Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 3"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.
WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.


Maanwhile Radek goes through the logs. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.
Maanwhile Radek goes through the footage from the security center. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.


AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Line 508: Line 507:
Hey, I saw her!
Hey, I saw her!


More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static.
More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static. For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.


RADEK
RADEK
Line 518: Line 517:
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
</screenplay>
<pre>
Apheori (GM): For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.


The control core cameras reveal fairly normal activity (though there are jumps here, too) up until it had no activity. Then there is just nothing.


The control core had fairly normal activity (but jumps) up until it had no activity.
Then there was just nothing.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
Nothing.
Nothing.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
Apheori (GM): Nothing.
 
Nothing.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... That's odd
Hmm... That's odd. Is the footage of us accurate?
Is the footage of us accurate?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I better not have a beetle on my back.
I better not have a beetle on my back.
Apheori (GM): You see yourself bending your sword of of shape, and such. Yeah, mostly accurate, but according to the footage only you and Gravy actually entered.
 
And then you left almost immediately.
Radek searches some more and finds a segment with them in it. They see the door dent, Aziraphale's sword poke in and get bent out of shape, and then he and Gravy entering the room. None of the others come in. Then they leave almost immediately, looking a bit startled at somthing.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Well, that can't be right...
Well, that can't be right...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
 
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
No, it can't.
No, it can't.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
MAYBE.
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS. MAYBE.
Apheori (GM): You're not sure what you're watching after that.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
What if you're the ghost?
What if you're the ghost?
Apheori (GM): Because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
 
The footage changes to become very, very confusing, but keeps going. Nobody's quite sure what they're watching after that, but it's still the room, shifted a bit blue. Which is weird, because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
but it keeps playing?
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts. Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes? Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment ''was'' related to what happened...
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
It's oddly blue, however.
AZIRAPHALE
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts.
Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes?
Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment _was_ related to what happened...
GREIBEL
Oh man, this sounds groovy
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You said they were bringing things here from another dimesion.
THe thing is just working backwards.
Taking things from here to there.
RADEK
RADEK
I know that they're best left not tampered with.
I know that they're best left not tampered with.
GREIBEL
Oh man, this sounds groovy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
You said they were bringing things here from another dimension. The thing is just working backwards. Taking things from here to there. WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
 
RHU
RHU
You've never been to a zoo?
You've never been to a zoo?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No?
No?
RHU
RHU
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THey don't let you dig holes in zoos.
They don't let you dig holes in zoos.
 
RHU
RHU
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
rolling d20
 
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Griebel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Mucking about with science.
Mucking about with science.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure. I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
 
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
Greibel suddenly develops an intense interest in paint. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
You get this intense interest in paint.
 
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing appeared at the time.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
Ganelon: This had better not be to sniff paint fumes.
 
RHU
Did the shielding fail?
That's what shielding is for, right?
GREIBEL
Pah! I stopped sniffing paint weeks ago!
RHU
Radek, you'd know more about this.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's still in the ship.
It's still in the ship.
Ganelon: Shielding?
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside
Nothing appeared at the time.
Greibel goes to the ship with the fanged peas and the paint can
 
RHU
Did the shielding fail? That's what shielding is for, right?
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
and then when we went outside everyone was just gone.
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside. And then when we went outside everyone was just gone. So the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside. He mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions, and that if it happened it would have destabilized outside of the range, or something.
 
Greibel goes to the spaceboat with the fanged peas and the paint can.
 
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Ganelon: Please explain, miss GM.
 
About shielding.
Greibel grabs the can of paint and starts hugging it like it's his favourite ever. ''(rolled 4 reality)''
Apheori (GM): They were messing with dimensional stuff, so the room was shielded.
 
Ganelon: And what I should know.
Apheori (GM): So that if it did go wrong, it would be kept inside.
You'd probably know the theory, at least.
That... uh...
Ganelon: Well, he's asking mostly about the consequences.
Frezak: So it got inverted.
Apheori (GM): Right, that could have happened, but all the science says that's impossible, that's exactly what the shielding would prevent.
Unless something else happened that was a lot bigger.
AZIRAPHALE
so the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside
Ganelon: There actually is a path for artificers to specialize in portals and stuff, I'm just not taking it. Radek is no paragon of dimensional science.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
d20
Ganelon: But he could still know that easily enough.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Doesn't need to be a paragon of it. He's at least heard of it.
AZIRAPHALE
he mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
AZIRAPHALE
and that if it happened it would have destabilised outside of the range, or something.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You grab the can of paint and start hugging it like it's your favourite ever.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
I LOVE THIS PAINT
I LOVE THIS PAINT. I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
 
Frezak: I will stand and look dubiously down at him.
The Gravedigger looks dubiously down at him.
Wen: I will go to the bathroom. brb.
 
Greibel takes some out and splashes it around a bit
Greibel takes some paint out and splashes it around a bit.
 
The Gravedigger wanders off to loot some more ship-cars. He finds some random stuff - keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
 
He puts the cloak around his neck like a poncho. It makes him feel kind of fuzzy.
 
RADEK
RADEK
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments.
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments. And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area. Much less... this wrong.
And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area.
 
Frezak: I'll go loot more ships.
RADEK
Much less... this wrong.
RHU
RHU
Maybe the shielding exploded.
Maybe the shielding exploded. Maybe...  
Maybe... what... is he doing?
(he notices Greibel)
Rhu stares at Greibel.
What... is he doing?
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can
 
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
being a stoner.
Being a stoner.
 
RADEK
RADEK
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself
 
RHU
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself. Then he realises he can't actually see or breathe with this on, which is kind of a problem, and pulls it off. ''(rolled 17 reality)'' He's a bit confused as to why he even did that in the first place, but only a little bit.
Frezak: You find some random stuff: keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
 
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you find that.
Ganelon: Ooh, riddles.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
d20
Azir: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Ganelon: And computers.
Smart things.
Frezak: CLOAK.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You realise that because of the paint can on your head, you can't see or breathe, so you pull it off. You're a bit confused as to why you did that, but only a little bit.
Greibel does that
Frezak: I put it around my neck like a poncho.
Apheori (GM):
rolling 1d20 for Azir because he's out.
(
6
)
=
6
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Heeeey, nice cape, man
(to Gravy)
Apheori (GM): It makes you feel kind of fuzzy.
Heeeey, nice cape, man. Real Vincent Price.
GREIBEL
 
Real Vincent Price
Aziraphale suddenly sees tentacles everywhere. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
...
Apheori (GM): I'm totally going with that.
Wen: /me smashes the die
Ganelon: Yaaaay
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak: WHOOO
Ganelon: Sometimes rolls of 1 can be very amusing and appropriate.
Apheori (GM): Azir: YOU SEE TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
Ganelon: Other times, Korik dies.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAAGH
AAAAAAGH. TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
TENTACLES EVERYWHERE
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Whoa, WHERE?
Whoa, WHERE? Tentacles are AWESOME.
Frezak: I put the shiny cloak over his head.
 
GREIBEL
Tentacles are AWESOME
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
EVERYWHERE
EVERYWHERE.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
 
d20
The Gravedigger plods over and puts the shiny cloak over Aziraphale's head.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
Mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
Apheori (GM): Aww.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Shhhhhh.
Shhhhhh. They're gone.
They're gone.
 
Wen: is it just me or does the stoner average much better rolls?
Greibel pats Aziraphale reassuringly on what is probably his shoulder.
Greibel pats Azi reassuringly
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel much calmer, and realise you were freaking out over nothing. Even if the tentacles are real, they weren't hurting anyone.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Don't worry bro, just ride it out
Don't worry bro, just ride it out.
Frezak: I'll take the thing off when he stops struggling.
 
Ganelon: Yeah, he does seem to roll really well.
Aziraphale calms down a bit, realising the tentacles aren't actually harming anything even if they are real. He stops struggling.
Aziraphale stops struggling
 
Apheori (GM): Well is relative. >.>
The Gravedigger pulls off the cloak. Now Aziraphale still sees the tentacles, but realises they're not actually there. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' Greibel seems to be their king.
Azir: d20
 
Ganelon: Meanwhile, Gravy has been trending towards good sanity.
Then he shakes his head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
Wen: if I get a one again..
 
Ganelon: And I think I've been the opposite.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Wen: \o/
Bear Soup Guy: ahahah such disparity
Ganelon: A lot of shitty d20s but good SCIENCE ROLLS.
Apheori (GM): Gravy also has a much higher base sanity than most of the others. Radek too.
Ganelon: I wasn't even aware this was a stat.
Frezak: I do?
Apheori (GM): Oh. I shouldn't have told you that.
Wen: me neither. I've not really been playing insane.
Frezak: okay >.>
Ganelon: But it would make sense for Gravy to be more...
Apheori (GM): ANYWAY MOVING ON.
Ganelon: ...
Frezak: Well I sort of guessed.
Ganelon: Down to earth.
Wen: Snrk.
Apheori (GM): You don't have to be insane to sometimes lose it.
Ganelon grins.
Wen: well what did my 20 earn me?
Apheori (GM): Oh, right.
Gravy pulls off the cloak. You still see the tentacles, but realise they're not actually there. Greibel seems to be their king.
Then you shake your head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
Wen: excellent.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's like dealing with children.
It's like dealing with children. So, where do we go now? The old lab or try to send a report back?
SO, where do we go now?
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
MADNESS
10
Apheori (GM): Also these aren't all sanity checks. Sometimes I'm making you roll other things and just not telling you. I hope you don't mind.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THe old lab or try to send a report back?
Apheori (GM): What was Radek doing? Radek was doing things.
Wen: I'm pretty sure I escaped all the input properly. >.>
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I don't want to go back to that building.
I don't want to go back to that building.
Wen: would there be anything useful in the shielded room where the experiment was done?
 
Ganelon: I was just looking at footage on this computer.
Radek is still going through the footage. He finds some logs of the invisible shop that was there but wasn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
Apheori (GM): Wen: Maybe. You wouldn't necessarily know the difference. There was certainly... stuff.
 
Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Oh hey, it was above 10 this time.
Apheori (GM): You also find the invisible shop that is there but isn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
It's full of fallen leaves.
It's full of fallen leaves.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Ganelon: Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision."
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision." My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
 
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Ganelon: I'm ready to move on.
 
Frezak: I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Radek seems to be about done at this point and gets up.
So, comm tower, then?
 
Unless anyone has a better idea?
Apheori (GM): Your perception checks mean something.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Sure, let's go to the comm tower.
Let's go to the comm tower.
Frezak: But we have no idea whether anything we see is real, or what level of reality we're talking about.
 
Apheori (GM): From the map, it looks like that's in the building opposite the one you went to before.
Greibel stares absently up at the lava lamp sky. It looks totally awesome.
Frezak: Awesome.
 
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking, but just sees cracks. They're still there. The light is still wrong. It makes him feel kind of ill.
LAVA LAMP SKY.
 
...this is a friendly reminder from your dm that it looks totally awesome.
He stops looking and shrugs.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Greibel stares absently at the lava lamp sky
 
Wen: what can we do about it though
EXT. STAIRS LEADING UP TO COMM TOWER - weird-arse twilight
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: The cracks are still there. The light is still wrong. It makes you kind of ill.
The sky may or may not seem to be lightening. It's hard to say.
Aziraphale stops looking, shrugs
 
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
In the meantime, the party comes to the building in question. There are stairs leading up to the entrance, but there is unfortunately also a large chunk of twisted metal across the base, forming a wall blocking the way.
d20
 
Everyone: You head for the building, I suppose.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): Okay, you all head for the building, but there's a large chunk of metal blocking the steps up to the door.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
RADEK
Radek, would the toy gun be able to blast through that? Well, let's examine it first, I think.
Would the toy gun be able to blast through that?
 
Frezak: TIME TO FIND OUT.
AZIRAPHALE
...crap. the DM left.
oh nm
Apheori (GM): Chromium crashed.
So you want to try blasting it?
AZIRAPHALE
Let's examine it first, I think
Frezak: Yeah.
See if our manly muscles can dislodge it.
Or if we can walk through it >.>
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it.
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly
 
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
The universe is changing...
The universe is changing...
Rhu walks through it.
 
Frezak: SEE?
Rhu walks through wall like it's not even there.
 
RHU
Yep.
 
RADEK
RADEK
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
RHU
 
Yep.
The Gravedigger tries to walk through as well, but carefully. He finds it solid.
Frezak: I'll try, but CAREFULLY.
 
Don't want to run into a physical barrier.
Unlesss....
Apheori (GM): Gravy tries to walk through it but finds it solid.
Frezak: It's only mad people that can go trhough it.
I'M TOO SANE.
aaaaaaaaa
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
let's all try?
let's all try?
Apheori (GM): Everyone: Rolld20.
 
Frezak: MADNESS
They do. Greibel makes it through. ''(rolled 9 reality)'' The others do not.
15
 
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Greibel makes it. The rest of you don't.
SANE PEOPLE.
Apheori (GM) points and laughs.
Radek grumbles to himself.
Frezak: Hag.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
Frezak: I'd like to see if I can muscle it.
 
AZIRAPHALE
what's the block like?
RADEK
RADEK
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
Apheori (GM): A twisted lump of thick metal.
 
The Gravedigger tries to muscle the block of metal aside, but it's too huge to budge by conventional means. ''(rolled 19 reality)''
 
Aziraphale tries to talk to it. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
does it look like it can be blasted through?
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass? ...I have candy!
Apheori (GM): It looks like it was blasted through and that's how it got here... but it also looks like it was specifically designed to resist such things.
 
