Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 3"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<pre>
{{holes nav
Wen: Hi team.
|top=true
Apheori (GM): My sea of pdfs is inclined to drown.
|previous=Holes/Session 2
Frezak (GM): Make a boat.
|next=Holes/Session 4
Ganelon: Hello.
}}
Bear Soup Guy: Adobe Boat
 
Apheori (GM): Okay, where were we all?
<screenplay>
Frezak (GM): I was digging a hole.
EXT. Sarathi parking lot - night
Wen: in the parking lot
 
SHIP is gone.
The Gravedigger is digging a hole in a potted tree, which first involves digging up said tree, then carefully piling the swarm of undead chickens into the hole.
Frezak (GM): *SURPRISE*
 
Wen: that backstabbing bastard, I mean, er.
Radek is drawing circles on the ground as part of a ritual to fix Aziraphale's sword; Aziraphale is watching him, but also just very happy to be outside.
Frezak (GM): I was under the impression SHIP was more female than male.
 
Unless bastard is also genderless.
Greibel is a moose. Rhu is just sort of standing around, but then starts staring at something in abject horror. ''(rolled 9 reality)''
Apheori (GM): It is.
 
Wen: but usually male
Greibel stops being a moose with a loud pop and wanders over to watch Radek do shiny circle stuff as well.
Ganelon: It is, it's just very male-biased.
 
Wen: used as an insult, people tend to substitute bitch for females.
There is a loud messy-sounding WHOMP from the other end of the lot.
but I guess you could technically call a girl born out of wedlock a bastard.
 
Apheori (GM): Right.
AZIRAPHALE
GRAVY IS DIGGING UP A TREE.
(startled)
Frezak (GM): Well, ship has buggered off.
What was that noise?
Radek was about to try and see if he can report back?
 
Apheori (GM): RADEK IS CONSIDERING THE... OTHER SHIPS OR SOMETHING.
Greibel looks toward the WHOMP and shrugs.
GREIBEL IS A MOOSE.
 
Bear Soup Guy: YAY MOOSE
Gravy finishes burying the chickens and packs the earth really tight around them before turning and squinting in the direction the sound came from.
Frezak (GM): MOOSE
 
Apheori (GM): RHU IS STARING AT GRAVY.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: I want to go to that shipwreck, yes.
It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP.
But right now I need... probably 10 minutes' time.
 
Wen: goddamn it people test your website on windows.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): AZIR IS HAPPY TO BE OUTSIDE.
What kind of WHOMP?
Wen: very much so yes.
 
Ganelon: As in, Radek does.
The Gravedigger charges toward the WHOMP.  
Not I.
 
Frezak (GM): Magic ritual time?
Aziraphale walks cautiously after him.
Ganelon: Damn straight.
 
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
They get to the area and it appears that the sound was something very large and squishy going splat on the pavement. Random globs and hunks and bits of bone are scattered around the mess.
MAKE HOLE.
 
Ganelon: To Make Whole.
GREIBEL
Not to be confused with digging.
Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?
The Gravedigger: I CAN MAKE HOLES TOO, GUYS.
 
Apheori (GM): You're doing that already.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Without even using magic.
Many globs.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll a d20.
But. If there's something I've learnt, it's that there are always new globs.
Bear Soup Guy:
 
rolling 1d20
GREIBEL
(
What a nice thought.
16
 
)
The Gravedigger looks at the globs for a moment to try to identify them. ''(rolled 28 perception (natural 20))''
=
 
16
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): You can stop being a moose if you want.
That used to be a small dragon. There's also...
Bear Soup Guy: Okie dokie
 
Apheori (GM): Everyone else, do stuff.
The Gravedigger rummages through the globs and pulls out something metal.
Aziraphale stares around wildly
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aziraphale:
THIS.
rolling 1d20
 
(
The Gravedigger holds up a half-digested light fixture.
16
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?
16
 
Apheori (GM): You're sane. Congratulations.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: What I'm doing takes quite some time, but these fellows are welcome to watch as I draw circles around this broken sword.
Well, that's odd. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?
Greibel: Oh man, I love broken sword magic!
 
Ganelon: Well, 10 minutes is quite some time compared to the length of a fight, anyway.
AZIRAPHALE
Or most discussions.
I've never seen them, certainly.
Frezak (GM): Brb, Assume I'm burying a swarm of undead chickens.
 
Rhu: Greibel, Azir: d20 again.
GREIBEL
Aziraphale:
Does it shine groovy colors?
rolling 1d20
 
(
The dragon globs and splatter starts to glow.
3
 
)
The Gravedigger drops the light fixture and scoots back toward Radek.
=
 
3
GREIBEL
Greibel:
This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp.
rolling 1d20
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
5
DO dragons normally glow?
)
 
=
Aziraphale mutters something.
5
 
Rhu:
RADEK
rolling 1d20
Dragons?
(
 
9
Aziraphale is really muttering now.
)
 
=
THE GRAVEDIGGER
9
Dead glowy dragon here.
Wen: crap
 
Apheori (GM): Oops. Oh well.
Aziraphale mutters some more.
Hmm.
 
I need to wake up.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Wen: /me drops a 2kg weight on Apheori
(loudly)
Apheori (GM): Oh, bugger, I guess Rhu was the only one who noticed.
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?
Bear Soup Guy pulls the lever dropping a 16 ton weight on Apheori
 
Apheori (GM): So Rhu's just sort of staring.
GREIBEL
Nevermind him, though.
I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary.
So Azir and Greibel are watching the shiny artificer.
 
Gravy: YOU FINISH DIGGING UP THE TREE.
AZIRAPHALE
And then he probably just buries them.
(still mumbling)
Argh, I need... waking.
Something something Alesvrie something.
Frezak (GM): Burying dem birdies.
 
Apheori (GM): Okay, you're all busy and for some inane reasons nothing particularly weird is happening besides whatever Rhu was staring at, so I'ma get some tea.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bear Soup Guy: They were zombies so you may need to bury them twice as deep
STOP MUMBLING.
Frezak (GM): What is twice dead cannot rise again!
 
Or something.
Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably.
Wen: I want a second monitor
 
Frezak (GM): I'll just pack the earth really tight.
You can't have mine.
i'm using it.
Wen: Damn it.
brb bathroom.
Bear Soup Guy: The bathroom probably has a second monitor
Frezak (GM): Like all good bathrooms.
Apheori (GM): I could use a fifth monitor.
Ganelon: I could use a monitor lizard.
Wen: Back.
Apheori (GM) feels like dropping a car on the parking lot.
Wen: I was actually considering going on campus to one of the labs and stealing the use of a monitor.
but noo, closed over the break.
Apheori (GM): >.<
GUYS.
Wen: HI.
Frezak (GM): HELLO.
Apheori (GM): There is a loud WHOMP from the other end of the lot.
Aziraphale: What was that noise?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: YOU DONE BURYING YET?
Greibel looks toward the WHOMP
Frezak (GM): YOU TELL ME.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: It looks messy.
FREZAK: YOU'RE DOING BURYING.
Frezak (GM): I'll turn and squint, using Gravy-vision.
Greibel: It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP
Aziraphale: What kind of WHOMP?
Apheori (GM): A messy WHOMP.
Frezak (GM): Messy?
Apheori (GM): Maybe you should go and look.
Frezak (GM): Organic?
Apheori (GM): It sounded messy.
Frezak (GM): DID A FISH GO SPLAT?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
The Gravedigger: Flying fish!
TO THE FISH
Apheori (GM): It could have been a fish.
Frezak (GM): I will charge towards the sound.
Aziraphale walks cautiously toward the source of the noise
Apheori (GM): You go and investigate, and...
...well, something went splat.
Frezak (GM): GOSH.
Ganelon: When 10 minutes have transpired, let me know.
Rituals require me to stay in place and pay attention
Frezak (GM): So we see... globs?
Ganelon: Though as a player I'll always be here to offer snarky commentary, fear ye not.
Greibel: Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?
Apheori (GM): There are globs.
The Gravedigger: Many globs.
But.
If there's something i've learnt.
It's that there are always new globs.
Apheori (GM): And some things that might be bone.
Frezak (GM): And I try Perception to identify the globs?
Greibel: What a nice thought
Frezak (GM): *can I try
Wen: does it look alive?
Frezak (GM): ZOMBIE GLOBS AAAAA
Apheori (GM): It's definitely not alive now.
ROLL.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
20
)
+8
=
28
EEEEEEAGLE EYES
I SEE ALL.
THE UNIVERSE UNFOLDS.
Wen: If it's another undead something battle I'm going to kill someone. >.>
Apheori (GM): You discern that it used to be a small dragon.
Bear Soup Guy: "I can see forever!"
Ganelon: You should be looking forward to fighting undead, what with the holy powers.
Apheori (GM): You also see some bits of metal.
The Gravedigger: That used to be a small dragon.
THere's also...
The Gravedigger rummages for the metal bits.
The Gravedigger: THIS.
Apheori (GM): You hold up a half-digested...
Light fixture.
Aziraphale: Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?
The Gravedigger: Well, that's odd.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE.
WHY DONT YOU KNOW?
Greibel: Does it shine groovy colors?
Apheori (GM): Dragons are not native to Sarathi, but one of this size could have been kept as a pet.
Azir: You can't know everything about the entire planet.
Aziraphale: Gravy: I've never seen the, certainly.
Frezak (GM): Do dragons normally eat light fixtures?
Wen: WELL TELL THAT TO GRAVY EH
Apheori (GM): YOU TELL IT TO HIM. I'm just leaving a note.
Wen: them*
well okay I just did
Apheori (GM): GOOD.
Frezak (GM): ALRIGHT.
Bear Soup Guy: I wish I could do real life perception rolls
Apheori (GM): And I dunno, do dragons normally eat light fixtures?
Also it's starting to glow.
Frezak (GM): They're your dragons.
Apheori (GM): GAN: YOUR GUY FINISHES.
Frezak (GM): What's glowing?
The globs or the metal?
Apheori (GM): The light fixture.
Oh, wait.
Ganelon: Marvelous, let's see what all the hubbub is about.
Apheori (GM): The globs are too now.
Frezak (GM): I WILL DROP THE LIGHT FIXTURES.
And double-move back.
Greibel: This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp
The Gravedigger: DO dragons normally glow?
Aziraphale mutters something
Radek: Dragons?
Aziraphale is really muttering now
The Gravedigger: Dead glowy dragon here.
Aziraphale: babble babble babble
The Gravedigger: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?
Apheori (GM): Radek: Only certain kinds do, and they wouldn't be this small.
Frezak (GM): 18 con lungs.
Greibel: I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary
Aziraphale: something something Alesvrie something
The Gravedigger: STOP MUMBLING.
Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably
The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.
The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.
Aziraphale: I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.
 
The Gravedigger: Awesome!
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
(finally looking up)
Aziraphale: This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.
I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
Awesome!
8
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.
8
 
The Gravedigger: What.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Were you mucking about with SCIENCE?
What. Were you mucking about with SCIENCE? Gaaaaah. RADEEEEEK!
Gaaaaah.
 
RADEEEEEK
RADEK
Radek: Don't you even start.
Don't you even start.
Aziraphale: Not me. My employer was.
 
Radek: What was the experiment?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see the sky.
Not me. My employer was.
Greibel: Lava lamps, I bet
 
Aziraphale: Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Greibel: It looks horribly wrong.
What was the experiment?
(From Aziraphale): sorry, quicker just to paste what you gave me >.>
 
Greibel: Woooah
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Like a lava lamp.
Lava lamps, I bet.
Greibel: A HUNGRY ONE.
 
(To Aziraphale): No worries.
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel: Guys look at the sky!
Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.
Aziraphale looks
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
RADEK
Greibel: That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!
I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.
Frezak (GM): Gravy looks as well.
 
Wen: do I add insight or something?
Greibel notices the sky. ''(rolled 8 reality)'' It looks horribly wrong. Like a lava lamp. A hungry lava lamp.
Ganelon: I'll look.
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
Woooah. Guys, look at the sky! That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!
17
 
Ganelon: It would be stupid not to.
The others look up. To them, the sky seems to be the wrong colour, perhaps as though the light is going the wrong direction. And there are cracks. Nothing about it resembles a hungry lava lamp, however. ''(rolled 17 (Gravy), 17 (Radek), and 14 (Azir) reality)''
Apheori (GM): d20!
 
Ganelon:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20
Well that's queer.
(
 
17
GREIBEL
)
I quite agree, Horseman.
=
 
17
RHU
Apheori (GM): Wen: I'll add the relevant thingy here.
It's glowing. Mutating.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
AZIRAPHALE
(
So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea... what's next?
14
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
Undead chickens? No, wait, we did that.
14
 
Apheori (GM): The sky seems to be the wrong colour.
RHU
And the light is going the wrong direction.
More?
And there are cracks.
 
But none of you see anything resembling a hungry lava lamp effect.
AZIRAPHALE
The Gravedigger: Well that's queer.
I sincerely hope not.
Apheori (GM): Greibel does.
 
Greibel: I quite agree, Horseman
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: It's glowing. Mutating.
Big piles of money?
Aziraphale: So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea...
 
What's next?
AZIRAPHALE
The Gravedigger: UNdead chickens?
No, wait, we did that.
BIg piles of money?
Rhu: More?
Aziraphale: I sincerely hope not.
That'd be nice.
That'd be nice.
The Gravedigger: Sandwiches?
 
Aziraphale: A ship that works would be nicer.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Eventually there won't be any bad things.
Sandwiches?
Aziraphale: I just want to get the hell out of this place now.
 
Bad things never run out.
AZIRAPHALE
It's the way of things.
A ship that works would be nicer. I just want to get the hell out of this place now.
Aziraphale mutters darkly
 
Greibel: Nonsense
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: There is a pile of money over here, actually.
Eventually there won't be any bad things.
Greibel: After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel
 
Rhu points.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek: I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.
Bad things never run out. It's the way of things.
Greibel: There will be no bad things :D
 
The Gravedigger: Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.
Aziraphale mutters darkly.
What?
 
Money?
GREIBEL
Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously
Nonsense. After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel, there will be no bad things.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.
 
RHU
There is a pile of money over here, actually.
 
Rhu points to a pile of money on the ground behind one of the broken ship-cars.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What? Money?
 
The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.
The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.
Apheori (GM): It looks like a pile of money.
 
Aziraphale pokes it with his borrowed shovel
Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously and pokes it with his borrowed spade.
Apheori (GM): It's a pile of money. You're not sure the currency, but it would probably sell for a lot.
 
Aziraphale: Radek, can I have my sword back?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Careful with that.
Careful with that. It's an antique.
It's an antique.
 
Radek: Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.
AZIRAPHALE
Aziraphale: Mucha gracias.
Radek, can I have my sword back?
Does anyone object if I keep the money?
 
As in, keep it with me.
RADEK
(handing over the sword)
Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.
 
AZIRAPHALE
Mucha gracias. Does anyone object if I keep the money? As in, keep it with me.
 
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The Gravedigger: I'm here to bury things.
 
Greibel shrugs too
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: I'm here to...why am I here anyway?
I'm here to bury things.
Ganelon: Is it a pile that could even be carried?
 
Aziraphale: Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now
Greibel shrugs too.
The Gravedigger: You're welcome.
 
GREIBEL
I'm here to... why am I here anyway?
 
Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.
Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.
Frezak (GM): SHOVEL GET.
 
Wen: Hee.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): He has a bag, but it'd probably be easier to dump it on the gravedigger or split it.
Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now.
Frezak (GM): What form is the money IN?
 
Wen: that large a pile?
He hands it back to the Gravedigger.
WE'RE RICH!
 
Frezak (GM): I'd have thought future money was digital.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): It's... not huge, but enough to be inconvenient.
You're welcome.
IT is.
 
Aziraphale: Okay, what about we split it?
Aziraphale tries to gather up the money and discovers that it's too much to conveniently carry.
eggs in more than one basket and all that.
 
Apheori (GM): You'll need to fence it for it to have real value.
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel: Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs
Okay, what about we split it? Eggs in more than one basket and all that.
Radek: Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.
 
Aziraphale: Well, let's split it anyway
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Oh yeah, is the dragon still glowing?
Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs.
Aziraphale pockets 1/5
 
Frezak (GM): brb
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The dragon is still glowing.
Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.
It looks like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.
 
Ganelon: I am highly intrigued but not foolish enough to assume it's safe.
AZIRAPHALE
Bear Soup Guy: Can I inspect the dragon with my NATURE?
Well, let's split it anyway.
Apheori (GM): Do it.
 
Greibel: okay
Aziraphale divides it into rough fifths and they all scoop up their shares, paying more attention to the dead splattered dragon than to the money.
rolling 1d20 + 11
 
(
The dragon is still glowing. Like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.
20
 
)
Greibel examines the dragon. ''(rolled 31 nature (natural 20))''
+11
 
=
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): SUPER NATURE.
31
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: It looks like the others aren't interested in the pile of money.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST.
Wen: \o/
 
Bear Soup Guy: SUPER NATURE
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU.
Ganelon: I'm interested enough to take my share.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST
Greibel sees the universe glowing in the dragon. It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered, the form of a dreloth pulled apart and inverted.
Ganelon: I just need to know how much that is.
 
Apheori (GM): Agh, dammit.
GREIBEL
Gan: It's a small pile.
It was definitely a pet Dreloth!
As opposed to a regular pile.
 
>.>
RADEK
Ganelon: ...
Why is it glowing?
Apheori (GM): Okay, it's about 3lbs of shiny stuff.
 
Wen: Can we just assume everyone takes some and move on? It's not critical to the plot right now is it?
Greibel takes out a wooden pipe.
Ganelon: You know, this is a game with a universal system of value.
 
But yes, it's hardly a big deal.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): This is a universe that doesn't have a universal system of value, though.
I'm going to find out!
Okay, fine, it's... how much would 3lb of shiny stuff be worth?
 
Like... coins.
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: OH LOOK A TRAVELEX. wait no everyone else is _dead_ on this planet. >_>
Um, are we sure this is a good idea?
Ganelon: I don't know! Coins are somehow weightless in D&D!
 
Wen: snrk.
Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it.
Apheori (GM): ...okay, how much SPACE do they take up?
 
Ganelon: NONE!
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: FIVE HUNDRED COINS
I'm pretty sure it isn't.
Ganelon: That's actually a whole lot, but whatever. This isn't worth raising a fuss over.
 
Apheori (GM): Meh, it's probably about that.
RADEK
Wen: okay, so everyone takes 100?
That hasn't stopped him before.
Apheori (GM): Because you know what? THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE ABOUT HOW HEAVY IT IS.
 
