Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 16"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<pre>
{{holes nav
Apheori (GM): Does anyone remember the current situation?
|css=top
Bear Soup Guy: We're uh
|previous=Holes/Session 15
Frezak (GM): THe place started falling apart then stopped.
|next=Holes/Session 17
We were looting.
}}
Ganelon: We read through some logs.
 
The teleporter was broken.
<screenplay>
Apheori (GM): Right. You were in that presentation room, the walls were sometimes groaning...
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
Gaurav: Yay groaning walls
 
we haven't had that in a while
The walls groan under structural strain, then return to silence.
Apheori (GM): Well, this is structural groaning, not possessed groaning.
 
Gaurav: oh
The party is loitering around the presentation room. Radek runs down through the list of projects he found that the underground organisation had been working on: an investigation into the rifts, research on a shielding artifact, something about mutant birds, and a project about talking to the dead.
non-sarcastic "yay!" then
 
Frezak (GM): We need to find out how Greibel got here.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): We need to find out how Greibel got here. By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly. Unless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel got in down the corridor that collapsed.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Frezak (GM): UNless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
 
Apheori (GM): Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Well, bugger.
Frezak (GM): Well, bugger.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Always stoned
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Always stoned. He's a floating pot-smoke apparition.
Frezak (GM): Wander around aimlessly...
 
Bear Soup Guy: He's a floating pot-smoke apparition
RHU
Frezak (GM): OR.
"Speaking with the dead": well, that thing is from the City of the Dead...
I COULD DIG US OUT.
(he points at sphinx)
Gaurav: Can you smoke ghost-Griebel?
like, if you were to inhale him
Apheori (GM): You could track your way out.
Frezak (GM): Ghost Greibel inhales YOU.
Track?
Apheori (GM): Or you could get Radek to look for a map of the place.
Folks used this place, went in and out. Track it!
Frezak (GM): Ehhhh
Ganelon: Have Greibel turn into a swarm of moles!
Frezak (GM): There you go.
Bear Soup Guy: :O
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Brains.
Do that.
Gaurav: ++swarm of moles idea
Apheori (GM): You could follow the tuna trails that criss-crossed the real trail you followed to find the crazies.
Gaurav: why would the transporter stop working? we didn't fiddle with any electronics while we were here, right?
Apheori (GM): Why, indeed...
Gaurav: ... or the tune trail. that works too.
Ganelon: It wasn't getting power.
Well, that doesn't explain why it dumped silvery stuff on us.
But now it's not getting power.
Most likely suspect is, of course, the cave-in.
Gaurav: oh right, that would explain it
the tanks are also empty
the presentation room has power
Ganelon: Good point.
Rhu: "speaking with the dead": well, that thing is from the City of the Dead ... *points at sphinx*
Pretty easy to speak to the dead if you can teleport there.
Pretty easy to speak to the dead if you can teleport there.
The sphinx licks itself emphatically.
The sphinx licks itself emphatically.
Radek: Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel could turn into a swarm of slime and map the complex like a slime mold.
RADEK
Ganelon: I'll oblige you and go look for a map.
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.
But I would prefer if Greibel turned into a swarm of soft memory foam.
 
Gaurav: Sorry if this was covered earlier: is the presentation room the only place you can get to through the north corridor, or are there other places to explore there?
Radek checks the door for a map, and is disappointed to find that this complex apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
Apheori (GM): You check by the door and are disappointed to find that this building apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
 
There are other places. Gravy just tracked the two loon here.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them.
loons
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Ganelon: Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them.
 
Gaurav: Ha! I hope we find a complaint register at some point. This place seems crazy enough that it might have one.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"
Ganelon: "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
 
Bear Soup Guy: "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.
Dave: (counting the seats in the room) Two... fourteen... twenty three...
 
Ganelon: I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.
DAWN
Dave: Something's missing.
(counting the seats in the room)
Gaurav: Possibly silly question, but we've already echecked that our communication gear doesn't work down here, right?
Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Radek: What?
Something's missing.
Rhu: (to Dave) What?
 
rolling 1d20+12 perception check on the room to see if I can see what's caught Dave's attention
RADEK
(
What?
6
 
)
RHU
+12
What?
=
 
18
Rhu looks around. ''(rolled 18 perception)''
Frezak (GM): BAH.
 
Gravy will activate his Gravysenses.
The Gravedigger looks about as well. ''(rolled 23 perception)'' There seems to be something off with the number of seats and the door, but it's unclear what.
rolling 1D20+20
 
(
DAWN
3
I don't know.
)
 
+20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
It's the seats. And the door.
23
 
See?
Rhu counts the seats. He comes up with 47.
Even on a 3 i'm awesome.
 
Now I need to sit down for 5 minutes >.>
Radek goes to check out the door. He finds no label for the room, but the place where a label should be. ''(rolled 25 perception)'' It's a bit like someone stole the sign.
Rhu: Thank you.
 
Ganelon: Keep showing off like that and I'll have to one-up you in a different campaign altogether.
The walls creak ominously.
Dave: I don't know.
 
Ganelon: By making Freya's L6 feat Skill Focus: Diplomacy.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Frezak: It has something to do with the number of seats and the... door?
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave? There should be one here.
Frezak (GM): Uh.
 
I will relay that dubious information >.>
DAWN
Gaurav: How many seats are there? 23?
One? Or two? On the door, and by the door.
Frezak (GM): Is there a missing seat spot?
 
Gaurav: There were 18 beds in the quarters earlier, but we've definitely seen more than 18 skeletons, so there must be more living quarters around somewhere.
Dawn walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.
Apheori (GM): 47 seats.
 
Ganelon: I don't get why this is important, but...
RHU
I suppose I'll check out the door.
By the door?
Gaurav: There were 47 gold pieces in the living quarters, although that couldn't posibly be relevent.
 
Apheori (GM): The walls creak ominously as you do. Perception, please.
DAWN
Rhu:
Here.
rolling 1d20+12 perception check
 
(
The Gravedigger smacks the tapped area.
14
 
)
RHU
+12
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
=
 
26
Radek detects magic, as though it had been touched by magic at some point in the past. ''(rolled 24 arcana)''
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20+10
The Gravedigger punches the magic.  
(
 
7
The residual magic disperses.
)
 
+10
GREIBEL
=
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
17
 
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+8
(
17
)
+8
=
25
Apheori (GM): I meant Radek.
Ganelon: I think it's 8, at least.
I'll confirm in just a sec.
Gaurav: all perception all the time
Ganelon: Yep, 8.
Apheori (GM): GAN: YOU NOTICE...
...that none of the rooms are labelled and in a place like this, they should be labelled. It's like someone stole all the signs.
Frezak (GM): SCRUB
SCRUB ALL THE WALLS
Radek: Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave?
There should be one here.
Dave: One? Or two?
Ellemerr: I should be ready very soon. Am I present?
Dave: On the door, and by the door.
Apheori (GM): You are not, so show up when you feel like.
Rhu: By the door?
Apheori (GM): Elll: There is a sphinx draped over some seats licking itself, if that helps.
Ellemerr: Perhaps.
(From Ellemerr): If you've anything specific you want me to confuse those poor buggers about, as always, you've but to tell me.
Apheori (GM): Dave walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.
Dave: Here.
(To Ellemerr): Igot nothing.
Frezak (GM): DETECT ILLLLUUUSION
Ganelon: ...Sure, why not.
Frezak (GM): I smack the tapped area.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
(
13
)
+11
=
24
There any magic up there, boss?
(To Ellemerr): I think some crazy person just stole all the signs.
Rhu: We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
Apheori (GM): Magic!
Greibel: They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
Apheori (GM): Something magical touched it.
Frezak (GM): I PUNCH THE MAGIC
Apheori (GM): The magic disperses.
Ganelon: Way to go, you scared the magic away.
Now we can't disenchant it for MORE DUST
Gaurav: That magic has returned to the land of its forefathers.
Frezak (GM): My shovel is magic?
and brb
Apheori (GM): Isn't it a +1 shovel?
Frezak (GM): No.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Greibel: +1 Shovel Of Burrying
Frezak (GM): None of us have any magic stuff.
Bear Soup Guy: err
Ganelon: I have the ability to make one thing +1.
Bear Soup Guy: OOC
Ganelon: With my current resources.
Apheori (GM): I thought it was almost all +1 since you're from future land.
The porridge hops around the room merrily
The porridge hops around the room merrily
Apheori (GM): Or maybe that was just the cloth stuff.
 
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
Gaurav: My cloth armour is +1, but it's not magical. Just cloth.
 
Was there anything hiding under the sphinx?
Apheori (GM): Some cat hair.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Ganelon: Well, the lack of signs is mysterious but we're in danger of the place collapsing and I don't see how a label would help us much.
 
Unless this room has a purpose we're unaware of.
Rhu backs away from the blood-stained Amadi.
Rhu backs away from blood-stained Amadi
 
Apheori (GM): Is Greibel smoking anything?
RHU
Rhu: (to Dave) why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
(to Dawn)
Ganelon: It's the morning. Of course he is.
why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
Bear Soup Guy: :D
 
Ellemerr: Is not smoking an option for him?
DAWN
Ganelon: (I think he actually did mention something of the sort)
(as though reading, though there's nothing there)
Dave: Max occupancy 47 persons
Max occupancy 47 persons. The space is there where it should be.
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he did wake up and smoke a lot of things when he say Dave and Amadi on the ceiling
 
Dave: The space is there where it should be.
There's a squawk from somewhere down the corridor. To Greibel, it sounds like a dying horse. To the Gravedigger, it sounds like an angry duck... and then like a horse dying. ''(rolled 25 nature)''
Bear Soup Guy: saw*
 
Gaurav: I imagine we'd stop him if he tried to smoke near something inflamable, but apart from that ...
Greibel perks up.
Apheori (GM): Is he still smoking?
 
Okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he could be if that would be helpful =D
A DYING DUCK-HORSE.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Gravy: You think you hear a squawk from a room down the corridor.
The Gravedigger charges down the hall.
Bear Soup Guy: He's out of his element here and doesn't know what any of this science stuff does, so he's probably a bit bored and smoking quite a bit
 
Apheori (GM): Maybe others do too.
Rhu runs out after Gravy, his maul drawn.
I dunno what your passive perceptions are.
 
Bear Soup Guy: passive 20
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse.
Ganelon: 18 here. Pretty good.
 
Gaurav: 22, but I think Rhu is still trying to work out the Mystery of the 47 Chairs, so he's distracted
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large. The blood in her hair isn't drying.
Ganelon: Passive perception is just 10+perception mod, after all.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel hears it too, and it sounds like a dying horse to him.
Dawn frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy as well, along with Radek.
Rhu hears it and doesn't really notice.
 
Greibel perks up
Meanwhile, in the presentation room, there is a horrible horking noise as the sphinx runs into the porridge.
Ganelon: Everyone here has ridiculous senses.
 
Apheori (GM): You're elves. Of course you do.
Rhu comes back to look and watch, before heading after the others after all a moment later.
Ganelon: You should see the other game, where the gnoll (they get a racial bonus and everything) is the highest at 5.
 
Gaurav: I would have ridiculous senses, if Gravy didn't keep showing off.
GREIBEL
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Oik!
Apheori (GM): Wow.
 
Ganelon: 5! He misses stuff all the time!
Greibel goes over to try to separate them, but somehow they've become tangled. Amadi skips down to help.
Bear Soup Guy: Fits the scenario quite well though
 
If our highest perception was 5 we'd still be walking around a parking lot looking at cars
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): back
Mmm.
Ganelon: He's a really shitty hunter. Nobody believes him though because he kept rolling over 15 the one time we had to track something.
 
Apheori (GM): Or you'd be dead.
Greibel and Amadi have a go at untangling them. ''(rolled 2 dexterity, 20 to assist)'' Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
Bear Soup Guy: Yes
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You heard a squawk down the hall.
The horrible noises cease and the sphinx flees out into the corridor as well.
Do stuff.
 
Ellemerr: Hey, I believe you! You've convinced me that you're a really shitty liar, and I believe in luck.
Bear Soup Guy: And I a horse
Apheori (GM): Also Amadi is all bloody.
Bear Soup Guy: NATURE BROTHERS ASSEMBLE
Ellemerr: Eh, just her hair.
Frezak (GM): What kind of squawk?
Apheori (GM): How is your nature?
Gaurav: A giant seabird has arrived. The giant fish are on their way.
Apheori (GM): Roll nature.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+9
(
16
)
+9
=
25
Ganelon: The pelicans have come!
Frezak (GM): THE GULLS
Gaurav: We must send BSG to negotiate on our behalf. And try to stop the sphinx from eating it.
Apheori (GM): It sounds like an angry duck and then like a horse dying.
Frezak (GM): OH, GODS, THE GULLS
I realy that terrifying information to the party.
*relay
AND CHARGE INTO THE HALL
Apheori (GM): And ignore the bloody Amadi?
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse
Frezak (GM): I'm not a healer.
I dig graves, I don't keep people out of them.
Apheori (GM): You don't need to be a healer to notice something is odd.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh, is it Amadi's own blood?
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large.
Apheori (GM): On the other hand, Amadi is always add.
odd
Gaurav: I was a healer until I killed someone. Now I'm a lapsed healer. Plus, it's Amadi. She'll pop into another world and then pop back, good as new.
Frezak (GM): EVERYTHING IS ODD.
Ganelon: ADD also works.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): So i charge into the halll.
Gaurav: Frezak: don't jinx it. Things have been surprisingly unodd for a while now.
Ganelon: I think I would prefer not to know why there's blood in her hair, myself.
Frezak (GM): THis world has taught me that being sensible in it is pointless.
Rhu goes out after Frezak, maul drawn.
Dave frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy.
Ganelon: So I'll just follow these guys.
Bear Soup Guy: Perhaps the blood is from whatever animal is squawking right now
Apheori (GM): At a sedate walk, though.
Frezak (GM): Was she birthed again?
OUt of a duckmoose?
Gaurav: She spent more than six minutes with the sphinx. That'll bloody anyone.
Apheori (GM): Folks in the hall: You now hear a horrible horking noise from the room you just left.
Frezak (GM): I don't want to know.
She's just spitting up an Amadiball.
Rhu pops his head back into the room in surprise
Frezak (GM): From licking too many ears;
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: The sphinx ran into the porridge.
Frezak (GM): I warned you.
Greibel: Oik!
Ellemerr: Uh-oh
Greibel goes over to try to separate them
Rhu shakes his head and return to the corridor
Apheori (GM): They're a bit tangled.
Greibel: Roll to untangle.
Amadi skips down to join with the seperating.
Apheori (GM): Probably dexterity.
Greibel: mmm
Apheori (GM): With an assist from Amadi.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+0
(
2
)
+0
=
2
XD XD XD
Ellemerr:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Ganelon: Amazing.
Bear Soup Guy: Utterly amazing
Gaurav: well that's a pair of rolls
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Ellemerr: Even I can roll good once in a while, you know. Just... never in combat.
Frezak (GM): So... With that crit.... Greibel got..4.
Ellemerr: Yes, I'm spending all my good rolls here, Frezak. Deal with it.
Frezak (GM): THANKS, AMADI
WAY TO GO.
THIS IS WHY THE STRANGER DIED.
Apheori (GM): Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
The horrible noises cease.
Amadi giggles.
Amadi giggles.
Ganelon: Just ask the Merr to Astral Seal something and you'll see how consistent she can be. For the worse.
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs out into the corridor as well.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well
 
Gaurav: darnit, should've locked it in here when we had the chance
GREIBEL
Ellemerr: I'd help, but I think I've sort of made it terrified of me, at least for a while.
(to Amadi)
Frezak (GM): So.....
Well, not to point out the obvious but... how'd you get all bloodied up?
I'm all alone?
 
Gaurav: no, I'm still in the corridor
AMADI
Frezak (GM): But you stopped running, right?
How did I what?
Gaurav: Yes. I'm right outside the door at the moment. Did you run ahead?
 
Ganelon: I followed you without interruption.
The porridge gloops.
Frezak (GM): I never turned back.
 
Ganelon: I don't want to be alone with all the crazy people.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): On the basis that Amadi can control spacetime.
Mmm. Right.
Greibel: (to Amadi) Well, not to point out the obvious but...how'd you get all bloodied up?
 
Apheori (GM): Dave's still walking after Gravy and Radek.
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad. Then she shrugs and pets the porridge.
Frezak (GM): ANd there was a duck in danger.
 
Ganelon: Or a dangerous duck.
The porridge rumbles.
Gaurav: An angry duck. A dead horse.
 
Ganelon: I think it might be that.
 
Frezak (GM): Zombie duck?
INT. Random office - underground complex
Amadi: How did I what?
 
The porridge: Gloop
The Gravedigger stops at the door of the room the noise apparently came from and looks inside. There's a desk, some chairs, and a deformed skeleton inside.
Greibel: Mmm. Right.
 
Rhu cautiously advances down the corridor in the direction that Gravy went
Everything is quiet now.
Frezak (GM): No need to be cautious.
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx catches up with Gravy at some point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad.
HELLO?
Frezak (GM): If there's something bad, it's gonna be busy with a faceful of Gravy
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You come to a room.
 
Frezak (GM): MY DREAD NEMESIS
The sphinx catches up and runs inside.
Apheori (GM): The noise came from here. It is all quiet now.
 
The Gravedigger: HELLO?
The Gravedigger spots a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It's not moving. He goes to check on it, and then finds the sphinx on top of it as he rounds the desk.
Ganelon: It's okay, I have a rifle. We can totally make this a duck hunt.
 