Gravy: d20.
Frezak: MADNESS
19
Apheori (GM): Well, that's boring.
You try to move it and nothing happens.
Frezak: Huh.
Aziraphale tries to talk to it
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Talk to it.
AZIRAPHALE
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass?
...I have candy!
Block of metal: Hey, sexy.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
That's the spirit, holy brother
That's the spirit, holy brother.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
Block of metal: What kind of candy?
BLOCK OF METAL
Hey, sexy. What kind of candy?
 
None of the others can hear it, just Aziraphale and possibly Greibel.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
King-sized Snickers.
King-sized Snickers.
Block of metal: Oooo, you are a babe.
 
BLOCK OF METAL
Oooo, you are a babe.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
you can have it if you let us pass!
You can have it if you let us pass!
Block of metal: Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
 
Wen: gods XD
BLOCK OF METAL
Frezak: NO.
Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
 
Frezak: I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL.
Bear Soup Guy: XD XD XD
Frezak: I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
This isn't the first wall that talked to me..
This isn't the first wall that talked to me. I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
 
AZIRAPHALE
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): NO. I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL. I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
I reckon we might as well give this a try.
 
Wen: aw.
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): Aw.
Frezak: I'm assuming we didn't hear the metal talk back?
 
Apheori (GM): Right.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek and puts him down a bit further away from the block of metal.
Frezak: Well', I start picking people up and putting them down further away.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You walk into the wall.
Aziraphale walks into the wall chunk thing. As he passes through, it makes strange squelching noises. He feels rather dirty when he comes out the other side, and down a candybar.
chunk.
 
Thing.
Frezak: Wait.
So that's just me and Radek, now?
Apheori (GM): As you pass through, it makes strange squelching noises.
Frezak: EW
Apheori (GM): You feel rather dirty.
Frezak: SOiled.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You can see the others on the other side, higher up on the steps.
But yes.
Wen: she does this on purpose >.>
Apheori (GM): >.>
Bear Soup Guy: =D
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
MOve aside, crazy people!
Move aside, crazy people! IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE.
IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE
 
Apheori (GM): The universe hates paladins. Any opportunity to mess with the paladin!
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
well, let's get out of the way.
Well, let's get out of the way.
Frezak: FIRE IN THE HOOOOLE
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
Rhu goes to try the door the wall was blocking.
Frezak: MADNESS
 
3
The folks on the other side move up the stairs, away from the block of metal.
WHOOO
 
Apheori (GM): Er, how out of the way did the others get?
The Gravedigger levels the gun at the block of meta and shoots a fireball, only to have it go right through and explode on the stairs on the other side, below Greibel and Rhu. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
AZIRAPHALE
 
I went a fair bit.
Given my cautious and conservative and risk-averse nature.
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu and I have presumably been walking up the stairs this whole time
Apheori (GM): Okay, so Azir's off to the side and the other two are up by the door.
Gravy: You shoot a fireball at the metal, only to have it go right through it and explode on the stairs below Greibel and Rhu.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SORRY.
SORRY.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous.
Block of metal sobs quietly.
 
The block of metal starts sobbing quietly.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH?
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH? DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE. JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE.
 
JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And ''I'm'' the crazy one for pouring paint on my head?
And /I'm/ the crazy one for pouring paint on my head
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Azi talked to it.
Azi talked to it. You didn't call HIM crazy!
You didn't call HIM crazy!
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Well Azi is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
Well Aziraphale is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Talk to them, apparently.
Talk to them, apparently.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Apparently
Apparently.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
HEY!
HEY! I don't normally talk to walls.
I don't normally talk to walls.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So you SAY.
So you SAY.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall.
 
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
RADEK
RADEK
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want to try, Radek?
You want to try, Radek? I'll let you have a turn.
I'lll let you have a turn.
 
He passes the gun to Radek.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Very well.
Very well.
Ganelon: Straight d20?
 
Apheori (GM): Might as well.
Radek shoots the wall, and the fireball goes right through again. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' He hands the weapon back to the Gravedigger.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Aziraphale hears the wall chunk screaming, and shudders slightly.
(
 
4
)
=
4
Frezak: GORRAM
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear the wall chunk screaming.
The fireball goes right through again, though.
Ganelon: I'll hand the weapon back.
Aziraphale shudders slightly
Frezak: Okay, there any windows?
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
(to Azi) It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
(to Aziraphale)
Apheori (GM): No windows, but you might be able to just climb over it if you tried.
It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly
 
Frezak: I'll give that a try?
Aziraphale relaxes slightly.
Athletics?
 
Apheori (GM): Do it.
The Gravedigger finally just stows his shield and climbs over the thing, leaving Radek behind. ''(rolled 18 athletics)''
Frezak: I'll stow my shield for this.
 
rolling 1D20+8
Radek then approaches the wall. ''(rolled 7 reality)'' The wall chunk sits there.
(
 
18
)
+8
=
26
Apheori (GM): You climb over the thing.
Leaving Radek behind.
Ganelon: I'll approach the wall.
Frezak: And proposition it.
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk sits there.
RADEK
RADEK
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk continues to sit there.
 
d20
The wall chunk continues to sit there.
Radek:
 
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Apheori (GM): Your doubt in what you're trying to do remains, and the wall chunk likewise remains stolid.
Frezak: You want me to throw you a rope to help you climb over?
RADEK
RADEK
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Frezak: Are you Intimidating a wall?
 
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle.
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle. ''(rolled 11 reality)''
 
From the other side:
 
RHU
RHU
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
Ganelon: Yes.
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
Apheori (GM): SANE MAN.
 
Ganelon: Still solid, then.
The wall starts trembling in fear. Everyone sees it.
Apheori (GM): The wall starts trembling in fear. You all see it.
 
Frezak: What.
RADEK
RADEK
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
Apheori (GM): RADEK
 
d20
The wall is still trembling.
Radek:
 
rolling 1d20
To Aziraphale, it sounds as though the wall is apologising.
(
 
9
Radek pokes it again.  ''(rolled 9 reality)'' The poke goes through.
)
 
=
9
Apheori (GM): The wall is still trembling.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have rope!
I have rope!
Ganelon: I'll poke it again.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear it apologising.
Radek attempts to pass through the wall. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' He walks into the wall. It resists, but he is sick and tired of this and manages to pass through anyway. When he comes out the other side, however, he's covered in a strange metallic film.
The poke goes through.
 
Ganelon: Then I'll attempt to pass through.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
COME ON
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
Frezak sighs.
Bear Soup Guy is enjoying this
Frezak: With this many rolls, chances of him getting past like this are pretty slim.
Apheori (GM): His chances were getting better each time. This is how the descent into madness works.
GREIBEL
That actually makes sense
err
OOC
Ganelon: Well, what happens?
Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek, you walk into the wall. It resists, but you're sick and tired of this and manage to pass through anyway. When you come out the other side, however, you're covered in a strange metlalic film.
RADEK
RADEK
Fascinating.
Fascinating.
Frezak: Delightful.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Groovy
Groovy.
Ganelon: Unless it's inhibiting my ability to breathe.
 
Apheori (GM): You realise you can't breathe.
Radek realises he can't breathe. Then he realises it doesn't seem to matter. He feels fine. He feels better than he has in quite awhile, in fact.
Frezak: That might be an undesirable outcome.
 
That's bad.
Apheori (GM): Then you realise it doesn't seem to matter?
Frezak: Worse.
Apheori (GM): You feel fine. You feel better than you have in quite awhile, in fact.
Ganelon: Nah, he'd be pretty cool with that. Breathing sucks anyway, just like eating.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SO are you a robot now?
So are you a robot now?
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard.
 
RADEK
RADEK
I haven't the faintest idea.
I haven't the faintest idea.
RHU
RHU
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
Frezak: They made him eat his own sausages.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
Frezak: onwards.
 
Ganelon: All things considered this is a very acceptable state of affairs.
RHU
RHU
(pointing back)
The door won't open.
The door won't open.
Frezak: graaah
 
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Now that everyone's over, they give it a proper look. It's a glass slidey door with an electric lock.
Oh, whatever.
 
Rhu tried the door and it wouldn't open.
Radek starts getting out his electronic tinkering tools.
Frezak: What kind of door is it?
 
What kind of locK?
Apheori (GM): Slidey door. Glass. Electric lock.
Frezak: Radek?
Finangle,
Ganelon: Messing with electronics then?
Frezak: Anyone have a better idea?
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Or we could break the glass...
Or we could break the glass...
Greibel taps the glass with his staff
 
Rhu hits it with whatever his weapon is.
Greibel taps the glass with his staff.
Apheori (GM): It cracks.
 
Frezak: Rhu has a Maul.
Rhu hits it with his maul. It cracks.
Apheori (GM): The maul cracked it.
 
Frezak: great
Apheori (GM): Do something.
Ganelon: Just thinking.
Frezak: Well we go in!
Ganelon: Cracked or shattered?
Greibel pushes it
Ganelon: Because I'm not opposed to at least testing this weird metallic stuff against sharp glass.
Apheori (GM): Cracked.
And now it's more cracked.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Gladly.
Gladly.
Ganelon: I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
 
Or glass surface, if you prefer.
Radek slams the glass surface with all the force of a single emaciated old man. It partly melts and partly shatters. Some bits stick to him and dissolve into the strange metallic film.
Apheori (GM): XD
 
You slam into it and it partly melts and partly shatters.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Some bits stick to you and melt into the strange metallic film.
 
Ganelon: He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Radek climbs through.
Alright, I'll climb through if a suitable hole can be made.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Wicked
Wicked.
Apheori (GM): It's pretty holed now.
 
Big enough for the others to follow as well.
Greibel and the others follow.
Frezak: I do so.
 
Greibel does so
 
Apheori (GM): You're in a hallway. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
INT. HALLWAY - weird-arse twilight
 
It's not terribly interesting. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey, what day is it?
Hey, what day is it?
Frezak: The sign is misspelled?
 
Ganelon: I was just about to ask.
Greibel rubs his stomach absently. It's not even clearly day. The sun disappeared at some point, but the stars never came out and now the sky has just been glowing weirdly with cracks.
Greibel Greibel rubs his stomach absently
 
Apheori (GM): You don't know. The sun disappeared and the stars never came out and now the sky was just glowing weirdly with cracks.
Frezak: Sure, why not.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
RADEK
RADEK
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to.
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to. Well, you can. I'll do without.
Well, you can. I'll do without.
 
Frezak: Stairs going up?
The Gravedigger heads for the stairs, and the others follow.
Apheori (GM): Up and down.
 
Frezak: I go up.
 
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
INT. STAIRWELL
Frezak: MADNESS
 
5
It's stairs.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Gravy ''(rolled 18 reality)'' and Rhu ''(rolled 4 (reality)'' hear strange noises and what might be voices.
(
 
18
)
=
18
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): Gravy and Rhu hear strange noises and what might be voices as you enter the stairwell.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I hear noises.
I hear noises.
RHU
RHU
Voices?
Voices?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
Maybe.
RADEK
RADEK
I don't.
I don't.
RHU
RHU
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome.
Awesome. Let's keep going.
Let's keep going.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I hear nothing.
I hear nothing.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
I always hear things
I always hear things. But no more than usual.
But no more than usual
 
Apheori (GM): You climb a lot.
They climb the stairs. A lot. Aziraphale and Rhu flag a little bit behind because it's pretty exhausting. Along the way, absolutely nothing weird happens.
Frezak: okay.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir and Rhu fall behind because it's pretty exhausting.
For whatever reason, Radek keeps up just fine.
Absolutely nothing weird happens.
 
Wen: They don't wait for us? The bastards.
Aziraphale has a horrible thought and hurriedly catches up.
Apheori (GM): Eh, you're not that far behind.
 
Yes.
Rhu gets left a bit behind and then collapses. ''(rolled 4 reality)''
Yet.
 
Ganelon: I assume it would be normal for me to be falling behind too.
AZIRAPHALE)
Apheori (GM): It probably would be normal, but you're not.
Frezak: I'm the apex of physical prowess.
Apheori (GM): You and Greibel both.
...somehow.
Well, aside from the strength.
Frezak: Smoking is apparently great.
Apheori (GM): But nevermind that.
Bear Soup Guy: It sure is
Ganelon: Greibel's a pretty tough guy, actually.
He's the second most durable in the party, if not the best armored (that would be Azi)
Frezak: I KEEP WALKING.
Apheori (GM): So you guys probably slow down for the others?
Okay, he doesn't.
Wen: I have a feeling that the DM is going to drag me out and shoot me or something by deliberately leaving me with an NPC
>.>
Aziraphale walks more quickly
Apheori (GM): Eh, the NPC is supposed to be a PC; the player just isn't here.
Ganelon: In this crazy place?
Apheori (GM): But you can never count on anything.
Ganelon: If you need to be removed, it wouldn't be unexpected for you to just disappear.
Apheori (GM): Dude, that shouldn't be unexpected regardless.
Ganelon: Hyper-dimensional manhole.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU'VE REACHED THE MANHOLE
Oh sorry
Apheori (GM): Fortunately you have not encountered any maholes.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I wouldn't trust one to be stable for an instant.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you all keep climbing. Rhu gets left a bit behind.
Manholes are never stable.
This is why they stay in the ground.
Everyone roll a d20
Frezak: MADNESS
16
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
4
)
=
4
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Wen: BSG!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Frezak: great
Wen: crap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu collapses.
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well? Pick him up!
Well? Pick him up!
Apheori (GM): Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off.
 
Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oik!
Oik!
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I think we'd better take a rest.
I think we'd better take a rest. Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Frezak: Blaaargh.
 
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door. There is something very important on the other side that he simply must get to.
Greibel doesn't look too good either.
 
