore the dragon / light fixture mess, go elsewhere. What else?
Apheori (GM): 10-20.
Ganelon: Batteries sold separately, no doubt.
Apheori (GM): There are some other buildings.
Aziraphale: Radek: Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?
Ganelon: Are communications back?
Apheori (GM): Should be rechargable, but... yeah.
Gan: No.
When you check, you can't connect to anything.
Radek: Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.
Frezak (GM): He could check the video logs we pulled earlier?
Aziraphale: Damn.
Good idea.
Ganelon: That he could!
Frezak (GM): I AM SO SMART.
GO DO SCIENCE.
Gravy will go back to poking random things to see what turns to dust.
Ganelon: Gather 'round and let's see.
That also works.
Frezak (GM): Eh, science.
I'll let you handle it.
I trust you to tell me cool things.
Apheori (GM): One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust.
Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust
Frezak (GM): WHOOOO
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20s.
Frezak (GM): I'll run in circle and have dust trail behind me like a cloak.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Ganelon: Oh gods, what kind of dust was this?
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
4
Nooooo
My sanity!
Apheori (GM): Gan: Your guy starts going through the logs, leaving the connection in the background. It all looks pretty normal.
Ganelon: Just ordinary mall stuff?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You turn and see the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them.
They appear to have sprouted fangs.
Gravy: The dust causes you to sneeze a bit.
Wen: do we see the fangs?
The Gravedigger: ACHOOOO
Greibel: AH FANGED PEAS
Ganelon: GaaaaaAAAAAH THIS IS WHY WE DON'T GIVE THE GM IDEAS
Apheori (GM): Gan: Yup. Day to tay stuff, until about a week ago.
Frezak (GM): I didn't, Gan.
Apheori (GM): Wen: No.
Frezak (GM): She came up with them first.
Aziraphale eyes Greibel
Aziraphale: are you okay?
The Gravedigger: Oh, be quiet Greibel.
I'M THE KING OF DUST
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20.
Greibel: OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.
Wen: uh oh
Greibel: Actually sometimes that would be quite okay
The Gravedigger: DUSSSSST
Greibel: I guess it's not so bad until they attack
The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.
The Gravedigger: WHOOOO
Greibel: WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE
Apheori (GM): Gan: You realise there are jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change.
Aziraphale: Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.
The Gravedigger: I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS
Radek: I don't have a cure for that.
Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth
(To Frezak): You know, your character actually passed the sanity check. Not that this isn't hilarious.
Radek: There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.
(From Frezak (GM)): I know! he's just having fun.
The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.
Aziraphale: anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?
(To Frezak): Heh. Though he also might be high.
Apheori (GM): Radek: Another d20
Ganelon: Is there a timer to indicated skips in time or is the environment itself skipping?
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Apheori (GM): Stop rolling badly.
The Gravedigger puts Greibel down to see what Radek is doing.
Wen: XD
Ganelon: If only I could.
Frezak (GM): He can't. It's the currrrse
Greibel wipes the dust off himself
Ganelon: You should've seen how lucky I was yesterday with the gnoll.
Goblins at my back, orcs everywhere else - even in my hands - and they just couldn't hit me.
Apheori (GM): Well, anyway, you turn on timestamps, and they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well).
Aziraphale: So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time.
Odd.
Apheori (GM): You also notice the plants and other decor seems to change between jumps.
Radek: No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.
Greibel: Stair fish...
Wen: Anything actually unusual within the clips? Fanged hams? Twisting walls? People growing appendages they shouldn't?
Greibel nods in agreement
Apheori (GM): He hasn't actually gotten to the past week yet.
Frezak (GM): Cripes.
Apheori (GM): When all of this started.
So... no.
Aziraphale: Radek: Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back
Radek: Certainly.
Apheori (GM): Recent stuff: Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Azir staring down a floating fish in abject horror. Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red.
Frezak (GM): I'll go look for another bit of clear dirt.
Apheori (GM): Everything is blue. Everything is black.
More empty rooms.
Wen: Do I remember staring down a floating fish?
Apheori (GM): No.
Aziraphale: Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.
Apheori (GM): That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.
Greibel: Hey, I saw her!
Apheori (GM): More empty rooms. Walls rippling.
Holes openening.
Static.
Wen: Jumps?
man, why is the weather always so nice when I'm playing D&D? >.>
Apheori (GM): Less jumps, just a lot of different cameras. He's just searching through them.
Radek: I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but...
Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.
The Gravedigger: Find a communications tower?
Aziraphale: Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
The Gravedigger: POwer it up, ping a sattelite?
Apheori (GM): For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.
The control core had fairly normal activity (but jumps) up until it had no activity.
Then there was just nothing.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
Nothing.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
Apheori (GM): Nothing.
Aziraphale: Hmm... That's odd
Is the footage of us accurate?
The Gravedigger: I better not have a beetle on my back.
Apheori (GM): You see yourself bending your sword of of shape, and such. Yeah, mostly accurate, but according to the footage only you and Gravy actually entered.
And then you left almost immediately.
Radek: Well, that can't be right...
The Gravedigger: YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS.
Aziraphale: No, it can't.
The Gravedigger: MAYBE.
Apheori (GM): You're not sure what you're watching after that.
Greibel: What if you're the ghost?
Apheori (GM): Because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
Aziraphale: but it keeps playing?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
It's oddly blue, however.
Aziraphale: I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts.
Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes?
Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment _was_ related to what happened...
Greibel: Oh man, this sounds groovy
The Gravedigger: You said they were bringing things here from another dimesion.
THe thing is just working backwards.
Taking things from here to there.
Radek: I know that they're best left not tampered with.
The Gravedigger: WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
Rhu: You've never been to a zoo?
The Gravedigger: No?
Rhu: I am so sorry.
The Gravedigger: THey don't let you dig holes in zoos.
Rhu: What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
rolling d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Griebel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
The Gravedigger: Mucking about with science.
Aziraphale: I'm not sure.
I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You get this intense interest in paint.
Aziraphale: Nothing appeared at the time.
Greibel: Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
Ganelon: This had better not be to sniff paint fumes.
Rhu: Did the shielding fail?
That's what shielding is for, right?
Greibel: Pah! I stopped sniffing paint weeks ago!
Rhu: Radek, you'd know more about this.
The Gravedigger: It's still in the ship.
Ganelon: Shielding?
Aziraphale: I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside
Greibel goes to the ship with the fanged peas and the paint can
Aziraphale: and then when we went outside everyone was just gone.
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
Greibel: Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Ganelon: Please explain, miss GM.
About shielding.
Apheori (GM): They were messing with dimensional stuff, so the room was shielded.
Ganelon: And what I should know.
Apheori (GM): So that if it did go wrong, it would be kept inside.
You'd probably know the theory, at least.
That... uh...
Ganelon: Well, he's asking mostly about the consequences.
Frezak (GM): So it got inverted.
Apheori (GM): Right, that could have happened, but all the science says that's impossible, that's exactly what the shielding would prevent.