Apheori (GM): Nothing.
Radek and Dawn enter and just watch.
The Gravedigger: IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs in.
Checking for vital signs, the Gravedigger winds up with sphinx vital signs.
Gaurav: But it's rabbit season.
 
Frezak (GM): What IS in the room?
Radek is a scienceman.
Gaurav: Have I reached Frezak yet? How far ahead of us is he?
Frezak (GM): He can make a duck into a rabbit.
Apheori (GM): A desk, some chairs, a deformed skeleton...
And, apparently, a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It appears to be either dead or unconscious.
Frezak (GM): DEFORMED?
I check the duckmoose for vital signs.
Apheori (GM): It has too many feet.
You wind up with sphinx vital signs.
Frezak (GM): I attempt to remove the sphinx.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
Apheori (GM): You reach out to move the sphinx and it jumps off.
 
Ganelon: Cats.
The Gravedigger reaches out to move the sphinx and it jumps off. Checking again, he finds the duckmoose has too many legs and is not entirely alive.
Apheori (GM): Rhu, Radek: You come in as well.
 
Rhu: ... yeah ... okay ... I don't know what I was expecting.
Rhu catches up and comes in as well.
But that's not far off.
 
Frezak (GM): Is this apex of nature alive?
RHU
Apheori (GM): Apparently not.
...yeah... okay... I don't know what I was expecting. But that's not far off.
Amadi shrugs and pets the porridge.
 
The porridge rumbles.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Amadi: What time is it?
Can we leave yet?
The Gravedigger: Can we leave yet?
 
Greibel: Uhrm
RADEK
Gaurav: Time to get a new watch.
Time to leave, yes.
Radek: Time to leave, yes.
 
The Gravedigger: PLease.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dave: Okay.
Please.
Rhu: We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Should I and/or Amadi head to the room?
DAWN
We're still screwing around in the unimportant room
Okay.
Frezak (GM): I can totes nature it.
 
rolling 1D20+9
RHU
(
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
17
So... head of a duck, body of a moose? That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
)
 
+9
The Gravedigger turns back to give the thing another look, just to be humour him instead. ''(rolled 26 nature)''
=
 
26
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Don't suppose there's a map in this room either?
The duck-moose hybrid... Is not natural.
Frezak (GM): See? That's nature, right there.
 
That moose?
RADEK
not natural.
It might have been a test subject.
Rhu: So: head of a duck, body of a moose?
 
That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Nature determines that it's not natural.
Maybe. I hope I don't turn into a duck.
Amadi: Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
 
Apheori (GM): Some sort of horrible disease happened to it.
RHU
The Gravedigger: The duck-moose hybrid.... Is not natural.
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?
Greibel: Your hair is...very unique. It's nice.
 
Amadi: Thanks!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: I don't have a mirror but uh....I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
Yeah.
Amadi: Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.
 
Radek: It might have been a test subject.
DAWN
Would you turn into a duck? Does that even happen?
 
RADEK
I wouldn't discount anything.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I dunno. But this moose got ducked. I don't want to be ducked.
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.
 
 
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
 
AMADI
What time is it?
 
GREIBEL
Uhrm.
 
AMADI
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
 
GREIBEL
Your hair is... very unique. It's nice.
 
AMADI
Thanks!
 
GREIBEL
I don't have a mirror but uh... I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
 
AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.
 
GREIBEL
The sign on... was that there before?
 
Greibel walks over to read the sign. ''(rolled 8 reality)'' It looks like a map, but it shimmers too much to make out details.
 
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.
The Gravedigger: Maybe.
 
I hope I don't turn into a duck.
AMADI
Greibel: The sign on...was that there before?
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
Greibel walks over to read the sign
 
Rhu: I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So: definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?
Greibel tries to take the map off the door, but his fingers pass right through it.
The Gravedigger: Yeah.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll sanity.
GREIBEL
Greibel:
Oh, bugger all.
rolling 1d20
(To Amadi)
(
What does this say?
8
 
)
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it.  
=
 
8
AMADI
Dave: Would you turn into a duck? Does that even happen?
Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently.
Radek: I wouldn't discount anything.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The sign looks like a map.
Amadi taps a spot on the thingy.
But it shimmers too much to make out details.
 
The Gravedigger: I dunno.
GREIBEL
But this moose got ducked.
So where are we on this guide?
I don't want to be ducked.
 
Amadi: Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
Rhu comes back inside and then tries to figure out what they're looking at. The Gravedigger pushes his way in as well, Radek and Dawn following.
The Gravedigger: Are you colourblind?
 
My brother has that.
Amadi re-closes the door and points again.
Green bunnies.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Can I take the map off the door?
RHU
The Gravedigger: Not that HE ever saw a real bunny.
(to Greibel)
Because you only find them in zoos back home.
It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?
Apheori (GM): You try to take the map, but your fingers pass right through it.
 
Greibel: Oh, bugger all
DAWN
Gaurav: The annual bunny migration was a terrible time back in Roseberry
How do you know it isn't a proper creature?
Greibel: (To Amadi) What does this say?
 
(From Ellemerr): What do I tell him?
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: If you'd shown him this thing, he wouldn't have known it wasn't a proper creature.
Hold on, we found a map, check it out.
Ganelon: We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.
 
(To Amadi): It's the evacuation routes. Make something up.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): I don't know what to be concerned about anymore.
Well there goes my plan.
Ganelon: Let's just move on. Do your tracking thing and see if we can't find an exit.
 
I mean, I liked my moles idea, but the druid's occupied.
The others see no map. Not even a sign.
Frezak (GM): Tracking would tell me where feet went, but not which ones went to an exit.
 
It's not magic.
RHU
Gaurav: Dungeoneering check to see if, I dunno, the floor is sloping up or something?
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
And we should go get Greibel back before we move on.
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it. "Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently." She taps a spot on the thingy.
Gaurav: I'll go.
Rhu heads back to the hologram room, looking for Greibel.
Frezak (GM): Just pick a corridor and take the right-hand turn rule until we find an exit?
Rhu: (to Gravy, as he walks away) I like this plan!
Frezak (GM): I'd be a minotaur if I wasn't an elf!
Off to the holoroom.
Greibel: So where are we on this guide?
Rhu pops my head into the holoroom
Amadi points again.
Ganelon: Sure thing.
Rhu: (to Greibel) It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?
Dave: How do you know it isn't a proper creature?
Greibel: Hold on, we found a map, check it out
The Gravedigger: Well there goes my plan.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see no map.
Frezak (GM): It's a stonermap.
Gaurav: Do I even see the sign?
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Rhu: That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
Bear Soup Guy: Nice!
 
Greibel: Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Radek: You notice a mass of fluff nuzzling you.
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
Radek: ...Wrong, but continue.
 
Apheori (GM): It says, "Hungry."
RADEK
Ganelon: Is it the sphinx?
...Wrong, but continue.
Rhu: (to Dave) Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is?
 
It doesn't make sense.
The sphinx nuzzles Radek's hand.
The Gravedigger: Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease.
 
Dave: Why not?
SPHINX
What if the head and body belong to it?
Hungry.
The Gravedigger: Its a moose with a duck's head.
 
Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
RHU
But it doesn't.
(to Dawn)
Ganelon: No really, what is this nuzzling fluff?
Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is? It doesn't make sense.
Dave: The disease did it?
 
The Gravedigger: It probably died from having the wrong kind of head.
DAWN
Yes.
Why not? What if the head and body belong to it?
Apheori (GM): Yeah, sphinx, sorry.
 
Ganelon: Alright, just making sure it's not something *new*.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Get the party together!
It doesn't. Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease. Its a moose with a duck's head. Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
WE CAN SOLVE THIS
 
Rhu: The disease might have done it. That's true.
DAWN
Frezak (GM): The getting out of here, specifically.
The disease did it?
Rhu: Huh, solve _this_. We still haven't solved the mystery of the 47 chairs.
 
Frezak (GM): duckmooses can be solved later.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Getting out of here would be nice, though. I miss the sun.
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head. Yes.
The Gravedigger: Let's go get RAdek and Co. and get out of here.
 
Tis place is falling apart.
RHU
Radek: Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
The disease might have done it. That's true.
The sphinx: Hungry.
 
Rhu: Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go get out of here. Tis place is falling apart.
 
RADEK
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
 
SPHINX
Hungry.
 
RHU
Agreed. Let's go!
Agreed. Let's go!
The Gravedigger picks up Radek.
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
The Gravedigger: ONWARDS
 
Radek: I have no time to tell stories!
RADEK
Ganelon: I'm okay with this.
I have no time to tell stories!
Apheori (GM) picks up the sphinx.
 
Dave picks up the sphinx.
The Gravedigger rolls the Mouseforged back onto Dawn's floating disk, and picks up Radek.
Apheori (GM): >.<
 
Ganelon: Radek is probably less so, but still.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Amadi: We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
ONWARDS.
 
Dawn picks up the sphinx.
 
AMADI
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
 
Amadi points to something on the sign.
Amadi points to something on the sign.
Rhu: Does what look like a rabbit?
 
... the wall?
RHU
Greibel: hmmmm
Does what look like a rabbit? ...the wall?
Could be. How strange.
 
Rhu: There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): The floating disk hits Greibel on the way out the door and stops.
Hmmmm. Could be. How strange.
Amadi: Mmm, I don't think we should follow the sphinx...
 
The Gravedigger: Right hand rule!
RHU
Less talky, more walky rightwards!
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat.
Come on, people!
 
Out the deathtrap!
AMADI
Rhu follows Gravy
Mmm, I don't think we should follow the sphinx...
Apheori (GM): You've left the mouseforged in the room.
 
Just so you know.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: D'oh.
Right hand rule! Less talky, more walky rightwards! Come on, people! Out the deathtrap!
Greibel falls
 
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Amadi and Greibel are still looking at the sign by the door, so the Gravedigger puts down Radek and picks them up instead.
Rhu mentions the mouseforged to Gravy -- he's not going back for it if Gravy doesn't want to.
 
Frezak (GM): I'll go put Mousie on the disj.
GREIBEL
*disk
Oof.
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now sitting on the disk where the mouseforged was supposed to be.
 
Frezak (GM): It's gone?
AMADI
Apheori (GM): It fell on some of the seats.
Wheeee.
Frezak (GM): Oh.
 
Well, i'll put down Radek, Pick up Greibel, pud Griebel down, pick up Mousie and put Mousie on the disk.
The Gravedigger heads out. Radek and Rhu follow.
Whew.
 
Greibel sits on the floor vacantly
GREIBEL
Gaurav: Put down Radek? Where is he?
(to Amadi)
Apheori (GM): Does everyone leave?
So I guess we're not following the map.
Now?
 
Frezak (GM): I picked him up.
 
Gaurav: Rhu sticks with Gravy.
INT. Corridors - underground complex.
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Rhu.
 
Ganelon: Well I'm not going back just to shout at the cat some more.
The Gravedigger follows the right-hand rule, looking for an exit.
So yeah, I'll just follow.
 
Ellemerr: I'll sit with Greibel and sing komba-ya.
Dawn wanders off in another direction entirely.
Frezak (GM): On the floor?
 
Once I put Mousie on the disk, I pick up Griebel and Amadi.
The Gravedigger ignores her.
And get moving.
 
Greibel: oof
RHU
Amadi: Wheeee~
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you head out!
 
Gaurav: YAY!
AMADI
Greibel: (to Amadi) So I guess we're not following the map
She's full of holes! Maybe we'll fall down and find the white rabbit!
Apheori (GM): Which way do you go? What do you do when Dave turns in a seemingly random direction?
 
Frezak (GM): Personally?
GREIBEL
I'd ignore her.
Rabbits are nice!
Ganelon: We have a plan.
 
Gaurav: Wait, how many directions are there? I was imagining one corridor with the holoroom as a door on a side?
RHU
Ganelon: For once I'd like to stick to it.
Rabbits eat everything. They're pests.
Apheori (GM): I don't know.
 
Rhu: We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): She's also batshit.
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
Amadi: She's full of holes! Maybe we'll fall down and find the white rabbit!
 
Greibel: Rabbits are nice!
After a moment, Dawn turns back and re-follows the others.
Rhu makes as if to reply to Gravy, stops, thinks, then shrugs
 
Rhu: Rabbits eat everything. They're pests.
They get lost, but keep going.
Greibel: But they're so cute and fuzzy!
 
Frezak (GM): No, that was Frezak that said she was batshit.
 
Gravy would never say that.
INT. Room - underground complex
Gaurav: Oh, right! Sorry. My bad.
 
Apheori (GM): So if you all ignore it, Dave will turn around and follow everyone else.
Later they come across a room with a large spherical object on a table, about the size of a basketball, with a bunch of wires and tubes attached to it. The far wall is covered in mirrors.
What's your plan, again?
 
Frezak (GM): Keep turning right until we find an exit.
The Gravedigger is still carrying Amadi and Greibel, one slung under each arm.
Apheori (GM): o_O
 
Frezak (GM): Classic dungeon rule.
Amadi's hair has finally dried, resulting in a hairy mass of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
Gaurav: Or monsters.
 
Apheori (GM): You wind up going in a circle.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Then we go and do the same with the other wall.
(To Amadi)
Apheori (GM): The other wall?
Your hair is really quite lovely today.
Frezak (GM): Map.
 
If we went in a circle, then we were following the inner square.
AMADI
So we find a corridor.
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
And use the other wall as our direction wall.
 
And do it again.
RHU
Apheori (GM): You get hopelessly lost.
I think we should head back to the holoroom.
Frezak (GM): WHAT
 
HOW CAN WE GET LOST.
AMADI
I give up.
Go back? What for? Did someone forget their hairdye?
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor of an office building.
 
Frezak (GM): Someone else do this.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Going around the outsides, you find no exits.
Not gonna say I told you so but... I told you so.
Aside from maybe something down rubble lane.
 
Gaurav: So we spot nothing else in our lost wanderings? And now we can't find our way back to the lab room?
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier.
Apheori (GM): Yup!
 
Well, nothing useful. Because I can't think of anything.
Radek goes to examine the object. ''(rolled 17 arcana)'' It seems to be the shielding artifact described in the presentations.
Lots of bodies.
 
Wait, no, you do come across something.
DAWN
You're lost and you encounter a room with a... moose!
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in. I... think?
...jus kidding.
 
Apheori (GM): Not a moose, but a spherical thing on a table with a bunch of tubes attached to it.
Dawn winces for some reason.
Gaurav: "laid out like ... an office building" -- do you mean something like this: http://touristinmyownland.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/fort-canning-bunker.png
 
Rhu: I think we should head back to the holoroom.
AMADI
Greibel: Not gonna say I told you so but....I told you so.
I was inside. I'm outside now.
Ganelon: I'll inspect this spherical thing.
 
Amadi: Go back? What for?
RHU
Ganelon: Sounds like magic to me.
(to Amadi)
Amadi: Did someone forget their hairdye?
Are you bleeding?
Amadi has now a hair full of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
AMADI
(
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
6
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
+11
Yeah, that's blood.
=
 
17
Radek groans and goes back to the others to take a look. He examines Amadi's head ''(rolled 23 heal)'' and finds no wounds. In fact she seems to be perfectly fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor in a tall building, I mean.
 
Gan: It is magic! Apparently it's the shielding artifact.
You think.
You're not sure.
Greibel: (To Amadi) Your hair is really quite lovely today.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm imagining that Gravy still has each of us slung across his shoulders
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier
Amadi: Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
Dave: I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in.
I... think?
Frezak (GM): under each arm.
Like pigs.
Dave winces for some reason.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Amadi: I was inside. I'm outside now.
Rhu: (to Amadi) Are you bleeding? Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
Apheori (GM): Just tell her there's a bath on the other side.
Amadi: Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
Frezak (GM): Do I smell blood?
Ganelon: I'll groan and have a look.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Ganelon: What'll that be, heal or perception?
The Gravedigger: Yeah, that's blood.
Apheori (GM): Heal, probably.
(To Amadi): What actually did happen? >.>
Frezak (GM): Can't you just syringe her?
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+8
(
15
)
+8
=
23
Gaurav: Gonna make some sandwiches, so if I'm slow to reply, you know why.
Ganelon: Sure, but if it's not coming from a wound, what good would that do?
(From Amadi): You're asking me? She dyed her hair! While in... the other place.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
Apheori (GM): Well, you determine that it's not from a wound.
That's what good it does..
Gaurav: "Radek begins examining Amadi's head for injury. Amadi's hair comes to life and kills him. The end."
The Gravedigger: Eh, she's not complaining.
Ganelon: I mean a healing thing.
Apheori (GM): Heal is also to check, no?
Ganelon: Yes
I don't roll heal checks to use my infusions.
Gaurav: Yeah, we agreed that Heal would be for anything medical.
Ganelon: They just work.
Apheori (GM): You check out her head. It's fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Like she tried washing it with blood.
Like she tried washing it with blood.
Radek: She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy.
 
And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Shielding thing. How big is it? And how secure?
Eh, she's not complaining.
Rhu: (to Amadi) Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
 
Frezak (GM): I CAN DESECURE IT
RADEK
Amadi: Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy. And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
Apheori (GM): It's got wires and tubes all over it, and it's a bit smaller than a basketball.
 
You can desecure it.
RHU
Amadi: Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
(to Amadi)
Dave walks over to a mirror and touches it.
Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
Ganelon: Do so.
 
Apheori (GM): You desecure it?
AMADI
Rhu: It's not oozing, it's just ... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Radek: Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
Frezak (GM): Not until teh smart guy demands my might.
 
I DETACH IT
RHU
With my consistently epic Str >.>
It's not oozing, it's just... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.
Ganelon: It is possible that we may all die, but I doubt that.
 