I guess.
GREIBEL
Wen: you can make it Zimbabwe dollars later if you think it's too much.
I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH.
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
 
Apheori (GM): You have no idea what it is.
RHU
Ganelon: Okay, I want to hear about Greibel's astonishing success.
(in amazement)
Apheori (GM): They look like dwemer coins, but everyone knows that's just an ancient videogame.
This is probably why we brought him.
GREIBEL:
 
Uh...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hold on, I need to make something up.
Smoking expertise? I thought we were just the only people that would come here.
Bear Soup Guy: I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see the universe glowing in the dragon.
RADEK
It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered.
(shouting)
Ganelon: I am old and cranky and hoping I can extract something flammable, acidic, or explosive from this dragon's corpse.
Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?
Apheori (GM): Also it used to be a dreloth. They're wimpy and a lot of people keep them as pets, especially in the Artiilie empire.
 
You get this urge to try smoking it.
GREIBEL
Greibel: It was definitely a pet Dreloth!
Radek: Why is it glowing?
Greibel takes out a wooden pipe
Greibel: I'm going to find out!
Aziraphale: Um, are we sure this is a good idea?
Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it?
Aziraphale: I'm pretty sure it isn't.
Radek: That hasn't stopped him before.
Rhu: Meh.
Greibel: I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH
Frezak (GM): D&D coins aren't weightless >.>
Rhu: This is probably why we brought him.
The Gravedigger: Smoking expertise?
I thought we were just the only people that would come here.
Radek: (Shouting) Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?
Apheori (GM): Griebel: d20
Rhu: ...or that.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
It seems volatily delicious!
It seems volatily delicious!
Frezak (GM): I'll edge away in case he explodes.
 
Or melts.
The Gravedigger edges away from Greibel in case he explodes. Or melts. Or glows. Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.
Or glows.
 
Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You get reasonably high as a result.
Mmmm. Well, it doesn't seem dangerous.
Frezak (GM): Reasonably?
 
Apheori (GM): No pygmy moose.
RADEK
Reasonably.
Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.
Frezak (GM): IN THIS PLACE?
 
THERE IS NO REASON.
Radek approaches and attempts to dig around the splattered dragon corpse. The Gravedigger offers him his second-best shovel, and Radek gathers up some alchemical ingredients (120g worth).
Apheori (GM): Pfft.
 
Ganelon: It stands to reason that he is high.
Greibel stands nearby looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling.
Greibel: Mmmm
 
Well, it doesn't seem dangerous
Rhu notices the light fixture lying on the ground and pockets it.
Frezak (GM): What does it smell like?
 
Radek: Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.
The Gravedigger pokes one of the busted ships/cars for glowy cells. It falls to pieces like it just sort of disintegrated, leaving behind a pile of spaceship dust.
Apheori (GM): It smells like a strong base.
 
Greibel: It smells like old milk
AZIRAPHALE
No
Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?
Frezak (GM): A strong base?
 
What does that mean?
The Gravedigger goes to poke some more ships.
Greibel: FRESH milk
 
Frezak (GM): LIke... chalk?
AZIRAPHALE
Aziraphale: Ammonia?
Wait! Was the concreteness an illusion?
Apheori (GM): Opposite of an acid. Like it was dunked in it, splattered, and then started reacting.
 
Greibel: Milky chalk
The Gravedigger commences poking. A couple of the other poked ships also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the rest seem quite solid. Quite a few of them have holes through them, some punched, others neatly sliced.
Apheori (GM): WEIRDLY.
 
Frezak (GM): Forget it. Stupid question. My sense of smell is fucked.
There is also a much larger hole in the ground where, presumably, an entire ship used to be.
>.>
 
SO it doesn't smell delicious.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): What happened to your sense of smell?
Nice poking, Horseman!
Ganelon: Well, if he's talking about Gravy, the guy did just spend almost 10 minutes hauling around rotting chicken corpses.
 
Apheori (GM): ...point.
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): I meant mine.
I suggest we search one of the bigger ships and see what we can find.
I don't really have one.
 
JUST IGNORE IT.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Ah.
TIME! Some of these have been aged. I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.
Frezak (GM): AND DO THINGS.
 
Apheori (GM): OKAY.
RADEK
Rhu does things.
You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.
Ganelon: Radek will approach and attempt to dig around this dragon's corpse.
 
Greibel will stand there looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: It's pretty much totally up to you what he finds.
That would be great. I'd have more years left to dig holes.
But... substances is the goal.
 
Frezak (GM): LET ME DIG.
RADEK
I will offer Radek my second-best shovel.
Not for the rest of us.
Apheori (GM): You find substances.
 
Ganelon: And NOT NARCOTIC ONES.
Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience. He was likely the king of the sandbox.
Apheori (GM): I'm not sure what.
 
Ganelon: Just give me another arbitrary number like you did with the computer parts.
AZIRAPHALE
Bear Soup Guy: I'm sure he could reverse engineer narcotic ones or....something
Let's look at the open topped ones first.
Apheori (GM): I was hoping the gm guide would be of help, but...
 
All the pages are blank?
They do this and find a spaceboat that's entirely full of peas. There also appear to be some bones in it.
120
 
Ganelon: Thank you.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): But some of that is narcotics.
(peering inside)
So be careful.
...I used to love peas.
Especially of Greibel.
 
Frezak (GM): He's dangerous.
The Gravedigger rises to the task and digs through the peas, unearthing (or perhaps unpeaing) enough bones to form several giant chickens, as well as a large fireball gun and a bucket of purple paint at the bottom of the boat.
Rhu pockets the light fixture.
 
Ganelon: I personally know very little about what materials are actually required for D&D alchemy, because everything is listed with a cost measured in money rather than... stuff.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Whereas I know nothing about costs, but I might know a thing or two about stuff... >.>
Mercenary artists!
Silly D&D.
 
Frezak (GM): I'll go poke the busted ships for glowy cells.
The Gravedigger hands the gun over to Radek. Radek scraps some peas off the display and finds it to be about half-charged.
Ganelon: Like, making a jar of Alchemist's Fire/Acid costs me the equivalent of 25 gold coins, but in materials that are worth nothing else on their own.
 
Wen: wait, there's a busted ship?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): You're in a parking lot.
I remember these things. One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Ganelon: We saw it on the way down.
Apheori (GM): It has a few.
Wen: Ah
Apheori (GM): There was also one in the ocean, but that's further away.
Wen: Do we try to explore any of them?
Apheori (GM): These are generally little car and boat things. But yeah, you might as well check them out.
The one Gravy pokes falls to pieces, though.
Wen: No spaceships?
Apheori (GM): Like it just sort of disintigrated.
Wen: aw.
Apheori (GM): A lot of them are spaceships, but not... bbig ones.
Aziraphale: Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?
Ganelon: I'm not going to relentlessly salvage *everything* we come across, no worries.
Apheori (GM): There
Frezak (GM): Into dust?
Apheori (GM): 's a pile of spaceship dust now.
Frezak (GM): I WILL POKE ALL THE SHIPS.
Aziraphale: Wait!
Was the concreteness an illusion?
Apheori (GM): A couple of others also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the others are quite solid.
You also notice small holes in quite a few of them.
Greibel: Nice poking, Horseman!
Frezak (GM): Neat or torn holes?
Apheori (GM): And a much larger hole in the ground where one... used to be.
Some of both.
Some chopped out, some punched.
Bear Soup Guy: brb bathroom
Frezak (GM): From in or out?
Ganelon: I take it there's not much of a consistent pattern beyond them being damaged.
Aziraphale: I suggest we explore one of the solid ships and see what we can find.
The Gravedigger: TIME!
Apheori (GM): Generally punched in.
The Gravedigger: Some of these have been aged.
Apheori (GM): But not always.
The Gravedigger: I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.
Radek: You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.
The Gravedigger: That would be great.
I'd have more years left to dig holes.
Radek: Not for the rest of us.
Apheori (GM): Two things:
1, I fell sick.
Wen: >.<
Apheori (GM): 2, Azir, if you can get them open, they're generally no bigger than SUVs.
So it shouldn't take long to search them.
A few are open-topped skiffs as well.
Ganelon: Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience.
Frezak (GM): Can we check the insides for remains of whatever punched the holes? Bolts, arrows, bulletheads?
Ganelon: He was likely the king of the sandbox.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Find an open-topped one or get a door open.
Aziraphale: Let's look at the open topped ones first..
Apheori (GM): Gan: Snrk.
Frezak (GM): What Azi said.
Ganelon: Like a convertible?
Apheori (GM): Basically.
You find one full of peas.
There appear to be some bones in it.
Radek: ...I used to love peas.
Wen: Before The Incident
Frezak (GM): what kind of bones?
Peas, before the Change.
Apheori (GM): Some kind of small animal. Maybe a dog?
You can fish them out to try to see.
Bear Soup Guy: Fishing in a sea of peas
Ganelon: Sounds like the job for some kind of experienced digger.
Frezak (GM): I RISE TO THE TASK.
Nature/perception?
Apheori (GM): Just dig.
Frezak (GM): i delve.
Apheori (GM): You find more bones! Several... not dogs.
Giant chickens!
Also there's a large gun and a bucket of paint in the bottom.
Frezak (GM): What size compared to the undead chickens?
Greibel: Mercenary artists!
Frezak (GM): More on the gun.
Apheori (GM): Much bigger.
Frezak (GM): Colour of paint.
Apheori (GM): Purple paint.
The gun is a blastive one. Probably used to blow stuff up at reasonable range, but not very good accuracy.
(I guess it shoots fireballs.)
Frezak (GM): Like some kind of siege weapon?
Wen: do we find signs of the original occupants?
Apheori (GM): Potentially, but probably not that strong. It's like a sceptre of fireballs.
Frezak (GM): Is it functional?
Apheori (GM): No sign of them.
Frezak (GM): As far as I can tell without using it?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't give any indications of not being functional.
Frezak (GM): Actually.
Apheori (GM): The on switch responds.
Frezak (GM): I'll hand it to Radek.
He knows science.
Ganelon: I do!
Is any part of this weapon clogged with peas?
Frezak (GM): You are taunted by peas.
SHIT.
THE PEAS.
Ganelon: (I turn it off before inspecting the barrel)
Frezak (GM): ARE THE FANGED?
Apheori (GM): Radek: You recognise the make. It's basically a toy, though one with considerable destructive potential (at least for a toy). Once you get the peas off the display, you find it says it's about half full.
Frezak (GM): *thry
*they
Apheori (GM): They are not fanged.
Radek: I remember these things.
Frezak (GM): What kind of skill would be required to manipulate this device at maximum effectiveness?
Apheori (GM): The gun? The ability to point it.
Radek: One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.
Aziraphale: How many deaths?
 
before it was pulled
AZIRAPHALE
...it was pulled, yes?
How many deaths before it was pulled? ...it was pulled, yes?
The Gravedigger: Dibs.
 
Rhu: Nope.
RHU
Aziraphale: ...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.
Nope.
The Gravedigger: Awesome!
 
Greibel scoffs at the gun
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.
Dibs.
Apheori (GM): Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.
 
Frezak (GM): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek: Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore.
...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.
Wen: /me giggles
 
Frezak (GM): THE SQUASH.
Greibel scoffs at the gun.
Radek: It's half full.
 
Frezak (GM): How many shots is 'half-full' ?
RADEK
ish?
Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.
Wen: Okay, so our options: explore more vehicles, explore the dragon / light fixture mess, go elsewhere. What else?
 
Apheori (GM): 10-20.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Batteries sold separately, no doubt.
Awesome!
Apheori (GM): There are some other buildings.
 
Aziraphale: Radek: Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.
Ganelon: Are communications back?
 
Apheori (GM): Should be rechargable, but... yeah.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.
Gan: No.
 
When you check, you can't connect to anything.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): THE SQUASH.
Radek: Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.
 
Frezak (GM): He could check the video logs we pulled earlier?
RADEK
Aziraphale: Damn.
Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore. It's half full.
Good idea.
 
Ganelon: That he could!
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): I AM SO SMART.
Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?
GO DO SCIENCE.
 
Gravy will go back to poking random things to see what turns to dust.
RADEK
Ganelon: Gather 'round and let's see.
Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.
That also works.
 
Frezak (GM): Eh, science.
AZIRAPHALE
I'll let you handle it.
Damn.
I trust you to tell me cool things.
 
Apheori (GM): One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust.
Radek instead sits down to try reading some of the video logs they pulled.
Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust
 
Frezak (GM): WHOOOO
The Gravedigger goes back to poking random things to see what turns to dust. One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust. He runs around in a circle, causing the dust to trail behind him like a cloak. He sneezes.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20s.
 
Frezak (GM): I'll run in circle and have dust trail behind me like a cloak.
Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust. Then he turns and sees the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them. They appear to have sprouted fangs. ''(rolled 11 reality)''
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
GREIBEL
(
AH FANGED PEAS.
11
 
)
Aziraphale eyes Greibel.
=
 
11
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon: Oh gods, what kind of dust was this?
Are you okay?
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
 
4
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Nooooo
Oh, be quiet Greibel. I'M THE KING OF DUST.
My sanity!
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: Your guy starts going through the logs, leaving the connection in the background. It all looks pretty normal.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Just ordinary mall stuff?
OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You turn and see the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them.
 
They appear to have sprouted fangs.
Gravy: The dust causes you to sneeze a bit.
Wen: do we see the fangs?
The Gravedigger: ACHOOOO
Greibel: AH FANGED PEAS
Ganelon: GaaaaaAAAAAH THIS IS WHY WE DON'T GIVE THE GM IDEAS
Apheori (GM): Gan: Yup. Day to tay stuff, until about a week ago.
Frezak (GM): I didn't, Gan.
Apheori (GM): Wen: No.
Frezak (GM): She came up with them first.
Aziraphale eyes Greibel
Aziraphale: are you okay?
The Gravedigger: Oh, be quiet Greibel.
I'M THE KING OF DUST
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20.
Greibel: OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.
The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.
Wen: uh oh
 
Greibel: Actually sometimes that would be quite okay
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: DUSSSSST
Actually sometimes that would be quite okay.
Greibel: I guess it's not so bad until they attack
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DUSSSSST.
 
GREIBEL
I guess it's not so bad until they attack.
 
The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.
The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.
The Gravedigger: WHOOOO
 
Greibel: WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Gan: You realise there are jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change.
WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.
Aziraphale: Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.
 
The Gravedigger: I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS
Maanwhile Radek goes through the footage from the security center. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.
Radek: I don't have a cure for that.
 
Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth
AZIRAPHALE
(To Frezak): You know, your character actually passed the sanity check. Not that this isn't hilarious.
Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.
Radek: There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.
 
(From Frezak (GM)): I know! he's just having fun.
RADEK
I don't have a cure for that.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS.
 
Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth.
 
RADEK
There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.
 
The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.
The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.
Aziraphale: anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?
 
(To Frezak): Heh. Though he also might be high.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Radek: Another d20
Anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?
Ganelon: Is there a timer to indicated skips in time or is the environment itself skipping?
 
rolling 1d20
The Gravedigger puts Greibel down and comes over to see what Radek is doing.
(
 
7
Greibel wipes the dust off himself.
)
 
=
Radek toggles the timestamps - they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well). Plants and other decor also seems to change between jumps.
7
 
Apheori (GM): Stop rolling badly.
AZIRAPHALE
The Gravedigger puts Greibel down to see what Radek is doing.
So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time. Odd.
Wen: XD
 
Ganelon: If only I could.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): He can't. It's the currrrse
No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.
Greibel wipes the dust off himself
 
Ganelon: You should've seen how lucky I was yesterday with the gnoll.
GREIBEL
Goblins at my back, orcs everywhere else - even in my hands - and they just couldn't hit me.
Stair fish...
Apheori (GM): Well, anyway, you turn on timestamps, and they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well).
 
Aziraphale: So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time.
Greibel nods in agreement.
Odd.
 
Apheori (GM): You also notice the plants and other decor seems to change between jumps.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek: No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.
Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back.
Greibel: Stair fish...
 
Wen: Anything actually unusual within the clips? Fanged hams? Twisting walls? People growing appendages they shouldn't?
RADEK
Greibel nods in agreement
Certainly.
Apheori (GM): He hasn't actually gotten to the past week yet.
 
Frezak (GM): Cripes.
The recent stuff reveals far stranger as he switches between the cameras. Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Aziraphale staring down a floating fish in abject horror.
Apheori (GM): When all of this started.
 
So... no.
The Gravedigger goes to look around for another bit of clear dirt.
Aziraphale: Radek: Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back
 
Radek: Certainly.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Recent stuff: Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Azir staring down a floating fish in abject horror. Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red.
Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.
Frezak (GM): I'll go look for another bit of clear dirt.
 
Apheori (GM): Everything is blue. Everything is black.
Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red. Everything is blue. Everything is black. More empty rooms. That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.
More empty rooms.
 
Wen: Do I remember staring down a floating fish?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): No.
Hey, I saw her!
Aziraphale: Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.
 
Apheori (GM): That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.
More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static. For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.
Greibel: Hey, I saw her!
 
Apheori (GM): More empty rooms. Walls rippling.
RADEK
Holes openening.
I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but... Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.
Static.
 
Wen: Jumps?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
man, why is the weather always so nice when I'm playing D&D? >.>
Find a communications tower? Power it up, ping a sattelite?
Apheori (GM): Less jumps, just a lot of different cameras. He's just searching through them.
 
Radek: I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but...
AZIRAPHALE
Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
The Gravedigger: Find a communications tower?
 
Aziraphale: Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
The control core cameras reveal fairly normal activity (though there are jumps here, too) up until it had no activity. Then there is just nothing.
The Gravedigger: POwer it up, ping a sattelite?
 
Apheori (GM): For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.
The control core had fairly normal activity (but jumps) up until it had no activity.
Then there was just nothing.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
Nothing.
Nothing.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
Apheori (GM): Nothing.
 
Aziraphale: Hmm... That's odd
Nothing.
Is the footage of us accurate?
 
The Gravedigger: I better not have a beetle on my back.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): You see yourself bending your sword of of shape, and such. Yeah, mostly accurate, but according to the footage only you and Gravy actually entered.
Hmm... That's odd. Is the footage of us accurate?
And then you left almost immediately.
 
Radek: Well, that can't be right...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS.
I better not have a beetle on my back.
Aziraphale: No, it can't.
 
The Gravedigger: MAYBE.
Radek searches some more and finds a segment with them in it. They see the door dent, Aziraphale's sword poke in and get bent out of shape, and then he and Gravy entering the room. None of the others come in. Then they leave almost immediately, looking a bit startled at somthing.
Apheori (GM): You're not sure what you're watching after that.
 
Greibel: What if you're the ghost?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
Well, that can't be right...
Aziraphale: but it keeps playing?
 
Apheori (GM): Yes.
AZIRAPHALE
It's oddly blue, however.
No, it can't.
Aziraphale: I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts.
 
Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment _was_ related to what happened...
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS. MAYBE.
Greibel: Oh man, this sounds groovy
 
The Gravedigger: You said they were bringing things here from another dimesion.
GREIBEL
THe thing is just working backwards.
What if you're the ghost?
Taking things from here to there.
 