Unless something else happened that was a lot bigger.
Aziraphale: so the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside
Ganelon: There actually is a path for artificers to specialize in portals and stuff, I'm just not taking it. Radek is no paragon of dimensional science.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Ganelon: But he could still know that easily enough.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Doesn't need to be a paragon of it. He's at least heard of it.
Aziraphale: he mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Aziraphale: and that if it happened it would have destabilised outside of the range, or something.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You grab the can of paint and start hugging it like it's your favourite ever.
Greibel: I LOVE THIS PAINT
I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
Frezak (GM): I will stand and look dubiously down at him.
Wen: I will go to the bathroom. brb.
Greibel takes some out and splashes it around a bit
Radek: It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments.
And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area.
Frezak (GM): I'll go loot more ships.
Radek: Much less... this wrong.
Rhu: Maybe the shielding exploded.
Maybe... what... is he doing?
Rhu stares at Greibel.
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can
The Gravedigger: being a stoner.
Radek: I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself
Rhu: Frezak: You find some random stuff: keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you find that.
Ganelon: Ooh, riddles.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Azir: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Ganelon: And computers.
Smart things.
Frezak (GM): CLOAK.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You realise that because of the paint can on your head, you can't see or breathe, so you pull it off. You're a bit confused as to why you did that, but only a little bit.
Greibel does that
Frezak (GM): I put it around my neck like a poncho.
Apheori (GM):
rolling 1d20 for Azir because he's out.
(
6
)
=
6
Greibel: Heeeey, nice cape, man
Apheori (GM): It makes you feel kind of fuzzy.
Greibel: Real Vincent Price
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
...
Apheori (GM): I'm totally going with that.
Wen: /me smashes the die
Ganelon: Yaaaay
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): WHOOO
Ganelon: Sometimes rolls of 1 can be very amusing and appropriate.
Apheori (GM): Azir: YOU SEE TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
Ganelon: Other times, Korik dies.
Aziraphale: AAAAAAGH
TENTACLES EVERYWHERE
Greibel: Whoa, WHERE?
Frezak (GM): I put the shiny cloak over his head.
Greibel: Tentacles are AWESOME
Aziraphale: EVERYWHERE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Aziraphale: mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
Apheori (GM): Aww.
The Gravedigger: Shhhhhh.
They're gone.
Wen: is it just me or does the stoner average much better rolls?
Greibel pats Azi reassuringly
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel much calmer, and realise you were freaking out over nothing. Even if the tentacles are real, they weren't hurting anyone.
Greibel: Don't worry bro, just ride it out
Frezak (GM): I'll take the thing off when he stops struggling.
Ganelon: Yeah, he does seem to roll really well.
Aziraphale stops struggling
Apheori (GM): Well is relative. >.>
Azir: d20
Ganelon: Meanwhile, Gravy has been trending towards good sanity.
Wen: if I get a one again..
Ganelon: And I think I've been the opposite.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Wen: \o/
Bear Soup Guy: ahahah such disparity
Ganelon: A lot of shitty d20s but good SCIENCE ROLLS.
Apheori (GM): Gravy also has a much higher base sanity than most of the others. Radek too.
Ganelon: I wasn't even aware this was a stat.
Frezak (GM): I do?
Apheori (GM): Oh. I shouldn't have told you that.
Wen: me neither. I've not really been playing insane.
Frezak (GM): okay >.>
Ganelon: But it would make sense for Gravy to be more...
Apheori (GM): ANYWAY MOVING ON.
Ganelon: ...
Frezak (GM): Well I sort of guessed.
Ganelon: Down to earth.
Wen: Snrk.
Apheori (GM): You don't have to be insane to sometimes lose it.
Ganelon grins.
Wen: well what did my 20 earn me?
Apheori (GM): Oh, right.
Gravy pulls off the cloak. You still see the tentacles, but realise they're not actually there. Greibel seems to be their king.
Then you shake your head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
Wen: excellent.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
The Gravedigger: It's like dealing with children.
SO, where do we go now?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
The Gravedigger: MADNESS
10
Apheori (GM): Also these aren't all sanity checks. Sometimes I'm making you roll other things and just not telling you. I hope you don't mind.
The Gravedigger: THe old lab or try to send a report back?
Apheori (GM): What was Radek doing? Radek was doing things.
Wen: I'm pretty sure I escaped all the input properly. >.>
Aziraphale: I don't want to go back to that building.
Wen: would there be anything useful in the shielded room where the experiment was done?
Ganelon: I was just looking at footage on this computer.
Apheori (GM): Wen: Maybe. You wouldn't necessarily know the difference. There was certainly... stuff.
Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Oh hey, it was above 10 this time.
Apheori (GM): You also find the invisible shop that is there but isn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
It's full of fallen leaves.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Ganelon: Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision."
My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
Ganelon: I'm ready to move on.
Frezak (GM): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
So, comm tower, then?
Unless anyone has a better idea?
Apheori (GM): Your perception checks mean something.
Aziraphale: Sure, let's go to the comm tower.
Frezak (GM): But we have no idea whether anything we see is real, or what level of reality we're talking about.
Apheori (GM): From the map, it looks like that's in the building opposite the one you went to before.
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: LAVA LAMP SKY.
...this is a friendly reminder from your dm that it looks totally awesome.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Greibel stares absently at the lava lamp sky
Wen: what can we do about it though
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking
Apheori (GM): Azir: The cracks are still there. The light is still wrong. It makes you kind of ill.
Aziraphale stops looking, shrugs
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Everyone: You head for the building, I suppose.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): Okay, you all head for the building, but there's a large chunk of metal blocking the steps up to the door.
Aziraphale: Radek: Would the toy gun be able to blast through that?
Frezak (GM): TIME TO FIND OUT.
Aziraphale: ...crap. the DM left.
oh nm
Apheori (GM): Chromium crashed.
So you want to try blasting it?
Aziraphale: Let's examine it first, I think
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
See if our manly muscles can dislodge it.
Or if we can walk through it >.>
Greibel: If we try enough, we probably can walk through it
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly
Greibel: The universe is changing...
Rhu walks through it.
Frezak (GM): SEE?
Radek: I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
Rhu: Yep.
Frezak (GM): I'll try, but CAREFULLY.
Don't want to run into a physical barrier.
Unlesss....
Apheori (GM): Gravy tries to walk through it but finds it solid.
Frezak (GM): It's only mad people that can go trhough it.
I'M TOO SANE.
aaaaaaaaa
Aziraphale: let's all try?
Apheori (GM): Everyone: Rolld20.
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
15
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Greibel makes it. The rest of you don't.
SANE PEOPLE.
Apheori (GM) points and laughs.
Radek grumbles to himself.
Frezak (GM): Hag.
Greibel: ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
Frezak (GM): I'd like to see if I can muscle it.
Aziraphale: what's the block like?
Radek: I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
Apheori (GM): A twisted lump of thick metal.
Aziraphale: does it look like it can be blasted through?