Amadi: ... Yeah, you're crazy.
Dawn walks over to a mirror and touches it.
Dave looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
 
Frezak (GM): I will carefully put down my charges.
AMADI
ANd prepare to desecure the thingy.
... Yeah, you're crazy.
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors.
 
Greibel oinks at Gravy
Dawn looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
Rhu:
 
rolling 1d20+12 perception check to examine the mirrors
Radek goes back to the artifact on the table and checks it out more thoroughly.
(
 
20
RADEK
)
(to Gravy)
+12
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
=
 
32
The Gravedigger carefully puts down Amadi and Greibel and prepares to desecure the object.
Apheori (GM): How do you want to do so?
 
Frezak (GM): I have no idea.
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors. ''(rolled 32 perception (natural 20))'' They look normal. One has some smudges on it.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU ARE THE MIRROR
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Normal mirrors over a sink and crap.
Rhu wipes at the smudges.
Ganelon: Get the tubes off of it.
 
Apheori (GM): There are some smudges on one.
Greibel oinks at the Gravedigger.
Rhu wipes at the smudges
 
Frezak (GM): I slice the tubes with my razor-edged shovel.
The Gravedigger slices at the tubes with a razor-edged shovel, and they deflate sadly with a sad hiss. It's very sad.
Ganelon: It would help to know how they're attached.
 
Apheori (GM): They only sort of wipe away, and mostly just become smudgier.
The Gravedigger heaves the object out of its setting. ''(rolled 25 strength (natural 20))'' It comes out neatly and he's left standing there holding a weird shiny orb. And then, to him, everything goes funky. ''(rolled 1 reality)'' All sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
Gaurav: Like all smudges everywhere, then.
 
Apheori (GM): The tubes deflate sadly.
The Gravedigger hurriedly starts to put the orb back, but then Radek gestures for him to hand it over instead, and he does so.
With a sad hiss.
 
It's very sad.
Everything goes back to normal.
Frezak (GM): Have at thee, tubes!
 
Gaurav: :( poor tubes
Radek, now holding the orb instead, gets his own dose of the feeling. ''(rolled 31 arcana (natural 20))''
Apheori (GM): It's still stuck in its stand. Whatdo you do?
 
Frezak (GM): I HEAVE.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Apheori (GM): ROLL SANITY
 
Frezak (GM): 1
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Apheori (GM): ...I mean strength.
 
Frezak (GM): WHEW
Gaurav: That was the sanity check
Ganelon: "Nyeehhh"
Frezak (GM): IM GLAD I DID NOT ROLL SANITY.
Gaurav: Now roll the strength check
Apheori (GM): Okay, if your strength does bad things...
Frezak (GM): Whoa, no.
that's not Str.
Apheori (GM): You may have a problem.
Gaurav: Don't break the mirror, it's bad luck!
Apheori (GM): Roll strength.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+5
(
20
)
+5
=
25
MY MIGHT UNLEASHED
Gaurav: YES
Apheori (GM): You heave the artifact out of its stand.
Ganelon: BY THE POWER OF GRAVYSKULL
Gaurav: Frezak's muscles unexpectedly bulge out of his shirt, tearing it to pieces.
Bear Soup Guy: "and the bit of floor underneath it yanks out as well"
Frezak (GM): I LIFT THE WORD
Apheori (GM): It comes out neatly and you're left standing there holding a weird sshiny orb.
Frezak (GM): SUCK ON THIS, ATLAS.
Apheori (GM): And then everything goes funky.
Frezak (GM): I PUT THE ORB BACK
Ganelon: What!? No!
Give it to me!
Apheori (GM): Funky as in all sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
Frezak (GM): I GIVE THE ORB TO RADEK
Rhu wipes at the smudges again
Apheori (GM): You set the orb down and it almost rolls off the table and then give it to Radek. Everything goes back to normal.
Radek: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Hrm.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: They are normal mirror smudges. Without cleaner you won't succeed.
Radek: Arcana.
Again.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11
(
20
)
+11
=
31
BOOYEAH
Frezak (GM): Gan.
Wait.
Our pwoers are being bolstered by madness.
We've become Alienists.
Apheori (GM): It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Frezak (GM): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Apheori (GM): XD
Gaurav: What is Rhu hearing from over here? Are there whizzy magic noises, or is reality just twisting hither and thither?
Ganelon: ALIENISTS YESSS
Gaurav: Plus things being dropped and whatnot.
Frezak (GM): FAR REALM, HERE I COME
Apheori (GM): The only one seeing twisty reality was Gravy, and that stopped when he put it down.
Radek cackles.
Radek cackles.
Apheori (GM): You just heard a yanking.
 
And now cackling.
RADEK
Radek: Yes! This is it!
Yes! This is it!
Frezak (GM): I'm glad Gravy has a ton of HP.
 
Ganelon: Shielded physically, right?
The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
Apheori (GM): The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
 
Ganelon: Like, I have reason to believe that I could be attacked and not get harmed?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Hit me with the shovel!
Radek: Hit me with the shovel!
 
Frezak (GM): SHOVEL STRIKE
Rhu turns away from the mirror in time to see the Gravedigger swing his shovel right at Radek.
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
 
Frezak (GM): WEIGHT OF EARTH.
RHU
Rhu turns away from the mirror and looks at Gravy and Radek quizzically
...Gravy? What are you doing?
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20+7
DAWN
(
Science.
3
 
)
The Gravedigger misses.
+7
 
=
Radek gives him a disappointed look.
10
 
Vs AC.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GORRAM/.
Sorry, got overexcited there.
Rhu: ... Gravy? What are you doing?
 
Frezak (GM): that's a tickle.
RADEK
Dave: Science.
I said ''hit'' me.
Frezak (GM): The weight of earth is more like balsa.
 
Ganelon: I'm not trying to dodge, but wow.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Disappointing shovel strike, there.
Let me try again.
Apheori (GM): He missed.
 
Radek: ...
The Gravedigger tries again, misses again, tries a third time, and finally hits Radek full force with his shovel.
The Gravedigger: Sorry, got overexcited there.
 
Radek: I said /hit/ me.
Radek falls over.
The Gravedigger: Let me try again.
 
Frezak (GM):
RHU
rolling 1D20+7
Woah! Gravy!
(
 
6
Radek jumps up immediately after.
)
 
+7
RADEK
=
Hahahaha!
13
 
JESUS.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
FUCK YOU, DICE.
AWESOME.
rolling 1D20+7
 
(
Rhu just stares.
19
 
)
DAWN
+7
Is this science?
=
 
26
RADEK
EVENTAULLY
Yes! This is science!
Ganelon: THERE WE GO
 
Frezak (GM): He's just spinning like a top.
RHU
Dave: Is this science?
I vote... madness?
Apheori (GM): And Radek falls over.
 
Rhu: Woah! Gravy!
RADEK
Apheori (GM): But he's basically unharmed.
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Radek: Hahahaha!
 
The Gravedigger: AWESOME.
Rhu: ...
Radek: Yes! This is science!
Rhu: I vote ... madness?
Radek: Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Amadi disappears.
Amadi disappears.
Ganelon: Not exactly what I meant, Amadi, but okay.
 
Greibel looks around confused
Greibel looks around, confused.
The Gravedigger: Cheater!
 
The sphinx: Death. Good.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dave: Shush, sweetling.
Cheater!
Ellemerr might come back eventually. But she needs to... something.
 
Dave: This way! There are stairs.
SPHINX
Dave points at a wall.
Death. Good.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios
 
The Gravedigger: That's a wall.
DAWN
Greibel: Hmmmm
(reaching down to stroke the sphinx)
I've seen this
Shush, sweetling.
STAND BACK
(to the others)
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dave pointed at
This way! There are stairs.
Dave: Well, that... what are you doing?
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Dawn points at a wall.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
That's a wall.
2
 
)
GREIBEL
=
Hmmmm. I've seen this. STAND BACK.
2
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel runs through the wall.
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dawn pointed at.
The Gravedigger: Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
 
oh.
DAWN
Rhu: Wha .. ?!
Well, that...
The Gravedigger: Yeah, that's pretty good.
 
Dave: That was not what I meant, but okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: ... yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
The Gravedigger: Oh, Dust.
 
It's like that metal thing earlier.
Greibel runs right through the wall. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
Only you crazy guys can go through it.
 
Unless RAdek wants to chat it up.
DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.
 
RHU
Wha... ?!
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's pretty good.
 
RHU
...yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.
 
DAWN
Are we?
 
Dawn walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Dust. It's like that metal thing earlier. Only you crazy guys can go through it. Unless Radek wants to chat it up.
 
Radek glances at the ceiling.
Radek glances at the ceiling.
Dave: Are we?
 
Radek: I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
RADEK
Dave walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
 
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.
The Gravedigger: Use mints!
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: Bah. Fine!
Use mints!
Frezak (GM): I'm a wingman!
 
Radek: You there! Wall!
RHU
Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
(at the wall)
Apheori (GM): The wall says nothing.
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?
The Gravedigger: Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
 
Rhu: HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?
 
Bear Soup Guy: Can I hear him?
INT. Walls - underground complex
Radek: Her silence did not avail her! Here I stand as proof that walls have not bested me before, and they will not best me now!
 
Dave: I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
While all of that is going on, Greibel walks through several more walls and then finds the stairs, right in the direction Dawn had indicated.
(To Greibel): Depends on what you do on the other side - do you keep walking after walking into the wall?
 
Radek: Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!
 
The Gravedigger: "supposed' is worth little, it seems.
INT. Room - underground complex
Dave: Or you could just use the...
 
Ganelon: I'll try walking through it.
RADEK
Dave points toward the doorway in the other direction.
Bah. Fine! You there! Wall! Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
 
Greibel doesn't respond to Rhu's calls
The wall says nothing.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
5
 
)
RADEK
=
Her silence did not avail her! Here I stand as proof that walls have not bested me before, and they will not best me now!
5
 
Ooh, nice and low.
DAWN
Apheori (GM): You run into it.
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
It is solid.
 
Ganelon: Damn.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Okay, I have an idea.
"Supposed' is worth little, it seems.
You hold onto the orb.
 
And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.
RADEK
Radek: That isn't likely to help /you/ pass through it.
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!
Rhu looks through the doorwya Dave pointed out
 
The Gravedigger: It is if I break the wall.
Radek tries walking through the wall. To him, it seems solid.
(To Greibel): You walk through several walls and find the stairs, I suppose.
 
DAWN
Or you could just use the...
 
Dawn points toward the door.
 
Rhu looks.
 
Dawn tugs Rhu's sleeve and then leads him toward the door, back out into the maze of corridors. He follows without objection.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, I have an idea. You hold onto the orb. And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.
 
RADEK
That isn't likely to help ''you'' pass through it.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It is if I break the wall.
 
Radek shrugs.
Radek shrugs.
Radek: Very well.
 
Dave tugs Rhu's sleeve and starts to lead him toward the doorway.
RADEK
Ganelon: This may actually have been the first time Radek showed enough concern to point out that something was likely to endanger one of you guys.
Very well.
Frezak (GM): I suppose I don't have proficiency in Improvised Weapon: Little old mad scientist?
 
Rhu lets Dave lead him
The Gravedigger picks up Radek, holds him tight, and leaps into the wall, smashing the little old mad scientist into it head-first. The orb lets out a glowing pulse. ''(rolled 17 attack)'' For a moment, everything feels as mad as it had when he had been holding the orb himself, but then it goes back to normal - right as they both pass right through the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness. ''(both rolled 1 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Nope.
 
Frezak (GM):
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): And to think. We're supposed to be the sane people.
rolling 1D20+5
 
(
 
12
INT. Stairwell - underground complex
)
 
+5
Dawn and Rhu find Greibel smoking by the entrance to the stairs.
=
 
17
RHU
EAAAAGLE
Hey!
Apheori (GM): You smash the little old mad scientist into the wall and the orb lets out a glowing pulse.
 
Gravy: For a moment, everything feels as mad as when you were holding it, then it's back to normal.
Greibel looks up.
Frezak (GM): Okay.
 
I pick up radek.
GREIBEL
Hold him tight.
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
Apheori (GM): Dave leads Rhu out in the hallway and then down a few more in the general direction she had been pointing.
 
Frezak (GM): And just leap into the wall, Radek-first.
RHU
Apheori (GM): d20s from both of you.
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
Ganelon: And to think.
 
Frezak (GM):
DAWN
rolling 1D20
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce. Probably.
(
 
1
GREIBEL
)
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here.
=
 
1
 
Ganelon: We're supposed to be the sane people.
INT. Not quite midnight
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO
 
Ganelon:
Everything is dark. There little to no sensation, and even less to see. As Radek and the Gravedigger drift through the dark, they find the can still move, here, even without substance, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of cheese...
rolling 1d20
 
(
And power, too. They feel it, in the distance below them...
1
 
)
RADEK
=
It's astounding that the others still doubt us.
1
 
YES
The Gravedigger is still using Radek as a shield, and he directs them toward that power, moving them closer, closer, closer.
YEEEESSSS
 
Apheori (GM): XD
They descend into the darkness, losing all sense of direction, including where they were supposed to be going in the first place. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will yet come to pass.
Frezak (GM): GO TEAM
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Man, the odds of that!
This is it. What I have been seeking. All this time!
Frezak (GM): WE DESCEND INTO MADNESS
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL.
Apheori (GM): You both disappear into the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness.
 
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO
They're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further they go, the more aware they become of the existence beyond what they've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
Radek: It's astounding that the other still doubt us.
 
Ganelon: others*
Apheori (GM): Everything is dark. You feel little to nothing, and see even less. You can move, though, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of chese...
And power, too. You feel it, in the distance below you...
Frezak (GM): I'm still using Radek as a shield.
TO POWER
Powerrrrr
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Dave leads you to a stairwell, and you find Greibel smoking by the entrance.
Frezak (GM): Is he wearing a fedora and leaning against a lamp-post?
Rhu: Hey!
Greibel looks up
Greibel: Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You descent into the darkness, losing sense of direction, including where you were supposed to be going. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will come to pass.
Rhu: Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
Ganelon: It certainly doesn't matter, yes.
Dave: They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce.
The Gravedigger: This is it.
WHat I have been seeking.
All this time!
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL
Greibel: I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further you go, the more aware you become of existence beyond what you've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
What's your wills?
 
Ganelon: My will is...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: The stories. All true...
The stories. All true...
Ganelon: 15. Actually pretty okay.
THEY SAID I WAS MAD. I'll SHOW THEM.
The Gravedigger: THEY SAID I WAS MAD
I WILL HAVE YOU. AND SHOW THE WORLD. I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF.
Apheori (GM): What's Greibel's will?
 
The Gravedigger: I'll SHOW THEM
RADEK
Frezak (GM): 13 will, here >.>
Hey. Gravy. This isn't a shovel.
Greibel: 17
 
Frezak (GM): GO DEFENDER CLASS.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Okay, that explains a thing or two.
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT. I WILL- what?
Ganelon: Will comes from wisdom and charisma rather than intelligence. Radek only has a bit of wisdom and obviously he's an unlikable jerk.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: This isn't right. It feels wonderful, perfect, but it isn't right.
RADEK
He's smart enough and has enough willpower to figure that out.
The Gravedigger: I WILL HAVE YOU
AND SHOW THE WORLD
I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF
Radek: Hey. Gravy.
This isn't a shovel.
This isn't a shovel.
The Gravedigger: NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT
 
I WILL- what?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: This isn't a shovel.
Oh. Damn.
The Gravedigger: Oh.
 
Damn.
RADEK
Radek: Something wrong about it.
Something wrong about it.
The Gravedigger: Never mind, then.
 
Radek: Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Never mind, then.
 
RADEK
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.  
 
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.
The Gravedigger: So.. uh.
 
We going back to the guys, then?
 
Radek: I... suppose.
INT. Stairwell - underground complex
The Gravedigger: Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff?
 
I'm sure something cool will happen.
RHU
Rhu: (to Greibel and Dave) Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
Radek: What? No!
 
Apheori (GM): You're IN the power stuff, though, including the orb.
DAWN
Radek: Also, it's...
Yeah, maybe. How long does it take to bash in a wall?
Not in my hands.
 
Dave: Yeah, maybe.
GREIBEL
Gaurav: Are they still falling?
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
Ganelon: Or, wait.
 
Dave: How long does it take to bash in a wall?
RHU
Ganelon: Sorry, I think I misunderstood.
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
It's probably still in his hands.
 
Greibel: I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
Greibel takes another bong hit.
Apheori (GM): I thought Radek was holding it, and Gravy holding Radek...
 
Rhu: There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
Rhu starts to head back toward the room.
Ganelon: Yeah, that's right.
 
Greibel takes another bong hit
DAWN
Rhu heads back to the wall where Greibel fell in
(to Greibel)
Ganelon: I definitely misunderstood. Ignore that last bit.
Guard the way?
Apheori (GM): On the other hand neither of you arguably even have hands at the moment.
 
And you couldn't separate or drop anything anyway. You're basically consciousnesses surrounded by warm glowing power.
RHU
Guard what way?
 
GREIBEL
Yes, which way?
 
DAWN
Stand... I mean? Guard.
 
GREIBEL
(he salutes)
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
 
Rhu and Dawn head back.
 
 
INT. Not quite midnight
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh. We going back to the guys, then?
 
RADEK
I... suppose.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff? I'm sure something cool will happen.
 
RADEK
What? No!
 
Even so, he probably couldn't drop it if he wanted to - the orb is basically gone, as are their hands and everything about them. At this point, they have become little more than consciousness surrounded by warm glowing power.
 
And it's getting stronger.
And it's getting stronger.
Ganelon: Might that be a sign of danger?
 