Radek: I know that they're best left not tampered with.
The footage changes to become very, very confusing, but keeps going. Nobody's quite sure what they're watching after that, but it's still the room, shifted a bit blue. Which is weird, because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
The Gravedigger: WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
 
Rhu: You've never been to a zoo?
AZIRAPHALE
The Gravedigger: No?
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts. Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes? Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment ''was'' related to what happened...
Rhu: I am so sorry.
 
The Gravedigger: THey don't let you dig holes in zoos.
RADEK
Rhu: What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
I know that they're best left not tampered with.
rolling d20
 
(
GREIBEL
8
Oh man, this sounds groovy.
)
 
=
THE GRAVEDIGGER
8
You said they were bringing things here from another dimension. The thing is just working backwards. Taking things from here to there. WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
Apheori (GM): Griebel: d20
 
Greibel:
RHU
rolling 1d20
You've never been to a zoo?
(
 
8
THE GRAVEDIGGER
)
No?
=
 
8
RHU
The Gravedigger: Mucking about with science.
I am so sorry.
Aziraphale: I'm not sure.
 
I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You get this intense interest in paint.
They don't let you dig holes in zoos.
Aziraphale: Nothing appeared at the time.
 
Greibel: Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
RHU
Ganelon: This had better not be to sniff paint fumes.
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
Rhu: Did the shielding fail?
 
That's what shielding is for, right?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: Pah! I stopped sniffing paint weeks ago!
Mucking about with science.
Rhu: Radek, you'd know more about this.
 
The Gravedigger: It's still in the ship.
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon: Shielding?
I'm not sure. I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
Aziraphale: I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside
 
Greibel goes to the ship with the fanged peas and the paint can
Greibel suddenly develops an intense interest in paint. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
Aziraphale: and then when we went outside everyone was just gone.
 
GREIBEL
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's still in the ship.
 
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing appeared at the time.
 
RHU
Did the shielding fail? That's what shielding is for, right?
 
AZIRAPHALE
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside. And then when we went outside everyone was just gone. So the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside. He mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions, and that if it happened it would have destabilized outside of the range, or something.
 
Greibel goes to the spaceboat with the fanged peas and the paint can.
 
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
Greibel: Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
 
Ganelon: Please explain, miss GM.
GREIBEL
About shielding.
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Apheori (GM): They were messing with dimensional stuff, so the room was shielded.
 
Ganelon: And what I should know.
Greibel grabs the can of paint and starts hugging it like it's his favourite ever. ''(rolled 4 reality)''
Apheori (GM): So that if it did go wrong, it would be kept inside.
 
You'd probably know the theory, at least.
GREIBEL
That... uh...
I LOVE THIS PAINT. I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
Ganelon: Well, he's asking mostly about the consequences.
 
Frezak (GM): So it got inverted.
The Gravedigger looks dubiously down at him.
Apheori (GM): Right, that could have happened, but all the science says that's impossible, that's exactly what the shielding would prevent.
 
Unless something else happened that was a lot bigger.
Greibel takes some paint out and splashes it around a bit.
Aziraphale: so the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside
 
Ganelon: There actually is a path for artificers to specialize in portals and stuff, I'm just not taking it. Radek is no paragon of dimensional science.
The Gravedigger wanders off to loot some more ship-cars. He finds some random stuff - keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
 
Ganelon: But he could still know that easily enough.
He puts the cloak around his neck like a poncho. It makes him feel kind of fuzzy.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Doesn't need to be a paragon of it. He's at least heard of it.
 
Aziraphale: he mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions
RADEK
Bear Soup Guy:
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments. And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area. Much less... this wrong.
rolling 1d20
 
(
RHU
4
Maybe the shielding exploded. Maybe...  
)
(he notices Greibel)
=
What... is he doing?
4
 
Aziraphale: and that if it happened it would have destabilised outside of the range, or something.
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You grab the can of paint and start hugging it like it's your favourite ever.
 
Greibel: I LOVE THIS PAINT
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
Being a stoner.
Frezak (GM): I will stand and look dubiously down at him.
 
Wen: I will go to the bathroom. brb.
RADEK
Greibel takes some out and splashes it around a bit
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
Radek: It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments.
 
And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area.
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself. Then he realises he can't actually see or breathe with this on, which is kind of a problem, and pulls it off. ''(rolled 17 reality)'' He's a bit confused as to why he even did that in the first place, but only a little bit.
Frezak (GM): I'll go loot more ships.
 
Radek: Much less... this wrong.
GREIBEL
Rhu: Maybe the shielding exploded.
(to Gravy)
Maybe... what... is he doing?
Heeeey, nice cape, man. Real Vincent Price.
Rhu stares at Greibel.
 
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can
Aziraphale suddenly sees tentacles everywhere. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
The Gravedigger: being a stoner.
 
Radek: I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself
AAAAAAGH. TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
Rhu: Frezak: You find some random stuff: keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
 
Apheori (GM): Oops.
GREIBEL
Well, anyway, you find that.
Whoa, WHERE? Tentacles are AWESOME.
Ganelon: Ooh, riddles.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
AZIRAPHALE
Azir: d20
EVERYWHERE.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
The Gravedigger plods over and puts the shiny cloak over Aziraphale's head.
(
 
17
AZIRAPHALE
)
Mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
=
 
17
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: And computers.
Shhhhhh. They're gone.
Smart things.
 
Frezak (GM): CLOAK.
Greibel pats Aziraphale reassuringly on what is probably his shoulder.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You realise that because of the paint can on your head, you can't see or breathe, so you pull it off. You're a bit confused as to why you did that, but only a little bit.
 
Greibel does that
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): I put it around my neck like a poncho.
Don't worry bro, just ride it out.
Apheori (GM):
 
rolling 1d20 for Azir because he's out.
Aziraphale calms down a bit, realising the tentacles aren't actually harming anything even if they are real. He stops struggling.
(
 
6
The Gravedigger pulls off the cloak. Now Aziraphale still sees the tentacles, but realises they're not actually there. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' Greibel seems to be their king.
)
 
=
Then he shakes his head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
6
 
Greibel: Heeeey, nice cape, man
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): It makes you feel kind of fuzzy.
It's like dealing with children. So, where do we go now? The old lab or try to send a report back?
Greibel: Real Vincent Price
 
Aziraphale:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
I don't want to go back to that building.
(
 
1
Radek is still going through the footage. He finds some logs of the invisible shop that was there but wasn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
)
 
=
1
...
Apheori (GM): I'm totally going with that.
Wen: /me smashes the die
Ganelon: Yaaaay
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): WHOOO
Ganelon: Sometimes rolls of 1 can be very amusing and appropriate.
Apheori (GM): Azir: YOU SEE TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
Ganelon: Other times, Korik dies.
Aziraphale: AAAAAAGH
TENTACLES EVERYWHERE
Greibel: Whoa, WHERE?
Frezak (GM): I put the shiny cloak over his head.
Greibel: Tentacles are AWESOME
Aziraphale: EVERYWHERE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Aziraphale: mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
Apheori (GM): Aww.
The Gravedigger: Shhhhhh.
They're gone.
Wen: is it just me or does the stoner average much better rolls?
Greibel pats Azi reassuringly
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel much calmer, and realise you were freaking out over nothing. Even if the tentacles are real, they weren't hurting anyone.
Greibel: Don't worry bro, just ride it out
Frezak (GM): I'll take the thing off when he stops struggling.
Ganelon: Yeah, he does seem to roll really well.
Aziraphale stops struggling
Apheori (GM): Well is relative. >.>
Azir: d20
Ganelon: Meanwhile, Gravy has been trending towards good sanity.
Wen: if I get a one again..
Ganelon: And I think I've been the opposite.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Wen: \o/
Bear Soup Guy: ahahah such disparity
Ganelon: A lot of shitty d20s but good SCIENCE ROLLS.
Apheori (GM): Gravy also has a much higher base sanity than most of the others. Radek too.
Ganelon: I wasn't even aware this was a stat.
Frezak (GM): I do?
Apheori (GM): Oh. I shouldn't have told you that.
Wen: me neither. I've not really been playing insane.
Frezak (GM): okay >.>
Ganelon: But it would make sense for Gravy to be more...
Apheori (GM): ANYWAY MOVING ON.
Ganelon: ...
Frezak (GM): Well I sort of guessed.
Ganelon: Down to earth.
Wen: Snrk.
Apheori (GM): You don't have to be insane to sometimes lose it.
Ganelon grins.
Wen: well what did my 20 earn me?
Apheori (GM): Oh, right.
Gravy pulls off the cloak. You still see the tentacles, but realise they're not actually there. Greibel seems to be their king.
Then you shake your head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
Wen: excellent.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
The Gravedigger: It's like dealing with children.
SO, where do we go now?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
The Gravedigger: MADNESS
10
Apheori (GM): Also these aren't all sanity checks. Sometimes I'm making you roll other things and just not telling you. I hope you don't mind.
The Gravedigger: THe old lab or try to send a report back?
Apheori (GM): What was Radek doing? Radek was doing things.
Wen: I'm pretty sure I escaped all the input properly. >.>
Aziraphale: I don't want to go back to that building.
Wen: would there be anything useful in the shielded room where the experiment was done?
Ganelon: I was just looking at footage on this computer.
Apheori (GM): Wen: Maybe. You wouldn't necessarily know the difference. There was certainly... stuff.
Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Oh hey, it was above 10 this time.
Apheori (GM): You also find the invisible shop that is there but isn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
It's full of fallen leaves.
It's full of fallen leaves.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Ganelon: Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision."
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision." My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
 
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Ganelon: I'm ready to move on.
 
Frezak (GM): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Radek seems to be about done at this point and gets up.
So, comm tower, then?
 
Unless anyone has a better idea?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Your perception checks mean something.
Let's go to the comm tower.
Aziraphale: Sure, let's go to the comm tower.
 
Frezak (GM): But we have no idea whether anything we see is real, or what level of reality we're talking about.
Greibel stares absently up at the lava lamp sky. It looks totally awesome.
Apheori (GM): From the map, it looks like that's in the building opposite the one you went to before.
 
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking, but just sees cracks. They're still there. The light is still wrong. It makes him feel kind of ill.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: LAVA LAMP SKY.
 
...this is a friendly reminder from your dm that it looks totally awesome.
He stops looking and shrugs.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Greibel stares absently at the lava lamp sky
 
Wen: what can we do about it though
EXT. STAIRS LEADING UP TO COMM TOWER - weird-arse twilight
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: The cracks are still there. The light is still wrong. It makes you kind of ill.
The sky may or may not seem to be lightening. It's hard to say.
Aziraphale stops looking, shrugs
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
In the meantime, the party comes to the building in question. There are stairs leading up to the entrance, but there is unfortunately also a large chunk of twisted metal across the base, forming a wall blocking the way.
Everyone: You head for the building, I suppose.
 
Greibel:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
Radek, would the toy gun be able to blast through that? Well, let's examine it first, I think.
(
 
9
GREIBEL
)
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it.
=
 
9
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you all head for the building, but there's a large chunk of metal blocking the steps up to the door.
 
Aziraphale: Radek: Would the toy gun be able to blast through that?
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): TIME TO FIND OUT.
The universe is changing...
Aziraphale: ...crap. the DM left.
 
oh nm
Rhu walks through wall like it's not even there.
Apheori (GM): Chromium crashed.
 
So you want to try blasting it?
RHU
Aziraphale: Let's examine it first, I think
Yep.
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
 
See if our manly muscles can dislodge it.
RADEK
Or if we can walk through it >.>
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
Greibel: If we try enough, we probably can walk through it
 
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly
The Gravedigger tries to walk through as well, but carefully. He finds it solid.
Greibel: The universe is changing...
 
Rhu walks through it.
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): SEE?
let's all try?
Radek: I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
 
Rhu: Yep.
They do. Greibel makes it through. ''(rolled 9 reality)'' The others do not.
Frezak (GM): I'll try, but CAREFULLY.
 
Don't want to run into a physical barrier.
GREIBEL
Unlesss....
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
Apheori (GM): Gravy tries to walk through it but finds it solid.
 
Frezak (GM): It's only mad people that can go trhough it.
RADEK
I'M TOO SANE.
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
aaaaaaaaa
 
Aziraphale: let's all try?
The Gravedigger tries to muscle the block of metal aside, but it's too huge to budge by conventional means. ''(rolled 19 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Everyone: Rolld20.
 
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
Aziraphale tries to talk to it. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
15
 
Aziraphale:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass? ...I have candy!
(
 
13
GREIBEL
)
That's the spirit, holy brother.
=
 
13
BLOCK OF METAL
Greibel:
Hey, sexy. What kind of candy?
rolling 1d20
 
(
None of the others can hear it, just Aziraphale and possibly Greibel.
9
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
King-sized Snickers.
9
 
Ganelon:
BLOCK OF METAL
rolling 1d20
Oooo, you are a babe.
(
 
10
AZIRAPHALE
)
You can have it if you let us pass!
=
 
10
BLOCK OF METAL
Apheori (GM): Greibel makes it. The rest of you don't.
Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
SANE PEOPLE.
 
Apheori (GM) points and laughs.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek grumbles to himself.
This isn't the first wall that talked to me. I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Frezak (GM): Hag.
 
Greibel: ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): NO. I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL. I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
Frezak (GM): I'd like to see if I can muscle it.
 
Aziraphale: what's the block like?
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): Aw.
Radek: I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
 
Apheori (GM): A twisted lump of thick metal.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek and puts him down a bit further away from the block of metal.
Aziraphale: does it look like it can be blasted through?
 
Apheori (GM): It looks like it was blasted through and that's how it got here... but it also looks like it was specifically designed to resist such things.
Aziraphale walks into the wall chunk thing. As he passes through, it makes strange squelching noises. He feels rather dirty when he comes out the other side, and down a candybar.
Gravy: d20.
 
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
THE GRAVEDIGGER
19
Move aside, crazy people! IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE.
Apheori (GM): Well, that's boring.
 
You try to move it and nothing happens.
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): Huh.
Well, let's get out of the way.
Aziraphale tries to talk to it
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Rhu goes to try the door the wall was blocking.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
The folks on the other side move up the stairs, away from the block of metal.
(
 
2
The Gravedigger levels the gun at the block of meta and shoots a fireball, only to have it go right through and explode on the stairs on the other side, below Greibel and Rhu. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
)
 
=
THE GRAVEDIGGER
2
SORRY.
Apheori (GM): Talk to it.
 
Aziraphale: Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass?
GREIBEL
...I have candy!
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous.
Block of metal: Hey, sexy.
 
Greibel: That's the spirit, holy brother
The block of metal starts sobbing quietly.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
Block of metal: What kind of candy?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aziraphale: King-sized Snickers.
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH? DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE. JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
Block of metal: Oooo, you are a babe.
 
Aziraphale: you can have it if you let us pass!
GREIBEL
Block of metal: Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And ''I'm'' the crazy one for pouring paint on my head?
Wen: gods XD
 
Frezak (GM): NO.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
Azi talked to it. You didn't call HIM crazy!
Frezak (GM): I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL.
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD XD XD
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
Well Aziraphale is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
Aziraphale: This isn't the first wall that talked to me..
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aziraphale: I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Talk to them, apparently.
Wen: aw.
 
Frezak (GM): I'm assuming we didn't hear the metal talk back?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Right.
Apparently.
Frezak (GM): Well', I start picking people up and putting them down further away.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You walk into the wall.
AZIRAPHALE
chunk.
HEY! I don't normally talk to walls.
Thing.
 
Frezak (GM): Wait.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So that's just me and Radek, now?
So you SAY.
Apheori (GM): As you pass through, it makes strange squelching noises.
 
Frezak (GM): EW
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): You feel rather dirty.
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall.
Frezak (GM): SOiled.
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You can see the others on the other side, higher up on the steps.
But yes.
Wen: she does this on purpose >.>
Apheori (GM): >.>
Bear Soup Guy: =D
The Gravedigger: MOve aside, crazy people!
IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE
Apheori (GM): The universe hates paladins. Any opportunity to mess with the paladin!
Aziraphale: well, let's get out of the way.
Frezak (GM): FIRE IN THE HOOOOLE
Apheori (GM): Frezak: d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
3
WHOOO
Apheori (GM): Er, how out of the way did the others get?
Aziraphale: I went a fair bit.
Given my cautious and conservative and risk-averse nature.
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu and I have presumably been walking up the stairs this whole time
Apheori (GM): Okay, so Azir's off to the side and the other two are up by the door.
Gravy: You shoot a fireball at the metal, only to have it go right through it and explode on the stairs below Greibel and Rhu.
The Gravedigger: SORRY.
Greibel: Hey man, that stuff's dangerous
Block of metal sobs quietly.
The Gravedigger: TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH?
DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE.
JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
Greibel: Dude, you're talking to a metal wall
And /I'm/ the crazy one for pouring paint on my head
The Gravedigger: Azi talked to it.
You didn't call HIM crazy!
Greibel: Well Azi is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
The Gravedigger: Talk to them, apparently.
Greibel: Apparently
Aziraphale: HEY!
I don't normally talk to walls.
The Gravedigger: So you SAY.
Greibel: I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
Radek: To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
 
The Gravedigger: You want to try, Radek?
RADEK
I'lll let you have a turn.
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
Radek: Very well.
 
Ganelon: Straight d20?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Might as well.
You want to try, Radek? I'll let you have a turn.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
He passes the gun to Radek.
(
 
4
RADEK
)
Very well.
=
 
4
Radek shoots the wall, and the fireball goes right through again. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' He hands the weapon back to the Gravedigger.
Frezak (GM): GORRAM
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear the wall chunk screaming.
Aziraphale hears the wall chunk screaming, and shudders slightly.
The fireball goes right through again, though.
 
Ganelon: I'll hand the weapon back.
GREIBEL
Aziraphale shudders slightly
(to Aziraphale)
Frezak (GM): Okay, there any windows?
It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
Greibel: (to Azi) It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
 
Apheori (GM): No windows, but you might be able to just climb over it if you tried.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly
 
Frezak (GM): I'll give that a try?
The Gravedigger finally just stows his shield and climbs over the thing, leaving Radek behind. ''(rolled 18 athletics)''
Athletics?
 
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Radek then approaches the wall. ''(rolled 7 reality)'' The wall chunk sits there.
Frezak (GM): I'll stow my shield for this.
 
rolling 1D20+8
RADEK
(
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
18
 
)
The wall chunk continues to sit there.
+8
 
=
RADEK
26
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Apheori (GM): You climb over the thing.
 
Leaving Radek behind.
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle. ''(rolled 11 reality)''
Ganelon: I'll approach the wall.
 
Frezak (GM): And proposition it.
From the other side:
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
 
Ganelon:
RHU
rolling 1d20
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
(
 
7
GREIBEL
)
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
=
 
7
The wall starts trembling in fear. Everyone sees it.
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk sits there.
 
