Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 16"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<screenplay>
<screenplay>
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
</screenplay>


<pre>
The walls groan under structural strain, then return to silence.
Apheori (GM): Does anyone remember the current situation?
 
Bear Soup Guy: We're uh
The party is loitering around the presentation room. Radek runs down through the list of projects he found that the underground organisation had been working on: an investigation into the rifts, research on a shielding artifact, something about mutant birds, and a project about talking to the dead.
Frezak (GM): THe place started falling apart then stopped.
 
We were looting.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): We need to find out how Greibel got here. By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly. Unless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Ganelon: We read through some logs.
 
The teleporter was broken.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Apheori (GM): Right. You were in that presentation room, the walls were sometimes groaning...
 
Gaurav: Yay groaning walls
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Well, bugger.
we haven't had that in a while
 
Apheori (GM): Well, this is structural groaning, not possessed groaning.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Always stoned. He's a floating pot-smoke apparition.
Gaurav: oh
non-sarcastic "yay!" then
Frezak (GM): We need to find out how Greibel got here.
By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly.
Apheori (GM): Greibel got in down the corridor that collapsed.
Frezak (GM): UNless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Apheori (GM): Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Frezak (GM): Well, bugger.
Bear Soup Guy: Always stoned
Frezak (GM): Wander around aimlessly...
Bear Soup Guy: He's a floating pot-smoke apparition
Frezak (GM): OR.
I COULD DIG US OUT.
Gaurav: Can you smoke ghost-Griebel?
like, if you were to inhale him
Apheori (GM): You could track your way out.
Frezak (GM): Ghost Greibel inhales YOU.
Track?
Apheori (GM): Or you could get Radek to look for a map of the place.
Folks used this place, went in and out. Track it!
Frezak (GM): Ehhhh
Ganelon: Have Greibel turn into a swarm of moles!
Frezak (GM): There you go.
Bear Soup Guy: :O
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Brains.
Do that.
Gaurav: ++swarm of moles idea
Apheori (GM): You could follow the tuna trails that criss-crossed the real trail you followed to find the crazies.
Gaurav: why would the transporter stop working? we didn't fiddle with any electronics while we were here, right?
Apheori (GM): Why, indeed...
Gaurav: ... or the tune trail. that works too.
Ganelon: It wasn't getting power.
Well, that doesn't explain why it dumped silvery stuff on us.
But now it's not getting power.
Most likely suspect is, of course, the cave-in.
Gaurav: oh right, that would explain it
the tanks are also empty
the presentation room has power
Ganelon: Good point.


RHU
RHU
Line 71: Line 30:
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.


Gaurav: Sorry if this was covered earlier: is the presentation room the only place you can get to through the north corridor, or are there other places to explore there?
Radek checks the door for a map, and is disappointed to find that this complex apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
Apheori (GM): You check by the door and are disappointed to find that this building apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
 
There are other places. Gravy just tracked the two loon here.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them.
loons
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Ganelon: Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them.
 
Gaurav: Ha! I hope we find a complaint register at some point. This place seems crazy enough that it might have one.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"
Ganelon: "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Bear Soup Guy: "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"


DAWN
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.
(counting the seats in the room) Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Ganelon: I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.


DAWN
DAWN
(counting the seats in the room)
Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Something's missing.
Something's missing.
Gaurav: Possibly silly question, but we've already echecked that our communication gear doesn't work down here, right?


RADEK
RADEK
Line 93: Line 48:


RHU
RHU
(to Dave) What?
What?
rolling 1d20+12 perception check on the room to see if I can see what's caught Dave's attention
(
6
)
+12
=
18
Frezak (GM): BAH.
Gravy will activate his Gravysenses.
rolling 1D20+20
(
3
)
+20
=
23
See?
Even on a 3 i'm awesome.
Now I need to sit down for 5 minutes >.>


RHU
Rhu looks around. ''(rolled 18 perception)''
Thank you.
 
Ganelon: Keep showing off like that and I'll have to one-up you in a different campaign altogether.
The Gravedigger looks about as well. ''(rolled 23 perception)'' There seems to be something off with the number of seats and the door, but it's unclear what.


DAWN
DAWN
I don't know.
I don't know.
Ganelon: By making Freya's L6 feat Skill Focus: Diplomacy.
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: It has something to do with the number of seats and the... door?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Uh.
It's the seats. And the door.
I will relay that dubious information >.>
 
Gaurav: How many seats are there? 23?
Rhu counts the seats. He comes up with 47.
Frezak (GM): Is there a missing seat spot?
 
Gaurav: There were 18 beds in the quarters earlier, but we've definitely seen more than 18 skeletons, so there must be more living quarters around somewhere.
Radek goes to check out the door. He finds no label for the room, but the place where a label should be. ''(rolled 25 perception)'' It's a bit like someone stole the sign.
Apheori (GM): 47 seats.
 
Ganelon: I don't get why this is important, but...
The walls creak ominously.
I suppose I'll check out the door.
Gaurav: There were 47 gold pieces in the living quarters, although that couldn't posibly be relevent.
Apheori (GM): The walls creak ominously as you do. Perception, please.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception check
(
14
)
+12
=
26
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
7
)
+10
=
17
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+8
(
17
)
+8
=
25
Apheori (GM): I meant Radek.
Ganelon: I think it's 8, at least.
I'll confirm in just a sec.
Gaurav: all perception all the time
Ganelon: Yep, 8.
Apheori (GM): GAN: YOU NOTICE...
...that none of the rooms are labelled and in a place like this, they should be labelled. It's like someone stole all the signs.
Frezak (GM): SCRUB
SCRUB ALL THE WALLS


RADEK
RADEK
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave?
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave? There should be one here.
There should be one here.


DAWN
DAWN
One? Or two?
One? Or two? On the door, and by the door.
Ellemerr: I should be ready very soon. Am I present?


DAWN
Dawn walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.
On the door, and by the door.
Apheori (GM): You are not, so show up when you feel like.


RHU
RHU
By the door?
By the door?
Apheori (GM): Elll: There is a sphinx draped over some seats licking itself, if that helps.
Ellemerr: Perhaps.
(From Ellemerr): If you've anything specific you want me to confuse those poor buggers about, as always, you've but to tell me.
Apheori (GM): Dave walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.


DAWN
DAWN
Here.
Here.
(To Ellemerr): Igot nothing.
 
Frezak (GM): DETECT ILLLLUUUSION
The Gravedigger smacks the tapped area.
Ganelon: ...Sure, why not.
Frezak (GM): I smack the tapped area.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
(
13
)
+11
=
24
There any magic up there, boss?
(To Ellemerr): I think some crazy person just stole all the signs.


RHU
RHU
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
Apheori (GM): Magic!
 
Radek detects magic, as though it had been touched by magic at some point in the past. ''(rolled 24 arcana)''
 
The Gravedigger punches the magic.
 
The residual magic disperses.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
Apheori (GM): Something magical touched it.
Frezak (GM): I PUNCH THE MAGIC
Apheori (GM): The magic disperses.
Ganelon: Way to go, you scared the magic away.
Now we can't disenchant it for MORE DUST
Gaurav: That magic has returned to the land of its forefathers.
Frezak (GM): My shovel is magic?
and brb
Apheori (GM): Isn't it a +1 shovel?
Frezak (GM): No.
Apheori (GM): Oh.


GREIBEL
+1 Shovel Of Burrying
Frezak (GM): None of us have any magic stuff.
Bear Soup Guy: err
Ganelon: I have the ability to make one thing +1.
Bear Soup Guy: OOC
Ganelon: With my current resources.
Apheori (GM): I thought it was almost all +1 since you're from future land.
The porridge hops around the room merrily
The porridge hops around the room merrily
Apheori (GM): Or maybe that was just the cloth stuff.
 
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
Gaurav: My cloth armour is +1, but it's not magical. Just cloth.
 
Was there anything hiding under the sphinx?
Apheori (GM): Some cat hair.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Ganelon: Well, the lack of signs is mysterious but we're in danger of the place collapsing and I don't see how a label would help us much.
 
Unless this room has a purpose we're unaware of.
Rhu backs away from the blood-stained Amadi.
Rhu backs away from blood-stained Amadi
Apheori (GM): Is Greibel smoking anything?


RHU
RHU
(to Dave) why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
(to Dawn)
Ganelon: It's the morning. Of course he is.
why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Ellemerr: Is not smoking an option for him?
Ganelon: (I think he actually did mention something of the sort)


DAWN
DAWN
Max occupancy 47 persons
(as though reading, though there's nothing there)
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he did wake up and smoke a lot of things when he say Dave and Amadi on the ceiling
Max occupancy 47 persons. The space is there where it should be.
 
There's a squawk from somewhere down the corridor. To Greibel, it sounds like a dying horse. To the Gravedigger, it sounds like an angry duck... and then like a horse dying. ''(rolled 25 nature)''


DAWN
Greibel perks up.
The space is there where it should be.
 
Bear Soup Guy: saw*
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: I imagine we'd stop him if he tried to smoke near something inflamable, but apart from that ...
A DYING DUCK-HORSE.
Apheori (GM): Is he still smoking?
 
Okay.
The Gravedigger charges down the hall.
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he could be if that would be helpful =D
 
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Rhu runs out after Gravy, his maul drawn.
Gravy: You think you hear a squawk from a room down the corridor.
 
Bear Soup Guy: He's out of his element here and doesn't know what any of this science stuff does, so he's probably a bit bored and smoking quite a bit
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse.
Apheori (GM): Maybe others do too.
 
I dunno what your passive perceptions are.
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large. The blood in her hair isn't drying.
Bear Soup Guy: passive 20
 
Ganelon: 18 here. Pretty good.
Dawn frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy as well, along with Radek.
Gaurav: 22, but I think Rhu is still trying to work out the Mystery of the 47 Chairs, so he's distracted
 
Ganelon: Passive perception is just 10+perception mod, after all.
Meanwhile, in the presentation room, there is a horrible horking noise as the sphinx runs into the porridge.
Apheori (GM): Greibel hears it too, and it sounds like a dying horse to him.
 
Rhu hears it and doesn't really notice.
Rhu comes back to look and watch, before heading after the others after all a moment later.
Greibel perks up
Ganelon: Everyone here has ridiculous senses.
Apheori (GM): You're elves. Of course you do.
Ganelon: You should see the other game, where the gnoll (they get a racial bonus and everything) is the highest at 5.
Gaurav: I would have ridiculous senses, if Gravy didn't keep showing off.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): Wow.
Ganelon: 5! He misses stuff all the time!
Bear Soup Guy: Fits the scenario quite well though
If our highest perception was 5 we'd still be walking around a parking lot looking at cars
Frezak (GM): back
Ganelon: He's a really shitty hunter. Nobody believes him though because he kept rolling over 15 the one time we had to track something.
Apheori (GM): Or you'd be dead.
Bear Soup Guy: Yes
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You heard a squawk down the hall.
Do stuff.
Ellemerr: Hey, I believe you! You've convinced me that you're a really shitty liar, and I believe in luck.
Bear Soup Guy: And I a horse
Apheori (GM): Also Amadi is all bloody.
Bear Soup Guy: NATURE BROTHERS ASSEMBLE
Ellemerr: Eh, just her hair.
Frezak (GM): What kind of squawk?
Apheori (GM): How is your nature?
Gaurav: A giant seabird has arrived. The giant fish are on their way.
Apheori (GM): Roll nature.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+9
(
16
)
+9
=
25
Ganelon: The pelicans have come!
Frezak (GM): THE GULLS
Gaurav: We must send BSG to negotiate on our behalf. And try to stop the sphinx from eating it.
Apheori (GM): It sounds like an angry duck and then like a horse dying.
Frezak (GM): OH, GODS, THE GULLS
I realy that terrifying information to the party.
*relay
AND CHARGE INTO THE HALL
Apheori (GM): And ignore the bloody Amadi?
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse
Frezak (GM): I'm not a healer.
I dig graves, I don't keep people out of them.
Apheori (GM): You don't need to be a healer to notice something is odd.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh, is it Amadi's own blood?
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large.
Apheori (GM): On the other hand, Amadi is always add.
odd
Gaurav: I was a healer until I killed someone. Now I'm a lapsed healer. Plus, it's Amadi. She'll pop into another world and then pop back, good as new.
Frezak (GM): EVERYTHING IS ODD.
Ganelon: ADD also works.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): So i charge into the halll.
Gaurav: Frezak: don't jinx it. Things have been surprisingly unodd for a while now.
Ganelon: I think I would prefer not to know why there's blood in her hair, myself.
Frezak (GM): THis world has taught me that being sensible in it is pointless.
Rhu goes out after Frezak, maul drawn.
Dave frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy.
Ganelon: So I'll just follow these guys.
Bear Soup Guy: Perhaps the blood is from whatever animal is squawking right now
Apheori (GM): At a sedate walk, though.
Frezak (GM): Was she birthed again?
OUt of a duckmoose?
Gaurav: She spent more than six minutes with the sphinx. That'll bloody anyone.
Apheori (GM): Folks in the hall: You now hear a horrible horking noise from the room you just left.
Frezak (GM): I don't want to know.
She's just spitting up an Amadiball.
Rhu pops his head back into the room in surprise
Frezak (GM): From licking too many ears;
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: The sphinx ran into the porridge.
Frezak (GM): I warned you.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oik!
Oik!
Ellemerr: Uh-oh
 
Greibel goes over to try to separate them
Greibel goes over to try to separate them, but somehow they've become tangled. Amadi skips down to help.
Rhu shakes his head and return to the corridor
Apheori (GM): They're a bit tangled.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Roll to untangle.
Mmm.
Amadi skips down to join with the seperating.
 
Apheori (GM): Probably dexterity.
Greibel and Amadi have a go at untangling them. ''(rolled 2 dexterity, 20 to assist)'' Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
 
The horrible noises cease and the sphinx flees out into the corridor as well.


GREIBEL
mmm
Apheori (GM): With an assist from Amadi.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+0
(
2
)
+0
=
2
XD XD XD
Ellemerr:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Ganelon: Amazing.
Bear Soup Guy: Utterly amazing
Gaurav: well that's a pair of rolls
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Ellemerr: Even I can roll good once in a while, you know. Just... never in combat.
Frezak (GM): So... With that crit.... Greibel got..4.
Ellemerr: Yes, I'm spending all my good rolls here, Frezak. Deal with it.
Frezak (GM): THANKS, AMADI
WAY TO GO.
THIS IS WHY THE STRANGER DIED.
Apheori (GM): Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
The horrible noises cease.
Amadi giggles.
Amadi giggles.
Ganelon: Just ask the Merr to Astral Seal something and you'll see how consistent she can be. For the worse.
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs out into the corridor as well.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well
Gaurav: darnit, should've locked it in here when we had the chance
Ellemerr: I'd help, but I think I've sort of made it terrified of me, at least for a while.
Frezak (GM): So.....
I'm all alone?
Gaurav: no, I'm still in the corridor
Frezak (GM): But you stopped running, right?
Gaurav: Yes. I'm right outside the door at the moment. Did you run ahead?
Ganelon: I followed you without interruption.
Frezak (GM): I never turned back.
Ganelon: I don't want to be alone with all the crazy people.
Frezak (GM): On the basis that Amadi can control spacetime.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
(to Amadi) Well, not to point out the obvious but...how'd you get all bloodied up?
(to Amadi)
Apheori (GM): Dave's still walking after Gravy and Radek.
Well, not to point out the obvious but... how'd you get all bloodied up?
Frezak (GM): ANd there was a duck in danger.
Ganelon: Or a dangerous duck.
Gaurav: An angry duck. A dead horse.
Ganelon: I think it might be that.
Frezak (GM): Zombie duck?


AMADI
AMADI
How did I what?
How did I what?
The porridge: Gloop
 
The porridge gloops.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Mmm. Right.
Mmm. Right.
Rhu cautiously advances down the corridor in the direction that Gravy went
 
Frezak (GM): No need to be cautious.
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad. Then she shrugs and pets the porridge.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx catches up with Gravy at some point.
 
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad.
The porridge rumbles.
Frezak (GM): If there's something bad, it's gonna be busy with a faceful of Gravy
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You come to a room.
 
Frezak (GM): MY DREAD NEMESIS
INT. Random office - underground complex
Apheori (GM): The noise came from here. It is all quiet now.
 