Apheori (GM): It looks like it was blasted through and that's how it got here... but it also looks like it was specifically designed to resist such things.
Gravy: d20.
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
19
Apheori (GM): Well, that's boring.
You try to move it and nothing happens.
Frezak (GM): Huh.
Aziraphale tries to talk to it
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Talk to it.
Aziraphale: Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass?
...I have candy!
Block of metal: Hey, sexy.
Greibel: That's the spirit, holy brother
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Block of metal: What kind of candy?
Aziraphale: King-sized Snickers.
Block of metal: Oooo, you are a babe.
Aziraphale: you can have it if you let us pass!
Block of metal: Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
Wen: gods XD
Frezak (GM): NO.
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
Frezak (GM): I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL.
Bear Soup Guy: XD XD XD
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
Aziraphale: This isn't the first wall that talked to me..
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
Aziraphale: I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Wen: aw.
Frezak (GM): I'm assuming we didn't hear the metal talk back?
Apheori (GM): Right.
Frezak (GM): Well', I start picking people up and putting them down further away.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You walk into the wall.
chunk.
Thing.
Frezak (GM): Wait.
So that's just me and Radek, now?
Apheori (GM): As you pass through, it makes strange squelching noises.
Frezak (GM): EW
Apheori (GM): You feel rather dirty.
Frezak (GM): SOiled.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You can see the others on the other side, higher up on the steps.
But yes.
Wen: she does this on purpose >.>
Apheori (GM): >.>
Bear Soup Guy: =D
The Gravedigger: MOve aside, crazy people!
IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE
Apheori (GM): The universe hates paladins. Any opportunity to mess with the paladin!
Aziraphale: well, let's get out of the way.
Frezak (GM): FIRE IN THE HOOOOLE
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
3
WHOOO
Apheori (GM): Er, how out of the way did the others get?
Aziraphale: I went a fair bit.
Given my cautious and conservative and risk-averse nature.
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu and I have presumably been walking up the stairs this whole time
Apheori (GM): Okay, so Azir's off to the side and the other two are up by the door.
Gravy: You shoot a fireball at the metal, only to have it go right through it and explode on the stairs below Greibel and Rhu.
The Gravedigger: SORRY.
Greibel: Hey man, that stuff's dangerous
Block of metal sobs quietly.
The Gravedigger: TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH?
DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE.
JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
Greibel: Dude, you're talking to a metal wall
And /I'm/ the crazy one for pouring paint on my head
The Gravedigger: Azi talked to it.
You didn't call HIM crazy!
Greibel: Well Azi is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
The Gravedigger: Talk to them, apparently.
Greibel: Apparently
Aziraphale: HEY!
I don't normally talk to walls.
The Gravedigger: So you SAY.
Greibel: I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
Radek: To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
The Gravedigger: You want to try, Radek?
I'lll let you have a turn.
Radek: Very well.
Ganelon: Straight d20?
Apheori (GM): Might as well.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Frezak (GM): GORRAM
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear the wall chunk screaming.
The fireball goes right through again, though.
Ganelon: I'll hand the weapon back.
Aziraphale shudders slightly
Frezak (GM): Okay, there any windows?
Greibel: (to Azi) It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
Apheori (GM): No windows, but you might be able to just climb over it if you tried.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly
Frezak (GM): I'll give that a try?
Athletics?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Frezak (GM): I'll stow my shield for this.
rolling 1D20+8
(
18
)
+8
=
26
Apheori (GM): You climb over the thing.
Leaving Radek behind.
Ganelon: I'll approach the wall.
Frezak (GM): And proposition it.
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk sits there.
Radek: Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk continues to sit there.
d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Apheori (GM): Your doubt in what you're trying to do remains, and the wall chunk likewise remains stolid.
Frezak (GM): You want me to throw you a rope to help you climb over?
Radek: You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Frezak (GM): Are you Intimidating a wall?
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle.
Rhu: Or you could use a rope to climb over.
Ganelon: Yes.
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Greibel: Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
Apheori (GM): SANE MAN.
Ganelon: Still solid, then.
Apheori (GM): The wall starts trembling in fear. You all see it.
Frezak (GM): What.
Radek: Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): The wall is still trembling.
The Gravedigger: I have rope!
Ganelon: I'll poke it again.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear it apologising.
The poke goes through.
Ganelon: Then I'll attempt to pass through.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
COME ON
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
Frezak (GM) sighs.
Bear Soup Guy is enjoying this
Frezak (GM): With this many rolls, chances of him getting past like this are pretty slim.
Apheori (GM): His chances were getting better each time. This is how the descent into madness works.
Greibel: That actually makes sense
err
OOC
Ganelon: Well, what happens?
Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek, you walk into the wall. It resists, but you're sick and tired of this and manage to pass through anyway. When you come out the other side, however, you're covered in a strange metlalic film.
Radek: Fascinating.
Frezak (GM): Delightful.
Greibel: Groovy
Ganelon: Unless it's inhibiting my ability to breathe.
Apheori (GM): You realise you can't breathe.
Frezak (GM): That might be an undesirable outcome.
That's bad.
Apheori (GM): Then you realise it doesn't seem to matter?
Frezak (GM): Worse.
Apheori (GM): You feel fine. You feel better than you have in quite awhile, in fact.
Ganelon: Nah, he'd be pretty cool with that. Breathing sucks anyway, just like eating.
The Gravedigger: SO are you a robot now?
Greibel: He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard
Radek: I haven't the faintest idea.
Rhu: Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
Frezak (GM): They made him eat his own sausages.
Radek: Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
Frezak (GM): onwards.
Ganelon: All things considered this is a very acceptable state of affairs.
Rhu: The door won't open.
Frezak (GM): graaah
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Oh, whatever.
Rhu tried the door and it wouldn't open.
Frezak (GM): What kind of door is it?
What kind of locK?
Apheori (GM): Slidey door. Glass. Electric lock.
Frezak (GM): Radek?
Finangle,
Ganelon: Messing with electronics then?
Frezak (GM): Anyone have a better idea?
Greibel: Or we could break the glass...
Greibel taps the glass with his staff
Rhu hits it with whatever his weapon is.
Apheori (GM): It cracks.
Frezak (GM): Rhu has a Maul.
Apheori (GM): The maul cracked it.
Frezak (GM): great
Apheori (GM): Do something.
Ganelon: Just thinking.
Frezak (GM): Well we go in!
Ganelon: Cracked or shattered?
Greibel pushes it
Ganelon: Because I'm not opposed to at least testing this weird metallic stuff against sharp glass.
Apheori (GM): Cracked.
And now it's more cracked.
Greibel: Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man
Radek: Gladly.
Ganelon: I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
Or glass surface, if you prefer.
Apheori (GM): XD
You slam into it and it partly melts and partly shatters.
Some bits stick to you and melt into the strange metallic film.
Ganelon: He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Alright, I'll climb through if a suitable hole can be made.
Greibel: Wicked
Apheori (GM): It's pretty holed now.