Radek: Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk continues to sit there.
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
d20
 
Radek:
The wall is still trembling.
rolling 1d20
 
(
To Aziraphale, it sounds as though the wall is apologising.
15
 
)
Radek pokes it again.  ''(rolled 9 reality)'' The poke goes through.
=
 
15
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Your doubt in what you're trying to do remains, and the wall chunk likewise remains stolid.
I have rope!
Frezak (GM): You want me to throw you a rope to help you climb over?
 
Radek: You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Radek attempts to pass through the wall. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' He walks into the wall. It resists, but he is sick and tired of this and manages to pass through anyway. When he comes out the other side, however, he's covered in a strange metallic film.
Frezak (GM): Are you Intimidating a wall?
 
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle.
RADEK
Rhu: Or you could use a rope to climb over.
Fascinating.
Ganelon: Yes.
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
GREIBEL
Radek:
Groovy.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Radek realises he can't breathe. Then he realises it doesn't seem to matter. He feels fine. He feels better than he has in quite awhile, in fact.
11
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
So are you a robot now?
11
 
Greibel: Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): SANE MAN.
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard.
Ganelon: Still solid, then.
 
Apheori (GM): The wall starts trembling in fear. You all see it.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): What.
I haven't the faintest idea.
Radek: Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
RHU
Radek:
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
rolling 1d20
 
(
RADEK
9
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
)
 
=
RHU
9
(pointing back)
Apheori (GM): The wall is still trembling.
The door won't open.
The Gravedigger: I have rope!
 
Ganelon: I'll poke it again.
Now that everyone's over, they give it a proper look. It's a glass slidey door with an electric lock.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear it apologising.
 
The poke goes through.
Radek starts getting out his electronic tinkering tools.
Ganelon: Then I'll attempt to pass through.
 
Apheori (GM): d20
GREIBEL
Ganelon:
Or we could break the glass...
rolling 1d20
 
(
Greibel taps the glass with his staff.
20
 
)
Rhu hits it with his maul. It cracks.
=
 
20
GREIBEL
COME ON
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
 
Heh.
RADEK
Heh.
Gladly.
Frezak (GM) sighs.
 
Bear Soup Guy is enjoying this
Radek slams the glass surface with all the force of a single emaciated old man. It partly melts and partly shatters. Some bits stick to him and dissolve into the strange metallic film.
Frezak (GM): With this many rolls, chances of him getting past like this are pretty slim.
 
Apheori (GM): His chances were getting better each time. This is how the descent into madness works.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Greibel: That actually makes sense
 
err
Radek climbs through.
OOC
 
Ganelon: Well, what happens?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek, you walk into the wall. It resists, but you're sick and tired of this and manage to pass through anyway. When you come out the other side, however, you're covered in a strange metlalic film.
Wicked.
Radek: Fascinating.
 
Frezak (GM): Delightful.
Greibel and the others follow.
Greibel: Groovy
 
Ganelon: Unless it's inhibiting my ability to breathe.
 
Apheori (GM): You realise you can't breathe.
INT. HALLWAY - weird-arse twilight
Frezak (GM): That might be an undesirable outcome.
 
That's bad.
It's not terribly interesting. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
Apheori (GM): Then you realise it doesn't seem to matter?
 
Frezak (GM): Worse.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): You feel fine. You feel better than you have in quite awhile, in fact.
Hey, what day is it?
Ganelon: Nah, he'd be pretty cool with that. Breathing sucks anyway, just like eating.
 
The Gravedigger: SO are you a robot now?
Greibel rubs his stomach absently. It's not even clearly day. The sun disappeared at some point, but the stars never came out and now the sky has just been glowing weirdly with cracks.
Greibel: He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard
 
Radek: I haven't the faintest idea.
GREIBEL
Rhu: Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
Frezak (GM): They made him eat his own sausages.
 
Radek: Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): onwards.
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to. Well, you can. I'll do without.
Ganelon: All things considered this is a very acceptable state of affairs.
 
Rhu: The door won't open.
The Gravedigger heads for the stairs, and the others follow.
Frezak (GM): graaah
 
Apheori (GM): Oops.
 
Oh, whatever.
INT. STAIRWELL
Rhu tried the door and it wouldn't open.
 
Frezak (GM): What kind of door is it?
It's stairs.
What kind of locK?
 
Apheori (GM): Slidey door. Glass. Electric lock.
Gravy ''(rolled 18 reality)'' and Rhu ''(rolled 4 (reality)'' hear strange noises and what might be voices.
Frezak (GM): Radek?
 
Finangle,
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Messing with electronics then?
I hear noises.
Frezak (GM): Anyone have a better idea?
 
Greibel: Or we could break the glass...
RHU
Greibel taps the glass with his staff
Voices?
Rhu hits it with whatever his weapon is.
 
Apheori (GM): It cracks.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Rhu has a Maul.
Maybe.
Apheori (GM): The maul cracked it.
 
Frezak (GM): great
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Do something.
I don't.
Ganelon: Just thinking.
 
Frezak (GM): Well we go in!
RHU
Ganelon: Cracked or shattered?
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
Greibel pushes it
 
Ganelon: Because I'm not opposed to at least testing this weird metallic stuff against sharp glass.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Cracked.
Awesome. Let's keep going.
And now it's more cracked.
 
Greibel: Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man
AZIRAPHALE
Radek: Gladly.
I hear nothing.
Ganelon: I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
 
Or glass surface, if you prefer.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): XD
I always hear things. But no more than usual.
You slam into it and it partly melts and partly shatters.
 
Some bits stick to you and melt into the strange metallic film.
They climb the stairs. A lot. Aziraphale and Rhu flag a little bit behind because it's pretty exhausting. Along the way, absolutely nothing weird happens.
Ganelon: He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
 
Alright, I'll climb through if a suitable hole can be made.
For whatever reason, Radek keeps up just fine.
Greibel: Wicked
 
Apheori (GM): It's pretty holed now.
Aziraphale has a horrible thought and hurriedly catches up.
Big enough for the others to follow as well.
 
Frezak (GM): I do so.
Rhu gets left a bit behind and then collapses. ''(rolled 4 reality)''
Greibel does so
 
Apheori (GM): You're in a hallway. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
AZIRAPHALE)
Greibel: Hey, what day is it?
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
Frezak (GM): The sign is misspelled?
 
Ganelon: I was just about to ask.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel Greibel rubs his stomach absently
Well? Pick him up!
Apheori (GM): You don't know. The sun disappeared and the stars never came out and now the sky was just glowing weirdly with cracks.
 
Frezak: Sure, why not.
Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
Greibel: Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
 
Radek: We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to.
GREIBEL
Well, you can. I'll do without.
Oik!
Frezak (GM): Stairs going up?
 
Apheori (GM): Up and down.
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): I go up.
I think we'd better take a rest. Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
 
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door. There is something very important on the other side that he simply must get to.
5
 
Ganelon:
Gravy grabs the swarm of bats. ''(rolled 22 against swarm reflex)''
rolling 1d20
 
(
He drags the swarm of bats up the stairs, and they struggle mightily as they are pulled away from the door.
18
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
(now dragging Rhu)
18
Can we get him to turn back?
Aziraphale:
Maybe we should check out that door?
rolling 1d20
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
13
(not stopping)
)
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful. Always pointing out useful things.
=
 
13
AZIRAPHALE
Rhu:
Well, why else did you bring him?
rolling 1d20
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
4
Not my choice.
)
 
=
Greibel flaps around.
4
 
Greibel:
Finally the party reaches the floor they were after.
rolling 1d20
 
(
 
18
INT. CORRIDOR etc
)
 
=
Everyone spills out. Aziraphale drops Rhu, and Greibel finally calms down and forgets what made him so agitated ''(rolled 13 reality)''.
18
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy and Rhu hear strange noises and what might be voices as you enter the stairwell.
Greibel stops being bats and Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
The Gravedigger: I hear noises.
 
Rhu: Voices?
The Gravedigger: Maybe.
Radek: I don't.
Rhu: Rattling, creaking, scraping...
The Gravedigger: Awesome.
Let's keep going.
Aziraphale: I hear nothing.
Greibel: I always hear things
But no more than usual
Apheori (GM): You climb a lot.
Frezak (GM): okay.
Apheori (GM): Azir and Rhu fall behind because it's pretty exhausting.
Absolutely nothing weird happens.
Wen: They don't wait for us? The bastards.
Apheori (GM): Eh, you're not that far behind.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I assume it would be normal for me to be falling behind too.
Apheori (GM): It probably would be normal, but you're not.
Frezak (GM): I'm the apex of physical prowess.
Apheori (GM): You and Greibel both.
...somehow.
Well, aside from the strength.
Frezak (GM): Smoking is apparently great.
Apheori (GM): But nevermind that.
Bear Soup Guy: It sure is
Ganelon: Greibel's a pretty tough guy, actually.
He's the second most durable in the party, if not the best armored (that would be Azi)
Frezak (GM): I KEEP WALKING.
Apheori (GM): So you guys probably slow down for the others?
Okay, he doesn't.
Wen: I have a feeling that the DM is going to drag me out and shoot me or something by deliberately leaving me with an NPC
>.>
Aziraphale walks more quickly
Apheori (GM): Eh, the NPC is supposed to be a PC; the player just isn't here.
Ganelon: In this crazy place?
Apheori (GM): But you can never count on anything.
Ganelon: If you need to be removed, it wouldn't be unexpected for you to just disappear.
Apheori (GM): Dude, that shouldn't be unexpected regardless.
Ganelon: Hyper-dimensional manhole.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU'VE REACHED THE MANHOLE
Oh sorry
Apheori (GM): Fortunately you have not encountered any maholes.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I wouldn't trust one to be stable for an instant.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you all keep climbing. Rhu gets left a bit behind.
Manholes are never stable.
This is why they stay in the ground.
Everyone roll a d20
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
16
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
4
)
=
4
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Wen: BSG!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Frezak (GM): great
Wen: crap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu collapses.
Aziraphale: Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
The Gravedigger: Well? Pick him up!
Apheori (GM): Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off.
Greibel: Oik!
Aziraphale: I think we'd better take a rest.
Frezak (GM): Blaaargh.
Aziraphale: Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: There is something very important there and you MUST get to it.
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door
Apheori (GM): Having a wildshaping crazy person is awesome.
Wen: Typical. If someone rolls a 1, bad things happen. 19? Nope, nothing, nothing at all. It's just like life.
Gotta get lucky to live normally, but a bit of rotten luck can get you down
/nick Marvin >.>
Frezak (GM): I grab the swarm.
Apheori (GM): Make a grabby thing.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+4
(
18
)
+4
=
22
Vs... AC or reflex? I forget.
Ganelon: Reflex.
Apheori (GM): Do swarms get extra anything? For being swarms.
Frezak (GM): Nope.
4E is weird that way.
Ganelon: Strangely, not against grabs.
Apheori (GM): Great. You now have a swarm of bats.
Did anyone get Rhu?
Aziraphale: Can we get him to turn back?
Frezak (GM): I drag the swarm of bats up the stairs.
Aziraphale: I'm dragging him
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You're almost to the floor with the important things.
Frezak (GM): great.
Apheori (GM): The bats seriously struggle as you pull them away from that door.
Frezak (GM): I seriously pull.
Opposed strength checks?
Apheori (GM): Oh, you win.
But they like that door a lot.
Frezak (GM): Well, tough.
Aziraphale: Maybe we should check out that door?
The Gravedigger: Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful.
Always pointing out useful things.
Aziraphale: Well, why else did you bring him?
The Gravedigger: Not my choice.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Ganelon: Poor Greibel. Nobody ever believes him.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Apheori (GM): Okay, nothing changes with them.
Greibel flaps around
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
The Gravedigger: MADNESS
18
Apheori (GM): You make it to the door you want and spill out into the corridor.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Frezak (GM): great
 
Apheori (GM): Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Aziraphale follows the blood
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You realise there are footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with it. They appear to be hooflike.
Rhu gets up.
Ganelon: I don't object to this course of action.
 
Apheori (GM): everyone but Azir: d20
RHU
Rhu:
This feels like a dead end.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Aziraphale follows the blood. He notices footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with the draggee. They appear to be hooflike.
11
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
Guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
11
 
Frezak (GM): MADNESS
Aziraphale follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut. He cautiously attempts to turn the handle, and the door comes open at a touch, not even latched.
10
 
Aziraphale: guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors. There's some other equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
Apheori (GM): Rhu recovers and gets up.
 
Greibel:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
Eugh.
(
 
13
Unfortunately this also seems to be the room they were after.
)
 
=
GREIBEL
13
(from the doorway)
Rhu: This feels like a dead end.
Like I always say, the room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
RHU
(
Hazz'ridan.
17
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
Huh.
17
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You calm down and forget whatever had you so agitated.
GREIBEL
Aziraphale: Still batty though?
Come again?
Bear Soup Guy: Am I bats?
 
Frezak (GM): Fells like a dead end to Rhu, looks like what to the rest of us?
RHU
Apheori (GM): You're still bats unless you stop being bats.
A dead end.
The rest of you don't feel anything in particular about it, though it's pretty messy.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I stop being bats
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Can I even get messy at this point?
Well...
Apheori (GM): Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
 
Wen: where does the blood lead?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Gan: You don't know.
Some things might still work.
Ganelon: Well then.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut.
Greibel suddenly disappears. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
Aziraphale cautiously attempts to turn the handle
 
Apheori (GM): Azir reaches for the handle, and the door opens at the pressure. Not even latched.
AZIRAPHALE
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors.
GREIBELLLLL!
Aziraphale: Eugh.
 
Apheori (GM): You realise this was probably the room you were after, too.
To Rhu ''(rolled 9 reality)'' and Aziraphale ''(rolled 6 reality)'', it feels as though the room has begun to slide.
Greibel: Like I always say
 
Apheori (GM): There's some equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
Aziraphale backs out of the room, trying to keep his balance.
Greibel: The room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened
 
Rhu: Hazz'ridan.
Radek feels the sliding even harder, and falls over, landing in the blood. ''(rolled 3 reality)'' His silvery coating absorbs a small amount, but other than that he remains clean.
The Gravedigger: Huh.
 
Greibel: Come again?
Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
Rhu: A dead end.
 
Greibel: Well...
The Gravedigger backs out of the room and sits down with his head in his hands, and then Rhu backs into him.
The Gravedigger: Some things might still work.
 
Apheori (GM): SANITY EVERYONE.
Radek stands up again after a moment and looks around. There seems to be less blood now.
The Gravedigger: 19
 
Apheori (GM): Lots of blood, horrible smell, very awful.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything. The blood also doesn't smell/feel quite right, but it's not even clear what kind it is. Or if Radek is even capable of smell.
Rhu:
 
rolling 1d20
He heads back outside as well, not running into the others.
(
 
9
Everyone is in the hall, aside from Greibel, who is just gone.
)
 
=
RADEK
9
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
AZIRAPHALE
(
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
1
 
)
RADEK
=
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
1
 
Bear Soup Guy: Oh bugger
RHU
Frezak (GM): graah
But?
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
RADEK
(
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
6
 
)
Aziraphale checks his phone. He hears a suggestive voice come out and try to chat him up. ''(rolled 3 reality)''
=
 
6
He resolutely ignores it and stuffs the thing back in his pocket.
...
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel disappears.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
Aziraphale: GREIBELLLLL
Radek tries his radio. ''(rolled 13 reality)'' It turns on, but complains about the low signal strength, and locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Apheori (GM): Rhu and Azir feel the room seems to... slide.
 
Aziraphale backs out of the room
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
Well, this isn't very helpful.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
AZIRAPHALE
(
How are we going to look for Greibel?
3
 
)
RADEK
=
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
3
 
Sorry, late.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Radek feels the same thing, and falls over, landing in the blood.
What's the local signal range?
Ganelon: Bwuh.
 
Apheori (GM): Some of it is absorbed into the shiny suit.
He checks his own radio.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will leave the room and sit down with his head in his hands.
 
Ganelon: At this rate, my shiny suit will surely be ruined.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Rhu backs away and runs into Gravy.
Eh, we can just leave. He'll come around eventually.
Ganelon: Am I still conscious and in control of my actions?
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah. You just fell over.
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon: I suppose I'll stand up and look around, then.
So Greibel's just gone.
Apheori (GM): There's less blood now.
 
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You might be able to get parts, but they'd be bloody parts.
Or not. Space and time here are a bloody mess. Nothing means anything.
The blood also doesn't smell quite right. You're not sure what kind it is.
 
Ganelon: I don't have an easy way to clean stuff other than people, strangely.
RADEK
Guess I'll just walk outside.
(he scoffs)
Unless there's a roll I can do to identify this blood.
Literally bloody, in this case.
Wen: I think aside from Greibel all of us are outside.
 
Ganelon: That doesn't seem like something Radek would be good at, though.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Everyone is in the hall. Greibel is gone. You can identify the blood from outside.
Ho. Ho. Ho.
That's true.
(he looks around)
Greibel might have been the best bet with his nature and crap, though maybe not.
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
(From Aziraphale): can I disappear for 10-15 minutes or so? Or is there a plot element involving me coming up?
 
Radek: I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aziraphale: Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
(To Wen): Best have you around, though. Perhaps we should all just break for a bit? I could use some lunch.
 
(From Aziraphale): either way. Your call.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Let's take a break. Wen needs to do something and I need lunch.
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
Radek: I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
 
Rhu: But?
RADEK
Radek: Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed. You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
Rhu: Bah!
This place!
It pleases Hazz'ridan, I'm sure.
Ganelon: Actually, radios. Still unusable?
Apheori (GM): Good question.
LUNCH FIRST.
Apheori (GM) runs away.
Ganelon: Sure.
Apheori (GM): Wen: DO YOUR THING.
Bear Soup Guy: Bow chicka bow wow
Wen twiddles his thumbs
Apheori (GM): Okay, back.
Peeling shrimp and cleaning cilantro, these things can't be rushed. I know this because I tried. >.<
Wen: sounds exotic
Apheori (GM): If by exotic, you mean what I have every day when I'm too lazy to do anything else, then yes.
Okay, so is everyone else still here?
Gan was going to try radios...
Ganelon: I'm here.
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Wen: Frezak?
Apheori (GM): I guess the Gravedigger dozed off.
Ganelon: I'm sure Frezak will be back.
Apheori (GM): Aye.
So radios?
Frezak (GM): Well, radios?
I'm not trying mine, since all mine did was scream at me.
Ganelon: Radios.
Aziraphale checks his
Wen: keep in mind mine's probably local, not spaceship stuff.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Ganelon: Let's see if anyone can get a hold of Houdini here.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Wen: ...
Apheori (GM): Azir hears a suggestive voice come out of his and try to chat him up.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Wen: I resolutely ignore it and stuff the thing back in my pocket.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: I'll try mine.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon: Perhaps it will whisper unknowable secrets to me.
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Apheori (GM): It turns on and complains about the low signal strength.
Bear Soup Guy: Bloody service providers
Apheori (GM): It locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Wen: what about Greibel's?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't find it.
Aziraphale: Well, this isn't very helpful.
(To Greibel): So I guess you're probably having an adventure somewhere weird while all of this is going on.
Aziraphale: How are we going to look for Greibel?
Bear Soup Guy: http://data2.whicdn.com/images/69136546/large.jpg
Radek: Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
Rhu: What's the local signal range?
The Gravedigger: eh, we can just leave.
he'll come around eventually.
Ganelon: What IS the local signal range?
Enough to cover this building, I'm sure.
Apheori (GM): You check and find it should cover most of the city.
Frezak (GM): Not that any of the dimensions mean anything at all here.
Aziraphale: So Greibel's just gone.
The Gravedigger: Or not.
Space and time here are a bloody mess.
Nothing means anything.
Wen: try dialing 911? >.> would that work?
Radek scoffs. "Literally bloody, in this case."
Wen: (or the Srathi equivalent)
The Gravedigger: Ho. Ho. Ho.
Apheori (GM): There's noone to call. You would have tried when you first found everyone gone.
Wen: well, my radio wasn't working.
but okay.
The Gravedigger: We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Well, whatever. There's nothing in range. >.<
The Gravedigger: I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
Aziraphale: Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
Radek: Nothing that hasn't been destroyed.
You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
We'll all lose our minds first.
Aziraphale: Fair enough.
 
