Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 6"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<pre>
{{holes nav
Gaurav: nooooo not the ducks
|top=true
GM question: did Radek use up all the fertilizer to make his bombs (thanks, Radek!), or do we have any left?
|previous=Holes/Session 5
Apheori (GM): Ask Radek.
|next=Holes/Session 7
Ganelon: I don't know how much it takes to make bombs!
}}
Apheori (GM): You had like a gallon.
 
Gaurav: Did you make as many bombs as you possibly could, or did you make a reasonable amount and leave the rest?
<screenplay>
Ganelon: I made as many as my mechanical parts permitted, not as many as the explosive material I had on hand did.
EXT. Village of Hughenden - day
Gaurav: Let's put a number on the bombs made? Maybe 10?
 
Apheori (GM): As I recall, he made like five.
While Radek talks to the villagers, the rest of the party mills about in the dustiness of the street. There's a fair bit of rubble and random stuff lying around - twisted metal, melted stone, wood that couldn't possibly be wood... the sort of thing kids would love to play on, except there don't seem to be any kids. Anywhere.
At least I think that's what he said.
 
Ganelon: 5..
RHU
Ye.
(he elbows Gravy)
Yes*
There's a lot of dust here. How's the digging?
Apheori (GM): Yes. That's exactly what he said.
 
There's some left.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't know how big these bombs are, or what's reacting with what, but all of the fertiliser wouldn't even fit.
I'm not burying dust.
OKAY.
 
WHERE ARE MY NOTES?
RHU
Frezak (GM): In the sack.
(indicating the nearby buildings)
Apheori (GM): What sack?
What's up with those shingles? They hurt my head.
Ganelon: They're small bombs.
 
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you're in the town. Radek was talking to a pair of codgy old villagers.
Rhu goes and steals a shingle.
Frezak (GM): We were gonna visit the... sinkhole?
 
Gaurav: AWESOME codgy old villagers
Apheori (GM): You were going to head toward the sinkhole, since apparently it's some kind of rift in space.
Gaurav: We should invite them along.
Apheori (GM): There's also the rest of the village, some of whom are probably better educated than... these two.
Frezak (GM): Also, how does fuel work in this car?
How much more movement does it have left?
Gaurav: Do we *have* to go to the Source of the Catastrophe? There must be a cinema around here somewhere.
Apheori (GM): It seems to have... plenty, unless it doesn't. Apparently the designers thought it looked better to not include any sort of power gauge.
Frezak (GM): Hmph.
Apheori (GM): It's a dusty old village thing with no real signs of technology.
At least not that you saw before.
But that was night and people were weird and nobody really looked, did they?
Frezak (GM): Who was weird?
Apheori (GM): Mostly you guys.
And Amadi.
Mostly Amadi, actually.
Ganelon: Yeah, none of the willagers were weird.
Gaurav looks around the village for signs of advanced technology, or anything out of the ordinary.
Gaurav: err
Ganelon: Unless of course, they were weird for this place and normal to us.
Rhu looks around the village for signs of advanced technology, or anything out of the ordinary.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+11 perception check
(
14
)
+11
=
25
Wen: Do you intentionally talk like Elmer Fudd? XD
Frezak (GM): Who's talking like who?
Gaurav: What does Elmer Fudd talk like?
Apheori (GM): I think he means Gan.
Wen: Gan, and replacing v and r with w
Apheori (GM): I was right!
Apheori (GM) does a little dance.
Wen: Well done.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see a lot of dust.
Gaurav: "willagers" is more Chekov from Star Trek than Fudd, no?
Wen: Hmm, actually, yeah, Fudd does r/l->w, not v->w.
Ganelon: It's intentional.
And Frezak's fault.
Apheori (GM): You also see some strange heaps of rubble - twisted metal, melted stone, wood that couldn't possibly be wood... the sort of thing kids would love to play on, except there don't seem to be any kids. Anywhere.
Wen: Okay.
Frezak (GM): So, do we leave the willage?
Rhu elbows Gravy: "There's a lot of dust here. How's the digging?"
Frezak (GM): I take all the blames.
Gaurav: Huh.
Frezak (GM): Junk?
Apheori (GM): And you notice the roofs are shingled in a way that makes no sense.
The Gravedigger: I'm not burying dust.
Wen: Should we ask the wiwawers about it?
(sorry >_>)
Gaurav: Should I roll another perception check to examine the rubble more closely? Or should we let one of the tech people (i.e. Radek) do that?
Apheori (GM) hits Wen with a frying pan.
Gaurav: Go on about the shingles.
Apheori (GM): Look if your guy would look.
Wen: I assume Radek can still talk to them.
Ganelon: He can all day.
Apheori (GM): The shingles are weird. You can't make sense of them. The pattern is wrong. The material is wrong. The shadows are wrong. It makes your head hurt.
Ganelon: But he is not an architect.
Not of buildings.
Gaurav: HUH.
Rhu: What's up with those shingles? They hurt my head.
Bear Soup Guy: an architect of WIZARD
Frezak (GM): Gravy knows about old-style things.
Anything he can learn from this?
The porridge wiggles.
The porridge wiggles.
Bear Soup Guy: ^_^
 
Rhu looks around for any shingle components that might have fallen off the roof for closer examination.
There is a loud thimphk sound behind them, followed by a bit of a cloud of dust rising from the impact.
Frezak (GM): Don't tell me the shingles are scales >.>
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: Some of the shingles are put on backwards. Like someone saw a picture of shingles, tried to make their own, and put them on in the wrong order.
Aziraphale turns to look properly and finds a kind of metal object half embedded in the ground. It is, apparently, an anvil.
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: They're... some kind of ceramic. Apparently.
RHU
Frezak (GM): We might want to ask a willager how this place was built.
Huh! Did it fall from the empty sky? Did it just appear magically behind us? What is it for?
Apheori (GM): There is a loud thimphk soun behind you.
 
sound
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu puts one of the shingle components into my bag
That's an anvil. They don't usually drop from the sky.
Frezak (GM): Thimphk?
 
Rhu jumps.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Thimphk.
What's an anvil?
Aziraphale looks behind him
 
Apheori (GM): And a cloud of dust, apparently.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Small cloud.
Used for... shaping hot metal.
Very small.
 
Frezak (GM): DUST
RHU
Apheori (GM): When it settles, you see some kind of metal object half embedded in the ground.
Huh. It looks dangerous, it could have killed someone. Maybe that's what happened to all the children...
Wen: I examine the object
 
Apheori (GM): The villagers are watching curiously as well.
AZIRAPHALE
Roll a... thingy to recognise it.
What, an anvil dropped on them? Don't be silly.
Frezak (GM): What kind of thingy?
Ganelon: I'll do a magic thingy.
rolling 1d20+10
(
9
)
+10
=
19
Apheori (GM): History, I think.
Although other thingies would work too.
Frezak (GM): Crud.
Apheori (GM): Gan almost got it with magic.
Wen: well my history is 0 so... someone else?
I have +8 insight and +3 perception
Frezak (GM): I might just want perception to tell what it looks like rather than what it is >.>
Apheori (GM): Just roll, silly.
Ganelon: Damn.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
19
)
+8
=
27
Perception.
I see all the things.
I see the bugs in the grass.
I see the germs on the wind.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Gravy recognises it from his shovel... however he got his shovels.
.It's an anvil.
Frezak (GM): I made my shovels.
Oh dear.
Rhu: Huh!
Rhu looks around anxiously to see where it might have fallen out of or come from.
Apheori (GM): No buildings over where it fell. The sky is clear. Wisps of clouds, a little dusty haze.
Rhu: Did it fall from the empty sky? Did it just appear magically behind us? What is it for?
Apheori (GM): Gravy's perception indicates it fell out of the sky. You could try asking the villagers if they have any idea...
The Gravedigger: That's an anvil.
They don't usually drop from the sky.
Rhu: What's an anvil?
The Gravedigger: Used for... shaping hot metal.
Gaurav: (I'm not being silly, Rhu would never have encountered an anvil before in his life. He's a big city boy.)
Rhu: Huh. It looks dangerous, it could have killed someone.
Maybe that's what happened to all the children ...
Aziraphale: What, an anvil dropped on them?
Don't be silly.
Radek, can you ask them if stuff drops out of the sky?
Radek, can you ask them if stuff drops out of the sky?
Radek: ~Does this happen often?~
 
RADEK
(in deslau, to one of the villagers)
''Does this happen often?''
 
Villager shrugs.
Villager shrugs.
Villager: ~Sometimes. Not really.~
 
Frezak (GM): I'm suprised that you know what a shingle is.
VILLAGER
Aziraphale: Okay, so it's at least happened before.
(in deslau)
This is curious.
''Sometimes. Not really.''
Rhu: The thing people put on their houses in the fancy part of town? Sure, I've seen those. But I just figured metal was shaped in ... I dunno, factories. Or something.
 
Radek: It is, these days.
RHU
Well, in our days.
Do we have any technology that could warn us of incoming anvils? We might need to dodge them at some point.
Rhu: Do we have any technology that could warn us of incoming anvils? We might need to dodge them at some point.
 
Radek: The villagers don't see this sort of event often.
RADEK
The villagers don't see this sort of event often.
I have nothing on hand, at least.
I have nothing on hand, at least.
Aziraphale: What about the funny metal things / toys? Did those drop from the sky as well?
 
The Gravedigger: Given how fast those drop, you'd need some seriously awesome detector thing.
AZIRAPHALE
Rhu: Ah, true.
Okay, so it's at least happened before. This is curious.
Frezak (GM): I want to inspect the ... stuff. Is it scrap metal?
 
Apheori (GM): It... sure.
RADEK
Oh, yeah.
It is, these days. Well, in our days.
Sorry, had to look up scrap metal.
 
It's not rusty.
AZIRAPHALE
It's not very shiny, either.
What about the funny metal things/toys? Did those drop from the sky as well?
GREIBEL: I WANT A D20.
 
Greibel:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20
Given how fast those drop, you'd need some seriously awesome detector thing.
(
 
14
RHU
)
Ah, true.
=
 
14
The porridge drips down Greibel's arm.
Frezak (GM): Does it look like it all came from the same... thing?
 
Or is it more .... assorted?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Assorted.
Radek, can you ask them where these came from? Piles of scrap metal isn't really what I'd expect from this level of technology.
Frezak (GM): Hmmm.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You're kind of bored. The porridge is dripping down your arm. But you don't have any great urge to flap your arms and run around honking.
The older villager gets up and ambles off.
The Gravedigger: Radek, can you ask them where these came from?
 
Apheori (GM): One of the villagers gets up and ambles off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Piles of scrap metal isn't really what I'd expect from this level of technology.
I probably wouldn't expect a rain of anvils either, though.
Apheori (GM): The other is watching Greibel as though waiting for something.
 
Ganelon: Sorry, the scrap?
Greibel draws funny pictures in the dirt with a stick.
The Gravedigger: I probably wouldn't expect a rain of anvils either, though.
 
Frezak (GM): Yes.
RADEK
Greibel draws funny pictures in the dirt with a stick
(in deslau)
Radek: ~Where did this metal come from?~
''Where did this metal come from?''
Villager: ~You know.~
 
Radek: ~Nowhere?~
VILLAGER
Villager: ~Oh, totally. I'm sure it just appeared one day.~
(in deslau)
Wen: (brb bathroom)
''You know.''
Villager: ~Everything came from somewhere, right? Except where did it all come from before there was a SOMEWHERE for it to come from, hmm?~
 
Villager nods sagely.
RADEK
(in deslau)
''Nowhere?''
 
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
''Oh, totally. I'm sure it just appeared one day. Everything came from somewhere, right? Except where did it all come from before there was a SOMEWHERE for it to come from, hmm?''
 
The villager nods sagely.
 
Radek grumbles.
Radek grumbles.
Frezak (GM): Punch him.
Gaurav: Philosopher-villagers are the worst villagers.
Radek: He doesn't know. Another rift in space, I assume.
Frezak (GM): Aye.
Hmm.
Ganelon: If I punched him, it would probably hurt *me*
Frezak (GM): Well.
I have nothing more I can do here.
If you were a Warlord you could Direct A Punch.
Anyways.
TIme to go explore he sinkhole thing?
Ganelon: Sure.


Gaurav: We could try to Intimidate him, but I don't know that that'd help.
RADEK
Rhu heads over to CAR and gets into the driving seat
He doesn't know. Another rift in space, I assume.
Rhu: (Unless somebody else wants to drive?)
 
Frezak (GM): Nah.
 
I call shotgun.
EXT. Car - day
Wen: (back)
 
Apheori (GM): Anyone want to dally, or do you all pile in?
The party returns to the car to head out, with Rhu retaking the driver's seat, and the others piling in around.
Ganelon: No dallying here.
 
Aziraphale: I go in.
There's a rough drawing of a tree on the dash with something written under it.
Rhu: Griebel?
 
Greibel: I'm content with sitting in back
Rhu realises he sat on something.
Rhu: Cool. I think that's everybody? Let's go!
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Silly question, but can you drive?
RHU
I mean, have you ever done it before?
Huh?
Rhu turns CAR on, gets us up to 20 ft or so, and drives us in the direction of the sinkhole.
 
Rhu: Yes. Also, I drove us here from the campsite.
He finds a string of beads.
Apheori (GM): Oh, okay.
 
Rhu: I'm a city boy, so experience with cars makes sense.
RHU
Apheori (GM): You realise you sat on something.
Huh! Do these beads mean anything to anyone?
Rhu: Huh?
 
Rhu looks down to see what I'm sitting on
There's some shrugging and general dissent.
Apheori (GM): It's a string of beads.
 
Also it looks like someone painted on the dash.
RADEK
Rhu: Huh!
(indicating the drawing)
Frezak (GM): Dang kids!
...It says 'guard'.
Rhu: Do these string of beads mean anything to anyone?
 
Ganelon: Not to my knowledge.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: What's painted on the dash?
Ominous.
Apheori (GM): Gan: It appears to say 'guard'.
 
And there's a picture of a tree. Maybe.
RHU
Frezak (GM): In what language?
Yeah, maybe it's magical? Maybe it 'guards' us? Also, what's with the tree?
Rhu: Mysterious.
 
Aziraphale: Does it look like vandalism?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu puts away the string of beads.
Either it's 'beware the tree' or 'the tree is a guard' or the tree means nothing and it's just general blabbings.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
It's the local language.
RADEK
Aziraphale: Hmm...
I'm inclined to believe the latter. I'm a scientist.
I don't think we can gain much information from that alone. Let's go to the sinkhole.
 
Frezak (GM): Huh.
AZIRAPHALE
Literate peasants?
Hmm... I don't think we can gain much information from that alone. Let's go to the sinkhole.
Rhu: Maybe it wasn't the peasants.
 
Radek: ...It says "guard".
They fly off toward the sinkhole.
The Gravedigger: Ominous.
 
Ganelon: How fresh is the paint?
 
Apheori (GM): It's dry.
EXT. Hole at Vermai - day
Frezak (GM): It's definitely paint?
 
Rhu: Yeah, maybe it's magical? Maybe it "guards" us?
The car ship flies toward what turns out to be a really large, mostly dead tree with a bit of a sinkhole right next to it.
Also, what's with the tree?
 
Apheori (GM): It's not anything else that you know of.
The tree dwarfs the surrounding trees, and has a much smaller tree, which is still alive, apparently growing out of the side of it.
The Gravedigger: Either it's 'beware the tree" or "the tree is a guard" or the tree means nothing and it's just general blabbings.
 
Radek: I'm inclined to believe the latter.
The sinkhole is mostly just a really dusty, dry-looking sinkhole.
Frezak (GM): YOU HAVE NO MYSTERY IN YOUR SOUL.
 
It's full of... magic instead.
GREIBEL
Radek: I'm a scientist.
(to Rhu)
Frezak (GM): Let's go!
Of course I can talk to bears, silly.
Ganelon: Onwards.
 
Rhu keeps driving us towards the rift thing.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): You fly over a bunch of trees.
From what I've been told, approaching any further would be unwise.
They all appear to be dead.
 
It's kind of depressing.
They stop in midair a fair distance away.
Gaurav: The tree painted on the dashboard isn't dead, right?
 
Apheori (GM): It's hard to tell because it's so badly drawn.
RHU
A starved bear watches you pass.
One of these trees might be our dashboard tree. But which one?
Rhu: Greibel: can you talk to bears?
 
Frezak (GM): It's visibly starved?
RADEK
Cripes.
Don't ask me. I don't deal in organics.
What a shitty place.
 
Ganelon: That could be troublesome.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): A really big tree rises out of all the others.
This is all really weird. That living one isn't the same kind as the big one. And I don't see roots.
Or rather it seems to; it mostly just sits there as you approach.
Bear Soup Guy: CAN I talk to bears?
Frezak (GM): SLOWING DOWN MIGHT AN IDEA.
Rhu slows CAR down
Frezak (GM): Is this big tree alive or dead?
Ganelon: I'm inclined to say that you can, because you're a druid.
But I don't know if there's an explicit rule saying so.
Gaurav: How big is big?
Bear Soup Guy: right then
Greibel: Of course I can talk to bears, silly
Gaurav: It doesn't make sense that you can talk to animals, since they're not sentient. But there's a wizard ritual which allows you to command animals, I think?
Ganelon: Animals can still communicate with each other.
Gaurav: Ah, true.
Bear Soup Guy: It
Gaurav: I wonder if Griebel can produce pheromones.
Ganelon: Expecting a bear to know things is another matter.
Bear Soup Guy: 's more like...reading their emotions and intentions and stuff
Apheori (GM): You're past the bear now anyhow.
Frezak (GM): ANimals can communicate very simple concepts.
Wouldn't call it 'talking'
Apheori (GM): The really big tree has a littler tree growing out the side that isn't dead.
Frezak (GM): Cripes.
Apheori (GM): Also you seem to be at your destination. The hole opens up almost at the roots of the tree.
Radek: From what I've been told, approaching any further would be unwise.
Rhu stops CAR in mid air
Gaurav: Is the littler tree growing parallel or perpendicular to the big tree?
Frezak (GM): Can I roll Nature to learn anything about said trees?
Apheori (GM): It's growing out perpendicular at the base, but then it curves back up.
And you totally can.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
12
)
+8
=
20
Rhu: I think we should send Griebel in to investigate the tree -- he can get closer than we can in CAR without landing, and he can poke around with a single bird in his flock without risking himself (too much).
Apheori (GM): They're different kinds of trees, it doesn't appear to be grafted, but there are also no roots available.
Rhu: One of these trees might be our dashboard tree. But which one?
The Gravedigger: This is all really weird.
Radek: Don't ask me. I don't deal in organics.
The Gravedigger: That living one isn't the same kind as the big one. And I don't see roots.
That's really weird.
That's really weird.
Rhu: I dunno. Compared to Sarathi, this is almost mundane. So far. (looks around warily for giant fish)
 
The Gravedigger: It might not be a tree.
RHU
Maybe something trying to look like one.
I dunno. Compared to Sarathi, this is almost mundane. So far.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Azir: d20s
 
Bear Soup Guy:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20
It might not be a tree. Maybe something trying to look like one.
(
 
19
RHU
)
Griebel, do your flock of seagulls thing!
=
 
19
GREIBEL
Rhu:
And I raaaan. I raaan so faaar awaaaaay.
rolling 1d20+11 perception check to see if I can spot any evidence that the little tree might be something pretending to be a tree
(
10
)
+11
=
21
Apheori (GM): It's glowing slightly.
You aren't close enough to see in the hole, but maybe it's like that? You don't know.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Gaurav: Is the hole is at the roots of the big tree?
Apheori (GM): Pretty much.
Frezak (GM): Shoot the tree!
Rhu: Griebel: do your flock of seagulls thing!
Greibel: And I raaaan
I raaan so faaar awaaaaat
y*
Wait, maybe that's the wrong band...
Wait, maybe that's the wrong band...
Greibel turns into birds
 
Greibel sends one bird out to search the tree
Greibel turns into birds and then sends one bird out to approach the tree.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
 
Greibel:
It seems normal enough. Hello, tree. Nice tree. It lands. A tree. A little bit ill, a little bit lush, but not something dangerous. Smells just fine. Feels just fine.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Then the flock of Greibel all sort of just falls asleep. ''(rolled 7 reality)''
7
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
There. See. That's not normal.
7
 
Apheori (GM): The bird approaches the tree. Hello, tree. Nice tree. It lands. It seems normal enough. A little bit ill, a little bit lush, but not something dangerous. Smells just fine. Feels just fine.
The porridge sits on Greibel's seat emitting an aura of loneliness, and oozes over one of the birds, partially enveloping it in a strange sort of hug.
The flock of Greibel all sort of just falls asleep.
 