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
Gravy grabs the swarm of bats. ''(rolled 22 against swarm reflex)''
There is something very important there and you MUST get to it.
 
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door
He drags the swarm of bats up the stairs, and they struggle mightily as they are pulled away from the door.
Apheori (GM): Having a wildshaping crazy person is awesome.
 
Wen: Typical. If someone rolls a 1, bad things happen. 19? Nope, nothing, nothing at all. It's just like life.
Gotta get lucky to live normally, but a bit of rotten luck can get you down
/nick Marvin >.>
Frezak: I grab the swarm.
Apheori (GM): Make a grabby thing.
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+4
(
18
)
+4
=
22
Vs... AC or reflex? I forget.
Ganelon: Reflex.
Apheori (GM): Do swarms get extra anything? For being swarms.
Frezak: Nope.
4E is weird that way.
Ganelon: Strangely, not against grabs.
Apheori (GM): Great. You now have a swarm of bats.
Did anyone get Rhu?
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
(now dragging Rhu)
Can we get him to turn back?
Can we get him to turn back?
Frezak: I drag the swarm of bats up the stairs.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm dragging him
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You're almost to the floor with the important things.
Frezak: great.
Apheori (GM): The bats seriously struggle as you pull them away from that door.
Frezak: I seriously pull.
Opposed strength checks?
Apheori (GM): Oh, you win.
But they like that door a lot.
Frezak: Well, tough.
AZIRAPHALE
Maybe we should check out that door?
Maybe we should check out that door?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful.
(not stopping)
Always pointing out useful things.
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful. Always pointing out useful things.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Well, why else did you bring him?
Well, why else did you bring him?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not my choice.
Not my choice.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
 
d20
Greibel flaps around.
Ganelon: Poor Greibel. Nobody ever believes him.
 
Rhu:
Finally the party reaches the floor they were after.
rolling 1d20
 
(
 
6
INT. CORRIDOR etc
)
 
=
Everyone spills out. Aziraphale drops Rhu, and Greibel finally calms down and forgets what made him so agitated ''(rolled 13 reality)''.
6
 
Greibel:
Greibel stops being bats and Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
rolling 1d20
 
(
11
)
=
11
Apheori (GM): Okay, nothing changes with them.
Greibel flaps around
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
MADNESS
18
Apheori (GM): You make it to the door you want and spill out into the corridor.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Frezak: great
 
Apheori (GM): Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Aziraphale follows the blood
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You realise there are footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with it. They appear to be hooflike.
Rhu gets up.
Ganelon: I don't object to this course of action.
 
Apheori (GM): everyone but Azir: d20
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Frezak: MADNESS
10
AZIRAPHALE
guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Apheori (GM): Rhu recovers and gets up.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
RHU
RHU
This feels like a dead end.
This feels like a dead end.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Aziraphale follows the blood. He notices footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with the draggee. They appear to be hooflike.
(
 
17
)
=
17
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You calm down and forget whatever had you so agitated.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Still batty though?
Guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Bear Soup Guy: Am I bats?
 
Frezak: Fells like a dead end to Rhu, looks like what to the rest of us?
Aziraphale follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut. He cautiously attempts to turn the handle, and the door comes open at a touch, not even latched.
Apheori (GM): You're still bats unless you stop being bats.
 
The rest of you don't feel anything in particular about it, though it's pretty messy.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors. There's some other equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
Bear Soup Guy: I stop being bats
 
Ganelon: Can I even get messy at this point?
Apheori (GM): Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
Wen: where does the blood lead?
Apheori (GM): Gan: You don't know.
Ganelon: Well then.
Apheori (GM): Azir follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut.
Aziraphale cautiously attempts to turn the handle
Apheori (GM): Azir reaches for the handle, and the door opens at the pressure. Not even latched.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Eugh.
Eugh.
Apheori (GM): You realise this was probably the room you were after, too.
 
Unfortunately this also seems to be the room they were after.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Like I always say
(from the doorway)
Apheori (GM): There's some equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
Like I always say, the room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened.
GREIBEL
 
The room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened
RHU
RHU
Hazz'ridan.
Hazz'ridan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
Huh.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Come again?
Come again?
RHU
RHU
A dead end.
A dead end.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Well...
Well...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Some things might still work.
Some things might still work.
Apheori (GM): SANITY EVERYONE.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel suddenly disappears. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
19
 
Apheori (GM): Lots of blood, horrible smell, very awful.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: Oh bugger
Frezak: graah
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
...
Apheori (GM): Greibel disappears.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
GREIBELLLLL
GREIBELLLLL!
Apheori (GM): Rhu and Azir feel the room seems to... slide.
 
Aziraphale backs out of the room
To Rhu ''(rolled 9 reality)'' and Aziraphale ''(rolled 6 reality)'', it feels as though the room has begun to slide.
Apheori (GM): Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
 
Ganelon:
Aziraphale backs out of the room, trying to keep his balance.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Radek feels the sliding even harder, and falls over, landing in the blood. ''(rolled 3 reality)'' His silvery coating absorbs a small amount, but other than that he remains clean.
3
 
)
Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
=
 
3
The Gravedigger backs out of the room and sits down with his head in his hands, and then Rhu backs into him.
Sorry, late.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek feels the same thing, and falls over, landing in the blood.
Radek stands up again after a moment and looks around. There seems to be less blood now.
Ganelon: Bwuh.
 
Apheori (GM): Some of it is absorbed into the shiny suit.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything. The blood also doesn't smell/feel quite right, but it's not even clear what kind it is. Or if Radek is even capable of smell.
Frezak: Gravy will leave the room and sit down with his head in his hands.
 
Ganelon: At this rate, my shiny suit will surely be ruined.
He heads back outside as well, not running into the others.
Apheori (GM): Rhu backs away and runs into Gravy.
 
Ganelon: Am I still conscious and in control of my actions?
Everyone is in the hall, aside from Greibel, who is just gone.
Apheori (GM): Yeah. You just fell over.
 
Ganelon: I suppose I'll stand up and look around, then.
Apheori (GM): There's less blood now.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything.
You might be able to get parts, but they'd be bloody parts.
The blood also doesn't smell quite right. You're not sure what kind it is.
Ganelon: I don't have an easy way to clean stuff other than people, strangely.
Guess I'll just walk outside.
Unless there's a roll I can do to identify this blood.
Wen: I think aside from Greibel all of us are outside.
Ganelon: That doesn't seem like something Radek would be good at, though.
Apheori (GM): Everyone is in the hall. Greibel is gone. You can identify the blood from outside.
That's true.
Greibel might have been the best bet with his nature and crap, though maybe not.
(From Aziraphale): can I disappear for 10-15 minutes or so? Or is there a plot element involving me coming up?
RADEK
RADEK
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
(To Wen): Best have you around, though. Perhaps we should all just break for a bit? I could use some lunch.
 
(From Aziraphale): either way. Your call.
Apheori (GM): Let's take a break. Wen needs to do something and I need lunch.
RADEK
RADEK
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
RHU
RHU
But?
But?
RADEK
RADEK
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
RHU
 
Bah!
Aziraphale checks his phone. He hears a suggestive voice come out and try to chat him up. ''(rolled 3 reality)''
This place!
 
It pleases Hazz'ridan, I'm sure.
He resolutely ignores it and stuffs the thing back in his pocket.
Ganelon: Actually, radios. Still unusable?
 
Apheori (GM): Good question.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
LUNCH FIRST.
 
Apheori (GM) runs away.
Radek tries his radio. ''(rolled 13 reality)'' It turns on, but complains about the low signal strength, and locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Ganelon: Sure.
 
Apheori (GM): Wen: DO YOUR THING.
Bear Soup Guy: Bow chicka bow wow
Wen twiddles his thumbs
Apheori (GM): Okay, back.
Peeling shrimp and cleaning cilantro, these things can't be rushed. I know this because I tried. >.<
Wen: sounds exotic
Apheori (GM): If by exotic, you mean what I have every day when I'm too lazy to do anything else, then yes.
Okay, so is everyone else still here?
Gan was going to try radios...
Ganelon: I'm here.
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Wen: Frezak?
Apheori (GM): I guess the Gravedigger dozed off.
Ganelon: I'm sure Frezak will be back.
Apheori (GM): Aye.
So radios?
Frezak: Well, radios?
I'm not trying mine, since all mine did was scream at me.
Ganelon: Radios.
Aziraphale checks his
Wen: keep in mind mine's probably local, not spaceship stuff.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Ganelon: Let's see if anyone can get a hold of Houdini here.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Wen: ...
Apheori (GM): Azir hears a suggestive voice come out of his and try to chat him up.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak: probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Wen: I resolutely ignore it and stuff the thing back in my pocket.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: I'll try mine.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon: Perhaps it will whisper unknowable secrets to me.
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Apheori (GM): It turns on and complains about the low signal strength.
Bear Soup Guy: Bloody service providers
Apheori (GM): It locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Wen: what about Greibel's?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't find it.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Well, this isn't very helpful.
Well, this isn't very helpful.
(To Greibel): So I guess you're probably having an adventure somewhere weird while all of this is going on.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
How are we going to look for Greibel?
How are we going to look for Greibel?
Bear Soup Guy: http://data2.whicdn.com/images/69136546/large.jpg
 
RADEK
RADEK
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
RHU
RHU
What's the local signal range?
What's the local signal range?
He checks his own radio.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
eh, we can just leave.
Eh, we can just leave. He'll come around eventually.
he'll come around eventually.
 
Ganelon: What IS the local signal range?
Enough to cover this building, I'm sure.
Apheori (GM): You check and find it should cover most of the city.
Frezak: Not that any of the dimensions mean anything at all here.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
So Greibel's just gone.
So Greibel's just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or not.
Or not. Space and time here are a bloody mess. Nothing means anything.
Space and time here are a bloody mess.
 
Nothing means anything.
RADEK
Wen: try dialing 911? >.> would that work?
(he scoffs)
Radek scoffs. "Literally bloody, in this case."
Literally bloody, in this case.
Wen: (or the Srathi equivalent)
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Apheori (GM): There's noone to call. You would have tried when you first found everyone gone.
(he looks around)
Wen: well, my radio wasn't working.
but okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
 
Well, whatever. There's nothing in range. >.<
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
RADEK
RADEK
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed.
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed. You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
We'll all lose our minds first.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Fair enough.
Fair enough. Let's go then.
Let's go then.
 
Ganelon: I consent to this "going."
The Gravedigger clomps off.
Frezak: Clomp, clomp, clomp.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
(poor Greibel)
(quietly)
Wen: so do we make it outside minus Greibel?
Poor Greibel.
Apheori (GM): Roll d20s.
 
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
Rhu:
 
rolling d20
 
(
EXT. Grassy plains - afternoon
18
 
)
Grassy plains roll into the distance, with majestic mountains marking one of the horizons. A huge, solitary tree rises out of one of the nearby knolls, shading the area around in dappled coolness as a slight breeze rustles its leaves. Birds are singing in its branches, and the entire thing has a wonderful feeling of beautiful peacefulness.
=
 
18
Greibel finds himself at the tree's base. It's quite comfortable, and he simply sits back and looks out at all the awesome nature.
Ganelon: SUPER SANE
 
Aziraphale:
The awesome nature continues to be awesome, filling him with feelings of welcome and comfort and warmth, like he has come home at last, without anything to worry about. It's a high better than any other, but without direct cause. It is just the place.
rolling 1d20
 
(
So it's awesome and Greibel is there and time fades away and he becomes one with the awesome.
4
 
)
Aaaand then it suddenly ends with a horrible tearing feeling/sound, and he feels only falling.
=
 
4
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
EXT. Park - weird-arse twilight
12
 
Apheori (GM): You all find another exit out the other side of the building. Do you take it, or continue back down to the exit with the chunk of metal on the stairs?
The party finds another exit out the other side of the building. It seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Frezak: Does this other exit appear obstructed at all?
 
Apheori (GM): Naw. Seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Aziraphale notices Radek starting to glow. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' Radek, on the other hand, feels... smarter than usual. Not that this would necessarily register as such. ''(rolled 20 reality)''
Frezak: Sure?
 
Guys?
Ganelon: Sure.
AZIRAPHALE
Yeah, why not
so long as it doesn't try to talk to me
Aziraphale shudders
Ganelon: Poor paladin, ever assaulted by temptations.
From inanimate objects.
Apheori (GM): And Radek starts glowing.
At least Azir thinks he does.
RADEK
RADEK
Hm.
Hm.
Ganelon: Oh. He doesn't notice?
 
Apheori (GM): Radek probably notices something, but not the glow itself.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Er, Radek, are you alright?
Er, Radek, are you alright?
RADEK
RADEK
I feel fine.
I feel fine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood.
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood. Of course he's fine.
Of course he's fine.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
well, only he's glowing
Well, only he's glowing. That or I'm going insane, or both. Probably both.
that or I'm going insane, or both
 
Probably both.
RADEK
RADEK
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
...Marvelous substance.
Apheori (GM): You all hear a loud crack from one of the trees in the park.
 
Greibel and a branch fall out.
A loud crack comes from one of the trees in the park. Greibel and a branch tumble out.
Frezak: Great.
 
We find a stoner.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Ow!
Ow!
Wen: is he in humanoid shape?
 
Frezak: How else would we recognise him?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, Greibel.
Hey, Greibel.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
What happened, man?
What happened, man?
RADEK
RADEK
You disappeared again.
You disappeared again.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Oh yeah
Oh yeah. It was so peaceful... I was in a field of nature. And I became one with the nature. The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
it was so peaceful...
I was in a field of nature.
And I became one with the nature.
The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
Much better than this place.
RADEK
RADEK
Welcome back to reality.
Welcome back to reality.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
But this was reality too!
But this was reality too!
RADEK
RADEK
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us.
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us. At least physically, if it can be helped.
At least physically, if it can be helped.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
RHU
RHU
And how did you wind up over here?
And how did you wind up over here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
magic.
Magic.
 