The Gravedigger stops at the door of the room the noise apparently came from and looks inside. There's a desk, some chairs, and a deformed skeleton inside.
 
Everything is quiet now.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HELLO?
HELLO?
Ganelon: It's okay, I have a rifle. We can totally make this a duck hunt.
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
Apheori (GM): Nothing.
 
The sphinx catches up and runs inside.
 
The Gravedigger spots a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It's not moving. He goes to check on it, and then finds the sphinx on top of it as he rounds the desk.
 
Radek and Dawn enter and just watch.
 
Checking for vital signs, the Gravedigger winds up with sphinx vital signs.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs in.
Gaurav: But it's rabbit season.
Frezak (GM): What IS in the room?
Radek is a scienceman.
Gaurav: Have I reached Frezak yet? How far ahead of us is he?
Frezak (GM): He can make a duck into a rabbit.
Apheori (GM): A desk, some chairs, a deformed skeleton...
And, apparently, a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It appears to be either dead or unconscious.
Frezak (GM): DEFORMED?
I check the duckmoose for vital signs.
Apheori (GM): It has too many feet.
You wind up with sphinx vital signs.
Frezak (GM): I attempt to remove the sphinx.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
Apheori (GM): You reach out to move the sphinx and it jumps off.
 
Ganelon: Cats.
The Gravedigger reaches out to move the sphinx and it jumps off. Checking again, he finds the duckmoose has too many legs and is not entirely alive.
Apheori (GM): Rhu, Radek: You come in as well.
 
Rhu catches up and comes in as well.


RHU
RHU
... yeah ... okay ... I don't know what I was expecting.
...yeah... okay... I don't know what I was expecting. But that's not far off.
But that's not far off.
Frezak (GM): Is this apex of nature alive?
Apheori (GM): Apparently not.
Amadi shrugs and pets the porridge.
The porridge rumbles.
 
AMADI
What time is it?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can we leave yet?
Can we leave yet?
GREIBEL
Uhrm
Gaurav: Time to get a new watch.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 473: Line 198:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
PLease.
Please.


DAWN
DAWN
Line 480: Line 205:
RHU
RHU
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
Bear Soup Guy: Should I and/or Amadi head to the room?
So... head of a duck, body of a moose? That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
We're still screwing around in the unimportant room
Frezak (GM): I can totes nature it.
rolling 1D20+9
(
17
)
+9
=
26
Ganelon: Don't suppose there's a map in this room either?
Frezak (GM): See? That's nature, right there.
That moose?
not natural.
 
RHU
So: head of a duck, body of a moose?
That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
Apheori (GM): Nature determines that it's not natural.


AMADI
The Gravedigger turns back to give the thing another look, just to be humour him instead. ''(rolled 26 nature)''
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
Apheori (GM): Some sort of horrible disease happened to it.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The duck-moose hybrid.... Is not natural.
The duck-moose hybrid... Is not natural.
 
GREIBEL
Your hair is...very unique. It's nice.
 
AMADI
Thanks!
 
GREIBEL
I don't have a mirror but uh....I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
 
AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.


RADEK
RADEK
It might have been a test subject.
It might have been a test subject.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
Maybe. I hope I don't turn into a duck.
I hope I don't turn into a duck.
 
GREIBEL
The sign on...was that there before?
Greibel walks over to read the sign


RHU
RHU
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So: definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah.
Yeah.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll sanity.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8


DAWN
DAWN
Line 550: Line 229:
RADEK
RADEK
I wouldn't discount anything.
I wouldn't discount anything.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The sign looks like a map.
But it shimmers too much to make out details.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I dunno.
I dunno. But this moose got ducked. I don't want to be ducked.
But this moose got ducked.
 
I don't want to be ducked.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.
 
 
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
 
AMADI
What time is it?
 
GREIBEL
Uhrm.


AMADI
AMADI
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
GREIBEL
Are you colourblind?
Your hair is... very unique. It's nice.
My brother has that.
Green bunnies.
Bear Soup Guy: Can I take the map off the door?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
AMADI
Not that HE ever saw a real bunny.
Thanks!
Because you only find them in zoos back home.
Apheori (GM): You try to take the map, but your fingers pass right through it.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oh, bugger all
I don't have a mirror but uh... I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
Gaurav: The annual bunny migration was a terrible time back in Roseberry
 
AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
(To Amadi) What does this say?
The sign on... was that there before?
(From Ellemerr): What do I tell him?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel walks over to read the sign. ''(rolled 8 reality)'' It looks like a map, but it shimmers too much to make out details.
If you'd shown him this thing, he wouldn't have known it wasn't a proper creature.
 
Ganelon: We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.
(To Amadi): It's the evacuation routes. Make something up.
 
Frezak (GM): I don't know what to be concerned about anymore.
AMADI
Ganelon: Let's just move on. Do your tracking thing and see if we can't find an exit.
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
I mean, I liked my moles idea, but the druid's occupied.
 
Frezak (GM): Tracking would tell me where feet went, but not which ones went to an exit.
Greibel tries to take the map off the door, but his fingers pass right through it.
It's not magic.
 
Gaurav: Dungeoneering check to see if, I dunno, the floor is sloping up or something?
GREIBEL
And we should go get Greibel back before we move on.
Oh, bugger all.
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it. "Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently." She taps a spot on the thingy.
(To Amadi)
Gaurav: I'll go.
What does this say?
Rhu heads back to the hologram room, looking for Greibel.
 
Frezak (GM): Just pick a corridor and take the right-hand turn rule until we find an exit?
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it.  
 
AMADI
Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently.


RHU
Amadi taps a spot on the thingy.
(to Gravy, as he walks away) I like this plan!
Frezak (GM): I'd be a minotaur if I wasn't an elf!
Off to the holoroom.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
So where are we on this guide?
So where are we on this guide?
Rhu pops my head into the holoroom
 
Amadi points again.
Rhu comes back inside and then tries to figure out what they're looking at. The Gravedigger pushes his way in as well, Radek and Dawn following.
Ganelon: Sure thing.
 
Amadi re-closes the door and points again.


RHU
RHU
(to Greibel) It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?
(to Greibel)
It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?


DAWN
DAWN
Line 614: Line 298:


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hold on, we found a map, check it out
Hold on, we found a map, check it out.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well there goes my plan.
Well there goes my plan.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see no map.
 
Frezak (GM): It's a stonermap.
The others see no map. Not even a sign.
Gaurav: Do I even see the sign?
Apheori (GM): Nope.


RHU
RHU
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
Bear Soup Guy: Nice!


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
Apheori (GM): Radek: You notice a mass of fluff nuzzling you.


RADEK
RADEK
...Wrong, but continue.
...Wrong, but continue.
Apheori (GM): It says, "Hungry."
 
Ganelon: Is it the sphinx?
The sphinx nuzzles Radek's hand.
 
SPHINX
Hungry.


RHU
RHU
(to Dave) Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is?
(to Dawn)
It doesn't make sense.
Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is? It doesn't make sense.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease.


DAWN
DAWN
Why not?
Why not? What if the head and body belong to it?
What if the head and body belong to it?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Its a moose with a duck's head.
It doesn't. Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease. Its a moose with a duck's head. Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
But it doesn't.
Ganelon: No really, what is this nuzzling fluff?


DAWN
DAWN
Line 658: Line 334:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head.
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head. Yes.
Yes.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, sphinx, sorry.
Ganelon: Alright, just making sure it's not something *new*.
Frezak (GM): Get the party together!
WE CAN SOLVE THIS


RHU
RHU
The disease might have done it. That's true.
The disease might have done it. That's true.
Frezak (GM): The getting out of here, specifically.
RHU
Huh, solve _this_. We still haven't solved the mystery of the 47 chairs.
Frezak (GM): duckmooses can be solved later.
RHU
Getting out of here would be nice, though. I miss the sun.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go get RAdek and Co. and get out of here.
Let's go get out of here. Tis place is falling apart.
Tis place is falling apart.


RADEK
RADEK
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
The sphinx: Hungry.
 
SPHINX
Hungry.


RHU
RHU
Agreed. Let's go!
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
Agreed. Let's go!
 
The Gravedigger picks up Radek.
RADEK
I have no time to tell stories!
 
The Gravedigger rolls the Mouseforged back onto Dawn's floating disk, and picks up Radek.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
ONWARDS
ONWARDS.


RADEK
Dawn picks up the sphinx.
I have no time to tell stories!
Ganelon: I'm okay with this.
Apheori (GM) picks up the sphinx.
Dave picks up the sphinx.
Apheori (GM): >.<
Ganelon: Radek is probably less so, but still.


AMADI
AMADI
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
Amadi points to something on the sign.
Amadi points to something on the sign.


RHU
RHU
Does what look like a rabbit?
Does what look like a rabbit? ...the wall?
... the wall?


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
hmmmm
Hmmmm. Could be. How strange.
Could be. How strange.


RHU
RHU
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat.
Apheori (GM): The floating disk hits Greibel on the way out the door and stops.


AMADI
AMADI
Line 720: Line 380:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right hand rule!
Right hand rule! Less talky, more walky rightwards! Come on, people! Out the deathtrap!
Less talky, more walky rightwards!
Come on, people!
Out the deathtrap!
Rhu follows Gravy
Apheori (GM): You've left the mouseforged in the room.
Just so you know.


RHU
Amadi and Greibel are still looking at the sign by the door, so the Gravedigger puts down Radek and picks them up instead.
D'oh.
Greibel falls
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Rhu mentions the mouseforged to Gravy -- he's not going back for it if Gravy doesn't want to.
Frezak (GM): I'll go put Mousie on the disj.
*disk
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now sitting on the disk where the mouseforged was supposed to be.
Frezak (GM): It's gone?
Apheori (GM): It fell on some of the seats.
Frezak (GM): Oh.
Well, i'll put down Radek, Pick up Greibel, pud Griebel down, pick up Mousie and put Mousie on the disk.
Whew.
Greibel sits on the floor vacantly
Gaurav: Put down Radek? Where is he?
Apheori (GM): Does everyone leave?
Now?
Frezak (GM): I picked him up.
Gaurav: Rhu sticks with Gravy.
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Rhu.
Ganelon: Well I'm not going back just to shout at the cat some more.
So yeah, I'll just follow.
Ellemerr: I'll sit with Greibel and sing komba-ya.
Frezak (GM): On the floor?
Once I put Mousie on the disk, I pick up Griebel and Amadi.
And get moving.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
oof
Oof.


AMADI
AMADI
Wheeee~
Wheeee.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you head out!
 
Gaurav: YAY!
The Gravedigger heads out. Radek and Rhu follow.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
(to Amadi) So I guess we're not following the map
(to Amadi)
Apheori (GM): Which way do you go? What do you do when Dave turns in a seemingly random direction?
So I guess we're not following the map.
Frezak (GM): Personally?
 
I'd ignore her.
 
Ganelon: We have a plan.
INT. Corridors - underground complex.
Gaurav: Wait, how many directions are there? I was imagining one corridor with the holoroom as a door on a side?
 
Ganelon: For once I'd like to stick to it.
The Gravedigger follows the right-hand rule, looking for an exit.
Apheori (GM): I don't know.
 
Dawn wanders off in another direction entirely.
 
The Gravedigger ignores her.


RHU
RHU
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
Frezak (GM): She's also batshit.


AMADI
AMADI
Line 782: Line 413:
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Rabbits are nice!
Rabbits are nice!
Rhu makes as if to reply to Gravy, stops, thinks, then shrugs


RHU
RHU
Line 789: Line 419:
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
Frezak (GM): No, that was Frezak that said she was batshit.
Gravy would never say that.
Gaurav: Oh, right! Sorry. My bad.
Apheori (GM): So if you all ignore it, Dave will turn around and follow everyone else.
What's your plan, again?
Frezak (GM): Keep turning right until we find an exit.
Apheori (GM): o_O
Frezak (GM): Classic dungeon rule.
Gaurav: Or monsters.
Apheori (GM): You wind up going in a circle.
Frezak (GM): Then we go and do the same with the other wall.
Apheori (GM): The other wall?
Frezak (GM): Map.
If we went in a circle, then we were following the inner square.
So we find a corridor.
And use the other wall as our direction wall.
And do it again.
Apheori (GM): You get hopelessly lost.
Frezak (GM): WHAT
HOW CAN WE GET LOST.
I give up.
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor of an office building.
Frezak (GM): Someone else do this.
Apheori (GM): Going around the outsides, you find no exits.
Aside from maybe something down rubble lane.
Gaurav: So we spot nothing else in our lost wanderings? And now we can't find our way back to the lab room?
Apheori (GM): Yup!
Well, nothing useful. Because I can't think of anything.
Lots of bodies.
Wait, no, you do come across something.
You're lost and you encounter a room with a... moose!
...jus kidding.
Apheori (GM): Not a moose, but a spherical thing on a table with a bunch of tubes attached to it.
Gaurav: "laid out like ... an office building" -- do you mean something like this: http://touristinmyownland.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/fort-canning-bunker.png


RHU
After a moment, Dawn turns back and re-follows the others.
I think we should head back to the holoroom.
 
They get lost, but keep going.
 
 
INT. Room - underground complex
 
Later they come across a room with a large spherical object on a table, about the size of a basketball, with a bunch of wires and tubes attached to it. The far wall is covered in mirrors.
 
The Gravedigger is still carrying Amadi and Greibel, one slung under each arm.
 
Amadi's hair has finally dried, resulting in a hairy mass of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Not gonna say I told you so but....I told you so.
(To Amadi)
Ganelon: I'll inspect this spherical thing.
Your hair is really quite lovely today.


AMADI
AMADI
Go back? What for?
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
Ganelon: Sounds like magic to me.
 
RHU
I think we should head back to the holoroom.


AMADI
AMADI
Did someone forget their hairdye?
Go back? What for? Did someone forget their hairdye?
Amadi has now a hair full of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
(
6
)
+11
=
17
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor in a tall building, I mean.
Gan: It is magic! Apparently it's the shielding artifact.
You think.
You're not sure.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
(To Amadi) Your hair is really quite lovely today.
Not gonna say I told you so but... I told you so.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm imagining that Gravy still has each of us slung across his shoulders
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier


AMADI
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier.
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
 
Radek goes to examine the object. ''(rolled 17 arcana)'' It seems to be the shielding artifact described in the presentations.


DAWN
DAWN
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in.
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in. I... think?
I... think?
 
Frezak (GM): under each arm.
Dawn winces for some reason.
Like pigs.
Dave winces for some reason.
Bear Soup Guy: XD


AMADI
AMADI
Line 871: Line 462:


RHU
RHU
(to Amadi) Are you bleeding? Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
(to Amadi)
Apheori (GM): Just tell her there's a bath on the other side.
Are you bleeding?
Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.


AMADI
AMADI
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
Frezak (GM): Do I smell blood?
Ganelon: I'll groan and have a look.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Ganelon: What'll that be, heal or perception?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's blood.
Yeah, that's blood.
Apheori (GM): Heal, probably.
 
(To Amadi): What actually did happen? >.>
Radek groans and goes back to the others to take a look. He examines Amadi's head ''(rolled 23 heal)'' and finds no wounds. In fact she seems to be perfectly fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Frezak (GM): Can't you just syringe her?
 
Ganelon:
Like she tried washing it with blood.
rolling 1d20+8
(
15
)
+8
=
23
Gaurav: Gonna make some sandwiches, so if I'm slow to reply, you know why.
Ganelon: Sure, but if it's not coming from a wound, what good would that do?
(From Amadi): You're asking me? She dyed her hair! While in... the other place.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
Apheori (GM): Well, you determine that it's not from a wound.
That's what good it does..
Gaurav: "Radek begins examining Amadi's head for injury. Amadi's hair comes to life and kills him. The end."


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, she's not complaining.
Eh, she's not complaining.
Ganelon: I mean a healing thing.
Apheori (GM): Heal is also to check, no?
Ganelon: Yes
I don't roll heal checks to use my infusions.
Gaurav: Yeah, we agreed that Heal would be for anything medical.
Ganelon: They just work.
Apheori (GM): You check out her head. It's fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Like she tried washing it with blood.


RADEK
RADEK
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy.
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy. And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
Ganelon: Shielding thing. How big is it? And how secure?


RHU
RHU
(to Amadi) Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
(to Amadi)
Frezak (GM): I CAN DESECURE IT
Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?