Big enough for the others to follow as well.
Frezak (GM): I do so.
Greibel does so
Apheori (GM): You're in a hallway. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
Greibel: Hey, what day is it?
Frezak (GM): The sign is misspelled?
Ganelon: I was just about to ask.
Greibel Greibel rubs his stomach absently
Apheori (GM): You don't know. The sun disappeared and the stars never came out and now the sky was just glowing weirdly with cracks.
Frezak: Sure, why not.
Greibel: Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
Radek: We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to.
Well, you can. I'll do without.
Frezak (GM): Stairs going up?
Apheori (GM): Up and down.
Frezak (GM): I go up.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
5
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): Gravy and Rhu hear strange noises and what might be voices as you enter the stairwell.
The Gravedigger: I hear noises.
Rhu: Voices?
The Gravedigger: Maybe.
Radek: I don't.
Rhu: Rattling, creaking, scraping...
The Gravedigger: Awesome.
Let's keep going.
Aziraphale: I hear nothing.
Greibel: I always hear things
But no more than usual
Apheori (GM): You climb a lot.
Frezak (GM): okay.
Apheori (GM): Azir and Rhu fall behind because it's pretty exhausting.
Absolutely nothing weird happens.
Wen: They don't wait for us? The bastards.
Apheori (GM): Eh, you're not that far behind.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I assume it would be normal for me to be falling behind too.
Apheori (GM): It probably would be normal, but you're not.
Frezak (GM): I'm the apex of physical prowess.
Apheori (GM): You and Greibel both.
...somehow.
Well, aside from the strength.
Frezak (GM): Smoking is apparently great.
Apheori (GM): But nevermind that.
Bear Soup Guy: It sure is
Ganelon: Greibel's a pretty tough guy, actually.
He's the second most durable in the party, if not the best armored (that would be Azi)
Frezak (GM): I KEEP WALKING.
Apheori (GM): So you guys probably slow down for the others?
Okay, he doesn't.
Wen: I have a feeling that the DM is going to drag me out and shoot me or something by deliberately leaving me with an NPC
>.>
Aziraphale walks more quickly
Apheori (GM): Eh, the NPC is supposed to be a PC; the player just isn't here.
Ganelon: In this crazy place?
Apheori (GM): But you can never count on anything.
Ganelon: If you need to be removed, it wouldn't be unexpected for you to just disappear.
Apheori (GM): Dude, that shouldn't be unexpected regardless.
Ganelon: Hyper-dimensional manhole.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU'VE REACHED THE MANHOLE
Oh sorry
Apheori (GM): Fortunately you have not encountered any maholes.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I wouldn't trust one to be stable for an instant.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you all keep climbing. Rhu gets left a bit behind.
Manholes are never stable.
This is why they stay in the ground.
Everyone roll a d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
16
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
4
)
=
4
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Wen: BSG!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Frezak (GM): great
Wen: crap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu collapses.
Aziraphale: Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
The Gravedigger: Well? Pick him up!
Apheori (GM): Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off.
Greibel: Oik!
Aziraphale: I think we'd better take a rest.
Frezak (GM): Blaaargh.
Aziraphale: Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: There is something very important there and you MUST get to it.
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door
Apheori (GM): Having a wildshaping crazy person is awesome.
Wen: Typical. If someone rolls a 1, bad things happen. 19? Nope, nothing, nothing at all. It's just like life.
Gotta get lucky to live normally, but a bit of rotten luck can get you down
/nick Marvin >.>
Frezak (GM): I grab the swarm.
Apheori (GM): Make a grabby thing.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+4
(
18
)
+4
=
22
Vs... AC or reflex? I forget.
Ganelon: Reflex.
Apheori (GM): Do swarms get extra anything? For being swarms.
Frezak (GM): Nope.
4E is weird that way.
Ganelon: Strangely, not against grabs.
Apheori (GM): Great. You now have a swarm of bats.
Did anyone get Rhu?
Aziraphale: Can we get him to turn back?
Frezak (GM): I drag the swarm of bats up the stairs.
Aziraphale: I'm dragging him
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You're almost to the floor with the important things.
Frezak (GM): great.
Apheori (GM): The bats seriously struggle as you pull them away from that door.
Frezak (GM): I seriously pull.
Opposed strength checks?
Apheori (GM): Oh, you win.
But they like that door a lot.
Frezak (GM): Well, tough.
Aziraphale: Maybe we should check out that door?
The Gravedigger: Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful.
Always pointing out useful things.
Aziraphale: Well, why else did you bring him?
The Gravedigger: Not my choice.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Ganelon: Poor Greibel. Nobody ever believes him.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Apheori (GM): Okay, nothing changes with them.
Greibel flaps around
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
The Gravedigger: MADNESS
18
Apheori (GM): You make it to the door you want and spill out into the corridor.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Frezak (GM): great
Apheori (GM): Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Aziraphale follows the blood
Apheori (GM): Azir: You realise there are footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with it. They appear to be hooflike.
Ganelon: I don't object to this course of action.
Apheori (GM): everyone but Azir: d20
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
10
Aziraphale: guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Apheori (GM): Rhu recovers and gets up.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu: This feels like a dead end.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You calm down and forget whatever had you so agitated.
Aziraphale: Still batty though?
Bear Soup Guy: Am I bats?
Frezak (GM): Fells like a dead end to Rhu, looks like what to the rest of us?
Apheori (GM): You're still bats unless you stop being bats.
The rest of you don't feel anything in particular about it, though it's pretty messy.
Bear Soup Guy: I stop being bats
Ganelon: Can I even get messy at this point?
Apheori (GM): Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
Wen: where does the blood lead?
Apheori (GM): Gan: You don't know.
Ganelon: Well then.
Apheori (GM): Azir follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut.
Aziraphale cautiously attempts to turn the handle
Apheori (GM): Azir reaches for the handle, and the door opens at the pressure. Not even latched.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors.
Aziraphale: Eugh.
Apheori (GM): You realise this was probably the room you were after, too.
Greibel: Like I always say
Apheori (GM): There's some equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
Greibel: The room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened
Rhu: Hazz'ridan.
The Gravedigger: Huh.
Greibel: Come again?
Rhu: A dead end.
Greibel: Well...
The Gravedigger: Some things might still work.
Apheori (GM): SANITY EVERYONE.
The Gravedigger: 19
Apheori (GM): Lots of blood, horrible smell, very awful.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: Oh bugger
Frezak (GM): graah
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
...
Apheori (GM): Greibel disappears.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Aziraphale: GREIBELLLLL
Apheori (GM): Rhu and Azir feel the room seems to... slide.
Aziraphale backs out of the room
Apheori (GM): Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Sorry, late.
Apheori (GM): Radek feels the same thing, and falls over, landing in the blood.
Ganelon: Bwuh.
Apheori (GM): Some of it is absorbed into the shiny suit.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will leave the room and sit down with his head in his hands.