RHU
RHU
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
(To Bear Soup Guy): You may notice this tree looks suspiciously similar to the one you were under before, though a bit less healthy.
 
To Greibel, the tree looks suspiciously similar to the one he was under before, though a bit less healthy.
 
RADEK
RADEK
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree.
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree. For... ever, it feels like. Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
For...ever, it feels like
 
Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
RADEK
RADEK
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
So what do we do?
So what do we do?
RHU
RHU
Pray for a dead end.
Pray for a dead end.
RADEK
RADEK
I'd rather a solution.
I'd rather a solution.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
Ganelon: Ha. Chemistry joke
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
RHU
RHU
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck. Maybe your god can help us?
maybe your god can help us?
 
RHU
RHU
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Oh.
Oh.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
RHU
RHU
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds just great.
That sounds just great.
RHU
RHU
It does?
It does?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's pray so that we can mope.
Let's pray so that we can mope. Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
 
RHU
RHU
Yes! It will.
Yes! It will.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going to go look for a boat.
I'm going to go look for a boat.
(From Aziraphale): My god is called Carriya, yes? I lost the link >.>
 
He trudges off to check out the far side of the park.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey, I remember boats
(following)
(From Aziraphale): law, order and process.. I think?
Hey, I remember boats.
(To Wen): Yeah.
 
(From Aziraphale): okay.
The Gravedigger finds some car-ship thingies docked at the edge. They look fairly intact, so he checks to see if any have keys in, and still seem intact after further prodding and examination.
Aziraphale looks at the sky
 
(To Wen): You also probably consider Hazz'ridan to be a bit of a joke.
(From Aziraphale): I'm sure they are.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
(To Wen): Yes.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Wen: >.<
Apheori (GM): Gravedigger: The borders of the park have car-ship thingies docked at them.
Ganelon: We need to put on blinders.
Apheori (GM): They look fairly intact.
Frezak: I'll check to see if any have keys in and/or seem intact after prodding and examination.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Apheori (GM): Azir: You see the sky glowing with that same eiery glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
 
Azir: As you watch, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye.
Aziraphale looks at the sky. ''(rolled 5 reality)'' It seems to be glowing with that same eerie glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
 
As he watches, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye. It stares directly at Aziraphale. At, and possibly through.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAGH.
AAAAAGH.
Apheori (GM): Azir: It stares directly at you.
 
At, and possibly through.
Aziraphale averts his eyes.
Aziraphale averts his eyes
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20
Rhu stares at the sky in horror. ''(rolled 9 reality)''
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before. ''(rolled 10 reality)'' Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
(
 
13
The Gravedigger just doesn't look. A few vehicles he examines do look functional, but they'd need hotwiring.
)
 
=
Greibel pokes a car and it doesn't turn to dust. ''(rolled 13 reality)'' It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat. He looks at it disappointedly, but accepts this positive turn of fate.
13
 
Rhu:
He tries the door. It opens, and the roof retracts - it's a fairly nice convertible. He gets in and tries to start it.
rolling d20
 
(
CAR
9
Please enter your password.
)
 
=
Greibel smacks the navigation controls in frustration.
9
 
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
CAR
You poke a car and it doesn't turn to dust. It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat.
Welcome, Driver 2.
Greibel is disappointed but will accept this positive turn of fate
 
Ganelon: Oh, neat.
Frezak: 3
Apheori (GM): Rhu is just staring at the sky in horrow.
Gravy, fortunately for him, isn't looking at that. Yay Gravy.
Also Gravy doesn't find any vehicles that look like they'd work without hotwiring, though they do look functional.
Greibel tries the door of the car thing
Apheori (GM): Door opens, and the roof retracts. It's a fairly nice convertible thing.
Greibel tries to start it
Ganelon: I'll head over and check this functioning vehicle out.
Apheori (GM): It asks for a password.
Gan: d20
Frezak: Swordfish.
Greibel smacks the steering wheel/column/joystick/whatever in frustration
Apheori (GM): It accepts the smack as the password.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Nice!
Nice! I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye.
I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye
(yelling back at the others)
I found a thing guys!
I found a thing guys!
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Radek and the Gravedigger head over to check this out, and Aziraphale heads after too.
(
 
10
)
=
10
Frezak: I'll head over and look.
Apheori (GM): Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before.
RADEK
RADEK
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
Apheori (GM): Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
d20
(scooting into the back)
Rhu:
Radek, take the wheel.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Rhu finally recovers (slightly) and joins the others at the ship-car-thing as everyone piles in. Radek and the Gravedigger wind up in front, the rest in back with Greibel.
14
 
)
Then Greibel notices the sky. ''(rolled 5 reality)'' It's HORRIBLE.
=
 
14
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Ganelon: Preferable to staring, certainly.
Rhu recovers and joins the others at the ship-car-thing.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You notice the sky.
It's HORRIBLE.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Radek take the wheel
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY. THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN.
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY
 
THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Yes, yes, take it easy now.
Yes, yes, take it easy now. Radek, does the ship work?
Radek, does the ship work?
 
RHU
RHU
(he shudders, not looking up, decidedly not looking up)
It's just staring.
It's just staring.
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car thing
 
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car ship.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Greibel shivers in terror
 
Ganelon: Let's try it out.
Greibel shivers in terror.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
 
d20
Radek tries the controlls, but they refuse to cooperate, on a seemingly laws of physics level. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): RADEK
d20
Ganelon: Do the controls work?
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Damn.
Apheori (GM): The controls refuse to cooperate.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Does the radio work?
Does the radio work?
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
 
The sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat you and etc fades.
Greibel calms down a bit as the sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat him and etc fades away. ''(rolled 18 reality)'' Just a bad trip, that's all. It still looks horrible, but he just doesn't look at it.
It still looks horrible, but you just don't look at it.
 
Greibel calms a bit
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Ganelon: Sure, I'll try hitting it.
 
Apheori (GM): You hit it. Nothing really changes, but you wonder if maybe you just botched it at first?
Radek does. Nothing really changes, but then he just tries starting it like normal again. The Gravedigger pokes it too and after a few more tries it starts/
Ganelon: May I try again?
 
Apheori (GM): So Radek and Gravy are in the front, and everyone else is piled on the back, I suppose.
And yeah, you can.
Do it.
Roll.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Alas!
Poor Radek, I knew him well.
Frezak: can i lean over and poke the things?
Apheori (GM): You keep trying and it finally cooperates after a minute or two.
Frezak: oh, good.
Apheori (GM): You can poke all the things if you want.
Frezak: Nah, i'm good now.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Just don't break it
Just don't break it.
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Road trip, guys
Road trip, guys.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Alright! Destination?
Alright! Destination?
Apheori (GM): WHOO!
 
Go somewhere!
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
wait wait
Wait wait. Does the radio work?
Frezak: Check out one of the spaceship wrecks.
 
AZIRAPHALE
does the radio work?
Ganelon: Don't worry guys, I might be an old person behind the wheel, but I'm at least reasonably sane and not on drugs!
Frezak: Ideally the one that's not at the bottom of the sea.
THat you know of, Gan.
RHU
No, you're just part robot.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Tune in some jams!
Tune in some jams!
Ganelon: That I know of!
 
And sure, I'll mess with the radio.
Not expecting much of a broadcast.
Just more madness.
Apheori (GM): The radio buzzes and picks up some automated transmissions.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I meant like, for communication. Not music.
I meant like, for communication. Not music. Or does this ship not have that?
Or does this ship not have that?
 
Apheori (GM): Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises...
Radek flips through the channels. Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises, like a Geiger counter.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
eee.
Eee.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting /news/.
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting ''news''.
Frezak: LIke a giant bug monster or a Geiger counter?
 
Apheori (GM): The latter.
Frezak: Awesome.
Just. Great.
Wen: what's the range of this thing?
Apheori (GM): Should be able to cover the planet given time; the real issue seems to be speed since it's an open-top.
Ganelon: I think he meant the radio.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Who knows.
Ganelon: But hell if I know that answer.
AZIRAPHALE
I meant the ship. But sure, the radio too.
Oh.
Apheori (GM): Unless any of you specialise in leisure boats.
Frezak: So, wreck?
RHU
RHU
The sky...
The sky...
Ganelon: Can't say I do.
 
AZIRAPHALE
Sure.
Ganelon: Wreck sounds good unless someone else has a suggestion.
RADEK
RADEK
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
RHU
RHU
It's watching.
It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky.
 
Apheori (GM): RADEK
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky. The sky opens its eye and stares at him. ''(rolled 3 reality)'' It seems it did not approve of Radek's rude gestures.  
d20
 
Ganelon:
They fly the car-ship down toward the sea, headed for one of the nearby wrecks.
rolling 1d20
 
(
 
3
EXT. Car; open ocean - weird-arse twilight
)
 
=
Radek drives the car-ship over the ocean while everyone else goes bonkers around him. The sky is watching. The wind is missing. Everything is slightly wrong.
3
 
Apheori (GM): The sky opens its eye and stares at you.
At one point Greibel ''(rolled 4 reality)'' and Radek ''(rolled 3 reality)'' see another city in the distance, despite the maps saying it should just be ocean that way.
It seems it did not approve of your rude gestures.  
 
Ganelon: Good!
Radek takes a detour to fly toward the other city.
Apheori (GM): XD
 
Ganelon: Let's get a move on.
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
 
Okay, so you fly the boat down toward the sea.
Do you know which way the wreck was?
Frezak: We can compare on maps.
I'm assuming we made SOME sort of notes about the places we intended to visit.
Ganelon: Well, I as a player do not. It's merely a destination to me.
Apheori (GM): Does your character? >.>
Frezak: I was looking at it on a map a few hours ago.
Apheori (GM): Because if so I'm just inclined to say you go there, have you all roll sanity checks on the way, and move to the destination.
Great. You all go there.
Roll.
Ganelon: He was rather interested in the anomalous growth of power cells.
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Frezak: 7
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Bear Soup Guy: Gonna be a bumpy ride...
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
RHU
Greibel and Radek see another city in the distance on the way.
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you see it.
Everyone else feels the sky staring at them.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits.
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador
 
RHU
RHU
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking...
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking... the ways are blind.
The ways are blind.
 
Apheori (GM): RADEK
You wind up flying to the other city instead of the wreckage.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles.
Apheori (GM): RADEK
 
You realise this before you actually get there, though.
A bit later Radek realises he's gone off course and readjusts without saying anything to the others.
Ganelon: OLD MAN AT THE WHEEEL
 
Could we still reach the wreckage in a reasonable amount of time?
Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking, trying to make sense of it. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' It is something huge and powerful, and very important.
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
 
Ganelon: I'll turn that way, then.
Greibel, meanwhile, turns into a flock of pygmy moose in the back seat. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Ganelon: Radek would not remark about this to the others.
Aziraphale hears voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage. ''(rolled 9 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Everyone roll d20 again.
 
Heh.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Apheori (GM): Huh.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Frezak: 17
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now a herd of pygmy moose in the back seat.
Frezak: Wow. What a surprise.
Apheori (GM): Azir is hearing voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Wen: Oh good, I thought the seat cushion was going to talk to me.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking.
 
So. Wreckage. It's a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating.
EXT. Car above ship wreckage - weird-arse twilight
There are large blobulous things growing off it.
 
If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they're hollow.
The wreckage is a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating. There are large blobulous things growing off it. If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they might be hollow.
Frezak: Any way we can check that they're... volatile?
 
SHort of throwing crap at them?
Radek puts the car-ship in park hovering over the weckage, near the edge, positioned such that he can reach a relatively isolated blobulous thing. The Gravedigger has fallen asleep in the other seat, but the others watch.
Ganelon: Also, do we have a place to land?
 
Apheori (GM): The vehicle hovers, so you can park it wherever.
He examines it closely, using magic and stuff. ''(rolled 23 arcana)'' It seems to be alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. The things are growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy. While each blob seems to be a separate entity, they are all connected together. If he were to take one away, it would affect the others, though how is unclear.
Frezak: You could shoot them. Or someone could magic at them.
 
Gan: They look like the power cells, but now they're a lot bigger. And they've multiplied.
While he does this, the sky glares down, and blobulous things glow at everyone.
Ganelon: Find an isolated one first. If they explode, I want them.
 
Frezak: And that is the last resort.
Aziraphale stares.
>.>
 
DO we have no other way?
Can we NAture it?
Ganelon: I could attempt magic at them.
Frezak: To see if it ressembles explosive plants or something?
Apheori (GM): There's one near the edge that's fairly alone.
You hover over it.
Ganelon: Let's go for magic first. You've said pretty much everything is magical of some sort before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Do a magic!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
13
)
+10
=
23
Apheori (GM): And what exactly were you doing?
Ganelon: Trying to see what's happened to them.
Apheori (GM): Right, but how, I mean. What kind of magic did you use?
TEEEELL ME ALL.
Also the sky is still staring at you.
Ganelon: Well, I'm not attacking it.
Apheori (GM): >.>
Ganelon: I'll shoot the sky later.
I don't know what you mean by "kind of magic", though.
Apheori (GM): You discern that they are alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. They're growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy.
Ganelon: It's arcane magic with a structured and technical bias.
Is each glob a separate entity?
As in, could one be separated?
From... itself.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be, though they're also connected. Even if you took one away, the others would still... be... well, you're not quite sure.
Everyone: Blobbulous things glow at you.
Ganelon: I'm thinking more like cutting a piece off of one.
Apheori (GM): These, I mean.
You could try.
You don't know what would happen, or if it'd even notice.
Aziraphale stares
RADEK
RADEK
Anyone have a knife?
Anyone have a knife?
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I have a sword
I have a sword. That work?
that work?
 
