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I understand you exactly. You could have been something once. You had all the worlds ahead of you, and you threw it away, you wasted it, you, because you didn't care, and so you slipped further and further away. The others lost you, too, because they were just like you, and they didn't care any more than you did. They were just like you, and they are still just like you were, now, and so you hate them. And yet the only one you hate more than them is yourself.