Azir, Rhu: d20s
Rhu reaches out to pat the porridge reassuringly, but the porridge cowers away from his hand.
Rhu:
 
rolling d20
Aziraphale fidgets, feeling the hole calling to him. ''(rolled 11 reality)''
(
 
10
THE GRAVEDIGGER
)
Someone poke the rest of Greibel, would you?
=
 
10
RHU
The Gravedigger: There.
OY BIRDS. WAKE UP.
See.
 
THat's not normal.
The birds in the car neglect to wake up.
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
The bird on the tree falls off the branch and tumbles into the hole. ''(rolled 3 reality)''
(
 
11
Aziraphale, meanwhile, loses control in light of the power of the hole's call and climbs out of the car, falling to the ground. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
)
 
=
He continues crawling toward it on the ground.
11
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel the hole calling to you, not in words, but in a sense that it is important, you need to get closer, to see it. You must go to it...
RHU
Ganelon: Oh boy.
Azir! Dammit.
I hope that innkeeper was wrong.
 
The porridge sits on Greibel's seat emitting an aura of loneliness.
RADEK
Rhu reaches out and pats the porridge reassuringly.
Oh, great.
The porridge oozes over to one of the birds and partially envelops it in a strange sort of hug.
 
Aziraphale fidgets
Rhu directs the car to land between Aziraphale and the hole.
The porridge cowers away from Rhu's hand.
 
Rhu withdraws his hand
RADEK
The Gravedigger: Someone poke the rest of Greibel, would you ?
Gravy, hold him back.
Ganelon: I don't know how to wake up birds, but I'll give it a shot.
 
Rhu: OY BIRDS
As the vehicle passes over Aziraphale, the Gravedigger jumps out, landing on top of him and pinning him down.
WAKE UP
 
Apheori (GM): The birds neglect to wake up.
Aziraphale recovers slightly and stops trying to crawl into the sinkhole. ''(rolled 17 reality)''
Frezak (GM): Drive the CAR back and see if that works.
 
Dammit. No, the bird will still be on the tree.
The flock of Greibel also wakes up a bit and makes some funny bird noises. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
If we;.. stab him or something, would he reform in the car?
 
Rhu: Maybe if we knock it off the tree?
From here, the contents of the sinkhole are much more visible. Said contents seem to just be water. It looks disappointingly normal.
I think I have a slingshot.
 
Apheori (GM): Azir, Rhu, Greibel: d20s.
AZIRAPHALE
Rhu:
Hey, Gravy, get off me, I feel better now.
rolling d20
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
17
Promise not to start running into that hole?
)
 
=
AZIRAPHALE
17
Probably not.
Ganelon: I don't have anything that could grab him.
 
Greibel:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20
Hmm.
(
 
3
The Gravedigger gets off Aziraphale, but remains close in case he runs again.
)
 
=
RHU
3
So investigate the hole on foot? And hope we don't all fall asleep?
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
AZIRAPHALE
(
I think it'll be a better idea if two people take a look. And that two people shouldn't include me.
1
 
)
RADEK
=
Let's start with something useless.
1
 
...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): The bird on the tree falls off on its own and tumbles into the hole.
What, throw a rock?
Ganelon: Nooooo
 
Gaurav: uhoh
Radek glances at Greibel.
Wen: I peer into the hole cautiously
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: The call of the hole is overpowering. You're not close enough to see in properly, and you must see in properly, you must.
RADEK
Without realising what you're doing, you climb out of the car thing and fall to the ground.
(quietly)
Wen: I crawl on the ground
Like... a rock. Yes.
Rhu: Azir!
 
Damnit.
RHU
Radek: Oh, great.
...can Greibel turn into a giant spider? Spiders are good at holes. Or tunnels, at any rate.
Rhu lands CAR as close to Azir as I can
 
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: The bird didn't vanish, right?
It looked like it had water at the bottom. If there's a magic ripping hole in there, it's invisible.
Apheori (GM): You don't know. You still can't see in.
 
Well, not down.
AZIRAPHALE
You need to get closer to the edge, which is, conveniently or otherwise, where Azir seems to be going.
Isn't one part of Greibel already ''in'' the hole? It might have drowned. It might have fallen through time. Frankly I have no idea.
Radek: Gravy, hold him back.
 
Gaurav: If there's enough space between Azir and the tree in the direction he's crawling, I land CAR between them
The rest of Greibel just sits there making noises.
Frezak (GM): I want to jump ONTO azir.
 
Wen: I try to crawl around it
RHU
Frezak (GM): Bodyslam thing.
I could go with the rope tied around me. I'm pretty light. Or lithe.
Apheori (GM): o_O
 
Ganelon: Like a wrestler.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Okay... how do we determine if it smashes him?
I'll look.
Frezak (GM): Well.
 
First, is Azir actually crawling?
Aziraphale fidgets and then gets tackled by the Gravedigger again.
Or walking?
 
Wen: it'll probably be difficult to kill me if you just land on me since I'm wearing armour
Radek gets out of the car as well and impatiently heads for the edge of the hole in order to peer in properly. The water in the sinkhole is actually quite pretty, with shades of blue and green fading to black at its depths...
Apheori (GM): He's crawling. He seems to have been rather hurt by the initial fall already.
 
Ganelon: I have things to fix injuries.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): So if he's moving so slowly I can just drop onto him, no?
SOMEONE GRAB RADEK.
Apheori (GM): Probably.
Frezak (GM): So, i'll just do that then?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Everyone: d20s
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
12
)
=
12
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
11
)
=
11
Apheori (GM): Greibel wakes up partially and starts making funny bird noises.
Azir: You wonder what the hell you're doing.
Also there's something really large on top of you.
Aziraphale wonders what the hell he is doing
Aziraphale tries to sit up and look at what's on top of him
Gaurav: Is Greibel still a flock?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You look into the hole and see water partway down. It looks disappointingly normal.
Gaurav: Yes.
Wen: Am I still crawling?
Apheori (GM): You can't.
Gravy's in the way.
By which I mean on top of you.
Wen: Am I sane now?
Apheori (GM): Saner.
Wen: Oh good.
Aziraphale: Hey, Gravy, get off me, I feel better now.
Apheori (GM): You still want to know what's in it, though. It still feels important. You just have more of a presence of mind to wonder what the hell.
Or something along those lines.
The Gravedigger: Promise not to start running into that hole?
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel like you don't need to run into the hole.
Aziraphale: Probably not.
Gaurav: Did Azir take any damage from jumping out of CAR at twenty feet? Or from having Gravy jump onto him?
The Gravedigger: Hmm.
Frezak (GM): I'll get up, but keep close in case he runs again.
Apheori (GM): Some.
Greibel: You can wake up properly now.
Wen: Can / should I heal myself?
Rhu: So: investigate the hole on foot? And hope we don't all fall asleep?
Aziraphale: I think it'll be a better idea if two people take a look.
And that two people shouldn't include me.
Frezak (GM): You know what.
We have rope.
Tie it around one guy. Preferably someoen light.
Aziraphale: I think dropping anyone down the sinkhole is a bad idea.
Ropes won't stop... time portals.
Or whatever that is.
Frezak (GM): And have me and whoever's left to yank in case they run or jump.
Radek: Let's start with something useless.
The Gravedigger: What, throw a rock?
Radek glances at Greibel. "Like... a rock. Yes."
Rhu: ... can Greibel turn into a giant spider? Spiders are good at holes. Or tunnels, at any rate.
The Gravedigger: It looked like it had water at the bottom.
If there's a magic ripping hole in there, it's invisible.
Aziraphale: Isn't one part of Greibel already _in_ the hole?
Ganelon: Can we see a bird down there?
Aziraphale: It might have drowned. It might have fallen through time.
Frankly I have no idea
Rhu: I could go with the rope tied around me. I'm pretty light. Or lithe.
Apheori (GM): You don't have a full view in. Do you want to get close enough to see?
Wen: I reiterate that I think it's better if two people go, instead of all of us.
Apheori (GM): Also the gulls are still just sort of sitting around the seat and floor or the car.
Frezak (GM): Is Greibel just sitting there making noises?
Apheori (GM): Pretty much.
Frezak (GM): I volunteer to look.
Since I'm apparently least likely to go crayzay.
Apheori (GM): Rhu, Radek, Azir: d20s.
Ganelon: I'll have your back.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
19
)
=
19
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Rhu: Yes, but *if* Gravy goes crazy, we're screwed. None of us can hold him down.
Wen: crap.
That's a fair point.
er, IG.
Apheori (GM): Azir, Radek: You really want to see what's in there.
Wen: Gahhh
Rhu: I'm happy to let them go, and for the rest of us to hang back as backup.
Aziraphale fidgets, but since it's happened before, he's more aware of it this time
Frezak (GM): As soon as Azir moves I tackle him again.
Since I was waiting for this.
Oh, right.
Gaurav: A Gravy tackle is a sight to behold.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so Azir is tackled.
Ganelon: Eh, Radek's getting impatient. He'll get closer.
The Gravedigger: SOMEONE GRAB RADEK
I have my hands full of paladin here.
I have my hands full of paladin here.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
 
Radek: I'll be fine!
RADEK
Frezak (GM):
I'll be fine! I'm coated in the stuff of time and non-existence.
rolling 1D20
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
8
FINE THEN.
)
 
=
RHU
8
If we want to do the rope thing, we need to do that ''now'' and then back away. Otherwise we're all going to get mentally dragged into the hole.
Radek: I'm coated in the stuff of time and non-existence.
 
The Gravedigger: FINE THEN
Radek tosses a rock into the hole and it splashes into the water, exactly like a rock should do.
Rhu: Good point.
 
If we want to do the rope thing, we need to do that NOW and then back away. Otherwise we're all going to get mentally dragged into the hole.
Then the rock bobs back up to the surface and floats, exactly like a rock shouldn't do.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You approach the edge. Roll perception.
 
Radek: Just a sec.
RADEK
Ganelon: OOC.
Alright, hand me a rope.
I think I know what my perception mod is but I don't want to guess.
 
Apheori (GM): 7
Rhu looks around for anything else around the hole and spots the seagull back in the tree. ''(rolled 22 perception)''
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+7
RHU
(
Hey! Isn't that a bit of Greibel?
7
 
)
He looks again and the gull is gone.
+7
 
=
RHU
14
Hey, where did it go?
Yep. Thank you.
 
Rhu: +1 for being within five spaces of me?
Radek makes Rhu move the car over the hole and tie a rope to it, and hastily ties the other end of the rope around his waist.
Ganelon: Oh.
 
Then it's 15.
As Rhu watches, peering down into the hole, he feels all of his problems just fade away. All of the horror of the past few days just melts... ''(rolled 5 reality)''
Apheori (GM): You peer into the hole. It looks like a normal sinkhole full of water. It's actually quite pretty.
 
With shades of blue and green fading to black at its depths...
RHU
Ganelon: Is there a rock or something I could toss in?
That water looks really cool and refreshing... maybe a short swim will help us think about this problem better?
As I seem to still exist.
 
Rhu: If you can't find out, you could throw in one of those mysterious coins we found earlier.
Aziraphale fidgets.
Apheori (GM): There are rocks.
 
Sorry, chrome died.
Radek dives into the hole. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' The rope goes taut with him hanging a couple meters above the water.
It actually looks a little something like this, but deeper and more water. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sink_hole.jpg
 
And no stairs and crap, obviously.
RHU
Gaurav: Pretty.
The water. So relaxing.
Ganelon: Pretty indeed.
 
Okay, so I'll chuck a rock towards it and observe.
Radek hangs over the water. He suddenly realises how much he loves the hole. How wonderful it is. ''(rolled 1 reality)'' How he could be one with the hole. All of the hole. The hole.
Wen: Very pretty.
 
Gaurav: Is it that big? I imagined something 2-3m across.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Yes.
THIS HOLE IS GREAT!
It's big.
Lower the car! I haven't hit the surface yet!
The rock goes in as expected, with a slight splace.
 
splash
On one of the car seats, where nobody is looking, a porridge-wrapped seagull fidgets.
Then it bobs back up to the surface and floats.
 
There is no sign of a seagull anywhere.
Rhu fidgets and lowers the car.
Radek: Alright, hand me a rope.
 
Rhu:
By the edge, Aziraphale continues to fidget, and the Gravedigger lets go. Aziraphale just stays put for the time being.
rolling d20+11 perception check away from the sink hole, to see if anything else -- particularly anything on the tree -- responded to the splash
 
(
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I might as well just pitch everyone into the hole at this point.
11
 
)
As Radek is lowered into the water, he submerges with a plop and sinks. The water is dark and watery and fairly clear, and there is very little of interest.
+11
 
=
The Gravedigger throws some random bits of junk into the water. A handaxe. Some rocks. The handaxe sinks. The rocks float.
22
 
Apheori (GM): The edges are kind of like this all the way around, though. http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mosul_Dam_sinkhole.jpg
Radek sees an axe drifting down nearby before suddenly disappearing, and climbs up the rope back to the surface of the water.
Rhu: You notice the gull in the tree.
 
Rhu: Hey! Isn't that a bit of Greibel?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): You look again and the gull is gone.
Who just threw an axe at me!?
Rhu: Right th-- hey, where did it go?
 
Gaurav: The rest of Greibel is still here, though, right? Can he still sense what's going on with the one missing gull?
Aziraphale sees bones. All around Sticking out of the ground. Piled up. Littered about. ''(rolled 7 reality)''
Apheori (GM): His mind appears to be elsewhere.
 
Where, I couldn't quite say.
AZIRAPHALE
Apheori (GM) glares at Bear Soup Guy.
Hey, guys, there are bones here. There are...
Ganelon: Hint hint.
(he looks more closely at them)
Apheori (GM): Gan: You may have a rope of your own, if all else fails. After all, this is very interesting.
Plastic bones here!
Very, very interesting.
 
Azir, Rhu, Radek: d20s.
RADEK
And Gravy.
Plastic bones? Who cares! The axe disappeared!
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
That... sounds like a decoy.
4
 
)
AZIRAPHALE
=
(indicating the bones that only he can see)
4
Come look!
Aziraphale:
 
rolling 1d20
The Gravedigger plods over to test the bones, but he doesn't see any.
(
 
11
Aziraphale sweeps his arms to point at the bones all around them.
)
 
=
AZIRAPHALE
11
You can't see them?
Gaurav:
 
rolling d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
GODS FUCKING DAMMIT. THIS IS HOPELESS.
5
)
=
5
eep
Ganelon: Well, I want something to secure it to.
I'm not diving into this hole unless you force me to do it.
Rhu ties one end of my rope to CAR and throws the other end to Radek
Rhu: Catch!
Ganelon: There we go.
Apheori (GM): You do want to dive into the hole, or part of you seems to... and now you have a rope...
Wen: tie it to yourself first
is Gravy still securing me?
Frezak (GM): Probably.
Ganelon: Yeah, I'll hastily tie it around my waist and go for it.
Rhu: No no tie it properly
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You start following the rope as well and stare into the hole. As you do, you feel like all of your problems just fade away. All of the horror of the past few days just melts...
Rhu: and we might want to secure this end to both CAR and Gravy. CAR is great and all but Gravy is the stablest.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You feel slightly claustrophobic.
Aziraphale fidgets
Rhu: That water looks really cool and refreshing ... maybe a short swim will help us think about this problem better?
Apheori (GM): There's a tree.
TREE TREE TREE.
Gaurav: I don't trust tree. What if it vanishes? Or puts us to sleep?
Apheori (GM): Who knows!
Radek dives into the hole.
The rope goes taught a couple feet above the water.
Rhu: The water. So relaxing.
Apheori (GM): Nothing really interesting happens, except for it digging into him a bit uncomfortably as a result.
Frezak (GM): Gah.
Ganelon: Bungee jumping whoo!
Except with zero elasticity!
Frezak (GM): SHort of beating everyone senseless I can't stop people going down there.
Apheori (GM): Gan, Gravy: d20
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
14
)
=
14
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
I LOVE THIS HOLE
Apheori (GM): You love the hole.
It's a wonderful hole.
Radek: THIS HOLE IS GREAT!
Apheori (GM): It's everything to you.
Radek: Lower the car!
I haven't hit the surface yet!
Apheori (GM): You feel like you could be one with the hole. All of the hole. The hole.
Gaurav: I want to go back to the car and drive it a bit closer so that Radek can be lowered further, but I guess I'm compelled to get closer to the hole? Can I roll fortitude or something to resist?
Apheori (GM): On the seat, where nobody is paying attention, a porridge-wrapped seagull fidgets.
Do it.
Wen: Please notice the seagull
Ganelon: Not fortitude, endurance.
Gaurav: Ah okay, that makes more sense.
Apheori (GM): Well, you could roll a straight up sanity here.
But that may have better odds.
Rhu:
rolling d20+1 endurance check to fight the desire to head for the water so I can go drive the car closer
(
10
)
+1
=
11
not by much
Apheori (GM): You don't want to move away.
Rhu fidgets, but stays where he is.
Apheori (GM): Well, the sanity could have the opposite effect.
Soll it!
Roll.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
10
)
=
10
nothing if not consistent
Apheori (GM): No effect!
Rhu fidgets.
Ganelon: Curse your reliability.
Apheori (GM): Azir, Gravy!
Ganelon: I'm still dangling here.
Wen: I'm still fidgeting
Frezak (GM): I might as well just pitch everyone into the hole at this point.
Apheori (GM): Well, do something.
Wen: can I do a sanity roll?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): You want the hole.
Wen: Bah.
Apheori (GM): Roll again.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Wen: >_>
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Nothing interesting there.
Wen: Oh.
Frezak (GM): *sigh*
Well apparently we're gonna end up in this hole regardless.
I'll just drive the car down there.
Apheori (GM): All the way down?
With Radek hanging off it on a rope?
Ganelon: I guess that means I hit the water first.
Frezak (GM): He's a few feet from the water.
Apheori (GM): Hanging off a rope attached to the car.
Actually...
Radek: As the water gets closer...
Roll a d20.
Frezak (GM): So?
He'll just plop into the water.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): He plops into the water.
Can Radek swim?
Ganelon: He doesn't need to breathe anymore.
Apheori (GM): Oh, good point.
Okay, does he swim?
Ganelon: Nah. This hole has depths that must be plumbed.
Frezak (GM): Roll to wallow.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20
Ganelon: Unless he also floats. Then he could try to swim down.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
16
)
=
16
Ganelon: Although I imagine he's far from an accomplished athlete.
Apheori (GM): Radek sinks. It's dark and watery and fairly clear. There is very little of interest.
Gaurav: Yeah, you'd float if you have enough fat on you. But he's got a bunch of metal things?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You recover and do whatever you feel like now.
But the rock he threw in is still floating.
Wen: So the water's pretty dense.
Apheori (GM): It looks normal, though. The ripples look like... ripples.
Rhu blinks
Frezak (GM): I'll throw some random bit of junk into the water.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20. Gravy's off you.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Wen: crap.
Apheori (GM): What random bit of junk?
Rhu: He's fallen in the water.
Frezak (GM): One of my... handaxes.
Rhu: We have coins and stuff.
Might be worth less than a handax.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You see bones.
Sticking out of the ground.
Piled up.
Littered about.
Wen: I examine the bones
Ganelon: Hm.
Apheori (GM): The handaxe sails into the hole and disappears.
Ganelon: You guys are throwing axes at the hole when I'm inside it?
Rhu walks away from the sinkhole, up towards the tree, and examines it.
Ganelon: You dicks!
Apheori (GM): Gan: You're hanging in the water. You see a handax drift down nearby.
Rhu:
rolling d20+11 perception check to examine tree
(
16
)
+11
=
27
Wen: Do I still feel an irresistible urge to go into the hole/
Apheori (GM): The axe disappears.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
Apheori (GM): Wen: Yes, but the bones are distracting you for the moment.
Ganelon: I'll climb this rope to the surface.
Apheori (GM): Azir: They look like bones.
Wen: I call out to the others and mention the bones
Aziraphale: Hey, guys, there are bones here.
Wen: can I do a perception check to see if they're real?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's a tree! It's dead. It's been dead for awhile. Nothing's really eaten it. Rain hasn't rotted it. The little tree is still glowing.
Radek: Who just threw an axe at me!?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You realise the water is also glowing.
Frezak (GM): What kind of bones?
Apheori (GM): Wen: Totally.
Leg bones!
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20 + 3
(
16
)
+3
=
19
Frezak (GM): Are they attached to thigh bones?
And I /tossed/ and axe into WATER.
Apheori (GM): Azir: They seem to be made of plastic.
Aziraphale: Guys, there are plastic bones here!
Gaurav: How high up is the little tree?
Apheori (GM): 20ft or something.
Gaurav: BSG is still MIA right?
Wen: looks like it :/
Radek: Plastic bones? Who cares!
The axe disappeared!
Gaurav: Can we hear Radek through our headset-things? Or do those not work underwater?
Apheori (GM): He climbed out.
Ganelon: At the very least his head is above the water.
Frezak (GM): Plastic bones?
The Gravedigger: That... sounds like a decoy.
Aziraphale: Come look!
The Gravedigger plods over to test the bones for plasticity.
Wen: GM: I don't know if they see them or not
Apheori (GM): They don't see them.
Frezak (GM): I am clearly a bone expert.
Wen: I expected as much
Aziraphale sweeps his arms to point at the bones all around them
Frezak (GM): The bones that I cant see?
Aziraphale: You can't see them?
Rhu: Radek: what does the water smell like?
The Gravedigger: GODS FUCKING DAMMIT.
THIS IS HOPELESS.
I'm gonna go back and become a helpful member of some community.
I'm gonna go back and become a helpful member of some community.
Ganelon: Can I smell?
 
