Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 1"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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{{holes nav
Apheori (GM): HALP.
|top=true
Ganelon: Of all people to know what we're doing, you should be the one.
|previous=
Apheori (GM): ...er.
|next=Holes/Session 2
I should but I'm not.
}}
I don't.
 
I mean.
== Background ==
Frezak (GM): >.>
 
Ganelon: Then Frezak has likely failed in his duty to instruct you.
Seven days ago, there had been nothing particularly special about Sarathi. It was a planet of mostly water, with cities and villas floating on the surface of the ocean, a popular vacation destination for the middle class, and a home to the well-to-do.
Frezak (GM): Hey!
 
Bear Soup Guy: It's okay
Six days ago, the entire planet of Sarathi went silent. Transmissions quit over the course of several hours. Pings timed out and got lost. Those who went down to the surface never came back. Then the odd energy readings began. Not signal or anything identifiable, just strange noise rising from the planet's surface... and no clues as to any meaning.
Ganelon: And he is entirely responsible.
 
Frezak (GM): HEY
It was declared a cataclysm. The gods were stirring. The political situation was a mess. A single job posting from an as-yet unnamed company went out, calling for groups of four - a scientist, a mystic, a strong-arm, and a priest. These would investigate. Get to the bottom of it.
Apheori (GM): I'll go with that.
 
Bear Soup Guy: It's a little known fact that no Dungeon Master has ever known what they're doing
The first such group to answer the posting was a group of elves led by a Radek J. Fulvius. His interest was in the cataclysm itself, for he was the scientist. The others he cobbled up from various worlds on the way to fill the other roles - Rhu, the priest; Greibel, the mystic who had been sleeping on Rhu's couch; and the Gravedigger, the warrior - and when they showed up at the Company headquarters, they were interviewed, obligated to sign some papers, equipped, and sent on their merry way. They had three tasks: figure out what happened, keep in touch, and don't die.
Frezak (GM): Your gnoll is getting Dire Fleas, Gan.
 
Bear Soup Guy: That's why they get to be creative
== Session ==
Apheori (GM): Frezak: What should we do now?
 
Frezak (GM): Maybe discuss how and why our party was hired to do the thing?
<screenplay>
Apheori (GM): Okay.
 
So there was this job posting looking for group(s) of specified folks to investigate the recent cataclysm that affected the cities of Sarathi.
EXT. Space above Sarathi - day
How did your group get together?
 
Frezak (GM): Unless anyone had any desire to bury anyone, I'm unlikely to have known them beforehand.
A small transport comes to the planet and enters some sort of orbit.
Ganelon: Sarathi is where we're going, or where we are?
 
Apheori (GM): Where you're going. That's where it starts.
 
Gaurav: Do we all have to start on the same planet, or would the ad have been sent across the universe?
INT. SHIP - space
Bear Soup Guy: I was doing the fantasy setting equivalent of sleeping on someone's couch
 
Ganelon: What do we know about it to start off, then?
The Gravedigger and Rhu are sitting around, waiting. Radek is tinkering with something or other. Greibel is sitting next to a screen smoking something questionable.
Sleeping in someone's stables, BSG.
 
Apheori (GM): You all met up and got hired as a group. You can all be FROM wherever.
GREIBEL
Bear Soup Guy: Stables it is
If you find the area of highest capable technology, you'll probably find the most likely devices or resources to inform you of what's going on.
Apheori (GM): Rob: You were probably staying with one of the others, then.
 
Ganelon: Nah, I mean, what do we know about Sarathi?
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): If we find the area of highest tech, we might also find rockets, is what I'm worried about.
Apheori (GM): And just came along.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah exactly
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Good point Guarav. As a pacifist hippie, I must express similar concern.
Apheori (GM): It was one of the nicer worlds. Affluent. Cities floating on the ocean.
 
Bear Soup Guy: There was promise of payment and I'm down on my luck as far as that goes
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Very well-maintained and crap.
Find a large city and look about for anything noticeable? Lights in the dark? Big holes?
Then suddenly it went dark, nobody heard from it.
 
Gaurav: BSG: you're welcome to have been staying at my apartment. I have a messy apartment.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Bit of a news story across the known 'verse, really.
That is it precisely.
Bear Soup Guy: Which will also explain if I'm slightly incompetent because I'm not really experience in doing these jobs. I just sort of tagged along.
(he pauses)
Gaurav: How long ago did it go dark?
I talk super sophisticated when I'm stoned.
Ganelon: Alright then.
 
If that's the case, Radek is probably interested in the cataclysm itself.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Wasn't very long ago. A few days. Maybe a week.
Suuure.
Bear Soup Guy: Right, I was staying with Gaurav then
 
Apheori (GM): Governments didn't want to get involved because of politics - any specific one acting on its own could draw the wrath of the others, despite them all having an interest in it.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: He would have signed up out of personal curiosity.
It comes from, like, the tribal people I used to live with and stuff. That's when they did all their big thinking.
And hey, funds are always nice too.
 
Apheori (GM): So several of the worlds agreed to contract it out to this generally unaffiliated company, which is who hired you.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Who is financing this thing, then?
Riiiiight.
Apheori (GM): The company, basically.
 
They got a grant or five and it's up to them what to do with the actual money.
Greibel blows a smoke cloud defiantly in the Gravedigger's face.
Frezak (GM): And WE'RE the best applicants?
 
Or was there no-one else at all?
The Gravedigger breathes it in. His Constitution laughs at smoke.
Apheori (GM): I'ma guess Radek is the one who put together the actual group.
 
Bear Soup Guy: We're the applicants who would take the job
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Because let's face it.
(smiling coyly at the Gravedigger)
I'm a guy with a shovel.
This will be interesting.
Gravy is not an elite... anything;
 
Apheori (GM): I think there were several groups, but that you guys actually got someone to fill all the specified roles made you look pretty good, so... yeah.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Do we know of any rogue nation or company we think might be particularly interested in beating us to Sarathi? I could roll that as an insight or history check for that if you like.
(ignoring him)
Apheori (GM): Gravy looked good enough for a guard.
Frezak (GM): And clearly insane.
Bear Soup Guy: Ooo, good point Rhu
Frezak (GM): INTRIGUE?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Many - even the worlds that contracted out for this venture.
Bear Soup Guy: Someone might be going freelance or something
Gaurav: Ah, nice.
Bear Soup Guy: Remind me which character is which between Ganelon and Guarav again?
The G's confused me
Apheori (GM): It's an entire world, and lots of folks are interested for all sorts of reasons, but a few randoms already went missing as well when they tried to check it out.
Frezak (GM): Gan is Radek.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, thanks
Apheori (GM): Which is part of why your team had to have the roles it did. The Company wanted to cover the bases. Sort of.
Frezak (GM): SO have people just... looked at the world? From spaaace?
Apheori (GM): It looks normal.
Frezak (GM): Any people?
Bear Soup Guy: This keeps reminding me more and more of the plot of Serenity
Apheori (GM): There have been some odd energy readings, but nobody's entirely sure what they are.
Bear Soup Guy: Which, by all accounts, is a good thing
Frezak (GM): Is this like Miranda in the Firefly movie?
Bear Soup Guy: ahahahah
Apheori (GM): There don't seem to be people, but that doesn't necessarily mean much - it's entirely possible that most everyone is still alive and just... inside.
It is a bit like Miranda in presentation.
Frezak (GM): Is there any non-person life visible?
Bear Soup Guy: Different conclusion I imagine
Apheori (GM): Have you seen Stargate Atlantis? The cities themselves are a bit like that.
Frezak (GM): I have not.
Apheori (GM): No odd life visible.
Particularly odd is there doesn't seem to be any animal life, either.
Bear Soup Guy: I'll research some Stagate Atlantis for at least the visual aid
Frezak (GM): Ahhh.
Gaurav: Huh. Creepy.
Frezak (GM): Plantlife seem.... okay? As far as can be seen from spaaace?
Gaurav: So are we learning this at the company briefing, or are we already in orbit?
Apheori (GM): Plantlife is fine.
Bear Soup Guy: But at least we didn't have to kamikaze our way through a Reaver horde!
Apheori (GM): I guess now you're in orbit or something.
Or... I dunno.
Frezak (GM): And all communications stopped at once?
Nothing since?
Not even... empty broadcasts?
Apheori (GM): A lot of this is common knowledge since it was in the news.
Bear Soup Guy: Oooo, orbit is good for the story/roleplay stuff
Frezak (GM): Spaaaace
Apheori (GM): They stopped over the course of a few hours. That's the weird part.
Normally when something like this happens it's all at once.
Or it doesn't entirely stop.
Bear Soup Guy: Incidentally this is my total wet dream for a first D&D experience
Gaurav: Can we get a tape of the final hours from the company? Or, like, Youtube?
Bear Soup Guy: God I love sci-fi
Gaurav passes BSG some tissues.
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Apheori (GM): There have been some intermittent odd things that might have been transmissions. It's hard to tell.
Greibel: And I'm diggin' it, man.
Far out.
The Gravedigger: Shut up or I'll put in a hole again.
Apheori (GM): The gods seem somewhat interested as well, but despite that they don't seem to want to touch it. Ansty priests and stuff.
Frezak (GM): Hmmmm.
Apheori (GM): Which is why you have a priest guy now.
Frezak (GM): And did any of the previous people ever get to send any report at all?
Bear Soup Guy: Ah, so this is cosmically significant even
Apheori (GM): Because the company noticed it.
Bear Soup Guy: We don't know that of course
Apheori (GM): None of them sent anything useful.
Bear Soup Guy: So we're tampering with matters we couldn't hope to understand
Gaurav: Can I do a religion check to see if Hazz'ridan can tell me anything about the planet, or why the gods seem angsty about it?
Frezak (GM): Do we know how long they lasted before losing contact? The other exploratory people?
Apheori (GM): Messages that they were headed there, a note home that hey, this was weird, it's like this outpost is completely empty...
Hazz'ridan doesn't seem to give a crap.
It's only a few that have, really - Tanneas, Lissal, Ajirahd, Lokshmi...
And one other I can't quite recall.
You do not.
They weren't checking into anyone on any regular basis.
Gaurav: Hmm okay. Let's talk strategy: should we land in the most densely populated place we can find, or poke about a small village first?
Apheori (GM): You guys are supposed to be checking in regularly, however.
Just as a note.
There are like three things you're supposed to do - figure out what happened, keep in touch, and don't die.
Bear Soup Guy: Quite a list of demands
Will the people we're checking in with be giving us orders on occasion?
Apheori (GM): They may.
Bear Soup Guy: Also what Gaurav asked
Apheori (GM): Depending on what you have to report.
As for what Gaurav asked, that's up to you.
Gaurav: I was asking the party.
Apheori (GM): You can land wherever, go off to the landmass and get soil samples or something first if that's what you think will help...
Frezak (GM): So do we all have maps and... some kind of communication device?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): GOOD maps?
Not just orbital crap?
Apheori (GM): General layout of the planet and blueprints of the cities. Not necessarily up to date.
Frezak (GM): Gah.
Apheori (GM): Or useful.
Gaurav: What sort of ship are we in? Will we be beamed down, or can the ship land with us? Or -- even better -- fly low and look at stuff?
Frezak (GM): DO WE GET JETPACKS?
Apheori (GM): You'll be landing. You can fly over.
No.
Gaurav: It's a sophisticated planet that only went dark a few days or weeks ago. I'm guessing they have Google Street View.
Ganelon: That would require satellites.
Apheori (GM): Not in any way that's helpful.
Ganelon: Well, Maps would.
Apheori (GM): Regarding the street view.
You have maps. They just may not be usefully labelled.
Ganelon: Street View would require an organization to go take photos of each street, which is of dubious value without a satellite map
Apheori (GM): Also I don't know how to implement that in practice, so they may not be useful at all, but never mind that. >.>
Bear Soup Guy: Street view takes a remarkably high amount of real-time maintenance to keep up-to-fate
Not to mention who knows when a server might fail or something
To that end, are the electricity and other resources functioning still?
Apheori (GM): It mostly seems to be off.
Some things are still on, some lights around, some computers probably up, but they're isolated.
Gaurav: I suggest we fly lower over like an obscure village and have a closer look, keeping a sharp eye out for rockets, sperm whales or bowls of petunia.
Apheori (GM): When you get in, that's probably something you'll want to look into - the computers, getting local power on, etc.
They don't really do obscure, just remote.
Frezak (GM): Wait for night.
Then fly around looking for light?
Bear Soup Guy: Excellent idea Frezak
Gaurav: YES!
Apheori (GM): So what you call an 'obscure village' is probably really a resort or manor or something.
Frezak (GM): I am super smart.
Ganelon: Radek is just eager to land and do readings.
Apheori (GM): So you want to fly around to the night side of the planet?
Bear Soup Guy: Of course if we're flying in a spaaace ship we don't even have to "wait" for night
Apheori (GM): And the other guy wants to land...
Bear Soup Guy: Just go to the side of the planet the star isn't shining on
Apheori (GM): SMART PERSON!
Gaurav: YES!
Bear Soup Guy: Oh duhr, Apheori already said what I just said >_<
Frezak (GM): TO THE DARKNESSSS
Apheori (GM): Sorry.
Ganelon: He's not concerned about the problems the planet is facing so much as what caused them.
So don't mistake it for recklessness. It's actually apathy.
Apheori (GM): Well, do something. It's your ship, at least for the time being.
Bear Soup Guy: But we can find out what caused them by finding things still powered perhaps
Maybe I should be in character
Frezak (GM): So is one of use piloting it?
And is the ship armed at all?
Apheori (GM): I think you're mostly just telling it what to do.
"Ship: Go over there!"
Frezak (GM): Huh.
Greibel: If you find the area of highest capable technology, you'll probably find the most likely devices or resources to inform you of what's going on
Apheori (GM): It can shoot things, but mostly it's just fast. A transport thingy.
Gaurav: If we find the area of highest tech, we might also find rockets, is what I'm worried about.
Bear Soup Guy: Good point Guarav
Gaurav: Let's start by going to the dark side of the planet at orbital altitute and see if we see anything?
The Gravedigger: Find a large city and look about for anything noticeable?
Apheori (GM): Be your character if you're going to point things like that out, please.
Bear Soup Guy: As a pascifist hippie, I must express similar concern
The Gravedigger: Lights in the dark?
Big holes?
Bear Soup Guy: Oh okay, character time
Greibel: As a pascifist hippie, I must express similar concern
I talk super sophisticated when I'm stoned
The Gravedigger: Suuure.
Greibel: Which comes from like, the tribal people I used to live with and stuff
That's when they did all their big thinking
The Gravedigger: Riiiiight.
So. We all for checking out the dark side?
So. We all for checking out the dark side?
Greibel blows a smoke cloud defiantly in the gravedigger's face
 
Greibel: Yes, the dark side is most likely where we'll find the most information
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger breathes it in. His Constitution laughs at smoke.
Yes, the dark side is most likely where we'll find the most information.
Greibel smiles coyly at the gravedigger
 
Greibel: This will be interesting.
RADEK
Radek: Whatever caused this planet to go silent has probably long since passed. Finer observations are required if we expect to learn anything useful.
Whatever caused this planet to go silent has probably long since passed. Finer observations are required if we expect to learn anything useful.
The Gravedigger: We in a rush, now?
 
Radek: Yes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: We can't do the obvious things. Doing the obvious things is why everybody who's come here since it went dark is probably dead.
We in a rush, now?
Greibel: My brother
 
Think outside the box
RADEK
Right on
Yes.
The Gravedigger: We should take it easy.
 
Check what we can without dirtying our feet.
RHU
We can't do the obvious things. Doing the obvious things is why everybody who's come here since it went dark is probably dead.
 
GREIBEL
My brother. Think outside the box. Right on.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We should take it easy. Check what we can without dirtying our feet.
We'll end up down there soon enough. Might as see what knowledge we can glean first.
We'll end up down there soon enough. Might as see what knowledge we can glean first.
SHIP: Your orders?
 
The Gravedigger: TO THE DARK SIIIIIIDE
SHIP
Frezak (GM): Really, really loudly.
Your orders?
18 CON lungs, here.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(really, really loudly)
TO THE DARK SIIIIIIDE.
 
Radek grumbles incoherently.
Radek grumbles incoherently.
SHIP sighs happily and starts drifting toward the dark side of the planet.
 
Frezak (GM): Gravy is enjoying this immensly.
The SHIP sighs happily and starts drifting toward the dark side of the planet. Then it starts humming merrily.
Rhu admires the Gravedigger's lung capacity.
 
Frezak (GM): Wait 'till we find a straw house.
GREIBEL
SHIP starts humming merrily.
Right on, ship sistah! That's my jam!
Greibel: Right on, ship sistah!
 
That's my jam!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Sandwiches?
Sandwiches?
Rhu wanders around the ship in search of a good cup of tea.
 
SHIP makes some sandwiches.
Rhu wanders around the ship in search of a good cup of tea. The SHIP makes some sandwiches and drops them on the Gravedigger's head.
SHIP drops them on The Gravedigger's head.
 
The Gravedigger reaches up and eats the sandwiches.
The Gravedigger reaches up and eats the sandwiches.
The Gravedigger: You are a great ship, SHIP.
 
Greibel: I would love a cup of chamomile while you're over there Rhu
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SHIP: I know!
You are a great ship, SHIP.
Nobody ever appreciates it, you know. All the hard work a ship puts in.
 
SHIP
I know!
Nobody ever appreciates it, you know. All the hard work a SHIP puts in.
 
GREIBEL
I would love a cup of chamomile while you're over there, Rhu.
 
Two teacups materialise out of a slot.
 
SHIP
Your tea is ready.
Your tea is ready.
Rhu hands Greibel a cup.
 