Apheori (GM): Probably.
RADEK
Radek: We should get out of here.
We should get out of here.
The Gravedigger: All right.
 
Dave: (to Greibel) Guard the way?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
All right.
Apheori (GM): Roll wisdom to move.
 
Ganelon: +5, I guess?
RADEK
Rhu: Guard what way?
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20+2
Slowly they will themselves to move, away from the light, into the cold, empty darkness. ''(rolled 19 collective wisdom)''
(
 
10
)
+2
=
12
Apheori (GM): You can combine your wisdoms.
Frezak (GM): I'm a Warden.
my stats suck.
Greibel: Yes, which way?
Ganelon: I mean, my wisdom defense is 15, but everyone starts at 10.
Dave: Stand... I mean?
Frezak (GM): Will or Wisdom?
Dave: It's a figure of speech.
Ganelon: Oh right.
Sorry.
Greibel salutes
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+3
(
4
)
+3
=
7
Bah.
Greibel: Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
Ganelon: Well my wisdom + 1/2 level is 3.
Apheori (GM): Do you want to move away from the light into the cold, empty darkness?
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
There is no shovel.
Ganelon: Yes.
Frezak (GM): There is no reason to be here.
Apheori (GM): You do.
It's horrible.
It's horrible.
It's the worst thing you've ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
 
And then you realise you have no idea where you're going.
It's the worst thing either have them have ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
Frezak (GM): None of that sounds unusual.
 
Gaurav: Man. This campaign is such an emotional rollercoaster sometimes.
And then they realise they have no idea where they're going.
Ganelon: Seriously.
 
Gaurav: Does Rhu remember the way back to where he left Radek and Gravy?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): None of that sounds unusual.
Ganelon: I laughed. I cried. I went insane several times.
 
Apheori (GM): Also Rhu goes back to the room and Dave follows him. But it's empty and the wall ain't even bashed.
Then, finally, after what feels like an eternity, it ends, and the pop out into searing light and colour, exploding through every aspect of their beings.
Frezak (GM): I just went mad and stayed there.
 
Rhu: Huh.
 
Rhu looks down the corridors to see where they went.
INT. Room - underground complex
Rhu: No sign of a struggle.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek and Gravy: You keep going and then pop out into light and space and colour and collapse on the floor.
Rhu and Dawn get back to find the room they had left empty, basically the way they had left it, no sign of the Gravedigger or Radek. The wall isn't even bashed.
 
RHU
Huh.
 
Rhu looks down the corridors to see if he can tell where they might have gone, but there's no sign.
 
The Gravedigger and Radek suddenly pop out of the wall and collapse on the floor in a heap at Dawn's feet.
 
Dawn takes a step back in surprise.
 
Radek groans quietly.
Radek groans quietly.
Apheori (GM): Dave is standing over you, but she takes a step back in surprise.
 
Dave: Oh... what?
DAWN
(yelling back toward the door) RHU!
Oh... what?
Found them!
(yelling back toward the door)
The Gravedigger: Hey.
RHU! Found them!
Is it lunchtime?
 
Rhu: Ah, you got through the wall after all, then?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dave: Do you have lunch?
Hey. Is it lunchtime?
 
RHU
Ah, you got through the wall after all, then?
 
DAWN
Floor, apparently.
Floor, apparently.
Rhu: Oh. Kay.
 
The Gravedigger: THere wasn't a shovel.
RHU
Rhu: *shrugs* It's lunchtime SOMEwhere.
Oh. Kay.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There wasn't a shovel.
 
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.
The Gravedigger: Sounds good to me.
 
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere....
RHU
It's lunchtime somewhere.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sounds good to me.
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere...  
 
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.
Rhu: Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
 
RHU
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
 
Radek mumbles to himself.
Radek mumbles to himself.
The Gravedigger: We ended up here.
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx, now wrapped around Dave's shoulders, says, "Hungry."
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Pickle and cheese?
We ended up here.
WHo packed this? I never make pickle and cheese?
 
Apheori (GM): It's staring at Gravy.
SPHINX
The Gravedigger: Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(on Dawn's shoulders)
Hungry.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(looking at a sandwich he pulled out)
Pickle and cheese? Who packed this? I never make pickle and cheese. Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(he pulls out another bag)
Wait, no, here they are.
Wait, no, here they are.
Radek: One part silver, three parts nitrogen... is it any wonder? They always ask when the answer's right in front of their noses...
 
Rhu: (to Sphinx) Do you want more stories?
RADEK
The sphinx: (still staring at Gravy) Stories.
One part silver, three parts nitrogen... is it any wonder? They always ask when the answer's right in front of their noses...
The Gravedigger: I have sandwiches.
 
So tough.
RHU
Well, I might have some soup.
(to the sphinx)
Chicken and noodle.
Do you want more stories?
Radek: I'm... starting to hate walls.
 
The Gravedigger: You want a sandwich?
SPHINX
Radek: I want to be outside.
(staring at Gravy)
The Gravedigger shrugs.
Stories.
The Gravedigger: All i got is sandwiches.
 
Ganelon: Can't really fault him for that.
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind. The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will eat some sandwiches.
 
Apheori (GM): The walls will make unhappy noises.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Okay, ready.
I have sandwiches. So tough. Well, I might have some soup. Chicken and noodle.
Where now?
 
Ganelon: Back to the stairs, everyone?
RADEK
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind
I'm... starting to hate walls.
Rhu: Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Y'all head back to the stairs, the.
You want a sandwich?
n
 
And Greibel.
RADEK
Rhu nods at the sphinx, still keeping a distance.
I want to be outside.
Apheori (GM): Any remarks, or do y'all head on up the stairs and out?
 
Ganelon: Not from me, at least.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): I'm good.
(he shrugs)
Gaurav: I'm still following Gravy wherever he goes.
All I got is sandwiches.
Frezak (GM): I AM A BEACON IN THIS DARK LAND
 
And probably the most crazy of you people, you just don't know it.
The walls groan.
Gaurav: Literally so, if you still have torches on your horns.
 
Frezak (GM): Oh, that too.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: Probably, which is why it's best to stay behind you.
Okay, ready. Where now?
Frezak (GM): I can only charge forwards!
 
Apheori (GM): Or sit backwards.
RHU
You go up.
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
 
Dawn leads everyone back to the stairs, and Greibel.
 
They go up.
 
And up.
And up.
Aaaaand up.
 
Gaurav: We still have the mouseforged, the porridge, and the sphinx, right?
And up.
Apheori (GM): Dave winds up riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
 
Yes.
 
Anyone else care to try climbing on as well?
INT. CRYPT
Frezak (GM): Nah, I'm endurable.
 
Gaurav: Rhu'll pass; it's tempting, but it looks plenty crowded as it is.
After an annoyingly long climb, a few transfers to slightly different staircases, and a fair bit of grumbling, the party, complete with midget, Mouseforged, porridge, and sphinx, come to a final door and spill out into a crypt.
Ganelon: Radek would, but the strength in his legs is not worth the risk of him falling down a flight of stairs due to disk overpopulation.
 
Apheori (GM): Heh.
It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap. Nothing looks to have disturbed it recently, but it's clean.
Ganelon: Plus he's carrying an orb and doesn't feel like sharing.
 
Even if that might protect him from falling down a flight of stairs.
Behind them, the door closes and becomes almost indistinguishable from the rest of the wall, though they could probably still use it since they now know it's there.
Frezak (GM): I can carry Radek.
 
Apheori (GM): After an annoyingly long climb you come to a final door (there may have been a few on landings and crap on the way up), pass through, and wind up in a crypt.
By this point, Dawn is riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
Frezak (GM): Hmmm.
 
Rhu: This is pretty deep, wherever "this" is.
The Gravedigger shines his horn-torches around.
The Gravedigger: Undead guys in here, Rhu?
 
Gaurav: How do I test this? Will a Perception check do?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Religion check!
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
rolling 1d20+8 religion checks the HECK out of this crypt
 
(
Rhu shrugs.
4
 
)
RADEK
+8
I'll go first.
=
 
12
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): You want me to use Gravyvision?
Radek? Are you protected against magic?
Apheori (GM): Apparently you came out through a secret door. Do you close it?
 
Rhu: You sense nothing active.
RADEK
Gaurav: With a '12', that probably means there's an undead hiding behind the next crypt >.<
Quite possibly.
Radek: I'll go first.
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy. Cold may be a concern.
Frezak (GM): Orcus is crouching behind a broom.
 
The Gravedigger: Radek?
The Gravedigger activates gravyvision and detects a very small amount of external light coming from the right. ''(rolled 31 perception)'' There are also some shiny things glinting amongst the bones - coins apparently dropped in with them.
Are you protected against magic?
 
Gaurav: You fool! He IS the broom!
The Gravedigger turns and marches off in the direction of the light.
Radek: Quite possibly.
 
Frezak (GM): HAH
The others follow.
Gaurav: Does the secret door look like it might be impossible for us to find if we close it? Like, is it REALLY/magically well hidden?
 
Radek: The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy.
The light turns out to be a small crack under the bottom of a door.
Apheori (GM): It's really well hidden, but since you know it's there it shouldn't be an issue.
 
No magic seems to be involved.
The door itself is locked.
Rhu closes the secret door behind us
 
Radek: Cold may be a concern.
RHU
Rhu: So: crypt.
(whispers)
It might be time for Gravyvision.
...should we knock?
The Gravedigger:
They might be a little creeped out that people want to '''leave''' the crypt.
rolling 1D20+20
 
(
The Gravedigger listens intently for anything on the other side. ''(rolled 35 perception)'' He hears voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.
11
 
)
DAWN
+20
Would you knock if you were dead?
=
 
31
RADEK
Apheori (GM): It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap.
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
Gravyvision detects light in that direction.
 
Frezak (GM): I GO TO THE LIGHT
DAWN
Unless you mean it's my light;
Am I? Oh. Cool!
Apheori (GM): And some shiny things amidst the bones.
 
Other light.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Shiny things sound important.
Guys on the other side.
Or valuable.
 
Frezak (GM): Shiny things!
RHU
I examinate.
(to Dawn)
Ganelon: Or maybe we're all magpies. I wouldn't terribly mind that, either.
Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
Gaurav: plot twist: we were magpies all along.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be coins put with the bones.
Frezak (GM): http://oglaf.com/illusionist/
GRAB
Shinies.
Gaurav: Frezak: ha ha HA
yay money!
Frezak (GM): moneymoneymoney
Gaurav: btw does the sphinx look anything like this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/121b86281db10bc66880e87180c140c2/tumblr_n3020vOjlJ1s83h8do2_1280.jpg
Frezak (GM): I'm sure it does indeed look like a scared peasant.
Gaurav: Scared?! Pretty sure that dude is just annoyed. "Not dragons AGAIN god fifth time this year"
Ganelon: "Oh. My. GOD. Fucking dragons AGAIN."
"I am so done with this."
Gaurav: "I'm moving to Egypt you only get the occasional sphinx there at least they're cute"
Frezak (GM): What, he's a teenage child?
Apheori (GM): It looks like a fluffy cat with wings.
A himalayan or something.
So what do you do?
Loot the crypt?
Frezak (GM): Any reason why not, guys?
Ganelon: Do you loot the dead?
Gaurav: oof, fluffy
Ganelon: Well, Radek is a godless sort.
He's got no objections.
Rhu: We might want to look around for anyone who might be offended and/or armed first, but then ...
Frezak (GM): Waaaait.
no.
Gravy will have to put a stop to looting this place.
I forgot what his name meant for a moment.
I was blinded by gilt.
Coins down, find a way out.
Rhu: I'm fine with that.
Gaurav: Just struck me that as a devout Hazz'ridanism, Rhu finds dead people creepy only when they don't stay in their crypts, and especially if they concern themselves with money or other baubles.
so he eyes the coins but doesn't pick 'em up when Gravy expresses his opinion
Frezak (GM): It's proffesionalism.
However.
I'm totes for killling living people and stealing their shit.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel is godless but doesn't much care about money either
Ganelon: Well yeah, of course.
Apheori (GM): And then burying them
?
Gaurav: Plus, Rhu is really happy that we seem to finally be getting out of this underground complex of dead people.
Ganelon: Weren't we all hired for that sort of ethical flexibility?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
I'll bury anyone.
Apheori (GM): So moving on, y'all look for a way out, which is to say you follow Gravy toward the faint light he saw.
Gaurav: Going to do a quick perception check around this crypt in case anyone missed anything
rolling 1d20+12
(
15
)
+12
=
27
Frezak (GM): good lord.
Gaurav: *shrugs*
Apheori (GM): It's not terribly interesting.
Gaurav: Fair enough.
Onwards!
Ganelon: FREEDOM!?
Apheori (GM): The light is a crack under a door. The door itself is locked.
What do?
Rhu: (whispers) ... should we knock?
Ganelon: What kind of lock are we talking about here?
Rhu: They might be a little creeped out that people want to _leave_ the crypt
Ganelon: Because if it's a padlock on the other side, we're in trouble.
Frezak (GM): I don't think knocking on the inside door of a locked crypt is smart.
What's the door made of?
Apheori (GM): Wood.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, that.
pfft.
Ganelon: Ah, so smashing is an option.
Frezak (GM): I want to listen to see if I can hear anything on the other side;
rolling 1D20+20
(
15
)
+20
=
35
Ganelon: But if the lock is pickable I might be able to do that.
Dave: Would you knick if you were dead?
Apheori (GM): knock
Radek: You're a zombie and you're asking us?
Apheori (GM): You hear voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.
Dave: Am I?
Oh.
Cool!
The Gravedigger: Guys on the other side.
Rhu: (to Dave) Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.
The Gravedigger: Chances are that if we knock, they'll run on account of undead hordes.
 
Rhu: Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
... do we want to tell them about ... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.
Chances are that if we knock, they'll run on account of undead hordes.
The Gravedigger: Yeah, no reason to tell them.
 
If we have to say, we were Hole'd
RHU
Rhu nods
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
The Gravedigger: Can anyone imitate a ghost?
...do we want to tell them about... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.
Rhu: Let's go say hi.
 
The Gravedigger: Or zombie or whatever?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, no reason to tell them. If we have to say, we were Hole'd.
 
Rhu nods.
 
RHU
Let's go say hi.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can anyone imitate a ghost? Or zombie or whatever?
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.
Rhu: Imitate a ghost?
 
We could set the porridge on them.
RHU
Dave: I'm a zombie.
Imitate a ghost?
Rhu: Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.
We could set the porridge on them. Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.
The Gravedigger: Send it under the door?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?
 
DAWN
I'm a zombie.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?
Rhu: Isn't there a cantrip allowing wizards to throw their voices or something?
 
Frezak (GM): Yeah, but none of us are wizards.
DAWN
Dave: Grooonk.
(sounding a bit like a pig)
Er.
Grooonk. Er.
Frezak (GM): That sounds like a pig.
 
Dave looks embarassed.
Dawn looks embarassed.
The Gravedigger: No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH
 
NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dave: Hurrung?
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH. NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH.
Ganelon: Radek's an artificer. Not quite the same thing.
 
Dave: Noom.
DAWN
Dave waggles her fingers.
Hurrung?
Gaurav: Dave is the cutest.
 
The Gravedigger: Well, someone do something.
DAWN
Greibel: You guys are all wrong
Noom.
A proper ghost noise is
 
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
Dawn waggles her fingers.
The Gravedigger: ...
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, someone do something.
 
GREIBEL
You guys are all wrong. A proper ghost noise is WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, Greibel.
Sorry, Greibel.
Dave: Wiggly woo!
 
The Gravedigger: WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
DAWN
Radek: ...Greibel, just turn into a horde of spiders and chase them out, please.
Wiggly woo!
Greibel: Oh hey, there's an idea
 
SPIDER ATTACK
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: DAMN
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
that's a good idea
 
Ganelon: Thank you.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
...Greibel, just turn into a horde of spiders and chase them out, please.
I was gonna cover myself in bone-dust and charge through.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, so
GREIBEL
Dave opens the door and peers behind it.
Oh hey, there's an idea. SPIDER ATTACK.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and goes under the door
 
Gaurav: Huh?
Dawn unlocks and opens the door a crack and peers behind it.
Dave: Spiders! Spiders!
 
Ganelon: I thought the door was locked.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and scuttles through.
Gaurav: I thought it was locked?
 
Dave runs after them.
DAWN
Frezak (GM): I tohught it was locked!
Spiders! Spiders!
Apheori (GM): It was.
 
Apparently she unlocked it somehow.
Dawn runs out after them.
Ganelon: Daaaave!
 
Gaurav: Huh. Sneaky.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Goddamit.
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
Rhu: Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
 
Gaurav: So how do the people one the other side respond to Dave+spiders?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Well, the spiders are through the door.
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.
The Gravedigger: Greibel will put himself back together eventually.
 
Apheori (GM): One of them shrieks and runs away.
 
Another just sort of stares.
INT. Temple - day
A third facepalms.
 
The Gravedigger: WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
The spiders, followed by Dawn, come out into a temple, tall, stone, and full of windows letting in various motes of sunlight, though the decorations are austere. Four people, all human, are standing around chatting - two priests, Doros and Nereem, and two townsfolk.
Apheori (GM): I guess the fourth also just stares.
 
Bear Soup Guy: There's a LOT of spiders
At the sight of the spiders, one of the townspersons shrieks and flees out the main door, slamming it in his wake.
Apheori (GM): It's a temple, four people (well, three now since one ran away). Two of them appear to be priests of some sorts.
 
Ganelon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYyO44U2BQ4
Doros falcepalms.
I imagine something close to this.
 
Rhu: (looking at Mr. (Mrs?) Facepalm) Hey!
Nereem and the other townsperson just stare.
Apheori (GM): The spiders are a huge mass of spiders.
 