RADEK
RADEK
Well enough.
Well enough.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You have knives.
 
Give him a knife.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Oh, I do?
(starting to get out his sword)
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Oh, I do have a knife.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife
 
Ganelon: Alright, let's bottle up some living power cell... flesh.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife instead.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
 
Ganelon:
Rhu pets the flock of moose.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Radek moves to cut off a sample, but then the blobulous things all start pulsating ''(rolled 5 reality)''. Instead, he steers the car-thing away, putting a hopefully safe distance between them.
5
 
)
=
5
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Frezak: 7
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Flock of moose. Roll.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You're a happy flock of moose.
GREIBEL
:D
Apheori (GM): Rhu pets the flock of moose.
RADEK
The entities start pulsating.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
Before or after I've cut into one?
Apheori (GM): You haven't cut yet.
You were about to, and then this happened.
Ganelon: Do these things still contain power?
Apheori (GM): Well, they're glowing.
So they probably contain at least some.
Ganelon: I don't know about future fuel cells, but all fuel is fundamentally a compressed power source.
Apheori (GM): They've been growing, though, so who knows what that means.
Ganelon: And I'd rather they not explode.
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Ganelon: So I'll steer us away.
Not too far that I can't observe.
RHU
RHU
Weren't you going to get a sample?
Weren't you going to get a sample?
RADEK
RADEK
They started moving.
They started moving. These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Azir: You saw no moving.
Greibel nuzzles everyone.
Just so you know.
 
Greibel nuzzles everyone
Apheori (GM): Oh gods I love the swarms.
This is awesome.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see.
Aziraphale sulks
 
Rhu puts a moose on Azir's lap.
Aziraphale sulks.
 
Rhu puts a pygmy moose on Azir's lap.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Ganelon: Rifle time.
 
Aziraphale watches attentively
Radek gets out his gun.
Apheori (GM): Which do you want to shoot?
 
Ganelon: The one we were near.
Aziraphale watches attentively.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm.
Ganelon: Shall I roll it?
 
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Radek fires at the blob he'd approached before and misses. ''(rolled 12)'' They quit moving, so he reloads and tries again, but still misses. ''(rolled 12)''
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
 
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You roll too.
Ganelon: Hmph.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): RADEK
You missed.
On the plus side they quit moving.
Ganelon: Reload and try again.
[Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Wow, it couldn't even be lower?
Apheori (GM): It could if you try again.
RADEK
RADEK
Hmph.
Hmph.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
 
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
He tries one last time and finally hits the blobulous glowing mutated power cell. ''(rolled 17)'' It just sort of deflates and stops glowing.
(
 
9
)
+3+5+0
=
17
RADEK
RADEK
I need to tune this thing.
I need to tune this thing.
Apheori (GM): You hit the glowing mutated power cell and it just sort of deflates.
 
Ganelon: Still glowing?
The moose squeal with delight.
Greibel squeels with delight
 
Apheori (GM): Then the others are getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the air around.
The other cells start getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the space around them. The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
Frezak: Bags of magic.
 
Apheori (GM): The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
RADEK
RADEK
Interesting reaction.
Interesting reaction.
Apheori (GM): The the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place.
 
An emptiness that is pulling your vehicle toward it as well.
Then the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place. An emptiness that is pulling the car-ship toward it as well.
Ganelon: WELP NO TIME FOR SCIENCE
 
RUNNING TIME NOW
Radek turns the car-ship around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises at first, but once it starts moving the pull becomes insignificant by comparison and the get clear of the anomaly. Radek stops once they seem to be clear.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
 
Ganelon:
Rhu, meanwhile, starts screaming. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
rolling 1d20
 
(
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak. It doesn't help.
8
 
)
=
8
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: BRB DISHES
Frezak: 5
Apheori (GM): Okay, lessee...
Frezak: Gravy is snoozing.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Radek turns the thing around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises, but you're far enough away that the pull isn't significant once you're actually moving.
But Rhu starts screaming.
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak
Apheori (GM): It doesn't help.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Fah.
Fah.
Frezak: I AM THE PIONEER OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL REMEDY TECHNIQUE.
 
HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL.
Agitated pygmy moose run around next to them. And over.
Ganelon: The haunted look of Azi's token is becoming a lot more relatable each day.
 
Frezak: yeah, he's a real downer;
The Gravedigger finally wakes up and hits Rhu with a shovel. ''(rolled 16 to bop)'' This successfully knocks him out, and he quits screaming as a result.
Apheori (GM): Azi was here for days. Now you all are feeling it too!
 
Frezak: i'm not.
Gravy's napping.
Apheori (GM): The screaming didn't wake him?
Frezak: He's thouroughly bored by the whole affair now.
Ganelon: Well, I'm feeling pretty awesome with this metallic skin-coating, really.
Frezak: Ah.
Well now he's probably grumpy at being woken up.
Not perturbed other than by the volume.
Apheori (GM): You stop away from the pull of the... hole that opened up. Rhu is still screaming.
Frezak: Can I lean over and knock him out for a bit?
Apheori (GM): Certainly.
But don't kill him.
Frezak: Just a bop on the head with a shovel.
Apheori (GM): Roll a shovel bopping.
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Is this wise?
Is that wise?
Frezak: Roll to bop:
 
rolling 1D20+6
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
(
 
10
The moose turn back into a Greibel with a pop.
)
 
+6
=
16
Just a light tap.
Bear Soup Guy: BOP ROLL
Also back and caught up
Apheori (GM): You successfully knock him out.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Roll a d20.
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess. It sure was fun being moose though.
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
 
Apheori (GM): The screaming has stopped, at least.
He finally notices the others: Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
Bear Soup Guy:
 
rolling 1d20
And the ship they went to investigate is just gone. Apparently it turned into a horrible hole in space.
(
 
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): You are now a rather agitated flock of pygmy moose. Probably something to do with the screaming.
But you are aware enough that you could stop being moose if you want to.
Greibel runs around a bit
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH.
It sure was fun being moose though
 
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH
RADEK
RADEK
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
 
You see Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
He directs the car-ship towards the city his mad self had been so intent on visiting before.
Frezak: Can we eaxamine the ship at all?
 
Apheori (GM): The one you're in?
On the way, Greibel ''(rolled 6 reality)'' and Aziraphale ''(rolled 8 reality)'' become entirely convinced the other is insane. And trying to kill them.
Frezak: No, the other one.
 
Ganelon: It's gone.
Greibel panics and shuffles over to the Gravedigger and tries to wake him up again.
Apheori (GM): The one that turned into a horrible hole in space?
 
Frezak: Oh, right.
>.>
Well, I have no idea.
What to do.
Ganelon: I'll head towards that city my mad self was so intent on visiting before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Everyone roll a d20.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Frezak: 13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Azir: You each become entirely convinced the other is insane.
Wen: well, I'd be right.
Apheori (GM): And trying to kill you.
Yes.
Wen: Oh crap.
GREIBEL
O_O
Frezak groans.
Greibel shuffles over to Frezak and tries to wake him up faster
GREIBEL
err, to the gravedigger
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHAT?
WHAT?
Apheori (GM): Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
 
Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON.
Oh, come ON.
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword
 
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword. It doesn't help.
 
RADEK
RADEK
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
Apheori (GM): RADEK
 
Do you just ignore this and go to the city?
AZIRAPHALE
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
Apheori (GM): Because you're almost there.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're all insane. Now shut up.
 
GREIBEL
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS.
 
Rhu is still screaming. Aziraphale hits him again.
 
Rhu finally runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead. Then he starts screaming again.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Quiet back there! Or I'll turn this ship around! And put you in holes!
 
Rhu stops screaming.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thank you.
 
The Gravedigger tries to resume his nap.
 
Greibel continues dancing around behind Gravy for protection from Aziraphale.
 
 
EXT. Partially invisible city - weird-arse twilight
 
Radek docks the car-shit next to something invisible, though to him and Greibel it looks very much like just another Sarathi city. This one is smaller than the first one they came to, and seems to have suffered considerably more damage.
 
Radek steps out like the grump he is. To the others it looks like he is standing on nothing.
 
Rhu is still utterly panicked and doesn't even notice.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON. More of this? Anyone have paint?
 
Aziraphale ''(rolled 12 reality)'' and Greibel ''(rolled 5 reality)'' finally realise they're actually not trying to kill each other and resume sanity. Or their versions of sanity. Which in Greibel's case doesn't mean much.
 
Greibel gets distracted by a cloud.
 
GREIBEL
Wheeeeee.
 
Aziraphale looks at Greibel and suddenly gets an urge to hug him.
 
AZIRAPHALE
So Radek, did you just go out for a quick smoke in mid air?
 
RADEK
No, I'm standing on solid ground. And I don't smoke.
 
GREIBEL
You should start, man. It's awesome.
 
RADEK
Undoubtedly.
 
AZIRAPHALE
What solid ground?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're all insane.
I don't see any ground.
Now shut up.
 
AZIRAPHALE
I mean, this is quite impressive and all. Or is this one of the perception issues again?
 
Aziraphale grumbles.
 
GREIBEL
GREIBEL
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS
Pala-dude, perception is just the gateway to the soul, man.
Apheori (GM): Rhu is still screaming.
 
Aziraphale hits again
Rhu sort of comes to his senses ''(rolled 10 reality)'', sees Radek standing on nothing, and realises he's probably lost it.
Apheori (GM): Rhu runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Also I should probably leave soon
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Bah.
Maybe we can find fancy glasses.
Bear Soup Guy: Well y'know, maybe
 
Like if we're gonna play a lot longer I can just stay
The Gravedigger pokes the 'ground' with a shovel. His second-best shovel, just in case. It clinks on stone.
Ganelon: I wouldn't mind. I do have other things that I'd like to do.
 
Bear Soup Guy: But if we'll be finished soon or other people need to do stuff or something then I should probably go to the store
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon: Writing things.
Augh damn it.
Bear Soup Guy: mmm
 
Wen: I think all of our in-game characters are feeling pretty miserable >.>
Aziraphale gingerly steps outside the vehicle. He winds up standing on nothing, and resolutely looks straight ahead.
Apheori (GM): I wonder if it's too late for me to go to the store too.
 
Heh.
The Gravedigger leaps out onto the nothing. Carefully. There is a loud crack as he lands.
Wen: even Greibel
 
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): So you want to leave them like this?
That wasn't me.
Ganelon: Well, he's being beat on by a sword.
 
Apheori (GM): Preserved in their misery?
RADEK
Ganelon: Like pickles?
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.
Frezak: I don't see it improving.
 
Wen: I'm fine with either that, or up to the next save point, so to speak.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak: And Gravy is more bored than miserable.
I don't want your consciousness. It's sad and grumpy.
Wen: well Azir can start saying crazy things to entertain him I guess. Maybe even lend him the free phone sex radio.
 
He's pretty much half insane by this point, even without the previous roll.
RADEK
Ganelon: Pfft. As if the radio talks sweet to anyone but you.
Hmph. Yours isn't exactly a prize worth fighting for either.
Frezak: he's tired of all this silly madness.
 
Wen: Blame the RNG!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak: You start to go somewhere, half the party goes mad, wait for them to recover, start moving, wait again, get where you were going, learn nothing, go back.
It's beyond price.
Rinse and repeat.
 
Maybe he could become a farmer.
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: Raise chickens.
This isn't sustainable. Even if we were standing on solid ground, we can't do anything when we can't see what's really around us.
Bear Soup Guy: Farmers do need good hole-digging skills
 
Ganelon: Well, probability dictates that when Apheori makes all of us perform dozens of sanity rolls every day, RNG will make something crazy occur.
GREIBEL
Frezak: Yeah, at least something he can DO.
You know what I do when I want to see what's really around me?
Ganelon: The odds of us getting lucky enough to avoid that are simply too low to ever reasonably occur.
 
Or unlucky.
AZIRAPHALE
Bear Soup Guy: Pah! Odds are for scientists!
No. And I don't really want to know.
Apheori (GM): Well, let's get you all down on the city, at least.
 
Ganelon: I mean, depends on your perspective regarding sanity.
Aziraphale grumbles some more.
Frezak: I know that the expedition hasn't been exactly fruitful so far.
 
Except for Greibel when he fell from a tree.
GREIBEL
Wen: hee.
Your loss, dude.
Frezak: That was sort of fruit-like behavior.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Fruits grow from trees
Greibel smokes some drugs.
Frezak: Strange Fruit.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Trees take patience to grow
The sky is watching like a wretched abyss.
Frezak: Stoner fruit.
 
Bear Soup Guy: =D
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): brb bathroom.
Okay well, I'm going to shower and go to the store then I guess
 
Ganelon: Alright.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SKY IN THE BATHROOM. IT'S WATCHING YOU THERE TOO.
Conditions will surely improve eventually!
 
Bear Soup Guy: Good game guys! Are we doing next Monday then?
The (invisible) ground creaks underfoot.
Apheori (GM): They will.
 
Ganelon: I could do Monday.
Radek does some magic to try to stabilise things. ''(rolled 26 arcana)'' A couple of buildings fall down, though none particularly closeby.
Wen: I probably won't be too busy until the end of next week-ish (first week of school). After that I don't know.
 