Rhu: Mm, delicious! The fishy aftertaste really gives it a nice kick.
Rhu takes the tea and hands Greibel a cup.
Greibel: Thank you SHIP and thank you Rhu
 
Frezak (GM): Delicious.
RHU
Rhu: Are we nearly there yet?
Mm, delicious! The fishy aftertaste really gives it a nice kick.
Apheori (GM): So anyway, dark side. The ship puts up a screen to show you a whole lot of black and some random twinkly things.
 
Greibel has to go to the bathroom
GREIBEL
SHIP: You're most welcome, polite meat creatures.
Thank you SHIP and thank you Rhu.
Frezak (GM): Random twinkly things?
 
Any of them located in major urban areas?
SHIP
Apheori (GM): Griebel finds the bathroom in the back.
You're most welcome, polite meat creatures.
They look like they might be urban areas. It's hard to tell.
 
Frezak (GM): The toilet is a mimic.
RHU
Can't we compare with your shitmaps?
Are we nearly there yet?
SHIP: There aren't any squirrels down there.
 
Apheori (GM): Ah, good point.
Greibel heads to the bathroom in the back of the ship.
 
The ship helpfully puts up a screen to display a whole lot of black and some random twinkly things. They look like they might be urban areas, probably the floating cities of Arish and Meregan, as well as another that appears to be sitting in the middle of the ocean.
 
SHIP
There aren't any squirrels down there.
 
The Gravedigger gasps.
The Gravedigger gasps.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, they probably belong to two of the cities - Arish and Meregan. Another twinkly thing appears to be in the middle of the ocean.
 
Rhu: Huh. That's unusual.
RHU
Frezak (GM): I assume Radek is clenching on his seat or something.
Huh. That's unusual. I vote we go investigate the oceanic twinkly.
PLastered to a window, perhaps.
 
Rhu: I vote we go investigate the oceanic twinkly.
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Greibel is at the sink and the ship keeps giving him toothpicks.
Frezak (GM): Does the SHIP have some kind of zoom camera thing?
 
Apheori (GM): Question - what's the check for noticing odd things?
Rhu realises the ship might be going insane. ''(rolled 20 insight)'' Something about how it wasn't doing anything like this until it got here.
Is there a check for that?
 
Frezak (GM): Perception.
RHU
Apheori (GM): The ship can do lots of things. Ask it.
Shit. Guys. Guys. Guys. I think this ship might be going insane.
Rhu: Perception for sensing things, Insight for making sense of things we can already sense.
 
Ganelon: As if I need windows.
SHIP
Apheori (GM): How do we have you all roll insight to realise something that might be important?
Please go on.
Gaurav: woo rolls!
 
Ganelon: Ask and we roll.
Greibel comes back from the bathroom wearing a funny toothpick hat.
Frezak (GM): You just tell us to.
 
Apheori (GM): But... how do they work?
RADEK
>.>
I'm holding the hippie responsible.
Frezak (GM): Okay.
 
We all roll out Insight skills.
Greibel looks surprised.
D20+skill.
 
And you have/make up a ... list.
RHU
Of how big a result tells us what.
(suddenly realising how stupid what he said was)
LIke: 15: the water is wet.
...insanely good at its job! Great job, SHIP! That tea was great!
Frezak (GM): 20: the water is a mouth.
 
Apheori (GM): Okay.
SHIP
Ganelon: For example: "10 means they can tell the lights are flickering slightly" or something of the sort.
Would you like me to bring you down?
You can have multiple levels or just one number for the single relevant detail.
 
Apheori (GM): Everyone but Greibel roll insight.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon:
I don't know about the tea. But I liked the sandwiches.
rolling 1d20+2
(
5
)
+2
=
7
Frezak (GM): Sure Insight and not perception? >.>
Rhu: The last D&D game I played, a house rule was that any roll of '1' means that something awful happens, and any roll of '20' means that something awesome happens.
rolling 1d20 + 4 insight check
(
16
)
+4
=
20
Apheori (GM): For this, yes.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+1
(
8
)
+1
=
9
Ganelon: 1 means automatic failure, by the book.
Frezak (GM): I'd just like to point out that I have super perception.
Ganelon: Anything beyond failure is up to the DM.
Frezak (GM): I have eagle eyes.
And the logic capacity of a dead fish.
Gaurav: I have +11 on perception
Gan: yeah, but we pushed it to cartoon silliness. Like, a natural 1 on perception and your eye falls out of your skull or something.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so the rest of you may have been noticing something's a little weird about this so far, but Rhu... you realise the ship might be going insane.
Frezak (GM): AWESOME.
Greibel: I am back from the bathroom (and also have pretty good perception I think, I have to get out my sheet)
Gaurav: o.0
Rhu: curses
guys
guys
I think this ship might be going insane.
Apheori (GM): Something about how it wasn't doing anything like this until it got here.
SHIP: Please go on.
Radek: I'm holding the hippie responsible.
Greibel: Oh perception and insight are both nine
Sexy
Also that wasn't in character, curse this UX
It's bringing us down, man!
Rhu: ... insanely good at its job! Great job, SHIP! That tea was great!
SHIP: Would you like me to bring you down?
The Gravedigger: I don't know about the tea.
But I liked the sandwiches.
SHIP, do you have some kind of zoom camera thingy you can do to take a look at the light in the sea?
SHIP, do you have some kind of zoom camera thingy you can do to take a look at the light in the sea?
SHIP: Of course, dear.
 
The Gravedigger: Without having to dive or anything?
SHIP
I'm not a great swimmer.
Of course, dear.
Apheori (GM): The ship zooms in with a screen and you see a bunch of wreckage with a bunch of glowing blobs stuck to it.
 
Greibel: :O
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): What.
Without having to dive or anything? I'm not a great swimmer.
Greibel: Is it a spaceship wreckage or a sea vessel wreckage?
 
Frezak (GM): Do we roll to identify the blobs?
One of the screens zooms in a bunch, showing a bunch of wreckage with a bunch of glowing blobs stuck to it.
Ganelon: Yes, I would like to attempt to identify these blobs.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek recognises it as spaceship blobs.
RADEK
Er, wreackage.
That's a downed ship.
>.>
 
Radek: That's a downed ship.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Hmmmm.
Hmmmm.
Frezak (GM): And the blobs?
 
SHIP: I aspire to that.
SHIP
Radek: You shouldn't, SHIP.
I aspire to that.
The Gravedigger: You want to sink?
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: Roll something to recognise the blobs. It's probably technology or something and I don't know what's appropriate.
RADEK
Also the ship doesn't answer.
You shouldn't, SHIP.
Ganelon: Just answer me two questions.
 
Rhu does a perception check to look for any servicable panels or manuals in the cabin we're in.
He moves to take a closer look at the blobs, and adjusts a screen or something. ''(rolled 25 tech/arcana)''
Apheori (GM): And it's drifting toward Meregan.
 
Rhu:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20+11
You want to sink?
(
 
1
The ship doesn't answer, and drifts slowly toward Meregan.
)
 
+11
Rhu looks around to try to find any servicable panels or manuals in the cabin, and finds a manual of style. ''(rolled 12 perception (natural 1))''
=
 
12
He picks it up and then immediately puts it back upon realising what it is.
Ganelon: What of the six attributes does it scale off of, and could I be considered trained in this field of study/knowledge?
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu finds a manual of style.
RADEK
The Gravedigger: You pour tea into your eyes.
And those lights are... organic power cells? I've never seen them do something like that before.
OOC
 
Frezak (GM): Your eyes are chamomiled.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: ACK
That sounds sort of bad.
Apheori (GM): Gan: It's intelligence-related, and you've probably got some experience with it.
 
Rhu: intensely refreshed, but also burning.
SHIP
Ganelon: Okay then.
It looks painful.
rolling 1d20+10
Do you know what it's like to not feel pain? Makes you almost wish you could.
(
 
15
Greibel sympathizes with the ship in a synesthesia sorts of way.
)
 
+10
SHIP
=
Thank you, dear.
25
 
(Intelligence mod is 5, training is another 5)
Rhu walks over to the bathroom and has a look at the escape pods. They look like escape pods.
Apheori (GM): They're deformed power cells that seem to have... grown somehow.
 
And you don't think they
're where they're supposed to be.
Ganelon: Lovely.
Greibel: Perhaps they were an experiment in organic and technological combination?
Gaurav: Is there a standard place a ship like this would have escape pods?
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Not that you can tell.
It's too banged up.
Frezak (GM): Or parachutes? Sheet or grav-brake thingies?
Radek: And those lights are... organic power cells?
Rhu: No, I meant on SHIP.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
This ship.
The bathroom.
Radek: I've never seen them do something like that before.
The Gravedigger: That sounds sort of bad.
SHIP: It looks painful.
Do you know what it's like to not feel pain?
Makes you almost wish you could.
Rhu walks over to the bathroom and has a look at the escape pods.
Apheori (GM): The look like escape pods.
Rhu is just relieved that they're still around.
Rhu is just relieved that they're still around.
Greibel sympathizes with the ship in a synesthesia sorts of way
 
SHIP: Thank you, dear.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Can you zoom in on one of the urban light things, SHIP?
Can you zoom in on one of the urban light things, SHIP?
Rhu: SHIP: could you please zoom in on the lights in Meregan?
 
SHIP: Of course, dear.
SHIP
Apheori (GM): The ship shows you a very bright light that fills the entire screen.
Of course, dear.
Rhu: Woah!
 
Greibel: Well that was helpful
The ship suddenly displays a very bright light that fills the entire screen.
Also, way trippy
 
I should write a psychedelic jam about this
RHU
The Gravedigger: Maybe zoom out a little?
Woah!
Greibel: Ship, put on the light shield thing
 
Apheori (GM): Now it shows a view of the city. It looks mostly intact, with a couple of lights in some windows.
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: That looks promising.
Well that was helpful. Also, way trippy. I should write a psychedelic jam about this.
Apheori (GM): The ship's lights help - now you can see that the city really is mostly intact aside from a couple of missing towers.
 
The city is also getting a lot bigger.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Missing?
Maybe zoom out a little?
Apheori (GM): The tops are gone.
 
Frezak (GM): Sliced? Ripped off? Blown off? Melted?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Sliced.
Ship, put on the light shield thing.
The Gravedigger: Um. SHIP. Could you stop moving, please?
 
Apheori (GM): Very, very neatly.
Now it shows a view of the city. It looks mostly intact, with a couple of lights in some windows. The ship's lights also illuminate some of the buildings, revealing a city that is mostly intact aside from a couple of missing/broken towers. They look to have been sliced off somehow. Very, very neatly.
Rhu: Are any of the lights moving or flickering? Or are they all stable?
 
o.0
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: Wait, this is an ocean city?
That looks promising.
Apheori (GM): The lights seem stable.
 
All the cities are floating on the ocean.
On-screen, the city is getting a lot bigger.
Frezak (GM): Say what now?
 
SHIP: Of course, dear.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Floating on the ocean?
Um. SHIP. Could you stop moving, please?
What?
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
SHIP
They're on the water.
Of course, dear.
Frezak (GM): Raft-cities?
 
Apheori (GM): Basially.
The SHIP stops right next to the city.
Frezak (GM): And that's normal?
 
Apheori (GM): More like really big... barge cities.
RHU
For Sarathi, yes.
I don't like landing on a city on water. What if we can't get off?
Greibel: Okay, important question
 
Ocean planets do exist
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): There is a landmass.
Floating cities have been commonplace for hundreds of years.
Greibel: Is this a planet in which it's mostly ocean?
 
Oh okay
SHIP
Apheori (GM): They ignored it.
I miss squirrels.
Greibel: XD
 
Rhu: So there are no lights on land (ex floating cities) at all?
RHU
(that we can see from up here?)
(he sighs)
Apheori (GM): Right.
I guess we should land, then.
You're right next to this city now, though, mind.
 
Rhu: I don't like landing on a city on water. What if we can't get off?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
On the other hand, this does look like where the action is.
Any reason why not?
Apheori (GM): It's not likely to sink unless there's a serious explosion.
 
And by serious, I mean the entire thing goes out.
SHIP
It's a common technology you probably grew up around or something.
I can land you near a complete lack of squirrels.
I dunno.
 
Rhu: I'm worried about us getting stuck on the city. But that was a question for the party.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Though that needn't stop you from being paranoid.
(to the ship)
Rhu: It won't.
Tell me more about squirrels?
Greibel: Yeah, we're used to this
 
Floating cities have been commonplace for hundreds of years
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Flying cities, too. But those are more expensive.
Yes, I too would like to learn about these "squirrels".
Frezak (GM): Do we have some way of... telecommanding the ship?
 
Rhu: Are any of the cities within visual distance from the land mass? Or are they all right in the middle of the sea?
SHIP
Apheori (GM): You have earpieces that you can use to communicate with each other and with the ship. Or you will if you pick them up.
They're nice, you know. These squirrels. Fuzzy little things. Burrow into the skulls of humans and eat their brains.
We'll need to sort out inventory when you get off.
 
They all look pretty far out to sea on the map.
RHU
It's hard to tell they scales, though.
(babbling)
the
Because it's a city on water. I don't like cities on water. That's a terrible idea. But it seems to be our gate straight into... whatever is going on here.
SHIP: I miss squirrels.
 
Rhu: Sigh. I guess we should land on one of the cities, then. Maybe Meregan? The one we're hovering over at the mo'?
SHIP
The Gravedigger: ANy reason why not?
A Nadri invention, I believe. Do you know any Nadri?
Rhu: SHIP: Tell me more about squirrels?
 
SHIP: I can land you near a complete lack of squirrels.
RADEK
Greibel: Yes, I too would like to learn about these "squirrels"
They ''would'' do something like that.
SHIP: They're nice, you know.
 
These squirrels.
Rhu steps backwards until he can see the escape pods from where he's standing. Greibel suddenly runs past him and locks himself in the bathroom. Something about diarrhea.
Fuzzy little things.
 
Burrow into the skulls of humans and eat their brains.
SHIP sighs lengthily. Then there's a bit of a bump as the ship lands on one of the city's parking lots.
Rhu: Because it's a city on water. I don't like cities on water. That's a terrible idea. But it seems to be our gate straight into ... whatever is going on here.
 
SHIP: A Nadri invention, I believe.
Rhu runs to the door and tries to open it, but it doesn't open.
Bear Soup Guy: Is it okay if I invite someone in here to watch our game?
 
SHIP: Do you know any Nadri?
SHIP
Radek: They /would/ do something like that.
I am so depressed.
Rhu steps backwards until he can see the escape pods from where he's standing.
 
SHIP sighs lengthily.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): There's a bit of a bump as the ship lands on one of the city's parking lots.
Still the Squirrel thing?
Bear Soup Guy: I don't think I care.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Okie dokie
SHIP
It's Kip, by the way
There never even were any squirrels.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
Bear Soup Guy: He's intrigues by spaaace hippies
RHU
Rhu gets the fuck off the shop, pausing only to grab one of the earphones.
(staring at the door)
Rhu: ship, not shop
I'm sorry to hear that, SHIP.
Bear Soup Guy: Uh oh, how do I invite people?
(to others)
Apheori (GM): Send him the link, I think.
Does anybody know how to undepress a ship? ...did anybody know ships could get depressed? Because I didn't.
GUYS. INVENTORY.
 
Ganelon: Yes.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, so I need my tools.
I don't know anything about ships. I spent the last century digging holes.
The Gravedigger: I have... Lots of stuffs.
 
Frezak (GM): Shit.
RHU
OOC
(still staring at the door)
Bear Soup Guy: I have some thing I don't know how to use
I was punching people. They were worth punching, but... I wish I'd stopped to learn more about ships.
things*
 
Apheori (GM): OOC?
RADEK
Oh.
I'll check it for damage before we leave the surface.
Frezak (GM): Most of my gear is on my Journal.
 
Apheori (GM): Right.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Yeah, look at my journal as well.
Damage?
Bear Soup Guy: That didn't work so somebody add KipTardis89@gmail.com to the thing or something
 
Rhu: I have my maul and handgun. An amulet with a maze insignia is my implement and hangs around my neck. I am wearing cloth armour.
SHIP
Bear Soup Guy: If that's a thing
You think I'm damaged. That there is something WRONG with me.
Ganelon: There's only one thing not listed there, and that's whatever I require to do alchemy and other such pursuits.
 