Ganelon: At this rate, my shiny suit will surely be ruined.
Apheori (GM): Rhu backs away and runs into Gravy.
Ganelon: Am I still conscious and in control of my actions?
Apheori (GM): Yeah. You just fell over.
Ganelon: I suppose I'll stand up and look around, then.
Apheori (GM): There's less blood now.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything.
You might be able to get parts, but they'd be bloody parts.
The blood also doesn't smell quite right. You're not sure what kind it is.
Ganelon: I don't have an easy way to clean stuff other than people, strangely.
Guess I'll just walk outside.
Unless there's a roll I can do to identify this blood.
Wen: I think aside from Greibel all of us are outside.
Ganelon: That doesn't seem like something Radek would be good at, though.
Apheori (GM): Everyone is in the hall. Greibel is gone. You can identify the blood from outside.
That's true.
Greibel might have been the best bet with his nature and crap, though maybe not.
(From Aziraphale): can I disappear for 10-15 minutes or so? Or is there a plot element involving me coming up?
Radek: I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
Aziraphale: Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
(To Wen): Best have you around, though. Perhaps we should all just break for a bit? I could use some lunch.
(From Aziraphale): either way. Your call.
Apheori (GM): Let's take a break. Wen needs to do something and I need lunch.
Radek: I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
Rhu: But?
Radek: Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
Rhu: Bah!
This place!
It pleases Hazz'ridan, I'm sure.
Ganelon: Actually, radios. Still unusable?
Apheori (GM): Good question.
LUNCH FIRST.
Apheori (GM) runs away.
Ganelon: Sure.
Apheori (GM): Wen: DO YOUR THING.
Bear Soup Guy: Bow chicka bow wow
Wen twiddles his thumbs
Apheori (GM): Okay, back.
Peeling shrimp and cleaning cilantro, these things can't be rushed. I know this because I tried. >.<
Wen: sounds exotic
Apheori (GM): If by exotic, you mean what I have every day when I'm too lazy to do anything else, then yes.
Okay, so is everyone else still here?
Gan was going to try radios...
Ganelon: I'm here.
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Wen: Frezak?
Apheori (GM): I guess the Gravedigger dozed off.
Ganelon: I'm sure Frezak will be back.
Apheori (GM): Aye.
So radios?
Frezak (GM): Well, radios?
I'm not trying mine, since all mine did was scream at me.
Ganelon: Radios.
Aziraphale checks his
Wen: keep in mind mine's probably local, not spaceship stuff.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Ganelon: Let's see if anyone can get a hold of Houdini here.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Wen: ...
Apheori (GM): Azir hears a suggestive voice come out of his and try to chat him up.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Wen: I resolutely ignore it and stuff the thing back in my pocket.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: I'll try mine.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon: Perhaps it will whisper unknowable secrets to me.
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Apheori (GM): It turns on and complains about the low signal strength.
Bear Soup Guy: Bloody service providers
Apheori (GM): It locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Wen: what about Greibel's?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't find it.
Aziraphale: Well, this isn't very helpful.
(To Greibel): So I guess you're probably having an adventure somewhere weird while all of this is going on.
Aziraphale: How are we going to look for Greibel?
Bear Soup Guy: http://data2.whicdn.com/images/69136546/large.jpg
Radek: Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
Rhu: What's the local signal range?
The Gravedigger: eh, we can just leave.
he'll come around eventually.
Ganelon: What IS the local signal range?
Enough to cover this building, I'm sure.
Apheori (GM): You check and find it should cover most of the city.
Frezak (GM): Not that any of the dimensions mean anything at all here.
Aziraphale: So Greibel's just gone.
The Gravedigger: Or not.
Space and time here are a bloody mess.
Nothing means anything.
Wen: try dialing 911? >.> would that work?
Radek scoffs. "Literally bloody, in this case."
Wen: (or the Srathi equivalent)
The Gravedigger: Ho. Ho. Ho.
Apheori (GM): There's noone to call. You would have tried when you first found everyone gone.
Wen: well, my radio wasn't working.
but okay.
The Gravedigger: We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Well, whatever. There's nothing in range. >.<
The Gravedigger: I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
Aziraphale: Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
Radek: Nothing that hasn't been destroyed.
You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
Aziraphale: Fair enough.
Let's go then.
Ganelon: I consent to this "going."
Frezak (GM): Clomp, clomp, clomp.
Aziraphale: (poor Greibel)
Wen: so do we make it outside minus Greibel?
Apheori (GM): Roll d20s.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
The Gravedigger: Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
18
)
=
18
Ganelon: SUPER SANE
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
The Gravedigger: 12
Apheori (GM): You all find another exit out the other side of the building. Do you take it, or continue back down to the exit with the chunk of metal on the stairs?
Frezak (GM): Does this other exit appear obstructed at all?
Apheori (GM): Naw. Seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Frezak (GM): Sure?
Guys?
Ganelon: Sure.
Aziraphale: Yeah, why not
so long as it doesn't try to talk to me
Aziraphale shudders
Ganelon: Poor paladin, ever assaulted by temptations.
From inanimate objects.
Apheori (GM): And Radek starts glowing.
At least Azir thinks he does.
Radek: Hm.
Ganelon: Oh. He doesn't notice?
Apheori (GM): Radek probably notices something, but not the glow itself.
Aziraphale: Er, Radek, are you alright?
Radek: I feel fine.
The Gravedigger: His skin is made of metal and glass and blood.
Of course he's fine.
Aziraphale: well, only he's glowing
that or I'm going insane, or both
Probably both.
Radek: With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
Apheori (GM): You all hear a loud crack from one of the trees in the park.
Greibel and a branch fall out.
Frezak (GM): Great.
We find a stoner.
Greibel: Ow!
Wen: is he in humanoid shape?
Frezak (GM): How else would we recognise him?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
The Gravedigger: Hey, Greibel.
Greibel: What happened, man?
Radek: You disappeared again.
Greibel: Oh yeah
it was so peaceful...
I was in a field of nature.
And I became one with the nature.
The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
Radek: Welcome back to reality.
Greibel: But this was reality too!
Radek: Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us.
At least physically, if it can be helped.
Greibel: Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
Rhu: And how did you wind up over here?
The Gravedigger: magic.
Rhu: Of all the places. Pretty specific.
(To Bear Soup Guy): You may notice this tree looks suspiciously similar to the one you were under before, though a bit less healthy.
Radek: How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
Greibel: Hey man, I was sitting under this tree.
For...ever, it feels like
Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
Radek: The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
Greibel: Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality
Aziraphale: So what do we do?
Rhu: Pray for a dead end.
Radek: I'd rather a solution.
Aziraphale: Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
Ganelon: Ha. Chemistry joke
The Gravedigger: Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
Rhu: Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
Greibel: Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
Aziraphale: Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck
maybe your god can help us?
Rhu: I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
Aziraphale: Oh.
The Gravedigger: Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
Rhu: There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
The Gravedigger: That sounds just great.
Rhu: It does?
The Gravedigger: Let's pray so that we can mope.
Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
Rhu: Yes! It will.
The Gravedigger: I'm going to go look for a boat.
(From Aziraphale): My god is called Carriya, yes? I lost the link >.>
Greibel: Hey, I remember boats
(From Aziraphale): law, order and process.. I think?
(To Wen): Yeah.
(From Aziraphale): okay.
Aziraphale looks at the sky
(To Wen): You also probably consider Hazz'ridan to be a bit of a joke.
(From Aziraphale): I'm sure they are.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
(To Wen): Yes.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Wen: >.<
Apheori (GM): Gravedigger: The borders of the park have car-ship thingies docked at them.
Ganelon: We need to put on blinders.
Apheori (GM): They look fairly intact.
Frezak (GM): I'll check to see if any have keys in and/or seem intact after prodding and examination.
Greibel: Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Apheori (GM): Azir: You see the sky glowing with that same eiery glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
Azir: As you watch, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye.
Aziraphale: AAAAAGH.
Apheori (GM): Azir: It stares directly at you.
At, and possibly through.
Aziraphale averts his eyes
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You poke a car and it doesn't turn to dust. It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat.
Greibel is disappointed but will accept this positive turn of fate
Ganelon: Oh, neat.
Frezak (GM): 3
Apheori (GM): Rhu is just staring at the sky in horrow.
Gravy, fortunately for him, isn't looking at that. Yay Gravy.
Also Gravy doesn't find any vehicles that look like they'd work without hotwiring, though they do look functional.
Greibel tries the door of the car thing
Apheori (GM): Door opens, and the roof retracts. It's a fairly nice convertible thing.
Greibel tries to start it
Ganelon: I'll head over and check this functioning vehicle out.
Apheori (GM): It asks for a password.
Gan: d20
Frezak (GM): Swordfish.
Greibel smacks the steering wheel/column/joystick/whatever in frustration
Apheori (GM): It accepts the smack as the password.
Greibel: Nice!
I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye
I found a thing guys!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Frezak (GM): I'll head over and look.
Apheori (GM): Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before.
Radek: Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
Apheori (GM): Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
Greibel: d20
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Ganelon: Preferable to staring, certainly.
Rhu recovers and joins the others at the ship-car-thing.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You notice the sky.
It's HORRIBLE.
Greibel: Radek take the wheel
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY
THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN
Aziraphale: Yes, yes, take it easy now.
Radek, does the ship work?
Rhu: It's just staring.
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car thing
The Gravedigger: Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Greibel shivers in terror
Ganelon: Let's try it out.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
Ganelon: Do the controls work?
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Damn.
Apheori (GM): The controls refuse to cooperate.
Aziraphale: Does the radio work?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat you and etc fades.
It still looks horrible, but you just don't look at it.
Greibel calms a bit
Greibel: Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Ganelon: Sure, I'll try hitting it.
Apheori (GM): You hit it. Nothing really changes, but you wonder if maybe you just botched it at first?
Ganelon: May I try again?
Apheori (GM): So Radek and Gravy are in the front, and everyone else is piled on the back, I suppose.
And yeah, you can.
Do it.
Roll.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Alas!
Poor Radek, I knew him well.
Frezak (GM): can i lean over and poke the things?
Apheori (GM): You keep trying and it finally cooperates after a minute or two.
Frezak (GM): oh, good.
Apheori (GM): You can poke all the things if you want.
Frezak (GM): Nah, i'm good now.
Aziraphale: Just don't break it
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
Greibel: Road trip, guys
Radek: Alright! Destination?
Apheori (GM): WHOO!
Go somewhere!
Aziraphale: wait wait
Frezak (GM): Check out one of the spaceship wrecks.
Aziraphale: does the radio work?
Ganelon: Don't worry guys, I might be an old person behind the wheel, but I'm at least reasonably sane and not on drugs!
Frezak (GM): Ideally the one that's not at the bottom of the sea.
THat you know of, Gan.
Rhu: No, you're just part robot.
Greibel: Tune in some jams!
Ganelon: That I know of!
And sure, I'll mess with the radio.
Not expecting much of a broadcast.
Just more madness.
Apheori (GM): The radio buzzes and picks up some automated transmissions.
Aziraphale: I meant like, for communication. Not music.
Or does this ship not have that?
Apheori (GM): Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises...
Aziraphale: eee.
Radek: Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting /news/.
Frezak (GM): LIke a giant bug monster or a Geiger counter?
Apheori (GM): The latter.
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Just. Great.
Wen: what's the range of this thing?
Apheori (GM): Should be able to cover the planet given time; the real issue seems to be speed since it's an open-top.
Ganelon: I think he meant the radio.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Who knows.
Ganelon: But hell if I know that answer.
Aziraphale: I meant the ship. But sure, the radio too.
Oh.
Apheori (GM): Unless any of you specialise in leisure boats.
Frezak (GM): So, wreck?
Rhu: The sky...
Ganelon: Can't say I do.
Aziraphale: Sure.
Ganelon: Wreck sounds good unless someone else has a suggestion.
Radek: Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
Rhu: It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky.
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Apheori (GM): The sky opens its eye and stares at you.
It seems it did not approve of your rude gestures. 
Ganelon: Good!
Apheori (GM): XD
Ganelon: Let's get a move on.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Okay, so you fly the boat down toward the sea.
Do you know which way the wreck was?
Frezak (GM): We can compare on maps.
I'm assuming we made SOME sort of notes about the places we intended to visit.
Ganelon: Well, I as a player do not. It's merely a destination to me.
Apheori (GM): Does your character? >.>
Frezak (GM): I was looking at it on a map a few hours ago.
Apheori (GM): Because if so I'm just inclined to say you go there, have you all roll sanity checks on the way, and move to the destination.
Great. You all go there.
Roll.
Ganelon: He was rather interested in the anomalous growth of power cells.
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Frezak (GM): 7
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Bear Soup Guy: Gonna be a bumpy ride...
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Rhu: Greibel and Radek see another city in the distance on the way.
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you see it.
Everyone else feels the sky staring at them.
Aziraphale: This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador
Rhu: Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking...
The ways are blind.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You wind up flying to the other city instead of the wreckage.
Greibel: Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles
Apheori (GM): Radek: You realise this before you actually get there, though.
Ganelon: OLD MAN AT THE WHEEEL
Could we still reach the wreckage in a reasonable amount of time?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
Ganelon: I'll turn that way, then.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Ganelon: Radek would not remark about this to the others.
Apheori (GM): Everyone roll d20 again.
Heh.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Apheori (GM): Huh.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Frezak (GM): 17
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now a herd of pygmy moose in the back seat.
Frezak (GM): Wow. What a surprise.
Apheori (GM): Azir is hearing voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Wen: Oh good, I thought the seat cushion was going to talk to me.
Apheori (GM): Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking.
So. Wreckage. It's a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating.
There are large blobulous things growing off it.
If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they're hollow.
Frezak (GM): Any way we can check that they're... volatile?