And Dave's just sort of running after them.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Except if our druid was also an evil genie I think I'd have noticed by now.
(from behind the door)
Gaurav: It would explain a lot.
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
Rhu: Is this your crypt?
 
The Gravedigger: You can have it back.
Rhu pokes his way in after the spiders and the midget, and the Gravedigger comes out as well, opening the door the rest of the way. As soon as he's through, the Mouseforged disk floats out as well, trailing to catch up with Dawn.
Apheori (GM): The guy looks toward Rhu and Gravy and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit.
 
Ganelon: It would.
RHU
Hey! Is this your crypt?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You can have it back.
 
The Gravedigger waves.
The Gravedigger waves.
Apheori (GM): Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
 
Guy: Just what do you think you're doing?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
Frezak (GM): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
 
The Gravedigger: Walking our your crypt.
Nereem looks toward Rhu and the Gravedigger and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit. Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
Radek: Leaving, I would imagine.
 
The Gravedigger: *walking out
Radek follows, coming out a bit behind the others.
 
NEREEM
Just what do you think you're doing?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Walking out your crypt.
 
RADEK
Leaving, I would imagine.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Egressing.
Egressing.
Guy: You're graverobbers, are you?
 
You expect us to just let you walk out?
NEREEM
Dave: Spiders!
You're graverobbers, are you? You expect us to just let you walk out?
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height.
 
The Gravedigger stomps to be toe-to-toe with the man.
DAWN
Ganelon: Admittedly, you do kinda look like The Graverobber.
Spiders!
The Gravedigger: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
 
Dave picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in the guy's face.
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height and stomps up to be toe-to-toe with Nereem.
Dave: Spiiiideers!
 
The Gravedigger: I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I BURY PEOPLE.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.
I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD
 
Apheori (GM): The guy falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Daeś handful of Greibel.
Dawn picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in Nereem's face.
Dave's*
 
Frezak (GM): "For a handfull of Greibel"
DAWN
Ganelon: "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
Spiiiideers!
Dave: Spiders! Spiders!
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Damn aracnophobes.
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER. I BURY PEOPLE. I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD.
Apheori (GM): At this, the other non-priest also leaves, since this is apparently just a bit too much for him.
 
The other priest approaches and asks, "Okay, what were you doing in there?"
Nereem falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Dawn's handful of Greibel.
Frezak (GM): "I signed up for shrine maidens!"
 
"No-one told me about screaming horned giants"
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): "For a handfull of Greibel"
The Gravedigger: Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
 
The Gravedigger continues to eye the first priest.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
Priest 1 tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel.
 
Priest 1 curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): "I signed up for shrine maidens! No-one told me about screaming horned giants!"
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff
 
Priest 2: A hole?
DAWN
Gaurav: These priests need names.
Spiders! Spiders!
Frezak (GM): The hippie druid has got my back!
 
The Gravedigger: Hole. Capital H.
The other townsperson, who up to this point had just been hanging around watching, finally decides to leave as well, this apparently being just a bit too much for him.
Rhu walks over to the door to this room and glances out
 
The Gravedigger: A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else?
Rhu follows and checks out the door before coming back to the others.
Like a door without a frame.
 
Magic stuff.
The other priest, Doros, approaches the Gravedigger trying to look non-threatening.
Priest 2 looks the Gravedigger up and down.
 
Priest 2: Not one you dug yourself, then.
DOROS
It came out in the crypt?
Okay, what were you doing in there?
Rhu: Like the big giant tree a day south of here. Holes in the universe. Like the anvils.
 
The Gravedigger: Yep.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
Radek: Damned inconvenient things.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The door leads outside - looks like you're back in Coffle, it's late afternoon.
The Gravedigger continues to eye Nereem.
Radek: And dangerous, too.
 
Rhu: My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve.
Nereem tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel. He then curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
Hey guys? *grins* I think we're back in Coffle.
 
Priest 1 continues to rock back and forth, whimpering.
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff.
The Gravedigger: There's gold lying about in there.
 
You should take better care of it.
DOROS
Ganelon: I'm so happy with how this spider thing turned out.
A hole?
Priest 2: Yes, this is Coffle.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hole. Capital H. A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else? Like a door without a frame. Magic stuff.
 
Doros looks the Gravedigger up and down.
 
DOROS
Not one you dug yourself, then. It came out in the crypt?
 
RHU
Like the big giant tree a day south of here. Holes in the universe. Like the anvils.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yep.
 
RHU
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There's gold lying about in there. You should take better care of it.
 
RADEK
Damned inconvenient things. And dangerous, too.
 
RHU
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve. Also guys?
(he grins)
I think we're back in Coffle.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, that's great, Rhu. We don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
 
RHU
The Car! We can get out of here!
 
DOROS
Hazz'ridan, you say?
Hazz'ridan, you say?
The Gravedigger: Oh, that's great, Rhu.
 
Priest 2: So it's true, then. It's starting up again.
Nereem continues to rock back and forth on the floor, whimpering.
Rhu: Yes, Hazz'ridan. *shows him the Hazz'ridan implement I wear on a string around my neck*
 
... what's starting up again?
DOROS
(to Gravy) What's great?
So it's true, then. It's starting up again.
The Gravedigger: (to Rhu) we don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
 
Priest 2: That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known.
RHU
Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Yes, Hazz'ridan.
(he shows the priest the Hazz'ridan implement around his neck)
...what's starting up again?
 
DOROS
That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known. Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?
Rhu: The Car! We can get out of here!
 
Frezak (GM): What.
RHU
Rhu: What is an Arah?
What is an Arah?
Frezak (GM): GORRAMIT, RHU
 
Priest 2: Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
DOROS
Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Now answer the question.
Now answer the question.
Rhu: King of the sandcastle?
 
Priest 2: Who reigns?
RHU
Rhu: King of the sandcastle.
King of the sandcastle?
o.0
 
0.o
DOROS
Frezak (GM): Greibel.
Who reigns?
Rhu: 0.0!!!!!!
 
The Gravedigger: Greibel.
RHU
Rhu: It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!
King of the sandcastle.
The Gravedigger: Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.
 
Rhu: Well, I had.
Rhu stares blankly, then suddenly, excitedly, starts fishing out his notes.
The Gravedigger: Oh, you too?
 
Dave: Akrikdirin Vak?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Why does no-one tell ME about sandcastles!
Greibel. Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.
Dave: But this is Arling Tor.
 
Wait, did you say Lokshmi?
RHU
The... the... the...
(reading)
Dave gestures ineffectively, then shouts "SPIDERS!"
"It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!"
Priest 2: You are a very long way from home indeed.
Well, I had.
Rhu: Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
 
The sphinx: HUNGRY!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Yes, I suppose giant fish *would* make you hungry.
Oh, you too?
The sphinx jumps onto Amadi's head and looms overhead.
 
Frezak (GM): Amadi isn't here.
DAWN
Gaurav: Wait, Amadi's back?
Akrikdirin Vak?
Ganelon: "Ajirahd and Irundha"
 
Apheori (GM): Dave, sorry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: That's what Lokshmi said to us.
Why does no-one tell ME about sandcastles!
Rhu backs away from Dave and cat.
 
Priest 2 backs away as well.
DAWN
Ganelon: So... good on ya for remembering that.
But this is Arling Tor.
Dave shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.
Wait, did you say Lokshmi? The... the... the...
Rhu: So. Who are you guys? And what's starting again?
 
The Gravedigger: Bad stuff.
Dawn gestures ineffectively, then shouts:
Rhu: Yes, but ... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff?
 
Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
DAWN
Priest 2: I am Doros, and that is Nereem (pointing to the spider-covered quivering ball).
SPIDERS!
The Gravedigger: Hrmph.
 
Doros: We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.
RHU
Rhu: Ah. Hazz'ridan the Ending asked me to beat him over the head at some point, but I think he was joking.
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
Doros: Beat Kyrule over the head.
 
Rhu: These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser elf than me.
DOROS
Doros: Why am I not surprised?
You are a very long way from home indeed.
Apheori (GM): This guy isn't an elf.
 
Gaurav: Oh? Human?
SPHINX
Apheori (GM): Right.
HUNGRY!
Folks on this world seem to be mostly human.
 
Some elves.
RHU
Gaurav: Was the guy in the hologram video also human, then
Yes, I suppose giant fish ''would'' make you hungry.
?
 
Apheori (GM): He was an elf.
The sphinx jumps onto Dawn's head and looms in Rhu's direction.
I just decided.
 
The sphinx walks over to the other priest and eats a spider.
Rhu backs away from Dawn and the sphinx. Doros steps away from them as well.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have an archive/library?
 
The Gravedigger: BAD SPHINX.
Dawn shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.
SPIT.
 
NO EATING THE DRUID
RHU
The sphinx grins at Gravy.
So. Who are you guys? And what's starting again?
Frezak (GM): I CHARGE THE SPHINX
 
Rhu takes up a defensive position to Gravy's left
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Have to say.
Bad stuff.
I love the Rhuvian support.
 
Apheori (GM): Roll something.
RHU
Frezak (GM):
Yes, but... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff? Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
rolling 1D20+9+1
 
(
DOROS
1
I am Doros, and that...
)
(he points to the spider-covered quivering ball)
+9+1
Is Nereem. We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.
=
 
11
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Cat.... AC?
Hrmph.
GORRAM
 
Gaurav: Someone's got to watch the flank.
RHU
oof
Ah. Hazz'ridan the Ending asked me to beat him over the head at some point, but I think he was joking.
Frezak (GM): I'm surprisingly bad at hitting things.
 
Ganelon: I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
DOROS
Apheori (GM): You wind up tripping over it instead of attacking it.
(skeptically)
Frezak (GM): GRAAAGH
Beat Kyrule over the head.
I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT
 
Apheori (GM): The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily.
RHU
He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser man than me.
Frezak (GM): You know, Radek?
 
I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Doros rolls his eyes.
Ganelon: I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
 
Frezak (GM): I DONT CARE.
DOROS
I HATE IT.
Why am I not surprised?
The Gravedigger: Can you guys exorcise a cat?
 
As in, banish the cat?
The sphinx walks over to Nereem and eats a spider.
Doros: I do not know.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
BAD SPHINX. SPIT. NO EATING THE DRUID
 
The sphinx grins at the Gravedigger.
 
The Gravedigger charges the sphinx.
 
Rhu readies his maul.
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
 
The Gravedigger takes a mighty swing, but winds up tripping over the sphinx instead of attacking it. ''(rolled 11 attack (natural 1))''
 
The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily. He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): GRAAAGH. I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT.
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): You know, Radek? I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I DONT CARE. I HATE IT.
 
The Gravedigger picks himself up slowly, and then very deliberately turns back to Doros.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you guys exorcise a cat? As in, banish the cat?
 
RHU
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.
 
DOROS
I do not know.  
(addressing the sphinx)
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?
Radek: Tormenting us.
 
The sphinx: Hungry.
RADEK
Rhu: It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.
Tormenting us.
The Gravedigger: Holy water?
 
Orbital cannon?
SPHINX
Vorpal blade?
Hungry.
Radek: If only.
 
Dave: You mean when he behaves well. All behaviour is behaving.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Neutron bomb?
Holy water? Orbital cannon? Vorpal blade?
Dave: Is that...
 
...the sky?
RADEK
Dave walks over to a window and stares out.
If only.
Radek: Actually I might be able to manage that last one.
 
The Gravedigger: Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We have to go back.
Neutron bomb?
ANd get the One True Shovel.
 
Radek: I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
RADEK
Rhu: It is possible that I just mean behaving, as compared to chaotically -- sky?
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.
Radek: Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel?
 
Perhaps.
DAWN
But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.
It is behaving. Always.
The Gravedigger: What do you need to do this?
 
How can I help?
Dawn walks over to a window and stares out in amazement.
Gaurav: But a man's reach should exceed his grasp / or what's a heaven for
 
Well, elf.
DAWN
Doros: You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
Is that... the sky?
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem
 
The Gravedigger: What if we just cut off it's legs?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Put it in a hole?
Radek. We have to go back. And get the One True Shovel.
Nereem: Oh the humanity.
 
The Gravedigger: Hey, you okay, Greibel?
RADEK
Nereem collapses under the now localised weight.
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
Greibel: HONK!
 
No wait, that's not right
RADEK
A-okay, Cap'n!
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel? Perhaps. But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.
Rhu: Ah. Well. That settles the killing-the-sphinx question, I guess.
 
Doros: (to the sphinx) Stories, is it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: How do we make it leave?
What do you need to do this? How can I help?
Doros: How did you make it come?
 
The sphinx: Stories.
DOROS
The Gravedigger: Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps a pain.
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
*keeps being a pain
 
Rhu: I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Speaking of which ...
What if we just cut off its legs? Put it in a hole?
Ganelon: Are you about to go crazy and/or attack everybody?
 
Frezak (GM): Who?
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem.
Rhu tells the sphinx a long story about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by
 
Gaurav: no, just coming up with a story to tell :)
NEREEM
Ganelon: Rhu.
Oh the humanity.
Rhu keeps his distance from the sphinx as he tells this story, though
 
Doros: How did you summon the sphinx?
Nereem collapses under the suddenly consolidated weight.
Rhu: He followed me. I .. ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples.
 
And when i came back, he showed up as well.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm.
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
That's all I know.
 
Doros: What did you offer it?
GREIBEL
Rhu thinks
HONK!
Rhu: Er
No wait, that's not right. A-okay, Cap'n!
Apheori (GM): Is greibel still sitting on the other priest? Because if so, Doros tells him to pliease get off.
 
Rhu: I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
RHU
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized
Ah. Well. That settles the killing-the-sphinx question, I guess.
 
DOROS
(to the sphinx)
Stories, is it?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
How do we make it leave?
 
DOROS
How did you make it come?
 
SPHINX
Stories.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps being a pain.
 
RHU
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody. Speaking of which...
 
Rhu draws the sphinx away from the others with another story, this one a long tale about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by. He keeps his distance from the sphinx as best he can in the doing.
 
Doros pulls Greibel up off of Nereem.
 
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized.
 
Doros ignores him and just picks up Nereem and sets him on his feet as well, and then sends him into the back to sort himself out.
 
Nereem shuffles off uncertainly, glancing back at Greibel in fear.
 
DOROS
How did you summon the sphinx?
 
RHU
He followed me. I... ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples. And when I came back, he showed up as well. And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm. That's all I know.
 
DOROS
What did you offer it?
 
Rhu thinks.
 
RHU
Er. I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
 
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Ganelon: It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!
 
Doros: You may have a problem.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!
Rhu: I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through ... Arah, was it? ... all the way back here!
 
Doros: Who would?
DOROS
Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't.
You may have a problem.
But nor do people talk to them.
 
Add one, and it seems you may get the oter.
RHU
Rhu: ... you're saying we can *bore* it into leaving?
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through... Arah, was it? ...all the way back here!
Doros: It's possible.
 
But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
DOROS
Ganelon: "Everyone, quickly!"
Who would? Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't. But nor do people talk to them. Add one, and it seems you may get the other.
"Do nothing of interest!"
 
Frezak (GM): HIDE IN A HOLE
RHU
Rhu: You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
...you're saying we can ''bore'' it into leaving?
 
DOROS
It's possible. But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
 
'''''Ganelon (Radek)''': "Everyone, quickly! Do nothing of interest!"
 
'''''Frezak (Gravy)''': HIDE IN A HOLE.
 
RHU
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
 
Doros snorts.
Doros snorts.
Doros then walks over to Nereem, picks him up and sets him on his feet, and sends him into the back to sort himself out.
 
Rhu: Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
RHU
(that was to the priests)
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
Doros: Which holes?
 
Radek: The ones threatening to destroy this plane.
DOROS
Doros: It isn't just this plane.
Which holes?
Radek: Indeed, though the one we're currently occupying still happens to be a more immediate concern.
 
Rhu: Other planes are on their own at this pint.
RADEK
point*
The ones threatening to destroy this plane.
Doros: When one falls, it takes those closest with it.
 
Rhu: So: that would be a no?
DOROS
Doros: Ask your lord, who so despises holes.
It isn't just this plane.
Rhu: He doesn't know. We're trying to work it out with his help.
 
Doros: Then ask her.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): He motions toward Dave, who is still staring at the clouds in awe.
Indeed, though the one we're currently occupying still happens to be a more immediate concern.
Rhu: Ask her what?
 
Doros: What happened on Sarathi.
RHU
Rhu: ... did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
Other planes are on their own at this point.
Apheori (GM): You realise that space has sort of changed. It is as though everything is thinner, darker - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, within the bubble of the temple.
 
Dave looks back as well, seeing the change, reminding you that it happened, though you're not sure when.
DOROS
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
When one falls, it takes those closest with it.
Ganelon: I don't go to church, so who knows?
 
Doros: She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
RHU
Frezak (GM): I'll... uh.... Clean my shovel >.>
So... that would be a no?
Dave: Twins?
 
DOROS
Ask your lord, who so despises holes.
 
RHU
He doesn't know. We're trying to work it out with his help.
 
DOROS
(motioning toward Dawn, who is still staring at the clouds in awe)
Then ask her.
 
RHU
Ask her what?
 
DOROS
What happened on Sarathi.
 
All at once, the space seems to change. It is as though everything is thinner, darker, unreal - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, still seeing, within the bubble of the temple.
 
Dawn looks back as well, seeing the change, through her very presense reminding the others that it happened, though the notion of when is already gone.
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I don't go to church, so who knows?
 
While all of this is going on, the Gravedigger cleans his shovel.
 
RHU
...did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
 
DOROS
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
 
DAWN
Twins?
 