Rhu: Plus the Adventurer's Kit.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): I'll just need to know what... Company things we get. Gun, earpiece, map ?
(loudly)
Apheori (GM): Radio thingies (earpiece), sidearms that are supposed to shoot lasers (you can leave those on the ship, though, if you don't want them), flashlights,
I NEVER SAID THAT. I LIKE YOUR SANDWICHES.
At least one of you will have a projection map and a tablet computery thing.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I'm going to go to the store to buy more beer and catch up when I get back
SHIP
Also add that kip guy
(accusingly)
So
He did.
Gaurav: Can we take a full Adventurer's Kit each? That includes rope, torches (i.e. flashlights), and a bunch of other useful things.
(much more pleasantly)
Apheori (GM): Yeah, you should probably each have one of those too.
Ganelon: Dibs on the computer.
Greibel is struck with a case of debilitating diarrhea, most likely from some hallucinogen Rhu gave him that he didn't trust to use on himself
Gaurav: o.0
Apheori (GM): And some dried food, water, a couple flashdrive type things...
Frezak (GM): I have trail rations, light items, a grappling hook, rope, bag, more bag, bottles, bed roll and my weaponry.
(Shovel, spade, armour, shield)
(handaxes)
Apheori (GM): And you all have these fancy jackets that are supposed to deflect energy weapons, but are three sizes too small for some reason.
Gaurav: Okay, my inventory is in my character bio as well now.
Frezak (GM): Can we use them as hats?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): Or split them open and use them as cloaks?
Apheori (GM): Or that.
Frezak (GM): So if some shoots lasers we all just turn our backs on them?
Synchronised?
Apheori (GM): You could probably give yours to a smaller character, to.
Snrk.
Frezak (GM): That's a point.
Ganelon: "Squad! About-face!"
Frezak (GM): Anyone want a laser-proof jacket thing?
Ganelon: "Show them your backs!'
Frezak (GM): SHOW THEM THE SKIN OF YOUR BUTTS, MEN
SHIP: I am so depressed.
The Gravedigger: Still the Squirrel thing?
SHIP: There never even were any squirrels.
Rhu: I'm sorry to hear that, SHIP. (to others) Does anybody know how to undepress a ship?
... did anybody know ships could get depressed? Because I didn't.
The Gravedigger: I don't know anything about ships.
I spent the last century digging holes.
Ganelon: I suppose I would know that?
What's the answer, though?
Rhu: I was punching people. They were worth punching, but ... I wish I'd stopped to learn more about ships.
Apheori (GM): Ships don't normally get depressed unless they're damaged.
Frezak (GM): Uh-oh.
Apheori (GM): And normally if that happens they check with the cloud and there's an alert and you're alerted.
Except this didn't happen.
Rhu: Huh.
Apheori (GM): And suddenly this occurs to you.
Frezak (GM): Occurs to WHO?
Apheori (GM): Gan's guy.
Frezak (GM): The techie people?
Rhu: I just want to double-check that I am in fact standing outside the ship at this point.
Frezak (GM): Must be tough to be the smart guy.
Radek: I'll check it for damage before we leave the surface.
Apheori (GM): You're standing by the door. The ship hasn't opened it yet.
The Gravedigger: Damage?
SHIP: You think I'm damaged.
That there is something WRONG with me.
The Gravedigger: I NEVER SAID THAT
I LIKE YOUR SANDWICHES
SHIP: He did.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Radek: Yes, my dear, and you're confirming that suspicion rather handily.
 
SHIP: I think you should leave now.
RADEK
Radek: I intended to.
Yes, my dear, and you're confirming that suspicion rather handily.
The Gravedigger: Oh, don't mind him.
 
He's a grumpy old man.
The door suddenly slams open and Rhu is blown out of the SHIP.
SHIP: Take your diarrhetic friend and go.
 
Radek: I'm the only person here who knows what he's talking about.
SHIP
The Gravedigger: ONly because we're not talking about holes.
I think you should leave now.
Rhu helps Greibel to his feet and limps with him towards to the door
 
The Gravedigger: If we were talking about holes, /I/'d be the smart person here.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The ship's door slams open and almost sucks Rhu out.
I intended to.
Roll a thingy if you fall on your face.
 
The Gravedigger: Hey, SHIP! That wasn't very nice.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon:
Oh, don't mind him. He's a grumpy old man.
rolling 1d20
(seeing Rhu is gone)
(
Hey, SHIP! That wasn't very nice.
9
 
)
Greibel is suddenly launched out of the bathroom.
=
 
9
SHIP
Rhu:
Take your diarrhetic friend and go.
rolling 1d20+7 acrobatics check to not fall on my face
 
(
RADEK
11
I'm the only person here who knows what he's talking about.
)
 
+7
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
Only because we're not talking about holes. If we were talking about holes, ''I'd'' be the smart person here.
18
 
Ganelon: Untrained in acrobatics and no dexterity, so +0.
The Gravedigger shrugs, picks up Griebel, slings him over a shoulder like a sack of hippy potatoes, and carries him out. Radek follows as well.
Apheori (GM): Gan falls on his face.
 
Er, Ry...
 
Whatever.
EXT. Sarathi parking lot - Night
Frezak (GM): I thought it sucked Rhu out.
 
Apheori (GM): Almost.
The Gravedigger, Greibel, and Radek find Rhu kissing the ground.
Frezak (GM): Since he was at the door with Greibel?
 
Ganelon: Oh, I thought that was all of us.
They're in a parking lot, surrounded by various large buildings. There are some other ships and cars, a couple of which seem to be totalled. There's also a random motorboat.
Frezak (GM): Huh.
 
Ganelon: My apologies.
A nearby sign helpfully indicates that this is the East-South Lot, open 22 hours. None of the lights they saw earlier are visible from here.
Rhu: Am I outside the ship yet?
 
Apheori (GM): Sure.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Are you all outside?
Keep safe, SHIP!
Rhu kisses the ground
 
Apheori (GM): The ship is giving you the silent treatment.
RHU
The Gravedigger: Keep safe, SHIP!
(to Radek)
Frezak (GM): And I'll plod out and just pick Greibel up.
Do you think the SHIP will be okay?
Hang him over my shoulder.
 
Rhu: (to Radek) Do you think SHIP will be okay?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): LIke a sack of hippie potatoes.
And don't let any strange men bury you! That would make me sad. If someone came and buried you.
Apheori (GM): Radek: It occurs to you that the ship might leave without you.
 
Heee, hippy potatos.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Okay, so I just need to know something right now.
Ganelon: Who designs a spaaace ship with enough autonomy to leave its crew behind?
''Are the designs of any race other than Nissai (his own) something Radek should have respect for? Or are they all crazy enough to make talking ships that can get offended?
The Gravedigger: And don't let any strange men bury you!
 
That would make me sad.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Oh, they all are; most just usually don't.
Apheori (GM): Kanatans (kanai).
 
Gaurav: Somebody who thinks the ship is worth more than its crew.
RADEK
The Gravedigger: If someone came and buried you.
(grumbling)
Apheori (GM): You should probably check in.
I didn't learn to build machines so that I would later be forced to reason with them.
And, uh, report the situation.
 
Radek probably has a thingy.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Out of ship earshot.
(looking at the sign)
Apheori (GM) is helpful.
Any clue which two hours its closed for?
Frezak (GM): How frequently are we expected to report?
 
Rhu: Wouldn't the ship have to transmit the message, though? Or do we have independent ways to transmit messages into spaaace?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Every so often, or if and when you find anything interesting.
If something is wrong with our ship - besides how it was made in the first place - I'm sure I can find out.
Rhu: SHIP is depressed. I think that qualifies as "interesting".
 
Apheori (GM): The ship would act as a relay (unless you use something in the city, but that may be broken).
THE GRAVEDIGGER
But the ship won't necessarily be able to listen in.
What, you think something fiddled with it, Radek?
It just need to be in range.
 
Rhu: Oh! Good.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): So. Transmit something!
I'm not making any guesses until I've had a look. Recent events suggest that a look is necessary, that's all.
Rhu looks around to see where we've landed.
 
Apheori (GM): You're in a parking lot. There are some other ships, a couple of which seem to be totalled.
RHU
There are various large buildings around.
Radek, can you make the report? I think you've got the tablet-computer thing.
Ganelon: Okay, so I just need to know something right now.
 
Frezak (GM): Spaaace ships or atmospheric ships,
THE GRAVEDIGGER
*?
Yeah. Do that thing. I'm gonna check out this motorboat.
Apheori (GM): Both.
 
And a motorboat.
The Gravedigger makes "brrrrm brrrrm" noises and heads over to the motorboat.
Frezak (GM): MOTORBOAT
 
DIBS
RHU
Ganelon: Are the designs of any race other than Nissai (his own) something Radek should have respect for?
(hovering over Radek)
Or are they all crazy enough to make talking ships that can get offended?
Things to report: lights randomly spread over the planet. We have landed in Meregan after our ship started acting... unhappy. There are spaceships and airships abandoned here. We'll report back when we have more.
Apheori (GM): Oh, they all are; most just usually don't.
 
Rhu looks around for some sort of board or signpost which might tell us where we are, like a big sign telling us we're in "Carpark at Evanstone and Mayfair" or something
Radek waves him away and calls in. A secretary answers and responds very cluelessly.
Apheori (GM): Some of these are nice, some not so nice. Most look like fairly middle-class vessels, not very long-rang or anything.
 
Apparently it's the East-South Lot, open 22 hours.
The Gravedigger's inspection reveals the boat to be a rather nice but broken motorboat. There's a large ragged hole in the bottom. Like someone punched an armoured fist through it.
Rhu: hah
 
Radek: I didn't learn to build machines so that I would later be forced to reason with them.
Rhu walks over to the Gravedigger and admires the hole in his motorboat.
Rhu: any clue which two hours its closed for?
 
Frezak (GM): How far is the nearest lighted building?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: If something is wrong with our ship - besides how it was made in the first place - I'm sure I can find out.
This looks weird. Are the other ships broken too?
Apheori (GM): You aren't even sure how many hours are in the Sarathi day.
 
Rhu: Oooh, right, the lights. Yes.
the Gravedigger goes to look at some of the other ships. They look fairly normal, but another one also has a large hole in it.
Apheori (GM): You can't actually see any of the lights from here, though.
 
The Gravedigger: What, you think something fiddled with it, Radek?
Greibel slides off the Gravedigger's shoulder, then staggers toward Rhu keeping his legs apart as much as possible.
Frezak (GM): But we'd have an idea.
 
Apheori (GM): You think one of them might have been on the other side of the nearby round one, though.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Sounds like a place to be.
I don't hate you, Rhu. I just wish you would've warned me.
Rhu: I wouldn't. I had my eyes closed for most of the time after the ship started getting depressed. Don't like ships. Especially depressed ships.
 
Radek: I'm not making any guesses until I've had a look. Recent events suggest that a look is necessary, that's all.
Rhu looks confused.
Apheori (GM): Report in first.
 
Or don't, but say you ain't.
GREIBEL
Rhu: Radek: can you do the report? I think you've got the tablet-computer thing.
Wait, it was Radek?
"make the report" even
 
The Gravedigger: Yeah. Do that thing.
Greibel winces and sort of waddles back over to Radek, and Rhu follows.
I'm gonna check out this motorboat.
 
The Gravedigger makes "brrrrm brrrrm" noises.
RADEK
Ganelon: I shall do the thing.
(on the phone/earpeice)
Frezak (GM): DO THE THING
Yes, hello, this is the genius speaking.
Ganelon: What does this involve?
 
Apheori (GM): It looks like a rather nice, but broken motorboat.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Frezak (GM): How broken?
Are you calling for one? Sorry, what?
Apheori (GM): Gan: You call in, tell them what you found.
 
You don't have any data to send, so just call.
RADEK
Rhu: Things to report: lights randomly spread over the planet.
You hired me to investigate the cataclysm of Sarathi. This is a report.
Ganelon: Right then.
 
Apheori (GM): There's a large hole in the bottom.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Frezak (GM): Neat or ragged?
Oh, right, of course! We still needed to get you set up in our computers, but it should all be in order now.
Rhu: We have landed in Meregan after our ship started acting ... unhappy.
 
Ganelon: Who/what am I calling? Does the company have a name or is "The Company" its name?
The secretary gives some instructions on how to send the notes directly into the database.
Rhu: There are spaceships and airships abandoned here. We'll report back when we have more.
 
Apheori (GM): It looks like someone punched an armoured fist through it.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
You have a number.
Just hit the button when you're done and it'll all update.
And everyone just calls it the company, apparently.
 
Ganelon: Alright, I'll call this number.
RADEK
Rhu walks over to Gravy and admires the hole in his motorboat
Marvelous. We've already landed and I'll be taking readings before the day is finished, but first, our ship has been behaving strangely.
Frezak (GM): What kind of hole is it?
 
Smooth or ragged? If ragged, punched from above or below?
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Apheori (GM): Ragged. Above.
(shocked)
Frezak (GM): Hmmm.
That's terrible! Include it in the report. Is there anything else you need?
Apheori (GM): Gan: A secretary answers and responds very cluelessly.
 
The Gravedigger: This looks weird.
Radek pauses for a moment.
Are the other ships broken too?
 
Radek: Yes, hello, this is the genius speaking.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Go look.
Yes, I would like to register a complaint.
Secretary: Are you calling for one?
 
Sorry, what?
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Radek: You hired me to investigate the cataclysm of Sarathi. This is a report.
Oh, yes? What kind of complaint?
Secretary: Oh, right, of course!
 
We still needed to get you set up in our computers, but it should all be in order now.
RADEK
Secretary gives instructions on how to send the notes directly into the database.
The rest of the crew that I've been saddled with are some of the most aggravating people I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with.
Secretary: Just hit the button when you're done and it'll all update.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Okay I'm back
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Are we still in the ship?
(loudly, from some distance away, examining a random ship)
Radek: Marvelous. We've already landed and I'll be taking readings before the day is finished, but first, our ship has been behaving strangely.
That's not very nice.
Frezak (GM): I'll go look at the other ships.
 
No, we're just outside.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Secretary: That's terrible! Include it in the report.
I'm sorry, this doesn't fall under any of the designated categories for appropriate complaints.
Is there anything else you need?
 
Ganelon: Oh, what, she doesn't want to hear about my problems personally?
RADEK
Greibel staggers outside, keeping his legs apart as much as possible
Well, it should!
Ganelon: I'm playing an old person. This will not do.
 
Greibel: I don't hate you Rhu, I just wish you would've warned me
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Apheori (GM): You get the idea the company isn't the best organised.
Is there anything else?
Frezak (GM): I may not be an engineer.
 
I may not be a mechanic.
RHU
I may not be a metallurgist.
(to Radek)
IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW.
Can we file a complaint against the inadequate complaint categories?
IT'S HOLES.
 
Radek: Yes, I would like to register a complaint.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Since they didn't set it up properly.
Yes. My legs are quite tired and your bloody ship has locked us out in a state of depression. No doubt I'll need to walk everywhere to get this job done, now.
Greibel: Wait, it was Radek
Apheori (GM): The ship locked you out.
Greibel: Radek is the other kind-of hippie
Radek gave me some diarrhea drugs
Secretary: What kind of complaint?
Rhu: Yes. All I smoke are cigarettes.
Secretary: Did I hear someone mention drugs?
Radek: The rest of the crew that I've been saddled with are some of the most aggravating people I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with.
The Gravedigger: That's not very nice.
Greibel: One love, man
Greibel whinces
Secretary: I'm sorry, this doesn't fall under any of the designated categories for appropriate complaints.
Radek: Well, it should!
Secretary: Is there anything else?
Greibel: Who is this secretary person?
Rhu: Can we file a complaint against the inadequate complaint categories?
(I say to Radek, not the secretary)
Apheori (GM): Radek called in to make a report.
Got a secretary, found out they were supposed to be using an app to add them directly to the database and that it hadn't been set up yet when they left.
Radek: Yes. My legs are quite tired and your bloody ship has flown off in a state of depression. No doubt I'll need to walk everywhere to get this job done, now.
I expect no less than a significant increase in salary for this affront.
I expect no less than a significant increase in salary for this affront.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry about that.
 
You have a nice day, now.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Secretary hangs up.
I am terribly sorry about that. You have a nice day, now.
Radek: Hrmph.
 
Rhu: Wait, SHIP hasn't taken off yet, has it? It's still here, just unhappy and with a locked door?
The secretary hangs up on him.
Apheori (GM): Hasn't taken off, no.
 
Ganelon: I thought it took off.
RADEK
Oh, my bad.
Hrmph.
Change it to "locked us out" then.
 
Apheori (GM): Meh, you can say whatever you want, no?
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Well yeah, but just because I'm quite possibly becoming senile doesn't mean I'm a compulsive liar.
Woah woah. This is so Lynchian.
Rhu: I think we should investigate SHIP before we go in search of the lights. It might tell us something about what's going on.
 
Frezak (GM): Of course he can make things up.
Rhu pretends to be investigating the ship but clearly has no idea what he's doing.
He's making a report.
 
Apheori (GM): Right.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Yeah, check it for external power cells >.>
This looks like a normal ship to me.
Greibel: Woah woah
 
Frezak (GM): Though I want to check out other ships in the parking lot.
GREIBEL
Greibel: This is so Lynchian
Do you think SHIP is holding out on us?
Rhu pretends to be investigating the ship but clearly has no idea what I'm doing.
 
Greibel: Do you think SHIP is holding out on us?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Don't be silly.
Don't be silly. It gave us sandwiches. Bad people don't give sandwiches.
It gave us sandwiches.
 
Bad people don't give sandwiches.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): So, yeah.
Oh, okay. I can never tell from the hallucinations.
Examining shipses.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The ship looks normal.
RHU
Rhu: This looks like a normal ship to me.
Greibel, are you any good at technology?
Greibel: Oh okay
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Other ships look fairly normal too. You find one with a hole in it.
GREIBEL
Greibel: I can never tell from the hallucinations
(he smiles helpfully)
Apheori (GM): Like in the boat.
I'm a stoned druid, Rhu.
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
I can log onto Facebook, but don't expect much more than that.
What's the... ground like? Dusty?
 
Rhu: Greibel: are you any good at technology?
RHU
Frezak (GM): By any chance?
(to Radek)
Apheori (GM): What the heck is religion?
Maybe you should give the ship a once over? I wouldn't get on board, though, it's liable to take off at any moment.
Greibel: Rhu: let me check
 
Frezak (GM): What?
RADEK
Rhu: Radek: maybe you should give the ship a once over? I wouldn't get on board, though, it's liable to take off at any moment.
Yes, yes. Coming.
Bear Soup Guy: Uh...what are the stats that say if I'm good at technology
 
I assume I'm not because hippie dirt man and stuff
The Gravedigger checks the SHIP for holes. ''(rolled 9 perception (natural 1))'' The SHIP dumps some fluid on his head.
Radek: Yes, yes. Coming.
 
Frezak (GM): Intelligence.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
ANd the DM telling you if you're trained.
Hey! That's not nice at all!
Apheori (GM): You're okay with technology, but not very good.
 