SHort of throwing crap at them?
Ganelon: Also, do we have a place to land?
Apheori (GM): The vehicle hovers, so you can park it wherever.
Frezak: You could shoot them. Or someone could magic at them.
Gan: They look like the power cells, but now they're a lot bigger. And they've multiplied.
Ganelon: Find an isolated one first. If they explode, I want them.
Frezak (GM): And that is the last resort.
>.>
DO we have no other way?
Can we NAture it?
Ganelon: I could attempt magic at them.
Frezak (GM): To see if it ressembles explosive plants or something?
Apheori (GM): There's one near the edge that's fairly alone.
You hover over it.
Ganelon: Let's go for magic first. You've said pretty much everything is magical of some sort before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Do a magic!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
13
)
+10
=
23
Apheori (GM): And what exactly were you doing?
Ganelon: Trying to see what's happened to them.
Apheori (GM): Right, but how, I mean. What kind of magic did you use?
TEEEELL ME ALL.
Also the sky is still staring at you.
Ganelon: Well, I'm not attacking it.
Apheori (GM): >.>
Ganelon: I'll shoot the sky later.
I don't know what you mean by "kind of magic", though.
Apheori (GM): You discern that they are alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. They're growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy.
Ganelon: It's arcane magic with a structured and technical bias.
Is each glob a separate entity?
As in, could one be separated?
From... itself.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be, though they're also connected. Even if you took one away, the others would still... be... well, you're not quite sure.
Everyone: Blobbulous things glow at you.
Ganelon: I'm thinking more like cutting a piece off of one.
Apheori (GM): These, I mean.
You could try.
You don't know what would happen, or if it'd even notice.
Aziraphale stares
Radek: Anyone have a knife?
Aziraphale: I have a sword
that work?
Radek: Well enough.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You have knives.
Give him a knife.
Aziraphale: Oh, I do?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife
Ganelon: Alright, let's bottle up some living power cell... flesh.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Frezak (GM): 7
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Flock of moose. Roll.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You're a happy flock of moose.
Greibel: :D
Apheori (GM): Rhu pets the flock of moose.
Radek: The entities start pulsating.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
Before or after I've cut into one?
Apheori (GM): You haven't cut yet.
You were about to, and then this happened.
Ganelon: Do these things still contain power?
Apheori (GM): Well, they're glowing.
So they probably contain at least some.
Ganelon: I don't know about future fuel cells, but all fuel is fundamentally a compressed power source.
Apheori (GM): They've been growing, though, so who knows what that means.
Ganelon: And I'd rather they not explode.
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Ganelon: So I'll steer us away.
Not too far that I can't observe.
Rhu: Weren't you going to get a sample?
Radek: They started moving.
These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Azir: You saw no moving.
Just so you know.
Greibel nuzzles everyone
Apheori (GM): Oh gods I love the swarms.
This is awesome.
Aziraphale: I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see
Aziraphale sulks
Rhu puts a moose on Azir's lap.
Radek: Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Ganelon: Rifle time.
Aziraphale watches attentively
Apheori (GM): Which do you want to shoot?
Ganelon: The one we were near.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm
Ganelon: Shall I roll it?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You roll too.
Ganelon: Hmph.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Radek: You missed.
On the plus side they quit moving.
Ganelon: Reload and try again.
[Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Wow, it couldn't even be lower?
Apheori (GM): It could if you try again.
Radek: Hmph.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
9
)
+3+5+0
=
17
Radek: I need to tune this thing.
Apheori (GM): You hit the glowing mutated power cell and it just sort of deflates.
Ganelon: Still glowing?
Greibel squeels with delight
Apheori (GM): Then the others are getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the air around.
Frezak (GM): Bags of magic.
Apheori (GM): The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
Radek: Interesting reaction.
Apheori (GM): The the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place.
An emptiness that is pulling your vehicle toward it as well.
Ganelon: WELP NO TIME FOR SCIENCE
RUNNING TIME NOW
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: BRB DISHES
Frezak (GM): 5
Apheori (GM): Okay, lessee...
Frezak (GM): Gravy is snoozing.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Radek turns the thing around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises, but you're far enough away that the pull isn't significant once you're actually moving.
But Rhu starts screaming.
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak
Apheori (GM): It doesn't help.
Aziraphale: Fah.
Frezak (GM): I AM THE PIONEER OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL REMEDY TECHNIQUE.
HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL.
Ganelon: The haunted look of Azi's token is becoming a lot more relatable each day.
Frezak (GM): yeah, he's a real downer;
Apheori (GM): Azi was here for days. Now you all are feeling it too!
Frezak (GM): i'm not.
Gravy's napping.
Apheori (GM): The screaming didn't wake him?
Frezak (GM): He's thouroughly bored by the whole affair now.
Ganelon: Well, I'm feeling pretty awesome with this metallic skin-coating, really.
Frezak (GM): Ah.
Well now he's probably grumpy at being woken up.
Not perturbed other than by the volume.
Apheori (GM): You stop away from the pull of the... hole that opened up. Rhu is still screaming.
Frezak (GM): Can I lean over and knock him out for a bit?
Apheori (GM): Certainly.
But don't kill him.
Frezak (GM): Just a bop on the head with a shovel.
Apheori (GM): Roll a shovel bopping.
Aziraphale: Is this wise?
Frezak (GM): Roll to bop:
rolling 1D20+6
(
10
)
+6
=
16
Just a light tap.
Bear Soup Guy: BOP ROLL
Also back and caught up
Apheori (GM): You successfully knock him out.
Greibel: Roll a d20.
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
Apheori (GM): The screaming has stopped, at least.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): You are now a rather agitated flock of pygmy moose. Probably something to do with the screaming.
But you are aware enough that you could stop being moose if you want to.
Greibel runs around a bit
Greibel: Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess
It sure was fun being moose though
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH
Radek: I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
Frezak (GM): Can we eaxamine the ship at all?
Apheori (GM): The one you're in?
Frezak (GM): No, the other one.
Ganelon: It's gone.
Apheori (GM): The one that turned into a horrible hole in space?
Frezak (GM): Oh, right.
>.>
Well, I have no idea.
What to do.
Ganelon: I'll head towards that city my mad self was so intent on visiting before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Everyone roll a d20.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Frezak (GM): 13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Azir: You each become entirely convinced the other is insane.
Wen: well, I'd be right.
Apheori (GM): And trying to kill you.
Yes.
Wen: Oh crap.
Greibel: O_O
Frezak (GM) groans.
Greibel shuffles over to Frezak and tries to wake him up faster
Greibel: err, to the gravedigger
The Gravedigger: WHAT?
Apheori (GM): Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
The Gravedigger: Oh, come ON.
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword
Radek: Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
Apheori (GM): Radek: Do you just ignore this and go to the city?
Aziraphale: Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
Greibel: Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
Apheori (GM): Because you're almost there.
The Gravedigger: You're all insane.
Now shut up.
Greibel: Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS
Apheori (GM): Rhu is still screaming.