AMADI
AMADI
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Apheori (GM): It's got wires and tubes all over it, and it's a bit smaller than a basketball.
You can desecure it.
AMADI
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
Dave walks over to a mirror and touches it.
Ganelon: Do so.
Apheori (GM): You desecure it?


RHU
RHU
It's not oozing, it's just ... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.
It's not oozing, it's just... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.


RADEK
Dawn walks over to a mirror and touches it.
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
Frezak (GM): Not until teh smart guy demands my might.
I DETACH IT
With my consistently epic Str >.>
Ganelon: It is possible that we may all die, but I doubt that.


AMADI
AMADI
... Yeah, you're crazy.
... Yeah, you're crazy.
Dave looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
 
Frezak (GM): I will carefully put down my charges.
Dawn looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
ANd prepare to desecure the thingy.
 
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors.
Radek goes back to the artifact on the table and checks it out more thoroughly.  
Greibel oinks at Gravy
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception check to examine the mirrors
(
20
)
+12
=
32
Apheori (GM): How do you want to do so?
Frezak (GM): I have no idea.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU ARE THE MIRROR
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Normal mirrors over a sink and crap.
Ganelon: Get the tubes off of it.
Apheori (GM): There are some smudges on one.
Rhu wipes at the smudges
Frezak (GM): I slice the tubes with my razor-edged shovel.
Ganelon: It would help to know how they're attached.
Apheori (GM): They only sort of wipe away, and mostly just become smudgier.
Gaurav: Like all smudges everywhere, then.
Apheori (GM): The tubes deflate sadly.
With a sad hiss.
It's very sad.
Frezak (GM): Have at thee, tubes!
Gaurav: :( poor tubes
Apheori (GM): It's still stuck in its stand. Whatdo you do?
Frezak (GM): I HEAVE.
Apheori (GM): ROLL SANITY
Frezak (GM): 1
Apheori (GM): ...I mean strength.
Frezak (GM): WHEW
Gaurav: That was the sanity check
Ganelon: "Nyeehhh"
Frezak (GM): IM GLAD I DID NOT ROLL SANITY.
Gaurav: Now roll the strength check
Apheori (GM): Okay, if your strength does bad things...
Frezak (GM): Whoa, no.
that's not Str.
Apheori (GM): You may have a problem.
Gaurav: Don't break the mirror, it's bad luck!
Apheori (GM): Roll strength.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+5
(
20
)
+5
=
25
MY MIGHT UNLEASHED
Gaurav: YES
Apheori (GM): You heave the artifact out of its stand.
Ganelon: BY THE POWER OF GRAVYSKULL
Gaurav: Frezak's muscles unexpectedly bulge out of his shirt, tearing it to pieces.
Bear Soup Guy: "and the bit of floor underneath it yanks out as well"
Frezak (GM): I LIFT THE WORD
Apheori (GM): It comes out neatly and you're left standing there holding a weird sshiny orb.
Frezak (GM): SUCK ON THIS, ATLAS.
Apheori (GM): And then everything goes funky.
Frezak (GM): I PUT THE ORB BACK
Ganelon: What!? No!
Give it to me!
Apheori (GM): Funky as in all sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
Frezak (GM): I GIVE THE ORB TO RADEK
Rhu wipes at the smudges again
Apheori (GM): You set the orb down and it almost rolls off the table and then give it to Radek. Everything goes back to normal.


RADEK
RADEK
d20
(to Gravy)
Ganelon:
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
rolling 1d20
 
(
The Gravedigger carefully puts down Amadi and Greibel and prepares to desecure the object.
8
 
)
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors. ''(rolled 32 perception (natural 20))'' They look normal. One has some smudges on it.
=
 
8
Rhu wipes at the smudges.
Hrm.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: They are normal mirror smudges. Without cleaner you won't succeed.
Greibel oinks at the Gravedigger.
 
The Gravedigger slices at the tubes with a razor-edged shovel, and they deflate sadly with a sad hiss. It's very sad.
 
The Gravedigger heaves the object out of its setting. ''(rolled 25 strength (natural 20))'' It comes out neatly and he's left standing there holding a weird shiny orb. And then, to him, everything goes funky. ''(rolled 1 reality)'' All sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
 
The Gravedigger hurriedly starts to put the orb back, but then Radek gestures for him to hand it over instead, and he does so.
 
Everything goes back to normal.
 
Radek, now holding the orb instead, gets his own dose of the feeling. ''(rolled 31 arcana (natural 20))''
 
'''''Apheori (GM)''': It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.


RADEK
Arcana.
Again.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11
(
20
)
+11
=
31
BOOYEAH
Frezak (GM): Gan.
Wait.
Our pwoers are being bolstered by madness.
We've become Alienists.
Apheori (GM): It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Frezak (GM): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Apheori (GM): XD
Gaurav: What is Rhu hearing from over here? Are there whizzy magic noises, or is reality just twisting hither and thither?
Ganelon: ALIENISTS YESSS
Gaurav: Plus things being dropped and whatnot.
Frezak (GM): FAR REALM, HERE I COME
Apheori (GM): The only one seeing twisty reality was Gravy, and that stopped when he put it down.
Radek cackles.
Radek cackles.
Apheori (GM): You just heard a yanking.
And now cackling.


RADEK
RADEK
Yes! This is it!
Yes! This is it!
Frezak (GM): I'm glad Gravy has a ton of HP.
 
Ganelon: Shielded physically, right?
The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
Apheori (GM): The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
Ganelon: Like, I have reason to believe that I could be attacked and not get harmed?
Apheori (GM): Yes.


RADEK
RADEK
Hit me with the shovel!
Hit me with the shovel!
Frezak (GM): SHOVEL STRIKE
 
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
Rhu turns away from the mirror in time to see the Gravedigger swing his shovel right at Radek.
Frezak (GM): WEIGHT OF EARTH.
Rhu turns away from the mirror and looks at Gravy and Radek quizzically
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+7
(
3
)
+7
=
10
Vs AC.
GORRAM/.


RHU
RHU
... Gravy? What are you doing?
...Gravy? What are you doing?
Frezak (GM): that's a tickle.


DAWN
DAWN
Science.
Science.
Frezak (GM): The weight of earth is more like balsa.
Ganelon: I'm not trying to dodge, but wow.
Disappointing shovel strike, there.
Apheori (GM): He missed.


RADEK
The Gravedigger misses.
...
 
Radek gives him a disappointed look.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 1,099: Line 554:


RADEK
RADEK
I said /hit/ me.
I said ''hit'' me.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let me try again.
Let me try again.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+7
(
6
)
+7
=
13
JESUS.
FUCK YOU, DICE.
rolling 1D20+7
(
19
)
+7
=
26
EVENTAULLY
Ganelon: THERE WE GO
Frezak (GM): He's just spinning like a top.


DAWN
The Gravedigger tries again, misses again, tries a third time, and finally hits Radek full force with his shovel.
Is this science?
 
Apheori (GM): And Radek falls over.
Radek falls over.


RHU
RHU
Woah! Gravy!
Woah! Gravy!
Apheori (GM): But he's basically unharmed.
 
Radek jumps up immediately after.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,138: Line 574:
AWESOME.
AWESOME.


RHU
Rhu just stares.
...
 
DAWN
Is this science?


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,145: Line 583:


RHU
RHU
I vote ... madness?
I vote... madness?


RADEK
RADEK
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Amadi disappears.
Amadi disappears.
Ganelon: Not exactly what I meant, Amadi, but okay.
 
Greibel looks around confused
Greibel looks around, confused.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Cheater!
Cheater!
The sphinx: Death. Good.
 
SPHINX
Death. Good.


DAWN
DAWN
(reaching down to stroke the sphinx)
Shush, sweetling.
Shush, sweetling.
Ellemerr might come back eventually. But she needs to... something.
(to the others)
This way! There are stairs.


DAWN
Dawn points at a wall.
This way! There are stairs.
Dave points at a wall.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 1,170: Line 610:


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hmmmm
Hmmmm. I've seen this. STAND BACK.
I've seen this
 
STAND BACK
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dawn pointed at.
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dave pointed at


DAWN
DAWN
Well, that... what are you doing?
Well, that...
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Greibel runs through the wall.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
oh.
 
Greibel runs right through the wall. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
 
DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.


RHU
RHU
Wha .. ?!
Wha... ?!


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
RHU
...yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.


DAWN
DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.
Are we?


RHU
Dawn walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
... yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Dust.
Oh, Dust. It's like that metal thing earlier. Only you crazy guys can go through it. Unless Radek wants to chat it up.
It's like that metal thing earlier.
 
Only you crazy guys can go through it.
Unless RAdek wants to chat it up.
Radek glances at the ceiling.
Radek glances at the ceiling.
DAWN
Are we?


RADEK
RADEK
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
Dave walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
 
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Use mints!
Use mints!
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
RHU
(at the wall)
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?
 
 
INT. Walls - underground complex
 
While all of that is going on, Greibel walks through several more walls and then finds the stairs, right in the direction Dawn had indicated.
 
 
INT. Room - underground complex


RADEK
RADEK
Bah. Fine!
Bah. Fine! You there! Wall! Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
Frezak (GM): I'm a wingman!


RADEK
The wall says nothing.
You there! Wall!
Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
Apheori (GM): The wall says nothing.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
RHU
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?
Bear Soup Guy: Can I hear him?


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,243: Line 680:
DAWN
DAWN
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
(To Greibel): Depends on what you do on the other side - do you keep walking after walking into the wall?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
"Supposed' is worth little, it seems.


RADEK
RADEK
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!


THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek tries walking through the wall. To him, it seems solid.
"supposed' is worth little, it seems.


DAWN
DAWN
Or you could just use the...
Or you could just use the...
Ganelon: I'll try walking through it.
 
Dave points toward the doorway in the other direction.
Dawn points toward the door.
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
 
Greibel doesn't respond to Rhu's calls
Rhu looks.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Dawn tugs Rhu's sleeve and then leads him toward the door, back out into the maze of corridors. He follows without objection.
(
5
)
=
5
Ooh, nice and low.
Apheori (GM): You run into it.
It is solid.
Ganelon: Damn.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, I have an idea.
Okay, I have an idea. You hold onto the orb. And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.
You hold onto the orb.
And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.


RADEK
RADEK
That isn't likely to help /you/ pass through it.
That isn't likely to help ''you'' pass through it.
Rhu looks through the doorwya Dave pointed out


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It is if I break the wall.
It is if I break the wall.
(To Greibel): You walk through several walls and find the stairs, I suppose.
 
Radek shrugs.
Radek shrugs.


RADEK
RADEK
Very well.
Very well.
Dave tugs Rhu's sleeve and starts to lead him toward the doorway.
Ganelon: This may actually have been the first time Radek showed enough concern to point out that something was likely to endanger one of you guys.
Frezak (GM): I suppose I don't have proficiency in Improvised Weapon: Little old mad scientist?
Rhu lets Dave lead him
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+5
(
12
)
+5
=
17
EAAAAGLE
Apheori (GM): You smash the little old mad scientist into the wall and the orb lets out a glowing pulse.
Gravy: For a moment, everything feels as mad as when you were holding it, then it's back to normal.
Frezak (GM): Okay.
I pick up radek.
Hold him tight.
Apheori (GM): Dave leads Rhu out in the hallway and then down a few more in the general direction she had been pointing.
Frezak (GM): And just leap into the wall, Radek-first.
Apheori (GM): d20s from both of you.
Ganelon: And to think.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
1
)
=
1
Ganelon: We're supposed to be the sane people.
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
YES
YEEEESSSS
Apheori (GM): XD
Frezak (GM): GO TEAM
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: Man, the odds of that!
Frezak (GM): WE DESCEND INTO MADNESS
Apheori (GM): You both disappear into the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness.
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO


RADEK
The Gravedigger picks up Radek, holds him tight, and leaps into the wall, smashing the little old mad scientist into it head-first. The orb lets out a glowing pulse. ''(rolled 17 attack)'' For a moment, everything feels as mad as it had when he had been holding the orb himself, but then it goes back to normal - right as they both pass right through the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness. ''(both rolled 1 reality)''
It's astounding that the other still doubt us.
 
Ganelon: others*
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): And to think. We're supposed to be the sane people.
Apheori (GM): Everything is dark. You feel little to nothing, and see even less. You can move, though, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of chese...
 
And power, too. You feel it, in the distance below you...
 
Frezak (GM): I'm still using Radek as a shield.
INT. Stairwell - underground complex
TO POWER
 
Powerrrrr
Dawn and Rhu find Greibel smoking by the entrance to the stairs.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Dave leads you to a stairwell, and you find Greibel smoking by the entrance.
Frezak (GM): Is he wearing a fedora and leaning against a lamp-post?


RHU
RHU
Hey!
Hey!
Greibel looks up
 
Greibel looks up.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You descent into the darkness, losing sense of direction, including where you were supposed to be going. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will come to pass.


RHU
RHU
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
Ganelon: It certainly doesn't matter, yes.


DAWN
DAWN
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce.
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce. Probably.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
GREIBEL
This is it.
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here.
WHat I have been seeking.
 
All this time!
 
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL
INT. Not quite midnight
 
Everything is dark. There little to no sensation, and even less to see. As Radek and the Gravedigger drift through the dark, they find the can still move, here, even without substance, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of cheese...
 
And power, too. They feel it, in the distance below them...
 
RADEK
It's astounding that the others still doubt us.


GREIBEL
The Gravedigger is still using Radek as a shield, and he directs them toward that power, moving them closer, closer, closer.
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further you go, the more aware you become of existence beyond what you've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
What's your wills?
Ganelon: My will is...


THE GRAVEDIGGER
They descend into the darkness, losing all sense of direction, including where they were supposed to be going in the first place. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will yet come to pass.
The stories. All true...
Ganelon: 15. Actually pretty okay.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THEY SAID I WAS MAD
This is it. What I have been seeking. All this time!
Apheori (GM): What's Greibel's will?
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
They're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further they go, the more aware they become of the existence beyond what they've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
I'll SHOW THEM
Frezak (GM): 13 will, here >.>


GREIBEL
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
17
Frezak (GM): GO DEFENDER CLASS.
Apheori (GM): Okay, that explains a thing or two.
Ganelon: Will comes from wisdom and charisma rather than intelligence. Radek only has a bit of wisdom and obviously he's an unlikable jerk.
Apheori (GM): Radek: This isn't right. It feels wonderful, perfect, but it isn't right.
He's smart enough and has enough willpower to figure that out.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I WILL HAVE YOU
The stories. All true...
AND SHOW THE WORLD
THEY SAID I WAS MAD. I'll SHOW THEM.
I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF
I WILL HAVE YOU. AND SHOW THE WORLD. I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF.


RADEK
RADEK
Hey. Gravy.
Hey. Gravy. This isn't a shovel.
This isn't a shovel.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT. I WILL- what?
I WILL- what?


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,410: Line 775:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.
Oh. Damn.
Damn.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,420: Line 784:


RADEK
RADEK
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.  
 
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh.
We going back to the guys, then?


RADEK
INT. Stairwell - underground complex
I... suppose.
 
RHU
Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
 
DAWN
Yeah, maybe. How long does it take to bash in a wall?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
GREIBEL
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff?
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
I'm sure something cool will happen.


RHU
RHU
(to Greibel and Dave) Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!


RADEK
Greibel takes another bong hit.
What? No!
Apheori (GM): You're IN the power stuff, though, including the orb.


RADEK
Rhu starts to head back toward the room.
Also, it's...
Not in my hands.


DAWN
DAWN
Yeah, maybe.
(to Greibel)
Gaurav: Are they still falling?
Guard the way?
Ganelon: Or, wait.
 
RHU
Guard what way?
 
GREIBEL
Yes, which way?


DAWN
DAWN
How long does it take to bash in a wall?
Stand... I mean? Guard.
Ganelon: Sorry, I think I misunderstood.
It's probably still in his hands.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
(he salutes)
Apheori (GM): I thought Radek was holding it, and Gravy holding Radek...
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
 
Rhu and Dawn head back.
 
 
INT. Not quite midnight
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh. We going back to the guys, then?
 
RADEK
I... suppose.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff? I'm sure something cool will happen.
 
RADEK
What? No!
 
Even so, he probably couldn't drop it if he wanted to - the orb is basically gone, as are their hands and everything about them. At this point, they have become little more than consciousness surrounded by warm glowing power.