The sphinx growls lowly.
The sphinx growls lowly.
Rhu: She? You mean Dave?
 
And ... Sarathi De?
RHU
Wha?
She? You mean Dave? And... Sarathi De? Wha?
Doros: It was a game she played growing up.
 
DOROS
It was a game she played growing up.
(to Dawn)
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
Rhu: Huh.
 
Dave: I don't remember anything.
RHU
Radek: ...Who are you, really?
Huh.
Ganelon: That being to Doros.
 
Frezak (GM): I AM YOUR FATHER
DAWN
The guy in the holograms was Future Radek
I don't remember anything.
Bear Soup Guy: I am the heavens, I am the water
 
Doros: I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may speak.
RADEK
Radek grumbles to himself. "...Gods."
(to Doros)
Doros: But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
...Who are you, really?
Bear Soup Guy: Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen
 
Dave: Foot fungus.
DOROS
Apheori (GM): Guys. do something.
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may converse now. But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
Frezak (GM): I have notihng to contribute.
 
Rhu: I'm just confused.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Blargh.
(grumbling to himself)
Frezak (GM): Apparently Dave is a god;
...Gods.
Radek: So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't.
 
Gaurav: or played one as a kid.
DAWN
Radek: We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?
(cheerfully)
Doros: Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Foot fungus.
Gaurav: to translate the madness?
 
The Gravedigger: I fyou're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything.
Rhu just stands there looking confused.
I'm going to go look for a pub.
 
Ganelon: More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
The Gravedigger continues to clean his shovel.
 
Greibel smiles helpfully.
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Apparently Dave is a god.
 
RADEK
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't. We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?
 
DOROS
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
 
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): To translate the madness?
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(putting his shovel away)
If you're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything. I'm going to go look for a pub.
 
The Gravedigger trudges out.
The Gravedigger trudges out.
Doros: Amadi won't translate.
 
She should, but she won't.
DOROS
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have.
Amadi won't translate. She should, but she won't.
They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have. They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.
Rhu: Broken, yes, that makes sense.
 
Radek: I fix machines, not minds.
RHU
Doros: They have the power to mend the universe.
Broken, yes, that makes sense.
It is who they were. Who they will be.
 
Rhu: Oh hello.
RADEK
Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
I fix machines, not minds.
So: we're collecting weirdos.
 
We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.
DOROS
Dave: It won't work.
They have the power to mend the universe. It is who they were. Who they will be.
It can't work.
 
It's gone.
RHU
Rhu: What's gone?
Oh hello. Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
Dave: Why are you in a man?
So. We're collecting weirdos. We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.
Doros: I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
 
Frezak (GM): You dirty, dirty boy.
DAWN
Apheori (GM): Doros reaches out to touch her face, but then stops.
It won't work. It can't work. It's gone.
And then everything goes back to normal and he seems to sag.
 
Gaurav: ... Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend ...
RHU
Rhu: Woah! What was that?
What's gone?
Doros: I'm sorry. I need to rest.
 
Rhu: Are you okay?
Dawn suddenly walks up to Doros and eyes him curiously.
Doros nods, and says, "Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again. Excuse me." He heads toward one of the back rooms.
 
Rhu: Huh.
DAWN
I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect
Why are you in a man?
Apheori (GM) stares after him forlornly.
 
Dave stares after him forlornly.
Doros stares at her for a long moment, not responding. Then his expression turns to concern, and he reaches out to touch Dawn's face, but then stops.
Apheori (GM): Whoops.
 
Radek: We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
DOROS
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
Apheori (GM): Hah.
 
Quite.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): You dirty, dirty boy.
Radek: Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
 
Ganelon: (Very probably session ending words there)
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): ...Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend...
Gaurav: Just the two, no?
 
Ganelon: Well yeah, just two.
Suddenly everything goes back to normal. The sun shines in once more like anything. Reality takes on a solid sheen. Time... is time once more.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have a library or soemthing?
 
Dave: (absently) She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
Doros seems to sag.
Apheori (GM): Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
 
Ganelon: Good question.
RHU
I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
Woah! What was that?
Frezak (GM): ...
 
A warmouse body, right?
DOROS
Gaurav: YES
I'm sorry. I need to rest.
Ganelon: Yeah, basically.
 
Gaurav: Or we could find a normal mouse
RHU
and kill it
Are you okay?
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
 
Gaurav: and take its body
DOROS
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
(he nods)
Ganelon: For now I'll just drag it around, though.
Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again.
It is walking, right?
Excuse me.
Apheori (GM): It's on a disk.
 
Ganelon: Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
Doros heads toward one of the back rooms as well.
Frezak (GM): I thought it was still disked.
 
Ganelon: Right.
RHU
But can I make it walk?
Huh. I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect.
Apheori (GM): It doesn't seem to be awake.
 
Ganelon: Hm. That's abnormal.
Dawn stares after him forlornly.
Gaurav: I don't remember a library in town earlier, but I don't mind looking for one now.
 
Frezak (GM): MR MOUSIE
DAWN
Radekradekradek SAVE HIM
(absently)
Ganelon: But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that.
She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
Frezak (GM): There's a College.
 
Ganelon: They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body.
RADEK
Gaurav: oh, yes! a college! forgot about that.
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
Ganelon: Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.
 
Frezak (GM): And THEY might know about Warforged, too.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot.
Since it's a magical construct.
 
Apheori (GM): You don't know if there is a library or not, but you expect there probably would be. It's decently large.
RADEK
Ask around.
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
Frezak (GM): A guard told us about it.
 
I sort of assumed that we learnt where it was by magic >.>
The party heads out.
Apheori (GM): The college probably has one of its own, but perhaps it's all there is.
 
Gaurav: Ask one of the hundreds of thousands of town guards milling around.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
Apheori (GM): What Gaurav said.
 
Frezak (GM): I reach out and acquire a guard.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Good question. I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
And ask him where the College is.
 
Apheori (GM): He hits you with his weapon thingy.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): ...A warmouse body, right?
Frezak (GM): I can probably just step into the road, close my, eyes, and touch at least three guards.
 
What?
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Yeah, basically.
Apheori (GM): He didn't appreciate being acquired.
 
Frezak (GM): I didn't pick him up!
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): WARMOUSE
I acquired his attention!
 
Apheori (GM): Reaching out?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Frezak (GM): At worst, poked him!
 
Apheori (GM): Sounds like a grab to me.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): For now I'll just drag it around, though. It is walking, right? Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
And he smacked you as a reflex.
 
Gaurav: Slip him some gold coins, boom, acquired
'''''Apheori (GM)''': It's on a disk. It doesn't seem to be awake.
Frezak (GM): I did not grab him!
 
I poked him!
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Hm. That's abnormal.
Apheori (GM): Okay, fine.
 
He tells you it's down there in some direction.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): MR MOUSIE. Radekradekradek SAVE HIM.
Frezak (GM): Is he as vague as you?
 
Apheori (GM): The directions are sound.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that. They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body. Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.
Frezak (GM): Or is that just you?
 
Right.
 
Apheori (GM): That
EXT. Coffle temple district - day
s me.
 
Gaurav: We should take down the address to the temple of Kyrule
It's a street, there are temples around, and, for whatever reason, entirely too many guards are also milling about.
in case we need to spend more time with Dave's boyfriend
 
Ganelon: Probably her ex, really.
The Gravedigger reaches out and acquires a guard.
Frezak (GM): TOT HE COLLEGE
 
Apheori (GM): What about Rorik?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Oh, right.
Where is the college?
Sure.
 
Ganelon: They don't need to follow me.
The guard hits the Gravedigger with his weapon. It doesn't actually do any damage.
Frezak (GM): We might get some lewt
 
We're not in any rush.
GUARD
Apheori (GM): Does Radek go there, then? Does anyone follow?
Er, sorry. Reflex. It's over down there...
Or do you want to call it a night now?
 
Frezak (GM): I dunno.
The guard gives directions to the exact opposite side of town.
How are you guys for time?
 
Gaurav: I'm okay with calling it or going on.
Radek also asks about Rorik's weaponshop. Due to initially calling him Rurik there is a bit of confusion, but then they get directions to that as well. It turns out to be on the way to the college.
Ganelon: Seems a nice place to stop
 
Gaurav: I've been slow in resopnding because I'm on the phone with my sis, but that wil lend at some point.
They start walking in the indicated direction.
Ganelon: It's late-ish and people are going to start scrabbling for my attention.
 
Frezak (GM): Scrabbling!
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: Mid-afternoon here, I could conceivably keep up for a few hours, but yeah, people will eventually SCRABBLE for my attention as well
Is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day?
Gaurav: nobody wants me! i am scrabble free.
 
Frezak (GM): No-one gives a damn about my attention for... uh... Several days.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: They won't ask to play Scrabble with me, though I would accept if they did.
It's pretty much what I expected. This must be what being Greibel is like.
Apheori (GM): So what are we doing?
 
ARE WE CONTINUING AND CAN I TORMENT YOU?
Greibel tries walking on his hands.
Frezak (GM): I have about an hour.
 
I'd just like to see what we can get out of Rurik.
RADEK
Gaurav: Let's keep going?
Well, at least it felt productive.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Frezak (GM): Before he is defeated by a snowdrift.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Hazz will talk to Rhu on the way.
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
Gaurav: yay!
 
Apheori (GM): And I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll be right back.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Loooo
Study it, of course. Replicate it, if I can manage.
Apheori (GM): You may talk amongst yourselves as you walk to the weaponshop.
 
Yes, loo.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: ...
If we get into a fight, you're in first.
is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day
 
Frezak (GM): RHu has a +1 shirt?
RADEK
Anyone else have +1 gear?
It didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
The Gravedigger: It's pretty much what I expected.
 
THis must be what being Greibel is like.
On the way, Hazz'ridan talks to Rhu.
Greibel tried walking on his hands
 
Greibel tries*
HAZZ'RIDAN
Frezak (GM): Turn to monkeys.
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
Rhu: It's not a +1 shirt, it's a cloth armour that gives me +1 to ... something
''This is new, and an interesting twist. They hid it so well, those two, but ever as they were not as they seemed, this, of all things betrays them. You do not even know what you witnessed, my precious eyes and ears, but it doesn't matter, for witness it you did.
defense or something
''This is all so very interesting.
Frezak (GM): Armour of Faith?
 
You get extra AC for... not using armour.
To Rhu, it almost resembles Radek's mutterings. There's more to it, too, other layers beneath the main body, things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees. It actually seems rather optimistic, though Rhu doesn't understand most of it.
Gaurav: I think I get +1 from the Armour, and then I get some additional bonus from Armour of Faith
 
sorry, I'm not really interested in my stats. If you're curious I could go check.
Rhu nods and pretends to understand.
Frezak (GM): I just want to know whether you magic shizzle :P
 
Radek: Well, at least it felt productive.
RHU
The Gravedigger: What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
Gaurav: Armor of Faith gives me +3. It doesn't look like the cloth armour gives me anything by itself. No magic in sight.
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees - maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
Radek: Study it, of course. Replicate it, if I can manage.
 
The Gravedigger: If we get into a fight.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're in first.
Write down the good bits from the voices in your head.
Radek: Though it didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
 
Gaurav: Rhu should get the inviciorb. He can miss all the attacks he likes if nobody can hurt him!
RHU
Frezak (GM): I'm the one that keeps missing!
(To Rhu): So Hazz tells you that this is new, Kyrule is not what he seems, and neither is Eapherod. This is all very interesting.
(To Rhu): Basically it resembles Radek's mutterings in a way and you don't understand most of it.
Ganelon: Everyone wants my awesome artifact!
(From Gaurav): *nods and pretends to understand*
Frezak (GM): Being invincible is nice.
Rhu: Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
(To Rhu): With things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees.
(To Rhu): It actually seems rather optimistic, though. Somehow.
The Gravedigger: Write down the good bits from the voices in your head.
Rhu: He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees -- maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
He seems .. happy. Optimistic. Things are looking up in Hazz'ristan.
He seems... happy. Optimistic.
The Gravedigger: That sounds bad >.>
 
Your god rarely heralds good things for us.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What with his domain being... non-progression.
That sounds bad. Your god rarely heralds good things for us. What with his domain being... non-progression.
Rhu: What about the time he saved us at the pool?
 
He's mostly been good for us, I think.
RHU
The Gravedigger: He did?
What about the time he saved us at the pool? He's mostly been good for us, I think.
Eh.
 
Gaurav: But then, I suppose Rhu would.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: He cured our madness before we all went into the pool after Azariphale.
He did? Eh.
The Gravedigger: Right.
 
I'lll.. uh.. think on that.
RHU
He cured our madness before we all went into the pool after Azariphale.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right. I'll... uh... think on that.
 
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.
The Gravedigger: Let's... uh... get some money?
 
Radek: Yes, let's.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Where are we heading?
Let's... uh... get some money?
Dave: To our respective dooms.
 
The Gravedigger: The weaponmaker guy.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): You get to the shop.
Yes, let's.
 
RHU
Where are we heading?
 
DAWN
To our respective dooms.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The weaponmaker guy.
 
 
INT. Rorik and Sons weapon shop - evening
 
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.
Rhu: (to Dave) How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
 
Frezak (GM): I'll just stand behind the fat guy and lean over him.
The Gravedigger stands behind the fat guy and leans over him. The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
Ganelon: Let me go look up what he offered us.
 
Frezak (GM): And catch Rurik's attention.
When Rorik looks up as well, the Gravedigger then indicates Radek.
And then direct him to the scienceman.
 
Dave: What? No. That wasn't the priest.
RADEK
Ganelon: 500 for the blueprints, he said.
Good day, Rorik.
But that might have just been the explosives.
 
Apheori (GM): The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
RORIK
Ganelon: Price of the explosives, rather.
Ah, hello! Hello! You have what I need? I have what you need.
Frezak (GM): I'll ignore the fat guy.
 
Ganelon: ...Yeah. These blueprints are getting us a crate of explosives that could put a hole in the planet, according to miss DM here.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): He wanted to straight trade blueprints for explosives.
Right here!
Ganelon: Well, when assembled.
 
Radek: Good day, Rorik.
Radek produces blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled.
Apheori (GM): Please don't blow up the planet.
 
Ganelon: Don't worry, I still need the planet.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Possibly annotated! There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
I'll use these materials semi-responsibly, I promise.
 
Frezak (GM): Well, some of it.
They make the trade - box of explosive parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints. Rorik seems quite pleased.  
Rorik: Ah, hello! Hello!
 
You have what I need?
RHU
I have what you need.
(to Dawn)
Gaurav: No point wasting planet.
How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
Radek: Right here!
 
Ganelon: I produce blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled!
DAWN
Possibly annotated!
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
Apheori (GM): You make the trade - box of parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints.
 
Ganelon: There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
Gaurav: Signed by the one and only Radek.
 
Apheori (GM): The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
RORIK
XD
(looking over the blueprints)
Gaurav: Wasn't there something about chickens in our dream?
Excellent.
Apheori (GM): Rorik looks them over and nods and lays them out on a workbench.
 
He also asks that you please let him know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness; he's very interested.
The fat guy then turns to Dawn and starts arguing at her.  
Frezak (GM): I'm sure he'll find out!
 
Apheori (GM): Very interested, but not really paying you any mind at all anymore.
He tells her about how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.  
Radek: Gladly!
 
Ganelon: That's okay, I've already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in my hands.
She tells him about how the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
Apheori (GM): Men of like minds, eh?
 
Ganelon: And to think!
He tells her about how preposterous that is, and how she wouldn't dare; he's too important for this.
I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
 
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
She tells him about how muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
Frezak (GM): Is there a way you can use the artifact to create an external bubble?
 
TO contain an explosion?
He nods and lays them out on a workbench.
Ganelon: But if there's any limit to its shielding potential I probably don't want to test that.
 
Frezak (GM): And NOT nuke everything else?
RORIK
Gaurav: How would we test such a bubble?
(sitting down)
Frezak (GM): By putting a bomb in it!
Do let me know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness. I do say I'm very interested.
Ganelon: (Honestly, Apheori, I just said that to scare you. I don't have plans to abuse this.)
 
Apheori (GM): That sounds like it was exactly what the research the uunderground folks were doing on it was.
He says this as he's already scribbling plans off the original blueprints on another sheet, and marking off bits of the blueprints.
The answer would be yes, but they didn't go into much detail about how
 
.
RADEK
Ganelon: (I might make plans to abuse it, but I'm a pretty nice player.)
Gladly!
Apheori (GM): Don't worry. Even if you do abuse it, this setting is abuse.
 
Ganelon: It's fun!
Radek has already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in his hands as he heads out.
It's easy to see why you like it.
 
Frezak (GM): I'm regretting picking a Warden.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): And to think! I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
Gaurav: it's not like blowing up reality is going to affect reality all that much around these parts
 
might be it stabler, even
RHU
Frezak (GM): We could blow up the Realm of the Dead.
Dave! We should get a mov-
ANd get rid of the cat
 
Apheori (GM): I'd like to see that.
The Gravedigger picks up Dawn and walks out.
It would not end well, but it might be amusing.
 
Gaurav: I would not like to see that, unless I'm safely in another universe far, far away.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Never mind.
You can leave the shop or you can watch Dave get into an argument with the fat guy.
 
CHOOSE.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Why is Dave talking to the fat guy?
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.
Ganelon: Tough call.
 
Apheori (GM): He cornered her when Rorik quit paying any attention to him.
Radek looks positively radiant, and possibly a little creepy as a result.
Gaurav: Dyuknow what, sticking close to Gravy has been a good move all day today. Where he goes, I go.
</screenplay>
Does she still have Devourer with her?
 