Ganelon: Shall I roll for this?
Radek chuckles to himself and also looks the ship over. He finds some scorch marks on the side. It looks like it may be the result of passing through a field of... bad stuff. Energy stuff. (rolled 27 technology)
Apheori (GM): You're a stoned druid.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Okay
RADEK
Greibel: I'm a stoned druid Rhu
There's some kind of abnormal damage over here...
I can log onto Facebook but don't expect much more than that
 
Bear Soup Guy: Also guys
Greibel looks on in bewilderment.
Frezak (GM): I will check SHIP for holes.
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: Sure.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bear Soup Guy: Somebody invite KipTardis89@gmail.com to the thing
Not a HOLE, is it?
He really wants to watch us dick around
 
Ganelon:
Radek examines the scorching more closely. (rolled 30 arcana (natural 20)) It looks like the sort of scouring that results from improper portal creation, like part of the hull went through a dimensional shift and burned slightly.
rolling 1d20+10
 
(
Greibel sees a squirrel and slowly approaches it. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
17
 
)
RADEK
+10
This... could be serious. Internal damage, maybe.
=
 
27
In the background Greibel does some communing with nature stuff and ends up placidly petting the squirrel. The squirrel nibbles and stuff, and rubs its head against Greibel's hand.
How's SHIP feeling?
 
Apheori (GM): Digger: Roll too.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): https://app.roll20.net/join/276367/h3A2Bg
Time and space are a cruel mistress, Rhu or Radek or whoever that was.
This.
 
Give him that.
Greibel exudes and aura of solemn knowingness. Then the squirrel runs off behind some skiffs. ''(rolled 6 reality)''
rolling 1D20+8
 
(
GREIBEL
1
Heh heh. Go along little buddy.
)
 
+8
The Gravedigger plods over to one of the more rounded buildings.
=
 
9
RADEK
haaaag
Did any of you notice us going through... portals?
Bear Soup Guy: Okie doke
 
SHIP dumps fluid on Gravy.
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: Hey! That's not nice at all!
Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me.  
Apheori (GM): You don't find any holes.
 
Radek chuckles to himself.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Radek: There seems to be some odd burning on the side. It looks like you might have passed through a field of... bad stuff.
That must be wonderful for you.
Energy stuff.
 
Apheori (GM) gestures vaguely.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Looks like DAMAGE?
However if there are shops in those buildings, chances are they're abandoned and we can just take some much needed provisions.
Apheori (GM): Portentially.
 
Could also be a normal result of spaaace flight.
RHU
Things often get burned and crap, but you don't think this is the case.
I... thought there was some strange static a couple of times on the way down. It couldn't be that, though, could it? The problem started up in space, before we even came down to his infernal planet.
Frezak (GM): Is the burn where a power cell might located near?
(he eyeballs the rising sun)
Radek: There's some kind of abnormal damage over here...
Ugh.
Apheori (GM): Those are more in back.
 
Greibel looks on in bewilderment
The sun beams merrily.
The Gravedigger: Not a HOLE, is it?
 
Rhu: There might be a fire extinguisher on board, but if you think I'm taking my feet off semi-solid land, you are sadly mistaken.
Rhu turns darkly away from the sun.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll a d20.
 
Ganelon: I don't suppose my magical talents would come in handy identifying the sort of energy, hm?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): You could try.
Hey, Sun.
Ganelon: I will try.
 
Apheori (GM): Magic and energy go together.
Then the Gravedigger steps into the shadow of the building. A door slides open at his approach.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+10
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
DOORS WORK, GUYS.
20
 
)
The Gravedigger heads inside.
+10
 
=
RADEK
30
I'll have to take a closer look when we have more time. Unintentional transportations can't mean anything good. How bad, I'll find out later.
Gaurav: WOAH
 
Ganelon: Wow, I'm doing great today.
He heads after the Gravedigger.
Frezak (GM): THE CURSE IS COMING, GAN.
 
Apheori (GM): Dammit, that means I need to figure out what it was myself. >.>
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): RADEK IS DOOOMED.
Be careful, though.
Ganelon: I know. It harrows me with fear and wonder.
(he goes to the door as well)
Mostly fear.
Maybe the doors and other power-using utilities are only operating on residual backup power. We should make the most of every power-using decision.
Apheori (GM): RAHB: ROLL!
 
Gaurav: Oh crap, Frezak's right. Don't roll all your high numbers out at once!
 
DM: you could redirect the natural 20 to something else if you need to, like have Radek see something in one of the buildings or something. I think.
INT. Sarathi building lobby - day
Greibel: OH SORRY
 
Just roll a normal d20?
The group enters the building and wind up in a lobby. It is pleasantly cooled, and smells like peppermint for some reason. There's nobody around, and the front desk is empty. Everything is clean and shiny.
Apheori (GM): Radek: It looks like the sort of scouring that results from improper portal creation, like part of the hull went through a dimensional shift and burned slightly.
 
Yes.
There are some stairs up, and some shops/service places off the the sides.
Frezak (GM): Crumbs.
 
Greibel:
Greibel, unlike the others, sees corpses everywhere. ''(rolled 16 reality)''
rolling 1d20
 
(
Rhu walks to a wall and touches it. Greibel sees him walk right through a corpse.
1
 
)
RHU
=
Shiny.
1
 
XD
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Radek: You also realise there could be much more significant damage inside if this is the case.
It really is.
Ganelon: Oh my.
 
Gaurav: Uh oh
RHU
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You see a squirrel.
Man, I wonder how they kept this place so clean. Not a speck anywhere.
Rhu speaks into my earpiece: "SHIP! Look! Squirrel!"
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You didn't see it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel slowly approaches the squirrel
Maybe there's a little robot with a vacuum cleaner thing. Or a magic dust-killing spell!
Rhu: Oh. Never mind then.
 
Radek: This... could be serious. Internal damage, maybe.
GREIBEL
Greibel doesn't wish to explain all the details of communing with nature and the like, but ends up placidly petting the squirrel
(staring)
Ganelon: Did *we* go through any portals?
Wooooooah. What. What?
Apheori (GM): The squirrel nibbles and stuff, and rubs its head against Greibel's hand.
 
Gan: Good question.
RHU
Did you?
Gotta be robots. No other way.
You didn't notice anything at the time, but...
 
Greibel: Time and spaaace are a cruel mistress, Rhu or Radek or whoever that was
Rhu tries to make out one of the signs, but is interrupted by Greibel.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll again.
 
Greibel solemn knowingness
GREIBEL
Greibel: Roll which>?
Guys, we need to get out of here, right now.
Apheori (GM): d20
 
Greibel: k
RHU
rolling 1d20
(turning)
(
What? Why?
6
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
What, not enough drugs?
6
 
Apheori (GM): The squirrel runs off behind some skiffs.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): We don't see any nearby shops, by any chance?
Look at these people. These were not natural deaths...
Greibel: heh heh
 
Go along little buddy
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Hmm...
I'll go check this shop. Maybe find a city map or something.
There might be some inside the rounded building.
 
The others look like office buildings and labs.
The Gravedigger heads into a bookshop.
Frezak (GM): I will go look at the rounded building.
 
Radek: Did any of you notice us going through... portals?
RADEK
Frezak (GM): And see if I can glimpse the light as I do so.
What people?
Apheori (GM): It looks like a big rounded building.
 
The sun is coming up.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): damn.
Gods dammit Gravedigger!
Greibel: Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me
 
Frezak (GM): DID I notice us going trhough a portal?
Finding nothing in the bookshop, the Gravedigger starts checking some of the other shops.
Greibel: However if there are shops in those buildings, chances are they're abandoned and we can just take some much needed provsions
 
Radek: That must be wonderful for you.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Rhu noticed some strange static a couple of times on the way down.
(cheerfully, over his shoulder)
He can roll a die if he thinks it matters. Or not.
Shut up, druggie!
Rhu: Insight? HIstory?
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You noticed nothing.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Hm.
You may not see the implements of my soul, but you can't tell me you don't see the agonized faces of these tortured corpses!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Whichever. Either it's worth mentioning or you attribute it to being paranoid and not liking the ship.
 
Rhu:
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20+4 insight check
Yes I can!
(
 
18
Rhu painstakingly examines all the shops one by one.
)
 
+4
GREIBEL
=
Radek! You can see this! Can't you?
22
 
Apheori (GM): It's worth mentioning, then.
GREIBEL
OR so you THINK.
You know the pain of perception!
Rhu: I ... thought there was some strange static a couple of times on the way down. It couldn't be that, though, could it? The problem started up in spaaace, before we even came down to his infernal planet.
 
Also: (to the rising sun) ugh.
Greibel shakes Radek by the shoulders.
THE SUN BEAMS MERRILY.
 
Apheori (GM): The building
RHU
Rhu turns darkly so my back faces the sun, my nemesis, He That Wakes Things In The Morning.
Guys. Something's not right. I can't put my finger on it. It's ... not the cleanliness. What's that smell?
The Gravedigger: Hey, Sun.
 
Apheori (GM): ´ d doors slide open as Frezak approaches.
Rhu walks up to the chiropractor and looks in the window.
The Gravedigger: Awesome.
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: Roll a d20.
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: DOORS WORK, GUYS
Rhu, that is the smell of DEATH.
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20
RHU
(
(he laughs)
6
I've smelled death. That is ''not'' death.
)
 
=
RADEK
6
Your breath is awful, but I wouldn't describe it as lethal. Get off of me.
Radek: I'll have to take a closer look when we have more time.
 
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Some of the corpses fade out of Greibel's sight. ''(rolled 10 reality)''
Frezak (GM): I'll head into the building, then.
 
Greibel: Be careful though
He suddenly stops and stares awe. Then he seems to compose himself and lets go of Radek.
Gaurav: Btw I should warn you that it's 3:40am here so I'm absolutely definitely must leave soon. Please go on without me! Rhu can trail along behind you guys.
 
Rhu: Wait! Don't split the party!
The glass of the chiropractor window suddenly disappears and Rhu falls into the shop. ''(rolled 2 reality)''
Frezak (GM): SHHH.
 
Greibel: Maybe the doors and other power-using utilities are only operating on residual backup power
The Gravedigger stops and smells the room. To him, it smells like bad magic. Like that time he tried to bury an illusion. ''(rolled 24 perception)''
Frezak (GM): Bye, Rave.
 
Apheori (GM): This might be a good place to break, anyhow.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: We should make the most of every piower-using decisioon
Guys! Guys guys guys!
Frezak (GM): gaaah
 
Radek: Unintentional transportations can't mean anything good. How bad, I'll find out later.
RHU
Gaurav: Soon. I can do another 20 mins
Er...
Apheori (GM): Okay.
(getting up)
So y'all are going in?
What's up, Gravedigger?
Gaurav: I'm hoping I'll stop then. But I might not.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I can stay here for several hours if others can
Everyone starts talking over each other.
Frezak (GM): It's only 23 here.
 
Rhu: I'll going in as long as everybody is going in. Otherwise I'm staying out here.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Well, Gravy is going right in.
(walking back to the others)
Ganelon: I'll follow.
Glass doesn't just ... disappear, does it?
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel is ready to go, although is pretty stoned and recovering from his bathroom incident
 
Apheori (GM) AWAITS.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
THE BUILDING AWAITS.
This doesn't smell like peppermint. It smells like.... illuuuusion.
Apheori (GM): Dammit.
 
Greibel, roll a d20 as you go in.,
GREIBEL
Bear Soup Guy: Where am I going into?
Everybody, I know I'm an outcast and a substance abuser, but listen to me.
Apheori (GM): Everyone else: You enter the building and wind up in a lobby. It is pleasantly cooled, and smells like peppermint for some reason. There's nobody around.
 
Everything is shiny.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The building, probably.
I tried burying one once. It was hard.
Frezak (GM): Desk.
 
Desk?
RADEK
Lobby?
(immediately perking up)
Bear Soup Guy: oh okay
Illusions?!
d20 then
 
rolling 1d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
I swear on my best shovel.
16
 
)
=
16
Rhu reaches out and touches a wall. "Shiny", he says.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, on the other hand, sees corpses everywhere.
Rhu: Man, I wonder how they kept this place so clean. Not a speck anywhere.
The Gravedigger: It really is.
Rhu: Are there any ways out of this room?
Apheori (GM): Greibel sees Rhu walk through a corpse on the way to the wall.
The Gravedigger: Maybe there's a little robot with a vaccum cleaner thing.
Or a magic dust-killing spell!
Greibel: WOOOOOOAH
WHAT
WHAT
Apheori (GM): There are some stairs up, and some shops/service places off the the sides.
Rhu: Gotta be robots. No other way.
Greibel: Guys, we need to get out of here, right now
Rhu reads the shop l--
Apheori (GM): The lobby also goes as a hall through the place to doors on the other side.
Rhu: What? Why?
The Gravedigger: What, not enough drugs?
Greibel: Look at these people
These were not natural deaths...
The Gravedigger: I'll go check this shop.
Maybe find a city map or something.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: They have a chiropractor!
Radek: What people?
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+11 perception check to see if I can see anything -- I'm not looking for corpses, just ... whatever has Greibel alarmed.
(
13
)
+11
=
24
Apheori (GM): Gravey walks into a bookeyshop.
The Gravedigger cheerfully call "shut up, druggie" over his shoulder.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You smell something weird, like ozone, behind the peppermint.
Frezak (GM): I'll look for mappy things. Or... newspapers.
Or news thigns.
Greibel: Gods dammit Gravedigger!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You also feel like you're missing something important.
Greibel: You may not see the implements of my soul, but you can't tell me you don't see the agonized faces of these tortured corpses!
The Gravedigger: Yes I can!
Rhu carefully looks at all the shops, one by one.
Greibel: Radek! You can see this! Can't you?
Apheori (GM): The books are all collectors' editions of famous works.
Greibel: You know the pain of perception!
Frezak (GM): Bah.
I'll try to find a shop that might have news things.
Greibel shakes Radek by the shoulders
Rhu: Guys. Something's not right.
I can't put my finger on it.
Ganelon: I suppose I'll have a look.
Rhu: It's ... not the cleanliness.
Ganelon: Perception?
Rhu: What's that smell?
Rhu walks up to the chiropractor and looks in the window
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll a d20.
Greibel: Rhu, that is the smell of DEATH
Frezak (GM): Perception on smells
rolling 1D20+8
(
16
)
+8
=
24
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You too.
Rhu laughs
Rhu: I'm smelled death. That is _not_ death.
I've*
rolling d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Some of the corpses fade out of sight.
Greibel stands in awe
Greibel tries to remember his teachings
Apheori (GM): Frezak: It smells like bad magic. Like that time you tried to bury an illusion.
Radek: Your breath is awful, but I wouldn't describe it as lethal. Get off of me.
Greibel slowly calms
Frezak (GM): Hey, guys!
The Gravedigger: Guys!
Guys guys guys!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The glass disappears and you fall through into the shop.
Rhu: What's up, Gravy?
The Gravedigger: This doesn't smell like peppermint.
Rhu Man, this glass is so ---
The Gravedigger: It smells like.... illuuuusion.
Greibel: Everybody, I know I'm an outcast and a substance abuser but listen to me
Rhu falls through glass
The Gravedigger: I tried burying one once.
It was hard.
Radek perks up immediately.
Rhu: Er
Radek: Illusions?!
Rhu: Glass doesn't just ... disappear, does it?
The Gravedigger: I swear on my best shovel.
Greibel: I may be hallucinating, but I saw many dead, lying here as though in repose
The Gravedigger waves his best shovel.
The Gravedigger waves his best shovel.
Greibel: These may be the illusions of a madman
 
Rhu stands up and walks over to Gravy
GREIBEL
Greibel: I think they are impartions from a cosmic force beyond our own
I may be hallucinating, but I saw many dead, lying here as though in repose. These may be the illusions of a madman. I think they are impartions from a cosmic force beyond our own. Something happened here.
Something happened here
 
Rhu: Something's wrong with the glass. It just ... vanished.
RHU
Greibel: And we are tasked to find out what that was
(to Gravy)
The Gravedigger: That sounds illlusory.
Something's wrong with the glass. It just... vanished.
Rhu taps on the glass at the bookstore Gravy is standing outside of.
 
The Gravedigger: Radek! You can do magic, right?
GREIBEL
Do... something?
And we are tasked to find out what that was.
Greibel: Well, gravedigger, you and I are wont to disagree
 
but I believe that these corpses did not simply vanish
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna just start poking random things with my shovel.
That sounds illusory.
Greibel: Someone used to live here
Radek! You can do magic, right? Do... something?
Did you not notice the lack of skeletons?
 
Bodies?
GREIBEL
Rotting flesh?
Well, Gravedigger, you and I are wont to disagree. But I believe that these corpses did not simply vanish.
Radek: Of course I can do magic.
 
Apheori (GM): The Gravedigger pokes a bunch of things with his shovel. They seem like... things.
The Gravedigger starts poking random things with his shovel. They seem like... things. Solid things. They make nice clunks and stuff.
Greibel: Is this place not immaculately clean for a highly populated area suddenly abandoned?
 
Apheori (GM): Solid things.
Rhu follows him and taps the glass on another random shop.
The Gravedigger: Maybe they were all buried, Greibel.
 
BURIAL IS A THING THAT HAPPENS.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: I will do magic.
Someone used to live here. Did you not notice the lack of skeletons? Bodies? Rotting flesh?
Frezak (GM): DO MAGIC.
 
Ganelon: With the intent to remove illusions.
RADEK
Alright?
Of course I can do magic.
Rhu taps the glass outside the bookstore again.
 
Greibel: Gravedigger I do not deny your skill at burial
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): It's glass.
Is this place not immaculately clean for a highly populated area suddenly abandoned?
Greibel: Which is why you must know that burial is a complicated process
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: Do it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: To bury all those alive in this thriving metropolis would take weeks
Maybe they were all buried, Greibel. BURIAL IS A THING THAT HAPPENS.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+10
GREIBEL
(
Gravedigger I do not deny your skill at burial, which is why you must know that burial is a complicated process. To bury all those alive in this thriving metropolis would take weeks. Much longer than the time since the blackouts.
17
 
)
RHU
+10
(tapping the glass again)
=
Huh.
27
 
Greibel: Much longer than the time since the blackouts
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Maybe it was someone that was REALLY GOOD at burying.
And it would leave a societal trace in these buildings not felt now.
Rhu: Huh.
 