RHU
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
Ganelon: Yeah, that's right.
Greibel takes another bong hit
Rhu heads back to the wall where Greibel fell in
Ganelon: I definitely misunderstood. Ignore that last bit.
Apheori (GM): On the other hand neither of you arguably even have hands at the moment.
And you couldn't separate or drop anything anyway. You're basically consciousnesses surrounded by warm glowing power.
And it's getting stronger.
And it's getting stronger.
Ganelon: Might that be a sign of danger?
Apheori (GM): Probably.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,476: Line 850:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
All right.
All right.
DAWN
(to Greibel) Guard the way?


RADEK
RADEK
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
Apheori (GM): Roll wisdom to move.
Ganelon: +5, I guess?


RHU
Slowly they will themselves to move, away from the light, into the cold, empty darkness. ''(rolled 19 collective wisdom)''
Guard what way?
 
Frezak (GM):
It's horrible.
rolling 1D20+2
 
(
It's the worst thing either have them have ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
10
 
)
And then they realise they have no idea where they're going.
+2
 
=
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): None of that sounds unusual.
12
Apheori (GM): You can combine your wisdoms.
Frezak (GM): I'm a Warden.
my stats suck.


GREIBEL
Then, finally, after what feels like an eternity, it ends, and the pop out into searing light and colour, exploding through every aspect of their beings.
Yes, which way?
Ganelon: I mean, my wisdom defense is 15, but everyone starts at 10.


DAWN
Stand... I mean?
Frezak (GM): Will or Wisdom?


DAWN
INT. Room - underground complex
It's a figure of speech.
Ganelon: Oh right.
Sorry.
Greibel salutes
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+3
(
4
)
+3
=
7
Bah.


GREIBEL
Rhu and Dawn get back to find the room they had left empty, basically the way they had left it, no sign of the Gravedigger or Radek. The wall isn't even bashed.
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
Ganelon: Well my wisdom + 1/2 level is 3.
Apheori (GM): Do you want to move away from the light into the cold, empty darkness?
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
There is no shovel.
Ganelon: Yes.
Frezak (GM): There is no reason to be here.
Apheori (GM): You do.
It's horrible.
It's the worst thing you've ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
And then you realise you have no idea where you're going.
Frezak (GM): None of that sounds unusual.
Gaurav: Man. This campaign is such an emotional rollercoaster sometimes.
Ganelon: Seriously.
Gaurav: Does Rhu remember the way back to where he left Radek and Gravy?
Ganelon: I laughed. I cried. I went insane several times.
Apheori (GM): Also Rhu goes back to the room and Dave follows him. But it's empty and the wall ain't even bashed.
Frezak (GM): I just went mad and stayed there.


RHU
RHU
Huh.
Huh.
Rhu looks down the corridors to see where they went.


RHU
Rhu looks down the corridors to see if he can tell where they might have gone, but there's no sign.
No sign of a struggle.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek and Gravy: You keep going and then pop out into light and space and colour and collapse on the floor.
The Gravedigger and Radek suddenly pop out of the wall and collapse on the floor in a heap at Dawn's feet.
 
Dawn takes a step back in surprise.
 
Radek groans quietly.
Radek groans quietly.
Apheori (GM): Dave is standing over you, but she takes a step back in surprise.


DAWN
DAWN
Oh... what?
Oh... what?
(yelling back toward the door) RHU!
(yelling back toward the door)
Found them!
RHU! Found them!


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey.
Hey. Is it lunchtime?
Is it lunchtime?


RHU
RHU
Line 1,565: Line 894:


DAWN
DAWN
Do you have lunch?
Floor, apparently.
Floor, apparently.


Line 1,572: Line 900:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THere wasn't a shovel.
There wasn't a shovel.
 
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.


RHU
RHU
*shrugs* It's lunchtime SOMEwhere.
It's lunchtime somewhere.
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sounds good to me.
Sounds good to me.
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere....
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere...  
 
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.


RHU
RHU
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
Radek mumbles to himself.
Radek mumbles to himself.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We ended up here.
We ended up here.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx, now wrapped around Dave's shoulders, says, "Hungry."


THE GRAVEDIGGER
SPHINX
Pickle and cheese?
(on Dawn's shoulders)
WHo packed this? I never make pickle and cheese?
Hungry.
Apheori (GM): It's staring at Gravy.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(looking at a sandwich he pulled out)
Pickle and cheese? Who packed this? I never make pickle and cheese. Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(he pulls out another bag)
Wait, no, here they are.
Wait, no, here they are.


Line 1,604: Line 935:


RHU
RHU
(to Sphinx) Do you want more stories?
(to the sphinx)
The sphinx: (still staring at Gravy) Stories.
Do you want more stories?
 
SPHINX
(staring at Gravy)
Stories.
 
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind. The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have sandwiches.
I have sandwiches. So tough. Well, I might have some soup. Chicken and noodle.
So tough.
Well, I might have some soup.
Chicken and noodle.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,621: Line 955:
RADEK
RADEK
I want to be outside.
I want to be outside.
The Gravedigger shrugs.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
All i got is sandwiches.
(he shrugs)
Ganelon: Can't really fault him for that.
All I got is sandwiches.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will eat some sandwiches.
 
Apheori (GM): The walls will make unhappy noises.
The walls groan.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, ready.
Okay, ready. Where now?
Where now?
Ganelon: Back to the stairs, everyone?
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind


RHU
RHU
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
 
Y'all head back to the stairs, the.
Dawn leads everyone back to the stairs, and Greibel.
n
 
And Greibel.
They go up.
Rhu nods at the sphinx, still keeping a distance.
 
Apheori (GM): Any remarks, or do y'all head on up the stairs and out?
Ganelon: Not from me, at least.
Frezak (GM): I'm good.
Gaurav: I'm still following Gravy wherever he goes.
Frezak (GM): I AM A BEACON IN THIS DARK LAND
And probably the most crazy of you people, you just don't know it.
Gaurav: Literally so, if you still have torches on your horns.
Frezak (GM): Oh, that too.
Gaurav: Probably, which is why it's best to stay behind you.
Frezak (GM): I can only charge forwards!
Apheori (GM): Or sit backwards.
You go up.
And up.
And up.
Aaaaand up.
Gaurav: We still have the mouseforged, the porridge, and the sphinx, right?
Apheori (GM): Dave winds up riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
Yes.
Anyone else care to try climbing on as well?
Frezak (GM): Nah, I'm endurable.
Gaurav: Rhu'll pass; it's tempting, but it looks plenty crowded as it is.
Ganelon: Radek would, but the strength in his legs is not worth the risk of him falling down a flight of stairs due to disk overpopulation.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: Plus he's carrying an orb and doesn't feel like sharing.
Even if that might protect him from falling down a flight of stairs.
Frezak (GM): I can carry Radek.
Apheori (GM): After an annoyingly long climb you come to a final door (there may have been a few on landings and crap on the way up), pass through, and wind up in a crypt.
Frezak (GM): Hmmm.


RHU
And up.
This is pretty deep, wherever "this" is.
 
 
INT. CRYPT
 
After an annoyingly long climb, a few transfers to slightly different staircases, and a fair bit of grumbling, the party, complete with midget, Mouseforged, porridge, and sphinx, come to a final door and spill out into a crypt.
 
It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap. Nothing looks to have disturbed it recently, but it's clean.
 
Behind them, the door closes and becomes almost indistinguishable from the rest of the wall, though they could probably still use it since they now know it's there.
 
By this point, Dawn is riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
 
The Gravedigger shines his horn-torches around.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
Gaurav: How do I test this? Will a Perception check do?
Oh, Religion check!
rolling 1d20+8 religion checks the HECK out of this crypt
(
4
)
+8
=
12
Frezak (GM): You want me to use Gravyvision?
Apheori (GM): Apparently you came out through a secret door. Do you close it?


RHU
Rhu shrugs.
You sense nothing active.
Gaurav: With a '12', that probably means there's an undead hiding behind the next crypt >.<


RADEK
RADEK
I'll go first.
I'll go first.
Frezak (GM): Orcus is crouching behind a broom.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek?
Radek? Are you protected against magic?
Are you protected against magic?
Gaurav: You fool! He IS the broom!


RADEK
RADEK
Quite possibly.
Quite possibly.
Frezak (GM): HAH
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy. Cold may be a concern.
Gaurav: Does the secret door look like it might be impossible for us to find if we close it? Like, is it REALLY/magically well hidden?


RADEK
The Gravedigger activates gravyvision and detects a very small amount of external light coming from the right. ''(rolled 31 perception)'' There are also some shiny things glinting amongst the bones - coins apparently dropped in with them.
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy.
Apheori (GM): It's really well hidden, but since you know it's there it shouldn't be an issue.
No magic seems to be involved.
Rhu closes the secret door behind us


RADEK
The Gravedigger turns and marches off in the direction of the light.
Cold may be a concern.


RHU
The others follow.
So: crypt.
It might be time for Gravyvision.
The Gravedigger:
rolling 1D20+20
(
11
)
+20
=
31
Apheori (GM): It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap.
Gravyvision detects light in that direction.
Frezak (GM): I GO TO THE LIGHT
Unless you mean it's my light;
Apheori (GM): And some shiny things amidst the bones.
Other light.
Ganelon: Shiny things sound important.
Or valuable.
Frezak (GM): Shiny things!
I examinate.
Ganelon: Or maybe we're all magpies. I wouldn't terribly mind that, either.
Gaurav: plot twist: we were magpies all along.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be coins put with the bones.
Frezak (GM): http://oglaf.com/illusionist/
GRAB
Shinies.
Gaurav: Frezak: ha ha HA
yay money!
Frezak (GM): moneymoneymoney
Gaurav: btw does the sphinx look anything like this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/121b86281db10bc66880e87180c140c2/tumblr_n3020vOjlJ1s83h8do2_1280.jpg
Frezak (GM): I'm sure it does indeed look like a scared peasant.
Gaurav: Scared?! Pretty sure that dude is just annoyed. "Not dragons AGAIN god fifth time this year"
Ganelon: "Oh. My. GOD. Fucking dragons AGAIN."
"I am so done with this."
Gaurav: "I'm moving to Egypt you only get the occasional sphinx there at least they're cute"
Frezak (GM): What, he's a teenage child?
Apheori (GM): It looks like a fluffy cat with wings.
A himalayan or something.
So what do you do?
Loot the crypt?
Frezak (GM): Any reason why not, guys?
Ganelon: Do you loot the dead?
Gaurav: oof, fluffy
Ganelon: Well, Radek is a godless sort.
He's got no objections.


RHU
The light turns out to be a small crack under the bottom of a door.
We might want to look around for anyone who might be offended and/or armed first, but then ...
Frezak (GM): Waaaait.
no.
Gravy will have to put a stop to looting this place.
I forgot what his name meant for a moment.
I was blinded by gilt.
Coins down, find a way out.


RHU
The door itself is locked.
I'm fine with that.
Gaurav: Just struck me that as a devout Hazz'ridanism, Rhu finds dead people creepy only when they don't stay in their crypts, and especially if they concern themselves with money or other baubles.
so he eyes the coins but doesn't pick 'em up when Gravy expresses his opinion
Frezak (GM): It's proffesionalism.
However.
I'm totes for killling living people and stealing their shit.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel is godless but doesn't much care about money either
Ganelon: Well yeah, of course.
Apheori (GM): And then burying them
?
Gaurav: Plus, Rhu is really happy that we seem to finally be getting out of this underground complex of dead people.
Ganelon: Weren't we all hired for that sort of ethical flexibility?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
I'll bury anyone.
Apheori (GM): So moving on, y'all look for a way out, which is to say you follow Gravy toward the faint light he saw.
Gaurav: Going to do a quick perception check around this crypt in case anyone missed anything
rolling 1d20+12
(
15
)
+12
=
27
Frezak (GM): good lord.
Gaurav: *shrugs*
Apheori (GM): It's not terribly interesting.
Gaurav: Fair enough.
Onwards!
Ganelon: FREEDOM!?
Apheori (GM): The light is a crack under a door. The door itself is locked.
What do?


RHU
RHU
(whispers) ... should we knock?
(whispers)
Ganelon: What kind of lock are we talking about here?
...should we knock?
They might be a little creeped out that people want to '''leave''' the crypt.


RHU
The Gravedigger listens intently for anything on the other side. ''(rolled 35 perception)'' He hears voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.
They might be a little creeped out that people want to _leave_ the crypt
Ganelon: Because if it's a padlock on the other side, we're in trouble.
Frezak (GM): I don't think knocking on the inside door of a locked crypt is smart.
What's the door made of?
Apheori (GM): Wood.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, that.
pfft.
Ganelon: Ah, so smashing is an option.
Frezak (GM): I want to listen to see if I can hear anything on the other side;
rolling 1D20+20
(
15
)
+20
=
35
Ganelon: But if the lock is pickable I might be able to do that.


DAWN
DAWN
Would you knick if you were dead?
Would you knock if you were dead?
Apheori (GM): knock


RADEK
RADEK
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
Apheori (GM): You hear voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.


DAWN
DAWN
Am I?
Am I? Oh. Cool!
Oh.
Cool!


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 1,843: Line 1,034:


RHU
RHU
(to Dave) Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
(to Dawn)
Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.


Line 1,851: Line 1,043:
RHU
RHU
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
... do we want to tell them about ... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.
...do we want to tell them about... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, no reason to tell them.
Yeah, no reason to tell them. If we have to say, we were Hole'd.
If we have to say, we were Hole'd
Rhu nods


THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu nods.
Can anyone imitate a ghost?


RHU
RHU
Line 1,865: Line 1,054:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or zombie or whatever?
Can anyone imitate a ghost? Or zombie or whatever?
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.


RHU
RHU
Imitate a ghost?
Imitate a ghost?
We could set the porridge on them.
We could set the porridge on them. Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?


DAWN
DAWN
I'm a zombie.
I'm a zombie.
RHU
Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?


RHU
DAWN
Isn't there a cantrip allowing wizards to throw their voices or something?
(sounding a bit like a pig)
Frezak (GM): Yeah, but none of us are wizards.
Grooonk. Er.


DAWN
Dawn looks embarassed.
Grooonk.
Er.
Frezak (GM): That sounds like a pig.
Dave looks embarassed.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH. NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH.
NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH


DAWN
DAWN
Hurrung?
Hurrung?
Ganelon: Radek's an artificer. Not quite the same thing.


DAWN
DAWN
Noom.
Noom.
Dave waggles her fingers.
 
Gaurav: Dave is the cutest.
Dawn waggles her fingers.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 1,909: Line 1,091:


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
You guys are all wrong
You guys are all wrong. A proper ghost noise is WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
A proper ghost noise is
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
...
Sorry, Greibel.
Sorry, Greibel.


Line 1,921: Line 1,100:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,927: Line 1,106:


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oh hey, there's an idea
Oh hey, there's an idea. SPIDER ATTACK.
SPIDER ATTACK
 
Gaurav: DAMN
Dawn unlocks and opens the door a crack and peers behind it.
that's a good idea
 
Ganelon: Thank you.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and scuttles through.
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
I was gonna cover myself in bone-dust and charge through.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, so
Dave opens the door and peers behind it.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and goes under the door
Gaurav: Huh?


DAWN
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Spiders! Spiders!
Ganelon: I thought the door was locked.
 
Gaurav: I thought it was locked?
Dawn runs out after them.
Dave runs after them.
Frezak (GM): I tohught it was locked!
Apheori (GM): It was.
Apparently she unlocked it somehow.
Ganelon: Daaaave!
Gaurav: Huh. Sneaky.
Frezak (GM): Goddamit.


RHU
RHU
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
Gaurav: So how do the people one the other side respond to Dave+spiders?
Apheori (GM): Well, the spiders are through the door.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.
Apheori (GM): One of them shrieks and runs away.
 
Another just sort of stares.
 
A third facepalms.
INT. Temple - day
 
The spiders, followed by Dawn, come out into a temple, tall, stone, and full of windows letting in various motes of sunlight, though the decorations are austere. Four people, all human, are standing around chatting - two priests, Doros and Nereem, and two townsfolk.
 
At the sight of the spiders, one of the townspersons shrieks and flees out the main door, slamming it in his wake.
 
Doros falcepalms.
 