Let's go then.
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon: I consent to this "going."
Fair enough. Let's go then.
Frezak (GM): Clomp, clomp, clomp.
 
Aziraphale: (poor Greibel)
The Gravedigger clomps off.
Wen: so do we make it outside minus Greibel?
 
Apheori (GM): Roll d20s.
AZIRAPHALE
Ganelon:
(quietly)
rolling 1d20
Poor Greibel.
(
 
20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
)
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
=
 
20
 
The Gravedigger: Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
EXT. Grassy plains - afternoon
Rhu:
 
rolling d20
Grassy plains roll into the distance, with majestic mountains marking one of the horizons. A huge, solitary tree rises out of one of the nearby knolls, shading the area around in dappled coolness as a slight breeze rustles its leaves. Birds are singing in its branches, and the entire thing has a wonderful feeling of beautiful peacefulness.
(
 
18
Greibel finds himself at the tree's base. It's quite comfortable, and he simply sits back and looks out at all the awesome nature.
)
 
=
The awesome nature continues to be awesome, filling him with feelings of welcome and comfort and warmth, like he has come home at last, without anything to worry about. It's a high better than any other, but without direct cause. It is just the place.
18
 
Ganelon: SUPER SANE
So it's awesome and Greibel is there and time fades away and he becomes one with the awesome.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
Aaaand then it suddenly ends with a horrible tearing feeling/sound, and he feels only falling.
(
 
4
 
)
EXT. Park - weird-arse twilight
=
 
4
The party finds another exit out the other side of the building. It seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
The Gravedigger: 12
 
Apheori (GM): You all find another exit out the other side of the building. Do you take it, or continue back down to the exit with the chunk of metal on the stairs?
Aziraphale notices Radek starting to glow. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' Radek, on the other hand, feels... smarter than usual. Not that this would necessarily register as such. ''(rolled 20 reality)''
Frezak (GM): Does this other exit appear obstructed at all?
 
Apheori (GM): Naw. Seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Sure?
Hm.
Guys?
 
Ganelon: Sure.
AZIRAPHALE
Aziraphale: Yeah, why not
Er, Radek, are you alright?
so long as it doesn't try to talk to me
 
Aziraphale shudders
RADEK
Ganelon: Poor paladin, ever assaulted by temptations.
I feel fine.
From inanimate objects.
 
Apheori (GM): And Radek starts glowing.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
At least Azir thinks he does.
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood. Of course he's fine.
Radek: Hm.
 
Ganelon: Oh. He doesn't notice?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Radek probably notices something, but not the glow itself.
Well, only he's glowing. That or I'm going insane, or both. Probably both.
Aziraphale: Er, Radek, are you alright?
 
Radek: I feel fine.
RADEK
The Gravedigger: His skin is made of metal and glass and blood.
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
Of course he's fine.
Aziraphale: well, only he's glowing
that or I'm going insane, or both
Probably both.
Radek: With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
...Marvelous substance.
Apheori (GM): You all hear a loud crack from one of the trees in the park.
 
Greibel and a branch fall out.
A loud crack comes from one of the trees in the park. Greibel and a branch tumble out.
Frezak (GM): Great.
 
We find a stoner.
GREIBEL
Greibel: Ow!
Ow!
Wen: is he in humanoid shape?
 
Frezak (GM): How else would we recognise him?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
Hey, Greibel.
The Gravedigger: Hey, Greibel.
 
Greibel: What happened, man?
GREIBEL
Radek: You disappeared again.
What happened, man?
Greibel: Oh yeah
 
it was so peaceful...
RADEK
I was in a field of nature.
You disappeared again.
And I became one with the nature.
 
The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah. It was so peaceful... I was in a field of nature. And I became one with the nature. The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
Much better than this place.
Radek: Welcome back to reality.
 
Greibel: But this was reality too!
RADEK
Radek: Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us.
Welcome back to reality.
At least physically, if it can be helped.
 
Greibel: Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
GREIBEL
Rhu: And how did you wind up over here?
But this was reality too!
The Gravedigger: magic.
 
Rhu: Of all the places. Pretty specific.
RADEK
(To Bear Soup Guy): You may notice this tree looks suspiciously similar to the one you were under before, though a bit less healthy.
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us. At least physically, if it can be helped.
Radek: How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
 
Greibel: Hey man, I was sitting under this tree.
GREIBEL
For...ever, it feels like
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
 
Radek: The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
RHU
Greibel: Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality
And how did you wind up over here?
Aziraphale: So what do we do?
 
Rhu: Pray for a dead end.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: I'd rather a solution.
Magic.
Aziraphale: Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
 
Ganelon: Ha. Chemistry joke
RHU
The Gravedigger: Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
Rhu: Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
 
Greibel: Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
To Greibel, the tree looks suspiciously similar to the one he was under before, though a bit less healthy.
Aziraphale: Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck
 
maybe your god can help us?
RADEK
Rhu: I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
Aziraphale: Oh.
 
The Gravedigger: Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
GREIBEL
Rhu: There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree. For... ever, it feels like. Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
The Gravedigger: That sounds just great.
 
Rhu: It does?
RADEK
The Gravedigger: Let's pray so that we can mope.
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
 
Rhu: Yes! It will.
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: I'm going to go look for a boat.
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality.
(From Aziraphale): My god is called Carriya, yes? I lost the link >.>
 
Greibel: Hey, I remember boats
AZIRAPHALE
(From Aziraphale): law, order and process.. I think?
So what do we do?
(To Wen): Yeah.
 
(From Aziraphale): okay.
RHU
Aziraphale looks at the sky
Pray for a dead end.
(To Wen): You also probably consider Hazz'ridan to be a bit of a joke.
 
(From Aziraphale): I'm sure they are.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
I'd rather a solution.
(To Wen): Yes.
 
Aziraphale:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
(
 
5
THE GRAVEDIGGER
)
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
=
 
5
RHU
Wen: >.<
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
Apheori (GM): Gravedigger: The borders of the park have car-ship thingies docked at them.
 
Ganelon: We need to put on blinders.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): They look fairly intact.
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
Frezak (GM): I'll check to see if any have keys in and/or seem intact after prodding and examination.
 
Greibel: Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Azir: You see the sky glowing with that same eiery glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck. Maybe your god can help us?
Azir: As you watch, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye.
 
Aziraphale: AAAAAGH.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Azir: It stares directly at you.
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
At, and possibly through.
 
Aziraphale averts his eyes
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20
Oh.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
13
 
)
RHU
=
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
13
 
Rhu:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling d20
That sounds just great.
(
 
9
RHU
)
It does?
=
 
9
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You poke a car and it doesn't turn to dust. It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat.
Let's pray so that we can mope. Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
Greibel is disappointed but will accept this positive turn of fate
 
Ganelon: Oh, neat.
RHU
Frezak (GM): 3
Yes! It will.
Apheori (GM): Rhu is just staring at the sky in horrow.
 
Gravy, fortunately for him, isn't looking at that. Yay Gravy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Also Gravy doesn't find any vehicles that look like they'd work without hotwiring, though they do look functional.
I'm going to go look for a boat.
Greibel tries the door of the car thing
 
Apheori (GM): Door opens, and the roof retracts. It's a fairly nice convertible thing.
He trudges off to check out the far side of the park.
Greibel tries to start it
 
Ganelon: I'll head over and check this functioning vehicle out.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): It asks for a password.
(following)
Gan: d20
Hey, I remember boats.
Frezak (GM): Swordfish.
 
Greibel smacks the steering wheel/column/joystick/whatever in frustration
The Gravedigger finds some car-ship thingies docked at the edge. They look fairly intact, so he checks to see if any have keys in, and still seem intact after further prodding and examination.
Apheori (GM): It accepts the smack as the password.
 
Greibel: Nice!
GREIBEL
I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
 
Aziraphale looks at the sky. ''(rolled 5 reality)'' It seems to be glowing with that same eerie glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
 
As he watches, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye. It stares directly at Aziraphale. At, and possibly through.
 
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAGH.
 
Aziraphale averts his eyes.
 
Rhu stares at the sky in horror. ''(rolled 9 reality)''
 
Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before. ''(rolled 10 reality)'' Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
 
The Gravedigger just doesn't look. A few vehicles he examines do look functional, but they'd need hotwiring.
 
Greibel pokes a car and it doesn't turn to dust. ''(rolled 13 reality)'' It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat. He looks at it disappointedly, but accepts this positive turn of fate.
 
He tries the door. It opens, and the roof retracts - it's a fairly nice convertible. He gets in and tries to start it.
 
CAR
Please enter your password.
 
Greibel smacks the navigation controls in frustration.
 
CAR
Welcome, Driver 2.
 
GREIBEL
Nice! I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye.
(yelling back at the others)
I found a thing guys!
I found a thing guys!
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
Radek and the Gravedigger head over to check this out, and Aziraphale heads after too.
(
 
10
RADEK
)
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
=
 
10
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): I'll head over and look.
(scooting into the back)
Apheori (GM): Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before.
Radek, take the wheel.
Radek: Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
 
Apheori (GM): Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
Rhu finally recovers (slightly) and joins the others at the ship-car-thing as everyone piles in. Radek and the Gravedigger wind up in front, the rest in back with Greibel.
Greibel: d20
 
Rhu:
Then Greibel notices the sky. ''(rolled 5 reality)'' It's HORRIBLE.
rolling 1d20
 
(
GREIBEL
14
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY. THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN.
)
 
=
AZIRAPHALE
14
Yes, yes, take it easy now. Radek, does the ship work?
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20
RHU
(
(he shudders, not looking up, decidedly not looking up)
5
It's just staring.
)
 
=
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car ship.
5
 
Ganelon: Preferable to staring, certainly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu recovers and joins the others at the ship-car-thing.
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You notice the sky.
 
It's HORRIBLE.
Greibel shivers in terror.
Greibel: Radek take the wheel
 
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY
Radek tries the controlls, but they refuse to cooperate, on a seemingly laws of physics level. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN
 
Aziraphale: Yes, yes, take it easy now.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, does the ship work?
Does the radio work?
Rhu: It's just staring.
 
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car thing
Greibel calms down a bit as the sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat him and etc fades away. ''(rolled 18 reality)'' Just a bad trip, that's all. It still looks horrible, but he just doesn't look at it.
The Gravedigger: Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
 
Greibel shivers in terror
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Let's try it out.
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
 
Greibel:
Radek does. Nothing really changes, but then he just tries starting it like normal again. The Gravedigger pokes it too and after a few more tries it starts/
rolling 1d20
 
(
AZIRAPHALE
18
Just don't break it.
)
 
=
GREIBEL
18
Road trip, guys.
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
 
Ganelon: Do the controls work?
RADEK
rolling 1d20
Alright! Destination?
(
 
2
AZIRAPHALE
)
Wait wait. Does the radio work?
=
 
2
GREIBEL
Damn.
Tune in some jams!
Apheori (GM): The controls refuse to cooperate.
 
Aziraphale: Does the radio work?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat you and etc fades.
I meant like, for communication. Not music. Or does this ship not have that?
It still looks horrible, but you just don't look at it.
 
Greibel calms a bit
Radek flips through the channels. Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises, like a Geiger counter.
Greibel: Hey Radek, try hitting it!
 
Ganelon: Sure, I'll try hitting it.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): You hit it. Nothing really changes, but you wonder if maybe you just botched it at first?
Eee.
Ganelon: May I try again?
 
Apheori (GM): So Radek and Gravy are in the front, and everyone else is piled on the back, I suppose.
RADEK
And yeah, you can.
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting ''news''.
Do it.
 
Roll.
RHU
Ganelon:
The sky...
rolling 1d20
 
(
RADEK
5
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
)
 
=
RHU
5
It's watching.
Alas!
 
Poor Radek, I knew him well.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky. The sky opens its eye and stares at him. ''(rolled 3 reality)'' It seems it did not approve of Radek's rude gestures.  
Frezak (GM): can i lean over and poke the things?
 
Apheori (GM): You keep trying and it finally cooperates after a minute or two.
They fly the car-ship down toward the sea, headed for one of the nearby wrecks.
Frezak (GM): oh, good.
 
Apheori (GM): You can poke all the things if you want.
 
Frezak (GM): Nah, i'm good now.
EXT. Car; open ocean - weird-arse twilight
Aziraphale: Just don't break it
 
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
Radek drives the car-ship over the ocean while everyone else goes bonkers around him. The sky is watching. The wind is missing. Everything is slightly wrong.
Greibel: Road trip, guys
 
Radek: Alright! Destination?
At one point Greibel ''(rolled 4 reality)'' and Radek ''(rolled 3 reality)'' see another city in the distance, despite the maps saying it should just be ocean that way.
Apheori (GM): WHOO!
 
Go somewhere!
Radek takes a detour to fly toward the other city.
Aziraphale: wait wait
 
Frezak (GM): Check out one of the spaceship wrecks.
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador.
Aziraphale: does the radio work?
 
Ganelon: Don't worry guys, I might be an old person behind the wheel, but I'm at least reasonably sane and not on drugs!
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): Ideally the one that's not at the bottom of the sea.
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits.
THat you know of, Gan.
 
Rhu: No, you're just part robot.
RHU
Greibel: Tune in some jams!
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking... the ways are blind.
Ganelon: That I know of!
 
And sure, I'll mess with the radio.
GREIBEL
Not expecting much of a broadcast.
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles.
Just more madness.
 
Apheori (GM): The radio buzzes and picks up some automated transmissions.
A bit later Radek realises he's gone off course and readjusts without saying anything to the others.
Aziraphale: I meant like, for communication. Not music.
 
Or does this ship not have that?
Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking, trying to make sense of it. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' It is something huge and powerful, and very important.
Apheori (GM): Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises...
 
Aziraphale: eee.
Greibel, meanwhile, turns into a flock of pygmy moose in the back seat. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
Radek: Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting /news/.
 
Frezak (GM): LIke a giant bug monster or a Geiger counter?
Aziraphale hears voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage. ''(rolled 9 reality)''
Apheori (GM): The latter.
 
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Just. Great.
Wen: what's the range of this thing?
Apheori (GM): Should be able to cover the planet given time; the real issue seems to be speed since it's an open-top.
Ganelon: I think he meant the radio.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Who knows.
Ganelon: But hell if I know that answer.
Aziraphale: I meant the ship. But sure, the radio too.
Oh.
Apheori (GM): Unless any of you specialise in leisure boats.
Frezak (GM): So, wreck?
Rhu: The sky...
Ganelon: Can't say I do.
Aziraphale: Sure.
Ganelon: Wreck sounds good unless someone else has a suggestion.
Radek: Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
Rhu: It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky.
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Apheori (GM): The sky opens its eye and stares at you.
It seems it did not approve of your rude gestures.  
Ganelon: Good!
Apheori (GM): XD
Ganelon: Let's get a move on.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Okay, so you fly the boat down toward the sea.
Do you know which way the wreck was?
Frezak (GM): We can compare on maps.
I'm assuming we made SOME sort of notes about the places we intended to visit.
Ganelon: Well, I as a player do not. It's merely a destination to me.
Apheori (GM): Does your character? >.>
Frezak (GM): I was looking at it on a map a few hours ago.
Apheori (GM): Because if so I'm just inclined to say you go there, have you all roll sanity checks on the way, and move to the destination.
Great. You all go there.
Roll.
Ganelon: He was rather interested in the anomalous growth of power cells.
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Frezak (GM): 7
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Bear Soup Guy: Gonna be a bumpy ride...
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Rhu: Greibel and Radek see another city in the distance on the way.
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you see it.
Everyone else feels the sky staring at them.
Aziraphale: This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador
Rhu: Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking...
The ways are blind.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You wind up flying to the other city instead of the wreckage.
Greibel: Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles
Apheori (GM): Radek: You realise this before you actually get there, though.
Ganelon: OLD MAN AT THE WHEEEL
Could we still reach the wreckage in a reasonable amount of time?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
Ganelon: I'll turn that way, then.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Ganelon: Radek would not remark about this to the others.
Apheori (GM): Everyone roll d20 again.
Heh.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Apheori (GM): Huh.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Frezak (GM): 17
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now a herd of pygmy moose in the back seat.
Frezak (GM): Wow. What a surprise.
Apheori (GM): Azir is hearing voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Wen: Oh good, I thought the seat cushion was going to talk to me.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking.
 
So. Wreckage. It's a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating.
EXT. Car above ship wreckage - weird-arse twilight
There are large blobulous things growing off it.
 
If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they're hollow.
The wreckage is a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating. There are large blobulous things growing off it. If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they might be hollow.
Frezak (GM): Any way we can check that they're... volatile?
 
SHort of throwing crap at them?
Radek puts the car-ship in park hovering over the weckage, near the edge, positioned such that he can reach a relatively isolated blobulous thing. The Gravedigger has fallen asleep in the other seat, but the others watch.
Ganelon: Also, do we have a place to land?
 
Apheori (GM): The vehicle hovers, so you can park it wherever.
He examines it closely, using magic and stuff. ''(rolled 23 arcana)'' It seems to be alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. The things are growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy. While each blob seems to be a separate entity, they are all connected together. If he were to take one away, it would affect the others, though how is unclear.
Frezak: You could shoot them. Or someone could magic at them.
 
Gan: They look like the power cells, but now they're a lot bigger. And they've multiplied.
While he does this, the sky glares down, and blobulous things glow at everyone.
Ganelon: Find an isolated one first. If they explode, I want them.
 