Ganelon: I'm so terrified of the first time this is going to fair.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: And it would leave a societal trace in these buildings not felt now
Maybe it was someone that was REALLY GOOD at burying. That could do lots of people at once!
Ganelon: Fail*
 
Frezak (GM): That could do lots of people at once!
Radek does some magic to remove illusions, and reveals several dead bodies as if out of nowhere, though not nearly as many as Greibel saw before. ''(rolled 27 arcana)''
Apheori (GM): Several dead bodies appear as if out of nowhere, though not nearly as many as Greibel saw before.
 
The Gravedigger: Maybe it was someone that was REALLY GOOD at burying.
RHU
That could do lots of people at once!
Holy crap!
Rhu: HOLY CRAP
 
Greibel: There! Do you see them?!
GREIBEL
The Gravedigger: Huh.
There! Do you see them?!
Radek: Bloody illusions.
 
The Gravedigger: Dead people.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
IT'S SHOVEL TIME.
Huh.
Radek: Ask me sooner next time.
 
Greibel: You called me a fool. I called me a....well a fool also, but still,. I knew what was going on
RADEK
Apheori (GM): A large fish also rolls down the stairs.
Bloody illusions.
The Gravedigger: hey!
 
I just called you a druggie.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): How large?
Dead people. IT'S SHOVEL TIME.
Apheori (GM): Almost gravedigger-sized.
 
Rhu: Gah! Fish!
RADEK
Frezak (GM): WOW.
Ask me sooner next time.
THAT IS A BIG FISH.
 
Apheori (GM): Yes.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Anyone in danger of being crushed by the rolling fish?
You called me a fool. I called me a.... well a fool also, but still. I knew what was going on.
Rhu: Does the fish smell bad?
 
Apheori (GM): It smells like a fish, but it's not rotting yet.
A strange hollow flopping sound comes down the stairs.
It's still coming down the stairs and you all probably saw it.
 
It's not going very quickly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: Gravedigger: I take no offense to your insinuation. It's true after all. However, AHHHHHH FISH
Hey! I just called you a druggie.
Frezak (GM): RUUUN
 
Ganelon: A living fish?
It turns out to be a large fish, as big as the Gravedigger, rolling down very slowly.
The Gravedigger: FLEE
 
THE FISH HAVE COME
RHU
Apheori (GM): It's dead.
Gah! Fish!
Frezak (GM): I will evade the fish.
 
Apheori (GM): It continues to roll slowly down the stairs.
GREIBEL
...it stops at the base.
(to the Gravedigger)
Frezak (GM): I'll poke it.
I take no offense to your insinuation. It's true after all. However...
Bravely.
(he sees the fish)
Apheori (GM): With your shovel?
AHHHHHH FISH.
Rhu: WAIT
 
Frezak (GM): No, i'll use my spade for this.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): The spade pierces the fish's scales.
FLEE. THE FISH HAVE COME.
Rhu: It might be pressurized. Like a sperm whale.
 
Apheori (GM): It jiggles a bit.
The large fish continues to roll slowly down the stairs for another few seconds. Then it stops at the base.
Frezak (GM): WOW.
 
Apheori (GM): Like a fish.
The Gravedigger bravely pokes it with his spade.
Frezak (GM): THAT IS A SOGGY FISH.
 
The Gravedigger: This fish is lacking in structural integrity.
RHU
Gaurav: haha
Wait! It might be pressurized. Like a sperm whale.
The fish sits there.
 
The Gravedigger leans near the fish head.
The spade pierces the fish's scales. It jiggles a bit. Like a soggy fish. Except the outside is dry.
The Gravedigger: HELLO? IS SOMEONE IN THERE?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This fish is lacking in structural integrity.
 
The fish sits there. The Gravedigger leans near the fish head.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(very loudly)
HELLO? IS SOMEONE IN THERE?
 
The fish does nothing.
The fish does nothing.
Frezak (GM): With my 18 Con lungs.
 
The Gravedigger: I think it's empty, guys.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Does the fishflesh look weird at all?
I think it's empty, guys.
 
The fish emits a loud belching noise and collapses slightly.
The fish emits a loud belching noise and collapses slightly.
The Gravedigger: It's farting, guys!
 
Apheori (GM): It looks like fish.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Fairly ordinary.
It's farting, guys!
Rhu: It's how they communicate.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll a d20.
Rhu examines the fish as well.
Frezak (GM): Do we know if this size is ordinary for this planet?
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel or Radek may. Is there a random knowledge skill?
GREIBEL
Greibel: RIGHT!
Well, it's a big fish.
rolling 1d20
 
(
Rhu walks over to the closest corpse and examines that instead. It looks like it might have asphyxiated, but there's no indication how. ''(rolled 27 perception)''
15
 
)
RHU
=
This corpse looked like it asphyxiated. Maybe the fish fell on it... before?
15
 
Rhu: Nature? Streetwise (at a stretch)?
RADEK
Ganelon: You can't really be trained in random knowledge.
Does it smell like fish?
Greibel: Yeah, it might be nature
 
But more likely a more scientific deal
The Gravedigger heads up the stairs in search of more/other fish. The top is all pretty ordinary, with more shops and offices and things. No bodies or fish on the floor, just some potted plants. ''(rolled 14 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Streetwise or nature. Add whatever's higher and roll.
 
Ganelon: Nature for sure.
Rhu leans over and smells the corpse.
Or Heal.
 
Rhu: I have a decent nature for some reason. Hmm.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Market values for fish is important.
...if there's a Fish King here, I'm leaving.
Greibel: Greibel is in tune with nature, and can probably relate to it on most planets, but he's still not very versed beyond his own planet and at first things might be weird to him on other worlds
 
Ganelon: Heal because it involves medical knowledge.
The Gravedigger smells the air to track the fish. ''(rolled 27 perception)'' He tracks the fish through the air to a random shop. Which is missing. Floor just sort of gone, walls ending, just broken edges giving way to open air outside the building a huge drop to the rest of the city below.
Rhu:
 
rolling 1d20+6 nature check to examine the fish and recollect information on local fishes
The shop door is hanging open.
(
 
4
THE GRAVEDIGGER
)
(calling down the stairs)
+6
GUYS. THE FISH SMELL COMES FROM A SHOP WITH A BIG HOLE.
=
 
10
The Gravedigger peeks into the shop/out of the building to see if there are nay fish crawling up the wall. There are apparently none.
Apheori (GM): Whatever roll something.
 
It looks like a fish and seems fairly normal as far as you can tell.
The others head up the stairs as well.
Greibel: Well it's a big fish then
 
Rhu walks over to the closest corpse and examines that instead.
Partway up, Radek sees some strange shimmering in the air as he goes up the stairs, but it disappears when he passes. ''(rolled 13 reality)''
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll.
 
Rhu:
Radek pauses, and the Gravedigger starts smelling the air again. ''(rolled 18 perception)''
rolling 1d20+11 perception check to examine corpse
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
16
I can't smell any illllluuuusions over this fish smell. Sorry, guys.
)
 
+11
Everyone gathers around the shop door.
=
 
27
RHU
Greibel: Where do me and, was it Rhu, me and Rhu or Radek or whoever I stayed with come froM?
We need to assume that everything is illusory here.
Apheori (GM): Somewhere else. >.>
 
Greibel: I ROLLED BEFORE
Radek puts a foot down past where the floor would normally be. There seems to be floor - he just can't see it.
Rhu: You stayed iwth me, I think.
 
Apheori (GM): That was something else!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel: Do I need a 20 again?
WAIT.
Being high is hard work
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah, and add a relevant skill. This is about the fish.
The Gravedigger pulls Radek back and pokes the (lack of) ground with his spade. The spade goes through without resistance.
Greibel: Okay I stayed wit Rhu
 
Oh okay
RHU
What about the fish?
Huh.
What's relevant?
 
Nature?
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Why can't I roll Nature?
Oh that's far out.
Rhu: Do a nature check. You're a hippie, that should be your strong suit!
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The corpse looks like it might have asphyxiated, but there's no indication how.
Radek grumbles about illusions some more.
Frezak (GM): BECAUSE IT IS A FISH.
 
Greibel: Nature IS my strong suit
THE GRAVEDIGGER
But what am I rolling?
What. This is perplexing.
D20 plus nature?
 
Apheori (GM): Frezak: The dead elf corpse, not the fish.
The Gravedigger pulls out an axe and drops it onto the space where the shovel went through. The axe clatters and lands on nothing.
Rhu was looking at the other bodies.
 
Greibel: Yeah.
He looks at his axe for a moment and then grabs it and stuffs it back into his bag. And stands there being perplexed.
Rhu: This corpse looked like it asphyxiated. Maybe the fish fell on it ... before?
 
Frezak (GM): Oh.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
Shop Of Illusions!
Radek: Does it smell like fish?
 
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna go see if there are more fish at the top of the stairs?
Radek does some more magic to disillusion the shop. It seems to not entirely work. Nothing really happens. On the other hand, he does notice that the shop is partially there if he looks at it right. Sort of. ''(rolled 21 arcana)''
Apheori (GM): Rhu: IT doesn't smell like fish.
 
Rhu smells the corpse he's next to.
Frezak (GM): Maybe there is a fish hive.
Rhu: ...
if there's a Fish King here, I'm leaving.
Apheori (GM): The gravedigger goes up the stairs.
Gravedigger: Roll a d20.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You come to the top of the stairs and find more shops and offices and things.
There aren't any bodies or fish, but there are some potted plants.
Frezak (GM): Wait.
Was the fish... damp?
Greibel: Sorry my roll thing
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Frezak (GM): A dry fish?
Apheori (GM): Yup.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20 + 11
(
7
)
+11
=
18
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Damn.
Frezak (GM): Can I seek the smell of fish? To see how far it goes on this level?
Apheori (GM): Sure.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
19
)
+8
=
27
Greibel: Apparently the smell is pretty weak...
Frezak (GM): NOSTRIL POWER.
Apheori (GM): The fish moved through the air! The air has smell!
Rhu: Everywhere probably smells like fish now.
Apheori (GM): And the gravedigger follows the smell into a nearby shop.
...which is missing.
Rhu: Gravy: don't go too far! Guys: we should go up after him.
Apheori (GM): The floor inside just gives way to open air outside the building.
The Gravedigger: GUYS. THE FISH SMELL COMES FROM A SHOP WITH A BIG HOLE.
Apheori (GM): (The door is open.)
Bear Soup Guy: Uh-oh...
Rhu walks up the stairs after Gravy.
Frezak (GM): I'll peek out and see if there are nay fish crawling up the wall.
Bear Soup Guy: Domestic violence upstairs....maybe
Apheori (GM): No fish appear to be crawling up the wall.
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
Ganelon: I've got no reason to stick around on the lower level.
Bear Soup Guy: Hold on, I'm gonna call someone
Ganelon: I'll head up.
Frezak (GM): GHOSTBUSTERS
Apheori (GM): Gan: Roll a d20.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Apheori (GM): You see some strange shimmering in the air as you go up the stairs, but it disappears when you pass.
Frezak (GM): Maybe you should try to dissilude every new place.
Ganelon: I suspect illusions, yeah.
Apheori (GM) giggles.
Frezak (GM): Can i try to smell more illusions? And would I have a bonus for knowing the smell i'm looking for?
Apheori (GM): No bonus, but yes.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+8
(
10
)
+8
=
18
My trusty nose.
Always up for some nasality.
Apheori (GM): You can't tell one way or another.
Frezak (GM): Hmm.
The Gravedigger: I can't smell any illllluuuusions over this fish smell. Sorry, guys.
Ganelon: I see everything the same way he does, right? Same shop with a hole and all that?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Rhu: We need to assume that everything is illusory here.
Ganelon: I'll start by putting a foot down past where the floor would normally be.
Rhu carefully edges along the wall.
The Gravedigger: WAIT.
Frezak (GM): I will poke the ground with my spade.
Apheori (GM): Your foot stops where the floor would be.
Frezak (GM): And push the skinny old man away.
Rhu: ... huh
Apheori (GM): The spade, however, goes through without resistence.
Rhu: HUH
Ganelon: More grumbling about illusions ensues.
The Gravedigger: Waht.
This is perplexing.
Frezak (GM): I'll pull out an axe.
Ganelon: Do you know what it means to "take 5" in D&D, Apheori?
Apheori (GM): Nope!
Frezak (GM): And drop it onto the spaaace where the shovel went through.
Bear Soup Guy: Sorry about that I had to call 911 about domestic violence
Literally
Frezak (GM): What.
Ganelon: Spend 5 in-game minutes to do a skill check with a fixed roll of 10.
Frezak (GM): I thought you were talking about fish.
Apheori (GM): RAHB: Hopefully it wasn't the woman doing it. They'll arrest the man.
Bear Soup Guy: And I'm also drunk
Frezak (GM): WHOOOO
Bear Soup Guy: No it's the man
Apheori (GM): Good.
Gaurav: RAHB: Ouch. Hope things turn out well.
Bear Soup Guy: I've heard indications the man is a shithole but never anthing evident enough
Apheori (GM): Okay, so the axe clatters and lands on nothing.
Ganelon: Also, my bad, it's called taking 10.
Apheori (GM): Ganelon: Hmm.
Bear Soup Guy: I think they're lulled into enough of a sense of security now where they feel I won't repot anytthing
Aaaaaaaaand my typijng is shot
Ganelon: I can just *not* do it if you prefer.
Gaurav: Ganelon: What's a "fixed roll of 10"?
Apheori (GM): You can do it with some things.
Not others.
Ganelon: As in, rather than a 1d20, it's just 10.
Bear Soup Guy: Right so they won't trace it to me and stuff so
Ganelon: But it takes time to do.
Bear Soup Guy: Back to playing I gues
Apheori (GM): Gan: If you do it, Greibel has to roll a sanity check.
Frezak (GM): I'll take my axe back.
Greibel: Give me a reader's digest of what happened, I had an acid flachback
Gaurav: BSG: take care, dude.
Frezak (GM): And be perplexed.
Ganelon: I'll pass for now.
And just do the more immediate un-illusioning.
Rhu: Greibel: Gravy followed the fish smell up to the second floor and into a storefront which, ah, doesn't exist.
Frezak (GM): Flashcast that shit, dude.
Bear Soup Guy: Nah I ain't leaving
Ain't much I can do
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
11
)
+10
=
21
Apheori (GM): What was the last thing you saw?
Bear Soup Guy: 911 was cool about it though. hell they're probably here now for all I know
Rhu: Radek stepped into the non-existent storefront and his foot made contact with an invisible floor.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh that's cool
Rhu: We are now investigating the nature of this invisible floor. And rolling sanity checks. Which are a bad, bad sign.
Apheori (GM): Radek casts the thingy and it seems to... not entirely work. Nothing really happens. On the other hand, he does notice that the shop is partially there. Sort of.
Greibel: I mean, Oh that's far out
Apheori (GM): If he looks at it right.
Greibel: Shop Of Illusions!
The Gravedigger rolls his shoulders.
The Gravedigger rolls his shoulders.
The Gravedigger: Okay, guys, stand back.
 
Let's sort this thing out.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): okay, so.
Okay, guys, stand back. Let's sort this thing out.
Rhu: Two options: we could hold one end of the rope and let someone else walk into this non-shop shop with the other end.
 
Or two: Greibel turns himself into a spider and does the same thing, but with silk.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Okay, so. My encounter power, 'roots of stone', creates a burst of rippling earth.
Frezak (GM): My encounter power, 'roots of stone', creates a burst of rippling earth.
''I would like to use that power to shake up the shop floor. See if we can break the illusion the Gravedigger-style.
Rhu: (there might be other options)
 
Frezak (GM): I would like to use that power to shake up the shop floor.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): By breaking the floor?
Rhu: oooh
 
Frezak (GM): See if we can break the illusion Gravy-style.
Radek stands back.
Ganelon: By breaking the floor?
 
Rhu: Might it cause bits of the floor to break? If some break and some are invisible, things could get ... complicated.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Yeah, I think Radek will stand back at this proposition.
Seriously. I'm up for breaking this shit.
Frezak (GM): Just the edge, where it looks broken.
 
Greibel: I will totally turn into a spiderr
Greibel peers over the edge.
Rhu: Can Greibel turn himself into a hummingbird and go ... hover over things?
 
WAIT
GREIBEL
Greibel: If that's what needs to happen because spiderrs seriously give me quite a rush
I will totally turn into a spider, if that's what needs to happen. Because spiders seriously give me quite a rush.
Rhu: Can we ask SHIP to fly over and hover outside the building? And use its sensors to poke at the invisible shop?
 
Frezak (GM): I think it's sulking.
RADEK
Radek: Now if only you could turn into a productive member of society.
Now if only you could turn into a productive member of society.
Ganelon: (My own opinion of Greibel is significantly higher)
 
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Greibel seems to take this as a yes and shapeshifts, but winds up turning into a swarm of pigeons instead of a spider. They flap around a bit, and several of them collide with the wall and fall to the ground, dazed.
The Gravedigger: Seriously.
 
I'm up for breaking this shit.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: I did sign on for playing the mean old guy, though.
HOLY FUCK, GUYS. GREIBEL JUST GOT EATEN BY PIGEONS.
Frezak (GM): We're only one floor up.
 
I can take that fall, no problem.
Rhu rubs his eyes.
Apheori (GM): There's a significantly longer drop.
 
Frezak (GM): What?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): The lot, it turns out, was several floors up. Underneath the lack of shop there are some other towers and ocean.
(as pigeons)
Frezak (GM): Ah.
WHAT NO I AM PIGEONS.
Anything we can tie me to?
 
A nice pillar, for instance?
The pigeons flop around a bit and are generally very disorganised.
Apheori (GM): A handrail on a wall nearby.
 