Aziraphale hits again
Apheori (GM): Rhu runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead.
Bear Soup Guy: Also I should probably leave soon
Apheori (GM): Bah.
Bear Soup Guy: Well y'know, maybe
Like if we're gonna play a lot longer I can just stay
Ganelon: I wouldn't mind. I do have other things that I'd like to do.
Bear Soup Guy: But if we'll be finished soon or other people need to do stuff or something then I should probably go to the store
Ganelon: Writing things.
Bear Soup Guy: mmm
Wen: I think all of our in-game characters are feeling pretty miserable >.>
Apheori (GM): I wonder if it's too late for me to go to the store too.
Heh.
Wen: even Greibel
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
Apheori (GM): So you want to leave them like this?
Ganelon: Well, he's being beat on by a sword.
Apheori (GM): Preserved in their misery?
Ganelon: Like pickles?
Frezak (GM): I don't see it improving.
Wen: I'm fine with either that, or up to the next save point, so to speak.
Frezak (GM): And Gravy is more bored than miserable.
Wen: well Azir can start saying crazy things to entertain him I guess. Maybe even lend him the free phone sex radio.
He's pretty much half insane by this point, even without the previous roll.
Ganelon: Pfft. As if the radio talks sweet to anyone but you.
Frezak (GM): he's tired of all this silly madness.
Wen: Blame the RNG!
Frezak (GM): You start to go somewhere, half the party goes mad, wait for them to recover, start moving, wait again, get where you were going, learn nothing, go back.
Rinse and repeat.
Maybe he could become a farmer.
Wen: Raise chickens.
Bear Soup Guy: Farmers do need good hole-digging skills
Ganelon: Well, probability dictates that when Apheori makes all of us perform dozens of sanity rolls every day, RNG will make something crazy occur.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, at least something he can DO.
Ganelon: The odds of us getting lucky enough to avoid that are simply too low to ever reasonably occur.
Or unlucky.
Bear Soup Guy: Pah! Odds are for scientists!
Apheori (GM): Well, let's get you all down on the city, at least.
Ganelon: I mean, depends on your perspective regarding sanity.
Frezak (GM): I know that the expedition hasn't been exactly fruitful so far.
Except for Greibel when he fell from a tree.
Wen: hee.
Frezak (GM): That was sort of fruit-like behavior.
Bear Soup Guy: Fruits grow from trees
Frezak (GM): Strange Fruit.
Bear Soup Guy: Trees take patience to grow
Frezak (GM): Stoner fruit.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Okay well, I'm going to shower and go to the store then I guess
Ganelon: Alright.
Conditions will surely improve eventually!
Bear Soup Guy: Good game guys! Are we doing next Monday then?
Apheori (GM): They will.
Ganelon: I could do Monday.
Wen: I probably won't be too busy until the end of next week-ish (first week of school). After that I don't know.
Frezak (GM): I don't have anything planned.
Wen: it'll have to start a bit later though
since iirc I have class between 11something and 12something.
or you could just start and I could just tag along and start playing when I'm around.
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Bye for now then
Wen: bye.
Apheori (GM): So an hour later?
Ganelon: I'll be around at the same time as always.
Wen: I might be 5-10 minutes late, but that should work.
Frezak (GM): This is usually the sort of time I'm looking at stopping.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Wen: it's pretty long even if you take away an hour >.<
Apheori (GM): And we have to wait a month for Ellemerr?
Bah.
Frezak (GM): We: Sunday my game spend 12 hours at a fair.
Wen: Apheori: I _would_ appreciate it if we spent less time going insane and trying to become sane again >.<
o_O
Apheori (GM): Wen: It gets worse before it gets better. But you're basically at the bottom now.
Congratulations!
Wen: heh.
Well, on that cheerful note, adios. :P
Ganelon: It was the best fair.
Action, drama, suspense, failed attempts at romance... we had it all.
Frezak (GM): Alchoholism.
Ganelon: A lot of that, yes.
Frezak (GM): Fortunes.
TONS OF PLOT.
More plot than you know.
Apheori (GM): You people and your plots.
Frezak (GM): Maybe.
Wen: So far we've mostly had going to places, becoming insane, not finding very much, and then going back to where we came from.
Minus some sanity.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, Azi told us about the science experiment.
And.
That's about it, i think.
We are shit investigators.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, well, if you all would stop AVOIDING the damn continuation thingies...
Wen: You could like, push us towards them >_>
Apheori (GM): There is a very important something that's supposed to happen and you keep... avoiding them.
Wen: Instead of letting us make the bad decisions that stagnate the plot.
Apheori (GM): Like you're almost there and then you're like, no, nevermind.
Frezak (GM): THEN MAKE THINGS UP.
Apheori (GM): But you're the players! You make decisions!
Wen: You control Rhu! Rhu could know what's going on.
Apheori (GM): And I AM making things up!
Ghuh.
Ganelon: I don't really know that I'm missing important stuff.
Wen: Guarav is almost certainly better at this thing than I am. >_>
Frezak (GM): I let my party cause a willage to be burt to the ground just to get them to advance.
Apheori (GM): You know what?
Fine.
FINE.
Frezak (GM): What?
Apheori (GM): You'll see.
Wen: >.>
I think we should be worried.
Apheori (GM) goes back to choking on her tea.
Frezak (GM): I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB
Wen: I mean, I get that the lava lamp thing is important. But... there's no obvious way to interact with it.
Frezak (GM): The finding things out bit, not the digging holes bit.
Wen: I look at the sky and I see an eye staring at me.
Frezak (GM): We could fly into the sky >.>
Apheori (GM): Stop fighting the madness. Embrace it.
Become one with it.
Or something.
Okay, fine, I admit it. I enjoy watching you all lose your minds.
Frezak (GM): I'm being as mad as my character warants.
If you're telling ME I'm not mad enough, WELL.
Apheori (GM): I was kidding.
Wen: I'm not very good at being mad. I think I designed my character to be pretty much in line with my own personality. >.<
Apheori (GM): Your character has done excellently.
Wen: I should have probably made it more caricatured.
It could maybe, I dunno, hook up with a wall.
maybe that'll lead to things
Wen grins
Ganelon: Whoa now.
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
Ganelon: Do you have a plug?
Frezak (GM): The wall will.
Once he gets it in.
Wen: I have more than a plug. I have a 65W power brick.
Apheori (GM): Woah woah woah.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Ganelon: I could intimidate more obstacles if you like.
Apheori (GM): The obstacles love you.
Frezak (GM): Or lust.
Wen: Apheori: it might be a good idea to remind me about this thing on Sunday, if you can remember. >.>
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Wen: Thanks.
Apheori (GM): If I remember.
Wen: Yes.
Or you could play 2PCs >_>
Apheori (GM): Ghuh.
Wen: I'll try to remember, but I'm not too good at remembering stuff a week away.
Apheori (GM): Neither am I.
Wen: I'm off to get dinner. Laters.