Nereem and the other townsperson just stare.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
(from behind the door)
Apheori (GM): I guess the fourth also just stares.
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
Bear Soup Guy: There's a LOT of spiders
Apheori (GM): It's a temple, four people (well, three now since one ran away). Two of them appear to be priests of some sorts.
Ganelon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYyO44U2BQ4
I imagine something close to this.


RHU
Rhu pokes his way in after the spiders and the midget, and the Gravedigger comes out as well, opening the door the rest of the way. As soon as he's through, the Mouseforged disk floats out as well, trailing to catch up with Dawn.
(looking at Mr. (Mrs?) Facepalm) Hey!
Apheori (GM): The spiders are a huge mass of spiders.
And Dave's just sort of running after them.
Ganelon: Except if our druid was also an evil genie I think I'd have noticed by now.
Gaurav: It would explain a lot.


RHU
RHU
Is this your crypt?
Hey! Is this your crypt?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You can have it back.
You can have it back.
Apheori (GM): The guy looks toward Rhu and Gravy and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit.
 
Ganelon: It would.
The Gravedigger waves.
The Gravedigger waves.
Apheori (GM): Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
 
Guy: Just what do you think you're doing?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
Frezak (GM): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
 
Nereem looks toward Rhu and the Gravedigger and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit. Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
 
Radek follows, coming out a bit behind the others.
 
NEREEM
Just what do you think you're doing?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Walking our your crypt.
Walking out your crypt.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 1,996: Line 1,164:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
*walking out
Egressing.
Egressing.
Guy: You're graverobbers, are you?
 
You expect us to just let you walk out?
NEREEM
You're graverobbers, are you? You expect us to just let you walk out?


DAWN
DAWN
Spiders!
Spiders!
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height.
 
The Gravedigger stomps to be toe-to-toe with the man.
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height and stomps up to be toe-to-toe with Nereem.
Ganelon: Admittedly, you do kinda look like The Graverobber.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.
Dave picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in the guy's face.
 
Dawn picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in Nereem's face.


DAWN
DAWN
Line 2,015: Line 1,183:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER.
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER. I BURY PEOPLE. I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD.
I BURY PEOPLE.
 
I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD
Nereem falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Dawn's handful of Greibel.
Apheori (GM): The guy falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Daeś handful of Greibel.
 
Dave's*
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): "For a handfull of Greibel"
Frezak (GM): "For a handfull of Greibel"
 
Ganelon: "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): "I signed up for shrine maidens! No-one told me about screaming horned giants!"


DAWN
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Spiders! Spiders!
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
Frezak (GM): Damn aracnophobes.
The other townsperson, who up to this point had just been hanging around watching, finally decides to leave as well, this apparently being just a bit too much for him.
Apheori (GM): At this, the other non-priest also leaves, since this is apparently just a bit too much for him.
 
The other priest approaches and asks, "Okay, what were you doing in there?"
Rhu follows and checks out the door before coming back to the others.
Frezak (GM): "I signed up for shrine maidens!"
 
"No-one told me about screaming horned giants"
The other priest, Doros, approaches the Gravedigger trying to look non-threatening.
 
DOROS
Okay, what were you doing in there?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
The Gravedigger continues to eye the first priest.
 
Priest 1 tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel.
The Gravedigger continues to eye Nereem.
Priest 1 curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
 
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff
Nereem tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel. He then curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
Priest 2: A hole?
 
Gaurav: These priests need names.
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff.
Frezak (GM): The hippie druid has got my back!
 
DOROS
A hole?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hole. Capital H.
Hole. Capital H. A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else? Like a door without a frame. Magic stuff.
Rhu walks over to the door to this room and glances out


THE GRAVEDIGGER
Doros looks the Gravedigger up and down.
A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else?
 
Like a door without a frame.
DOROS
Magic stuff.
Not one you dug yourself, then. It came out in the crypt?
Priest 2 looks the Gravedigger up and down.
Priest 2: Not one you dug yourself, then.
It came out in the crypt?


RHU
RHU
Line 2,063: Line 1,234:
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.


RADEK
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Damned inconvenient things.
There's gold lying about in there. You should take better care of it.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The door leads outside - looks like you're back in Coffle, it's late afternoon.


RADEK
RADEK
And dangerous, too.
Damned inconvenient things. And dangerous, too.


RHU
RHU
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve.
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve. Also guys?
Hey guys? *grins* I think we're back in Coffle.
(he grins)
Priest 1 continues to rock back and forth, whimpering.
I think we're back in Coffle.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There's gold lying about in there.
Oh, that's great, Rhu. We don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
You should take better care of it.
 
Ganelon: I'm so happy with how this spider thing turned out.
RHU
Priest 2: Yes, this is Coffle.
The Car! We can get out of here!
 
DOROS
Hazz'ridan, you say?
Hazz'ridan, you say?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
Nereem continues to rock back and forth on the floor, whimpering.
Oh, that's great, Rhu.
 
Priest 2: So it's true, then. It's starting up again.
DOROS
So it's true, then. It's starting up again.


RHU
RHU
Yes, Hazz'ridan. *shows him the Hazz'ridan implement I wear on a string around my neck*
Yes, Hazz'ridan.
... what's starting up again?
(he shows the priest the Hazz'ridan implement around his neck)
(to Gravy) What's great?
...what's starting up again?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
DOROS
(to Rhu) we don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known. Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Priest 2: That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known.
Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?


RHU
RHU
The Car! We can get out of here!
What is an Arah?
Frezak (GM): What.


RHU
DOROS
What is an Arah?
Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Frezak (GM): GORRAMIT, RHU
Priest 2: Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Now answer the question.
Now answer the question.


RHU
RHU
King of the sandcastle?
King of the sandcastle?
Priest 2: Who reigns?
 
DOROS
Who reigns?


RHU
RHU
King of the sandcastle.
King of the sandcastle.
o.0
0.o
Frezak (GM): Greibel.


RHU
Rhu stares blankly, then suddenly, excitedly, starts fishing out his notes.
0.0!!!!!!


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel.
Greibel. Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.
 
RHU
It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.


RHU
RHU
(reading)
"It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!"
Well, I had.
Well, I had.


Line 2,143: Line 1,305:
DAWN
DAWN
But this is Arling Tor.
But this is Arling Tor.
Wait, did you say Lokshmi?
Wait, did you say Lokshmi? The... the... the...
The... the... the...
 
Dave gestures ineffectively, then shouts "SPIDERS!"
Dawn gestures ineffectively, then shouts:
Priest 2: You are a very long way from home indeed.
 
DAWN
SPIDERS!


RHU
RHU
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
The sphinx: HUNGRY!
 
DOROS
You are a very long way from home indeed.
 
SPHINX
HUNGRY!


RHU
RHU
Yes, I suppose giant fish *would* make you hungry.
Yes, I suppose giant fish ''would'' make you hungry.
The sphinx jumps onto Amadi's head and looms overhead.
 
Frezak (GM): Amadi isn't here.
The sphinx jumps onto Dawn's head and looms in Rhu's direction.
Gaurav: Wait, Amadi's back?
 
Ganelon: "Ajirahd and Irundha"
Rhu backs away from Dawn and the sphinx. Doros steps away from them as well.
Apheori (GM): Dave, sorry.
 
Ganelon: That's what Lokshmi said to us.
Dawn shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.
Rhu backs away from Dave and cat.
Priest 2 backs away as well.
Ganelon: So... good on ya for remembering that.
Dave shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,172: Line 1,337:


RHU
RHU
Yes, but ... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff?
Yes, but... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff? Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
 
Priest 2: I am Doros, and that is Nereem (pointing to the spider-covered quivering ball).
DOROS
I am Doros, and that...
(he points to the spider-covered quivering ball)
Is Nereem. We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hrmph.
Hrmph.
DOROS
We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,186: Line 1,351:


DOROS
DOROS
(skeptically)
Beat Kyrule over the head.
Beat Kyrule over the head.


RHU
RHU
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser elf than me.
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser man than me.
 
Doros rolls his eyes.


DOROS
DOROS
Why am I not surprised?
Why am I not surprised?
Apheori (GM): This guy isn't an elf.
 
Gaurav: Oh? Human?
The sphinx walks over to Nereem and eats a spider.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Folks on this world seem to be mostly human.
Some elves.
Gaurav: Was the guy in the hologram video also human, then
?
Apheori (GM): He was an elf.
I just decided.
The sphinx walks over to the other priest and eats a spider.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have an archive/library?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
BAD SPHINX.
BAD SPHINX. SPIT. NO EATING THE DRUID
SPIT.
 
NO EATING THE DRUID
The sphinx grins at the Gravedigger.
The sphinx grins at Gravy.
 
Frezak (GM): I CHARGE THE SPHINX
The Gravedigger charges the sphinx.
Rhu takes up a defensive position to Gravy's left
 
Frezak (GM): Have to say.
Rhu readies his maul.
I love the Rhuvian support.
 
Apheori (GM): Roll something.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20+9+1
The Gravedigger takes a mighty swing, but winds up tripping over the sphinx instead of attacking it. ''(rolled 11 attack (natural 1))''
(
 
1
The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily. He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
)
 
+9+1
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): GRAAAGH. I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT.
=
 
11
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): You know, Radek? I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Cat.... AC?
 
GORRAM
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
Gaurav: Someone's got to watch the flank.
 
oof
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I DONT CARE. I HATE IT.
Frezak (GM): I'm surprisingly bad at hitting things.
 
Ganelon: I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
The Gravedigger picks himself up slowly, and then very deliberately turns back to Doros.
Apheori (GM): You wind up tripping over it instead of attacking it.
Frezak (GM): GRAAAGH
I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT
Apheori (GM): The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily.
He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
Frezak (GM): You know, Radek?
I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Ganelon: I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
Frezak (GM): I DONT CARE.
I HATE IT.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you guys exorcise a cat?
Can you guys exorcise a cat? As in, banish the cat?
As in, banish the cat?
 
RHU
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.


DOROS
DOROS
I do not know.
I do not know.  
(addressing the sphinx)
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?


RADEK
RADEK
Tormenting us.
Tormenting us.
The sphinx: Hungry.


RHU
SPHINX
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.
Hungry.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Holy water?
Holy water? Orbital cannon? Vorpal blade?
Orbital cannon?
Vorpal blade?


RADEK
RADEK
If only.
If only.
DAWN
You mean when he behaves well. All behaviour is behaving.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Neutron bomb?
Neutron bomb?
RADEK
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.


DAWN
DAWN
Is that...
It is behaving. Always.
...the sky?
Dave walks over to a window and stares out.


RADEK
Dawn walks over to a window and stares out in amazement.
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.
 
DAWN
Is that... the sky?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek.
Radek. We have to go back. And get the One True Shovel.
We have to go back.
ANd get the One True Shovel.


RADEK
RADEK
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
RHU
It is possible that I just mean behaving, as compared to chaotically -- sky?


RADEK
RADEK
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel?
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel? Perhaps. But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.
Perhaps.
But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What do you need to do this?
What do you need to do this? How can I help?
How can I help?
Gaurav: But a man's reach should exceed his grasp / or what's a heaven for
Well, elf.


DOROS
DOROS
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What if we just cut off it's legs?
What if we just cut off its legs? Put it in a hole?
Put it in a hole?
 
Nereem: Oh the humanity.
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem.
 
NEREEM
Oh the humanity.
 
Nereem collapses under the suddenly consolidated weight.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
Nereem collapses under the now localised weight.


GREIBEL
GREIBEL
HONK!
HONK!
No wait, that's not right
No wait, that's not right. A-okay, Cap'n!
A-okay, Cap'n!


RHU
RHU
Line 2,321: Line 1,462:


DOROS
DOROS
(to the sphinx) Stories, is it?
(to the sphinx)
Stories, is it?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 2,328: Line 1,470:
DOROS
DOROS
How did you make it come?
How did you make it come?
The sphinx: Stories.
 
SPHINX
Stories.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps a pain.
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps being a pain.
*keeps being a pain


RHU
RHU
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody.
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody. Speaking of which...
Speaking of which ...
 
Ganelon: Are you about to go crazy and/or attack everybody?
Rhu draws the sphinx away from the others with another story, this one a long tale about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by. He keeps his distance from the sphinx as best he can in the doing.
Frezak (GM): Who?
 
Rhu tells the sphinx a long story about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by
Doros pulls Greibel up off of Nereem.
Gaurav: no, just coming up with a story to tell :)
 
Ganelon: Rhu.
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized.
Rhu keeps his distance from the sphinx as he tells this story, though
 
Doros ignores him and just picks up Nereem and sets him on his feet as well, and then sends him into the back to sort himself out.
 
Nereem shuffles off uncertainly, glancing back at Greibel in fear.


DOROS
DOROS
Line 2,348: Line 1,494:


RHU
RHU
He followed me. I .. ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples.
He followed me. I... ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples. And when I came back, he showed up as well. And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm. That's all I know.
And when i came back, he showed up as well.
And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm.
That's all I know.


DOROS
DOROS
What did you offer it?
What did you offer it?
Rhu thinks
 
Rhu thinks.


RHU
RHU
Er
Er. I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
Apheori (GM): Is greibel still sitting on the other priest? Because if so, Doros tells him to pliease get off.


RHU
I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Ganelon: It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!


DOROS
DOROS
Line 2,371: Line 1,512:


RHU
RHU
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through ... Arah, was it? ... all the way back here!
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through... Arah, was it? ...all the way back here!


DOROS
DOROS
Who would?
Who would? Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't. But nor do people talk to them. Add one, and it seems you may get the other.
Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't.
But nor do people talk to them.
Add one, and it seems you may get the oter.


RHU
RHU
... you're saying we can *bore* it into leaving?
...you're saying we can ''bore'' it into leaving?


DOROS
DOROS
It's possible.
It's possible. But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
 
Ganelon: "Everyone, quickly!"
'''''Ganelon (Radek)''': "Everyone, quickly! Do nothing of interest!"
"Do nothing of interest!"
 
Frezak (GM): HIDE IN A HOLE
'''''Frezak (Gravy)''': HIDE IN A HOLE.


RHU
RHU
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
Doros snorts.
Doros snorts.
Doros then walks over to Nereem, picks him up and sets him on his feet, and sends him into the back to sort himself out.


RHU
RHU
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
(that was to the priests)


DOROS
DOROS
Line 2,411: Line 1,548:


RHU
RHU
Other planes are on their own at this pint.
Other planes are on their own at this point.
point*


DOROS
DOROS
Line 2,418: Line 1,554:


RHU
RHU
So: that would be a no?
So... that would be a no?


DOROS
DOROS
Line 2,427: Line 1,563:


DOROS
DOROS
(motioning toward Dawn, who is still staring at the clouds in awe)
Then ask her.
Then ask her.
Apheori (GM): He motions toward Dave, who is still staring at the clouds in awe.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,435: Line 1,571:
DOROS
DOROS
What happened on Sarathi.
What happened on Sarathi.
All at once, the space seems to change. It is as though everything is thinner, darker, unreal - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, still seeing, within the bubble of the temple.
Dawn looks back as well, seeing the change, through her very presense reminding the others that it happened, though the notion of when is already gone.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I don't go to church, so who knows?
While all of this is going on, the Gravedigger cleans his shovel.


RHU
RHU
... did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
...did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
Apheori (GM): You realise that space has sort of changed. It is as though everything is thinner, darker - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, within the bubble of the temple.
Dave looks back as well, seeing the change, reminding you that it happened, though you're not sure when.
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
Ganelon: I don't go to church, so who knows?


DOROS
DOROS
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
Frezak (GM): I'll... uh.... Clean my shovel >.>


DAWN
DAWN
Twins?
Twins?
The sphinx growls lowly.
The sphinx growls lowly.


RHU
RHU
She? You mean Dave?
She? You mean Dave? And... Sarathi De? Wha?
And ... Sarathi De?
Wha?


DOROS
DOROS
It was a game she played growing up.
It was a game she played growing up.
(to Dawn)
Do you remember?
Do you remember?


Line 2,467: Line 1,608:


RADEK
RADEK
(to Doros)
...Who are you, really?
...Who are you, really?
Ganelon: That being to Doros.
Frezak (GM): I AM YOUR FATHER
The guy in the holograms was Future Radek
Bear Soup Guy: I am the heavens, I am the water


DOROS
DOROS
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may speak.
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may converse now. But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
Radek grumbles to himself. "...Gods."