Aren't any pillars.
The Gravedigger regards the pigeons for a moment and then trudges off into a random shop.
Rhu: o.0
 
Frezak (GM): Does it look like it would hold my weight?
Meanwhile the pigeon swarm starts to sort itself out, becoming more organised and generally landing all over the floor, on handrails, and on Rhu's and Radek's heads.
Apheori (GM): A couple of stakes in the ground.
 
Rhu: I suggest we tie the lightest member of the party on to you.
Radek swats a pigeon off his head.
Apheori (GM): It could.
 
Frezak (GM): How much of a could?
The Gravedigger comes back a moment later with a bucket of paint and some floor cleaner, and throws paint all over the inside of the mysterious shop.
Rhu: Anything on the ceiling? A ceiling fan hook?
 
Ganelon: ...What good would that do?
Some of the paint hits and spreads, showing solid bits of floor and apparently a chair. Some of the paint goes right through the floor. Some of it hits solid floor, spreads, and then suddenly falls.
Frezak (GM): I am really heavy.
 
Apheori (GM): There's also a bridge a few feet away above where the shop had been, if you can grapple it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or maybe go to it the next floor up.
Oh. Crap.
Frezak (GM): Well, I have 50 feet of rope.
 
Anyone with an adventurer kit has the same.
RHU
And I HAVE a grappling hook.
Why did it do that? And why does it work with paint, and not with spades?
Rhu: We can also tie you with multiple ropes. But I still think we should get Greibel to do the flying-animal-or-insect thing.
 
Frezak (GM): Sure, if he can.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: it's safer, simpler, and -- given that BSG is drunk -- much more amusing.
You mentioned portals, Radek?
unless the entire room collapses or something
 
Frezak (GM): If the DM says yes, sounds safer.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Go for it.
...oh crap.
Frezak (GM): TURN INTO A PIGEON.
 
A HUNTING PIGEON OF PREY.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: haahaha
I think this place is all phasing. It's.. going between places.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay sorry I did other thingd
 
Should I turn into a flying animal?
RADEK
Frezak (GM): yeah,and poke around.
I have to agree.
Gaurav: What about dragonfly? Excellent hovering capability, dragonflies.
 
Apheori (GM): Mass conversion.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Remember mass conversion.
Things are real and not real. Both. Its... SCHRODINGER'S SHOP. Shit's fucked up.
Frezak (GM): A swarm of pigeons.
 
Frezak (GM): A SWARM.
Radek tries to slap the Gravedigger across the back of his head, and winds up hitting his arm.
OF PIGEONS.
 
A ROYAL PIGEON SWARM.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): DO IT NOW.
That isn't how Shrodinger's experiment worked. Valman was the first one to perform in-depth studies into the nature of phasing and other dimensional instabilities.
Rhu: That is the best idea anybody has ever had ever
 
Frezak (GM): NOW.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: I am in awe
Maybe you should tell the Company this. I have made a discovery. Tell them I'm super smart.
I need to sit down
 
Rhu sits down against the wall opposite the "shopfront"
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Roll a d20
Bear Soup Guy: I can't turn into swarms because I'm not trained in stuff
Rhu: Crap
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Bear Soup Guy: But I'll totally turn into a finch or somethintg
Frezak (GM): Sure you can.
Swarm druids are just better at it.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): IF YOU DO NOT TURN INTO A PIGEON SWARM I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR LEGS.
Gaurav: 0.0
Bear Soup Guy: oh okay
So I can do swarm but I'm not great at it but that's mostly a combat thing
Frezak (GM): yarr.
Greibel turns into a swarm of pigeons
Frezak (GM): WHOOOO
Apheori (GM): Several of the pigeons immediately fly into the wall and fall on the ground, dazed.
The Gravedigger: HOLY FUCK, GUYS.
GREIBEL JUST GOT EATEN BY PIGEONS.
Rhu rubs my eyes
Rhu: err, his eyes
Greibel: WHAT NO I AM PIGEONS
Frezak (GM): That is the best line yet, BSG.
Greibel: +D
Ganelon: I have no comment other than this one, to tell you that I am amused.
Bear Soup Guy: As am I
I have to take a minute to order some e-liquid and the I am completely devoted to this
Frezak (GM): Can we find tins of soup or paint or flour or some liquid or powder in any of the shops?
Apheori (GM): So what'll you have this swarm of pigeons do? Dance?
Gaurav: e-liquid?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Some of them might have some.
Do you search?
Frezak (GM): I will go look for such a thing.
Apheori (GM): Okay. You find some.
Frezak (GM): Awesome.
Apheori (GM): Paint and floor cleaner.
Roll a d20.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You come back with paint and floor cleaner and notice nothing odd.
Aside from the swarm of pigeons.
Frezak (GM): Once the pigeons have cleared, I want to throw paint all over the inside of the mysterious shop.
Apheori (GM): Since the pigeons are just swarming, perhaps you might as well do it now. >.<
Frezak (GM): Sure.
GO, PAINT.
Apheori (GM): You dump paint on where the floor should be.
Some of the paint hits the floor and spreads, showing where it is.
Some of it goes right through it.
Some of it hits, spreads, and then suddenly falls.
The Gravedigger: oh. Crap.
Apheori (GM): You also get some paint on a chair.
Rhu: Why did it do that? And why does it work with paint, and not with spades?
The Gravedigger: You mentioned portals, Radek?
Apheori (GM): It's INVISIBLE.
Rhu: ...
oh crap
The Gravedigger: I think this place is all phasing.
It's.. going between places.
Radek: I have to agree.
The Gravedigger: Things are real and not real.
Both.
its... SCHRODINGER'S SHOP.
Shit's fucked up.
Radek slaps the Gravedigger across the back of the head.
Frezak (GM): can you reach?
My head?
Apheori (GM): If he jumps, sure.
Radek: That isn't how Shrodinger's experiment worked.
Frezak (GM): Also you might as well punch a wall.
The Gravedigger: Maybe you should tell the Company this.
I have made a discovery.
Tell them i'm super smart.
Radek: Valman was the first one to perform in-depth studies into the nature of phasing and other dimensional instabilities.
Hmph.
Hmph.
The Gravedigger: I DISCOVERY ABOUT HERE.
 
GO DO THE TALKING THING.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: Bah! Fine!
I DISCOVERY ABOUT HERE. GO DO THE TALKING THING.
Ganelon: These are just written reports, right?
 
Frezak (GM): Else I will make a lung attack Vs Fort.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Else I will make a lung attack Vs Fort.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, basically.
 
Frezak (GM): hey, can we record a video?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): It's like this app where you fill in some fields and put notes.
Bah! Fine!
Frezak (GM): And have me dump the other stuff?
 
Apheori (GM): You can record a video.
A pigeon flaps around helpfully.
Frezak (GM): And smile and wave?
 
Apheori (GM): Sure.
Radek gets out the computer and points its camera at the Gravedigger.
Frezak (GM): because I totally want to do that now.
 
Rhu: :)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ganelon: Let's do that.
Frezak (GM): I will.
I'll be waving and grinning and pointing at myself and the floor.
Gaurav: Remember when I said I should really go to bed? Because it was a quarter to 3? That was an hour and ten minutes ago.
So once this video is recorded I am outta here.
Frezak (GM): Oops >.>
Gaurav: Feel free to keep going -- this stuff is awesome! I can read the transcript afterwards.
No no I said it was a quarter to 4 and it is now a quarter to 5. I dub tomorrow Coffee Day.
Ganelon: I wouldn't mind stopping afterwards. It's not exactly too late for me to stay up, but I you needn't miss out and I do have other things I could do.
Bear Soup Guy: I came back and read the stuff but now I'm running back to the ship for the bathroom
Gaurav: I'm also gone all the way 'til Dec 30, so if you're going to play before then, you'll have to do it without me anyway. I really don't mind! The transcripts are going to be awesome.
Apheori (GM): One of you may want to mention how there are probably bathrooms here.
Frezak (GM): No, not really.
I'm busy doing science.
Rhu: (mutters) Don't split the party ... (loudly, to Greibel) THERE MIGHT BE A LOO IN HERE SOMEWHERE
Apheori (GM): The Gravedigger doing science. This is awesome.
The Gravedigger: QUIET.
I AM DOING SCIENCE.
I AM DOING SCIENCE.
Rhu: Man, we could not have picked a better building for Gravy to ply his trade. IT'S ALL HOLES!
(he stops)
The Gravedigger: is the thing recording yet?
Is the thing recording yet?
Rhu looks for the red light
 
Radek: Go ahead.
RADEK
The Gravedigger waves at the camera thing.
Go ahead.
The Gravedigger then splashes the stuff over the floor.
 
Rhu: So unless the secretary is yet another in a series of illusions, we've now achieved something nobody else has, which is that we landed and sent back a message without dying first.
The Gravedigger waves at the camera thing. He then goes back to the edge of the shop, waves Radek over and makes sure he's aiming the camera at the (lack of) floor, and splashes floor cleaner over the (lack of) floor, all the while waving and pointing excitedly and smiling a lot.
Frezak (GM): And waving and pointing excitedly.
 
Apheori (GM): The floating paint, including the stuff on the floor, all falls through at once.
This time, however, the cleaner hits the floating paint and everything all falls through at once as soon as it does.
Frezak (GM): Also smiling a lot.
 
Radek: Hm..
RADEK
The Gravedigger: THIS IS HOLE SCIENCE.
Hm...
Apheori (GM): On the chair, I mean.
 
Radek: Quiet down, they can hear you just fine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): I want to unwind some rope, tie an handaxe to it, and swing it around the room to see if it hooks around the chair.
(loudly)
Rhu leans over to see if I can see wehre the paint has fallen to
THIS IS HOLE SCIENCE.
Apheori (GM): Most of it seems to have hit a roof below.
 
The rest probably went in the ocean.
RADEK
Rhu: ... why would you build a roof before a room? Even an invisible room?
Quiet down, they can hear you just fine.
Can we see the sky through the "top" of the room?
 
Apheori (GM): IT'S A FUTURE CITY THING.
Rhu leans over to see where the paint has fallen to. It looks like it mostly landed on a roof below.
Frezak (GM): FUTURE.
 
Apheori (GM): FUTURE.
RADEK
Gaurav: haha. The stylish thing is to have a roof below a floor below a roof below a floor.
We believe this space to be part of a dimensional instability of some sort. The floor seems to be changing states between tangible and intangible constantly.
Apheori (GM): Rob: Roll a d20.
 
Gaurav: It's how you know you've arrived.
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: THE ECIG GUYS CHARGE A LOT FOR SHIPPING AND THEN ALSO I READ STUFF
It's a creepy floor.
Radek: We believe this spaaace to be part of a dimensional instability of some sort.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Oh me roll a d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
rolling 1d20
It's here and not. This is going to make moving around here very difficult. Because of holes.
(
 
15
GREIBEL
)
(as pigeons)
=
We just have to perceive, man. It will be hard but valuable.
15
 
Apheori (GM): Damn you.
RADEK
Radek: The floor seems to be changing states between tangible and intangible constantly.
That will be in the report.
Gaurav: "It's a creepy floor", Rhu adds helpfully.
 
The Gravedigger: It's here and not.
RHU
THis is going to make moving around here very difficult.
Wait a minute. How do we know this isn't some kookie "illusion for the paying public" stunt this mall was doing? Maybe we should go back and focus on the dead guys?
Because of holes.
 
Greibel: We just have to perceive man
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: This is going to be a minority opinion, but how do we know this isn't some kookie "illusion for the paying public" stunt this mall was doing? Maybe we should go back and focus on the dead guys?
Yes, dead guys! I'll dig a hole.
Greibel: It will be hard but valuable
 
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Your guy should mention that.
The Gravedigger stops and seems to suddenly realise something, and then plods off down the stairs.
Greibel: You have no idea how happy Gravy is.
 
This is all he hoped and more.
RHU
All he needs now is some to bury.
But... maybe a crazy scientist did a thing. Maybe another Gravedigger was researching advanced digging, or something. We don't know that this weird room has anything to do with anything apart from the fish.
Gaurav: oops, sorry
 
Frezak (GM): OOPS
Rhu follows the Gravedigger down the stairs. Radek concludes the report and does the same.
SOORY.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Guarav: The paying public generally doesn't want to be fooled though
The Greibel pigeon swarm flies up around them as they leave, then flaps out the door of the shop into the open air. ''(rolled 6 reality)'' Pigeons bounce off the far wall.
Frezak (GM): I stole Greibel >.>
 
Radek: That will be in the report.
GREIBEL
Rhu: Wait a minute. how do we know this isn't some kookie "illusion for the paying public" stunt this mall was doing? Maybe we should go back and focus on the dead guys?
(as pigeons)
Bear Soup Guy: This seems like more than just a gimmick
Aaaaaah what.
The Gravedigger: Yes, dead guys!
 
I'll dig a hole.
A cat, Lokshmi, appears in the doorway, watching the flock of pigeons. Then the flock starts to come back together.
Frezak (GM): Actually.
 
I could tell how long they've been dead.
LOKSHMI
Bear Soup Guy: OH NO I WAS STOLEN
You should come back inside before you do that.
That was odd
 
Apheori (GM): Excellent idea.
Greibel coalesces back into an elf over open air.
Rhu: That's true, but ... maybe a crazy scientist did a thing. Maybe another Gravedigger was researching advanced digging, or something. We don't know that this weird room has anything to do with anything apart from the fish.
</screenplay>
Frezak (GM): I'll go down and fo that.
 