Like, at all?
RHU
Apheori (GM): Gan: Nope.
Radek, what does the water smell like?
Azir, Gravy: d20s.
 
Aziraphale:
RADEK
rolling 1d20
You tell me! I can't smell things!
(
 
2
Aziraphale ignores the bones and instead walks back to the sinkhole. They don't matter. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
)
 
=
Gravy follows. ''(rolled 2 reality)'' It looks so... nice... A way home. A way out of this. A way to just go somewhere away from the crazy...
2
 
Radek: You tell me! I can't smell things!
RHU
Wen: uh oh
HEY!
Rhu: When some people start seeing bones that others can't see, always check for giant fish, that's my motto.
 
Frezak (GM):
AZIRAPHALE
rolling 1D20
I want to go in. I really want to go in. I think I should go in.
(
 
2
RHU
)
(jumping out of the car)
=
WAIT! COME BACK!
2
 
Apheori (GM): Azir: You ignore the bones and walk back to the sinkhole.
Aziraphale starts taking off the more unwieldy bits of his gear as he goes, and sits down at the edge, looking down.
Gravy follows. It looks so... nice...
 
A way home. A way out of this. A way to just go somewhere away from the crazy...
AZIRAPHALE
Rhu looks around, sees that everybody except Griebel is walking towards the hole
Yes. I think I should. Come, the rest of you, why don't you?
Rhu: HEY!
 
Aziraphale: I want to go in.
RADEK
I really want to go in.
(from the water's surface)
(To Wen): This is the point where you can dive in.
If that water made an axe disappear, I'd encourage you to think about what it'll do to you.
Aziraphale: I think I should go in.
 
Rhu: WAIT! COME BACK!
AZIRAPHALE
Rhu gets back into CAR
It looks so nice... peaceful. What can it do? I'm insane and seeing bones y'all can't see. We got jumped to another planet. Everyone on Sarathi is dead.
Ganelon: I can... try to stop him.
(he looks back at the others)
Aziraphale walks towards the hole while taking off the more unwieldy bits of his gear
Aziraphale sits down at the edge of the hole
Aziraphale looks down
Aziraphale: Yes. I think I should.
Come, the rest of you, why don't you?
Radek: If that water made an axe disappear, I'd encourage you to think about what it'll do to you.
Aziraphale: It looks so nice... peaceful.
What can it do? I'm insane and seeing bones y'all can't see. We got jumped to another planet. Everyone on Sarathi is dead.
Well... if you're not following...
Well... if you're not following...
Aziraphale edges forward and dives
 
Rhu mutters something under his breath
Aziraphale edges forward and dives in, hitting the water with a splash.
Apheori (GM): Azir hits the water with a splash.
 
There's a horrible sucking squelching noise.
Rhu mutters something under his breath.
Apheori (GM): The water level suddenly starts lowering until it all drains out the bottom... leaving a dry stone base a few hundred feet down.
 
Radek falls back to the end of the rope.
For a moment, nothing happens. Then there's a horrible sucking squelching noise, and the water level suddenly starts lowering until it all drains out the bottom... leaving a dry stone base a few hundred feet down.
 
There are some bits of metal and wood on the ground under the rift. And a feather.
 
No longer supported by the water, Radek falls back to the end of the rope.
 
Aziraphale is just... gone.
Aziraphale is just... gone.
Radek: I warned him.
 
Wen: I did take off my gear. So you have at least a spare sword and whatever other thingies.
RADEK
Rhu gasps, then quickly mumbles a prayer to Hazz'ridan
I warned him.
Gaurav: Ah, that's why you did that! If you've been trasnported somewhere, you're now without protection and weapons, though.
 
Apheori (GM): What sort of prayer?
Rhu gasps, then quickly mumbles a prayer to Hazz'ridan.
This might be important!
 
Wen: I'm not sure if this was where I got killed off. Up to the GM.
'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): Something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end.
Apheori (GM) smacks Wen.
 
Wen: ow.
Hazz'ridan blesses Rhu with his mind back, properly back, and suddenly everything becomes so much clearer. Before, it had only been mostly back. It had seemed back, but it wasn't, not really.
Frezak (GM): "Make sure that he cannot go anywhere and is stuck forever without progression?"
 
A god of Dead Ends isn't really gonna be too useful here >.>
Rhu realises he's surrounded by CRAZY EVERYWHERE. His companions are losing it. Reality itself is shifting around them. And within the sinkhole, the rift in reality is actually visible now, the source of all of this, the madness, the insanity.
Gaurav: It's a spur-of-the-moment prayer-of-protection thing, like you might teach a kid who's scared of the monsters under his bed
 
Frezak (GM): Oh, the Soldier's Prayer.
It's a strange little rippling thing in the air, not far from where Radek is hanging.
Gaurav: Rhu's just kind of panicking here
 
Wen: something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end
If you recognise the reference, I salute you.
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Gaurav: "Worshipful-Hazz'ridan-keeper-of-ends-guide-and-protect-me-until-the-end" kind of thing
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Hazz'ridan blesses you with your mind back.
Gaurav: My mind was ... not back?
Apheori (GM): It was only mostly back.
It seemed back, but it wasn't.
Ganelon: It always seems backer than it is.
Gaurav: Gan: hahaha
Apheori (GM): Now it's really back - like how it was bfor all it this started.
Gaurav: Aph: so what is new in my mind?
Apheori (GM): You're surrounded by CRAZY EVERYWHERE.
Also the hole is actually visible now.
Gaurav: HOLY CRAP
Wen: Ah, no wonder. I completely butchered the reference. But do carry on.
Apheori (GM): It's a strange little rippling thing in the air, not far from where Radek is hanging.
That's the real hole.
That's the real hole.
The rest just sort of... happened on top of it.
The rest just sort of... happened on top of it.
Rhu blinks
 
Rhu blinks.
 
Rhu blinks again. The hole is still there.
Rhu blinks again. The hole is still there.
Rhu goes down on one knee and prays to Hazz'ridan to reveal the truth to all his companions
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You feel a warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE/
Rhu goes down on one knee and prays to Hazz'ridan to reveal the truth to all his companions. Suddenly he feels the warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
.
 
Rhu: Mm, tentacular.
The Gravedigger stops heading for the hole.
Apheori (GM): You're not really sure what to make of this.
 
Gaurav: After everything that's happened in the last few days, Rhu is perfectly happy to take warmth and love where he can.
The seagulls start dancing.
Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek sees it too: a shimmering rift in space.
 
Gaurav: Plus, clearly, something deep and religiously meaningful is going on. Rhu didn't believe in an active god who does more than work through his servants, but ... he's starting to now.
Radek, hanging next to the rift, suddenly sees it too, and gives it a good look-over. ''(rolled 13 arcana)''
Radek: Hmph.
 
Rhu: Not sure if his prayer worked, Rhu describes what he can see to his companions. He leaves out the bit about the tentacles, though.
RADEK
Radek: Now this is more like it.
Hmph.
Ganelon: May I inspect this rift, magically?
Now this is more like it.
Apheori (GM): Gravy would see it if he actually looked. I dunno what he's up to.
 
You totally can.
RHU
Ganelon:
(he points)
rolling 1d20+10
That's it. That's the hole. Shimmering. There.
(
 
3
Rhu decidedly doesn't mention the bit about the tentacles.
)
 
+10
RADEK
=
This, my... companions, is a rift in space.
13
 
Nnooooo
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Also the seagulls start dancing.
Great.
Frezak (GM): I don't know what I'm up to either.
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: It seems to be a... rift in space!
RADEK
Radek: This, my... companions, is a rift in space.
That's all I can tell you about it.
The Gravedigger: Great.
 
Radek: That's all I can tell you about it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: So it's a hole, like the willagers said.
So it's a hole, like the willagers said.
Rhu: Well, we found it. At terrible cost, but we found it.
 
The Gravedigger: Azi might be haging around naked on the other side.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Did he leave his radio?
Well, we found it. At terrible cost, but we found it.
Rhu: Oooh, perhaps.
 
Apheori (GM): Yes. >.<
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Bleh.
Azi might be hanging around naked on the other side.
So what now?
 
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan to keep Azir safe. He's really getting into this praying lark.
RHU
Rhu: Let's maybe send a single bird through THIS rift and hope that it doesn't take Griebel out again?
Oooh, perhaps.
Apheori (GM): Considering Griebel is still out...
 
You could totally grab a bird and chuck it through.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan to keep Azir safe.
Frezak (GM): I tihnk a bird is probably already through.
 
Since I don't think we've seen the missing one?
Radek notices some of his coating is starting to seep into the rope. He quickly unties himself and drops to the bottom of the sinkhole, under the rift itself. The air there is oddly charged, as though full of static.
Ganelon: Would that be like tearing pieces of his consciousness off and throwing them into another dimension?
 
Apheori (GM): Quite possibly.
The bits on the ground turn out to be some shredded twigs and stuff. The metal is just as shredded.
Ganelon: I mean, I'm not too clear on how swarms of animals... work.
 
Apheori (GM): Granny Weatherwax did it.
There's a bit of a confusion as the others have a go at first getting down a rope long enough, and then hauling Radek entirely out of the sinkhole, with, naturally, no actual help from Radek himself.
Sort of.
 
Frezak (GM): Well in D&D swarms can't normally split off bits.
Once out, Radek hands over the random bits to the Gravedigger, who looks them over. ''(rolled 21 nature)''
Unless it's a result of damage or something.
 
Apheori (GM): Everyone: Roll perception.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu:
This was my axe. I don't think that Azi is alive.
rolling d20+11 perception chek
 
(
RHU
7
If Azir is dead, we can ressurrect him from any fragment of his body, if one of those bits are fragments from his body.
)
+11
=
18
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+7
(
8
)
+7
=
15
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
10
)
+8
=
18
Ganelon: Er, +1 again.
Rhu: everybody gets +1 if they're within 5 squares of me because of "Group Awareness"
Frezak (GM): Dammit.
19 for me then.
Apheori (GM): Gan: You notice some bits of metal and wood by the rift.
And a feather.
Gaurav: Haha
Apheori (GM): It's windy. And dry.
Some of Radek's coating is starting to seep into the rope.
Ganelon: Oh hell no.
I remove myself from the rope's proximity at once.
And if I can reach those bits safely, I'll head over to look at them.
Apheori (GM): So Radek drops to the ground by the rift. It's oddly charged near it, sort of like static.
The bits appear to be the remains of some shredded twigs and stuff.
Well, the wood, anyway. The metal is less clear.
It's mostly wood, though.
Ganelon: I'll take some back. Whatever's convenient to carry.
Apheori (GM): Some bits of wood and most of the metal, then.
Ganelon: Yeah.
Frezak (GM): I want to examine the metal.
See if it's future-quality.
Apheori (GM): Roll a thingy.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
13
)
+8
=
21
Apheori (GM): It seems to be, yes...
Then you realise it used to be your axe.
Rhu stays the heck away from the mysteriously draining pool and the magical whatsits, but walks up to the edge so he can better hear what the brains of the group make of it.
The Gravedigger: That was my axe.
I don't think that Azi is alive.
Rhu: If Azir is dead, we can ressurrect him from any fragment of his body, if one of those bits are fragments from his body.
If he has been teleported elsehwere or something, then no.
If he has been teleported elsehwere or something, then no.
Frezak (GM): Do any of the bits look meaty?
 
Radek: Do you see any of his parts laying around?
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): I heard this on the Penny Arcade D&D game, so I don't know how true it is.
Gaurav: I heard this on the Penny Arcade D&D game, so I don't know how true it is.
 
Apheori (GM): No parts lying around.
RADEK
Except a feather.
Do you see any of his parts laying around?
...probably not Azir's.
 
Gaurav: haha
Rhu looks around and notices that the smaller tree on the larger, dead tree is glowing. It looks like druid magic.
Frezak (GM): This is no pit of acid.
 
Ganelon: It's true.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Only one thing to do.
Oh, maybe some of those squiggles meant 'the tree that glows'. The water glowed too. Maybe it was also part of some kind of protection system?
Loot Azir's stuff.
In which case, is anybody nervous that we seem to be turning all the protection systems off? Shouldn't we investigate this rift? It might have something to do with Sarathi. Reality breaking down and all that. Although to be honest, this rift is much better behaved than Sarathi was.
Ganelon: Yeah, I guess so.
 
Wen: Sword, knives, coin
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu looks for his religious implement -- maybe I can return it to his order, or talk to one of Hazz'ridan's priests about getting it to someone who needs it.
What can we do with this? I've no idea.
Wen: sarathi communicator
 
Rhu: his -> Azir's
RHU
Frezak (GM): Load everything into the car.
Poke it with a stick? See if it destroys the stick, anyhow.
Wen: ... not sure about other stuff. General armour headgear and crap.
 
Frezak (GM): Actually.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Is there any water left?
Well it fucked up my axe. You try something.
Apheori (GM): You mean one of Carriya's priests?
 
Frezak (GM): We can always trade plate armour.
That shit's expensive.
Ganelon: We most certainly can.
Frezak (GM): especially future-forged plate.
Apheori (GM): All of the water is gone.
Well, you may have some with you.
But the sinkhole water is gone.
Frezak (GM): I mean specifically the hole water.
Apheori (GM): Ah.
Frezak (GM): I was gonna soak something in it and throw it trhough the portal to see if it would emerge unshredded.
On the off-chance that the water would had protected Azi.
But, eh.
Take his shit and bugger off.
Unless anyone has any ideas what to do here.
Gaurav: Good thinking.
Rhu looks up to see if the little tree is still glowing.
Ganelon: No ideas remain.
Apheori (GM): The tree looks like a tree, not really glowing now, but protected by magic. Normal magic. Druid magic.
Rhu: Huh.
Frezak (GM): Protected by Greibel magic or some other druid's magic?
Apheori (GM): Some other druid. Greibel is a flock of lethargic gulls.
Frezak (GM): oh.
Well that explains the warning.
Rhu: Dancing, lethargic gulls? Or have they stopped dancing?
Apheori (GM): The stopped dancing.
y
Frezak (GM): How long does your language ritual last, Gan?
Gaurav: What warning? The tree with "guard" written on it?
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
I'm guessing the tree is a meant to knock out people that try to get near the hole.
It's stopping people from getting shredded, or something.
Rhu: Strange place to put it, then. And the sign could have been clearer about which tree. We are in the middle of a forest.
Oh, maybe some of those squiggles meant "the tree that glows"
the water glowed too. Maybe it was also part of some kind of protection system?
In which case, is anybody nervous that we seem to be turning all the protection systems off?
Ganelon: A day, Frezak.
Frezak (GM): Well we could poke around and look for a druid.
And there was that shiny crap near the mutant bird.
Rhu looks up at the sky to estimate what the time of day might be.
Apheori (GM): It's around midday.
This feels wrong, somehow.
Rhu: The time feels wrong?
Apheori (GM): It should be later. Wasn't it around midday when you got here? You're not really sure.
Frezak (GM): It was?
I thought it was a few minutes trip.
Apheori (GM): You dallies around a bit. It may not have been.
Dallied.
Before going.
It seems right to Gravy, then.
But Gravy ain't Rhu.
Frezak (GM): Eh.
At this point anything that feels wrong is probably right.
Ganelon: Everything is quite wrong.
Frezak (GM): So, what now?
Ganelon: Dunno! To the town?
Gaurav: I thought we left the inn at dawn, hung out with the villagers for 30 mins, and then took no more than an hour to get here. So midday sounds about right to me, too.
Rhu: I would agree with going to town, but ... since we're here, shouldn't we investigate this rift? It might have something to do with Sarathi. Reality breaking down and all that. Although to be honest, this rift is much better behaved than Sarathi was.
The Gravedigger: What can we do with this?
I've no idea.
Rhu: Poke it with a stick? See if it destroys the stick, any how.
The Gravedigger: Well it fucked up my axe.
You try something.
Apheori (GM): I bet Radek has even fancier ideas.
Ganelon: Distracted. One sec.
Rhu: I'm going to throw stones at it.
Rhu throws stones at the rift.
Rhu throws stones at the rift.
Ganelon: As a player I actually haven't got many.
 
I don't have a ritual for this.
The first couple are shredded. Another bounces off. One of them just sort of disappears.
Apheori (GM): The first couple are shredded. Another bounces off. One of them just sort of disappears.
 
You could throw magic dust at it or something.
...I dunno.
Ganelon: Magic dust is crazy valuable.
I can't get it just anywhere.
Apheori (GM): I mean you have other things that might react differently, or specially, or something.
Ganelon: Hm.
Apheori (GM): You could totally establish a spectrum of reagents and then perform a binary search on the effects to discern a... thingy.
Thing.
Apheori (GM) babbles.
Ganelon: Hm.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan for wisdom in dealing correctly with this dangerous rift.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan for wisdom in dealing correctly with this dangerous rift.
Ganelon: I will use... my daily.
 
Frezak (GM): The eyebot?
He gets a gist of a response: The rift is a dead end. This is a world of dead ends, with ends getting ever deader as time goes on. Hazz'ridan should be pleased, but he is not, for they are not his dead ends. They are something else entirely, and this is very, very bad. They need to get to the bottom of it, because the other gods seem inclined to utterly ignore it, and Rhu is the first mortal of his to have even gone near it. And survived.
Apheori (GM): Daily?
 
Rhu: Here's what I have: an old journal (which maybe Radek can read now that our minds have been restored), a ceramic tile from the village roof, a half-digested light fixture
Radek summons his eyebot and flies it down into the sinkhole, and then tries to send it into the rift.
and a string of beads left on my car seat this morning
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Dammit, why could you not have been a cleric?
The first time, it just bounces off and tumbles to the ground. ''(rolled 1 reality)'' It still seems to be intact, however, and Radek gets it back into the air a moment later.
Rhu: Because we already had a leader
 
Ganelon: Okay.
RHU
Rhu examines the string of beads closely.
Oh phew. Try again?
Ganelon: This is the Punishing Eye.
 
In combat, it is a robot that flies around and zaps enemies when you guys attack them.
The second time, it goes in without issue. ''(rolled 12 reality)''
I will use it as a camera.
 