DOROS
RADEK
But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
(grumbling to himself)
Bear Soup Guy: Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
...Gods.


DAWN
DAWN
(cheerfully)
Foot fungus.
Foot fungus.
Apheori (GM): Guys. do something.
Frezak (GM): I have notihng to contribute.


RHU
Rhu just stands there looking confused.
I'm just confused.
 
Apheori (GM): Blargh.
The Gravedigger continues to clean his shovel.
Frezak (GM): Apparently Dave is a god;
 
Greibel smiles helpfully.


RADEK
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Apparently Dave is a god.
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't.
Gaurav: or played one as a kid.


RADEK
RADEK
We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't. We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?


DOROS
DOROS
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Gaurav: to translate the madness?
 
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): To translate the madness?
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I fyou're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything.
(putting his shovel away)
I'm going to go look for a pub.
If you're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything. I'm going to go look for a pub.
Ganelon: More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
 
The Gravedigger trudges out.
The Gravedigger trudges out.


DOROS
DOROS
Amadi won't translate.
Amadi won't translate. She should, but she won't.
She should, but she won't.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have. They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have.
They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,521: Line 1,657:


DOROS
DOROS
They have the power to mend the universe.
They have the power to mend the universe. It is who they were. Who they will be.
It is who they were. Who they will be.


RHU
RHU
Oh hello.
Oh hello. Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
So. We're collecting weirdos. We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.
So: we're collecting weirdos.
We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.


DAWN
DAWN
It won't work.
It won't work. It can't work. It's gone.
It can't work.
It's gone.


RHU
RHU
What's gone?
What's gone?
Dawn suddenly walks up to Doros and eyes him curiously.


DAWN
DAWN
Why are you in a man?
Why are you in a man?
Doros stares at her for a long moment, not responding. Then his expression turns to concern, and he reaches out to touch Dawn's face, but then stops.


DOROS
DOROS
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
Frezak (GM): You dirty, dirty boy.
 
Apheori (GM): Doros reaches out to touch her face, but then stops.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): You dirty, dirty boy.
And then everything goes back to normal and he seems to sag.
 
Gaurav: ... Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend ...
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): ...Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend...
 
Suddenly everything goes back to normal. The sun shines in once more like anything. Reality takes on a solid sheen. Time... is time once more.
 
Doros seems to sag.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,556: Line 1,695:
RHU
RHU
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Doros nods, and says, "Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again. Excuse me." He heads toward one of the back rooms.
 
DOROS
(he nods)
Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again.
Excuse me.
 
Doros heads toward one of the back rooms as well.


RHU
RHU
Huh.
Huh. I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect.
I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect
 
Apheori (GM) stares after him forlornly.
Dawn stares after him forlornly.
Dave stares after him forlornly.
 
Apheori (GM): Whoops.
DAWN
(absently)
She does remember. She just can't... reach it?


RADEK
RADEK
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot
 
Apheori (GM): Hah.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot.
Quite.


RADEK
RADEK
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
Ganelon: (Very probably session ending words there)
Gaurav: Just the two, no?
Ganelon: Well yeah, just two.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have a library or soemthing?


DAWN
The party heads out.
(absently) She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
 
Apheori (GM): Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
Ganelon: Good question.
 
I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Good question. I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
Frezak (GM): ...
 
A warmouse body, right?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): ...A warmouse body, right?
Gaurav: YES
 
Ganelon: Yeah, basically.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Yeah, basically.
Gaurav: Or we could find a normal mouse
 
and kill it
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
 
Gaurav: and take its body
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
 
Ganelon: For now I'll just drag it around, though.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): For now I'll just drag it around, though. It is walking, right? Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
It is walking, right?
 
Apheori (GM): It's on a disk.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': It's on a disk. It doesn't seem to be awake.
Ganelon: Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
 
Frezak (GM): I thought it was still disked.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Hm. That's abnormal.
Ganelon: Right.
 
But can I make it walk?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): MR MOUSIE. Radekradekradek SAVE HIM.
Apheori (GM): It doesn't seem to be awake.
 
Ganelon: Hm. That's abnormal.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that. They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body. Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.
Gaurav: I don't remember a library in town earlier, but I don't mind looking for one now.
 
Frezak (GM): MR MOUSIE
 
Radekradekradek SAVE HIM
EXT. Coffle temple district - day
Ganelon: But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that.
 
Frezak (GM): There's a College.
It's a street, there are temples around, and, for whatever reason, entirely too many guards are also milling about.
Ganelon: They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body.
 
Gaurav: oh, yes! a college! forgot about that.
The Gravedigger reaches out and acquires a guard.
Ganelon: Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.
 
Frezak (GM): And THEY might know about Warforged, too.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Since it's a magical construct.
Where is the college?
Apheori (GM): You don't know if there is a library or not, but you expect there probably would be. It's decently large.
 
Ask around.
The guard hits the Gravedigger with his weapon. It doesn't actually do any damage.
Frezak (GM): A guard told us about it.
 
I sort of assumed that we learnt where it was by magic >.>
GUARD
Apheori (GM): The college probably has one of its own, but perhaps it's all there is.
Er, sorry. Reflex. It's over down there...
Gaurav: Ask one of the hundreds of thousands of town guards milling around.
 
Apheori (GM): What Gaurav said.
The guard gives directions to the exact opposite side of town.
Frezak (GM): I reach out and acquire a guard.
 
And ask him where the College is.
Radek also asks about Rorik's weaponshop. Due to initially calling him Rurik there is a bit of confusion, but then they get directions to that as well. It turns out to be on the way to the college.
Apheori (GM): He hits you with his weapon thingy.
 
Frezak (GM): I can probably just step into the road, close my, eyes, and touch at least three guards.
They start walking in the indicated direction.
What?
Apheori (GM): He didn't appreciate being acquired.
Frezak (GM): I didn't pick him up!
I acquired his attention!
Apheori (GM): Reaching out?
Frezak (GM): At worst, poked him!
Apheori (GM): Sounds like a grab to me.
And he smacked you as a reflex.
Gaurav: Slip him some gold coins, boom, acquired
Frezak (GM): I did not grab him!
I poked him!
Apheori (GM): Okay, fine.
He tells you it's down there in some direction.
Frezak (GM): Is he as vague as you?
Apheori (GM): The directions are sound.
Frezak (GM): Or is that just you?
Right.
Apheori (GM): That
s me.
Gaurav: We should take down the address to the temple of Kyrule
in case we need to spend more time with Dave's boyfriend
Ganelon: Probably her ex, really.
Frezak (GM): TOT HE COLLEGE
Apheori (GM): What about Rorik?
Frezak (GM): Oh, right.
Sure.
Ganelon: They don't need to follow me.
Frezak (GM): We might get some lewt
We're not in any rush.
Apheori (GM): Does Radek go there, then? Does anyone follow?
Or do you want to call it a night now?
Frezak (GM): I dunno.
How are you guys for time?
Gaurav: I'm okay with calling it or going on.
Ganelon: Seems a nice place to stop
Gaurav: I've been slow in resopnding because I'm on the phone with my sis, but that wil lend at some point.
Ganelon: It's late-ish and people are going to start scrabbling for my attention.
Frezak (GM): Scrabbling!
Bear Soup Guy: Mid-afternoon here, I could conceivably keep up for a few hours, but yeah, people will eventually SCRABBLE for my attention as well
Gaurav: nobody wants me! i am scrabble free.
Frezak (GM): No-one gives a damn about my attention for... uh... Several days.
Ganelon: They won't ask to play Scrabble with me, though I would accept if they did.
Apheori (GM): So what are we doing?
ARE WE CONTINUING AND CAN I TORMENT YOU?
Frezak (GM): I have about an hour.
I'd just like to see what we can get out of Rurik.
Gaurav: Let's keep going?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): Before he is defeated by a snowdrift.
Apheori (GM): Hazz will talk to Rhu on the way.
Gaurav: yay!
Apheori (GM): And I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll be right back.
Frezak (GM): Loooo
Apheori (GM): You may talk amongst yourselves as you walk to the weaponshop.
Yes, loo.


RHU
RHU
...
Is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day?
is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day
Frezak (GM): RHu has a +1 shirt?
Anyone else have +1 gear?


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's pretty much what I expected.
It's pretty much what I expected. This must be what being Greibel is like.
THis must be what being Greibel is like.
Greibel tried walking on his hands
Greibel tries*
Frezak (GM): Turn to monkeys.


RHU
Greibel tries walking on his hands.
It's not a +1 shirt, it's a cloth armour that gives me +1 to ... something
defense or something
Frezak (GM): Armour of Faith?
You get extra AC for... not using armour.
Gaurav: I think I get +1 from the Armour, and then I get some additional bonus from Armour of Faith
sorry, I'm not really interested in my stats. If you're curious I could go check.
Frezak (GM): I just want to know whether you magic shizzle :P


RADEK
RADEK
Line 2,705: Line 1,778:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
Gaurav: Armor of Faith gives me +3. It doesn't look like the cloth armour gives me anything by itself. No magic in sight.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 2,711: Line 1,783:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
If we get into a fight.
If we get into a fight, you're in first.
You're in first.


RADEK
RADEK
Though it didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
It didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
Gaurav: Rhu should get the inviciorb. He can miss all the attacks he likes if nobody can hurt him!
 
Frezak (GM): I'm the one that keeps missing!
On the way, Hazz'ridan talks to Rhu.
(To Rhu): So Hazz tells you that this is new, Kyrule is not what he seems, and neither is Eapherod. This is all very interesting.
 
(To Rhu): Basically it resembles Radek's mutterings in a way and you don't understand most of it.
HAZZ'RIDAN
Ganelon: Everyone wants my awesome artifact!
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
(From Gaurav): *nods and pretends to understand*
''This is new, and an interesting twist. They hid it so well, those two, but ever as they were not as they seemed, this, of all things betrays them. You do not even know what you witnessed, my precious eyes and ears, but it doesn't matter, for witness it you did.
Frezak (GM): Being invincible is nice.
''This is all so very interesting.
 
To Rhu, it almost resembles Radek's mutterings. There's more to it, too, other layers beneath the main body, things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees. It actually seems rather optimistic, though Rhu doesn't understand most of it.
 
Rhu nods and pretends to understand.


RHU
RHU
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
(To Rhu): With things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees.
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees - maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
(To Rhu): It actually seems rather optimistic, though. Somehow.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Line 2,733: Line 1,807:


RHU
RHU
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees -- maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
He seems .. happy. Optimistic. Things are looking up in Hazz'ristan.
He seems... happy. Optimistic.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds bad >.>
That sounds bad. Your god rarely heralds good things for us. What with his domain being... non-progression.
Your god rarely heralds good things for us.
What with his domain being... non-progression.


RHU
RHU
What about the time he saved us at the pool?
What about the time he saved us at the pool? He's mostly been good for us, I think.
He's mostly been good for us, I think.


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
He did?
He did? Eh.
Eh.
Gaurav: But then, I suppose Rhu would.


RHU
RHU
Line 2,755: Line 1,823:


THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right.
Right. I'll... uh... think on that.
I'lll.. uh.. think on that.
 
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.


Line 2,773: Line 1,841:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The weaponmaker guy.
The weaponmaker guy.
Apheori (GM): You get to the shop.
 
 
INT. Rorik and Sons weapon shop - evening
 
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.


RHU
The Gravedigger stands behind the fat guy and leans over him. The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
(to Dave) How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
Frezak (GM): I'll just stand behind the fat guy and lean over him.
Ganelon: Let me go look up what he offered us.
Frezak (GM): And catch Rurik's attention.
And then direct him to the scienceman.


DAWN
When Rorik looks up as well, the Gravedigger then indicates Radek.
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
Ganelon: 500 for the blueprints, he said.
But that might have just been the explosives.
Apheori (GM): The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
Ganelon: Price of the explosives, rather.
Frezak (GM): I'll ignore the fat guy.
Ganelon: ...Yeah. These blueprints are getting us a crate of explosives that could put a hole in the planet, according to miss DM here.
Apheori (GM): He wanted to straight trade blueprints for explosives.
Ganelon: Well, when assembled.


RADEK
RADEK
Good day, Rorik.
Good day, Rorik.
Apheori (GM): Please don't blow up the planet.
 
Ganelon: Don't worry, I still need the planet.
RORIK
I'll use these materials semi-responsibly, I promise.
Ah, hello! Hello! You have what I need? I have what you need.
Frezak (GM): Well, some of it.
Rorik: Ah, hello! Hello!
You have what I need?
I have what you need.
Gaurav: No point wasting planet.


RADEK
RADEK
Right here!
Right here!
Ganelon: I produce blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled!
 
Possibly annotated!
Radek produces blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled.
Apheori (GM): You make the trade - box of parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints.
 
Ganelon: There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Possibly annotated! There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
Gaurav: Signed by the one and only Radek.
 
Apheori (GM): The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
They make the trade - box of explosive parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints. Rorik seems quite pleased.
XD
 
Gaurav: Wasn't there something about chickens in our dream?
RHU
Apheori (GM): Rorik looks them over and nods and lays them out on a workbench.
(to Dawn)
He also asks that you please let him know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness; he's very interested.
How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
Frezak (GM): I'm sure he'll find out!
 
Apheori (GM): Very interested, but not really paying you any mind at all anymore.
DAWN
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
 
The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
 
RORIK
(looking over the blueprints)
Excellent.
 
The fat guy then turns to Dawn and starts arguing at her.
 
He tells her about how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
 
She tells him about how the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
 
He tells her about how preposterous that is, and how she wouldn't dare; he's too important for this.
 
She tells him about how muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
 
He nods and lays them out on a workbench.
 
RORIK
(sitting down)
Do let me know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness. I do say I'm very interested.
 
He says this as he's already scribbling plans off the original blueprints on another sheet, and marking off bits of the blueprints.


RADEK
RADEK
Gladly!
Gladly!
Ganelon: That's okay, I've already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in my hands.
 
Apheori (GM): Men of like minds, eh?
Radek has already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in his hands as he heads out.
Ganelon: And to think!
 
I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): And to think! I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
 
Frezak (GM): Is there a way you can use the artifact to create an external bubble?
RHU
TO contain an explosion?
Dave! We should get a mov-
Ganelon: But if there's any limit to its shielding potential I probably don't want to test that.
 
Frezak (GM): And NOT nuke everything else?
The Gravedigger picks up Dawn and walks out.
Gaurav: How would we test such a bubble?
Frezak (GM): By putting a bomb in it!
Ganelon: (Honestly, Apheori, I just said that to scare you. I don't have plans to abuse this.)
Apheori (GM): That sounds like it was exactly what the research the uunderground folks were doing on it was.
The answer would be yes, but they didn't go into much detail about how
.
Ganelon: (I might make plans to abuse it, but I'm a pretty nice player.)
Apheori (GM): Don't worry. Even if you do abuse it, this setting is abuse.
Ganelon: It's fun!
It's easy to see why you like it.
Frezak (GM): I'm regretting picking a Warden.
Gaurav: it's not like blowing up reality is going to affect reality all that much around these parts
might be it stabler, even
Frezak (GM): We could blow up the Realm of the Dead.
ANd get rid of the cat
Apheori (GM): I'd like to see that.
It would not end well, but it might be amusing.
Gaurav: I would not like to see that, unless I'm safely in another universe far, far away.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
You can leave the shop or you can watch Dave get into an argument with the fat guy.
CHOOSE.
Frezak (GM): Why is Dave talking to the fat guy?
Ganelon: Tough call.
Apheori (GM): He cornered her when Rorik quit paying any attention to him.
Gaurav: Dyuknow what, sticking close to Gravy has been a good move all day today. Where he goes, I go.
Does she still have Devourer with her?
Frezak (GM): I'll just lean over the fat guy, pick up Dave, and walk off.
Apheori (GM): He's telling here how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
She's tell him that the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
...now read that with less typos.
So then he's telling her that that's preposterous and how she wouldn't dare and how he's too important for this.
Ganelon: Two new additions to my journal:
Energy-Shielding Artifact
Crate of Inert Explosives (Planetary Hole Sized)
Apheori (GM): So then she's telling him that muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
Frezak (GM): Picking up Dave and walking out.