Apheori (GM): Hmm, Greibel is still pigeons, isn't he?
{{holes nav
Frezak (GM): He is always pigeons.
|previous=
Rhu: Greibel: come perch on my finger.
|next=Holes/Session 2
Frezak (GM): You'll need a big finger.
}}
Rhu: A Flock of Pigeons.
Frezak (GM): To have a pigeon swarm perch on.
Rhu: just the one to start with?
or do they have to travel together?
Greibel: I guess I'm still pigeons
Frezak (GM): I'll go examine the dead guys for deadness.
Greibel: I forgot I was pigeons but I was the whole time
Apheori (GM): Pigeons: Roll a d20.
Greibel: r/ 1d20
err
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Apheori (GM): The dead guys appear to have been dead varying amounts of time - some only a few hours or days, others months, others dessicated entirely, probably preserved by the building's environmental control.
Rhu: Damn
Apheori (GM): They're mostly humans and elves, but some of them are also races you don't recognise, possibly subraces.
The Gravedigger: These dead guys don't have consistent times of deadness.
Bear Soup Guy: Does everybody see all of them now
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You fly out the door into the shop that isn't there, bounce off the far wall, and then wonder where everyone went.
Everyone sees about the same number now, though there are less than you saw initially.
Greibel: Aaaaaah what
Rhu: Dude, we can see your corpses now. Calm down.
Apheori (GM): You failed a sanity check. AS A FLOCK OF PIGEONS.
Greibel: Okay, I have experience with being alone and pensive
Apheori (GM) points and laughs.
Frezak (GM): THE SWARM IS MAAAAAD
Greibel: Can I turn back to elf man?
Frezak (GM): What kind of clothes are they wearing?
Apheori (GM): You can.
Greibel: Cause yeah
The pigeons don't seem to be sane
Lokshmi: Get back inside first.
Greibel: Okay I'm me again and wandering
Rhu: ...
Lokshmi: You... idiot.
Rhu: Did you just turn back into an elf before you left the dreaded room of emptiness?
Frezak (GM): WHo's the god talking to?
Greibel: I think I left and then turned to elf
From shcok value
shock*
Lokshmi: No. You didn't. I had to pull you in.
(Talking to Greibel.)
Apheori (GM): And you realise there's a cat talking to you.
Greibel: Whhaaaaaaaaaat Loksmit
Apheori (GM): You probably don't recognise her.
Rhu: So, the rest of us are downstairs and we can't see all this, right?
Greibel: AAAAAAGH MY MIND
Apheori (GM): Right.
Rhu: Oh look a corpse (examines corpse)
Ganelon: Yeah.
Greibel: What do you need to impart to me locksmith?
Frezak (GM): Did Radek send the report?
Lokshmi: Locksmith?
Apheori (GM): You sent it, yeah.
Frezak (GM): Also, what are the dead guys wearing? What kind of clothes?
Apheori (GM): Then wandered off.
Rhu: We definitely recorded a report. Not sure if we sent it.
Greibel: You say tomato, I say nebula
Apheori (GM): Ordinary to unusual clothes. But there's a fair amount of variation on most worlds so it doesn't seem too odd.
Frezak (GM): Right.
Lokshmi narrows her eyes and watches Greibel suspiciously.
Ganelon: I'll send the report after we have footage of the floor having stuff on it, then becoming intangible.
Which I guess has happened.
Presumably I'm just filling in the written part.
Gaurav: Okay, 1hr 30 mins after my last I-gotta-go pronouncement means I absolutely definitely have to go.
Apheori (GM): Right, then.
Frezak (GM): IS THIS THE END?
Gaurav: This has been waaaaaay more exciting and creepy than I thought it was going to be.
Frezak (GM): Also, sorry for the late night, Rave >.>
Gaurav: no no keep going! I'll read the transcripts once I get a stable internet connection on Dec 30.
Ganelon: See you later!
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Gaurav: and I'll see you all after
Frezak (GM): have funs!
HAPPY HOLES, RAVE.
Apheori (GM): He will be important at some point.
I dunno if he's important yet.
Gaurav: The late night was worth it ^_^ have fun everybody! Take care BSG re: upstairs and all that!
I will have the best of holes
Apheori (GM): Take care.
Gaurav: my character sheet is at https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/19429772/dnd-skype/Rhu.pdf my religion check is +7 my perception is +11 and everybody within 5 sq of me gets a perception of +1
that should be all you need to know
byeeeeeee
Frezak (GM): Oh, elfy bonuses!
Nice!
Apheori (GM): Can someone reformat that?
Also: Do we want to keep going?
Frezak (GM): I do.
But I think Gan had things?
Ganelon: Hm.
Well, yes.
Things that could be delayed.
Frezak (GM): heh.
By how much?
Apheori (GM): Dammit, and I forgot what Lokshmi was actually going to say to the party.
Bloody stoned Greibel and his causing her to show up too soon...
Ganelon: I'm juggling a lot of conversations and other such things.
Frezak (GM): Up to you, Gan.
Ganelon: Then I'll have to politely request that we continue this another day.
Apheori (GM): When shall it be?
Frezak (GM): I'm busy 'till about the 27th.
Ganelon: Well, the 25th is probably going to require me to go do family stuff.
Apheori (GM): 27th works for me.
Ganelon: Other than that, just not on Fridays ('cause that's when I work on details for my own D&D campaign) or Sundays (Frezak's campaign) are fine. Any time.
'Course, the 27th is a Friday.
Well, I can play, just not late.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay I came back
Apheori (GM): Rob: 27th work for you?
Ganelon: Like, really late. Two hours from now would be cutting things close.
Three would be unacceptably late.
Bear Soup Guy: Apheori: no unfortunatelu, well maybe
I have to go to have christmas stuff with my dad and then stay at my sister's house and watch her dogs
Very early 28th is good but only barely
Apheori (GM): Can't you online with dogs?
Frezak (GM): Might as well leave it for the 30th, then.
Bear Soup Guy: We should all just reconvene after these bloody holidays
Frezak (GM): When Rave is back.
Apheori (GM): Aye, mayhap. >.<
Bear Soup Guy: I CAN online with dogs
Frezak (GM): Revolting.
Bear Soup Guy: If we're doing about the time we are now
On saturday
Friday is no good at all
Apheori (GM): Can everyone do saturday?
Bear Soup Guy: Neither is....tomorrow or any other day until fridau
Frezak (GM): I can any day from the 27th.
Bear Soup Guy: I can do saturday yeah
For a few hours but I can't promise past 12 PST
Which would be 2 Colorado time
Ganelon: I can.
Apheori (GM): Well, that'll give us a few hours, at least, no?
Bear Soup Guy: At least yeah
More build to the story
And then in January we can really plow into the action
Ganelon: More opportunities to be grouchy.
And a know-it-all.
Frezak (GM): MORE HOLE SCIENCE
Ganelon: If anyone ever calls Radek on that device, he's going to say "Genius here."
Bear Soup Guy: HOLE SCIENCE
Apheori (GM): Yes!
Bear Soup Guy: I will talk to Radek a lot
Ganelon: I'm quite satisfied with how this has gone so far
Frezak (GM): Gravy will shout "I KNOW HOLE THINGS"
And just blot out any of Radek's attempt to speak.
Bear Soup Guy: Because he's most similar to my sensibilitieis
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: I even got to complain to someone who didn't care and couldn't solve my problems like an authentic old person.
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Bear Soup Guy: I got to not pay attention a lot of times like an authentic hippie
Ganelon: Something for everyone.
Apheori (GM): I'd say this actually worked fairly well.
Ganelon: Holes, receptionists, and tripping balls.
Frezak (GM): It did, Names.
Apheori (GM): Not that I'm sure what 'well' actually looks like...
Frezak (GM): Wellll
I could link you my campaign? >.>
That's the only game example I have >.>
Apheori (GM): I'm not sure I'd get around to reading it.
Frezak (GM): FINE THEN
BE THAT WAY
Apheori (GM): SORRY.
Ganelon: I consider Magellan to be the absolute paragon of campaign wellness.
Frezak (GM): Ehhhh.
Ganelon: Okay, Katie kind of slows things down a lot.
Frezak (GM): JUST A BIT.
Ganelon: But I love the talking and the combat and the characters and the setting.
Just... everything.
Frezak (GM): WHAT.
YOU PREFER THAT OVER HARICOT?
YOU BASTARD.
Ganelon: And I hate Year's House but that's totally fine because it's the point.
No, Haricot is great!
Frezak (GM): AND SCISSORS.
AND THE GHOSTS.
AND THE DRUNK DUDE.
I HATE YOU.
Sort of.
Ish.
Frezak (GM): Well.
Ganelon: I'm interested in seeing how combat plays out in this campaign, though.
Apheori (GM): So am I. O_o
Ganelon: I actually like the idea of Radek having a rifle much more than I originally thought.
Frezak (GM): Well, we have a fairly balanced party.
A bit low on damage, perhaps.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm interested in the whole thing
Ganelon: It was probably a result of me being able to visualize just how insanely long his "no penalty" range was.
Bear Soup Guy: This is so much more than I expected already
Frezak (GM): i'll be using an at-will to slow that should help things.
Bear Soup Guy: This is my first real D&D experience and it has been fantabulous
Apheori (GM): Mine too!
Bear Soup Guy: +D
err
=D
Frezak (GM): You might want the Monster Manuals, Names.
For mosnters.
Apheori (GM): Good point.
Frezak (GM): You can always rename them.
Ganelon: I can send her those.
Frezak (GM): Excellent idea.
Apheori (GM): We never even got to the chickens.
Frezak (GM): Oh dear.
Bear Soup Guy: Gan you are so cool
Thanks for being so cool
Apheori (GM): You guys are all cool.
Frezak (GM): Ehhhhh
I'm not.
And, no offence.
Gan is not someone I would label 'cool'.
he knows to much D&D to be cool.
We're cursed.
Apheori (GM): Pfft.
Frezak (GM): To not be cool.
Tainted.
CORRUPTED.
But that's cool.
Apheori (GM): You're like uncyclopedia admins: Cool and sexy even if everyone hates you.
Ganelon: I appreciate the flattery.
Frezak (GM): oh, I know I'm sexy and hated.
Ganelon: But I am definitely not sexy.
Apheori (GM): And cool.
Frezak (GM): Ehhh.
Bear Soup Guy: Coooooooooool
Ganelon: I'm fine with being called cool.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm so sexy and hated they gave me the other thing
God my typing is shot
Gan, you are cool
You may be sexy in our wildest dreams
Frezak (GM): ehhhh
Bear Soup Guy: But at least in reality you are very much cool
Frezak (GM): Gan.
I will try my bestest to make my campaign better than Mr.K.'s.
Ganelon: You're doing fine, Frezak.
It may very well just be the character dynamic that you and I have going that makes me enjoy his more.
Frezak (GM): ohhh.
Ganelon: Because really, Freya is the greatest.
Frezak (GM): Welll.
Ganelon: No. She is the greatest.
Frezak (GM): When you say 'greatest'.
Apheori (GM): Guys, let's get the non-campaign stuff back in skype.
Frezak (GM): Right.
Ganelon: Yes, let's.
Bear Soup Guy: I already love my character dynamic with everyone
Apheori (GM): It's hard enough keepin track of backlog already. XD
Bear Soup Guy: Gravedigger and I are going to get into some shit and that will effect our direction and that's fantastic
As far as I'm concerned every party should have some polar opposite characters
Apheori (GM) drags RAHB back to skype.
Bear Soup Guy: Mine is so passive unless we're beijng attacked and GD is so aggressive
Oh right, back to skype
</pre>

Latest revision as of 03:13, 1 March 2015

Next ≫
Session 1 (raw log) (Overview)

Background

Seven days ago, there had been nothing particularly special about Sarathi. It was a planet of mostly water, with cities and villas floating on the surface of the ocean, a popular vacation destination for the middle class, and a home to the well-to-do.

Six days ago, the entire planet of Sarathi went silent. Transmissions quit over the course of several hours. Pings timed out and got lost. Those who went down to the surface never came back. Then the odd energy readings began. Not signal or anything identifiable, just strange noise rising from the planet's surface... and no clues as to any meaning.

It was declared a cataclysm. The gods were stirring. The political situation was a mess. A single job posting from an as-yet unnamed company went out, calling for groups of four - a scientist, a mystic, a strong-arm, and a priest. These would investigate. Get to the bottom of it.

The first such group to answer the posting was a group of elves led by a Radek J. Fulvius. His interest was in the cataclysm itself, for he was the scientist. The others he cobbled up from various worlds on the way to fill the other roles - Rhu, the priest; Greibel, the mystic who had been sleeping on Rhu's couch; and the Gravedigger, the warrior - and when they showed up at the Company headquarters, they were interviewed, obligated to sign some papers, equipped, and sent on their merry way. They had three tasks: figure out what happened, keep in touch, and don't die.

Session

EXT. Space above Sarathi - day
A small transport comes to the planet and enters some sort of orbit.


INT. SHIP - space
The Gravedigger and Rhu are sitting around, waiting. Radek is tinkering with something or other. Greibel is sitting next to a screen smoking something questionable.
GREIBEL
If you find the area of highest capable technology, you'll probably find the most likely devices or resources to inform you of what's going on.
Gaurav (Rhu): If we find the area of highest tech, we might also find rockets, is what I'm worried about.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Good point Guarav. As a pacifist hippie, I must express similar concern.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Find a large city and look about for anything noticeable? Lights in the dark? Big holes?
GREIBEL
That is it precisely.
(he pauses)
I talk super sophisticated when I'm stoned.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Suuure.
GREIBEL
It comes from, like, the tribal people I used to live with and stuff. That's when they did all their big thinking.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Riiiiight.
Greibel blows a smoke cloud defiantly in the Gravedigger's face.
The Gravedigger breathes it in. His Constitution laughs at smoke.
GREIBEL
(smiling coyly at the Gravedigger)
This will be interesting.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(ignoring him)
So. We all for checking out the dark side?
GREIBEL
Yes, the dark side is most likely where we'll find the most information.
RADEK
Whatever caused this planet to go silent has probably long since passed. Finer observations are required if we expect to learn anything useful.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We in a rush, now?
RADEK
Yes.
RHU
We can't do the obvious things. Doing the obvious things is why everybody who's come here since it went dark is probably dead.
GREIBEL
My brother. Think outside the box. Right on.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We should take it easy. Check what we can without dirtying our feet.
We'll end up down there soon enough. Might as see what knowledge we can glean first.
SHIP
Your orders?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(really, really loudly)
TO THE DARK SIIIIIIDE.
Radek grumbles incoherently.
The SHIP sighs happily and starts drifting toward the dark side of the planet. Then it starts humming merrily.
GREIBEL
Right on, ship sistah! That's my jam!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sandwiches?
Rhu wanders around the ship in search of a good cup of tea. The SHIP makes some sandwiches and drops them on the Gravedigger's head.
The Gravedigger reaches up and eats the sandwiches.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You are a great ship, SHIP.
SHIP
I know!
Nobody ever appreciates it, you know. All the hard work a SHIP puts in.
GREIBEL
I would love a cup of chamomile while you're over there, Rhu.
Two teacups materialise out of a slot.
SHIP
Your tea is ready.
Rhu takes the tea and hands Greibel a cup.
RHU
Mm, delicious! The fishy aftertaste really gives it a nice kick.
GREIBEL
Thank you SHIP and thank you Rhu.
SHIP
You're most welcome, polite meat creatures.
RHU
Are we nearly there yet?
Greibel heads to the bathroom in the back of the ship.
The ship helpfully puts up a screen to display a whole lot of black and some random twinkly things. They look like they might be urban areas, probably the floating cities of Arish and Meregan, as well as another that appears to be sitting in the middle of the ocean.
SHIP
There aren't any squirrels down there.
The Gravedigger gasps.
RHU
Huh. That's unusual. I vote we go investigate the oceanic twinkly.
Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Greibel is at the sink and the ship keeps giving him toothpicks.
Rhu realises the ship might be going insane. (rolled 20 insight) Something about how it wasn't doing anything like this until it got here.
RHU
Shit. Guys. Guys. Guys. I think this ship might be going insane.
SHIP
Please go on.
Greibel comes back from the bathroom wearing a funny toothpick hat.
RADEK
I'm holding the hippie responsible.
Greibel looks surprised.
RHU
(suddenly realising how stupid what he said was)
...insanely good at its job! Great job, SHIP! That tea was great!
SHIP
Would you like me to bring you down?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't know about the tea. But I liked the sandwiches.
SHIP, do you have some kind of zoom camera thingy you can do to take a look at the light in the sea?
SHIP
Of course, dear.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Without having to dive or anything? I'm not a great swimmer.
One of the screens zooms in a bunch, showing a bunch of wreckage with a bunch of glowing blobs stuck to it.
RADEK
That's a downed ship.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hmmmm.
SHIP
I aspire to that.
RADEK
You shouldn't, SHIP.
He moves to take a closer look at the blobs, and adjusts a screen or something. (rolled 25 tech/arcana)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want to sink?
The ship doesn't answer, and drifts slowly toward Meregan.
Rhu looks around to try to find any servicable panels or manuals in the cabin, and finds a manual of style. (rolled 12 perception (natural 1))
He picks it up and then immediately puts it back upon realising what it is.
RADEK
And those lights are... organic power cells? I've never seen them do something like that before.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds sort of bad.
SHIP
It looks painful.
Do you know what it's like to not feel pain? Makes you almost wish you could.
Greibel sympathizes with the ship in a synesthesia sorts of way.
SHIP
Thank you, dear.
Rhu walks over to the bathroom and has a look at the escape pods. They look like escape pods.
Rhu is just relieved that they're still around.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you zoom in on one of the urban light things, SHIP?
SHIP
Of course, dear.
The ship suddenly displays a very bright light that fills the entire screen.
RHU
Woah!
GREIBEL
Well that was helpful. Also, way trippy. I should write a psychedelic jam about this.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe zoom out a little?
GREIBEL
Ship, put on the light shield thing.
Now it shows a view of the city. It looks mostly intact, with a couple of lights in some windows. The ship's lights also illuminate some of the buildings, revealing a city that is mostly intact aside from a couple of missing/broken towers. They look to have been sliced off somehow. Very, very neatly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That looks promising.
On-screen, the city is getting a lot bigger.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Um. SHIP. Could you stop moving, please?
SHIP
Of course, dear.
The SHIP stops right next to the city.
RHU
I don't like landing on a city on water. What if we can't get off?
GREIBEL
Floating cities have been commonplace for hundreds of years.
SHIP
I miss squirrels.
RHU
(he sighs)
I guess we should land, then.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Any reason why not?
SHIP
I can land you near a complete lack of squirrels.
RHU
(to the ship)
Tell me more about squirrels?
GREIBEL
Yes, I too would like to learn about these "squirrels".
SHIP
They're nice, you know. These squirrels. Fuzzy little things. Burrow into the skulls of humans and eat their brains.
RHU
(babbling)
Because it's a city on water. I don't like cities on water. That's a terrible idea. But it seems to be our gate straight into... whatever is going on here.
SHIP
A Nadri invention, I believe. Do you know any Nadri?
RADEK
They would do something like that.
Rhu steps backwards until he can see the escape pods from where he's standing. Greibel suddenly runs past him and locks himself in the bathroom. Something about diarrhea.
SHIP sighs lengthily. Then there's a bit of a bump as the ship lands on one of the city's parking lots.
Rhu runs to the door and tries to open it, but it doesn't open.
SHIP
I am so depressed.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Still the Squirrel thing?
SHIP
There never even were any squirrels.
RHU
(staring at the door)
I'm sorry to hear that, SHIP.
(to others)
Does anybody know how to undepress a ship? ...did anybody know ships could get depressed? Because I didn't.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't know anything about ships. I spent the last century digging holes.
RHU
(still staring at the door)
I was punching people. They were worth punching, but... I wish I'd stopped to learn more about ships.
RADEK
I'll check it for damage before we leave the surface.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Damage?
SHIP
You think I'm damaged. That there is something WRONG with me.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
I NEVER SAID THAT. I LIKE YOUR SANDWICHES.
SHIP
(accusingly)
He did.
(much more pleasantly)
Thank you.
RADEK
Yes, my dear, and you're confirming that suspicion rather handily.
The door suddenly slams open and Rhu is blown out of the SHIP.
SHIP
I think you should leave now.
RADEK
I intended to.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, don't mind him. He's a grumpy old man.
(seeing Rhu is gone)
Hey, SHIP! That wasn't very nice.
Greibel is suddenly launched out of the bathroom.
SHIP
Take your diarrhetic friend and go.
RADEK
I'm the only person here who knows what he's talking about.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Only because we're not talking about holes. If we were talking about holes, I'd be the smart person here.
The Gravedigger shrugs, picks up Griebel, slings him over a shoulder like a sack of hippy potatoes, and carries him out. Radek follows as well.