Frezak (GM): And that is the last resort.
Aziraphale stares.
>.>
 
DO we have no other way?
RADEK
Can we NAture it?
Anyone have a knife?
Ganelon: I could attempt magic at them.
 
Frezak (GM): To see if it ressembles explosive plants or something?
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): There's one near the edge that's fairly alone.
I have a sword. That work?
You hover over it.
 
Ganelon: Let's go for magic first. You've said pretty much everything is magical of some sort before.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Right.
Well enough.
Do a magic!
 
Ganelon:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20+10
(starting to get out his sword)
(
Oh, I do have a knife.
13
 
)
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife instead.
+10
 
=
Rhu pets the flock of moose.
23
 
Apheori (GM): And what exactly were you doing?
Radek moves to cut off a sample, but then the blobulous things all start pulsating ''(rolled 5 reality)''. Instead, he steers the car-thing away, putting a hopefully safe distance between them.
Ganelon: Trying to see what's happened to them.
 
Apheori (GM): Right, but how, I mean. What kind of magic did you use?
RHU
TEEEELL ME ALL.
Weren't you going to get a sample?
Also the sky is still staring at you.
 
Ganelon: Well, I'm not attacking it.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): >.>
They started moving. These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Ganelon: I'll shoot the sky later.
 
I don't know what you mean by "kind of magic", though.
Greibel nuzzles everyone.
Apheori (GM): You discern that they are alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. They're growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy.
 
Ganelon: It's arcane magic with a structured and technical bias.
AZIRAPHALE
Is each glob a separate entity?
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see.
As in, could one be separated?
 
From... itself.
Aziraphale sulks.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be, though they're also connected. Even if you took one away, the others would still... be... well, you're not quite sure.
 
Everyone: Blobbulous things glow at you.
Rhu puts a pygmy moose on Azir's lap.
Ganelon: I'm thinking more like cutting a piece off of one.
 
Apheori (GM): These, I mean.
RADEK
You could try.
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
You don't know what would happen, or if it'd even notice.
 
Aziraphale stares
Radek gets out his gun.
Radek: Anyone have a knife?
 
Aziraphale: I have a sword
Aziraphale watches attentively.
that work?
 
Radek: Well enough.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You have knives.
 
Give him a knife.
Radek fires at the blob he'd approached before and misses. ''(rolled 12)'' They quit moving, so he reloads and tries again, but still misses. ''(rolled 12)''
Aziraphale: Oh, I do?
 
Apheori (GM): Yes.
RADEK
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife
Hmph.
Ganelon: Alright, let's bottle up some living power cell... flesh.
 
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
He tries one last time and finally hits the blobulous glowing mutated power cell. ''(rolled 17)'' It just sort of deflates and stops glowing.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
RADEK
(
I need to tune this thing.
5
 
)
The moose squeal with delight.
=
 
5
The other cells start getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the space around them. The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Frezak (GM): 7
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Flock of moose. Roll.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You're a happy flock of moose.
Greibel: :D
Apheori (GM): Rhu pets the flock of moose.
Radek: The entities start pulsating.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
Before or after I've cut into one?
Apheori (GM): You haven't cut yet.
You were about to, and then this happened.
Ganelon: Do these things still contain power?
Apheori (GM): Well, they're glowing.
So they probably contain at least some.
Ganelon: I don't know about future fuel cells, but all fuel is fundamentally a compressed power source.
Apheori (GM): They've been growing, though, so who knows what that means.
Ganelon: And I'd rather they not explode.
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Ganelon: So I'll steer us away.
Not too far that I can't observe.
Rhu: Weren't you going to get a sample?
Radek: They started moving.
These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Azir: You saw no moving.
Just so you know.
Greibel nuzzles everyone
Apheori (GM): Oh gods I love the swarms.
This is awesome.
Aziraphale: I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see
Aziraphale sulks
Rhu puts a moose on Azir's lap.
Radek: Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Ganelon: Rifle time.
Aziraphale watches attentively
Apheori (GM): Which do you want to shoot?
Ganelon: The one we were near.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm
Ganelon: Shall I roll it?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You roll too.
Ganelon: Hmph.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Radek: You missed.
On the plus side they quit moving.
Ganelon: Reload and try again.
[Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Wow, it couldn't even be lower?
Apheori (GM): It could if you try again.
Radek: Hmph.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
9
)
+3+5+0
=
17
Radek: I need to tune this thing.
Apheori (GM): You hit the glowing mutated power cell and it just sort of deflates.
Ganelon: Still glowing?
Greibel squeels with delight
Apheori (GM): Then the others are getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the air around.
Frezak (GM): Bags of magic.
Apheori (GM): The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
Radek: Interesting reaction.
 
Apheori (GM): The the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place.
RADEK
An emptiness that is pulling your vehicle toward it as well.
Interesting reaction.
Ganelon: WELP NO TIME FOR SCIENCE
 
RUNNING TIME NOW
Then the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place. An emptiness that is pulling the car-ship toward it as well.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
 
Ganelon:
Radek turns the car-ship around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises at first, but once it starts moving the pull becomes insignificant by comparison and the get clear of the anomaly. Radek stops once they seem to be clear.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Rhu, meanwhile, starts screaming. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
8
 
)
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak. It doesn't help.
=
 
8
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel:
Fah.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Agitated pygmy moose run around next to them. And over.
10
 
)
The Gravedigger finally wakes up and hits Rhu with a shovel. ''(rolled 16 to bop)'' This successfully knocks him out, and he quits screaming as a result.
=
 
10
AZIRAPHALE
Aziraphale:
Is that wise?
rolling 1d20
 
(
12
)
=
12
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: BRB DISHES
Frezak (GM): 5
Apheori (GM): Okay, lessee...
Frezak (GM): Gravy is snoozing.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Radek turns the thing around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises, but you're far enough away that the pull isn't significant once you're actually moving.
But Rhu starts screaming.
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak
Apheori (GM): It doesn't help.
Aziraphale: Fah.
Frezak (GM): I AM THE PIONEER OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL REMEDY TECHNIQUE.
HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL.
Ganelon: The haunted look of Azi's token is becoming a lot more relatable each day.
Frezak (GM): yeah, he's a real downer;
Apheori (GM): Azi was here for days. Now you all are feeling it too!
Frezak (GM): i'm not.
Gravy's napping.
Apheori (GM): The screaming didn't wake him?
Frezak (GM): He's thouroughly bored by the whole affair now.
Ganelon: Well, I'm feeling pretty awesome with this metallic skin-coating, really.
Frezak (GM): Ah.
Well now he's probably grumpy at being woken up.
Not perturbed other than by the volume.
Apheori (GM): You stop away from the pull of the... hole that opened up. Rhu is still screaming.
Frezak (GM): Can I lean over and knock him out for a bit?
Apheori (GM): Certainly.
But don't kill him.
Frezak (GM): Just a bop on the head with a shovel.
Apheori (GM): Roll a shovel bopping.
Aziraphale: Is this wise?
Frezak (GM): Roll to bop:
rolling 1D20+6
(
10
)
+6
=
16
Just a light tap.
Bear Soup Guy: BOP ROLL
Also back and caught up
Apheori (GM): You successfully knock him out.
Greibel: Roll a d20.
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
Apheori (GM): The screaming has stopped, at least.
 
Bear Soup Guy:
The moose turn back into a Greibel with a pop.
rolling 1d20
 
(
GREIBEL
9
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess. It sure was fun being moose though.
)
 
=
He finally notices the others: Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
9
 
Apheori (GM): You are now a rather agitated flock of pygmy moose. Probably something to do with the screaming.
And the ship they went to investigate is just gone. Apparently it turned into a horrible hole in space.
But you are aware enough that you could stop being moose if you want to.
 
Greibel runs around a bit
GREIBEL
Greibel: Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH.
It sure was fun being moose though
 
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH
RADEK
Radek: I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
 
Frezak (GM): Can we eaxamine the ship at all?
He directs the car-ship towards the city his mad self had been so intent on visiting before.
Apheori (GM): The one you're in?
 
Frezak (GM): No, the other one.
On the way, Greibel ''(rolled 6 reality)'' and Aziraphale ''(rolled 8 reality)'' become entirely convinced the other is insane. And trying to kill them.
Ganelon: It's gone.
 
Apheori (GM): The one that turned into a horrible hole in space?
Greibel panics and shuffles over to the Gravedigger and tries to wake him up again.
Frezak (GM): Oh, right.
 
>.>
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, I have no idea.
WHAT?
What to do.
 
Ganelon: I'll head towards that city my mad self was so intent on visiting before.
Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
Apheori (GM): Right.
 
Everyone roll a d20.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon:
Oh, come ON.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword. It doesn't help.
19
 
)
RADEK
=
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
19
 
Greibel:
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1d20
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
(
 
6
GREIBEL
)
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
=
 
6
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): 13
You're all insane. Now shut up.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
GREIBEL
(
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS.
8
 
)
Rhu is still screaming. Aziraphale hits him again.
=
 
8
Rhu finally runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead. Then he starts screaming again.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Azir: You each become entirely convinced the other is insane.
 
Wen: well, I'd be right.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): And trying to kill you.
Quiet back there! Or I'll turn this ship around! And put you in holes!
Yes.
 
Wen: Oh crap.
Rhu stops screaming.
Greibel: O_O
 
Frezak (GM) groans.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel shuffles over to Frezak and tries to wake him up faster
Thank you.
Greibel: err, to the gravedigger
 
The Gravedigger: WHAT?
The Gravedigger tries to resume his nap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
 
The Gravedigger: Oh, come ON.
Greibel continues dancing around behind Gravy for protection from Aziraphale.
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword
 
Radek: Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: Do you just ignore this and go to the city?
EXT. Partially invisible city - weird-arse twilight
Aziraphale: Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
 
Greibel: Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
Radek docks the car-shit next to something invisible, though to him and Greibel it looks very much like just another Sarathi city. This one is smaller than the first one they came to, and seems to have suffered considerably more damage.
Apheori (GM): Because you're almost there.
 
The Gravedigger: You're all insane.
Radek steps out like the grump he is. To the others it looks like he is standing on nothing.
Now shut up.
 
Greibel: Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS
Rhu is still utterly panicked and doesn't even notice.
Apheori (GM): Rhu is still screaming.
 
Aziraphale hits again
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Rhu runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead.
Oh, come ON. More of this? Anyone have paint?
Bear Soup Guy: Also I should probably leave soon
 
Apheori (GM): Bah.
Aziraphale ''(rolled 12 reality)'' and Greibel ''(rolled 5 reality)'' finally realise they're actually not trying to kill each other and resume sanity. Or their versions of sanity. Which in Greibel's case doesn't mean much.
Bear Soup Guy: Well y'know, maybe
 
Like if we're gonna play a lot longer I can just stay
Greibel gets distracted by a cloud.
Ganelon: I wouldn't mind. I do have other things that I'd like to do.
 
Bear Soup Guy: But if we'll be finished soon or other people need to do stuff or something then I should probably go to the store
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Writing things.
Wheeeeee.
Bear Soup Guy: mmm
 
Wen: I think all of our in-game characters are feeling pretty miserable >.>
Aziraphale looks at Greibel and suddenly gets an urge to hug him.
Apheori (GM): I wonder if it's too late for me to go to the store too.
 
Heh.
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: even Greibel
So Radek, did you just go out for a quick smoke in mid air?
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
 
Apheori (GM): So you want to leave them like this?
RADEK
Ganelon: Well, he's being beat on by a sword.
No, I'm standing on solid ground. And I don't smoke.
Apheori (GM): Preserved in their misery?
 
Ganelon: Like pickles?
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): I don't see it improving.
You should start, man. It's awesome.
Wen: I'm fine with either that, or up to the next save point, so to speak.
 
Frezak (GM): And Gravy is more bored than miserable.
RADEK
Wen: well Azir can start saying crazy things to entertain him I guess. Maybe even lend him the free phone sex radio.
Undoubtedly.
He's pretty much half insane by this point, even without the previous roll.
 
Ganelon: Pfft. As if the radio talks sweet to anyone but you.
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): he's tired of all this silly madness.
What solid ground?
Wen: Blame the RNG!
 
Frezak (GM): You start to go somewhere, half the party goes mad, wait for them to recover, start moving, wait again, get where you were going, learn nothing, go back.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rinse and repeat.
I don't see any ground.
Maybe he could become a farmer.
 
Wen: Raise chickens.
AZIRAPHALE
Bear Soup Guy: Farmers do need good hole-digging skills
I mean, this is quite impressive and all. Or is this one of the perception issues again?
Ganelon: Well, probability dictates that when Apheori makes all of us perform dozens of sanity rolls every day, RNG will make something crazy occur.
 
Frezak (GM): Yeah, at least something he can DO.
Aziraphale grumbles.
Ganelon: The odds of us getting lucky enough to avoid that are simply too low to ever reasonably occur.
 
Or unlucky.
GREIBEL
Bear Soup Guy: Pah! Odds are for scientists!
Pala-dude, perception is just the gateway to the soul, man.
Apheori (GM): Well, let's get you all down on the city, at least.
 
Ganelon: I mean, depends on your perspective regarding sanity.
Rhu sort of comes to his senses ''(rolled 10 reality)'', sees Radek standing on nothing, and realises he's probably lost it.
Frezak (GM): I know that the expedition hasn't been exactly fruitful so far.
 
Except for Greibel when he fell from a tree.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Wen: hee.
Maybe we can find fancy glasses.
Frezak (GM): That was sort of fruit-like behavior.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Fruits grow from trees
The Gravedigger pokes the 'ground' with a shovel. His second-best shovel, just in case. It clinks on stone.
Frezak (GM): Strange Fruit.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Trees take patience to grow
AZIRAPHALE
Frezak (GM): Stoner fruit.
Augh damn it.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Okay well, I'm going to shower and go to the store then I guess
Aziraphale gingerly steps outside the vehicle. He winds up standing on nothing, and resolutely looks straight ahead.
Ganelon: Alright.
 
Conditions will surely improve eventually!
The Gravedigger leaps out onto the nothing. Carefully. There is a loud crack as he lands.
Bear Soup Guy: Good game guys! Are we doing next Monday then?
 
Apheori (GM): They will.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: I could do Monday.
That wasn't me.
Wen: I probably won't be too busy until the end of next week-ish (first week of school). After that I don't know.
 
Frezak (GM): I don't have anything planned.
RADEK
Wen: it'll have to start a bit later though
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.
since iirc I have class between 11something and 12something.
 
or you could just start and I could just tag along and start playing when I'm around.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
I don't want your consciousness. It's sad and grumpy.
Bye for now then
 
Wen: bye.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): So an hour later?
Hmph. Yours isn't exactly a prize worth fighting for either.
Ganelon: I'll be around at the same time as always.
 
Wen: I might be 5-10 minutes late, but that should work.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): This is usually the sort of time I'm looking at stopping.
It's beyond price.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Wen: it's pretty long even if you take away an hour >.<
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): And we have to wait a month for Ellemerr?
This isn't sustainable. Even if we were standing on solid ground, we can't do anything when we can't see what's really around us.
Bah.
 
Frezak (GM): We: Sunday my game spend 12 hours at a fair.
GREIBEL
Wen: Apheori: I _would_ appreciate it if we spent less time going insane and trying to become sane again >.<
You know what I do when I want to see what's really around me?
o_O
 
Apheori (GM): Wen: It gets worse before it gets better. But you're basically at the bottom now.
AZIRAPHALE
Congratulations!
No. And I don't really want to know.
Wen: heh.
 
Well, on that cheerful note, adios. :P
Aziraphale grumbles some more.
Ganelon: It was the best fair.
 
Action, drama, suspense, failed attempts at romance... we had it all.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Alchoholism.
Your loss, dude.
Ganelon: A lot of that, yes.
 
Frezak (GM): Fortunes.
Greibel smokes some drugs.
TONS OF PLOT.
 
More plot than you know.
The sky is watching like a wretched abyss.
Apheori (GM): You people and your plots.
 
Frezak (GM): Maybe.
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): brb bathroom.
Wen: So far we've mostly had going to places, becoming insane, not finding very much, and then going back to where we came from.
 
Minus some sanity.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SKY IN THE BATHROOM. IT'S WATCHING YOU THERE TOO.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, Azi told us about the science experiment.
 
And.
The (invisible) ground creaks underfoot.
That's about it, i think.
 
We are shit investigators.
Radek does some magic to try to stabilise things. ''(rolled 26 arcana)'' A couple of buildings fall down, though none particularly closeby.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, well, if you all would stop AVOIDING the damn continuation thingies...
 
Wen: You could like, push us towards them >_>
Everything shimmers. And rumbles. This much everyone can see and hear.
Apheori (GM): There is a very important something that's supposed to happen and you keep... avoiding them.
 
Wen: Instead of letting us make the bad decisions that stagnate the plot.
Aziraphale goes back in the car-ship and starts to tend to Rhu's mostly shovel-inflicted injuries, but gets distracted by the rubbling rumbles. He tries to see what did it, but just winds up hearing a horrible high-pitched whine ''(rolled 4 perception (natural 1))''.
Apheori (GM): Like you're almost there and then you're like, no, nevermind.
 
Frezak (GM): THEN MAKE THINGS UP.
Aziraphale winces.
Apheori (GM): But you're the players! You make decisions!
 
Wen: You control Rhu! Rhu could know what's going on.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): And I AM making things up!
RAdek? Can you do something so we can see what's going on? Because it sounds like holes.
Ghuh.
 
Ganelon: I don't really know that I'm missing important stuff.
RADEK
Wen: Guarav is almost certainly better at this thing than I am. >_>
I'm trying.
Frezak (GM): I let my party cause a willage to be burt to the ground just to get them to advance.
 
Apheori (GM): You know what?
AZIRAPHALE
Fine.
Does anyone else hear that noise?
FINE.
 
Frezak (GM): What?
RHU
Apheori (GM): You'll see.
Yes, we all hear the rumbling.
Wen: >.>
 
I think we should be worried.
The rumbling and creaking is becoming more insistent, building up in intensity. Meanwhile the sky is a massive hole and wants to eat everyone.
Apheori (GM) goes back to choking on her tea.
 
Frezak (GM): I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO MY JOB
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: I mean, I get that the lava lamp thing is important. But... there's no obvious way to interact with it.
There's this... high pitched noise. Real unpleasant. Looks like reality is mucking about.
Frezak (GM): The finding things out bit, not the digging holes bit.
 
Wen: I look at the sky and I see an eye staring at me.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): We could fly into the sky >.>
This reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Oh wait, no, it was a movie. Never mind.
Apheori (GM): Stop fighting the madness. Embrace it.
 
Become one with it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or something.
I think I'm gonna get back in the car now.
Okay, fine, I admit it. I enjoy watching you all lose your minds.
 
Frezak (GM): I'm being as mad as my character warants.
He does so.
If you're telling ME I'm not mad enough, WELL.
 