RHU
RHU
Dave! We should get a mov-- never mind.
Never mind.
Apheori (GM): Good move.
Frezak (GM): It's the move I tried earlier >.>
Apheori (GM): Agh.
Frezak (GM): To the College!
Apheori (GM): This thing makes it entirely too easy to miss lines.


RADEK
RADEK
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.


RHU
Radek looks positively radiant, and possibly a little creepy as a result.
So where are we heading now?
</screenplay>
</pre>


{{holes nav
{{holes nav

Latest revision as of 03:26, 1 March 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 16 (Overview)
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
The walls groan under structural strain, then return to silence.
The party is loitering around the presentation room. Radek runs down through the list of projects he found that the underground organisation had been working on: an investigation into the rifts, research on a shielding artifact, something about mutant birds, and a project about talking to the dead.
Frezak (Gravy): We need to find out how Greibel got here. By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly. Unless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Apheori (GM): Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Frezak (Gravy): Well, bugger.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Always stoned. He's a floating pot-smoke apparition.
RHU
"Speaking with the dead": well, that thing is from the City of the Dead...
(he points at sphinx)
Pretty easy to speak to the dead if you can teleport there.
The sphinx licks itself emphatically.
RADEK
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.
Radek checks the door for a map, and is disappointed to find that this complex apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
Ganelon (Radek): Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them. Ganelon (Radek): "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"
Ganelon (Radek): I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.
DAWN
(counting the seats in the room)
Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Something's missing.
RADEK
What?
RHU
What?
Rhu looks around. (rolled 18 perception)
The Gravedigger looks about as well. (rolled 23 perception) There seems to be something off with the number of seats and the door, but it's unclear what.
DAWN
I don't know.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's the seats. And the door.
Rhu counts the seats. He comes up with 47.
Radek goes to check out the door. He finds no label for the room, but the place where a label should be. (rolled 25 perception) It's a bit like someone stole the sign.
The walls creak ominously.
RADEK
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave? There should be one here.
DAWN
One? Or two? On the door, and by the door.
Dawn walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.
RHU
By the door?
DAWN
Here.
The Gravedigger smacks the tapped area.
RHU
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
Radek detects magic, as though it had been touched by magic at some point in the past. (rolled 24 arcana)
The Gravedigger punches the magic.
The residual magic disperses.
GREIBEL
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
The porridge hops around the room merrily
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Rhu backs away from the blood-stained Amadi.
RHU
(to Dawn)
why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
DAWN
(as though reading, though there's nothing there)
Max occupancy 47 persons. The space is there where it should be.
There's a squawk from somewhere down the corridor. To Greibel, it sounds like a dying horse. To the Gravedigger, it sounds like an angry duck... and then like a horse dying. (rolled 25 nature)
Greibel perks up.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
A DYING DUCK-HORSE.
The Gravedigger charges down the hall.
Rhu runs out after Gravy, his maul drawn.
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse.
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large. The blood in her hair isn't drying.
Dawn frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy as well, along with Radek.
Meanwhile, in the presentation room, there is a horrible horking noise as the sphinx runs into the porridge.
Rhu comes back to look and watch, before heading after the others after all a moment later.
GREIBEL
Oik!
Greibel goes over to try to separate them, but somehow they've become tangled. Amadi skips down to help.
GREIBEL
Mmm.
Greibel and Amadi have a go at untangling them. (rolled 2 dexterity, 20 to assist) Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
The horrible noises cease and the sphinx flees out into the corridor as well.
Amadi giggles.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well.
GREIBEL
(to Amadi)
Well, not to point out the obvious but... how'd you get all bloodied up?
AMADI
How did I what?
The porridge gloops.
GREIBEL
Mmm. Right.
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad. Then she shrugs and pets the porridge.
The porridge rumbles.


INT. Random office - underground complex
The Gravedigger stops at the door of the room the noise apparently came from and looks inside. There's a desk, some chairs, and a deformed skeleton inside.
Everything is quiet now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HELLO?
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
The sphinx catches up and runs inside.
The Gravedigger spots a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It's not moving. He goes to check on it, and then finds the sphinx on top of it as he rounds the desk.
Radek and Dawn enter and just watch.
Checking for vital signs, the Gravedigger winds up with sphinx vital signs.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
The Gravedigger reaches out to move the sphinx and it jumps off. Checking again, he finds the duckmoose has too many legs and is not entirely alive.
Rhu catches up and comes in as well.
RHU
...yeah... okay... I don't know what I was expecting. But that's not far off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can we leave yet?
RADEK
Time to leave, yes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Please.
DAWN
Okay.
RHU
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
So... head of a duck, body of a moose? That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
The Gravedigger turns back to give the thing another look, just to be humour him instead. (rolled 26 nature)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The duck-moose hybrid... Is not natural.
RADEK
It might have been a test subject.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe. I hope I don't turn into a duck.
RHU
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah.
DAWN
Would you turn into a duck? Does that even happen?
RADEK
I wouldn't discount anything.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I dunno. But this moose got ducked. I don't want to be ducked.
Ganelon (Radek): We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.


INT. Presentation room - underground complex
AMADI
What time is it?
GREIBEL
Uhrm.
AMADI
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
GREIBEL
Your hair is... very unique. It's nice.
AMADI
Thanks!
GREIBEL
I don't have a mirror but uh... I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.
GREIBEL
The sign on... was that there before?
Greibel walks over to read the sign. (rolled 8 reality) It looks like a map, but it shimmers too much to make out details.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.
AMADI
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
Greibel tries to take the map off the door, but his fingers pass right through it.
GREIBEL
Oh, bugger all.
(To Amadi)
What does this say?
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it.
AMADI
Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently.
Amadi taps a spot on the thingy.
GREIBEL
So where are we on this guide?
Rhu comes back inside and then tries to figure out what they're looking at. The Gravedigger pushes his way in as well, Radek and Dawn following.
Amadi re-closes the door and points again.
RHU
(to Greibel)
It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?
DAWN
How do you know it isn't a proper creature?
GREIBEL
Hold on, we found a map, check it out.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well there goes my plan.
The others see no map. Not even a sign.
RHU
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
GREIBEL
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
RADEK
...Wrong, but continue.
The sphinx nuzzles Radek's hand.
SPHINX
Hungry.
RHU
(to Dawn)
Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is? It doesn't make sense.
DAWN
Why not? What if the head and body belong to it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It doesn't. Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease. Its a moose with a duck's head. Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
DAWN
The disease did it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head. Yes.
RHU
The disease might have done it. That's true.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go get out of here. Tis place is falling apart.
RADEK
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
SPHINX
Hungry.
RHU
Agreed. Let's go!
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
RADEK
I have no time to tell stories!
The Gravedigger rolls the Mouseforged back onto Dawn's floating disk, and picks up Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
ONWARDS.
Dawn picks up the sphinx.
AMADI
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
Amadi points to something on the sign.
RHU
Does what look like a rabbit? ...the wall?
GREIBEL
Hmmmm. Could be. How strange.
RHU
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat.
AMADI
Mmm, I don't think we should follow the sphinx...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right hand rule! Less talky, more walky rightwards! Come on, people! Out the deathtrap!
Amadi and Greibel are still looking at the sign by the door, so the Gravedigger puts down Radek and picks them up instead.
GREIBEL
Oof.
AMADI
Wheeee.
The Gravedigger heads out. Radek and Rhu follow.
GREIBEL
(to Amadi)
So I guess we're not following the map.


INT. Corridors - underground complex.
The Gravedigger follows the right-hand rule, looking for an exit.
Dawn wanders off in another direction entirely.
The Gravedigger ignores her.
RHU
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
AMADI
She's full of holes! Maybe we'll fall down and find the white rabbit!
GREIBEL
Rabbits are nice!
RHU
Rabbits eat everything. They're pests.
GREIBEL
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
After a moment, Dawn turns back and re-follows the others.
They get lost, but keep going.


INT. Room - underground complex
Later they come across a room with a large spherical object on a table, about the size of a basketball, with a bunch of wires and tubes attached to it. The far wall is covered in mirrors.
The Gravedigger is still carrying Amadi and Greibel, one slung under each arm.
Amadi's hair has finally dried, resulting in a hairy mass of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
GREIBEL
(To Amadi)
Your hair is really quite lovely today.
AMADI
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
RHU
I think we should head back to the holoroom.
AMADI
Go back? What for? Did someone forget their hairdye?
GREIBEL
Not gonna say I told you so but... I told you so.
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier.
Radek goes to examine the object. (rolled 17 arcana) It seems to be the shielding artifact described in the presentations.
DAWN
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in. I... think?
Dawn winces for some reason.
AMADI
I was inside. I'm outside now.
RHU
(to Amadi)
Are you bleeding?
Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
AMADI
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's blood.
Radek groans and goes back to the others to take a look. He examines Amadi's head (rolled 23 heal) and finds no wounds. In fact she seems to be perfectly fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Like she tried washing it with blood.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, she's not complaining.
RADEK
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy. And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
RHU
(to Amadi)
Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
AMADI
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
RHU
It's not oozing, it's just... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.
Dawn walks over to a mirror and touches it.
AMADI
... Yeah, you're crazy.
Dawn looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
Radek goes back to the artifact on the table and checks it out more thoroughly.
RADEK
(to Gravy)
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
The Gravedigger carefully puts down Amadi and Greibel and prepares to desecure the object.
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors. (rolled 32 perception (natural 20)) They look normal. One has some smudges on it.
Rhu wipes at the smudges.
Greibel oinks at the Gravedigger.
The Gravedigger slices at the tubes with a razor-edged shovel, and they deflate sadly with a sad hiss. It's very sad.
The Gravedigger heaves the object out of its setting. (rolled 25 strength (natural 20)) It comes out neatly and he's left standing there holding a weird shiny orb. And then, to him, everything goes funky. (rolled 1 reality) All sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
The Gravedigger hurriedly starts to put the orb back, but then Radek gestures for him to hand it over instead, and he does so.
Everything goes back to normal.
Radek, now holding the orb instead, gets his own dose of the feeling. (rolled 31 arcana (natural 20))
Apheori (GM): It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Frezak (Gravy): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Radek cackles.
RADEK
Yes! This is it!
The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
RADEK
Hit me with the shovel!
Rhu turns away from the mirror in time to see the Gravedigger swing his shovel right at Radek.
RHU
...Gravy? What are you doing?
DAWN
Science.
The Gravedigger misses.
Radek gives him a disappointed look.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, got overexcited there.
RADEK
I said hit me.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let me try again.
The Gravedigger tries again, misses again, tries a third time, and finally hits Radek full force with his shovel.
Radek falls over.
RHU
Woah! Gravy!
Radek jumps up immediately after.
RADEK
Hahahaha!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
AWESOME.
Rhu just stares.
DAWN
Is this science?
RADEK
Yes! This is science!
RHU
I vote... madness?
RADEK
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Amadi disappears.
Greibel looks around, confused.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Cheater!
SPHINX
Death. Good.
DAWN
(reaching down to stroke the sphinx)
Shush, sweetling.
(to the others)
This way! There are stairs.
Dawn points at a wall.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's a wall.
GREIBEL
Hmmmm. I've seen this. STAND BACK.
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dawn pointed at.
DAWN
Well, that...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
Greibel runs right through the wall. (rolled 2 reality)
DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.
RHU
Wha... ?!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's pretty good.
RHU
...yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.
DAWN
Are we?
Dawn walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Dust. It's like that metal thing earlier. Only you crazy guys can go through it. Unless Radek wants to chat it up.
Radek glances at the ceiling.
RADEK
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Use mints!
RHU
(at the wall)
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?


INT. Walls - underground complex
While all of that is going on, Greibel walks through several more walls and then finds the stairs, right in the direction Dawn had indicated.


INT. Room - underground complex
RADEK
Bah. Fine! You there! Wall! Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
The wall says nothing.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
RADEK
Her silence did not avail her! Here I stand as proof that walls have not bested me before, and they will not best me now!
DAWN
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
"Supposed' is worth little, it seems.
RADEK
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!
Radek tries walking through the wall. To him, it seems solid.
DAWN
Or you could just use the...
Dawn points toward the door.
Rhu looks.
Dawn tugs Rhu's sleeve and then leads him toward the door, back out into the maze of corridors. He follows without objection.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, I have an idea. You hold onto the orb. And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.
RADEK
That isn't likely to help you pass through it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It is if I break the wall.
Radek shrugs.
RADEK
Very well.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek, holds him tight, and leaps into the wall, smashing the little old mad scientist into it head-first. The orb lets out a glowing pulse. (rolled 17 attack) For a moment, everything feels as mad as it had when he had been holding the orb himself, but then it goes back to normal - right as they both pass right through the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness. (both rolled 1 reality)
Ganelon (Radek): And to think. We're supposed to be the sane people.


INT. Stairwell - underground complex
Dawn and Rhu find Greibel smoking by the entrance to the stairs.
RHU
Hey!
Greibel looks up.
GREIBEL
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
RHU
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
DAWN
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce. Probably.
GREIBEL
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here.


INT. Not quite midnight
Everything is dark. There little to no sensation, and even less to see. As Radek and the Gravedigger drift through the dark, they find the can still move, here, even without substance, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of cheese...
And power, too. They feel it, in the distance below them...
RADEK
It's astounding that the others still doubt us.
The Gravedigger is still using Radek as a shield, and he directs them toward that power, moving them closer, closer, closer.
They descend into the darkness, losing all sense of direction, including where they were supposed to be going in the first place. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will yet come to pass.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is it. What I have been seeking. All this time!
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL.
They're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further they go, the more aware they become of the existence beyond what they've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The stories. All true...
THEY SAID I WAS MAD. I'll SHOW THEM.
I WILL HAVE YOU. AND SHOW THE WORLD. I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF.
RADEK
Hey. Gravy. This isn't a shovel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT. I WILL- what?
RADEK
This isn't a shovel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh. Damn.
RADEK
Something wrong about it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Never mind, then.
RADEK
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.


INT. Stairwell - underground complex
RHU
Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
DAWN
Yeah, maybe. How long does it take to bash in a wall?
GREIBEL
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
RHU
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
Greibel takes another bong hit.
Rhu starts to head back toward the room.
DAWN
(to Greibel)
Guard the way?
RHU
Guard what way?
GREIBEL
Yes, which way?
DAWN
Stand... I mean? Guard.
GREIBEL
(he salutes)
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
Rhu and Dawn head back.


INT. Not quite midnight
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh. We going back to the guys, then?
RADEK
I... suppose.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff? I'm sure something cool will happen.
RADEK
What? No!
Even so, he probably couldn't drop it if he wanted to - the orb is basically gone, as are their hands and everything about them. At this point, they have become little more than consciousness surrounded by warm glowing power.
And it's getting stronger.
RADEK
We should get out of here.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
All right.
RADEK
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
Slowly they will themselves to move, away from the light, into the cold, empty darkness. (rolled 19 collective wisdom)
It's horrible.
It's the worst thing either have them have ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
And then they realise they have no idea where they're going.
Frezak (Gravy): None of that sounds unusual.
Then, finally, after what feels like an eternity, it ends, and the pop out into searing light and colour, exploding through every aspect of their beings.


INT. Room - underground complex
Rhu and Dawn get back to find the room they had left empty, basically the way they had left it, no sign of the Gravedigger or Radek. The wall isn't even bashed.
RHU
Huh.
Rhu looks down the corridors to see if he can tell where they might have gone, but there's no sign.
The Gravedigger and Radek suddenly pop out of the wall and collapse on the floor in a heap at Dawn's feet.
Dawn takes a step back in surprise.
Radek groans quietly.
DAWN
Oh... what?
(yelling back toward the door)
RHU! Found them!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey. Is it lunchtime?
RHU
Ah, you got through the wall after all, then?
DAWN
Floor, apparently.
RHU
Oh. Kay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There wasn't a shovel.
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.
RHU
It's lunchtime somewhere.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sounds good to me.
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere...
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.
RHU
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
Radek mumbles to himself.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We ended up here.
SPHINX
(on Dawn's shoulders)
Hungry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(looking at a sandwich he pulled out)
Pickle and cheese? Who packed this? I never make pickle and cheese. Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(he pulls out another bag)
Wait, no, here they are.
RADEK
One part silver, three parts nitrogen... is it any wonder? They always ask when the answer's right in front of their noses...
RHU
(to the sphinx)
Do you want more stories?
SPHINX
(staring at Gravy)
Stories.
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind. The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have sandwiches. So tough. Well, I might have some soup. Chicken and noodle.
RADEK
I'm... starting to hate walls.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want a sandwich?
RADEK
I want to be outside.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(he shrugs)
All I got is sandwiches.
The walls groan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, ready. Where now?
RHU
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
Dawn leads everyone back to the stairs, and Greibel.
They go up.
And up.
And up.