EXT. Sarathi parking lot - Night
The Gravedigger, Greibel, and Radek find Rhu kissing the ground.
They're in a parking lot, surrounded by various large buildings. There are some other ships and cars, a couple of which seem to be totalled. There's also a random motorboat.
A nearby sign helpfully indicates that this is the East-South Lot, open 22 hours. None of the lights they saw earlier are visible from here.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Keep safe, SHIP!
RHU
(to Radek)
Do you think the SHIP will be okay?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And don't let any strange men bury you! That would make me sad. If someone came and buried you.
Ganelon (Radek): Okay, so I just need to know something right now. Are the designs of any race other than Nissai (his own) something Radek should have respect for? Or are they all crazy enough to make talking ships that can get offended?
Apheori (GM): Oh, they all are; most just usually don't.
RADEK
(grumbling)
I didn't learn to build machines so that I would later be forced to reason with them.
RHU
(looking at the sign)
Any clue which two hours its closed for?
RADEK
If something is wrong with our ship - besides how it was made in the first place - I'm sure I can find out.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What, you think something fiddled with it, Radek?
RADEK
I'm not making any guesses until I've had a look. Recent events suggest that a look is necessary, that's all.
RHU
Radek, can you make the report? I think you've got the tablet-computer thing.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah. Do that thing. I'm gonna check out this motorboat.
The Gravedigger makes "brrrrm brrrrm" noises and heads over to the motorboat.
RHU
(hovering over Radek)
Things to report: lights randomly spread over the planet. We have landed in Meregan after our ship started acting... unhappy. There are spaceships and airships abandoned here. We'll report back when we have more.
Radek waves him away and calls in. A secretary answers and responds very cluelessly.
The Gravedigger's inspection reveals the boat to be a rather nice but broken motorboat. There's a large ragged hole in the bottom. Like someone punched an armoured fist through it.
Rhu walks over to the Gravedigger and admires the hole in his motorboat.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This looks weird. Are the other ships broken too?
the Gravedigger goes to look at some of the other ships. They look fairly normal, but another one also has a large hole in it.
Greibel slides off the Gravedigger's shoulder, then staggers toward Rhu keeping his legs apart as much as possible.
GREIBEL
I don't hate you, Rhu. I just wish you would've warned me.
Rhu looks confused.
GREIBEL
Wait, it was Radek?
Greibel winces and sort of waddles back over to Radek, and Rhu follows.
RADEK
(on the phone/earpeice)
Yes, hello, this is the genius speaking.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Are you calling for one? Sorry, what?
RADEK
You hired me to investigate the cataclysm of Sarathi. This is a report.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Oh, right, of course! We still needed to get you set up in our computers, but it should all be in order now.
The secretary gives some instructions on how to send the notes directly into the database.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Just hit the button when you're done and it'll all update.
RADEK
Marvelous. We've already landed and I'll be taking readings before the day is finished, but first, our ship has been behaving strangely.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
(shocked)
That's terrible! Include it in the report. Is there anything else you need?
Radek pauses for a moment.
RADEK
Yes, I would like to register a complaint.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Oh, yes? What kind of complaint?
RADEK
The rest of the crew that I've been saddled with are some of the most aggravating people I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly, from some distance away, examining a random ship)
That's not very nice.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
I'm sorry, this doesn't fall under any of the designated categories for appropriate complaints.
RADEK
Well, it should!
SECRETARY (PHONE)
Is there anything else?
RHU
(to Radek)
Can we file a complaint against the inadequate complaint categories?
RADEK
Yes. My legs are quite tired and your bloody ship has locked us out in a state of depression. No doubt I'll need to walk everywhere to get this job done, now.
I expect no less than a significant increase in salary for this affront.
SECRETARY (PHONE)
I am terribly sorry about that. You have a nice day, now.
The secretary hangs up on him.
RADEK
Hrmph.
GREIBEL
Woah woah. This is so Lynchian.
Rhu pretends to be investigating the ship but clearly has no idea what he's doing.
RHU
This looks like a normal ship to me.
GREIBEL
Do you think SHIP is holding out on us?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't be silly. It gave us sandwiches. Bad people don't give sandwiches.
GREIBEL
Oh, okay. I can never tell from the hallucinations.
RHU
Greibel, are you any good at technology?
GREIBEL
(he smiles helpfully)
I'm a stoned druid, Rhu.
I can log onto Facebook, but don't expect much more than that.
RHU
(to Radek)
Maybe you should give the ship a once over? I wouldn't get on board, though, it's liable to take off at any moment.
RADEK
Yes, yes. Coming.
The Gravedigger checks the SHIP for holes. (rolled 9 perception (natural 1)) The SHIP dumps some fluid on his head.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey! That's not nice at all!
Radek chuckles to himself and also looks the ship over. He finds some scorch marks on the side. It looks like it may be the result of passing through a field of... bad stuff. Energy stuff. (rolled 27 technology)
RADEK
There's some kind of abnormal damage over here...
Greibel looks on in bewilderment.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not a HOLE, is it?
Radek examines the scorching more closely. (rolled 30 arcana (natural 20)) It looks like the sort of scouring that results from improper portal creation, like part of the hull went through a dimensional shift and burned slightly.
Greibel sees a squirrel and slowly approaches it. (rolled 1 reality)
RADEK
This... could be serious. Internal damage, maybe.
In the background Greibel does some communing with nature stuff and ends up placidly petting the squirrel. The squirrel nibbles and stuff, and rubs its head against Greibel's hand.
GREIBEL
Time and space are a cruel mistress, Rhu or Radek or whoever that was.
Greibel exudes and aura of solemn knowingness. Then the squirrel runs off behind some skiffs. (rolled 6 reality)
GREIBEL
Heh heh. Go along little buddy.
The Gravedigger plods over to one of the more rounded buildings.
RADEK
Did any of you notice us going through... portals?
GREIBEL
Every moment of life seems like going through a portal to me.
RADEK
That must be wonderful for you.
GREIBEL
However if there are shops in those buildings, chances are they're abandoned and we can just take some much needed provisions.
RHU
I... thought there was some strange static a couple of times on the way down. It couldn't be that, though, could it? The problem started up in space, before we even came down to his infernal planet.
(he eyeballs the rising sun)
Ugh.
The sun beams merrily.
Rhu turns darkly away from the sun.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, Sun.
Then the Gravedigger steps into the shadow of the building. A door slides open at his approach.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DOORS WORK, GUYS.
The Gravedigger heads inside.
RADEK
I'll have to take a closer look when we have more time. Unintentional transportations can't mean anything good. How bad, I'll find out later.
He heads after the Gravedigger.
GREIBEL
Be careful, though.
(he goes to the door as well)
Maybe the doors and other power-using utilities are only operating on residual backup power. We should make the most of every power-using decision.


INT. Sarathi building lobby - day
The group enters the building and wind up in a lobby. It is pleasantly cooled, and smells like peppermint for some reason. There's nobody around, and the front desk is empty. Everything is clean and shiny.
There are some stairs up, and some shops/service places off the the sides.
Greibel, unlike the others, sees corpses everywhere. (rolled 16 reality)
Rhu walks to a wall and touches it. Greibel sees him walk right through a corpse.
RHU
Shiny.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It really is.
RHU
Man, I wonder how they kept this place so clean. Not a speck anywhere.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe there's a little robot with a vacuum cleaner thing. Or a magic dust-killing spell!
GREIBEL
(staring)
Wooooooah. What. What?
RHU
Gotta be robots. No other way.
Rhu tries to make out one of the signs, but is interrupted by Greibel.
GREIBEL
Guys, we need to get out of here, right now.
RHU
(turning)
What? Why?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What, not enough drugs?
GREIBEL
Look at these people. These were not natural deaths...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll go check this shop. Maybe find a city map or something.
The Gravedigger heads into a bookshop.
RADEK
What people?
GREIBEL
Gods dammit Gravedigger!
Finding nothing in the bookshop, the Gravedigger starts checking some of the other shops.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(cheerfully, over his shoulder)
Shut up, druggie!
GREIBEL
You may not see the implements of my soul, but you can't tell me you don't see the agonized faces of these tortured corpses!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yes I can!
Rhu painstakingly examines all the shops one by one.
GREIBEL
Radek! You can see this! Can't you?
GREIBEL
You know the pain of perception!
Greibel shakes Radek by the shoulders.
RHU
Guys. Something's not right. I can't put my finger on it. It's ... not the cleanliness. What's that smell?
Rhu walks up to the chiropractor and looks in the window.
GREIBEL
Rhu, that is the smell of DEATH.
RHU
(he laughs)
I've smelled death. That is not death.
RADEK
Your breath is awful, but I wouldn't describe it as lethal. Get off of me.
Some of the corpses fade out of Greibel's sight. (rolled 10 reality)
He suddenly stops and stares awe. Then he seems to compose himself and lets go of Radek.
The glass of the chiropractor window suddenly disappears and Rhu falls into the shop. (rolled 2 reality)
The Gravedigger stops and smells the room. To him, it smells like bad magic. Like that time he tried to bury an illusion. (rolled 24 perception)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Guys! Guys guys guys!
RHU
Er...
(getting up)
What's up, Gravedigger?
Everyone starts talking over each other.
RHU
(walking back to the others)
Glass doesn't just ... disappear, does it?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This doesn't smell like peppermint. It smells like.... illuuuusion.
GREIBEL
Everybody, I know I'm an outcast and a substance abuser, but listen to me.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I tried burying one once. It was hard.
RADEK
(immediately perking up)
Illusions?!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I swear on my best shovel.
The Gravedigger waves his best shovel.
GREIBEL
I may be hallucinating, but I saw many dead, lying here as though in repose. These may be the illusions of a madman. I think they are impartions from a cosmic force beyond our own. Something happened here.
RHU
(to Gravy)
Something's wrong with the glass. It just... vanished.
GREIBEL
And we are tasked to find out what that was.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds illusory.
Radek! You can do magic, right? Do... something?
GREIBEL
Well, Gravedigger, you and I are wont to disagree. But I believe that these corpses did not simply vanish.
The Gravedigger starts poking random things with his shovel. They seem like... things. Solid things. They make nice clunks and stuff.
Rhu follows him and taps the glass on another random shop.
GREIBEL
Someone used to live here. Did you not notice the lack of skeletons? Bodies? Rotting flesh?
RADEK
Of course I can do magic.
GREIBEL
Is this place not immaculately clean for a highly populated area suddenly abandoned?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe they were all buried, Greibel. BURIAL IS A THING THAT HAPPENS.
GREIBEL
Gravedigger I do not deny your skill at burial, which is why you must know that burial is a complicated process. To bury all those alive in this thriving metropolis would take weeks. Much longer than the time since the blackouts.
RHU
(tapping the glass again)
Huh.
GREIBEL
And it would leave a societal trace in these buildings not felt now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe it was someone that was REALLY GOOD at burying. That could do lots of people at once!
Radek does some magic to remove illusions, and reveals several dead bodies as if out of nowhere, though not nearly as many as Greibel saw before. (rolled 27 arcana)
RHU
Holy crap!
GREIBEL
There! Do you see them?!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
RADEK
Bloody illusions.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dead people. IT'S SHOVEL TIME.
RADEK
Ask me sooner next time.
GREIBEL
You called me a fool. I called me a.... well a fool also, but still. I knew what was going on.
A strange hollow flopping sound comes down the stairs.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey! I just called you a druggie.
It turns out to be a large fish, as big as the Gravedigger, rolling down very slowly.
RHU
Gah! Fish!
GREIBEL
(to the Gravedigger)
I take no offense to your insinuation. It's true after all. However...
(he sees the fish)
AHHHHHH FISH.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
FLEE. THE FISH HAVE COME.
The large fish continues to roll slowly down the stairs for another few seconds. Then it stops at the base.
The Gravedigger bravely pokes it with his spade.
RHU
Wait! It might be pressurized. Like a sperm whale.
The spade pierces the fish's scales. It jiggles a bit. Like a soggy fish. Except the outside is dry.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This fish is lacking in structural integrity.
The fish sits there. The Gravedigger leans near the fish head.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(very loudly)
HELLO? IS SOMEONE IN THERE?
The fish does nothing.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I think it's empty, guys.
The fish emits a loud belching noise and collapses slightly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's farting, guys!
Rhu examines the fish as well.
GREIBEL
Well, it's a big fish.
Rhu walks over to the closest corpse and examines that instead. It looks like it might have asphyxiated, but there's no indication how. (rolled 27 perception)
RHU
This corpse looked like it asphyxiated. Maybe the fish fell on it... before?
RADEK
Does it smell like fish?
The Gravedigger heads up the stairs in search of more/other fish. The top is all pretty ordinary, with more shops and offices and things. No bodies or fish on the floor, just some potted plants. (rolled 14 reality)
Rhu leans over and smells the corpse.
RHU
...if there's a Fish King here, I'm leaving.
The Gravedigger smells the air to track the fish. (rolled 27 perception) He tracks the fish through the air to a random shop. Which is missing. Floor just sort of gone, walls ending, just broken edges giving way to open air outside the building a huge drop to the rest of the city below.
The shop door is hanging open.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(calling down the stairs)
GUYS. THE FISH SMELL COMES FROM A SHOP WITH A BIG HOLE.
The Gravedigger peeks into the shop/out of the building to see if there are nay fish crawling up the wall. There are apparently none.
The others head up the stairs as well.
Partway up, Radek sees some strange shimmering in the air as he goes up the stairs, but it disappears when he passes. (rolled 13 reality)
Radek pauses, and the Gravedigger starts smelling the air again. (rolled 18 perception)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I can't smell any illllluuuusions over this fish smell. Sorry, guys.
Everyone gathers around the shop door.
RHU
We need to assume that everything is illusory here.
Radek puts a foot down past where the floor would normally be. There seems to be floor - he just can't see it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WAIT.
The Gravedigger pulls Radek back and pokes the (lack of) ground with his spade. The spade goes through without resistance.
RHU
Huh.
GREIBEL
Oh that's far out.
Radek grumbles about illusions some more.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What. This is perplexing.
The Gravedigger pulls out an axe and drops it onto the space where the shovel went through. The axe clatters and lands on nothing.
He looks at his axe for a moment and then grabs it and stuffs it back into his bag. And stands there being perplexed.
GREIBEL
Shop Of Illusions!
Radek does some more magic to disillusion the shop. It seems to not entirely work. Nothing really happens. On the other hand, he does notice that the shop is partially there if he looks at it right. Sort of. (rolled 21 arcana)
The Gravedigger rolls his shoulders.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, guys, stand back. Let's sort this thing out.
Frezak (Gravy): Okay, so. My encounter power, 'roots of stone', creates a burst of rippling earth. I would like to use that power to shake up the shop floor. See if we can break the illusion the Gravedigger-style.
Ganelon (Radek): By breaking the floor?
Radek stands back.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Seriously. I'm up for breaking this shit.
Greibel peers over the edge.
GREIBEL
I will totally turn into a spider, if that's what needs to happen. Because spiders seriously give me quite a rush.
RADEK
Now if only you could turn into a productive member of society.
Greibel seems to take this as a yes and shapeshifts, but winds up turning into a swarm of pigeons instead of a spider. They flap around a bit, and several of them collide with the wall and fall to the ground, dazed.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOLY FUCK, GUYS. GREIBEL JUST GOT EATEN BY PIGEONS.
Rhu rubs his eyes.
GREIBEL
(as pigeons)
WHAT NO I AM PIGEONS.
The pigeons flop around a bit and are generally very disorganised.
The Gravedigger regards the pigeons for a moment and then trudges off into a random shop.
Meanwhile the pigeon swarm starts to sort itself out, becoming more organised and generally landing all over the floor, on handrails, and on Rhu's and Radek's heads.
Radek swats a pigeon off his head.
The Gravedigger comes back a moment later with a bucket of paint and some floor cleaner, and throws paint all over the inside of the mysterious shop.
Some of the paint hits and spreads, showing solid bits of floor and apparently a chair. Some of the paint goes right through the floor. Some of it hits solid floor, spreads, and then suddenly falls.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh. Crap.
RHU
Why did it do that? And why does it work with paint, and not with spades?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You mentioned portals, Radek?
RHU
...oh crap.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I think this place is all phasing. It's.. going between places.
RADEK
I have to agree.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Things are real and not real. Both. Its... SCHRODINGER'S SHOP. Shit's fucked up.
Radek tries to slap the Gravedigger across the back of his head, and winds up hitting his arm.
RADEK
That isn't how Shrodinger's experiment worked. Valman was the first one to perform in-depth studies into the nature of phasing and other dimensional instabilities.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe you should tell the Company this. I have made a discovery. Tell them I'm super smart.
RADEK
Hmph.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I DISCOVERY ABOUT HERE. GO DO THE TALKING THING.
Frezak (Gravy): Else I will make a lung attack Vs Fort.
RADEK
Bah! Fine!
A pigeon flaps around helpfully.
Radek gets out the computer and points its camera at the Gravedigger.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM DOING SCIENCE.
(he stops)
Is the thing recording yet?
RADEK
Go ahead.
The Gravedigger waves at the camera thing. He then goes back to the edge of the shop, waves Radek over and makes sure he's aiming the camera at the (lack of) floor, and splashes floor cleaner over the (lack of) floor, all the while waving and pointing excitedly and smiling a lot.
This time, however, the cleaner hits the floating paint and everything all falls through at once as soon as it does.
RADEK
Hm...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
THIS IS HOLE SCIENCE.
RADEK
Quiet down, they can hear you just fine.
Rhu leans over to see where the paint has fallen to. It looks like it mostly landed on a roof below.
RADEK
We believe this space to be part of a dimensional instability of some sort. The floor seems to be changing states between tangible and intangible constantly.
RHU
It's a creepy floor.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's here and not. This is going to make moving around here very difficult. Because of holes.
GREIBEL
(as pigeons)
We just have to perceive, man. It will be hard but valuable.
RADEK
That will be in the report.
RHU
Wait a minute. How do we know this isn't some kookie "illusion for the paying public" stunt this mall was doing? Maybe we should go back and focus on the dead guys?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yes, dead guys! I'll dig a hole.
The Gravedigger stops and seems to suddenly realise something, and then plods off down the stairs.
RHU
But... maybe a crazy scientist did a thing. Maybe another Gravedigger was researching advanced digging, or something. We don't know that this weird room has anything to do with anything apart from the fish.
Rhu follows the Gravedigger down the stairs. Radek concludes the report and does the same.
The Greibel pigeon swarm flies up around them as they leave, then flaps out the door of the shop into the open air. (rolled 6 reality) Pigeons bounce off the far wall.
GREIBEL
(as pigeons)
Aaaaaah what.
A cat, Lokshmi, appears in the doorway, watching the flock of pigeons. Then the flock starts to come back together.
LOKSHMI
You should come back inside before you do that.
Greibel coalesces back into an elf over open air.


Next ≫
Session 1 (Overview)
Retrieved from ‘https://wiki.zaori.org/w/index.php?title=Holes/Session_1&oldid=2906’

Did Boaty McBoatface teach them nothing? Council asks for names for its two new road gritters and the public answers with ... Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney and David Plowie.