Frezak (GM): I'll just lean over the fat guy, pick up Dave, and walk off.
{{holes nav
Apheori (GM): He's telling here how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
|previous=Holes/Session 15
She's tell him that the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
|next=Holes/Session 17
...now read that with less typos.
}}
So then he's telling her that that's preposterous and how she wouldn't dare and how he's too important for this.
Ganelon: Two new additions to my journal:
Energy-Shielding Artifact
Crate of Inert Explosives (Planetary Hole Sized)
Apheori (GM): So then she's telling him that muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
Frezak (GM): Picking up Dave and walking out.
Rhu: Dave! We should get a mov-- never mind.
Apheori (GM): Good move.
Frezak (GM): It's the move I tried earlier >.>
Apheori (GM): Agh.
Frezak (GM): To the College!
Apheori (GM): This thing makes it entirely too easy to miss lines.
Radek: Marvelous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.
Frezak (GM): Except not, because I have to pootle off to bed.
Rhu: So where are we heading now?
Apheori (GM): Well, that works. Everyone's in one place and stuff.
Frezak (GM): And Gravy hopes Radek won't tell the party about his little lapse.
Ganelon: He's not likely to get drunk and leak secrets, so you're probably good.
Frezak (GM): Brill.
Apheori (GM): That was an awesome lapse.
Frezak (GM): Well, at least /I/ got some serious character development!
Bear Soup Guy: Shovel development
Frezak (GM): Best kind.
Bear Soup Guy: To Frezak's bed
Apheori (GM): We're all piling in.
Gaurav: Hope you don't mind.
Bear Soup Guy: It'll be nice and warm
Gaurav: As long as BSG doesn't turn into a swarm of spiders.
Bear Soup Guy: No spiders but I can't promise there won't be stuffed animals
Apheori (GM): You know, sooner or later you will get thrown out of something for general disruption.
Despite how everyone has just put up with you so far...
Ganelon: So I probably shouldn't push an agenda wherein we incite the guards, knock 'em out, and steal their magic stuff?
Apheori (GM): Well, you could, but it may not end well.
Gaurav: We should build an army
and conquer the lands beyond the Holes
raise* an army
Ganelon: I'll think up some other "get a lot of magic dust" schemes that don't put us at risk of being swarmed by a mob of constables.
Apheori (GM): Good plan.
Bear Soup Guy: Of course swarms of constables are exciting too
Ganelon gasps.
Ganelon: That's it!
Greibel turns into a swarm of constables so that people think the situation is being handled and they don't need to step in and help!
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: You're a genius, BSG!
And that magic bong is as good as ours!
Bear Soup Guy: Quickly! To Bong Mountain!
Magic!
</pre>

Latest revision as of 03:26, 1 March 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 16 (Overview)
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
The walls groan under structural strain, then return to silence.
The party is loitering around the presentation room. Radek runs down through the list of projects he found that the underground organisation had been working on: an investigation into the rifts, research on a shielding artifact, something about mutant birds, and a project about talking to the dead.
Frezak (Gravy): We need to find out how Greibel got here. By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly. Unless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Apheori (GM): Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Frezak (Gravy): Well, bugger.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Always stoned. He's a floating pot-smoke apparition.
RHU
"Speaking with the dead": well, that thing is from the City of the Dead...
(he points at sphinx)
Pretty easy to speak to the dead if you can teleport there.
The sphinx licks itself emphatically.
RADEK
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.
Radek checks the door for a map, and is disappointed to find that this complex apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
Ganelon (Radek): Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them. Ganelon (Radek): "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"
Ganelon (Radek): I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.
DAWN
(counting the seats in the room)
Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Something's missing.
RADEK
What?
RHU
What?
Rhu looks around. (rolled 18 perception)
The Gravedigger looks about as well. (rolled 23 perception) There seems to be something off with the number of seats and the door, but it's unclear what.
DAWN
I don't know.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's the seats. And the door.
Rhu counts the seats. He comes up with 47.
Radek goes to check out the door. He finds no label for the room, but the place where a label should be. (rolled 25 perception) It's a bit like someone stole the sign.
The walls creak ominously.
RADEK
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave? There should be one here.
DAWN
One? Or two? On the door, and by the door.
Dawn walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.
RHU
By the door?
DAWN
Here.
The Gravedigger smacks the tapped area.
RHU
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
Radek detects magic, as though it had been touched by magic at some point in the past. (rolled 24 arcana)
The Gravedigger punches the magic.
The residual magic disperses.
GREIBEL
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
The porridge hops around the room merrily
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Rhu backs away from the blood-stained Amadi.
RHU
(to Dawn)
why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
DAWN
(as though reading, though there's nothing there)
Max occupancy 47 persons. The space is there where it should be.
There's a squawk from somewhere down the corridor. To Greibel, it sounds like a dying horse. To the Gravedigger, it sounds like an angry duck... and then like a horse dying. (rolled 25 nature)
Greibel perks up.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
A DYING DUCK-HORSE.
The Gravedigger charges down the hall.
Rhu runs out after Gravy, his maul drawn.
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse.
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large. The blood in her hair isn't drying.
Dawn frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy as well, along with Radek.
Meanwhile, in the presentation room, there is a horrible horking noise as the sphinx runs into the porridge.
Rhu comes back to look and watch, before heading after the others after all a moment later.
GREIBEL
Oik!
Greibel goes over to try to separate them, but somehow they've become tangled. Amadi skips down to help.
GREIBEL
Mmm.
Greibel and Amadi have a go at untangling them. (rolled 2 dexterity, 20 to assist) Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
The horrible noises cease and the sphinx flees out into the corridor as well.
Amadi giggles.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well.
GREIBEL
(to Amadi)
Well, not to point out the obvious but... how'd you get all bloodied up?
AMADI
How did I what?
The porridge gloops.
GREIBEL
Mmm. Right.
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad. Then she shrugs and pets the porridge.
The porridge rumbles.


INT. Random office - underground complex
The Gravedigger stops at the door of the room the noise apparently came from and looks inside. There's a desk, some chairs, and a deformed skeleton inside.
Everything is quiet now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HELLO?
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
The sphinx catches up and runs inside.
The Gravedigger spots a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It's not moving. He goes to check on it, and then finds the sphinx on top of it as he rounds the desk.
Radek and Dawn enter and just watch.
Checking for vital signs, the Gravedigger winds up with sphinx vital signs.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
The Gravedigger reaches out to move the sphinx and it jumps off. Checking again, he finds the duckmoose has too many legs and is not entirely alive.
Rhu catches up and comes in as well.
RHU
...yeah... okay... I don't know what I was expecting. But that's not far off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can we leave yet?
RADEK
Time to leave, yes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Please.
DAWN
Okay.
RHU
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
So... head of a duck, body of a moose? That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
The Gravedigger turns back to give the thing another look, just to be humour him instead. (rolled 26 nature)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The duck-moose hybrid... Is not natural.
RADEK
It might have been a test subject.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe. I hope I don't turn into a duck.
RHU
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah.
DAWN
Would you turn into a duck? Does that even happen?
RADEK
I wouldn't discount anything.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I dunno. But this moose got ducked. I don't want to be ducked.
Ganelon (Radek): We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.


INT. Presentation room - underground complex
AMADI
What time is it?
GREIBEL
Uhrm.
AMADI
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
GREIBEL
Your hair is... very unique. It's nice.
AMADI
Thanks!
GREIBEL
I don't have a mirror but uh... I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...
AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.
GREIBEL
The sign on... was that there before?
Greibel walks over to read the sign. (rolled 8 reality) It looks like a map, but it shimmers too much to make out details.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.
AMADI
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...
Greibel tries to take the map off the door, but his fingers pass right through it.
GREIBEL
Oh, bugger all.
(To Amadi)
What does this say?
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it.
AMADI
Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently.
Amadi taps a spot on the thingy.
GREIBEL
So where are we on this guide?
Rhu comes back inside and then tries to figure out what they're looking at. The Gravedigger pushes his way in as well, Radek and Dawn following.
Amadi re-closes the door and points again.
RHU
(to Greibel)
It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?
DAWN
How do you know it isn't a proper creature?
GREIBEL
Hold on, we found a map, check it out.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well there goes my plan.
The others see no map. Not even a sign.
RHU
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
GREIBEL
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
RADEK
...Wrong, but continue.
The sphinx nuzzles Radek's hand.
SPHINX
Hungry.
RHU
(to Dawn)
Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is? It doesn't make sense.
DAWN
Why not? What if the head and body belong to it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It doesn't. Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease. Its a moose with a duck's head. Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
DAWN
The disease did it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head. Yes.
RHU
The disease might have done it. That's true.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go get out of here. Tis place is falling apart.
RADEK
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
SPHINX
Hungry.
RHU
Agreed. Let's go!
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
RADEK
I have no time to tell stories!
The Gravedigger rolls the Mouseforged back onto Dawn's floating disk, and picks up Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
ONWARDS.
Dawn picks up the sphinx.
AMADI
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
Amadi points to something on the sign.
RHU
Does what look like a rabbit? ...the wall?
GREIBEL
Hmmmm. Could be. How strange.
RHU
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat.
AMADI
Mmm, I don't think we should follow the sphinx...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right hand rule! Less talky, more walky rightwards! Come on, people! Out the deathtrap!
Amadi and Greibel are still looking at the sign by the door, so the Gravedigger puts down Radek and picks them up instead.
GREIBEL
Oof.
AMADI
Wheeee.
The Gravedigger heads out. Radek and Rhu follow.
GREIBEL
(to Amadi)
So I guess we're not following the map.


INT. Corridors - underground complex.
The Gravedigger follows the right-hand rule, looking for an exit.
Dawn wanders off in another direction entirely.
The Gravedigger ignores her.
RHU
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
AMADI
She's full of holes! Maybe we'll fall down and find the white rabbit!
GREIBEL
Rabbits are nice!
RHU
Rabbits eat everything. They're pests.
GREIBEL
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
After a moment, Dawn turns back and re-follows the others.
They get lost, but keep going.


INT. Room - underground complex
Later they come across a room with a large spherical object on a table, about the size of a basketball, with a bunch of wires and tubes attached to it. The far wall is covered in mirrors.
The Gravedigger is still carrying Amadi and Greibel, one slung under each arm.
Amadi's hair has finally dried, resulting in a hairy mass of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
GREIBEL
(To Amadi)
Your hair is really quite lovely today.
AMADI
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.
RHU
I think we should head back to the holoroom.
AMADI
Go back? What for? Did someone forget their hairdye?
GREIBEL
Not gonna say I told you so but... I told you so.
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier.
Radek goes to examine the object. (rolled 17 arcana) It seems to be the shielding artifact described in the presentations.
DAWN
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in. I... think?
Dawn winces for some reason.
AMADI
I was inside. I'm outside now.
RHU
(to Amadi)
Are you bleeding?
Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
AMADI
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's blood.
Radek groans and goes back to the others to take a look. He examines Amadi's head (rolled 23 heal) and finds no wounds. In fact she seems to be perfectly fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Like she tried washing it with blood.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, she's not complaining.
RADEK
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy. And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
RHU
(to Amadi)
Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
AMADI
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
RHU
It's not oozing, it's just... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.
Dawn walks over to a mirror and touches it.
AMADI
... Yeah, you're crazy.
Dawn looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
Radek goes back to the artifact on the table and checks it out more thoroughly.
RADEK
(to Gravy)
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
The Gravedigger carefully puts down Amadi and Greibel and prepares to desecure the object.
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors. (rolled 32 perception (natural 20)) They look normal. One has some smudges on it.
Rhu wipes at the smudges.
Greibel oinks at the Gravedigger.
The Gravedigger slices at the tubes with a razor-edged shovel, and they deflate sadly with a sad hiss. It's very sad.
The Gravedigger heaves the object out of its setting. (rolled 25 strength (natural 20)) It comes out neatly and he's left standing there holding a weird shiny orb. And then, to him, everything goes funky. (rolled 1 reality) All sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
The Gravedigger hurriedly starts to put the orb back, but then Radek gestures for him to hand it over instead, and he does so.
Everything goes back to normal.
Radek, now holding the orb instead, gets his own dose of the feeling. (rolled 31 arcana (natural 20))
Apheori (GM): It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Frezak (Gravy): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Radek cackles.
RADEK
Yes! This is it!
The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
RADEK
Hit me with the shovel!
Rhu turns away from the mirror in time to see the Gravedigger swing his shovel right at Radek.
RHU
...Gravy? What are you doing?
DAWN
Science.
The Gravedigger misses.
Radek gives him a disappointed look.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, got overexcited there.
RADEK
I said hit me.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let me try again.
The Gravedigger tries again, misses again, tries a third time, and finally hits Radek full force with his shovel.
Radek falls over.
RHU
Woah! Gravy!
Radek jumps up immediately after.
RADEK
Hahahaha!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
AWESOME.
Rhu just stares.
DAWN
Is this science?
RADEK
Yes! This is science!
RHU
I vote... madness?
RADEK
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Amadi disappears.
Greibel looks around, confused.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Cheater!
SPHINX
Death. Good.
DAWN
(reaching down to stroke the sphinx)
Shush, sweetling.
(to the others)
This way! There are stairs.
Dawn points at a wall.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's a wall.
GREIBEL
Hmmmm. I've seen this. STAND BACK.
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dawn pointed at.
DAWN
Well, that...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
Greibel runs right through the wall. (rolled 2 reality)
DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.
RHU
Wha... ?!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's pretty good.
RHU
...yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.
DAWN
Are we?
Dawn walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Dust. It's like that metal thing earlier. Only you crazy guys can go through it. Unless Radek wants to chat it up.
Radek glances at the ceiling.
RADEK
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Use mints!
RHU
(at the wall)
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?


INT. Walls - underground complex
While all of that is going on, Greibel walks through several more walls and then finds the stairs, right in the direction Dawn had indicated.


INT. Room - underground complex
RADEK
Bah. Fine! You there! Wall! Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
The wall says nothing.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!
RADEK
Her silence did not avail her! Here I stand as proof that walls have not bested me before, and they will not best me now!
DAWN
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
"Supposed' is worth little, it seems.
RADEK
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!
Radek tries walking through the wall. To him, it seems solid.
DAWN
Or you could just use the...
Dawn points toward the door.
Rhu looks.
Dawn tugs Rhu's sleeve and then leads him toward the door, back out into the maze of corridors. He follows without objection.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, I have an idea. You hold onto the orb. And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.
RADEK
That isn't likely to help you pass through it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It is if I break the wall.
Radek shrugs.
RADEK
Very well.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek, holds him tight, and leaps into the wall, smashing the little old mad scientist into it head-first. The orb lets out a glowing pulse. (rolled 17 attack) For a moment, everything feels as mad as it had when he had been holding the orb himself, but then it goes back to normal - right as they both pass right through the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness. (both rolled 1 reality)
Ganelon (Radek): And to think. We're supposed to be the sane people.


INT. Stairwell - underground complex
Dawn and Rhu find Greibel smoking by the entrance to the stairs.
RHU
Hey!
Greibel looks up.
GREIBEL
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
RHU
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
DAWN
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce. Probably.
GREIBEL
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here.


INT. Not quite midnight
Everything is dark. There little to no sensation, and even less to see. As Radek and the Gravedigger drift through the dark, they find the can still move, here, even without substance, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of cheese...
And power, too. They feel it, in the distance below them...
RADEK
It's astounding that the others still doubt us.
The Gravedigger is still using Radek as a shield, and he directs them toward that power, moving them closer, closer, closer.
They descend into the darkness, losing all sense of direction, including where they were supposed to be going in the first place. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will yet come to pass.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is it. What I have been seeking. All this time!
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL.
They're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further they go, the more aware they become of the existence beyond what they've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The stories. All true...
THEY SAID I WAS MAD. I'll SHOW THEM.
I WILL HAVE YOU. AND SHOW THE WORLD. I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF.
RADEK
Hey. Gravy. This isn't a shovel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT. I WILL- what?
RADEK
This isn't a shovel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh. Damn.
RADEK
Something wrong about it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Never mind, then.
RADEK
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.


INT. Stairwell - underground complex
RHU
Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?
DAWN
Yeah, maybe. How long does it take to bash in a wall?
GREIBEL
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
RHU
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
Greibel takes another bong hit.
Rhu starts to head back toward the room.
DAWN
(to Greibel)
Guard the way?
RHU
Guard what way?
GREIBEL
Yes, which way?
DAWN
Stand... I mean? Guard.
GREIBEL
(he salutes)
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
Rhu and Dawn head back.


INT. Not quite midnight
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh. We going back to the guys, then?
RADEK
I... suppose.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff? I'm sure something cool will happen.
RADEK
What? No!
Even so, he probably couldn't drop it if he wanted to - the orb is basically gone, as are their hands and everything about them. At this point, they have become little more than consciousness surrounded by warm glowing power.
And it's getting stronger.
RADEK
We should get out of here.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
All right.
RADEK
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
Slowly they will themselves to move, away from the light, into the cold, empty darkness. (rolled 19 collective wisdom)
It's horrible.
It's the worst thing either have them have ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
And then they realise they have no idea where they're going.
Frezak (Gravy): None of that sounds unusual.
Then, finally, after what feels like an eternity, it ends, and the pop out into searing light and colour, exploding through every aspect of their beings.