Rhu:
Through the eyebot, Radek observes a horrible darkness. It is surrounded by horrible darkness, floating in horrible.
rolling 1d20+7 religion check to see if the beads have any religious significance
 
(
It flies around the horrible, encountering more horrible darkness.
3
 
)
+7
=
10
Ganelon: May I do this?
Gaurav: To be fair, there isn't a *whole* lot a cleric can do on paper than I can't do. Our main power is abjure undead.
Frezak (GM): Clerics heal, Avengers smite, basically.
Gaurav: I think the DM is hinting that we should be trying the things we have. The eye might just get disintegrated like me stones.
Frezak (GM): Flavour-wise, they're both holy guys that do shit for thier god.
Gaurav: Yes, but religiously. I have a +7 religion check; a cleric might be a bit higher, but not a _huge_ difference.
Ganelon: Well, my other option is basically to attack it with arcane magic.
Frezak (GM): Actually, no.
The Cleric in my game has very low religion, since it's an Int skill.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The rift is a dead end. This is a world of dead ends, with ends getting ever deader as time goes on. Hazz'ridan should be pleased, but he is not, for they are not his dead ends. They are something else entirely, and this is very, very bad. You should get to the bottom of it, because the other gods seem inclined to utterly ignore it and you're the first mortal of his to have even gone near it.
Ganelon: Yeah, but she's also kinda just winging it.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The beads might hold such significance. You're not sure, but there is a bit of magic about them. It could be divine.
Gan: You can totally do the eye thing. What happens if it gets wrecked, though?
Frezak (GM): But generally clerics don't have more than 12 Int.
He has infinite eyes.
He can just make another over the course of the day.
Ganelon: I can rebuild it, but tomorrow.
Apheori (GM): Excellent for him.
Okay.
Ganelon: It sees nothing after entering the rift?
Frezak (GM): WILBUR
GO FORTH
Apheori (GM): Did you do that?
Gaurav: Ah, true.
hahaha
Apheori (GM): Roll a thing first if it even gets into the rift. >.<
Sorry.
Ganelon: A d20?
Apheori (GM): Sure, I dunno.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Pfft.
Apheori (GM): It bounces off.
GOOD JOB.
Rhu: Oh phew.
Ganelon: Can I... recover it?
Rhu: Try again?
Apheori (GM): Can those things survive hitting the ground? Because if so, why not.
Frezak (GM): There are rules for the.. resistance of Constructs.
it's tough.
It can take a couple of lasers or fireballs.
Apheori (GM): Give it another go, then.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Apheori (GM): IT GOES IN.
Ganelon: The daily aspect of this thing assumes it's run out of power after shooting lasers at things for an entire fight.
So it's pretty sturdy but runs out of... I guess some kind of magical battery quite fast.
The entire thing is far from irreplaceable, though.
Apheori (GM): How does it see?
Rhu: Woo!
Ganelon: I'd like to say, through a camera.
I mean, the game only cares about how it fights, and it operates independent of me controlling it there.
Apheori (GM): What kind of camera?
Okay, so it flies in and is sort of surrounded by horrible darkness. It's horrible, right?
It's just floating in horrible.
Ganelon: A... magical one? Lenses and all that, certainly, but it has to "think" for itself.
Apheori (GM): It flies around the horrible, encountering more horrible darkness.
Ganelon: And that part is most definitely magical.
Apheori (GM): I assume it's reporting back to you somehow?
Ganelon: Yeah.
So if that connection remains unbroken, I would experience the horrible.
Frezak (GM): Great.
Apheori (GM): Neat.
It bounces off something.
It bounces off something.
Then there's light everywhere and it's tumbling through the light.
 
It's on a beach.
Then there's light everywhere and it's tumbling through the light. It's flying over a beach now. Sand. Sea. Palm trees.
Sand. Sea. Palm trees.
 
Ganelon: Any signs of our poor paladin?
A pile of dead spikey sea creatures nearby.
Apheori (GM): Pile of dead spikey sea creatures nearby.
 
Rhu: Any ... giant fish?
No sign of the paladin.
Apheori (GM): Tracks belonging to... well, you have no idea, but they ain't his.
 
No giant fish..
Tracks in the sand, belonging to some alien creature.
Radek: Fascinating. Also, horrible.
 
But it does seem that some manner of stable environment exists on the other side of this rift.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Also the palm trees are dead.
Fascinating. Also, horrible.
Like they were just dried out suddenly.
But it does seem that some manner of stable environment exists on the other side of this rift. It's in no better shape.
So it wasn't immediately apparent.
 
Radek: It's in no better shape.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Not much use unless you have idea how to get trhough safely.
Not much use unless you have idea how to get trhough safely. Since being shredded is still possible.
Since being shredded is still possible.
And I don't want to be shredded.
Apheori (GM): The rift on this side is enormous.
 
The Gravedigger: And I don't want to be shredded.
Getting closer, it seems the palm trees are dead, like they were just dried out suddenly. And the rift on this side is enormous. It stretches across the beach, into the waves, which just sort of slice around it, and up the sky and overhead.
Radek: ...Oh my.
 
We're looking at a much larger hole on the other side.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): It stretches across the beach, into the waves, which just sort of slice around it, and up the sky and overhead.
...Oh my. We're looking at a much larger hole on the other side.
The light is darker than it should be , and getting darker, shifting to purple...
 
Reality folds in on itself.
The light over the beach is darker than it should be, and getting darker, shifting to purple...
Ganelon: ...Communications cut?
 
Gaurav: Reality on that side or this side?
Around the eyebot, reality folds in on itself.
Ganelon: I should sincerely hope that one.
 
Apheori (GM): That side.
Everything goes dark, but the connection remains. The eyebot is still there. Somewhere.
And, well, everything is dark. But you think it's still there. Somewhere.
 
Gaurav: Phew.
RADEK
Radek: We... are going to want to close this.
We... are going to want to close this. And I'm going to need a new robot.
And I'm going to need a new robot.
 
(To Rhu): You definitely want to close this. You god has very nearly commanded it. Or as close as he ever gets to commanding anything.
RHU
Apheori (GM): The darkness this time is different from the previous one.
Hazz'ridan would see a dead end here where the roads cut across space and time. We must close this. He wills it.
It appears to just be a dark... room?
 
Gaurav: Hazz'ridan would see a dead end here where the roads cut across space and time. We must close this.
This new darkness seems to be different from the previous one. The eyebot's sensors indicate it to just be some sort of dark room.
Ganelon: Hm.
 
Gaurav: Er, that was supposed to be Rhu, sorry.
Radek has the eyebot shoot its laser, illuminating what turns out to be a large cavern, full of stalagtagamiteses. There's no visible rift here, but the space around seems to ripple in shimmer in the light before it goes out.
Ganelon: I'll have it shoot the laser. That ought to produce light.
 
Rhu: He wills it.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The laser reveals it to be a large cave, full of stalagtagamiteses.
First a beach, now a cave...
...you know what I mean.
 
Ganelon: I do.
Radek flies the eyebot about through the cavern, mapping out a portion. As it moves, it encounters pockets of more and less resistance; The air is funny, but also the space is funny.
Radek: First a beach, now a cave...
 
Apheori (GM): There's no visible rift here, but the space around seems to ripple in shimmer in the light before it goes out.
Ganelon: Well, it can't exactly power the weapon for long enough to really get anywhere as a source of light.
Apheori (GM): Does it move?
Ganelon: I suppose, while it's still active.
Apheori (GM): As it moves it encounters pockets of more and less resistance. The air is funny, but also the space is funny.
Then it passes through a thinner patch and it's somewhere else once again.
Then it passes through a thinner patch and it's somewhere else once again.
This looks like Sarathi. Same style of architecture, same sort of technology, at least. It's in a building, in an open area full of tables and rubble and sunlight.
 
Some overgrown plants reach toward the openings in the walls and ceiling.
This looks like Sarathi. Same style of architecture, same sort of technology, at least. It's in a building, in an open area full of tables and rubble and sunlight. Some overgrown plants reach toward the openings in the walls and ceiling.
 
The connection, however, is getting tenuous at best, as though it has been getting further and further away with each passage...
The connection, however, is getting tenuous at best, as though it has been getting further and further away with each passage...
Ganelon: Let's see if it can get outside and take a look at the sky.
 
Before we lose it.
Radek flies the eyebot toward one of the cracks in the building wall, revealing a vista that very definitely is Sarathi. This city, however, it utterly demolished. Few buildings remain past their foundations, as though they had collapsed after a a great battle.
Apheori (GM): It heads out one of the holes in the wall, revealing a vista that very definitely is Sarathi. This city, however, it utterly demolished. Few buildings remain past their foundations, as though they had collapsed after a a great battle.
 
The sky, however, is ordinary enough. A bit of a smoky haze lies around the horizons. Billowy clouds drift overhead.
The sky, however, is ordinary enough. A bit of a smoky haze lies around the horizons. Billowy clouds drift overhead. Three moons are also visible, though the Sarathi they'd gone to had only had two.
Three moons are also visible.
 
But didn't Sarathi only have two moons?
Then the connection goes out entirely.
Ganelon: Interesting.
 
Well, there's certainly nowhere for the thing to go.
RADEK
Gaurav: Look for more holes? It looks like there's a place -- the beach -- where all the holes intersect, and there's a little hole here and a big one (or many little ones?) on Sarathi but maybe the beach world is where we'll have to go to shut this whole thing down.
Blast.
Ganelon: If there's even anything left of it by the time we get there.
Well, it reached Sarathi, and the sky was much more agreeable this time. The place is utterly destroyed. Although, I wouldn't assume that it discovered the planet at the same 'present' we are enjoying right now.
Frezak (GM): I'm not going into any of those unless I'm sure i'm not going to end up as Purina Gravy.
 
Gaurav: We could close up this hole and then go look for Sarathi again, see if we can figure out how to close the hole situation there. It's a band-aid solution, but fixing all of space and time seems a bit beyond a bunch of level 1 adventurers anyway.
RHU
Ganelon: Well, we
Yes. I think we should try to close this hole now, then see if we can't find a city and report back to HQ on all this holes business.
Apheori (GM): Oh, that reminds me. You should all level up.
 
Ganelon: We've gotta KILL THINGS to level, usually
RADEK
Although solving mysteries is another way.
I don't think there ''is'' a city to find here. We should count ourselves lucky if this planet is simply underdeveloped, and not in the past itself.
Frezak (GM): The chickens were already dead.
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: You lose the connection entirely. The thing is gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: Blast.
Any of what you'd call technology on this world is not native.
Well, it reached Sarathi, and the sky was much more agreeable this time.
 
The place is utterly destroyed. Although, I wouldn't assume that it discovered the planet at the same "present" we are enjoying right now.
RHU
Rhu: Yes. I think we should try to close this hole now, then see if we can't find a city and report back to HQ on all this holes business.
Oh, right. The past.
Radek: I don't think there *is* a city to find here.
 
We should count ourselves lucky if this planet is simply underdeveloped, and not in the past itself.
There's a bit of a gurgling bubbling noise from the bottom of the sinkhole, and muddy water begins to seep back into it.
The Gravedigger: Any of what you'd call technology on this world is not native.
 
Rhu: Oh, right. The past.
Radek uses the ropes to take a sample of the water.
Apheori (GM): There's a bit of a gurgling bubbling noise.
 
Rhu looks around for the source of the noise
RHU
Apheori (GM): Water has started seeping back into the hole.
Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, is displeased by this state of affairs and would like us to close this hole. He would like this very, very much.
Ganelon: Huh.
 
I'll gladly take a sample of that.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: From where?
Well maybe he could tell us how. Else he can go bury himself.
Ganelon: I assume from below.
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah, you're like in the bottom of this deep hole basin thing.
RHU
It's seeping back out of the bottom.
I'll ask him.
Not very quickly, though.
 
But enough to be gurgly.
Frezak (GM): Is the water... weird at all?
Glowing?
Smell funny?
Apheori (GM): It's muddy. Looks normal.
Smells a bit like sulfur.
Sulphur in english?
Oh, whatever.
Frezak (GM): Did it smell like that before?
Apheori (GM): Not really.
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
Ganelon: Either form is acceptable.
I'll still take some just to be sure.
Gaurav: We don't know: Radek was the only one close enough to smell it, and he doesn't smell.
Frezak (GM): So we've learnt that the hole goes somewhere else.
That there are holes of different sizes. Possibly interconnected.
Rhu: Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, is displeased by this state of affairs and would like us to close this hole. He would like this very, very much.
The Gravedigger: Well maybe he could tell us how.
Else he can go bury himself.
Rhu: I'll ask him.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan, maker of ends, for wisdom in the ways of closing rifts in space and time.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan, maker of ends, for wisdom in the ways of closing rifts in space and time.
Apheori (GM): Hazz'ridan says he has no fucking idea and frankly this is the first time anyone has even gotten this far with the whole mess.
 
Radek: I couldn't care less what your god would like us to do, but in the interests of my own survival, I'm closing this hole.
HAZZ'RIDAN
Gaurav: Do I hear his hallowed voice in my head, or does everybody hear it bellow across the land?
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
Apheori (GM): In your head.
''I do not know. This is the first time anyone has ever gotten so far at all. Find out.''
Hazz'ridan also says you should try to find out.
 
Rhu: Hazz'ridan is alas unable to help us, but encourages us to find a way. He says nobody else has ever gotten this far to sorting this mess out so I guess we're ahead of the crowd there.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): And then maybe if you could be so good as to beat Kyrule over the head with it, everything can go back to fine and normal with good and proper dead ends like there are supposed to be.
I couldn't care less what your god would like us to do, but in the interests of my own survival, I'm closing this hole.
The Gravedigger: So your god is as clueless as us.
 
WHoop-dee-doo.
RHU
Rhu mutters "Amen." to Hazz'ridan under his breath.
Hazz'ridan is alas unable to help us, but encourages us to find a way. He says nobody else has ever gotten this far to sorting this mess out so I guess we're ahead of the crowd there.
Radek: So we need to do all the work ourselves. Nothing new there.
 
Apheori (GM): Where'd everyone go?
HAZZ'RIDAN
Ganelon: I didn't go anywhere.
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
Apheori (GM): It says you did. o_O
''And then maybe if you could be so good as to beat Kyrule over the head with it, everything can go back to fine and normal with good and proper dead ends like there are supposed to be.''
Ghuh. Is Gaurav still here too?
 
Okay.
RHU
Gaurav: Yup!
(muttering)
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Amen.
Rhu: But seriously, get to the bottom of it, he says. It spans worlds, universes, that were never meant to be connected. You have been pulled from your own and that you wound up here is a greater blessing than you could have imagined. You are not alone here, and this shall not be your dead end.
 
HE'S HELPED YOU NOW.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM) glares at the app thingy.
So your god is as clueless as us. WHoop-dee-doo.
The Gravedigger: Well do you have any idea HOW to close it, Radek?
 
Rhu repeats this to the group
RADEK
Radek: None. Dealing in spatial instabilities is a hobby of mine at best.
So we need to do all the work ourselves. Nothing new there.
Apheori (GM): Also you
 
're standing in a layer of water now.
HAZZ'RIDAN
Maybe ankle deep.
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
Rhu walks out of the hole
''Get to the bottom of this. It spans worlds, universes, that were never meant to be connected. You have been pulled from your own, and that you wound up here is a greater blessing than you could have imagined. You are not alone here, and this shall not be your dead end.''
Apheori (GM): You need to get into the car.
 
Rhu gets into the car.
Rhu repeats this to the group. They basically ignore him.
Rhu: Amadi seemed to know a thing or two. I wonder if we could get her back somehow. Maybe if we could figure out where Midnight was.
 
Or when.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu gets into the driving seat.
Well do you have any idea '''how''' to close it, Radek?
Frezak (GM): I'll get back into the car too.
 
Ganelon: Ditto.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The seagulls are asleep, wrapped in porridge.
None. Dealing in spatial instabilities is a hobby of mine at best.
Radek: Well, she didn't show up while I was working.
 
Apheori (GM): According to the mechanics, what happens to Greibel's stuff when he's seagulls?
RHU
Rhu: Aw. Porridge gulls.
Amadi seemed to know a thing or two. I wonder if we could get her back somehow. Maybe if we could figure out where Midnight was. Or when.
Ganelon: It becomes a part of his form.
 
Apheori (GM): Ah.
RADEK
Ganelon: Armor still protects him but not shields. It's... weird.
Well, she didn't show up while I was working.
Apheori (GM): Huh.
 
Frezak (GM): he drops handheld items that are not Implements.
In the sinkhole, the water level is still rising, but as it approaches the level of the rift, the rift seems to be trying to twist away from the surface. Like it doesn't like it.
So anything that's not a staff or Totem for him.
 
Ganelon: I can see why they did it, because otherwise you'd have no end of trouble picking up all your junk every single fight, but still.
RHU
Apheori (GM): So potentially there's a bong and crap under the pile of porridge-wrapped gulls?
So the rift was covered in water it dislikes and with a tree overhead to 'guard' it or something. But it didn't work, because this planet has had a bad time of it. So maybe us uncovering it made it worse? Maybe together they can't be destroyed but once the rift is unprotected it can be? So many questions.
Or is a bong an implement?
Gaurav: It should be for him, I think :)
Frezak (GM): He probably does have Bong Proficiency.
Ganelon: Yeah. Bong Expertise even, I dare say.
But maybe not Bong Focus
Apheori (GM): Okay, then.
Everyone roll perception.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
11
)
+8
=
19
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+7+1
(
15
)
+7+1
=
23
Frezak (GM): DAMMIT ANother +1 >.>
Apheori (GM): For some reason the rift seems to be trying to twist away from the water. Like it doesn't like it.
Gaurav:
rolling d20+11 perception check
(
8
)
+11
=
19
Apheori (GM): You guys noticed this.
GOOD JOB.
Ganelon: I have some of this water, yeah?
Frezak (GM): Feels great to have a perception skill for once.
Apheori (GM): Yes you do.
Ganelon: Alright. I'm not throwing it away or anything.
Just making sure.
Frezak (GM): Soak a gull in water and throw it in.
Rhu: Huh. Is the rift low enough that it would have been under water when we got here?
Apheori (GM): It was definitely under water when you got here.
It's near the bottom of the hole.
Frezak: Do you do that?
Frezak (GM): Not if peeps tell me not to.
Rhu: If we just stand back and do nothing, the water is going to cover it in a bit anyway.
And we don't have to sacrifice part of Greibel's soul
Frezak (GM): SO how do we close it?
I'll fill a bottle with this water and fling it into the portal.
Rhu: So: the rift was covered in water it dislikes and with a tree overhead to "guard" it or something. But it didn't work, because this planet has had a bad time of it. So: maybe us uncovering it made it worse? Maybe together they can't be destroyed but once the rift is unprotected it can be? So many questions.
We could go back to the village and try to find someone who understands this better than us.
We could go back to the village and try to find someone who understands this better than us.
Radek: It's as good a place to start as any.
 
Apheori (GM): The bottle bounces off and lands in the rest of the water.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
It's as good a place to start as any.
I'll get the bottle back.
 
Grab one of the bits of wood. Get that nice and wet.
They all pile back into the car.
And toss THAT in.
 
Gaurav: The DM also suggested earlier that we might already have something that affects the rift in some way. Should we try those before we leave?
The Gravedigger grabs a piece of wood and tosses it at the rift. It bounces off.
Apheori (GM): It goes in.
 
Frezak (GM): Dammit;
The Gravedigger grabs another piece of wood, dunks it in Radek's water sample, and then tosses it at the rift as well. It goes in.
I forgot that sometimes things go in and sometimes they don't, regardles off what they are.
 
Ganelon: Things I have:
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Dammit. I forgot that sometimes things go in and sometimes they don't, regardles off what they are.
Rhu: Maybe they go in if they're wetted with this watery thing?
 
- A half digested light fixture (see "Rhu pockets the light fixture." in log)
The water continues to rise and finally hits the rift regardless of its vague attempts to avoid it. The rippling effect spreads through the water, filling it with odd shards of wrongness, as though the water itself took on the properties of the rift.
- An old journal from the better reality
 
- A ceramic shingle from the Communist village
Radek, clearly interested in this change, takes another water sample, though as it's detached from the rest it goes back to looking the same as ever.
- A string of beads left for us on the driving seat of CAR
 
Hey, Radek, do you want to try reading the journal again, now that Hazz'ridan has cleared our minds and allowed us to see the rift?
As the rift is covered entirely, they feel it calling to them again, the same pull of the hole as they'd felt earlier, getting stronger the more it fills. This time it isn't overpowering, however, and isn't compelling anyone to actually do anything.
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
 
Ganelon: - Bombs
- Vials of Alchemist's Fire
- Magic Dust
- Bodily Fluids of a Small Dragon
Frezak (GM): I have... Booze?
Names, is my Booze Shalott or just booze?
Ganelon: I consider all of those things valuable, so I don't want to just go tossing them into a hole-of-no-return all willy-nilly.
Apheori (GM): The water continues to rise, and as someone predicted, finally hits the rift regardless of its vague attempts to avoid it.
The rippling effect spreads through the water, filling it with odd shards of wrongness, as though the water itself took on the properties of the rift.
Ganelon: And I guess I'll take a look at the journal, but I predict zero odds of success.
Ooh, interesting. I want some of that too.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Your booze is magic potions you haven't identifies.
And there's the shalott that went bad, but I dunno who had that.
Ganelon: I told someone to take the bottle.
Apheori (GM): You set aside the journal and get a sample of the weird water, though as it's detached from the rest it goes back to looking the same as ever. This may or may not mean anything.
Ganelon: It means the world to me.
As in "the world is doomed, oh gods".
Rhu: This world seems to be doing okay for now. But whether that's because of the water or inspite of the water remains to be seen.
The Gravedigger: We'd need to check out another hole.
Rhu: Ooooh. I like this plan.
The other idea I had was that we could bust up that glowing tree up there and see if anybody comes to fix it.
Apheori (GM): At some point in all of this Rhu flew y'all out of the hole.
I need you all to roll d20s.
Radek: What is the tree doing?
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Rhu: uh oh
rolling d20
(
7
)
=
7
Ganelon: I'm really not doing great with these.
Gaurav: Gan: you just flew a robot through a rift into probably two separate alternate universes and tied us back into our starting storyline. I think you're allowed a couple of lousy rolls.
The Gravedigger:
rolling 1D20
(
6
)
=
6
Ganelon: Good point.
I love that little robot.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so y'all feel the hole calling to you again, and getting stronger the more it fills.
The water is full of shimmers.
The water is full of shimmers.
But it's not overpowering, and not compelling you to actually do anything.
 