Frezak: I don't have anything planned.
Everything shimmers. And rumbles. This much everyone can see and hear.
Wen: it'll have to start a bit later though
 
since iirc I have class between 11something and 12something.
Aziraphale goes back in the car-ship and starts to tend to Rhu's mostly shovel-inflicted injuries, but gets distracted by the rubbling rumbles. He tries to see what did it, but just winds up hearing a horrible high-pitched whine ''(rolled 4 perception (natural 1))''.  
or you could just start and I could just tag along and start playing when I'm around.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Aziraphale winces.
Bye for now then
 
Wen: bye.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): So an hour later?
RAdek? Can you do something so we can see what's going on? Because it sounds like holes.
Ganelon: I'll be around at the same time as always.
 
Wen: I might be 5-10 minutes late, but that should work.
RADEK
Frezak: This is usually the sort of time I'm looking at stopping.
I'm trying.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Wen: it's pretty long even if you take away an hour >.<
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): And we have to wait a month for Ellemerr?
Does anyone else hear that noise?
Bah.
 
Frezak: We: Sunday my game spend 12 hours at a fair.
RHU
Wen: Apheori: I _would_ appreciate it if we spent less time going insane and trying to become sane again >.<
Yes, we all hear the rumbling.
o_O
 
Apheori (GM): Wen: It gets worse before it gets better. But you're basically at the bottom now.
The rumbling and creaking is becoming more insistent, building up in intensity. Meanwhile the sky is a massive hole and wants to eat everyone.
Congratulations!
 
Wen: heh.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, on that cheerful note, adios. :P
There's this... high pitched noise. Real unpleasant. Looks like reality is mucking about.
Ganelon: It was the best fair.
 
Action, drama, suspense, failed attempts at romance... we had it all.
GREIBEL
Frezak: Alchoholism.
This reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Oh wait, no, it was a movie. Never mind.
Ganelon: A lot of that, yes.
 
Frezak: Fortunes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TONS OF PLOT.
I think I'm gonna get back in the car now.
More plot than you know.
 
Apheori (GM): You people and your plots.
He does so.
Frezak: Maybe.
 
Wen: So far we've mostly had going to places, becoming insane, not finding very much, and then going back to where we came from.
AZIRAPHALE
Minus some sanity.
Ye-ah. Might be a good idea.
Frezak: Yeah, Azi told us about the science experiment.
 
And.
Greibel senses a squirrel he can't see. ''(rolled 5 reality)''
That's about it, i think.
 
We are shit investigators.
Buildings are collapsing.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, well, if you all would stop AVOIDING the damn continuation thingies...
 
Wen: You could like, push us towards them >_>
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): There is a very important something that's supposed to happen and you keep... avoiding them.
Hmmmm.
Wen: Instead of letting us make the bad decisions that stagnate the plot.
 
Apheori (GM): Like you're almost there and then you're like, no, nevermind.
The place is rumbling and cracking.
Frezak: THEN MAKE THINGS UP.
 
Apheori (GM): But you're the players! You make decisions!
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: You control Rhu! Rhu could know what's going on.
Guys, let's get back in the ship.
Apheori (GM): And I AM making things up!
 
Ghuh.
Radek does.
Ganelon: I don't really know that I'm missing important stuff.
 
Wen: Guarav is almost certainly better at this thing than I am. >_>
Aziraphale reenters the car-ship as well.
Frezak: I let my party cause a willage to be burt to the ground just to get them to advance.
 
Apheori (GM): You know what?
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it. >.>
Fine.
 
FINE.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Words no one has ever said before qithout smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
Frezak: What?
 
Apheori (GM): You'll see.
The sky seems... lower. The shimmering is also much more intense.
Wen: >.>
 
I think we should be worried.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM) goes back to choking on her tea.
I miss my tree, man.
Frezak: I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB
 
Wen: I mean, I get that the lava lamp thing is important. But... there's no obvious way to interact with it.
RADEK
Frezak: The finding things out bit, not the digging holes bit.
So if you don't want to land on the clearly visible city, which is now admittedly collapsing, by the way, where are we headed?
Wen: I look at the sky and I see an eye staring at me.
 
Frezak: We could fly into the sky >.>
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Stop fighting the madness. Embrace it.
Let's check out the sky?
Become one with it.
 
Or something.
Almost as if in answer to the question, reality collapses in on itself, and everything goes knurd.
Okay, fine, I admit it. I enjoy watching you all lose your minds.
 
Frezak: I'm being as mad as my character warants.
GREIBEL
If you're telling ME I'm not mad enough, WELL.
Woah. I haven't seen knurd in ages.
Apheori (GM): I was kidding.
 
Wen: I'm not very good at being mad. I think I designed my character to be pretty much in line with my own personality. >.<
This is the last thing they hear before everyone passes out.
Apheori (GM): Your character has done excellently.
</screenplay>
Wen: I should have probably made it more caricatured.
It could maybe, I dunno, hook up with a wall.
maybe that'll lead to things
Wen grins
Ganelon: Whoa now.
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
Ganelon: Do you have a plug?
Frezak: The wall will.
Once he gets it in.
Wen: I have more than a plug. I have a 65W power brick.
Apheori (GM): Woah woah woah.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Ganelon: I could intimidate more obstacles if you like.
Apheori (GM): The obstacles love you.
Frezak: Or lust.
Wen: Apheori: it might be a good idea to remind me about this thing on Sunday, if you can remember. >.>
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Wen: Thanks.
Apheori (GM): If I remember.
Wen: Yes.
Or you could play 2PCs >_>
Apheori (GM): Ghuh.
Wen: I'll try to remember, but I'm not too good at remembering stuff a week away.
Apheori (GM): Neither am I.
Wen: I'm off to get dinner. Laters.
</pre>


{{holes nav
{{holes nav

Latest revision as of 03:15, 1 March 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 3 (raw log) (Overview)
EXT. Sarathi parking lot - night
The Gravedigger is digging a hole in a potted tree, which first involves digging up said tree, then carefully piling the swarm of undead chickens into the hole.
Radek is drawing circles on the ground as part of a ritual to fix Aziraphale's sword; Aziraphale is watching him, but also just very happy to be outside.
Greibel is a moose. Rhu is just sort of standing around, but then starts staring at something in abject horror. (rolled 9 reality)
Greibel stops being a moose with a loud pop and wanders over to watch Radek do shiny circle stuff as well.
There is a loud messy-sounding WHOMP from the other end of the lot.
AZIRAPHALE
(startled)
What was that noise?
Greibel looks toward the WHOMP and shrugs.
Gravy finishes burying the chickens and packs the earth really tight around them before turning and squinting in the direction the sound came from.
GREIBEL
It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP.
AZIRAPHALE
What kind of WHOMP?
The Gravedigger charges toward the WHOMP.
Aziraphale walks cautiously after him.
They get to the area and it appears that the sound was something very large and squishy going splat on the pavement. Random globs and hunks and bits of bone are scattered around the mess.
GREIBEL
Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Many globs.
But. If there's something I've learnt, it's that there are always new globs.
GREIBEL
What a nice thought.
The Gravedigger looks at the globs for a moment to try to identify them. (rolled 28 perception (natural 20))
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That used to be a small dragon. There's also...
The Gravedigger rummages through the globs and pulls out something metal.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THIS.
The Gravedigger holds up a half-digested light fixture.
AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, that's odd. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?
AZIRAPHALE
I've never seen them, certainly.
GREIBEL
Does it shine groovy colors?
The dragon globs and splatter starts to glow.
The Gravedigger drops the light fixture and scoots back toward Radek.
GREIBEL
This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DO dragons normally glow?
Aziraphale mutters something.
RADEK
Dragons?
Aziraphale is really muttering now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dead glowy dragon here.
Aziraphale mutters some more.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?
GREIBEL
I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary.
AZIRAPHALE
(still mumbling)
Something something Alesvrie something.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
STOP MUMBLING.
Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably.
The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.
AZIRAPHALE
(finally looking up)
I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!
AZIRAPHALE
This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What. Were you mucking about with SCIENCE? Gaaaaah. RADEEEEEK!
RADEK
Don't you even start.
AZIRAPHALE
Not me. My employer was.
RADEK
What was the experiment?
GREIBEL
Lava lamps, I bet.
AZIRAPHALE
Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.
RADEK
I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.
Greibel notices the sky. (rolled 8 reality) It looks horribly wrong. Like a lava lamp. A hungry lava lamp.
GREIBEL
Woooah. Guys, look at the sky! That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!
The others look up. To them, the sky seems to be the wrong colour, perhaps as though the light is going the wrong direction. And there are cracks. Nothing about it resembles a hungry lava lamp, however. (rolled 17 (Gravy), 17 (Radek), and 14 (Azir) reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well that's queer.
GREIBEL
I quite agree, Horseman.
RHU
It's glowing. Mutating.
AZIRAPHALE
So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea... what's next?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead chickens? No, wait, we did that.
RHU
More?
AZIRAPHALE
I sincerely hope not.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Big piles of money?
AZIRAPHALE
That'd be nice.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sandwiches?
AZIRAPHALE
A ship that works would be nicer. I just want to get the hell out of this place now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eventually there won't be any bad things.
AZIRAPHALE
Bad things never run out. It's the way of things.
Aziraphale mutters darkly.
GREIBEL
Nonsense. After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel, there will be no bad things.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.
RHU
There is a pile of money over here, actually.
Rhu points to a pile of money on the ground behind one of the broken ship-cars.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What? Money?
The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.
Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously and pokes it with his borrowed spade.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Careful with that. It's an antique.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can I have my sword back?
RADEK
(handing over the sword)
Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.
AZIRAPHALE
Mucha gracias. Does anyone object if I keep the money? As in, keep it with me.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm here to bury things.
Greibel shrugs too.
GREIBEL
I'm here to... why am I here anyway?
Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.
AZIRAPHALE
Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now.
He hands it back to the Gravedigger.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're welcome.
Aziraphale tries to gather up the money and discovers that it's too much to conveniently carry.
AZIRAPHALE
Okay, what about we split it? Eggs in more than one basket and all that.
GREIBEL
Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs.
RADEK
Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's split it anyway.
Aziraphale divides it into rough fifths and they all scoop up their shares, paying more attention to the dead splattered dragon than to the money.
The dragon is still glowing. Like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.
Greibel examines the dragon. (rolled 31 nature (natural 20))
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): SUPER NATURE.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU.
Greibel sees the universe glowing in the dragon. It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered, the form of a dreloth pulled apart and inverted.
GREIBEL
It was definitely a pet Dreloth!
RADEK
Why is it glowing?
Greibel takes out a wooden pipe.
GREIBEL
I'm going to find out!
AZIRAPHALE
Um, are we sure this is a good idea?
Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it.
RHU
I'm pretty sure it isn't.
RADEK
That hasn't stopped him before.
GREIBEL
I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH.
RHU
(in amazement)
This is probably why we brought him.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Smoking expertise? I thought we were just the only people that would come here.
RADEK
(shouting)
Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?
GREIBEL
It seems volatily delicious!
The Gravedigger edges away from Greibel in case he explodes. Or melts. Or glows. Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.
GREIBEL
Mmmm. Well, it doesn't seem dangerous.
RADEK
Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.
Radek approaches and attempts to dig around the splattered dragon corpse. The Gravedigger offers him his second-best shovel, and Radek gathers up some alchemical ingredients (120g worth).
Greibel stands nearby looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling.
Rhu notices the light fixture lying on the ground and pockets it.
The Gravedigger pokes one of the busted ships/cars for glowy cells. It falls to pieces like it just sort of disintegrated, leaving behind a pile of spaceship dust.
AZIRAPHALE
Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?
The Gravedigger goes to poke some more ships.
AZIRAPHALE
Wait! Was the concreteness an illusion?
The Gravedigger commences poking. A couple of the other poked ships also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the rest seem quite solid. Quite a few of them have holes through them, some punched, others neatly sliced.
There is also a much larger hole in the ground where, presumably, an entire ship used to be.
GREIBEL
Nice poking, Horseman!
AZIRAPHALE
I suggest we search one of the bigger ships and see what we can find.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TIME! Some of these have been aged. I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.
RADEK
You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That would be great. I'd have more years left to dig holes.
RADEK
Not for the rest of us.
Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience. He was likely the king of the sandbox.
AZIRAPHALE
Let's look at the open topped ones first.
They do this and find a spaceboat that's entirely full of peas. There also appear to be some bones in it.
RADEK
(peering inside)
...I used to love peas.
The Gravedigger rises to the task and digs through the peas, unearthing (or perhaps unpeaing) enough bones to form several giant chickens, as well as a large fireball gun and a bucket of purple paint at the bottom of the boat.
GREIBEL
Mercenary artists!
The Gravedigger hands the gun over to Radek. Radek scraps some peas off the display and finds it to be about half-charged.
RADEK
I remember these things. One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.
AZIRAPHALE
How many deaths before it was pulled? ...it was pulled, yes?
RHU
Nope.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dibs.
AZIRAPHALE
...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.
Greibel scoffs at the gun.
RADEK
Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!
Frezak (Gravy): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.
Apheori (GM): Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.
Frezak (Gravy): THE SQUASH.
RADEK
Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore. It's half full.
AZIRAPHALE
Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?
RADEK
Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.
AZIRAPHALE
Damn.
Radek instead sits down to try reading some of the video logs they pulled.
The Gravedigger goes back to poking random things to see what turns to dust. One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust. He runs around in a circle, causing the dust to trail behind him like a cloak. He sneezes.
Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust. Then he turns and sees the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them. They appear to have sprouted fangs. (rolled 11 reality)
GREIBEL
AH FANGED PEAS.
Aziraphale eyes Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
Are you okay?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, be quiet Greibel. I'M THE KING OF DUST.
GREIBEL
OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE.
The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.
GREIBEL
Actually sometimes that would be quite okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DUSSSSST.
GREIBEL
I guess it's not so bad until they attack.
The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.
Maanwhile Radek goes through the footage from the security center. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.
RADEK
I don't have a cure for that.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS.
Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth.
RADEK
There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.
The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
Anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?
The Gravedigger puts Greibel down and comes over to see what Radek is doing.
Greibel wipes the dust off himself.
Radek toggles the timestamps - they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well). Plants and other decor also seems to change between jumps.
AZIRAPHALE
So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time. Odd.
RADEK
No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.
GREIBEL
Stair fish...
Greibel nods in agreement.
AZIRAPHALE
Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back.
RADEK
Certainly.
The recent stuff reveals far stranger as he switches between the cameras. Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Aziraphale staring down a floating fish in abject horror.
The Gravedigger goes to look around for another bit of clear dirt.
AZIRAPHALE
Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.
Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red. Everything is blue. Everything is black. More empty rooms. That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.
GREIBEL
Hey, I saw her!
More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static. For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.
RADEK
I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but... Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Find a communications tower? Power it up, ping a sattelite?
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
The control core cameras reveal fairly normal activity (though there are jumps here, too) up until it had no activity. Then there is just nothing.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
Nothing.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
Nothing.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... That's odd. Is the footage of us accurate?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I better not have a beetle on my back.
Radek searches some more and finds a segment with them in it. They see the door dent, Aziraphale's sword poke in and get bent out of shape, and then he and Gravy entering the room. None of the others come in. Then they leave almost immediately, looking a bit startled at somthing.
RADEK
Well, that can't be right...
AZIRAPHALE
No, it can't.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS. MAYBE.
GREIBEL
What if you're the ghost?
The footage changes to become very, very confusing, but keeps going. Nobody's quite sure what they're watching after that, but it's still the room, shifted a bit blue. Which is weird, because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
AZIRAPHALE
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts. Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes? Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment was related to what happened...
RADEK
I know that they're best left not tampered with.
GREIBEL
Oh man, this sounds groovy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You said they were bringing things here from another dimension. The thing is just working backwards. Taking things from here to there. WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
RHU
You've never been to a zoo?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No?
RHU
I am so sorry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
They don't let you dig holes in zoos.
RHU
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Mucking about with science.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm not sure. I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
Greibel suddenly develops an intense interest in paint. (rolled 8 reality)
GREIBEL
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's still in the ship.
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing appeared at the time.
RHU
Did the shielding fail? That's what shielding is for, right?
AZIRAPHALE
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside. And then when we went outside everyone was just gone. So the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside. He mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions, and that if it happened it would have destabilized outside of the range, or something.
Greibel goes to the spaceboat with the fanged peas and the paint can.
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
GREIBEL
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Greibel grabs the can of paint and starts hugging it like it's his favourite ever. (rolled 4 reality)
GREIBEL
I LOVE THIS PAINT. I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
The Gravedigger looks dubiously down at him.
Greibel takes some paint out and splashes it around a bit.
The Gravedigger wanders off to loot some more ship-cars. He finds some random stuff - keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
He puts the cloak around his neck like a poncho. It makes him feel kind of fuzzy.
RADEK
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments. And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area. Much less... this wrong.
RHU
Maybe the shielding exploded. Maybe...
(he notices Greibel)
What... is he doing?
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Being a stoner.
RADEK
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself. Then he realises he can't actually see or breathe with this on, which is kind of a problem, and pulls it off. (rolled 17 reality) He's a bit confused as to why he even did that in the first place, but only a little bit.
GREIBEL
(to Gravy)
Heeeey, nice cape, man. Real Vincent Price.
Aziraphale suddenly sees tentacles everywhere. (rolled 1 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAAGH. TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
GREIBEL
Whoa, WHERE? Tentacles are AWESOME.
AZIRAPHALE
EVERYWHERE.
The Gravedigger plods over and puts the shiny cloak over Aziraphale's head.
AZIRAPHALE
Mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Shhhhhh. They're gone.
Greibel pats Aziraphale reassuringly on what is probably his shoulder.
GREIBEL
Don't worry bro, just ride it out.
Aziraphale calms down a bit, realising the tentacles aren't actually harming anything even if they are real. He stops struggling.
The Gravedigger pulls off the cloak. Now Aziraphale still sees the tentacles, but realises they're not actually there. (rolled 20 reality) Greibel seems to be their king.
Then he shakes his head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's like dealing with children. So, where do we go now? The old lab or try to send a report back?
AZIRAPHALE
I don't want to go back to that building.
Radek is still going through the footage. He finds some logs of the invisible shop that was there but wasn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
It's full of fallen leaves.
Ganelon (Radek): Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision." My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
Frezak (Gravy): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Radek seems to be about done at this point and gets up.
AZIRAPHALE
Let's go to the comm tower.
Greibel stares absently up at the lava lamp sky. It looks totally awesome.
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking, but just sees cracks. They're still there. The light is still wrong. It makes him feel kind of ill.
He stops looking and shrugs.