INT. Room - underground complex
Rhu and Dawn get back to find the room they had left empty, basically the way they had left it, no sign of the Gravedigger or Radek. The wall isn't even bashed.
RHU
Huh.
Rhu looks down the corridors to see if he can tell where they might have gone, but there's no sign.
The Gravedigger and Radek suddenly pop out of the wall and collapse on the floor in a heap at Dawn's feet.
Dawn takes a step back in surprise.
Radek groans quietly.
DAWN
Oh... what?
(yelling back toward the door)
RHU! Found them!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey. Is it lunchtime?
RHU
Ah, you got through the wall after all, then?
DAWN
Floor, apparently.
RHU
Oh. Kay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There wasn't a shovel.
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.
RHU
It's lunchtime somewhere.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sounds good to me.
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere...
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.
RHU
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
Radek mumbles to himself.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We ended up here.
SPHINX
(on Dawn's shoulders)
Hungry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(looking at a sandwich he pulled out)
Pickle and cheese? Who packed this? I never make pickle and cheese. Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
(he pulls out another bag)
Wait, no, here they are.
RADEK
One part silver, three parts nitrogen... is it any wonder? They always ask when the answer's right in front of their noses...
RHU
(to the sphinx)
Do you want more stories?
SPHINX
(staring at Gravy)
Stories.
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind. The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have sandwiches. So tough. Well, I might have some soup. Chicken and noodle.
RADEK
I'm... starting to hate walls.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want a sandwich?
RADEK
I want to be outside.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(he shrugs)
All I got is sandwiches.
The walls groan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, ready. Where now?
RHU
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
Dawn leads everyone back to the stairs, and Greibel.
They go up.
And up.
And up.


INT. CRYPT
After an annoyingly long climb, a few transfers to slightly different staircases, and a fair bit of grumbling, the party, complete with midget, Mouseforged, porridge, and sphinx, come to a final door and spill out into a crypt.
It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap. Nothing looks to have disturbed it recently, but it's clean.
Behind them, the door closes and becomes almost indistinguishable from the rest of the wall, though they could probably still use it since they now know it's there.
By this point, Dawn is riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
The Gravedigger shines his horn-torches around.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
Rhu shrugs.
RADEK
I'll go first.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek? Are you protected against magic?
RADEK
Quite possibly.
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy. Cold may be a concern.
The Gravedigger activates gravyvision and detects a very small amount of external light coming from the right. (rolled 31 perception) There are also some shiny things glinting amongst the bones - coins apparently dropped in with them.
The Gravedigger turns and marches off in the direction of the light.
The others follow.
The light turns out to be a small crack under the bottom of a door.
The door itself is locked.
RHU
(whispers)
...should we knock?
They might be a little creeped out that people want to leave the crypt.
The Gravedigger listens intently for anything on the other side. (rolled 35 perception) He hears voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.
DAWN
Would you knock if you were dead?
RADEK
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
DAWN
Am I? Oh. Cool!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Guys on the other side.
RHU
(to Dawn)
Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Chances are that if we knock, they'll run on account of undead hordes.
RHU
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
...do we want to tell them about... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, no reason to tell them. If we have to say, we were Hole'd.
Rhu nods.
RHU
Let's go say hi.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can anyone imitate a ghost? Or zombie or whatever?
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.
RHU
Imitate a ghost?
We could set the porridge on them. Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?
DAWN
I'm a zombie.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?
DAWN
(sounding a bit like a pig)
Grooonk. Er.
Dawn looks embarassed.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH. NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH.
DAWN
Hurrung?
DAWN
Noom.
Dawn waggles her fingers.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, someone do something.
GREIBEL
You guys are all wrong. A proper ghost noise is WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, Greibel.
DAWN
Wiggly woo!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
RADEK
...Greibel, just turn into a horde of spiders and chase them out, please.
GREIBEL
Oh hey, there's an idea. SPIDER ATTACK.
Dawn unlocks and opens the door a crack and peers behind it.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and scuttles through.
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Dawn runs out after them.
RHU
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.


INT. Temple - day
The spiders, followed by Dawn, come out into a temple, tall, stone, and full of windows letting in various motes of sunlight, though the decorations are austere. Four people, all human, are standing around chatting - two priests, Doros and Nereem, and two townsfolk.
At the sight of the spiders, one of the townspersons shrieks and flees out the main door, slamming it in his wake.
Doros falcepalms.
Nereem and the other townsperson just stare.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(from behind the door)
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY.
Rhu pokes his way in after the spiders and the midget, and the Gravedigger comes out as well, opening the door the rest of the way. As soon as he's through, the Mouseforged disk floats out as well, trailing to catch up with Dawn.
RHU
Hey! Is this your crypt?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You can have it back.
The Gravedigger waves.
Frezak (Gravy): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.
Nereem looks toward Rhu and the Gravedigger and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit. Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
Radek follows, coming out a bit behind the others.
NEREEM
Just what do you think you're doing?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Walking out your crypt.
RADEK
Leaving, I would imagine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Egressing.
NEREEM
You're graverobbers, are you? You expect us to just let you walk out?
DAWN
Spiders!
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height and stomps up to be toe-to-toe with Nereem.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.
Dawn picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in Nereem's face.
DAWN
Spiiiideers!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER. I BURY PEOPLE. I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD.
Nereem falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Dawn's handful of Greibel.
Frezak (Gravy): "For a handfull of Greibel"
Ganelon (Radek): "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"
Frezak (Gravy): "I signed up for shrine maidens! No-one told me about screaming horned giants!"
DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
The other townsperson, who up to this point had just been hanging around watching, finally decides to leave as well, this apparently being just a bit too much for him.
Rhu follows and checks out the door before coming back to the others.
The other priest, Doros, approaches the Gravedigger trying to look non-threatening.
DOROS
Okay, what were you doing in there?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
The Gravedigger continues to eye Nereem.
Nereem tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel. He then curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff.
DOROS
A hole?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hole. Capital H. A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else? Like a door without a frame. Magic stuff.
Doros looks the Gravedigger up and down.
DOROS
Not one you dug yourself, then. It came out in the crypt?
RHU
Like the big giant tree a day south of here. Holes in the universe. Like the anvils.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yep.
RHU
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There's gold lying about in there. You should take better care of it.
RADEK
Damned inconvenient things. And dangerous, too.
RHU
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve. Also guys?
(he grins)
I think we're back in Coffle.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, that's great, Rhu. We don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
RHU
The Car! We can get out of here!
DOROS
Hazz'ridan, you say?
Nereem continues to rock back and forth on the floor, whimpering.
DOROS
So it's true, then. It's starting up again.
RHU
Yes, Hazz'ridan.
(he shows the priest the Hazz'ridan implement around his neck)
...what's starting up again?
DOROS
That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known. Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?
RHU
What is an Arah?
DOROS
Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Now answer the question.
RHU
King of the sandcastle?
DOROS
Who reigns?
RHU
King of the sandcastle.
Rhu stares blankly, then suddenly, excitedly, starts fishing out his notes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel. Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.
RHU
(reading)
"It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!"
Well, I had.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, you too?
DAWN
Akrikdirin Vak?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Why does no-one tell ME about sandcastles!
DAWN
But this is Arling Tor.
Wait, did you say Lokshmi? The... the... the...
Dawn gestures ineffectively, then shouts:
DAWN
SPIDERS!
RHU
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
DOROS
You are a very long way from home indeed.
SPHINX
HUNGRY!
RHU
Yes, I suppose giant fish would make you hungry.
The sphinx jumps onto Dawn's head and looms in Rhu's direction.
Rhu backs away from Dawn and the sphinx. Doros steps away from them as well.
Dawn shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.
RHU
So. Who are you guys? And what's starting again?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bad stuff.
RHU
Yes, but... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff? Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
DOROS
I am Doros, and that...
(he points to the spider-covered quivering ball)
Is Nereem. We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hrmph.
RHU
Ah. Hazz'ridan the Ending asked me to beat him over the head at some point, but I think he was joking.
DOROS
(skeptically)
Beat Kyrule over the head.
RHU
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser man than me.
Doros rolls his eyes.
DOROS
Why am I not surprised?
The sphinx walks over to Nereem and eats a spider.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
BAD SPHINX. SPIT. NO EATING THE DRUID
The sphinx grins at the Gravedigger.
The Gravedigger charges the sphinx.
Rhu readies his maul.
Ganelon (Radek): I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
The Gravedigger takes a mighty swing, but winds up tripping over the sphinx instead of attacking it. (rolled 11 attack (natural 1))
The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily. He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
Frezak (Gravy): GRAAAGH. I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT.
Frezak (Gravy): You know, Radek? I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Ganelon (Radek): I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
Frezak (Gravy): I DONT CARE. I HATE IT.
The Gravedigger picks himself up slowly, and then very deliberately turns back to Doros.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you guys exorcise a cat? As in, banish the cat?
RHU
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.
DOROS
I do not know.
(addressing the sphinx)
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?
RADEK
Tormenting us.
SPHINX
Hungry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Holy water? Orbital cannon? Vorpal blade?
RADEK
If only.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Neutron bomb?
RADEK
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.
DAWN
It is behaving. Always.
Dawn walks over to a window and stares out in amazement.
DAWN
Is that... the sky?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek. We have to go back. And get the One True Shovel.
RADEK
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.
RADEK
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel? Perhaps. But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What do you need to do this? How can I help?
DOROS
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What if we just cut off its legs? Put it in a hole?
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem.
NEREEM
Oh the humanity.
Nereem collapses under the suddenly consolidated weight.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
GREIBEL
HONK!
No wait, that's not right. A-okay, Cap'n!
RHU
Ah. Well. That settles the killing-the-sphinx question, I guess.
DOROS
(to the sphinx)
Stories, is it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
How do we make it leave?
DOROS
How did you make it come?
SPHINX
Stories.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps being a pain.
RHU
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody. Speaking of which...
Rhu draws the sphinx away from the others with another story, this one a long tale about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by. He keeps his distance from the sphinx as best he can in the doing.
Doros pulls Greibel up off of Nereem.
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized.
Doros ignores him and just picks up Nereem and sets him on his feet as well, and then sends him into the back to sort himself out.
Nereem shuffles off uncertainly, glancing back at Greibel in fear.
DOROS
How did you summon the sphinx?
RHU
He followed me. I... ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples. And when I came back, he showed up as well. And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm. That's all I know.
DOROS
What did you offer it?
Rhu thinks.
RHU
Er. I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Ganelon (Radek): It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!
DOROS
You may have a problem.
RHU
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through... Arah, was it? ...all the way back here!
DOROS
Who would? Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't. But nor do people talk to them. Add one, and it seems you may get the other.
RHU
...you're saying we can bore it into leaving?
DOROS
It's possible. But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
Ganelon (Radek): "Everyone, quickly! Do nothing of interest!"
Frezak (Gravy): HIDE IN A HOLE.
RHU
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
Doros snorts.
RHU
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
DOROS
Which holes?
RADEK
The ones threatening to destroy this plane.
DOROS
It isn't just this plane.
RADEK
Indeed, though the one we're currently occupying still happens to be a more immediate concern.
RHU
Other planes are on their own at this point.
DOROS
When one falls, it takes those closest with it.
RHU
So... that would be a no?
DOROS
Ask your lord, who so despises holes.
RHU
He doesn't know. We're trying to work it out with his help.
DOROS
(motioning toward Dawn, who is still staring at the clouds in awe)
Then ask her.
RHU
Ask her what?
DOROS
What happened on Sarathi.
All at once, the space seems to change. It is as though everything is thinner, darker, unreal - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, still seeing, within the bubble of the temple.
Dawn looks back as well, seeing the change, through her very presense reminding the others that it happened, though the notion of when is already gone.
Frezak (Gravy): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
Ganelon (Radek): I don't go to church, so who knows?
While all of this is going on, the Gravedigger cleans his shovel.
RHU
...did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
DOROS
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
DAWN
Twins?
The sphinx growls lowly.
RHU
She? You mean Dave? And... Sarathi De? Wha?
DOROS
It was a game she played growing up.
(to Dawn)
Do you remember?
RHU
Huh.
DAWN
I don't remember anything.
RADEK
(to Doros)
...Who are you, really?
DOROS
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may converse now. But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
RADEK
(grumbling to himself)
...Gods.
DAWN
(cheerfully)
Foot fungus.
Rhu just stands there looking confused.
The Gravedigger continues to clean his shovel.
Greibel smiles helpfully.
Frezak (Gravy): Apparently Dave is a god.
RADEK
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't. We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?
DOROS
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Gaurav (Rhu): To translate the madness?
Ganelon (Radek): More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(putting his shovel away)
If you're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything. I'm going to go look for a pub.
The Gravedigger trudges out.
DOROS
Amadi won't translate. She should, but she won't.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have. They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.
RHU
Broken, yes, that makes sense.
RADEK
I fix machines, not minds.
DOROS
They have the power to mend the universe. It is who they were. Who they will be.
RHU
Oh hello. Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
So. We're collecting weirdos. We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.
DAWN
It won't work. It can't work. It's gone.
RHU
What's gone?
Dawn suddenly walks up to Doros and eyes him curiously.
DAWN
Why are you in a man?
Doros stares at her for a long moment, not responding. Then his expression turns to concern, and he reaches out to touch Dawn's face, but then stops.
DOROS
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
Frezak (Gravy): You dirty, dirty boy.
Gaurav (Rhu): ...Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend...
Suddenly everything goes back to normal. The sun shines in once more like anything. Reality takes on a solid sheen. Time... is time once more.
Doros seems to sag.
RHU
Woah! What was that?
DOROS
I'm sorry. I need to rest.
RHU
Are you okay?
DOROS
(he nods)
Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again.
Excuse me.
Doros heads toward one of the back rooms as well.
RHU
Huh. I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect.
Dawn stares after him forlornly.
DAWN
(absently)
She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
RADEK
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot.
RADEK
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
The party heads out.
Apheori (GM): Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
Ganelon (Radek): Good question. I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
Frezak (Gravy): ...A warmouse body, right?
Ganelon (Radek): Yeah, basically.
Frezak (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Frezak (Gravy): WARMOUSE
Ganelon (Radek): For now I'll just drag it around, though. It is walking, right? Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
Apheori (GM): It's on a disk. It doesn't seem to be awake.
Ganelon (Radek): Hm. That's abnormal.
Frezak (Gravy): MR MOUSIE. Radekradekradek SAVE HIM.
Ganelon (Radek): But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that. They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body. Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.


EXT. Coffle temple district - day
It's a street, there are temples around, and, for whatever reason, entirely too many guards are also milling about.
The Gravedigger reaches out and acquires a guard.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Where is the college?
The guard hits the Gravedigger with his weapon. It doesn't actually do any damage.
GUARD
Er, sorry. Reflex. It's over down there...
The guard gives directions to the exact opposite side of town.
Radek also asks about Rorik's weaponshop. Due to initially calling him Rurik there is a bit of confusion, but then they get directions to that as well. It turns out to be on the way to the college.
They start walking in the indicated direction.
RHU
Is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's pretty much what I expected. This must be what being Greibel is like.
Greibel tries walking on his hands.
RADEK
Well, at least it felt productive.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
RADEK
Study it, of course. Replicate it, if I can manage.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
If we get into a fight, you're in first.
RADEK
It didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
On the way, Hazz'ridan talks to Rhu.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
This is new, and an interesting twist. They hid it so well, those two, but ever as they were not as they seemed, this, of all things betrays them. You do not even know what you witnessed, my precious eyes and ears, but it doesn't matter, for witness it you did.
This is all so very interesting.
To Rhu, it almost resembles Radek's mutterings. There's more to it, too, other layers beneath the main body, things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees. It actually seems rather optimistic, though Rhu doesn't understand most of it.
Rhu nods and pretends to understand.
RHU
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees - maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Write down the good bits from the voices in your head.
RHU
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
He seems... happy. Optimistic.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds bad. Your god rarely heralds good things for us. What with his domain being... non-progression.
RHU
What about the time he saved us at the pool? He's mostly been good for us, I think.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
He did? Eh.
RHU
He cured our madness before we all went into the pool after Azariphale.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right. I'll... uh... think on that.
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's... uh... get some money?
RADEK
Yes, let's.
RHU
Where are we heading?
DAWN
To our respective dooms.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The weaponmaker guy.


INT. Rorik and Sons weapon shop - evening
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.
The Gravedigger stands behind the fat guy and leans over him. The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
When Rorik looks up as well, the Gravedigger then indicates Radek.
RADEK
Good day, Rorik.
RORIK
Ah, hello! Hello! You have what I need? I have what you need.
RADEK
Right here!
Radek produces blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled.
Ganelon (Radek): Possibly annotated! There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
They make the trade - box of explosive parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints. Rorik seems quite pleased.
RHU
(to Dawn)
How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
DAWN
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
RORIK
(looking over the blueprints)
Excellent.
The fat guy then turns to Dawn and starts arguing at her.
He tells her about how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
She tells him about how the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
He tells her about how preposterous that is, and how she wouldn't dare; he's too important for this.
She tells him about how muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
He nods and lays them out on a workbench.
RORIK
(sitting down)
Do let me know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness. I do say I'm very interested.
He says this as he's already scribbling plans off the original blueprints on another sheet, and marking off bits of the blueprints.
RADEK
Gladly!
Radek has already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in his hands as he heads out.
Ganelon (Radek): And to think! I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
RHU
Dave! We should get a mov-
The Gravedigger picks up Dawn and walks out.
RHU
Never mind.
RADEK
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.
Radek looks positively radiant, and possibly a little creepy as a result.


≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 16 (Overview)
Retrieved from ‘https://wiki.zaori.org/w/index.php?title=Holes/Session_16&oldid=2921’

It's extremely distressing when someone just drops out of your life. Adults are often devastated when someone ghosts them. It's a pretty normal impulse to wonder what we did wrong and kids especially have a very egocentric sense of cause and effect. They often think they are responsible for anything bad that happens to them.