Apheori (GM): I was kidding.
AZIRAPHALE
Wen: I'm not very good at being mad. I think I designed my character to be pretty much in line with my own personality. >.<
Ye-ah. Might be a good idea.
Apheori (GM): Your character has done excellently.
 
Wen: I should have probably made it more caricatured.
Greibel senses a squirrel he can't see. ''(rolled 5 reality)''
It could maybe, I dunno, hook up with a wall.
 
maybe that'll lead to things
Buildings are collapsing.
Wen grins
 
Ganelon: Whoa now.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): *shifty eyes*
Hmmmm.
Ganelon: Do you have a plug?
 
Frezak (GM): The wall will.
The place is rumbling and cracking.
Once he gets it in.
 
Wen: I have more than a plug. I have a 65W power brick.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM): Woah woah woah.
Guys, let's get back in the ship.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
 
Ganelon: I could intimidate more obstacles if you like.
Radek does.
Apheori (GM): The obstacles love you.
 
Frezak (GM): Or lust.
Aziraphale reenters the car-ship as well.
Wen: Apheori: it might be a good idea to remind me about this thing on Sunday, if you can remember. >.>
 
Apheori (GM): Okay.
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it. >.>
Wen: Thanks.
 
Apheori (GM): If I remember.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Words no one has ever said before qithout smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
Wen: Yes.
 
Or you could play 2PCs >_>
The sky seems... lower. The shimmering is also much more intense.
Apheori (GM): Ghuh.
 
Wen: I'll try to remember, but I'm not too good at remembering stuff a week away.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Neither am I.
I miss my tree, man.
Wen: I'm off to get dinner. Laters.
 
</pre>
RADEK
So if you don't want to land on the clearly visible city, which is now admittedly collapsing, by the way, where are we headed?
 
AZIRAPHALE
Let's check out the sky?
 
Almost as if in answer to the question, reality collapses in on itself, and everything goes knurd.
 
GREIBEL
Woah. I haven't seen knurd in ages.
 
This is the last thing they hear before everyone passes out.
</screenplay>
 
{{holes nav
|previous=Holes/Session 2
|next=Holes/Session 4
}}

Latest revision as of 03:15, 1 March 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 3 (raw log) (Overview)
EXT. Sarathi parking lot - night
The Gravedigger is digging a hole in a potted tree, which first involves digging up said tree, then carefully piling the swarm of undead chickens into the hole.
Radek is drawing circles on the ground as part of a ritual to fix Aziraphale's sword; Aziraphale is watching him, but also just very happy to be outside.
Greibel is a moose. Rhu is just sort of standing around, but then starts staring at something in abject horror. (rolled 9 reality)
Greibel stops being a moose with a loud pop and wanders over to watch Radek do shiny circle stuff as well.
There is a loud messy-sounding WHOMP from the other end of the lot.
AZIRAPHALE
(startled)
What was that noise?
Greibel looks toward the WHOMP and shrugs.
Gravy finishes burying the chickens and packs the earth really tight around them before turning and squinting in the direction the sound came from.
GREIBEL
It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP.
AZIRAPHALE
What kind of WHOMP?
The Gravedigger charges toward the WHOMP.
Aziraphale walks cautiously after him.
They get to the area and it appears that the sound was something very large and squishy going splat on the pavement. Random globs and hunks and bits of bone are scattered around the mess.
GREIBEL
Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Many globs.
But. If there's something I've learnt, it's that there are always new globs.
GREIBEL
What a nice thought.
The Gravedigger looks at the globs for a moment to try to identify them. (rolled 28 perception (natural 20))
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That used to be a small dragon. There's also...
The Gravedigger rummages through the globs and pulls out something metal.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THIS.
The Gravedigger holds up a half-digested light fixture.
AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, that's odd. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?
AZIRAPHALE
I've never seen them, certainly.
GREIBEL
Does it shine groovy colors?
The dragon globs and splatter starts to glow.
The Gravedigger drops the light fixture and scoots back toward Radek.
GREIBEL
This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DO dragons normally glow?
Aziraphale mutters something.
RADEK
Dragons?
Aziraphale is really muttering now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dead glowy dragon here.
Aziraphale mutters some more.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?
GREIBEL
I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary.
AZIRAPHALE
(still mumbling)
Something something Alesvrie something.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
STOP MUMBLING.
Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably.
The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.
AZIRAPHALE
(finally looking up)
I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!
AZIRAPHALE
This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What. Were you mucking about with SCIENCE? Gaaaaah. RADEEEEEK!
RADEK
Don't you even start.
AZIRAPHALE
Not me. My employer was.
RADEK
What was the experiment?
GREIBEL
Lava lamps, I bet.
AZIRAPHALE
Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.
RADEK
I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.
Greibel notices the sky. (rolled 8 reality) It looks horribly wrong. Like a lava lamp. A hungry lava lamp.
GREIBEL
Woooah. Guys, look at the sky! That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!
The others look up. To them, the sky seems to be the wrong colour, perhaps as though the light is going the wrong direction. And there are cracks. Nothing about it resembles a hungry lava lamp, however. (rolled 17 (Gravy), 17 (Radek), and 14 (Azir) reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well that's queer.
GREIBEL
I quite agree, Horseman.
RHU
It's glowing. Mutating.
AZIRAPHALE
So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea... what's next?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead chickens? No, wait, we did that.
RHU
More?
AZIRAPHALE
I sincerely hope not.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Big piles of money?
AZIRAPHALE
That'd be nice.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sandwiches?
AZIRAPHALE
A ship that works would be nicer. I just want to get the hell out of this place now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eventually there won't be any bad things.
AZIRAPHALE
Bad things never run out. It's the way of things.
Aziraphale mutters darkly.
GREIBEL
Nonsense. After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel, there will be no bad things.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.
RHU
There is a pile of money over here, actually.
Rhu points to a pile of money on the ground behind one of the broken ship-cars.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What? Money?
The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.
Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously and pokes it with his borrowed spade.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Careful with that. It's an antique.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can I have my sword back?
RADEK
(handing over the sword)
Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.
AZIRAPHALE
Mucha gracias. Does anyone object if I keep the money? As in, keep it with me.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm here to bury things.
Greibel shrugs too.
GREIBEL
I'm here to... why am I here anyway?
Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.
AZIRAPHALE
Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now.
He hands it back to the Gravedigger.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're welcome.
Aziraphale tries to gather up the money and discovers that it's too much to conveniently carry.
AZIRAPHALE
Okay, what about we split it? Eggs in more than one basket and all that.
GREIBEL
Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs.
RADEK
Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's split it anyway.
Aziraphale divides it into rough fifths and they all scoop up their shares, paying more attention to the dead splattered dragon than to the money.
The dragon is still glowing. Like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.
Greibel examines the dragon. (rolled 31 nature (natural 20))
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): SUPER NATURE.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU.
Greibel sees the universe glowing in the dragon. It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered, the form of a dreloth pulled apart and inverted.
GREIBEL
It was definitely a pet Dreloth!
RADEK
Why is it glowing?
Greibel takes out a wooden pipe.
GREIBEL
I'm going to find out!
AZIRAPHALE
Um, are we sure this is a good idea?
Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it.
RHU
I'm pretty sure it isn't.
RADEK
That hasn't stopped him before.
GREIBEL
I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH.
RHU
(in amazement)
This is probably why we brought him.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Smoking expertise? I thought we were just the only people that would come here.
RADEK
(shouting)
Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?
GREIBEL
It seems volatily delicious!
The Gravedigger edges away from Greibel in case he explodes. Or melts. Or glows. Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.
GREIBEL
Mmmm. Well, it doesn't seem dangerous.
RADEK
Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.
Radek approaches and attempts to dig around the splattered dragon corpse. The Gravedigger offers him his second-best shovel, and Radek gathers up some alchemical ingredients (120g worth).
Greibel stands nearby looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling.
Rhu notices the light fixture lying on the ground and pockets it.
The Gravedigger pokes one of the busted ships/cars for glowy cells. It falls to pieces like it just sort of disintegrated, leaving behind a pile of spaceship dust.
AZIRAPHALE
Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?
The Gravedigger goes to poke some more ships.
AZIRAPHALE
Wait! Was the concreteness an illusion?
The Gravedigger commences poking. A couple of the other poked ships also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the rest seem quite solid. Quite a few of them have holes through them, some punched, others neatly sliced.
There is also a much larger hole in the ground where, presumably, an entire ship used to be.
GREIBEL
Nice poking, Horseman!
AZIRAPHALE
I suggest we search one of the bigger ships and see what we can find.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TIME! Some of these have been aged. I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.
RADEK
You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That would be great. I'd have more years left to dig holes.
RADEK
Not for the rest of us.
Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience. He was likely the king of the sandbox.
AZIRAPHALE
Let's look at the open topped ones first.
They do this and find a spaceboat that's entirely full of peas. There also appear to be some bones in it.
RADEK
(peering inside)
...I used to love peas.
The Gravedigger rises to the task and digs through the peas, unearthing (or perhaps unpeaing) enough bones to form several giant chickens, as well as a large fireball gun and a bucket of purple paint at the bottom of the boat.
GREIBEL
Mercenary artists!
The Gravedigger hands the gun over to Radek. Radek scraps some peas off the display and finds it to be about half-charged.
RADEK
I remember these things. One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.
AZIRAPHALE
How many deaths before it was pulled? ...it was pulled, yes?
RHU
Nope.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dibs.
AZIRAPHALE
...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.
Greibel scoffs at the gun.
RADEK
Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!
Frezak (Gravy): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.
Apheori (GM): Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.
Frezak (Gravy): THE SQUASH.
RADEK
Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore. It's half full.
AZIRAPHALE
Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?
RADEK
Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.
AZIRAPHALE
Damn.
Radek instead sits down to try reading some of the video logs they pulled.
The Gravedigger goes back to poking random things to see what turns to dust. One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust. He runs around in a circle, causing the dust to trail behind him like a cloak. He sneezes.
Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust. Then he turns and sees the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them. They appear to have sprouted fangs. (rolled 11 reality)
GREIBEL
AH FANGED PEAS.
Aziraphale eyes Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
Are you okay?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, be quiet Greibel. I'M THE KING OF DUST.
GREIBEL
OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE.
The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.
GREIBEL
Actually sometimes that would be quite okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DUSSSSST.
GREIBEL
I guess it's not so bad until they attack.
The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.
Maanwhile Radek goes through the footage from the security center. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.
RADEK
I don't have a cure for that.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS.
Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth.
RADEK
There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.
The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
Anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?
The Gravedigger puts Greibel down and comes over to see what Radek is doing.
Greibel wipes the dust off himself.
Radek toggles the timestamps - they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well). Plants and other decor also seems to change between jumps.
AZIRAPHALE
So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time. Odd.
RADEK
No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.
GREIBEL
Stair fish...
Greibel nods in agreement.
AZIRAPHALE
Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back.
RADEK
Certainly.
The recent stuff reveals far stranger as he switches between the cameras. Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Aziraphale staring down a floating fish in abject horror.
The Gravedigger goes to look around for another bit of clear dirt.
AZIRAPHALE
Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.
Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red. Everything is blue. Everything is black. More empty rooms. That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.
GREIBEL
Hey, I saw her!
More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static. For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.
RADEK
I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but... Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Find a communications tower? Power it up, ping a sattelite?
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?
The control core cameras reveal fairly normal activity (though there are jumps here, too) up until it had no activity. Then there is just nothing.
A large fish taking up most of the space.
Nothing.
A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.
Nothing.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... That's odd. Is the footage of us accurate?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I better not have a beetle on my back.
Radek searches some more and finds a segment with them in it. They see the door dent, Aziraphale's sword poke in and get bent out of shape, and then he and Gravy entering the room. None of the others come in. Then they leave almost immediately, looking a bit startled at somthing.
RADEK
Well, that can't be right...
AZIRAPHALE
No, it can't.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS. MAYBE.
GREIBEL
What if you're the ghost?
The footage changes to become very, very confusing, but keeps going. Nobody's quite sure what they're watching after that, but it's still the room, shifted a bit blue. Which is weird, because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.
AZIRAPHALE
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts. Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes? Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment was related to what happened...
RADEK
I know that they're best left not tampered with.
GREIBEL
Oh man, this sounds groovy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You said they were bringing things here from another dimension. The thing is just working backwards. Taking things from here to there. WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!
RHU
You've never been to a zoo?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
No?
RHU
I am so sorry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
They don't let you dig holes in zoos.
RHU
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Mucking about with science.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm not sure. I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.
Greibel suddenly develops an intense interest in paint. (rolled 8 reality)
GREIBEL
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's still in the ship.
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing appeared at the time.
RHU
Did the shielding fail? That's what shielding is for, right?
AZIRAPHALE
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside. And then when we went outside everyone was just gone. So the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside. He mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions, and that if it happened it would have destabilized outside of the range, or something.
Greibel goes to the spaceboat with the fanged peas and the paint can.
The Gravedigger follows Greibel.
GREIBEL
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?
Greibel grabs the can of paint and starts hugging it like it's his favourite ever. (rolled 4 reality)
GREIBEL
I LOVE THIS PAINT. I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!
The Gravedigger looks dubiously down at him.
Greibel takes some paint out and splashes it around a bit.
The Gravedigger wanders off to loot some more ship-cars. He finds some random stuff - keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.
He puts the cloak around his neck like a poncho. It makes him feel kind of fuzzy.
RADEK
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments. And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area. Much less... this wrong.
RHU
Maybe the shielding exploded. Maybe...
(he notices Greibel)
What... is he doing?
Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Being a stoner.
RADEK
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.
Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself. Then he realises he can't actually see or breathe with this on, which is kind of a problem, and pulls it off. (rolled 17 reality) He's a bit confused as to why he even did that in the first place, but only a little bit.
GREIBEL
(to Gravy)
Heeeey, nice cape, man. Real Vincent Price.
Aziraphale suddenly sees tentacles everywhere. (rolled 1 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAAGH. TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
GREIBEL
Whoa, WHERE? Tentacles are AWESOME.
AZIRAPHALE
EVERYWHERE.
The Gravedigger plods over and puts the shiny cloak over Aziraphale's head.
AZIRAPHALE
Mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Shhhhhh. They're gone.
Greibel pats Aziraphale reassuringly on what is probably his shoulder.
GREIBEL
Don't worry bro, just ride it out.
Aziraphale calms down a bit, realising the tentacles aren't actually harming anything even if they are real. He stops struggling.
The Gravedigger pulls off the cloak. Now Aziraphale still sees the tentacles, but realises they're not actually there. (rolled 20 reality) Greibel seems to be their king.
Then he shakes his head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's like dealing with children. So, where do we go now? The old lab or try to send a report back?
AZIRAPHALE
I don't want to go back to that building.
Radek is still going through the footage. He finds some logs of the invisible shop that was there but wasn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.
It's full of fallen leaves.
Ganelon (Radek): Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision." My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.
Frezak (Gravy): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.
Radek seems to be about done at this point and gets up.
AZIRAPHALE
Let's go to the comm tower.
Greibel stares absently up at the lava lamp sky. It looks totally awesome.
Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking, but just sees cracks. They're still there. The light is still wrong. It makes him feel kind of ill.
He stops looking and shrugs.


EXT. STAIRS LEADING UP TO COMM TOWER - weird-arse twilight
The sky may or may not seem to be lightening. It's hard to say.
In the meantime, the party comes to the building in question. There are stairs leading up to the entrance, but there is unfortunately also a large chunk of twisted metal across the base, forming a wall blocking the way.
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, would the toy gun be able to blast through that? Well, let's examine it first, I think.
GREIBEL
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it.
Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly.
GREIBEL
The universe is changing...
Rhu walks through wall like it's not even there.
RHU
Yep.
RADEK
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.
The Gravedigger tries to walk through as well, but carefully. He finds it solid.
AZIRAPHALE
let's all try?
They do. Greibel makes it through. (rolled 9 reality) The others do not.
GREIBEL
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?
RADEK
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.
The Gravedigger tries to muscle the block of metal aside, but it's too huge to budge by conventional means. (rolled 19 reality)
Aziraphale tries to talk to it. (rolled 2 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass? ...I have candy!
GREIBEL
That's the spirit, holy brother.
BLOCK OF METAL
Hey, sexy. What kind of candy?
None of the others can hear it, just Aziraphale and possibly Greibel.
AZIRAPHALE
King-sized Snickers.
BLOCK OF METAL
Oooo, you are a babe.
AZIRAPHALE
You can have it if you let us pass!
BLOCK OF METAL
Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.
AZIRAPHALE
This isn't the first wall that talked to me. I reckon we might as well give this a try.
Frezak (Gravy): NO. I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL. I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.
Wen (Aziraphale): Aw.
The Gravedigger picks up Radek and puts him down a bit further away from the block of metal.
Aziraphale walks into the wall chunk thing. As he passes through, it makes strange squelching noises. He feels rather dirty when he comes out the other side, and down a candybar.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Move aside, crazy people! IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's get out of the way.
Rhu goes to try the door the wall was blocking.
The folks on the other side move up the stairs, away from the block of metal.
The Gravedigger levels the gun at the block of meta and shoots a fireball, only to have it go right through and explode on the stairs on the other side, below Greibel and Rhu. (rolled 2 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SORRY.
GREIBEL
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous.
The block of metal starts sobbing quietly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH? DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE. JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.
GREIBEL
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And I'm the crazy one for pouring paint on my head?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Azi talked to it. You didn't call HIM crazy!
GREIBEL
Well Aziraphale is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Talk to them, apparently.
GREIBEL
Apparently.
AZIRAPHALE
HEY! I don't normally talk to walls.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So you SAY.
GREIBEL
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall.
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.
RADEK
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want to try, Radek? I'll let you have a turn.
He passes the gun to Radek.
RADEK
Very well.
Radek shoots the wall, and the fireball goes right through again. (rolled 4 reality) He hands the weapon back to the Gravedigger.
Aziraphale hears the wall chunk screaming, and shudders slightly.
GREIBEL
(to Aziraphale)
It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.
Aziraphale relaxes slightly.
The Gravedigger finally just stows his shield and climbs over the thing, leaving Radek behind. (rolled 18 athletics)
Radek then approaches the wall. (rolled 7 reality) The wall chunk sits there.
RADEK
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
The wall chunk continues to sit there.
RADEK
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle. (rolled 11 reality)
From the other side:
RHU
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
GREIBEL
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
The wall starts trembling in fear. Everyone sees it.
RADEK
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
The wall is still trembling.
To Aziraphale, it sounds as though the wall is apologising.
Radek pokes it again. (rolled 9 reality) The poke goes through.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have rope!
Radek attempts to pass through the wall. (rolled 20 reality) He walks into the wall. It resists, but he is sick and tired of this and manages to pass through anyway. When he comes out the other side, however, he's covered in a strange metallic film.
RADEK
Fascinating.
GREIBEL
Groovy.
Radek realises he can't breathe. Then he realises it doesn't seem to matter. He feels fine. He feels better than he has in quite awhile, in fact.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So are you a robot now?
GREIBEL
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard.
RADEK
I haven't the faintest idea.
RHU
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
RADEK
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
RHU
(pointing back)
The door won't open.
Now that everyone's over, they give it a proper look. It's a glass slidey door with an electric lock.
Radek starts getting out his electronic tinkering tools.
GREIBEL
Or we could break the glass...
Greibel taps the glass with his staff.
Rhu hits it with his maul. It cracks.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man.
RADEK
Gladly.
Radek slams the glass surface with all the force of a single emaciated old man. It partly melts and partly shatters. Some bits stick to him and dissolve into the strange metallic film.
Ganelon (Radek): He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Radek climbs through.
GREIBEL
Wicked.
Greibel and the others follow.