You just feel it and recognise it.
RHU
Rhu: We should maybe get out of here.
We should maybe get out of here. Before it gets any stronger.
Apheori (GM): Although I must say, this could have been really, really bad.
 
Rhu: Before it gets any stronger.
RADEK
Radek: Please do.
Please do.
Gaurav: What could?
 
Apheori (GM): THIS.
Without further ado, they turn the car toward the village and head back.
Apheori (GM) cackles.
 
Rhu takes us 20ft into the air and drives us in the direction of the village.
 
Gaurav: This roll? This tree? This rift?
EXT. Car over open wilderness - afternoon
This CAR?
 
Apheori (GM): The situation.
They fly around a bit, checking out the area. A big dry river over there. Some mountains in the distance which look like they might have some real life on them. A whole lot of desert in the other direction.
Nevermind.
 
You see that weird bird with its sparkly things again.
Some deer-like things further off.
Frezak (GM): Shoot the bird.
 
Ganelon: I totally could, but why?
A general agreement to maybe hunt the things is established, and they head in that direction.
Frezak (GM): So we can take it's stuff.
 
Might be money or gear.
When they get in range, Radek takes aim with his rifle.
Apheori (GM): Also it's mutated.
 
And like really big.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): AND I WANT TO KILL THINGS.
Intact body, right?
How big?
 
Apheori (GM): Uh...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: We have gone awfully long time without attacking anything :-/
Yeah. You can pop the head or bleed it out, though.
Apheori (GM): Maybe a few meters.
 
Gaurav: ...
Radek fires and misses. ''(rolled 12 vs AC)''
I'm sure we could go back to the village and hunt like wild boar or something
 
Apheori (GM): Actually I don't know.
They get a little closer, and the Gravedigger throws a grappling hook and rope at a running deerthing below them. It tangles around the deerthing's legs, and the deerthing is pulled into the air below them. ''(rolled 20 vs AC)''
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty sure that was not mentioned the first time we saw it.
 
Apheori (GM): I can't remember.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty sure I would not suggest attacking a bird that's bigger than I am.
Showoff.
Gaurav: The log says: "It's very large, missing a bunch of feathers, and has too many limbs."
 
Apheori (GM): Okay, it's probably not that big, but it does... look big.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): FINE.
YEEEE-HAAAWWWW.
We'll leave it alone >.>
Pull up!
Apheori (GM): You're no fun.
 
Gaurav: Is it near its nest? I think we saw its nest last time?
Rhu does so, and the deerthing swings about chaotically below them, making funny noises.
Apheori (GM): It's sitting on a pile of shiny things.
 
...yes.
The Gravedigger hauls the thing up a bit and then unexpectedly winds up with a pile of thrashing deerthing in his lap when one of the swings takes it over the side of the car.
Rhu: Hmm. Last time, we suggested that Griebel turn into a flock of birds and distract it while we value it's nest. We could try that again.
 
Gaurav: I believe Frezak's exact words were "A flock of sexy mutant birds", so there's that.
The Gravedigger headbutts it to death.
Ganelon: Hm...
 
Apheori (GM): Unfortunately Greibel still seems to be out of it.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Those guys probably think that headbutting how hunters used to do it in the olden days. "It's an ancient, accredited technique. Shut up."
Ganelon: Yeah, it'd be nice if BSG were actually here.
 
Apheori (GM): Yes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Instead you have a pile of gently swaying seagulls in the back seat.
Now, a spot to gut and clean this. Any rivers?
Gaurav: o.0
 
Apheori (GM): And no use for them.
They fly on, but all the rivers nearby seem to be dry. So they follow pick one and follow the riverbed for a time. It passes through plains and desert, the land randomly switching between the two.
Frezak (GM): Would be nice to have an Azi >.>
 
TO kill things.
Later, they come to something of a canyon, dry but deep. Then the river passes underground for a time, and they fly over a ridge, and further down is more canyon. Here, there is some water in it. A trickle.
So... Back to the willage, then.
 
Unless we want to just recon the area.
Later still, the river gets bigger, mountains sort of rise around it, it goes through some hills, snakes around some much greener area, and gets a whole lot larger very, very suddenly, with tributaries and everything.
Gaurav: Yeah, why not.
 
Ganelon: To what, returning or recon?
It seems to head over mountains in the distance, and beyond, perhaps to the coast, but for now they head down to park.
I will shoot this bird if that's what you guys want.
 
Gaurav: Reconning. We have a car. At the village we're just going to tell tall tales of our adventures and get some sleep.
 
Frezak (GM): I don't think firing at a meter or two long bird is a good idea.
EXT. Deslan riverside - evening
Sleep?
 
It's just afternoon, no?
The party gets out by the river and sets up to roast the deer. The Gravedigger carries a tree over to the camp before setting down to clean the carcass while Rhu builds up a fire. Radek goes through his things and does some miscellaneous science in the meantime.
Apheori (GM): Right.
 
Gaurav: We could just drive around and see if we spot anything. I assume that we've now driven around this area enough that we're unlikely to get lost.
Greibel is still seagulls and sitting in the car like a flock of disoriented, bemused seagulls somehow attached to a car.
Frezak (GM): Getting lost from the air is tough.
 
Gaurav: Also true.
Once everything is cleaned up and the fire good and low, the Gravedigger starts off by roasting some legs and passes hunks of the result around while the rest burns down for the villagers.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, let's just get an idea of what's where and see if we can spot any landmarks or stuff that might be interesting.
 
Gaurav: Let's do it.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I don't suppose I could just consume its soul, huh? But, you know, not to be evil or anything. It's just easier to eat that way.
Ganelon: Okay.
 
Apheori (GM): YOU RECONOTATIFICISE!
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Waste no part of the animal and all, y'know. Yeah, you've got the meat, bones, organs, and blood, but what about the life? That's where the old man comes in.
Rhu drives the car around the big tree in wide circles a couple of times, looking for anything interesting on the ground.
 
Rhu:
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): What would happen if you ate the soul of a creature without killing the body?
rolling d20+11 perception check
 
(
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): In D&D? You just get a... mindless person. An awake but not concious body.
11
 
)
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I guess it couldn't really feed itself, though.
+11
 
=
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Nope. It'd just stand there. Or sit. Or whatever position it was in when you sucked the soul out.
22
 
Apheori (GM): There's a big dry river over there. Some mountains in the distance which look like they might have some real life on them.
Radek takes his hunk and efficiently sucks out everything strictly beneficial about it and injects himself with that, leaving an awful, flavorless slab of dry meat behind.
There's a whole lot of desert in the other direction.
 
It's just dead and desolate and horrible and oh, look, dee-like things.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): It's how I'd eat if I were able.
deer
 
Ganelon: Does it count as poaching if those laws were invented in the future?
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): It probably looks... icky. Grey. Dry. DEAD. It's the corpse of food.
Rhu: are the deers several meters across? If not, we could hunt them.
 
Apheori (GM): You also see a lot of windmills around the village you'd been at before. Apparently they hadn't had the sails up at the time.
The Gravedigger eats a leg of deerthing.
They look like... deer-like things.
 
Frezak (GM): yeah, we can just drive and have Radek shoot 'em.
Rhu mimics the Gravedigger and tries to eat a leg of deerthing as well, but only gets through part of it.
Apheori (GM): Deer-sized, at least.
 
Rhu: It's only poaching if somebody already owns them. And it's only "getting caught for poaching" if you can't shoot your way out.
They wind up throwing bits of the rest of it at the Greibel seagulls, which, though they're not acting all that intelligent at the moment, do seem to be aware enough to eat at the bits.
Frezak (GM): We can kill it.
 
I'd have a good chance of telling whether it's edible.
RADEK
Ganelon: This would probably be fun if Radek weren't such a grump.
Do you suppose his core intelligence was destroyed and we're simply feeding the instinct-driven remains of his 'body'?
Air-car hunting.
 
Frezak (GM): And /I/ know how to prepare food that doesn't come out of a tube/box/machine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll make the yee-haw shouts as needed.
Or he could just be really stoned.
I need a hat.
 
Apheori (GM): You could put the journal on your head.
RHU
Rhu: NO! Who knows what deep secrets this journal may hide? We must treat it with respect.
I'm sure he'll be back. Once he remembers how.
Ganelon: I TAKE AIM
 
Radek: Intact body, right?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): This is your friendly nagging voice reminding you that my commendary is not necessarily worth commenting on. Also you might want to actually check those secrets at some point.
I've never paid much mind to druids. They're always going on about nature, like it holds secrets we haven't exhausted millennia ago.
ROLL AN ATTACK THINGY.
The Gravedigger: Yeah.
You can pop the head or bleed it out, though.
Frezak (GM): What DOES your gun fire?
Ganelon: I'll read the journal when I can recast this language ritual.
Frezak (GM): Was it bullets or laser?
Ganelon: I said as much when we first tried to read it.
It was bullets, because they're modular.
Ie: acid bullets, which I will not use on a deer.
Frezak (GM): Brill.
Apheori (GM): Roll or something.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
BAH
HUMBUG
Apheori (GM): You missed.
Ganelon: RELOAD.
Frezak (GM): I need spare axes.
Ganelon: I need loaded dice.
Frezak (GM): I have a grappling hook and rope.
Can i throw that?
Because that's the perfect flying car hunting weapon.
Apheori (GM): You totally can. XD
Frezak (GM): HERE GOES
rolling 1D20+4
(
16
)
+4
=
20
Ka-chung.
Hello, lunch.
Radek: Showoff.
The Gravedigger: YEEEE-HAAAWWWW
Rhu: :D
Apheori (GM): You wind up with a kicking, screaming dear on your lap.
Frezak (GM): Oh no.
It's hanging from the car.
The Gravedigger: Pull up!
Rhu pulls up
Apheori (GM): Oh, where's the fun in that?
Lap is where you want it.
Frezak (GM): I'll headbutt it to death then.
Apheori (GM): Like what happens when you hit one on the road and it comes in the windshield...
Snrk.
Okay, so Rhu pulls it up and Gravy headbutts it todeath.
Yeah, I can see this.
Frezak (GM): THose guys probably think that headbutting how hunters used to do it in the olden days :p
"It's an ancient, accredited technique. Shut up."
Apheori (GM): Yeah. So that happens.
Ganelon: We have a dead deer-like.
Apheori (GM): So you're in the car, sailing over the prairie, deer in your lap after headbutting it to death.
And a pile of seagulls in the back seat.
The Gravedigger: Now, a spot to gut and clean this.
Any rivers?
Apheori (GM): They all seem to be dry.
Gaurav: Somebody needs to make a postcard with that image. "Greetings from that place we went to after Sarathi!"
Ganelon: I can just imagine Radek looking really grumpy with his rifle over his shoulder.
And deer blood all over Gravy's grinning face.
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
Frezak (GM): Gravy's enjoying himself now.
No rivers?
Well, crud.
Gaurav: We do know a pool with water-like stuff in it. Probably best to take it back to the village, though. They'll have water. Somewhere.
Frezak (GM): Sure.
Gaurav: Unless you want to keep reconning
I guess there's enough place to put a deer in CAR?
Frezak (GM): We tie it to the front, of course.
Ganelon: Well, we're missing one paladin worth of space.
Gaurav: hah. this is true. someone give that deer a pair of dark glasses and lets keep exploring. I'd like to follow one of those dry river beds for a bit and see if we can find some outlet.
Frezak (GM): We could have it trail on a rope and tie one of the laser-proof capes to it.
Ganelon: Works for me.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, find out where the water is.
Apheori (GM): Which way do you head?
Rhu drives the car to the closest dry river bed, then follow it downhill.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You follow the riverbed through the plains and desert.
It sort of randomly switches between the two.
Then it gets like a canyon. Still dry, but deeper. Then it goes underground - you fly over a ridge and crap and find more canyon further down.
There some water in it.
A wee little trickle.
Apheori (GM): Keep following?
Rhu: Oooh!
Yes. I think we'll follow the river for maybe two hours? See where we get to? That should give us enough time to get back.
Frezak (GM): Sure.
We're in no rush, are we?
Maybe flyby the hole when we head back, in case Azi reappeared.
Else, yeah, just keep following this.
Ganelon: We still have plenty of time before I can no longer speak to those villagers.
We'd have to have stayed up throughout the entire night for that.
Rhu drives us on for two hours since we started following the river.
Apheori (GM): The river gets bigger, mountains sort of rise around it, it goes through some hills, snakes around some much greener area, and gets a whole lot larger very suddenly.
Rhu: Pretty! No water, though?
Apheori (GM): There's definitely water. There's a big old river, with tributaries and everything!
You haven't reached where it dumps, though, no.
Frezak (GM): Maybe stop for a bit now to make dinner?
Or lunch or whatever.
Apheori (GM): FOOOD.
Frezak (GM): In-game.
Apheori (GM): Okay. You want to roast your deer?
Rhu: Might be a better idea to bring the deer back to the villagers. On the other hand, they might not like us hunting their deer.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, cut it up, wash it, get rid of the offall...
Apheori (GM): It's totally around dinner time by now.
Frezak (GM): have some legs.
Bring the rest back to the willage.
Ganelon: I don't suppose I could just consume its soul, huh?
Rhu: Oh yeah, that works.
Ganelon: But, you know, not to be evil or anything.
It's just easier to eat that way.
Rhu: Less messy, too.
Ganelon: Waste no part of the animal and all, y'know.
Yeah, you've got the meat, bones, organs, and blood, but what about the life?
That's where the old man comes in.
Apheori (GM): Do you really consume souls of things?
Ganelon: No, probably not.
Apheori (GM): Aww.
Gaurav: Wouldn't the soul have left the body when the deer died?
Apheori (GM): Did you remember to cast soul trap first?
Ganelon: It would require a spiritual view on life rather than a scientific one for Radek to think of extracting the... "being" of an animal and sustain himself with it.
Apheori (GM): Ah, heh.
Indeed.
Well, you don't need me to roast deer, so I'ma grab some food too.
Ganelon: More likely he'd just extract nutrients and discard the useless flesh afterwards.
Gaurav: What would happen if you ate the soul of a creature without killing the body? The mind boggles.
Chewy.
Ganelon: I dunno.
Frezak (GM): In D&D?
Ganelon: I mean, death of the body.
Frezak (GM): You just get a... mindless person.
An awake but not concious body.
Ganelon: Oh?
Frezak (GM): Yarr.
Ganelon: I guess it couldn't really feed itself, though.
Frezak (GM): Nope.
Gaurav: Creepy.
Frezak (GM): It'd just stand there.
Or sit.
Or whatever position it was in when you sucked the soul out.
Ganelon: Well, anyway, that's what Radek does with his share of the kill.
He efficiently sucks out everything strictly beneficial about it and injects himself with that, leaving an awful, flavorless slab of dry meat behind.
Frezak (GM): Ew.
Ganelon: It's how I'd eat if I were able.
Apheori (GM): XD
That slab of meat would make for a good practical joke, I imagine.
Frezak (GM): It probably looks... icky.
Grey.
Dry.
DEAD.
Ganelon: "This... this is literally just matter."
Frezak (GM): It's the corpse of food.
Ganelon: "How did you even manage to make a flank of meat so unappetizing?"
Gaurav: Food corpse!
Ganelon: "I'd be impressed if I weren't so underwhelmed by the taste. Even the texture is just... awful."
Apheori (GM): And the rest of you? What do you all do?
Frezak (GM): I eat a leg of deerthing.
Gaurav: Are we going to cook it first?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
I thought we did.
Gaurav: Then I too eat a leg of deerthing.
Apheori (GM): It was unclear. Now it is clear.
Ganelon: I guess we could feed the gulls, too.
Frezak (GM): With meat giblets?
Ganelon: Are they even carnivores? Whatever, I'm sure Greibel can deal with it.
Gaurav: Gulls are omnivores I think.
Frezak (GM): They are.
Ganelon: Then yeah. We could even make a game out of it, assuming they were responsive enough to eat at all.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be. They're just not acting at all... intelligent.
Frezak (GM): Yah, just throw them meatbits.
Throw 'em deer thing bits and let's get exploratoring.
Radek: Do you suppose his core intelligence was destroyed and we're simply feeding the instinct-driven remains of his "body"?
The porridge: Or he could just be really stoned.
Frezak (GM): DAMN
Rhu: I'm sure he'll be back. Once he remembers how.
Frezak (GM): SORRY
MISCLICKED
Radek: I've never paid much mind to druids.
Frezak (GM): That was Gravy >.>
Gaurav: That could have been the very best interjection of all time :)
Rhu continues driving us along the river until our two hours is up, then turns the car around and drives us back to the village.
Radek: They're always going on about nature, like it holds secrets we haven't exhausted millennia ago.
A worthless profession, druidism.
A worthless profession, druidism.
Ganelon: Apologies to any druids in the audience who may be offended by my fictional character's opinions.
 
The Gravedigger: Could be a passtime.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: For this one?
Could be a passtime.
Apheori (GM): Wait! Wait!
 
Rhu: I don't know about that, Radek. A druid set up the little tree at the rift, and possibly also the waterlike thing. Maybe once we convince Greibel to unbirdify, we could get his opinion on the magic underlying them.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): If you keep going down the river, you find something. Do you keep going down the river after eating, or turn back?
For this one?
It's getting dark again.
 
Rhu: Let's get back before it gets too dark.
RHU
Frezak (GM): If it's getting dark, we'll probably start heading back.
I don't know about that, Radek. A druid set up the little tree at the rift, and possibly also the waterlike thing. Maybe once we convince Greibel to unbirdify, we could get his opinion on the magic underlying them.
Ganelon: Yeah, unless this is some very important clue.
 
Even then, we could easily justify heading back to the one place with water again later.
While they're at this, the sun sets.
Rhu: Yes. And possibly with a human Greibel and a non-vanished Azir.
 
Apheori (GM): Okay, you turn back. You don't even know how far you've gone, but whatever. You can do it again. Totally.
RHU
Y'ALL SAIL OVER THE ARID LAND, OVER IT ALL LIKE A BIRD, MAN!
Let's get back before it gets too dark.
...sorry.
 
Gaurav: Biiiiiiiiiiiiirdmaaaaaaan
They pack up and head back.
Apheori (GM): It's dark by the time you get back to where you found the deer. You see the lights of the village in the distance, and they seem to be the only lights around at all, though you couldn't even see where you were anymore...
 
You head to the sinkhole?
 
Rhu: Hmm. Do you think the lights will stay on long enough for us to find our way back? Of course, if we have to set up camp by the sinkhole or something, we can do that.
EXT. Car over open wilderness - night
Ganelon: Just for a peek.
 
I'm not there to say hello to the hole.
It's dark by the time they get back to where they found the deer. They can see the lights of the village in the distance, and also a bit of a glow from the direction of the hole...
Rhu: Okay.
 
Rhu drives us back to the sinkhole for a quick look
There's no sign of anything much else around.
Ganelon: How are things looking?
 
Apheori (GM): ...glowing.
They head for the sinkhole for a quick look.
Ganelon: Worse? The same?
 
Apheori (GM): Seriously glowing.
 
Gaurav: Jus thte little tree and the pool? Or something else also?
EXT. Hole at Vermai - night
Apheori (GM): I mean, as far as you can tell it's all back to the way it was when you first arrived... but in the darkness it's really glowing.
 
The tree. The water.
Now, the hole is glowing. In general, everything looks about the same as it had been when they were first there, but now, in the darkness of night, with glow. The tree. The water. The air around it. Tendrils in the rocks around. As though the glow has been seeping through the ground and coming up in places...
The air around it.
 
Tendrils in the rocks around.
The glowing stuff is in the air, even, sort of like mist, some blowing away in the evening breeze, bot mostly just lingering.
As though the glow has been seeping through the ground and coming up in places...
 
Ganelon: Very troublesome.
No sign of Azir or the other bird. No sign of bones. Just glowing.
Frezak (GM): SORRY AZIR.
 
GOOD LUCK.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): SORRY AZIR. GOOD LUCK.
Rhu: He'll be back. And - and - and he'll be glowing. It'll be awesome. You'll see.
 
Apheori (GM): No sign of Azir or the other bird. No sign of bones.
RADEK
But man, is it glowing.
Get me closer. In the air is fine.
Frezak (GM): can Radek learn anything about this?
 
Ganelon: From where we are?
They get closer while trying to not get too close.
Apheori (GM): The glowing stuff is in the air. Sort of like mist, some blowing away in the evening breeze, bot mostly just lingering.
 