EXT. STAIRS LEADING UP TO COMM TOWER - weird-arse twilight
The sky may or may not seem to be lightening. It's hard to say.
In the meantime, the party comes to the building in question. There are stairs leading up to the entrance, but there is unfortunately also a large chunk of twisted metal across the base, forming a wall blocking the way.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, would the toy gun be able to blast through that? Well, let's examine it first, I think.
GREIBEL
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it.
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly.
GREIBEL
The universe is changing...
Rhu walks through wall like it's not even there.
RHU
Yep.
RADEK
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
The Gravedigger tries to walk through as well, but carefully. He finds it solid.
AZIRAPHALE
let's all try?
They do. Greibel makes it through. (rolled 9 reality) The others do not.
GREIBEL
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
RADEK
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
The Gravedigger tries to muscle the block of metal aside, but it's too huge to budge by conventional means. (rolled 19 reality)
Aziraphale tries to talk to it. (rolled 2 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass? ...I have candy!
GREIBEL
That's the spirit, holy brother.
BLOCK OF METAL
Hey, sexy. What kind of candy?
None of the others can hear it, just Aziraphale and possibly Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
King-sized Snickers.
BLOCK OF METAL
Oooo, you are a babe.
AZIRAPHALE
You can have it if you let us pass!
BLOCK OF METAL
Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
AZIRAPHALE
This isn't the first wall that talked to me. I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Frezak (Gravy): NO. I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL. I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
Wen (Aziraphale): Aw.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek and puts him down a bit further away from the block of metal.
Aziraphale walks into the wall chunk thing. As he passes through, it makes strange squelching noises. He feels rather dirty when he comes out the other side, and down a candybar.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Move aside, crazy people! IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's get out of the way.
Rhu goes to try the door the wall was blocking.
The folks on the other side move up the stairs, away from the block of metal.
The Gravedigger levels the gun at the block of meta and shoots a fireball, only to have it go right through and explode on the stairs on the other side, below Greibel and Rhu. (rolled 2 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SORRY.
GREIBEL
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous.
The block of metal starts sobbing quietly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH? DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE. JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
GREIBEL
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And I'm the crazy one for pouring paint on my head?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Azi talked to it. You didn't call HIM crazy!
GREIBEL
Well Aziraphale is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Talk to them, apparently.
GREIBEL
Apparently.
AZIRAPHALE
HEY! I don't normally talk to walls.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So you SAY.
GREIBEL
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall.
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
RADEK
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want to try, Radek? I'll let you have a turn.
He passes the gun to Radek.
RADEK
Very well.
Radek shoots the wall, and the fireball goes right through again. (rolled 4 reality) He hands the weapon back to the Gravedigger.
Aziraphale hears the wall chunk screaming, and shudders slightly.
GREIBEL
(to Aziraphale)
It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly.
The Gravedigger finally just stows his shield and climbs over the thing, leaving Radek behind. (rolled 18 athletics)
Radek then approaches the wall. (rolled 7 reality) The wall chunk sits there.
RADEK
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
The wall chunk continues to sit there.
RADEK
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle. (rolled 11 reality)
From the other side:
RHU
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
GREIBEL
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
The wall starts trembling in fear. Everyone sees it.
RADEK
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
The wall is still trembling.
To Aziraphale, it sounds as though the wall is apologising.
Radek pokes it again. (rolled 9 reality) The poke goes through.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have rope!
Radek attempts to pass through the wall. (rolled 20 reality) He walks into the wall. It resists, but he is sick and tired of this and manages to pass through anyway. When he comes out the other side, however, he's covered in a strange metallic film.
RADEK
Fascinating.
GREIBEL
Groovy.
Radek realises he can't breathe. Then he realises it doesn't seem to matter. He feels fine. He feels better than he has in quite awhile, in fact.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So are you a robot now?
GREIBEL
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard.
RADEK
I haven't the faintest idea.
RHU
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
RADEK
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
RHU
(pointing back)
The door won't open.
Now that everyone's over, they give it a proper look. It's a glass slidey door with an electric lock.
Radek starts getting out his electronic tinkering tools.
GREIBEL
Or we could break the glass...
Greibel taps the glass with his staff.
Rhu hits it with his maul. It cracks.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man.
RADEK
Gladly.
Radek slams the glass surface with all the force of a single emaciated old man. It partly melts and partly shatters. Some bits stick to him and dissolve into the strange metallic film.
Ganelon (Radek): He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Radek climbs through.
GREIBEL
Wicked.
Greibel and the others follow.


INT. HALLWAY - weird-arse twilight
It's not terribly interesting. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
GREIBEL
Hey, what day is it?
Greibel rubs his stomach absently. It's not even clearly day. The sun disappeared at some point, but the stars never came out and now the sky has just been glowing weirdly with cracks.
GREIBEL
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
RADEK
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to. Well, you can. I'll do without.
The Gravedigger heads for the stairs, and the others follow.


INT. STAIRWELL
It's stairs.
Gravy (rolled 18 reality) and Rhu (rolled 4 (reality) hear strange noises and what might be voices.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I hear noises.
RHU
Voices?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
RADEK
I don't.
RHU
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome. Let's keep going.
AZIRAPHALE
I hear nothing.
GREIBEL
I always hear things. But no more than usual.
They climb the stairs. A lot. Aziraphale and Rhu flag a little bit behind because it's pretty exhausting. Along the way, absolutely nothing weird happens.
For whatever reason, Radek keeps up just fine.
Aziraphale has a horrible thought and hurriedly catches up.
Rhu gets left a bit behind and then collapses. (rolled 4 reality)
AZIRAPHALE)
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well? Pick him up!
Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off. (rolled 1 reality)
GREIBEL
Oik!
AZIRAPHALE
I think we'd better take a rest. Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door. There is something very important on the other side that he simply must get to.
Gravy grabs the swarm of bats. (rolled 22 against swarm reflex)
He drags the swarm of bats up the stairs, and they struggle mightily as they are pulled away from the door.
AZIRAPHALE
(now dragging Rhu)
Can we get him to turn back?
Maybe we should check out that door?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(not stopping)
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful. Always pointing out useful things.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, why else did you bring him?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not my choice.
Greibel flaps around.
Finally the party reaches the floor they were after.


INT. CORRIDOR etc
Everyone spills out. Aziraphale drops Rhu, and Greibel finally calms down and forgets what made him so agitated (rolled 13 reality).
Greibel stops being bats and Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Rhu gets up.
RHU
This feels like a dead end.
Aziraphale follows the blood. He notices footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with the draggee. They appear to be hooflike.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Aziraphale follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut. He cautiously attempts to turn the handle, and the door comes open at a touch, not even latched.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors. There's some other equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
AZIRAPHALE
Eugh.
Unfortunately this also seems to be the room they were after.
GREIBEL
(from the doorway)
Like I always say, the room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened.
RHU
Hazz'ridan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
GREIBEL
Come again?
RHU
A dead end.
GREIBEL
Well...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Some things might still work.
Greibel suddenly disappears. (rolled 1 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
GREIBELLLLL!
To Rhu (rolled 9 reality) and Aziraphale (rolled 6 reality), it feels as though the room has begun to slide.
Aziraphale backs out of the room, trying to keep his balance.
Radek feels the sliding even harder, and falls over, landing in the blood. (rolled 3 reality) His silvery coating absorbs a small amount, but other than that he remains clean.
Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
The Gravedigger backs out of the room and sits down with his head in his hands, and then Rhu backs into him.
Radek stands up again after a moment and looks around. There seems to be less blood now.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything. The blood also doesn't smell/feel quite right, but it's not even clear what kind it is. Or if Radek is even capable of smell.
He heads back outside as well, not running into the others.
Everyone is in the hall, aside from Greibel, who is just gone.
RADEK
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
RADEK
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
RHU
But?
RADEK
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
Aziraphale checks his phone. He hears a suggestive voice come out and try to chat him up. (rolled 3 reality)
He resolutely ignores it and stuffs the thing back in his pocket.
Frezak (Gravy): Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Radek tries his radio. (rolled 13 reality) It turns on, but complains about the low signal strength, and locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, this isn't very helpful.
AZIRAPHALE
How are we going to look for Greibel?
RADEK
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
RHU
What's the local signal range?
He checks his own radio.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, we can just leave. He'll come around eventually.
AZIRAPHALE
So Greibel's just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or not. Space and time here are a bloody mess. Nothing means anything.
RADEK
(he scoffs)
Literally bloody, in this case.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ho. Ho. Ho.
(he looks around)
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
RADEK
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed. You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
AZIRAPHALE
Fair enough. Let's go then.
The Gravedigger clomps off.
AZIRAPHALE
(quietly)
Poor Greibel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?


