Holes/Session 49
A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
Apheori (GM) pokes roll20. Apheori (GM): Frezak? Can we start? Ganelon: Well you got my attention. Apheori (GM): Is there cake? Yay! Apheori (GM) kidnaps Gan. Apheori (GM): Right, so, we have everyone but Ellemerr. Gravy was being guide because as it turned out, Greibel was probably going the wrong direction. If you want to believe a 15. Frezak (GM): We may not be led in the right direction, but at least we're being led with a veneer of confidence. Ganelon: Misplaced confidence, at that. Apheori (GM): You are now going eastish through the woods. I need to find the map/ . Gaurav: http://wiki.zaori.org/wiki/File:Holes_dorgin_area_map.jpg Apheori (GM): Huh, you're headed inland. That means the airship would have been going to/from Rameris or something thatway... The buckets? I am so confused. Gaurav: How close did we get to those hostile trees? I'm imagining them getting all excited to see adventurers and raring for a fight, only to see us turn away and head back the way we came. Maybe it overshot Dorgin? Apheori (GM): Uh... like a 20-minute walk away. Hmm, maybe. An infestation of lemurs would do that. Gaurav: o.0 Apheori (GM): Who wants to unlose the party? Actually, no, Gravy is confident. Whatever, sorry. Gravy: Nature. Frezak (GM): rolling 1D20+11 ( 11 ) +11 = 22 Apheori (GM): Okay. It probably really is the right direction. Also you seem to be headed uphill. Greibel: You sense that really big tree nearby. The Gravedigger: I sense... a tree. I speak sooth! Come, friends. Apheori (GM): Fine, I guess he did too. Actually that makes sense. Frezak (GM): Oops Apheori (GM): WEIRD NATURE PEOPLE. Frezak (GM): thought hat we me >.> Apheori (GM): Eh, it does make sense. Rhu: _A_ tree? Gaurav: I assume we're still surrounded by trees here. Apheori (GM): Oh, and Amadi poofed at some point. Before this. In the woods. Radek: ...This is how I'm going to die, isn't it? Frezak (GM): Can I roll Prophecy on how Radek will die? Apheori (GM): You're surrounded. But this one is really big! THE really big one, for Greibel. Frezak (GM): Or can I just make one? Bear Soup Guy: Sorry, I was stopped and made to help build a grocery list Apheori (GM): Uh... sure. How does that work? BSG: Tree. Gravy senses it too, apparently. The Gravedigger: Don't be silly, Radek. You're going to die at the hands of your second-greatest invention. Ganelon: Well if the prophecy is supposed to come true, it... doesn't. Work, that is. Frezak (GM): Gravy will pat Radek reassuringly. Apheori (GM): Gravy: I need a d20. For... reasons. BSG: You're back, right? Bear Soup Guy: For the moment Frezak (GM): rolling 1D20 ( 6 ) = 6 Bear Soup Guy: I might be bothered a lot by IRL people on and off during today's session unfortunately But I'll keep coming back Apheori (GM): Fudge. I NEED YOU. Bah. BSG: You sense a tree. Gravy mentioned it too. Unless Gravy would go out of his way to talk to a tree? Frezak (GM): We're here for the Airship, right? And Radek is grumpy... and would probably want airship... Apheori (GM): Yeah, basically. Tree just happens to be on the way. Frezak (GM): So it's probably Airship. Ganelon: Grumpy is pretty typical. Bear Soup Guy: I guess Greibel walks to a tree then Apheori (GM): Look, I need you to go to the tree. I wrote up a bunch of stuff for it like a month ago and I need to use it. BSG was supposed to get you there. BSG: THE tree? It's really big. At this point you can't see it, just sense it. It's big. Bear Soup Guy: Whatever tree you have stuff written up for Apheori (GM): Thank you. >.< Greibel starts walking in a slightly different direction that is only mostly the same direction as Gravy was going. Rhu: (to Greibel) Oy! Apheori (GM): Gravy: That's the direction of the tree. Frezak (GM): I'll just follow Greibel. HIs turn to lead. This is a Democracy. Apheori (GM): Poor Radek. Rhu continues to follow Gravy as he starts following Greibel. Ganelon: Don't feel bad for him. He was about to destroy the world this morning to prove a point. Apheori (GM): XD Okay, so the woods abruptly end at a large, shaded clearing. In the middle of it is this really massive trunk, situated up on a bit of a rise in the middle of the clearing. Overhead are branches, lots and lots of branches, though from here you can't even really see how big the thing actually is. Basically the other trees are too short to compete with this thing so they just stop in its shade. The ground is mostly just rocks and crap. Thick roots jut out and over the rocks, even