You could totally fly into some of it.
RHU
Radek: Get me closer. In the air is fine.
If Greibel was around, we could get him to look at the shining tree branch and see if he can work out what druidic magic made it. But alas...
Bear Soup Guy is here >_<
 
Rhu drives the car closer
Rhu motions at the flock of seagulls in the back of the car.
Frezak (GM): BEAR SOUP GUY
 
Ganelon:
Radek investigates the glow, but his results say it is totally... nothing. ''(rolled 29 arcana)'' They say it doesn't exist.
rolling 1d20+10 Arcana
 
(
RADEK
19
This is...
)
 
+10
Rhu prays for help, asking for any idea about what all the shining is about. ''(rolled 26 religion)''
=
 
29
Suddenly the Greibel seagulls melt together and turn into Greibel.
Rhu: If Greibel was around, we could get him to look at the shining tree branch and see if he can work out what druidic magic made it. But alas ...
 
Rhu motions at the flock of seagulls in the back of the car
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: XD
GREIBEL!
Apheori (GM): BSG: Greibel is seagulls. Has been for awhile. Nobody knows what's wrong.
 
The question is... what is wrong?
GREIBEL
YOU PUSHED THIS QUESTION.
Hmmmmmmmmm...?
Wen: He fell asleep when the birds did.
 
okay I'll shut up now >_>
Greibel rubs his head and licks his lips at the thought of ice cheese.
Bear Soup Guy: Clearly he came into contact with...bad fumes...from the transformation of the porridge...yessssss.....
 
Ganelon: Radek theorized that you lost the bird that was your druid-swarm-control-cluster and thus became a flock of unintelligent birds.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Radek: Arcana says it's totally... nothing.
Oh, hey Greibel.
Gaurav: Rasputin the Porridge has been nursing you back from health after your encounter with the tree.
 
Apheori (GM): It says it doesn't exist.
Bear Soup Guy: :O
yay porridge ^_^
Apheori (GM): Greibel lost a gull.
Poor gull.
Frezak (GM): Could it be an illusion?
Fake light?
Gaurav:
rolling 1d20+7 religion check: I pray silently to Hazz'ridan and ask for any idea about what all the shining is about.
(
19
)
+7
=
26
Bear Soup Guy: YOU ARE GOD
RELIGION EYES
Radek: This is...
Ganelon: Can I attempt to cast magic while in this zone?
I am worried it may be impossible.
Gaurav: BSG: dude you have no idea. Get back into human form so I can tell you of all the wondrous encounters I have had with my god this day.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Hazz says to keep asking questions. Don't ignore it.
Zone?
You mean this general area?
You can totally attempt to cast magic.
Bear Soup Guy: Okie dokie
Ganelon: Yeah. Just to see if I can.
Bear Soup Guy: Suddenly Greibel's seagulls melt together and turn into Greibel?
Apheori (GM): Suddenly, Greibel!
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Gaurav: A wild Greibel appears!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You have a headache, you don't really know what's going on, and you feel... disjoint. Like you're not really there. You're not really anywhere else, but you're not really entirely there, either.
Rhu: GREIBEL!
Greibel: Hmmmmmmmmm...?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You feel a sense of... cheese? And ice. And hear the crash of waves... before it fades away into a whisper in the back of your mind...
Greibel rubs his head
The Gravedigger: Oh, hey Greibel.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Magic works.
Greibel licks his lips at the thought of ice cheese
Radek sighs in relief.
Radek sighs in relief.
Apheori (GM): What did you try to do?
 
Rhu: Greibel: you're not ... vegetarian, are you?
RHU
Greibel: What an interesting question to ask...
Greibel, you're not... vegetarian, are you?
Bear Soup Guy: brb
 
Ganelon: I can suck the heat out of the area around someone (it's not harmful to them, merely things nearby) or blast stuff away from them with... sound.
GREIBEL
The former seems safer.
What an interesting question to ask...
And less noisy.
Well, I talk to animals and, like, turn into them. I tried eating meat after that but it was just too weird.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
Ganelon: For an artificer, Radek is pretty heavy on the mechanical side as opposed to the magical one.
The Gravedigger averts his eyes and finds some interesting dust to look at.
He uses bullets and robots far more than raw magic.
 
Frezak (GM): I... have a shovel.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Only one?
Ah. Okay. Never mind. Forget I asked.
Ganelon: You're also damn near impossible to kill. I consider that important.
 
Frezak (GM): I have no magic!
GREIBEL
BUT IT CAN TAKE THIS TRUCK TO MY FACE
(groggily)
*thud*
Forget you asked what?
Ow.
 
Apheori (GM): It?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Eh, I can't type for toffee.
LOOK! DUST!
Apheori (GM): Ah.
 
Dammit, BSG...
At this point they just sort of head back to the village.
Gaurav: Who's offering toffee for typing? Tell me more.
 
Frezak (GM): I cannot.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'll have to explain to the innkeeper that I won't be speaking her language, literally, when we wake up. And unless she has a big storeroom full of magic junk for me to destroy, I likely won't be able to afford fixing that.
I'm bound by mystic oaths.
 
Also a guy said he's shoot me if I told.
 
Gaurav: Some day I shall learn these secrets for myself.
EXT. Hughenden inn - night
Frezak (GM): And then get shot.
 
Apheori (GM): Getting shot is part of life.
Some folks are loitering around the common room again, but not so many as the previous evening. It's a bit later this time.
So what do you guys do?
 
Ganelon: Go back to the village.
A guy raises his mug at the party as they enter. The inkeeper raises an eyebrow.
Apheori (GM): You head back. Everyone's inside.
 
Ganelon: I'll have to explain to the innkeeper that I won't be speaking her language, literally, when we wake up.
The Gravedigger waves at the mug dude.
Frezak (GM): TO THE INN.
 
Rhu locks CAR up for the night and heads to the inn.
RADEK
Ganelon: And unless she has a big storeroom full of magic junk for me to destroy, I likely won't be able to afford fixing that.
Good evening.
Rhu: Who's bringing in the deer?
 
Frezak (GM): I'll carry the remaning deer bits.
INNKEEPER
Have Radek explain that they're for the kitchen if she can do anything with it.
Evening to ye. Didn't expect you back so soon, but I suppose that skiff of yours had something to do with that, didn't it? Or did you make it?
And hope to FUCK there's no taboo against killing deerthings here.
 
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
This time, however, the entire party can understand her.
Bear Soup Guy: SORRY SORRY
 
My mom was telling me about important stuff
RHU
Apheori (GM): Eh, what's the worst that could happen?
That's not a 'skiff', it's a very fine shi - hey! I can understand you now!
Bear Soup Guy: I'm back now
 
Apheori (GM): BSG: Is Greibel a vegetarian?
INNKEEPER
Gaurav: We have to kill an entire village to escape?
Clearly.
Bear Soup Guy: Ah yes, the question
(she leans forward)
Frezak (GM): yeah, I just spade dudes to death.
So you all magically speak this now? This is new.
Gaurav: We might want to leave the deer in CAR and have Radek ask the innkeeper first. Who knows, maybe it is taboo but she'd like a bit all the same ...
 
Greibel: To Rhu: Well, I talk to animals and, like, turn into them
RADEK
I tried eating meat after that but it was just too weird
I had no part in this.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will avert his eyes.
 
Rhu: Greibel: Ah. Okay. Never mind. Forget I asked.
RHU
Frezak (GM): And find some interesting dust to look at;
Hmm. If it is a gift of the great Hazz'ridan, then maybe Greibel won't have it, since he was a flock of seagulls at the time?
Greibel: (groggily) Forget you asked what?
 
The Gravedigger: LOOK! DUST!
RADEK
Rhu pats Greibel on the back as we walk into the inn
However, we did investigate that hole, even lost the paladin to it. I can say with certainty that it must be closed.
Apheori (GM): Some dust blows down the street.
 
Y'all enter.
INNKEEPER
Some folks are loitering around the common room again, but not so many as the previous night.
Lost?
Evening.
 
Thing.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Timeplacewhatsit.
He's gone. Vanished. No traces.
Thingummy.
 
Gaurav: Afterafternoon
INNKEEPER
Apheori (GM): A guy raises his mug at ye. The inkeeper raises an eyebrow.
I'm sorry to hear that. So four drinks it is.
Radek: ~Good evening.~
 
Frezak (GM): I'll wave at the mug dude.
RHU
Rhu looks around for the two villagers from this morning
He'll be back. I'm sure of it.
The innkeeper: Evening to ye. Didn't expect you back so soon, but I suppose that skiff of yours had something to do with that, didn't it?
 
Or did you make it?
GREIBEL
Ganelon: As in build or accomplish?
(whispering incredulously to Rhu)
Apheori (GM): Accomplish.
Weren't these people speaking other gibberish before?
What's the check to notice things?
 
Rhu: Perception
RHU
Ganelon: Insight for people, otherwise that.
(whispering back)
Rhu: You can assume that we are continuously perception-ing at 10+(perception modifier)
You are not going to believe what happened at the rift! Hazz'ridan spoke to us and cleared our minds! He spoke to me in my head! He seemed lost and confused.
Apheori (GM): Why are people special?
 
Gaurav: Because Perception comes from Wisdom. Insight comes from Charisma, i.e. how well you can read people.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Actually Insight is also wisdom.
(whispering back)
Gaurav: oh no, insight is also wisdom
Hazz'ridan, the God of dead ends, lost and confused. Who woulda thought?
never mind
 
Ganelon: But it's a different skill.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Weird.
(whispering back)
Ganelon: Perception is noticing literal details. Sights, sounds, etc.
Every ending is another beginning. Hazz'ridan is at our side. We have a new goal now: to close the rift on this world. We cannot fail!
Apheori (GM): Hey Rhu, you notice you can understand her!
 
Ganelon: Insight is reading emotions and making sense of those details you already see.
RADEK
Stuff like that.
I even sent a drone in to search for him. You might be interested to know that there is, in fact, another side.
Rhu: That's not a "skiff", it's a very fine shi-- hey! I can understand you now!
 
The innkeeper: Clearly.
INNKEEPER
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
Do tell.
Gaurav: Gan: see? That sounds charisma-ish to me!
 
The innkeeper leans forward.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The innkeeper: So you all magically speak this now? This is new.
Drinks? Drinks!
Frezak (GM): Do we?
 
Ganelon: Well, intimidate doesn't scale off of strength. Try explaining that.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Or is it just the religious dude?
Just three. I don't require nourishment.
Apheori (GM): Apparently.
 
Radek: I had no part in this.
INNKEEPER
Apheori (GM): Nope, you all do.
Oh, love, it's not about requirements. Just try it. You won't regret a thing.
Frezak (GM): Huh.
 
Rhu: Hmm. If it is a gift of the great Hazz'ridan, then maybe Greibel won't have it, since he was a flock of seagulls at the time?
Radek: However, we did investigate that hole, even lost the paladin to it.
Rhu takes the old journal out of my bag to see if I can understand that, too.
Apheori (GM): Hazz is smarter than that.
Greibel: ^
Radek: I can say with certainty that it must be closed.
The innkeeper: Lost?
Radek: He's gone. Vanished. No traces.
Rhu: He'll be back. I'm sure of it.
Greibel: (whispers incredulously to Rhu) Weren't these people speaking other gibberish before?
Radek: I even sent a drone in to search for him. You might be interested to know that there is, in fact, another side.
The innkeeper: I'm sorry to hear that.
So four drinks it is.
The Gravedigger: Drinks?
Drinks!
The innkeeper pours some very small mugs of stuff for everyone.
The innkeeper pours some very small mugs of stuff for everyone.
Radek: Just three. I don't require nourishment.
 
Rhu: (whispers back) You are not going to believe what happened at the rift! Hazz'ridan spoke to us and cleared our minds! He spoke to me in my head! He seemed lost and confused.
RANDOM VILLAGER
The innkeeper: Do tell.
(quietly)
Oh, love, it's not about requirements. Just try it.
You'll just regret several other things.
You won't regret a thing.
 
The Gravedigger: Hey, do you want these meat bits?
Rhu looks disappointed at the mug size, but helps himself anyway.
Rhu uses his body language to show disappointment at the tinyness of the mugs, but helps himself anyway.
 
Greibel: (whispers back) Hazz'ridan, the God of dead ends, lost and confused. Who woulda thought?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): One of the other guys at the bar says, quietly, "You'll just regret several other things."
Liquids have not passed my lips in decades, ma'am. And recently I seem to have even transcended a need for oxygen.
Radek: Liquids have not passed my lips in decades, ma'am.
 
The innkeeper: Your loss.
INNKEEPER
Radek: And recently I seem to have even transcended a need for oxygen.
Your loss.
The innkeeper drinks Radek's for him.
 
The innkeeper: Me eyes Gravy's meat.
She drinks Radek's for him.
Ganelon: Yeah, he's kind of a big chrome spoilsport.
 
The innkeeper: How much have you got?
RHU
Rhu: (whispers back) Every ending is another beginning. Hazz'ridan is at our side. We have a new goal now: to close the rift on this world. We cannot fail!
Whah... how much for another one, these are delicious.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You realise you're drunk.
 
The Gravedigger: Most of the animal.
Minus what we had for lunch.
Rhu: I'm not drunk, I am perspfectly sober.
The innkeeper brinks.
The innkeeper: Well, you've been busy.
Sure, I'll take it. How much you asking?
Rhu: I know exactly what I'm sayin' and to whom I am sayin' and to what I ... how much for another one, these are delicious.
The innkeeper pours Rhu another.
The innkeeper pours Rhu another.
INNKEEPER
Today's on the house.
GREIBEL
(to the others since Rhu is in a less whispery mood now)
So how do we close this 'rift' thing?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(dropping a pile of deerthing on the bar)
Hey, do you want these meat bits?
INNKEEPER
(eyeing the meat)
How much have you got?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Most of the animal. Minus what we had for lunch.
The innkeeper blinks.
INNKEEPER
Well, you've been busy. Sure, I'll take it. How much you asking?
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The innkeeper: Today's on the house.
 
Greibel: (to the others since Rhu is in a less whispery mood now) So how do we close this "rift" thing?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Good lady, you are t-- ... you are t--- ...
Whatever you want, it wasn't any trouble.
The Gravedigger: Whatever you want, it wasn't any trouble.
 
The innkeeper: I'll give you ten.
INNKEEPER
And do drink up.
Here for the night, too? I'll give you ten. And do drink up.
The Gravedigger: Sure.
 
Frezak (GM): I'll examine the drink.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu is now examining the bartop with great interest
Sure.
Apheori (GM): The drink is brown, almost reddish. It's very small, but you can't actually see the bottom of the mug.
 
The Gravedigger: So what IS this?
The Gravedigger examines his drink. It's brown, almost reddish, and despite the small amount in the mug, the bottom is completely obscured.
Ganelon: Just to be polite, I'll actually take some of this drink in a syringe.
 
Because injecting alcohol straight into your bloodstream is how the pros do it, kids. Don't try this at home.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(watching Rhu)
So what IS this?
 
RHU
Good lady, you are t... you are t...
 
Rhu is now examining the bartop with great interest.
 
The innkeeper pours Rhu another, almost grinning.
The innkeeper pours Rhu another, almost grinning.
The innkeeper: Shalott! The proper stuff, rather.
 
Frezak (GM): i'm mostly watching Rhu get hammered.
INNKEEPER
The innkeeper: Not like went bad and made your friend's... friend.
Shalott! The proper stuff, rather. Not like went bad and made your friend's... friend.
Frezak (GM): I'll drink my cup of stuff.
 
The innkeeper eyes the porridge, which climbed back onto Greibel's shoulder.
The innkeeper eyes the porridge, which is sitting on Greibel's shoulder.
Rhu: HUH? HUH? I HEARD mnamesomesbdit.
 
The innkeeper pours another, mixing in from a different jug.
The Gravedigger drinks his shalott.
Frezak (GM): And hope my being a seven foot slab of meat prevents me from going runny like the skinny avenger there.
 
Gaurav: Oh, is Rasputin the Porridge still with us? Awesome.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Yeah, it doesn't hit you like it hit him.
HUH? HUH? I HEARD mnamesomesbdit.
It's more just... kind of nice and fuzzy.
 
So how does this syringe thing work?
Radek gives in and hands the innkeeper a syringe, indicating that she should put some of the shalott in that.
Gaurav: Rhu's had a big day. Good for him.
 
Ganelon: Like any medical syringe.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Because injecting alcohol straight into your bloodstream is how the pros do it, kids. Don't try this at home.
Frezak (GM): INjecting booze right into your blood?
 
YOU MADMAN.
She takes the syringe skeptically and eyes it. Then she eyes Radek.
You're gonna DIE.
 
Apheori (GM): So you want the lady to put booze in a syringe?
RADEK
Ganelon: If the lady wants me to enjoy it, yes
...What? It's efficient.
Frezak (GM): Im' not joking by the way.
 
The innkeeper takes the syringe skeptically.
INNKEEPER
The innkeeper eyes it.
If this kills you, I take no responsibility.
Ganelon: Because it bypasses my liver, I assume?
The innkeeper eyes Radek.
Ganelon: That probably isn't functioning any longer.
Radek: ...What? It's efficient.
Frezak (GM): yep.
Gaurav: Yeah, alcohol + no liver --> bad idea
The innkeeper: If this kills you, I take no responsibility.
Unfortunately you've gone and got my interest, and the whole floor's watching...
Unfortunately you've gone and got my interest, and the whole floor's watching...
The Gravedigger: Me lays a hand on Radek.
 
If you die.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll bury you.
(he lays a hand on Radek)
Rhu starts mumbling a dirty song
If you die, I'll bury you.
 
Rhu starts mumbling a dirty song.
 
The innkeeper mixes a very small amount of dark stuff with some other stuff and waters it down a bit and adds some other stuff and pours a bit into the syringe...
The innkeeper mixes a very small amount of dark stuff with some other stuff and waters it down a bit and adds some other stuff and pours a bit into the syringe...
The innkeeper: I can't think of anything dramatic to say.
 
The innkeeper hands it over.
She holds it and pauses dramatically for a moment.
Radek: Fear not.
 
Apheori (GM): Several of the villagers boo.
INNKEEPER
Radek: With this, I prove my own immortality.
I can't think of anything dramatic to say.
Ganelon: He is not immortal.
 
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
She hands it over.
Some of the villagers are now cheering him on.
 
Wen: two deaths in one day might not be the best thing >_>
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Urging him to do it.
Fear not. With this, I prove my own immortality.
Do it!
 
Wen: Ah, but your guy ain't dead!
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): He is not immortal.
 
Some of the villagers are now cheering him on. Urging him to do it.
 
One guy in the back mutters and shakes his head.
 
Radek injects the mixture into his arm.
Radek injects the mixture into his arm.
Apheori (GM): ...probably.
 
There's a long silence.
There's a long silence.
Wen takes on the role of the one guy muttering and shaking his head in the crowd
 
Apheori (GM): Radek neglects to fall over dead.
Radek neglects to fall over dead.
Radek: Keh heh heh.
 
Apheori (GM): He does get a bit dizzy and weird feeling, though.
RADEK
Radek: Told you sooo--whoah.
Keh heh heh.
Told you sooo - whoah.
 
The Gravedigger cheers and pats Radek on the back.
The Gravedigger cheers and pats Radek on the back.
Apheori (GM): Everyone starts clapping and cheering.
 
Radek: I had forgotten what this feels like.
Everyone starts clapping and cheering.
Greibel: Huh....weird.
 
Rhu bangs the table a few times
RADEK
The innkeeper pushes Greibel another.
I had forgotten what this feels like.
Greibel looks at it for a moment
 
Greibel start sipping it slowly
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Aw yeah, getting the smart guy drunk.
Huh... weird.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You standing or sitting?
 
Frezak (GM): Male bonding coming right up.
Rhu bangs on the bar a few times with his mug.
I'm... standing behind Radek right now.
 
Apheori (GM): Well, standing behind you is that large guy from before.
The innkeeper considers giving Rhu another and then pushes it toward Greibel instead.
Both of your heads are kind of grazing the ceiling.
 
He's very close, and you realise someone is there...
Greibel looks at it for a moment before sipping it slowly.
Frezak (GM): I'll turn around and give him a look.
 
Of the "what?" variety.
The Gravedigger turns around to find that large guy from before standing abnormally close to him.
Wen: uhh, is it just me or did Gan and Gaurav disappear?
 
Gaurav: Nope, still here.
The Gravedigger gives him a look of the "what?" variety.
Wen: o_O okay.
 
Ganelon: Don't trust the names.
LARGE GUY
Frezak (GM): The are deceit.
Hi.
*the names are deceit
 
Wen: well, carry on.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Wen watches with interest
Hello? Something you need?
Ganelon: I want to know what's up with this guy guy.
 