INT. CRYPT
After an annoyingly long climb, a few transfers to slightly different staircases, and a fair bit of grumbling, the party, complete with midget, Mouseforged, porridge, and sphinx, come to a final door and spill out into a crypt.
It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap. Nothing looks to have disturbed it recently, but it's clean.
Behind them, the door closes and becomes almost indistinguishable from the rest of the wall, though they could probably still use it since they now know it's there.
By this point, Dawn is riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
The Gravedigger shines his horn-torches around.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
Rhu shrugs.
RADEK
I'll go first.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek? Are you protected against magic?
RADEK
Quite possibly.
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy. Cold may be a concern.
The Gravedigger activates gravyvision and detects a very small amount of external light coming from the right. (rolled 31 perception) There are also some shiny things glinting amongst the bones - coins apparently dropped in with them.
The Gravedigger turns and marches off in the direction of the light.
The others follow.
The light turns out to be a small crack under the bottom of a door.
The door itself is locked.
RHU
(whispers)
...should we knock?
They might be a little creeped out that people want to leave the crypt.
The Gravedigger listens intently for anything on the other side. (rolled 35 perception) He hears voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.
DAWN
Would you knock if you were dead?
RADEK
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
DAWN
Am I? Oh. Cool!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Guys on the other side.
RHU
(to Dawn)
Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Chances are that if we knock, they'll run on account of undead hordes.
RHU
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
...do we want to tell them about... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, no reason to tell them. If we have to say, we were Hole'd.
Rhu nods.
RHU
Let's go say hi.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can anyone imitate a ghost? Or zombie or whatever?
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.
RHU
Imitate a ghost?
We could set the porridge on them. Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?
DAWN
I'm a zombie.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?
DAWN
(sounding a bit like a pig)
Grooonk. Er.
Dawn looks embarassed.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH. NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH.
DAWN
Hurrung?
DAWN
Noom.
Dawn waggles her fingers.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, someone do something.
GREIBEL
You guys are all wrong. A proper ghost noise is WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, Greibel.
DAWN
Wiggly woo!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
RADEK
...Greibel, just turn into a horde of spiders and chase them out, please.
GREIBEL
Oh hey, there's an idea. SPIDER ATTACK.
Dawn unlocks and opens the door a crack and peers behind it.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and scuttles through.
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Dawn runs out after them.
RHU
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.


INT. Temple - day
The spiders, followed by Dawn, come out into a temple, tall, stone, and full of windows letting in various motes of sunlight, though the decorations are austere. Four people, all human, are standing around chatting - two priests, Doros and Nereem, and two townsfolk.
At the sight of the spiders, one of the townspersons shrieks and flees out the main door, slamming it in his wake.
Doros falcepalms.
Nereem and the other townsperson just stare.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(from behind the door)
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
Rhu pokes his way in after the spiders and the midget, and the Gravedigger comes out as well, opening the door the rest of the way. As soon as he's through, the Mouseforged disk floats out as well, trailing to catch up with Dawn.
RHU
Hey! Is this your crypt?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You can have it back.
The Gravedigger waves.
Frezak (Gravy): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
Nereem looks toward Rhu and the Gravedigger and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit. Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
Radek follows, coming out a bit behind the others.
NEREEM
Just what do you think you're doing?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Walking out your crypt.
RADEK
Leaving, I would imagine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Egressing.
NEREEM
You're graverobbers, are you? You expect us to just let you walk out?
DAWN
Spiders!
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height and stomps up to be toe-to-toe with Nereem.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.
Dawn picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in Nereem's face.
DAWN
Spiiiideers!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER. I BURY PEOPLE. I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD.
Nereem falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Dawn's handful of Greibel.
Frezak (Gravy): "For a handfull of Greibel"
Ganelon (Radek): "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
Frezak (Gravy): "I signed up for shrine maidens! No-one told me about screaming horned giants!"
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
The other townsperson, who up to this point had just been hanging around watching, finally decides to leave as well, this apparently being just a bit too much for him.
Rhu follows and checks out the door before coming back to the others.
The other priest, Doros, approaches the Gravedigger trying to look non-threatening.
DOROS
Okay, what were you doing in there?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
The Gravedigger continues to eye Nereem.
Nereem tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel. He then curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff.
DOROS
A hole?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hole. Capital H. A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else? Like a door without a frame. Magic stuff.
Doros looks the Gravedigger up and down.
DOROS
Not one you dug yourself, then. It came out in the crypt?
RHU
Like the big giant tree a day south of here. Holes in the universe. Like the anvils.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yep.
RHU
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There's gold lying about in there. You should take better care of it.
RADEK
Damned inconvenient things. And dangerous, too.
RHU
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve. Also guys?
(he grins)
I think we're back in Coffle.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, that's great, Rhu. We don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
RHU
The Car! We can get out of here!
DOROS
Hazz'ridan, you say?
Nereem continues to rock back and forth on the floor, whimpering.
DOROS
So it's true, then. It's starting up again.
RHU
Yes, Hazz'ridan.
(he shows the priest the Hazz'ridan implement around his neck)
...what's starting up again?
DOROS
That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known. Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?
RHU
What is an Arah?
DOROS
Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Now answer the question.
RHU
King of the sandcastle?
DOROS
Who reigns?
RHU
King of the sandcastle.
Rhu stares blankly, then suddenly, excitedly, starts fishing out his notes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel. Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.
RHU
(reading)
"It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!"
Well, I had.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, you too?
DAWN
Akrikdirin Vak?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Why does no-one tell ME about sandcastles!
DAWN
But this is Arling Tor.
Wait, did you say Lokshmi? The... the... the...
Dawn gestures ineffectively, then shouts:
DAWN
SPIDERS!
RHU
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
DOROS
You are a very long way from home indeed.
SPHINX
HUNGRY!
RHU
Yes, I suppose giant fish would make you hungry.
The sphinx jumps onto Dawn's head and looms in Rhu's direction.
Rhu backs away from Dawn and the sphinx. Doros steps away from them as well.
Dawn shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.
RHU
So. Who are you guys? And what's starting again?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bad stuff.
RHU
Yes, but... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff? Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
DOROS
I am Doros, and that...
(he points to the spider-covered quivering ball)
Is Nereem. We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hrmph.
RHU
Ah. Hazz'ridan the Ending asked me to beat him over the head at some point, but I think he was joking.
DOROS
(skeptically)
Beat Kyrule over the head.
RHU
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser man than me.
Doros rolls his eyes.
DOROS
Why am I not surprised?
The sphinx walks over to Nereem and eats a spider.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
BAD SPHINX. SPIT. NO EATING THE DRUID
The sphinx grins at the Gravedigger.
The Gravedigger charges the sphinx.
Rhu readies his maul.
Ganelon (Radek): I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
The Gravedigger takes a mighty swing, but winds up tripping over the sphinx instead of attacking it. (rolled 11 attack (natural 1))
The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily. He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
Frezak (Gravy): GRAAAGH. I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT.
Frezak (Gravy): You know, Radek? I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Ganelon (Radek): I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
Frezak (Gravy): I DONT CARE. I HATE IT.
The Gravedigger picks himself up slowly, and then very deliberately turns back to Doros.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you guys exorcise a cat? As in, banish the cat?
RHU
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.
DOROS
I do not know.
(addressing the sphinx)
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?
RADEK
Tormenting us.
SPHINX
Hungry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Holy water? Orbital cannon? Vorpal blade?
RADEK
If only.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Neutron bomb?
RADEK
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.
DAWN
It is behaving. Always.
Dawn walks over to a window and stares out in amazement.
DAWN
Is that... the sky?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek. We have to go back. And get the One True Shovel.
RADEK
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
RADEK
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel? Perhaps. But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What do you need to do this? How can I help?
DOROS
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What if we just cut off its legs? Put it in a hole?
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem.
NEREEM
Oh the humanity.
Nereem collapses under the suddenly consolidated weight.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
GREIBEL
HONK!
No wait, that's not right. A-okay, Cap'n!
RHU
Ah. Well. That settles the killing-the-sphinx question, I guess.
DOROS
(to the sphinx)
Stories, is it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
How do we make it leave?
DOROS
How did you make it come?
SPHINX
Stories.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps being a pain.
RHU
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody. Speaking of which...
Rhu draws the sphinx away from the others with another story, this one a long tale about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by. He keeps his distance from the sphinx as best he can in the doing.
Doros pulls Greibel up off of Nereem.
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized.
Doros ignores him and just picks up Nereem and sets him on his feet as well, and then sends him into the back to sort himself out.
Nereem shuffles off uncertainly, glancing back at Greibel in fear.
DOROS
How did you summon the sphinx?
RHU
He followed me. I... ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples. And when I came back, he showed up as well. And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm. That's all I know.
DOROS
What did you offer it?
Rhu thinks.
RHU
Er. I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Ganelon (Radek): It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!
DOROS
You may have a problem.
RHU
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through... Arah, was it? ...all the way back here!
DOROS
Who would? Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't. But nor do people talk to them. Add one, and it seems you may get the other.
RHU
...you're saying we can bore it into leaving?
DOROS
It's possible. But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
Ganelon (Radek): "Everyone, quickly! Do nothing of interest!"
Frezak (Gravy): HIDE IN A HOLE.
RHU
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
Doros snorts.
RHU
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
DOROS
Which holes?
RADEK
The ones threatening to destroy this plane.
DOROS
It isn't just this plane.
RADEK
Indeed, though the one we're currently occupying still happens to be a more immediate concern.
RHU
Other planes are on their own at this point.
DOROS
When one falls, it takes those closest with it.
RHU
So... that would be a no?
DOROS
Ask your lord, who so despises holes.
RHU
He doesn't know. We're trying to work it out with his help.
DOROS
(motioning toward Dawn, who is still staring at the clouds in awe)
Then ask her.
RHU
Ask her what?
DOROS
What happened on Sarathi.
All at once, the space seems to change. It is as though everything is thinner, darker, unreal - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, still seeing, within the bubble of the temple.
Dawn looks back as well, seeing the change, through her very presense reminding the others that it happened, though the notion of when is already gone.
Frezak (Gravy): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
Ganelon (Radek): I don't go to church, so who knows?
While all of this is going on, the Gravedigger cleans his shovel.
RHU
...did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
DOROS
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
DAWN
Twins?
The sphinx growls lowly.
RHU
She? You mean Dave? And... Sarathi De? Wha?
DOROS
It was a game she played growing up.
(to Dawn)
Do you remember?
RHU
Huh.
DAWN
I don't remember anything.
RADEK
(to Doros)
...Who are you, really?
DOROS
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may converse now. But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
RADEK
(grumbling to himself)
...Gods.
DAWN
(cheerfully)
Foot fungus.
Rhu just stands there looking confused.
The Gravedigger continues to clean his shovel.
Greibel smiles helpfully.
Frezak (Gravy): Apparently Dave is a god.
RADEK
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't. We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?
DOROS
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Gaurav (Rhu): To translate the madness?
Ganelon (Radek): More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(putting his shovel away)
If you're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything. I'm going to go look for a pub.
The Gravedigger trudges out.
DOROS
Amadi won't translate. She should, but she won't.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have. They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.
RHU
Broken, yes, that makes sense.
RADEK
I fix machines, not minds.
DOROS
They have the power to mend the universe. It is who they were. Who they will be.
RHU
Oh hello. Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
So. We're collecting weirdos. We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.
DAWN
It won't work. It can't work. It's gone.
RHU
What's gone?
Dawn suddenly walks up to Doros and eyes him curiously.
DAWN
Why are you in a man?
Doros stares at her for a long moment, not responding. Then his expression turns to concern, and he reaches out to touch Dawn's face, but then stops.
DOROS
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
Frezak (Gravy): You dirty, dirty boy.
Gaurav (Rhu): ...Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend...
Suddenly everything goes back to normal. The sun shines in once more like anything. Reality takes on a solid sheen. Time... is time once more.
Doros seems to sag.
RHU
Woah! What was that?
DOROS
I'm sorry. I need to rest.
RHU
Are you okay?
DOROS
(he nods)
Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again.
Excuse me.
Doros heads toward one of the back rooms as well.
RHU
Huh. I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect.
Dawn stares after him forlornly.
DAWN
(absently)
She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
RADEK
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot.
RADEK
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
The party heads out.
Apheori (GM): Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
Ganelon (Radek): Good question. I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
Frezak (Gravy): ...A warmouse body, right?
Ganelon (Radek): Yeah, basically.
Frezak (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Frezak (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Ganelon (Radek): For now I'll just drag it around, though. It is walking, right? Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
Apheori (GM): It's on a disk. It doesn't seem to be awake.
Ganelon (Radek): Hm. That's abnormal.
Frezak (Gravy): MR MOUSIE. Radekradekradek SAVE HIM.
Ganelon (Radek): But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that. They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body. Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.


EXT. Coffle temple district - day
It's a street, there are temples around, and, for whatever reason, entirely too many guards are also milling about.
The Gravedigger reaches out and acquires a guard.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Where is the college?
The guard hits the Gravedigger with his weapon. It doesn't actually do any damage.
GUARD
Er, sorry. Reflex. It's over down there...
The guard gives directions to the exact opposite side of town.
Radek also asks about Rorik's weaponshop. Due to initially calling him Rurik there is a bit of confusion, but then they get directions to that as well. It turns out to be on the way to the college.
They start walking in the indicated direction.
RHU
Is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's pretty much what I expected. This must be what being Greibel is like.
Greibel tries walking on his hands.
RADEK
Well, at least it felt productive.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
RADEK
Study it, of course. Replicate it, if I can manage.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
If we get into a fight, you're in first.
RADEK
It didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
On the way, Hazz'ridan talks to Rhu.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
This is new, and an interesting twist. They hid it so well, those two, but ever as they were not as they seemed, this, of all things betrays them. You do not even know what you witnessed, my precious eyes and ears, but it doesn't matter, for witness it you did.
This is all so very interesting.
To Rhu, it almost resembles Radek's mutterings. There's more to it, too, other layers beneath the main body, things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees. It actually seems rather optimistic, though Rhu doesn't understand most of it.
Rhu nods and pretends to understand.
RHU
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees - maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Write down the good bits from the voices in your head.
RHU
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
He seems... happy. Optimistic.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds bad. Your god rarely heralds good things for us. What with his domain being... non-progression.
RHU
What about the time he saved us at the pool? He's mostly been good for us, I think.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
He did? Eh.
RHU
He cured our madness before we all went into the pool after Azariphale.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right. I'll... uh... think on that.
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's... uh... get some money?
RADEK
Yes, let's.
RHU
Where are we heading?
DAWN
To our respective dooms.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The weaponmaker guy.


INT. Rorik and Sons weapon shop - evening
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.
The Gravedigger stands behind the fat guy and leans over him. The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
When Rorik looks up as well, the Gravedigger then indicates Radek.
RADEK
Good day, Rorik.
RORIK
Ah, hello! Hello! You have what I need? I have what you need.
RADEK
Right here!
Radek produces blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled.
Ganelon (Radek): Possibly annotated! There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
They make the trade - box of explosive parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints. Rorik seems quite pleased.
RHU
(to Dawn)
How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
DAWN
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
RORIK
(looking over the blueprints)
Excellent.
The fat guy then turns to Dawn and starts arguing at her.
He tells her about how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
She tells him about how the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
He tells her about how preposterous that is, and how she wouldn't dare; he's too important for this.
She tells him about how muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
He nods and lays them out on a workbench.
RORIK
(sitting down)
Do let me know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness. I do say I'm very interested.
He says this as he's already scribbling plans off the original blueprints on another sheet, and marking off bits of the blueprints.
RADEK
Gladly!
Radek has already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in his hands as he heads out.
Ganelon (Radek): And to think! I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
RHU
Dave! We should get a mov-
The Gravedigger picks up Dawn and walks out.
RHU
Never mind.
RADEK
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.
Radek looks positively radiant, and possibly a little creepy as a result.


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Session 16 (Overview)
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Working for them is hell and the pay sucks.