INT. HALLWAY - weird-arse twilight
It's not terribly interesting. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
GREIBEL
Hey, what day is it?
Greibel rubs his stomach absently. It's not even clearly day. The sun disappeared at some point, but the stars never came out and now the sky has just been glowing weirdly with cracks.
GREIBEL
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
RADEK
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to. Well, you can. I'll do without.
The Gravedigger heads for the stairs, and the others follow.


INT. STAIRWELL
It's stairs.
Gravy (rolled 18 reality) and Rhu (rolled 4 (reality) hear strange noises and what might be voices.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I hear noises.
RHU
Voices?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
RADEK
I don't.
RHU
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome. Let's keep going.
AZIRAPHALE
I hear nothing.
GREIBEL
I always hear things. But no more than usual.
They climb the stairs. A lot. Aziraphale and Rhu flag a little bit behind because it's pretty exhausting. Along the way, absolutely nothing weird happens.
For whatever reason, Radek keeps up just fine.
Aziraphale has a horrible thought and hurriedly catches up.
Rhu gets left a bit behind and then collapses. (rolled 4 reality)
AZIRAPHALE)
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well? Pick him up!
Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off. (rolled 1 reality)
GREIBEL
Oik!
AZIRAPHALE
I think we'd better take a rest. Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door. There is something very important on the other side that he simply must get to.
Gravy grabs the swarm of bats. (rolled 22 against swarm reflex)
He drags the swarm of bats up the stairs, and they struggle mightily as they are pulled away from the door.
AZIRAPHALE
(now dragging Rhu)
Can we get him to turn back?
Maybe we should check out that door?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(not stopping)
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful. Always pointing out useful things.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, why else did you bring him?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not my choice.
Greibel flaps around.
Finally the party reaches the floor they were after.


INT. CORRIDOR etc
Everyone spills out. Aziraphale drops Rhu, and Greibel finally calms down and forgets what made him so agitated (rolled 13 reality).
Greibel stops being bats and Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Rhu gets up.
RHU
This feels like a dead end.
Aziraphale follows the blood. He notices footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with the draggee. They appear to be hooflike.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Aziraphale follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut. He cautiously attempts to turn the handle, and the door comes open at a touch, not even latched.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors. There's some other equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
AZIRAPHALE
Eugh.
Unfortunately this also seems to be the room they were after.
GREIBEL
(from the doorway)
Like I always say, the room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened.
RHU
Hazz'ridan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
GREIBEL
Come again?
RHU
A dead end.
GREIBEL
Well...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Some things might still work.
Greibel suddenly disappears. (rolled 1 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
GREIBELLLLL!
To Rhu (rolled 9 reality) and Aziraphale (rolled 6 reality), it feels as though the room has begun to slide.
Aziraphale backs out of the room, trying to keep his balance.
Radek feels the sliding even harder, and falls over, landing in the blood. (rolled 3 reality) His silvery coating absorbs a small amount, but other than that he remains clean.
Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
The Gravedigger backs out of the room and sits down with his head in his hands, and then Rhu backs into him.
Radek stands up again after a moment and looks around. There seems to be less blood now.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything. The blood also doesn't smell/feel quite right, but it's not even clear what kind it is. Or if Radek is even capable of smell.
He heads back outside as well, not running into the others.
Everyone is in the hall, aside from Greibel, who is just gone.
RADEK
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
RADEK
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
RHU
But?
RADEK
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
Aziraphale checks his phone. He hears a suggestive voice come out and try to chat him up. (rolled 3 reality)
He resolutely ignores it and stuffs the thing back in his pocket.
Frezak (Gravy): Probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Radek tries his radio. (rolled 13 reality) It turns on, but complains about the low signal strength, and locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, this isn't very helpful.
AZIRAPHALE
How are we going to look for Greibel?
RADEK
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
RHU
What's the local signal range?
He checks his own radio.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, we can just leave. He'll come around eventually.
AZIRAPHALE
So Greibel's just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or not. Space and time here are a bloody mess. Nothing means anything.
RADEK
(he scoffs)
Literally bloody, in this case.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ho. Ho. Ho.
(he looks around)
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
RADEK
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed. You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
AZIRAPHALE
Fair enough. Let's go then.
The Gravedigger clomps off.
AZIRAPHALE
(quietly)
Poor Greibel.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?


EXT. Grassy plains - afternoon
Grassy plains roll into the distance, with majestic mountains marking one of the horizons. A huge, solitary tree rises out of one of the nearby knolls, shading the area around in dappled coolness as a slight breeze rustles its leaves. Birds are singing in its branches, and the entire thing has a wonderful feeling of beautiful peacefulness.
Greibel finds himself at the tree's base. It's quite comfortable, and he simply sits back and looks out at all the awesome nature.
The awesome nature continues to be awesome, filling him with feelings of welcome and comfort and warmth, like he has come home at last, without anything to worry about. It's a high better than any other, but without direct cause. It is just the place.
So it's awesome and Greibel is there and time fades away and he becomes one with the awesome.
Aaaand then it suddenly ends with a horrible tearing feeling/sound, and he feels only falling.


EXT. Park - weird-arse twilight
The party finds another exit out the other side of the building. It seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Aziraphale notices Radek starting to glow. (rolled 4 reality) Radek, on the other hand, feels... smarter than usual. Not that this would necessarily register as such. (rolled 20 reality)
RADEK
Hm.
AZIRAPHALE
Er, Radek, are you alright?
RADEK
I feel fine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood. Of course he's fine.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, only he's glowing. That or I'm going insane, or both. Probably both.
RADEK
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
A loud crack comes from one of the trees in the park. Greibel and a branch tumble out.
GREIBEL
Ow!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, Greibel.
GREIBEL
What happened, man?
RADEK
You disappeared again.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah. It was so peaceful... I was in a field of nature. And I became one with the nature. The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
RADEK
Welcome back to reality.
GREIBEL
But this was reality too!
RADEK
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us. At least physically, if it can be helped.
GREIBEL
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
RHU
And how did you wind up over here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Magic.
RHU
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
To Greibel, the tree looks suspiciously similar to the one he was under before, though a bit less healthy.
RADEK
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
GREIBEL
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree. For... ever, it feels like. Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
RADEK
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
GREIBEL
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality.
AZIRAPHALE
So what do we do?
RHU
Pray for a dead end.
RADEK
I'd rather a solution.
AZIRAPHALE
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
RHU
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
GREIBEL
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
AZIRAPHALE
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck. Maybe your god can help us?
RHU
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
RHU
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds just great.
RHU
It does?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's pray so that we can mope. Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
RHU
Yes! It will.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going to go look for a boat.
He trudges off to check out the far side of the park.
GREIBEL
(following)
Hey, I remember boats.
The Gravedigger finds some car-ship thingies docked at the edge. They look fairly intact, so he checks to see if any have keys in, and still seem intact after further prodding and examination.
GREIBEL
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Aziraphale looks at the sky. (rolled 5 reality) It seems to be glowing with that same eerie glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
As he watches, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye. It stares directly at Aziraphale. At, and possibly through.
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAGH.
Aziraphale averts his eyes.
Rhu stares at the sky in horror. (rolled 9 reality)
Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before. (rolled 10 reality) Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
The Gravedigger just doesn't look. A few vehicles he examines do look functional, but they'd need hotwiring.
Greibel pokes a car and it doesn't turn to dust. (rolled 13 reality) It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat. He looks at it disappointedly, but accepts this positive turn of fate.
He tries the door. It opens, and the roof retracts - it's a fairly nice convertible. He gets in and tries to start it.
CAR
Please enter your password.
Greibel smacks the navigation controls in frustration.
CAR
Welcome, Driver 2.
GREIBEL
Nice! I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye.
(yelling back at the others)
I found a thing guys!
Radek and the Gravedigger head over to check this out, and Aziraphale heads after too.
RADEK
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
GREIBEL
(scooting into the back)
Radek, take the wheel.
Rhu finally recovers (slightly) and joins the others at the ship-car-thing as everyone piles in. Radek and the Gravedigger wind up in front, the rest in back with Greibel.
Then Greibel notices the sky. (rolled 5 reality) It's HORRIBLE.
GREIBEL
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY. THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN.
AZIRAPHALE
Yes, yes, take it easy now. Radek, does the ship work?
RHU
(he shudders, not looking up, decidedly not looking up)
It's just staring.
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car ship.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Greibel shivers in terror.
Radek tries the controlls, but they refuse to cooperate, on a seemingly laws of physics level. (rolled 2 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Does the radio work?
Greibel calms down a bit as the sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat him and etc fades away. (rolled 18 reality) Just a bad trip, that's all. It still looks horrible, but he just doesn't look at it.
GREIBEL
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Radek does. Nothing really changes, but then he just tries starting it like normal again. The Gravedigger pokes it too and after a few more tries it starts/
AZIRAPHALE
Just don't break it.
GREIBEL
Road trip, guys.
RADEK
Alright! Destination?
AZIRAPHALE
Wait wait. Does the radio work?
GREIBEL
Tune in some jams!
AZIRAPHALE
I meant like, for communication. Not music. Or does this ship not have that?
Radek flips through the channels. Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises, like a Geiger counter.
AZIRAPHALE
Eee.
RADEK
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting news.
RHU
The sky...
RADEK
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
RHU
It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky. The sky opens its eye and stares at him. (rolled 3 reality) It seems it did not approve of Radek's rude gestures.
They fly the car-ship down toward the sea, headed for one of the nearby wrecks.


EXT. Car; open ocean - weird-arse twilight
Radek drives the car-ship over the ocean while everyone else goes bonkers around him. The sky is watching. The wind is missing. Everything is slightly wrong.
At one point Greibel (rolled 4 reality) and Radek (rolled 3 reality) see another city in the distance, despite the maps saying it should just be ocean that way.
Radek takes a detour to fly toward the other city.
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador.
AZIRAPHALE
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits.
RHU
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking... the ways are blind.
GREIBEL
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles.
A bit later Radek realises he's gone off course and readjusts without saying anything to the others.
Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking, trying to make sense of it. (rolled 20 reality) It is something huge and powerful, and very important.
Greibel, meanwhile, turns into a flock of pygmy moose in the back seat. (rolled 8 reality)
Aziraphale hears voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage. (rolled 9 reality)
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.


EXT. Car above ship wreckage - weird-arse twilight
The wreckage is a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating. There are large blobulous things growing off it. If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they might be hollow.
Radek puts the car-ship in park hovering over the weckage, near the edge, positioned such that he can reach a relatively isolated blobulous thing. The Gravedigger has fallen asleep in the other seat, but the others watch.
He examines it closely, using magic and stuff. (rolled 23 arcana) It seems to be alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. The things are growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy. While each blob seems to be a separate entity, they are all connected together. If he were to take one away, it would affect the others, though how is unclear.
While he does this, the sky glares down, and blobulous things glow at everyone.
Aziraphale stares.
RADEK
Anyone have a knife?
AZIRAPHALE
I have a sword. That work?
RADEK
Well enough.
AZIRAPHALE
(starting to get out his sword)
Oh, I do have a knife.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife instead.
Rhu pets the flock of moose.
Radek moves to cut off a sample, but then the blobulous things all start pulsating (rolled 5 reality). Instead, he steers the car-thing away, putting a hopefully safe distance between them.
RHU
Weren't you going to get a sample?
RADEK
They started moving. These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Greibel nuzzles everyone.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see.
Aziraphale sulks.
Rhu puts a pygmy moose on Azir's lap.
RADEK
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Radek gets out his gun.
Aziraphale watches attentively.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm.
Radek fires at the blob he'd approached before and misses. (rolled 12) They quit moving, so he reloads and tries again, but still misses. (rolled 12)
RADEK
Hmph.
He tries one last time and finally hits the blobulous glowing mutated power cell. (rolled 17) It just sort of deflates and stops glowing.
RADEK
I need to tune this thing.
The moose squeal with delight.
The other cells start getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the space around them. The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
RADEK
Interesting reaction.
Then the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place. An emptiness that is pulling the car-ship toward it as well.
Radek turns the car-ship around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises at first, but once it starts moving the pull becomes insignificant by comparison and the get clear of the anomaly. Radek stops once they seem to be clear.
Rhu, meanwhile, starts screaming. (rolled 1 reality)
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak. It doesn't help.
AZIRAPHALE
Fah.
Agitated pygmy moose run around next to them. And over.
The Gravedigger finally wakes up and hits Rhu with a shovel. (rolled 16 to bop) This successfully knocks him out, and he quits screaming as a result.
AZIRAPHALE
Is that wise?
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
The moose turn back into a Greibel with a pop.
GREIBEL
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess. It sure was fun being moose though.
He finally notices the others: Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
And the ship they went to investigate is just gone. Apparently it turned into a horrible hole in space.
GREIBEL
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH.
RADEK
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
He directs the car-ship towards the city his mad self had been so intent on visiting before.
On the way, Greibel (rolled 6 reality) and Aziraphale (rolled 8 reality) become entirely convinced the other is insane. And trying to kill them.
Greibel panics and shuffles over to the Gravedigger and tries to wake him up again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHAT?
Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON.
Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword. It doesn't help.
RADEK
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?
AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.
GREIBEL
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're all insane. Now shut up.
GREIBEL
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS.
Rhu is still screaming. Aziraphale hits him again.
Rhu finally runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead. Then he starts screaming again.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Quiet back there! Or I'll turn this ship around! And put you in holes!
Rhu stops screaming.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thank you.
The Gravedigger tries to resume his nap.
Greibel continues dancing around behind Gravy for protection from Aziraphale.


EXT. Partially invisible city - weird-arse twilight
Radek docks the car-shit next to something invisible, though to him and Greibel it looks very much like just another Sarathi city. This one is smaller than the first one they came to, and seems to have suffered considerably more damage.
Radek steps out like the grump he is. To the others it looks like he is standing on nothing.
Rhu is still utterly panicked and doesn't even notice.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON. More of this? Anyone have paint?
Aziraphale (rolled 12 reality) and Greibel (rolled 5 reality) finally realise they're actually not trying to kill each other and resume sanity. Or their versions of sanity. Which in Greibel's case doesn't mean much.
Greibel gets distracted by a cloud.
GREIBEL
Wheeeeee.
Aziraphale looks at Greibel and suddenly gets an urge to hug him.
AZIRAPHALE
So Radek, did you just go out for a quick smoke in mid air?
RADEK
No, I'm standing on solid ground. And I don't smoke.
GREIBEL
You should start, man. It's awesome.
RADEK
Undoubtedly.
AZIRAPHALE
What solid ground?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't see any ground.
AZIRAPHALE
I mean, this is quite impressive and all. Or is this one of the perception issues again?
Aziraphale grumbles.
GREIBEL
Pala-dude, perception is just the gateway to the soul, man.
Rhu sort of comes to his senses (rolled 10 reality), sees Radek standing on nothing, and realises he's probably lost it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe we can find fancy glasses.
The Gravedigger pokes the 'ground' with a shovel. His second-best shovel, just in case. It clinks on stone.
AZIRAPHALE
Augh damn it.
Aziraphale gingerly steps outside the vehicle. He winds up standing on nothing, and resolutely looks straight ahead.
The Gravedigger leaps out onto the nothing. Carefully. There is a loud crack as he lands.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That wasn't me.
RADEK
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't want your consciousness. It's sad and grumpy.
RADEK
Hmph. Yours isn't exactly a prize worth fighting for either.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's beyond price.
AZIRAPHALE
This isn't sustainable. Even if we were standing on solid ground, we can't do anything when we can't see what's really around us.
GREIBEL
You know what I do when I want to see what's really around me?
AZIRAPHALE
No. And I don't really want to know.
Aziraphale grumbles some more.
GREIBEL
Your loss, dude.
Greibel smokes some drugs.
The sky is watching like a wretched abyss.
Wen (Aziraphale): brb bathroom.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SKY IN THE BATHROOM. IT'S WATCHING YOU THERE TOO.
The (invisible) ground creaks underfoot.
Radek does some magic to try to stabilise things. (rolled 26 arcana) A couple of buildings fall down, though none particularly closeby.
Everything shimmers. And rumbles. This much everyone can see and hear.
Aziraphale goes back in the car-ship and starts to tend to Rhu's mostly shovel-inflicted injuries, but gets distracted by the rubbling rumbles. He tries to see what did it, but just winds up hearing a horrible high-pitched whine (rolled 4 perception (natural 1)).
Aziraphale winces.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
RAdek? Can you do something so we can see what's going on? Because it sounds like holes.
RADEK
I'm trying.
AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone else hear that noise?
RHU
Yes, we all hear the rumbling.
The rumbling and creaking is becoming more insistent, building up in intensity. Meanwhile the sky is a massive hole and wants to eat everyone.
AZIRAPHALE
There's this... high pitched noise. Real unpleasant. Looks like reality is mucking about.
GREIBEL
This reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Oh wait, no, it was a movie. Never mind.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I think I'm gonna get back in the car now.
He does so.
AZIRAPHALE
Ye-ah. Might be a good idea.
Greibel senses a squirrel he can't see. (rolled 5 reality)
Buildings are collapsing.
GREIBEL
Hmmmm.
The place is rumbling and cracking.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, let's get back in the ship.
Radek does.
Aziraphale reenters the car-ship as well.
Wen (Aziraphale): I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it. >.>
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Words no one has ever said before qithout smelling heavily of wine in an alley.
The sky seems... lower. The shimmering is also much more intense.
GREIBEL
I miss my tree, man.
RADEK
So if you don't want to land on the clearly visible city, which is now admittedly collapsing, by the way, where are we headed?
AZIRAPHALE
Let's check out the sky?
Almost as if in answer to the question, reality collapses in on itself, and everything goes knurd.
GREIBEL
Woah. I haven't seen knurd in ages.
This is the last thing they hear before everyone passes out.


≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 3 (Overview)
Retrieved from ‘https://wiki.zaori.org/w/index.php?title=Holes/Session_3&oldid=2908’

I'm from a little over the border, and yes, everyone here has heard of The Palace.