EXT. Grassy plains - afternoon
Grassy plains roll into the distance, with majestic mountains marking one of the horizons. A huge, solitary tree rises out of one of the nearby knolls, shading the area around in dappled coolness as a slight breeze rustles its leaves. Birds are singing in its branches, and the entire thing has a wonderful feeling of beautiful peacefulness.
Greibel finds himself at the tree's base. It's quite comfortable, and he simply sits back and looks out at all the awesome nature.
The awesome nature continues to be awesome, filling him with feelings of welcome and comfort and warmth, like he has come home at last, without anything to worry about. It's a high better than any other, but without direct cause. It is just the place.
So it's awesome and Greibel is there and time fades away and he becomes one with the awesome.
Aaaand then it suddenly ends with a horrible tearing feeling/sound, and he feels only falling.


EXT. Park - weird-arse twilight
The party finds another exit out the other side of the building. It seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Aziraphale notices Radek starting to glow. (rolled 4 reality) Radek, on the other hand, feels... smarter than usual. Not that this would necessarily register as such. (rolled 20 reality)
RADEK
Hm.
AZIRAPHALE
Er, Radek, are you alright?
RADEK
I feel fine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood. Of course he's fine.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, only he's glowing. That or I'm going insane, or both. Probably both.
RADEK
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
A loud crack comes from one of the trees in the park. Greibel and a branch tumble out.
GREIBEL
Ow!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, Greibel.
GREIBEL
What happened, man?
RADEK
You disappeared again.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah. It was so peaceful... I was in a field of nature. And I became one with the nature. The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
RADEK
Welcome back to reality.
GREIBEL
But this was reality too!
RADEK
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us. At least physically, if it can be helped.
GREIBEL
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
RHU
And how did you wind up over here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Magic.
RHU
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
To Greibel, the tree looks suspiciously similar to the one he was under before, though a bit less healthy.
RADEK
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
GREIBEL
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree. For... ever, it feels like. Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
RADEK
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
GREIBEL
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality.
AZIRAPHALE
So what do we do?
RHU
Pray for a dead end.
RADEK
I'd rather a solution.
AZIRAPHALE
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
RHU
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
GREIBEL
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
AZIRAPHALE
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck. Maybe your god can help us?
RHU
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
RHU
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds just great.
RHU
It does?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's pray so that we can mope. Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
RHU
Yes! It will.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going to go look for a boat.
He trudges off to check out the far side of the park.
GREIBEL
(following)
Hey, I remember boats.
The Gravedigger finds some car-ship thingies docked at the edge. They look fairly intact, so he checks to see if any have keys in, and still seem intact after further prodding and examination.
GREIBEL
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Aziraphale looks at the sky. (rolled 5 reality) It seems to be glowing with that same eerie glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
As he watches, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye. It stares directly at Aziraphale. At, and possibly through.
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAGH.
Aziraphale averts his eyes.
Rhu stares at the sky in horror. (rolled 9 reality)
Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before. (rolled 10 reality) Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
The Gravedigger just doesn't look. A few vehicles he examines do look functional, but they'd need hotwiring.
Greibel pokes a car and it doesn't turn to dust. (rolled 13 reality) It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat. He looks at it disappointedly, but accepts this positive turn of fate.
He tries the door. It opens, and the roof retracts - it's a fairly nice convertible. He gets in and tries to start it.
CAR
Please enter your password.
Greibel smacks the navigation controls in frustration.
CAR
Welcome, Driver 2.
GREIBEL
Nice! I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye.
(yelling back at the others)
I found a thing guys!
Radek and the Gravedigger head over to check this out, and Aziraphale heads after too.
RADEK
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
GREIBEL
(scooting into the back)
Radek, take the wheel.
Rhu finally recovers (slightly) and joins the others at the ship-car-thing as everyone piles in. Radek and the Gravedigger wind up in front, the rest in back with Greibel.
Then Greibel notices the sky. (rolled 5 reality) It's HORRIBLE.
GREIBEL
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY. THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN.
AZIRAPHALE
Yes, yes, take it easy now. Radek, does the ship work?
RHU
(he shudders, not looking up, decidedly not looking up)
It's just staring.
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car ship.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Greibel shivers in terror.
Radek tries the controlls, but they refuse to cooperate, on a seemingly laws of physics level. (rolled 2 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Does the radio work?
Greibel calms down a bit as the sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat him and etc fades away. (rolled 18 reality) Just a bad trip, that's all. It still looks horrible, but he just doesn't look at it.
GREIBEL
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Radek does. Nothing really changes, but then he just tries starting it like normal again. The Gravedigger pokes it too and after a few more tries it starts/
AZIRAPHALE
Just don't break it.
GREIBEL
Road trip, guys.
RADEK
Alright! Destination?
AZIRAPHALE
Wait wait. Does the radio work?
GREIBEL
Tune in some jams!
AZIRAPHALE
I meant like, for communication. Not music. Or does this ship not have that?
Radek flips through the channels. Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises, like a Geiger counter.
AZIRAPHALE
Eee.
RADEK
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting news.
RHU
The sky...
RADEK
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
RHU
It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky. The sky opens its eye and stares at him. (rolled 3 reality) It seems it did not approve of Radek's rude gestures.
They fly the car-ship down toward the sea, headed for one of the nearby wrecks.


EXT. Car; open ocean - weird-arse twilight
Radek drives the car-ship over the ocean while everyone else goes bonkers around him. The sky is watching. The wind is missing. Everything is slightly wrong.
At one point Greibel (rolled 4 reality) and Radek (rolled 3 reality) see another city in the distance, despite the maps saying it should just be ocean that way.
Radek takes a detour to fly toward the other city.
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador.
AZIRAPHALE
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits.
RHU
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking... the ways are blind.
GREIBEL
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles.
A bit later Radek realises he's gone off course and readjusts without saying anything to the others.
Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking, trying to make sense of it. (rolled 20 reality) It is something huge and powerful, and very important.
Greibel, meanwhile, turns into a flock of pygmy moose in the back seat. (rolled 8 reality)
Aziraphale hears voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage. (rolled 9 reality)
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.


EXT. Car above ship wreckage - weird-arse twilight
The wreckage is a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating. There are large blobulous things growing off it. If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they might be hollow.
Radek puts the car-ship in park hovering over the weckage, near the edge, positioned such that he can reach a relatively isolated blobulous thing. The Gravedigger has fallen asleep in the other seat, but the others watch.
He examines it closely, using magic and stuff. (rolled 23 arcana) It seems to be alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. The things are growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy. While each blob seems to be a separate entity, they are all connected together. If he were to take one away, it would affect the others, though how is unclear.
While he does this, the sky glares down, and blobulous things glow at everyone.
Aziraphale stares.
RADEK
Anyone have a knife?
AZIRAPHALE
I have a sword. That work?
RADEK
Well enough.
AZIRAPHALE
(starting to get out his sword)
Oh, I do have a knife.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife instead.
Rhu pets the flock of moose.
Radek moves to cut off a sample, but then the blobulous things all start pulsating (rolled 5 reality). Instead, he steers the car-thing away, putting a hopefully safe distance between them.
RHU
Weren't you going to get a sample?
RADEK
They started moving. These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Greibel nuzzles everyone.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see.
Aziraphale sulks.
Rhu puts a pygmy moose on Azir's lap.
RADEK
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Radek gets out his gun.
Aziraphale watches attentively.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm.
Radek fires at the blob he'd approached before and misses. (rolled 12) They quit moving, so he reloads and tries again, but still misses. (rolled 12)
RADEK
Hmph.
He tries one last time and finally hits the blobulous glowing mutated power cell. (rolled 17) It just sort of deflates and stops glowing.
RADEK
I need to tune this thing.
The moose squeal with delight.
The other cells start getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the space around them. The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
RADEK
Interesting reaction.
Then the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place. An emptiness that is pulling the car-ship toward it as well.
Radek turns the car-ship around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises at first, but once it starts moving the pull becomes insignificant by comparison and the get clear of the anomaly. Radek stops once they seem to be clear.
Rhu, meanwhile, starts screaming. (rolled 1 reality)
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak. It doesn't help.
AZIRAPHALE
Fah.
Agitated pygmy moose run around next to them. And over.
The Gravedigger finally wakes up and hits Rhu with a shovel. (rolled 16 to bop) This successfully knocks him out, and he quits screaming as a result.
AZIRAPHALE
Is that wise?
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
The moose turn back into a Greibel with a pop.
GREIBEL
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess. It sure was fun being moose though.
He finally notices the others: Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
And the ship they went to investigate is just gone. Apparently it turned into a horrible hole in space.
GREIBEL
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH.
RADEK
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
He directs the car-ship towards the city his mad self had been so intent on visiting before.
On the way, Greibel (rolled 6 reality) and Aziraphale (rolled 8 reality) become entirely convinced the other is insane. And trying to kill them.
Greibel panics and shuffles over to the Gravedigger and tries to wake him up again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHAT?
Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON.
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword. It doesn't help.
RADEK
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
GREIBEL
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're all insane. Now shut up.
GREIBEL
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS.
Rhu is still screaming. Aziraphale hits him again.
Rhu finally runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead. Then he starts screaming again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Quiet back there! Or I'll turn this ship around! And put you in holes!
Rhu stops screaming.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thank you.
The Gravedigger tries to resume his nap.
Greibel continues dancing around behind Gravy for protection from Aziraphale.


EXT. Partially invisible city - weird-arse twilight
Radek docks the car-shit next to something invisible, though to him and Greibel it looks very much like just another Sarathi city. This one is smaller than the first one they came to, and seems to have suffered considerably more damage.
Radek steps out like the grump he is. To the others it looks like he is standing on nothing.
Rhu is still utterly panicked and doesn't even notice.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON. More of this? Anyone have paint?
Aziraphale (rolled 12 reality) and Greibel (rolled 5 reality) finally realise they're actually not trying to kill each other and resume sanity. Or their versions of sanity. Which in Greibel's case doesn't mean much.
Greibel gets distracted by a cloud.
GREIBEL
Wheeeeee.
Aziraphale looks at Greibel and suddenly gets an urge to hug him.
AZIRAPHALE
So Radek, did you just go out for a quick smoke in mid air?
RADEK
No, I'm standing on solid ground. And I don't smoke.
GREIBEL
You should start, man. It's awesome.
RADEK
Undoubtedly.
AZIRAPHALE
What solid ground?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't see any ground.
AZIRAPHALE
I mean, this is quite impressive and all. Or is this one of the perception issues again?
Aziraphale grumbles.
GREIBEL
Pala-dude, perception is just the gateway to the soul, man.
Rhu sort of comes to his senses (rolled 10 reality), sees Radek standing on nothing, and realises he's probably lost it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe we can find fancy glasses.
The Gravedigger pokes the 'ground' with a shovel. His second-best shovel, just in case. It clinks on stone.
AZIRAPHALE
Augh damn it.
Aziraphale gingerly steps outside the vehicle. He winds up standing on nothing, and resolutely looks straight ahead.
The Gravedigger leaps out onto the nothing. Carefully. There is a loud crack as he lands.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That wasn't me.
RADEK
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't want your consciousness. It's sad and grumpy.
RADEK
Hmph. Yours isn't exactly a prize worth fighting for either.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's beyond price.
AZIRAPHALE
This isn't sustainable. Even if we were standing on solid ground, we can't do anything when we can't see what's really around us.
GREIBEL
You know what I do when I want to see what's really around me?
AZIRAPHALE
No. And I don't really want to know.
Aziraphale grumbles some more.
GREIBEL
Your loss, dude.
Greibel smokes some drugs.
The sky is watching like a wretched abyss.
Wen (Aziraphale): brb bathroom.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SKY IN THE BATHROOM. IT'S WATCHING YOU THERE TOO.
The (invisible) ground creaks underfoot.
Radek does some magic to try to stabilise things. (rolled 26 arcana) A couple of buildings fall down, though none particularly closeby.
Everything shimmers. And rumbles. This much everyone can see and hear.
Aziraphale goes back in the car-ship and starts to tend to Rhu's mostly shovel-inflicted injuries, but gets distracted by the rubbling rumbles. He tries to see what did it, but just winds up hearing a horrible high-pitched whine (rolled 4 perception (natural 1)).
Aziraphale winces.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
RAdek? Can you do something so we can see what's going on? Because it sounds like holes.
RADEK
I'm trying.
AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone else hear that noise?
RHU
Yes, we all hear the rumbling.
The rumbling and creaking is becoming more insistent, building up in intensity. Meanwhile the sky is a massive hole and wants to eat everyone.
AZIRAPHALE
There's this... high pitched noise. Real unpleasant. Looks like reality is mucking about.
GREIBEL
This reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Oh wait, no, it was a movie. Never mind.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I think I'm gonna get back in the car now.
He does so.
AZIRAPHALE
Ye-ah. Might be a good idea.
Greibel senses a squirrel he can't see. (rolled 5 reality)
Buildings are collapsing.
GREIBEL
Hmmmm.
The place is rumbling and cracking.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, let's get back in the ship.
Radek does.
Aziraphale reenters the car-ship as well.
Wen (Aziraphale): I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it. >.>
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Words no one has ever said before qithout smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
The sky seems... lower. The shimmering is also much more intense.
GREIBEL
I miss my tree, man.
RADEK
So if you don't want to land on the clearly visible city, which is now admittedly collapsing, by the way, where are we headed?
AZIRAPHALE
Let's check out the sky?
Almost as if in answer to the question, reality collapses in on itself, and everything goes knurd.
GREIBEL
Woah. I haven't seen knurd in ages.
This is the last thing they hear before everyone passes out.


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Session 3 (Overview)
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I'm donating to the EFF to get stickers, which I'll stick on my roommate's face next time he falls asleep on the couch.