Big guy, rather.
The large guy stares blankly.
Apheori (GM): Right, sorry.
 
The guy says, "Hi."
The Gravedigger stares blankly right back.
Ganelon: And also wrap things up because the hunger only intensifies.
 
Apheori (GM): My toe was bleeding all over the place.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Wen: ><
Oookayyy. Good luck with that.
The Gravedigger: "Hello? Something you need?"
 
Ganelon: And I'm going to be prying off noodles that have been frozen together for at least 10 minutes.
The Gravedigger turns back around to see how Radek is coping.
Also yeesh, hope you're okay.
 
Apheori (GM): The guy says nothing.
Radek is happily muttering obscure formulae to nobody in particular.
Frezak (GM): I'm just gonna stare blankly for a bit.
 
Apheori (GM): He stares blankly as well.
The innkeeper looks really proud of herself for this.
The Gravedigger: "Oookayyy. Good luck with that."
 
Frezak (GM): And turn back round and see how Radek is coping.
Rhu notices the muttered formulae, tries to figure out how some possibly related song goes, fails, and returns to persuing the bartop.
Ganelon: Happily muttering obscure formulae to nobody in particular.
 
Apheori (GM): The innkeeper looks really proud of herself for that.
A moment later, Rhu is sprawled forward across it, fast asleep.
Frezak (GM): I take it that I cannot brofist the innkeep.
 
Rhu notices the muttered formulae, tries to figure out how the song goes, fails. Returns to persuing the bartop.
The Gravedigger picks Rhu up and squeezes past the large guy, who is still standing right behind him, whacking the guy with a bunch of Rhu in the process.
Ganelon: Song?
 
No, these are formulas of SCIENCE!
The large guy just stands there looking confused.
Frezak (GM): He doesn't know that :p
 
Ganelon: They describe the laws of the universe!
Rhu wakes up a bit.
And also how to break them!
RHU
It is the fundamental theory of magic!
Huh? Wha? Wh?
Maybe!
 
Apheori (GM): So Rhu and Radek are drunk. Eeeeexcellent.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel and Gravy ain't entirely so.
You're going to bed, little man.
Rhu: NOT DRUNK VOLTING
 
Frezak (GM): Gravy will not get more than buzzed.
RHU
Apheori (GM): The innkeeper wants you to drink more.
Hmf. No. Not sleepy. Five more minutes.
Frezak (GM): Someone has to keep watch over these madmen.
 
Because they're men.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And maaaad
Shhhhh.
Apheori (GM): They ain't even doing anything. Terribly boring drunks, they are.
 
Frezak (GM): THey're mumbling and muttering and stuff.
He heads up the stairs, and Greibel and Radek follow.
I don't think they have Drunk Proficiency.
 
I'll get busy telling Greibel everything that happened.
 
With undrunk details.
INT. Hughenden inn upstairs - night
Apheori (GM): The guy is still standing behind you.
 
Ganelon: Just wait.
The Gravedigger dumps Rhu with Greibel and steers Radek into another room with himself, since Radek doesn't sleep anyway.
Once Radek decides it's time to get to work, you won't think he's a boring drunk any longer.
 
Just a dangerous madmen who should never be allowed near his own tools.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): He's a diligent guard. Except for the part where he pays no attention.
Madman, rather.
 
Apheori (GM): He isn't normally?
While the others sleep, Radek gets to work on another eyebot, this one with possible drunken 'enhancements'.
Ganelon: Hey!
</screenplay>
Bear Soup Guy: People keep calling me on the phone and talking to me and asking stuff about things
 
Ganelon: I haven't USED these bombs I made. Yet.
{{holes nav
Bear Soup Guy: I think Greibel's going to turn in early with a nice buzz
|previous=Holes/Session 5
Apheori (GM): Silly people.
|next=Holes/Session 7
Rhu has fallen asleep on the bar top.
}}
Frezak (GM): I'll pick Rhu up.
And give the Innkeep a coin.
If I haven't already.
Apheori (GM): You sorted out the money with the deer thing, I think.
Did you ever drag that in?
Frezak (GM): I thought I came in with it.
Gaurav: I think so, yes.
Apheori (GM): Right, so that's all sorted. You have more money, some of you are drunk, and the beds await if you need them.
Frezak (GM): I tihnk we do.
Apheori (GM): But the guy is still standing right behind you.
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna ignore him because he is creepy and I don't feel like burying anyone tonight.
Apheori (GM): So you just sort of bounce off him.
And push past?
Gaurav: Bouncy giants.
Frezak (GM): Bounce off him?
Apheori (GM): Unlike you, he's a little blubbery.
Ganelon: I'll follow these guys up, but as usual, I've no intentions of sleeping.
Frezak (GM): But why do I have to bounce off him?
Ganelon: I have a new eyebot to construct!
Frezak (GM): I can just walk around him, no?
Bear Soup Guy: EYEBOT
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Because he was entirely too close, and massive.
Frezak (GM): I'm just gonna move around him.
Apheori (GM): You do walk around him, but... he's really close.
Yeah.
Frezak (GM): Well he's gonna get whacked by the Rhu over my shoulders if he doesn't move.
Apheori (GM): He doesn't move, and gets whacked.
He still doesn't move.
He looks... confused.
Frezak (GM): Not my problem.
I have an Avenger to settle.
Rhu wakes up
Rhu: Huh? Wha? Wh?
The Gravedigger: You're going to bed, little man.
Ganelon: http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7744/68rocket16.jpg
This is the eyebot.
Rhu: Hmf. No. Not sleepy. Five more mintnes.
The Gravedigger: Shhhhh.
Frezak (GM): And I'm gonna go dump him on a bed.
Rhu mumbles, puts my thumb in my mouth and goes back to sleep
Gaurav: That is one awesome eyebot!
Frezak (GM): I'll have him bunk with Radek.
Actually.
he can go with Greibel.
i'll go with RAdek since he doesn't sleep.
Ganelon: He's a diligent guard.
Except for the part where he pays no attention.
Frezak (GM): Radek?
I picture him being in his own little world of science.
Yeah, that.
So I'll leave him with Greibel.
And then check my gear and go to sleep.
Rhu snuggles into bed and falls asleep
Ganelon: I do believe that will be all, unless something eventful occurs during the night.
Apheori (GM): Naw.
Shall we call it a week and meet in two? >.<
Ganelon: I suppose so.
Gaurav: Sounds good! I'm also okay for meeting in between either week.
Ganelon: And I suppose I'll deal with the level-upping of people's sheets?
Gaurav: Tuesday 11am MT to 3pm MT works particularly well, since it's squeezed between two classes for me.
Frezak (GM): That was for reals?
Ganelon: Or at least those which are already on my builder.
I dunno, was it?
Gaurav: I'll level my own character up -- the format is ridiculously annoying, so I wouldn't want you to spend too much time trying to make sense of it!
Apheori (GM): Yeah, you all need to level up.
You survived Sarathi. You made... actual progress since...
AND THERE WILL EVENTUALLY BE COMBAT, REALLY.
Can we all do tuesday?
Ganelon: I don't know if everyone's still here.
Frezak (GM): Um.
Sure?
Gaurav: Yes!
Ganelon: I should be able to.
Gaurav: BSG?
Frezak (GM): Well now we can spend days discussing level options with Gan >.>
BSG isn't here.
He left.
Gaurav: Anyhow, I'm just pleased that for once the game didn't have to end because of me, and now I'm off to feed. Thanks for a great game everybody! See you Tuesday or next week!
Frezak (GM): FEED
You sound like a wampire.
Gaurav: A TRUE vampire would spell vampire with a "w" ^_^
Frezak (GM): True wampires sound boring.
Apheori (GM): FEED.
Gaurav: Indeed. Good night all!
</pre>

Latest revision as of 16:51, 9 April 2015



EXT. Village of Hughenden - day
While Radek talks to the villagers, the rest of the party mills about in the dustiness of the street. There's a fair bit of rubble and random stuff lying around - twisted metal, melted stone, wood that couldn't possibly be wood... the sort of thing kids would love to play on, except there don't seem to be any kids. Anywhere.
RHU
(he elbows Gravy)
There's a lot of dust here. How's the digging?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm not burying dust.
RHU
(indicating the nearby buildings)
What's up with those shingles? They hurt my head.
Rhu goes and steals a shingle.
The porridge wiggles.
There is a loud thimphk sound behind them, followed by a bit of a cloud of dust rising from the impact.
Aziraphale turns to look properly and finds a kind of metal object half embedded in the ground. It is, apparently, an anvil.
RHU
Huh! Did it fall from the empty sky? Did it just appear magically behind us? What is it for?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's an anvil. They don't usually drop from the sky.
RHU
What's an anvil?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Used for... shaping hot metal.
RHU
Huh. It looks dangerous, it could have killed someone. Maybe that's what happened to all the children...
AZIRAPHALE
What, an anvil dropped on them? Don't be silly.
Radek, can you ask them if stuff drops out of the sky?
RADEK
(in deslau, to one of the villagers)
Does this happen often?
Villager shrugs.
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
Sometimes. Not really.
RHU
Do we have any technology that could warn us of incoming anvils? We might need to dodge them at some point.
RADEK
The villagers don't see this sort of event often.
I have nothing on hand, at least.
AZIRAPHALE
Okay, so it's at least happened before. This is curious.
RADEK
It is, these days. Well, in our days.
AZIRAPHALE
What about the funny metal things/toys? Did those drop from the sky as well?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Given how fast those drop, you'd need some seriously awesome detector thing.
RHU
Ah, true.
The porridge drips down Greibel's arm.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek, can you ask them where these came from? Piles of scrap metal isn't really what I'd expect from this level of technology.
The older villager gets up and ambles off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I probably wouldn't expect a rain of anvils either, though.
Greibel draws funny pictures in the dirt with a stick.
RADEK
(in deslau)
Where did this metal come from?
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
You know.
RADEK
(in deslau)
Nowhere?
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
Oh, totally. I'm sure it just appeared one day. Everything came from somewhere, right? Except where did it all come from before there was a SOMEWHERE for it to come from, hmm?
The villager nods sagely.
Radek grumbles.
RADEK
He doesn't know. Another rift in space, I assume.


EXT. Car - day
The party returns to the car to head out, with Rhu retaking the driver's seat, and the others piling in around.
There's a rough drawing of a tree on the dash with something written under it.
Rhu realises he sat on something.
RHU
Huh?
He finds a string of beads.
RHU
Huh! Do these beads mean anything to anyone?
There's some shrugging and general dissent.
RADEK
(indicating the drawing)
...It says 'guard'.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ominous.
RHU
Yeah, maybe it's magical? Maybe it 'guards' us? Also, what's with the tree?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Either it's 'beware the tree' or 'the tree is a guard' or the tree means nothing and it's just general blabbings.
RADEK
I'm inclined to believe the latter. I'm a scientist.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... I don't think we can gain much information from that alone. Let's go to the sinkhole.
They fly off toward the sinkhole.


EXT. Hole at Vermai - day
The car ship flies toward what turns out to be a really large, mostly dead tree with a bit of a sinkhole right next to it.
The tree dwarfs the surrounding trees, and has a much smaller tree, which is still alive, apparently growing out of the side of it.
The sinkhole is mostly just a really dusty, dry-looking sinkhole.
GREIBEL
(to Rhu)
Of course I can talk to bears, silly.
RADEK
From what I've been told, approaching any further would be unwise.
They stop in midair a fair distance away.
RHU
One of these trees might be our dashboard tree. But which one?
RADEK
Don't ask me. I don't deal in organics.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is all really weird. That living one isn't the same kind as the big one. And I don't see roots.
That's really weird.
RHU
I dunno. Compared to Sarathi, this is almost mundane. So far.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It might not be a tree. Maybe something trying to look like one.
RHU
Griebel, do your flock of seagulls thing!
GREIBEL
And I raaaan. I raaan so faaar awaaaaay.
Wait, maybe that's the wrong band...
Greibel turns into birds and then sends one bird out to approach the tree.
It seems normal enough. Hello, tree. Nice tree. It lands. A tree. A little bit ill, a little bit lush, but not something dangerous. Smells just fine. Feels just fine.
Then the flock of Greibel all sort of just falls asleep. (rolled 7 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There. See. That's not normal.
The porridge sits on Greibel's seat emitting an aura of loneliness, and oozes over one of the birds, partially enveloping it in a strange sort of hug.
Rhu reaches out to pat the porridge reassuringly, but the porridge cowers away from his hand.
Aziraphale fidgets, feeling the hole calling to him. (rolled 11 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Someone poke the rest of Greibel, would you?
RHU
OY BIRDS. WAKE UP.
The birds in the car neglect to wake up.
The bird on the tree falls off the branch and tumbles into the hole. (rolled 3 reality)
Aziraphale, meanwhile, loses control in light of the power of the hole's call and climbs out of the car, falling to the ground. (rolled 1 reality)
He continues crawling toward it on the ground.
RHU
Azir! Dammit.
RADEK
Oh, great.
Rhu directs the car to land between Aziraphale and the hole.
RADEK
Gravy, hold him back.
As the vehicle passes over Aziraphale, the Gravedigger jumps out, landing on top of him and pinning him down.
Aziraphale recovers slightly and stops trying to crawl into the sinkhole. (rolled 17 reality)
The flock of Greibel also wakes up a bit and makes some funny bird noises. (rolled 8 reality)
From here, the contents of the sinkhole are much more visible. Said contents seem to just be water. It looks disappointingly normal.
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, Gravy, get off me, I feel better now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Promise not to start running into that hole?
AZIRAPHALE
Probably not.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hmm.
The Gravedigger gets off Aziraphale, but remains close in case he runs again.
RHU
So investigate the hole on foot? And hope we don't all fall asleep?
AZIRAPHALE
I think it'll be a better idea if two people take a look. And that two people shouldn't include me.
RADEK
Let's start with something useless.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What, throw a rock?
Radek glances at Greibel.
RADEK
(quietly)
Like... a rock. Yes.
RHU
...can Greibel turn into a giant spider? Spiders are good at holes. Or tunnels, at any rate.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It looked like it had water at the bottom. If there's a magic ripping hole in there, it's invisible.
AZIRAPHALE
Isn't one part of Greibel already in the hole? It might have drowned. It might have fallen through time. Frankly I have no idea.
The rest of Greibel just sits there making noises.
RHU
I could go with the rope tied around me. I'm pretty light. Or lithe.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll look.
Aziraphale fidgets and then gets tackled by the Gravedigger again.
Radek gets out of the car as well and impatiently heads for the edge of the hole in order to peer in properly. The water in the sinkhole is actually quite pretty, with shades of blue and green fading to black at its depths...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SOMEONE GRAB RADEK.
I have my hands full of paladin here.
RADEK
I'll be fine! I'm coated in the stuff of time and non-existence.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
FINE THEN.
RHU
If we want to do the rope thing, we need to do that now and then back away. Otherwise we're all going to get mentally dragged into the hole.
Radek tosses a rock into the hole and it splashes into the water, exactly like a rock should do.
Then the rock bobs back up to the surface and floats, exactly like a rock shouldn't do.
RADEK
Alright, hand me a rope.
Rhu looks around for anything else around the hole and spots the seagull back in the tree. (rolled 22 perception)
RHU
Hey! Isn't that a bit of Greibel?
He looks again and the gull is gone.
RHU
Hey, where did it go?
Radek makes Rhu move the car over the hole and tie a rope to it, and hastily ties the other end of the rope around his waist.
As Rhu watches, peering down into the hole, he feels all of his problems just fade away. All of the horror of the past few days just melts... (rolled 5 reality)
RHU
That water looks really cool and refreshing... maybe a short swim will help us think about this problem better?
Aziraphale fidgets.
Radek dives into the hole. (rolled 4 reality) The rope goes taut with him hanging a couple meters above the water.
RHU
The water. So relaxing.
Radek hangs over the water. He suddenly realises how much he loves the hole. How wonderful it is. (rolled 1 reality) How he could be one with the hole. All of the hole. The hole.
RADEK
THIS HOLE IS GREAT!
Lower the car! I haven't hit the surface yet!
On one of the car seats, where nobody is looking, a porridge-wrapped seagull fidgets.
Rhu fidgets and lowers the car.
By the edge, Aziraphale continues to fidget, and the Gravedigger lets go. Aziraphale just stays put for the time being.
Frezak (Gravy): I might as well just pitch everyone into the hole at this point.
As Radek is lowered into the water, he submerges with a plop and sinks. The water is dark and watery and fairly clear, and there is very little of interest.
The Gravedigger throws some random bits of junk into the water. A handaxe. Some rocks. The handaxe sinks. The rocks float.
Radek sees an axe drifting down nearby before suddenly disappearing, and climbs up the rope back to the surface of the water.
RADEK
Who just threw an axe at me!?
Aziraphale sees bones. All around Sticking out of the ground. Piled up. Littered about. (rolled 7 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, guys, there are bones here. There are...
(he looks more closely at them)
Plastic bones here!
RADEK
Plastic bones? Who cares! The axe disappeared!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That... sounds like a decoy.
AZIRAPHALE
(indicating the bones that only he can see)
Come look!
The Gravedigger plods over to test the bones, but he doesn't see any.
Aziraphale sweeps his arms to point at the bones all around them.
AZIRAPHALE
You can't see them?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GODS FUCKING DAMMIT. THIS IS HOPELESS.
I'm gonna go back and become a helpful member of some community.
RHU
Radek, what does the water smell like?
RADEK
You tell me! I can't smell things!
Aziraphale ignores the bones and instead walks back to the sinkhole. They don't matter. (rolled 2 reality)
Gravy follows. (rolled 2 reality) It looks so... nice... A way home. A way out of this. A way to just go somewhere away from the crazy...
RHU
HEY!
AZIRAPHALE
I want to go in. I really want to go in. I think I should go in.
RHU
(jumping out of the car)
WAIT! COME BACK!
Aziraphale starts taking off the more unwieldy bits of his gear as he goes, and sits down at the edge, looking down.
AZIRAPHALE
Yes. I think I should. Come, the rest of you, why don't you?
RADEK
(from the water's surface)
If that water made an axe disappear, I'd encourage you to think about what it'll do to you.
AZIRAPHALE
It looks so nice... peaceful. What can it do? I'm insane and seeing bones y'all can't see. We got jumped to another planet. Everyone on Sarathi is dead.
(he looks back at the others)
Well... if you're not following...
Aziraphale edges forward and dives in, hitting the water with a splash.
Rhu mutters something under his breath.
For a moment, nothing happens. Then there's a horrible sucking squelching noise, and the water level suddenly starts lowering until it all drains out the bottom... leaving a dry stone base a few hundred feet down.
There are some bits of metal and wood on the ground under the rift. And a feather.
No longer supported by the water, Radek falls back to the end of the rope.
Aziraphale is just... gone.
RADEK
I warned him.
Rhu gasps, then quickly mumbles a prayer to Hazz'ridan.
Wen (Aziraphale): Something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end.
Hazz'ridan blesses Rhu with his mind back, properly back, and suddenly everything becomes so much clearer. Before, it had only been mostly back. It had seemed back, but it wasn't, not really.
Rhu realises he's surrounded by CRAZY EVERYWHERE. His companions are losing it. Reality itself is shifting around them. And within the sinkhole, the rift in reality is actually visible now, the source of all of this, the madness, the insanity.
It's a strange little rippling thing in the air, not far from where Radek is hanging.
That's the real hole.
The rest just sort of... happened on top of it.
Rhu blinks.
Rhu blinks again. The hole is still there.
Rhu goes down on one knee and prays to Hazz'ridan to reveal the truth to all his companions. Suddenly he feels the warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.
The Gravedigger stops heading for the hole.
The seagulls start dancing.
Radek, hanging next to the rift, suddenly sees it too, and gives it a good look-over. (rolled 13 arcana)
RADEK
Hmph.
Now this is more like it.
RHU
(he points)
That's it. That's the hole. Shimmering. There.
Rhu decidedly doesn't mention the bit about the tentacles.
RADEK
This, my... companions, is a rift in space.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Great.
RADEK
That's all I can tell you about it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So it's a hole, like the willagers said.
RHU
Well, we found it. At terrible cost, but we found it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Azi might be hanging around naked on the other side.
RHU
Oooh, perhaps.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan to keep Azir safe.
Radek notices some of his coating is starting to seep into the rope. He quickly unties himself and drops to the bottom of the sinkhole, under the rift itself. The air there is oddly charged, as though full of static.
The bits on the ground turn out to be some shredded twigs and stuff. The metal is just as shredded.
There's a bit of a confusion as the others have a go at first getting down a rope long enough, and then hauling Radek entirely out of the sinkhole, with, naturally, no actual help from Radek himself.
Once out, Radek hands over the random bits to the Gravedigger, who looks them over. (rolled 21 nature)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This was my axe. I don't think that Azi is alive.
RHU
If Azir is dead, we can ressurrect him from any fragment of his body, if one of those bits are fragments from his body.
If he has been teleported elsehwere or something, then no.
Gaurav (Rhu): I heard this on the Penny Arcade D&D game, so I don't know how true it is.
RADEK
Do you see any of his parts laying around?
Rhu looks around and notices that the smaller tree on the larger, dead tree is glowing. It looks like druid magic.
RHU
Oh, maybe some of those squiggles meant 'the tree that glows'. The water glowed too. Maybe it was also part of some kind of protection system?
In which case, is anybody nervous that we seem to be turning all the protection systems off? Shouldn't we investigate this rift? It might have something to do with Sarathi. Reality breaking down and all that. Although to be honest, this rift is much better behaved than Sarathi was.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What can we do with this? I've no idea.
RHU
Poke it with a stick? See if it destroys the stick, anyhow.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well it fucked up my axe. You try something.
Rhu throws stones at the rift.
The first couple are shredded. Another bounces off. One of them just sort of disappears.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan for wisdom in dealing correctly with this dangerous rift.
He gets a gist of a response: The rift is a dead end. This is a world of dead ends, with ends getting ever deader as time goes on. Hazz'ridan should be pleased, but he is not, for they are not his dead ends. They are something else entirely, and this is very, very bad. They need to get to the bottom of it, because the other gods seem inclined to utterly ignore it, and Rhu is the first mortal of his to have even gone near it. And survived.
Radek summons his eyebot and flies it down into the sinkhole, and then tries to send it into the rift.
The first time, it just bounces off and tumbles to the ground. (rolled 1 reality) It still seems to be intact, however, and Radek gets it back into the air a moment later.
RHU
Oh phew. Try again?
The second time, it goes in without issue. (rolled 12 reality)
Through the eyebot, Radek observes a horrible darkness. It is surrounded by horrible darkness, floating in horrible.
It flies around the horrible, encountering more horrible darkness.
It bounces off something.
Then there's light everywhere and it's tumbling through the light. It's flying over a beach now. Sand. Sea. Palm trees.
A pile of dead spikey sea creatures nearby.
No sign of the paladin.
Tracks in the sand, belonging to some alien creature.
RADEK
Fascinating. Also, horrible.
But it does seem that some manner of stable environment exists on the other side of this rift. It's in no better shape.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not much use unless you have idea how to get trhough safely. Since being shredded is still possible.
And I don't want to be shredded.
Getting closer, it seems the palm trees are dead, like they were just dried out suddenly. And the rift on this side is enormous. It stretches across the beach, into the waves, which just sort of slice around it, and up the sky and overhead.
RADEK
...Oh my. We're looking at a much larger hole on the other side.
The light over the beach is darker than it should be, and getting darker, shifting to purple...
Around the eyebot, reality folds in on itself.
Everything goes dark, but the connection remains. The eyebot is still there. Somewhere.
RADEK
We... are going to want to close this. And I'm going to need a new robot.
RHU
Hazz'ridan would see a dead end here where the roads cut across space and time. We must close this. He wills it.
This new darkness seems to be different from the previous one. The eyebot's sensors indicate it to just be some sort of dark room.
Radek has the eyebot shoot its laser, illuminating what turns out to be a large cavern, full of stalagtagamiteses. There's no visible rift here, but the space around seems to ripple in shimmer in the light before it goes out.
RADEK
First a beach, now a cave...
Radek flies the eyebot about through the cavern, mapping out a portion. As it moves, it encounters pockets of more and less resistance; The air is funny, but also the space is funny.
Then it passes through a thinner patch and it's somewhere else once again.
This looks like Sarathi. Same style of architecture, same sort of technology, at least. It's in a building, in an open area full of tables and rubble and sunlight. Some overgrown plants reach toward the openings in the walls and ceiling.
The connection, however, is getting tenuous at best, as though it has been getting further and further away with each passage...
Radek flies the eyebot toward one of the cracks in the building wall, revealing a vista that very definitely is Sarathi. This city, however, it utterly demolished. Few buildings remain past their foundations, as though they had collapsed after a a great battle.
The sky, however, is ordinary enough. A bit of a smoky haze lies around the horizons. Billowy clouds drift overhead. Three moons are also visible, though the Sarathi they'd gone to had only had two.
Then the connection goes out entirely.
RADEK
Blast.
Well, it reached Sarathi, and the sky was much more agreeable this time. The place is utterly destroyed. Although, I wouldn't assume that it discovered the planet at the same 'present' we are enjoying right now.
RHU
Yes. I think we should try to close this hole now, then see if we can't find a city and report back to HQ on all this holes business.
RADEK
I don't think there is a city to find here. We should count ourselves lucky if this planet is simply underdeveloped, and not in the past itself.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Any of what you'd call technology on this world is not native.
RHU
Oh, right. The past.
There's a bit of a gurgling bubbling noise from the bottom of the sinkhole, and muddy water begins to seep back into it.
Radek uses the ropes to take a sample of the water.
RHU
Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, is displeased by this state of affairs and would like us to close this hole. He would like this very, very much.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well maybe he could tell us how. Else he can go bury himself.
RHU
I'll ask him.
Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan, maker of ends, for wisdom in the ways of closing rifts in space and time.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
I do not know. This is the first time anyone has ever gotten so far at all. Find out.
RADEK
I couldn't care less what your god would like us to do, but in the interests of my own survival, I'm closing this hole.
RHU
Hazz'ridan is alas unable to help us, but encourages us to find a way. He says nobody else has ever gotten this far to sorting this mess out so I guess we're ahead of the crowd there.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
And then maybe if you could be so good as to beat Kyrule over the head with it, everything can go back to fine and normal with good and proper dead ends like there are supposed to be.
RHU
(muttering)
Amen.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So your god is as clueless as us. WHoop-dee-doo.
RADEK
So we need to do all the work ourselves. Nothing new there.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear him)
Get to the bottom of this. It spans worlds, universes, that were never meant to be connected. You have been pulled from your own, and that you wound up here is a greater blessing than you could have imagined. You are not alone here, and this shall not be your dead end.
Rhu repeats this to the group. They basically ignore him.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well do you have any idea how to close it, Radek?
RADEK
None. Dealing in spatial instabilities is a hobby of mine at best.
RHU
Amadi seemed to know a thing or two. I wonder if we could get her back somehow. Maybe if we could figure out where Midnight was. Or when.
RADEK
Well, she didn't show up while I was working.
In the sinkhole, the water level is still rising, but as it approaches the level of the rift, the rift seems to be trying to twist away from the surface. Like it doesn't like it.
RHU
So the rift was covered in water it dislikes and with a tree overhead to 'guard' it or something. But it didn't work, because this planet has had a bad time of it. So maybe us uncovering it made it worse? Maybe together they can't be destroyed but once the rift is unprotected it can be? So many questions.
We could go back to the village and try to find someone who understands this better than us.
RADEK
It's as good a place to start as any.
They all pile back into the car.
The Gravedigger grabs a piece of wood and tosses it at the rift. It bounces off.
The Gravedigger grabs another piece of wood, dunks it in Radek's water sample, and then tosses it at the rift as well. It goes in.
Frezak (Gravy): Dammit. I forgot that sometimes things go in and sometimes they don't, regardles off what they are.
The water continues to rise and finally hits the rift regardless of its vague attempts to avoid it. The rippling effect spreads through the water, filling it with odd shards of wrongness, as though the water itself took on the properties of the rift.
Radek, clearly interested in this change, takes another water sample, though as it's detached from the rest it goes back to looking the same as ever.
As the rift is covered entirely, they feel it calling to them again, the same pull of the hole as they'd felt earlier, getting stronger the more it fills. This time it isn't overpowering, however, and isn't compelling anyone to actually do anything.
The water is full of shimmers.
RHU
We should maybe get out of here. Before it gets any stronger.
RADEK
Please do.
Without further ado, they turn the car toward the village and head back.


EXT. Car over open wilderness - afternoon
They fly around a bit, checking out the area. A big dry river over there. Some mountains in the distance which look like they might have some real life on them. A whole lot of desert in the other direction.
Some deer-like things further off.
A general agreement to maybe hunt the things is established, and they head in that direction.
When they get in range, Radek takes aim with his rifle.
RADEK
Intact body, right?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah. You can pop the head or bleed it out, though.
Radek fires and misses. (rolled 12 vs AC)
They get a little closer, and the Gravedigger throws a grappling hook and rope at a running deerthing below them. It tangles around the deerthing's legs, and the deerthing is pulled into the air below them. (rolled 20 vs AC)
RADEK
Showoff.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
YEEEE-HAAAWWWW.
Pull up!
Rhu does so, and the deerthing swings about chaotically below them, making funny noises.
The Gravedigger hauls the thing up a bit and then unexpectedly winds up with a pile of thrashing deerthing in his lap when one of the swings takes it over the side of the car.
The Gravedigger headbutts it to death.
Frezak (Gravy): Those guys probably think that headbutting how hunters used to do it in the olden days. "It's an ancient, accredited technique. Shut up."
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now, a spot to gut and clean this. Any rivers?
They fly on, but all the rivers nearby seem to be dry. So they follow pick one and follow the riverbed for a time. It passes through plains and desert, the land randomly switching between the two.
Later, they come to something of a canyon, dry but deep. Then the river passes underground for a time, and they fly over a ridge, and further down is more canyon. Here, there is some water in it. A trickle.
Later still, the river gets bigger, mountains sort of rise around it, it goes through some hills, snakes around some much greener area, and gets a whole lot larger very, very suddenly, with tributaries and everything.
It seems to head over mountains in the distance, and beyond, perhaps to the coast, but for now they head down to park.


EXT. Deslan riverside - evening
The party gets out by the river and sets up to roast the deer. The Gravedigger carries a tree over to the camp before setting down to clean the carcass while Rhu builds up a fire. Radek goes through his things and does some miscellaneous science in the meantime.
Greibel is still seagulls and sitting in the car like a flock of disoriented, bemused seagulls somehow attached to a car.
Once everything is cleaned up and the fire good and low, the Gravedigger starts off by roasting some legs and passes hunks of the result around while the rest burns down for the villagers.
Ganelon (Radek): I don't suppose I could just consume its soul, huh? But, you know, not to be evil or anything. It's just easier to eat that way.
Ganelon (Radek): Waste no part of the animal and all, y'know. Yeah, you've got the meat, bones, organs, and blood, but what about the life? That's where the old man comes in.
Gaurav (Rhu): What would happen if you ate the soul of a creature without killing the body?
Frezak (Gravy): In D&D? You just get a... mindless person. An awake but not concious body.
Ganelon (Radek): I guess it couldn't really feed itself, though.
Frezak (Gravy): Nope. It'd just stand there. Or sit. Or whatever position it was in when you sucked the soul out.
Radek takes his hunk and efficiently sucks out everything strictly beneficial about it and injects himself with that, leaving an awful, flavorless slab of dry meat behind.
Ganelon (Radek): It's how I'd eat if I were able.
Frezak (Gravy): It probably looks... icky. Grey. Dry. DEAD. It's the corpse of food.
The Gravedigger eats a leg of deerthing.
Rhu mimics the Gravedigger and tries to eat a leg of deerthing as well, but only gets through part of it.
They wind up throwing bits of the rest of it at the Greibel seagulls, which, though they're not acting all that intelligent at the moment, do seem to be aware enough to eat at the bits.
RADEK
Do you suppose his core intelligence was destroyed and we're simply feeding the instinct-driven remains of his 'body'?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or he could just be really stoned.
RHU
I'm sure he'll be back. Once he remembers how.
RADEK
I've never paid much mind to druids. They're always going on about nature, like it holds secrets we haven't exhausted millennia ago.
A worthless profession, druidism.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Could be a passtime.
RADEK
For this one?
RHU
I don't know about that, Radek. A druid set up the little tree at the rift, and possibly also the waterlike thing. Maybe once we convince Greibel to unbirdify, we could get his opinion on the magic underlying them.
While they're at this, the sun sets.
RHU
Let's get back before it gets too dark.
They pack up and head back.


EXT. Car over open wilderness - night
It's dark by the time they get back to where they found the deer. They can see the lights of the village in the distance, and also a bit of a glow from the direction of the hole...
There's no sign of anything much else around.
They head for the sinkhole for a quick look.


EXT. Hole at Vermai - night
Now, the hole is glowing. In general, everything looks about the same as it had been when they were first there, but now, in the darkness of night, with glow. The tree. The water. The air around it. Tendrils in the rocks around. As though the glow has been seeping through the ground and coming up in places...
The glowing stuff is in the air, even, sort of like mist, some blowing away in the evening breeze, bot mostly just lingering.
No sign of Azir or the other bird. No sign of bones. Just glowing.
Frezak (Gravy): SORRY AZIR. GOOD LUCK.
RADEK
Get me closer. In the air is fine.
They get closer while trying to not get too close.
RHU
If Greibel was around, we could get him to look at the shining tree branch and see if he can work out what druidic magic made it. But alas...
Rhu motions at the flock of seagulls in the back of the car.
Radek investigates the glow, but his results say it is totally... nothing. (rolled 29 arcana) They say it doesn't exist.
RADEK
This is...
Rhu prays for help, asking for any idea about what all the shining is about. (rolled 26 religion)
Suddenly the Greibel seagulls melt together and turn into Greibel.
RHU
GREIBEL!
GREIBEL
Hmmmmmmmmm...?
Greibel rubs his head and licks his lips at the thought of ice cheese.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, hey Greibel.
Radek sighs in relief.
RHU
Greibel, you're not... vegetarian, are you?
GREIBEL
What an interesting question to ask...
Well, I talk to animals and, like, turn into them. I tried eating meat after that but it was just too weird.
The Gravedigger averts his eyes and finds some interesting dust to look at.
RHU
Ah. Okay. Never mind. Forget I asked.
GREIBEL
(groggily)
Forget you asked what?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
LOOK! DUST!
At this point they just sort of head back to the village.
Ganelon (Radek): I'll have to explain to the innkeeper that I won't be speaking her language, literally, when we wake up. And unless she has a big storeroom full of magic junk for me to destroy, I likely won't be able to afford fixing that.


EXT. Hughenden inn - night
Some folks are loitering around the common room again, but not so many as the previous evening. It's a bit later this time.
A guy raises his mug at the party as they enter. The inkeeper raises an eyebrow.
The Gravedigger waves at the mug dude.
RADEK
Good evening.
INNKEEPER
Evening to ye. Didn't expect you back so soon, but I suppose that skiff of yours had something to do with that, didn't it? Or did you make it?
This time, however, the entire party can understand her.
RHU
That's not a 'skiff', it's a very fine shi - hey! I can understand you now!
INNKEEPER
Clearly.
(she leans forward)
So you all magically speak this now? This is new.
RADEK
I had no part in this.
RHU
Hmm. If it is a gift of the great Hazz'ridan, then maybe Greibel won't have it, since he was a flock of seagulls at the time?
RADEK
However, we did investigate that hole, even lost the paladin to it. I can say with certainty that it must be closed.
INNKEEPER
Lost?
RADEK
He's gone. Vanished. No traces.
INNKEEPER
I'm sorry to hear that. So four drinks it is.
RHU
He'll be back. I'm sure of it.
GREIBEL
(whispering incredulously to Rhu)
Weren't these people speaking other gibberish before?
RHU
(whispering back)
You are not going to believe what happened at the rift! Hazz'ridan spoke to us and cleared our minds! He spoke to me in my head! He seemed lost and confused.
GREIBEL
(whispering back)
Hazz'ridan, the God of dead ends, lost and confused. Who woulda thought?
RHU
(whispering back)
Every ending is another beginning. Hazz'ridan is at our side. We have a new goal now: to close the rift on this world. We cannot fail!
RADEK
I even sent a drone in to search for him. You might be interested to know that there is, in fact, another side.
INNKEEPER
Do tell.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Drinks? Drinks!
RADEK
Just three. I don't require nourishment.
INNKEEPER
Oh, love, it's not about requirements. Just try it. You won't regret a thing.
The innkeeper pours some very small mugs of stuff for everyone.
RANDOM VILLAGER
(quietly)
You'll just regret several other things.
Rhu looks disappointed at the mug size, but helps himself anyway.
RADEK
Liquids have not passed my lips in decades, ma'am. And recently I seem to have even transcended a need for oxygen.
INNKEEPER
Your loss.
She drinks Radek's for him.
RHU
Whah... how much for another one, these are delicious.
The innkeeper pours Rhu another.
INNKEEPER
Today's on the house.
GREIBEL
(to the others since Rhu is in a less whispery mood now)
So how do we close this 'rift' thing?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(dropping a pile of deerthing on the bar)
Hey, do you want these meat bits?
INNKEEPER
(eyeing the meat)
How much have you got?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Most of the animal. Minus what we had for lunch.
The innkeeper blinks.
INNKEEPER
Well, you've been busy. Sure, I'll take it. How much you asking?
The Gravedigger shrugs.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Whatever you want, it wasn't any trouble.
INNKEEPER
Here for the night, too? I'll give you ten. And do drink up.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sure.
The Gravedigger examines his drink. It's brown, almost reddish, and despite the small amount in the mug, the bottom is completely obscured.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(watching Rhu)
So what IS this?
RHU
Good lady, you are t... you are t...
Rhu is now examining the bartop with great interest.
The innkeeper pours Rhu another, almost grinning.
INNKEEPER
Shalott! The proper stuff, rather. Not like went bad and made your friend's... friend.
The innkeeper eyes the porridge, which is sitting on Greibel's shoulder.
The Gravedigger drinks his shalott.
RHU
HUH? HUH? I HEARD mnamesomesbdit.
Radek gives in and hands the innkeeper a syringe, indicating that she should put some of the shalott in that.
Ganelon (Radek): Because injecting alcohol straight into your bloodstream is how the pros do it, kids. Don't try this at home.
She takes the syringe skeptically and eyes it. Then she eyes Radek.
RADEK
...What? It's efficient.
INNKEEPER
If this kills you, I take no responsibility.
Unfortunately you've gone and got my interest, and the whole floor's watching...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(he lays a hand on Radek)
If you die, I'll bury you.
Rhu starts mumbling a dirty song.
The innkeeper mixes a very small amount of dark stuff with some other stuff and waters it down a bit and adds some other stuff and pours a bit into the syringe...
She holds it and pauses dramatically for a moment.
INNKEEPER
I can't think of anything dramatic to say.
She hands it over.
RADEK
Fear not. With this, I prove my own immortality.
Ganelon (Radek): He is not immortal.
Some of the villagers are now cheering him on. Urging him to do it.
One guy in the back mutters and shakes his head.
Radek injects the mixture into his arm.
There's a long silence.
Radek neglects to fall over dead.
RADEK
Keh heh heh.
Told you sooo - whoah.
The Gravedigger cheers and pats Radek on the back.
Everyone starts clapping and cheering.
RADEK
I had forgotten what this feels like.
GREIBEL
Huh... weird.
Rhu bangs on the bar a few times with his mug.
The innkeeper considers giving Rhu another and then pushes it toward Greibel instead.
Greibel looks at it for a moment before sipping it slowly.
The Gravedigger turns around to find that large guy from before standing abnormally close to him.
The Gravedigger gives him a look of the "what?" variety.
LARGE GUY
Hi.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hello? Something you need?
The large guy stares blankly.
The Gravedigger stares blankly right back.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oookayyy. Good luck with that.
The Gravedigger turns back around to see how Radek is coping.
Radek is happily muttering obscure formulae to nobody in particular.
The innkeeper looks really proud of herself for this.
Rhu notices the muttered formulae, tries to figure out how some possibly related song goes, fails, and returns to persuing the bartop.
A moment later, Rhu is sprawled forward across it, fast asleep.
The Gravedigger picks Rhu up and squeezes past the large guy, who is still standing right behind him, whacking the guy with a bunch of Rhu in the process.
The large guy just stands there looking confused.
Rhu wakes up a bit.

RHU

Huh? Wha? Wh?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're going to bed, little man.
RHU
Hmf. No. Not sleepy. Five more minutes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Shhhhh.
He heads up the stairs, and Greibel and Radek follow.


INT. Hughenden inn upstairs - night
The Gravedigger dumps Rhu with Greibel and steers Radek into another room with himself, since Radek doesn't sleep anyway.
Ganelon (Radek): He's a diligent guard. Except for the part where he pays no attention.
While the others sleep, Radek gets to work on another eyebot, this one with possible drunken 'enhancements'.