sticking out of the ground where it has eroded around them, forming bridges and walkways up to the trunk itself, several metres in diameter. Roots and trunk alike are covered in rough, mossy bark. Greibel: There's a presence within the tree, or maybe the tree is the presence. Either way, it seems quite intelligent, and it's watching you. You can go talk to it if you want. Apheori (GM): It seems to be humming to itself. Gravy hears the humming too. Frezak (GM): Gravy hums along and inspects the earth. Greibel steps up to the tree Apheori (GM): It's rocky and full of roots, but the dirt itself seems to be quite good. If you could just move the roots, it would be an excellent place to bury things. Greibel: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY! HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT! I'VE GOT A PHD IN TREE! Apheori (GM): The tree actually seems to recoil a bit at this. Tree: AGH WHAT? Gaurav: Do we need to bury anything at the mo'? Frezak (GM): Always be prepared! Apheori (GM): Also you can all hear the tree. Frezak (GM): If we need to bury something in a hurry, Gravy would be mortified if he didn't have a spot ready. Greibel: COME ON MAN. WHAT YOU GOT? YOU WANNA GO? The Gravedigger: This is quality soil. Greibel: Nah, I'm just kidding. Radek: ... Tree: Go what? Greibel: I sensed you over back there, you seemed important. What's up? Radek: So you found a talking tree. Tree: Ah, bugger man, yeah. I've been found. Greibel: Yeah. That's druids, man. We find trees. Sorry about that. Tree: Like nature, what. All prickly and massive. Dude. Sorry? You're not sorry. If you were sorry, it'd be all bugs to me. Whatcha need? Greibel: Uh...that's a good question. Give me a second Dawn: (from a good distance away) Hi tree. Rhu walks around the tree, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. Greibel: (To everyone) Hey, guys! If we hypothetically met a giant tree spirit thing, sentient, intelligent, you know, what would we ask it for?! Tree: Yo. The Gravedigger: Does it do wishes, hypothetically? Apheori (GM): Rhu: Nature. The Gravedigger: Hello tree. Rhu: rolling d20+10 nature check on tree ( 5 ) +10 = 15 Tree: (to Rhu) Oy no poking, what. Hello, digger. Gaurav: Rhu will only realise the tree is talking to it if it, like, points at him or looks at him or something. Apheori (GM): The voice just booms around him. The Gravedigger: Digger is in the other comic. Call me Gravy. Apheori (GM): Unless he pokes it after. Does he poke it after? Gaurav: Nooo. He will respect the tree's wishes not to be poked, especially as it is much, much taller than him. Tree: Yeah, man, Gravy. Dawn: People usually ask for stupid things. Things like power and truth and stuff that just makes things worse. Futures. Radek: (To Greibel) Does it know anything about the holes? Rhu: Truth! That's a great idea. We could ask it about truth. Greibel looks back at the tree and shrugs Dawn gives Rhu a very disappointed look. Greibel: Holes? What's up with them, right? Tree: Uuuugh. Even worse than nature, holes. Tunnel up through your roots, eating away, burning... BURNING. AGH. Apheori (GM): Some old leaves flutter down around you. Radek does not look impressed. Apheori (GM): And a squirrel falls out of the tree. Ganelon: The animal or the other kind? Apheori (GM): Oh, the animal. Gaurav: Heh, I was just about to do a perception check for wildlife. Greibel: Hmmm, I hear ya, man. Dawn: (to the tree) Who are you? Tree: What does it look like? I'm a treee. Been here ages, you know. Wasn't even a forest back then. Bloody elf buggers. Apheori (GM): Want to ask it anything else? Rhu: Have you seen an airship around here anywhere? Frezak (GM): Dammmit, Rhu! I was going to ask that! Tree: With or without dead folk? Gaurav sticks his tongue out at Frezak Gaurav: Either. We're not fussy. The Gravedigger: There's several? ANd how dead are we talking? Ooogly woogly walking dead? Tree: They come, they go. They avoid my branches. Gaurav: I'll brb, my browser is crapping up >.< Tree: The dead were moving about, if that's whatcha mean. Like little bugs. Headless and yet still sooo bothersome. Radek looks up skeptically at the tree. Radek: How do you perceive anything? Tree: I gots senses, what. You're cold and feel like earth. Gravy is warm and feels like earth. How do you get along? The Gravedigger: I have an endless source of jollyness. Radek: We don't. Dawn giggles. Ganelon: Those two answers are probably related. The Gravedigger flutter lashes at Radek. Apheori (GM): XD The Gravedigger: You tease. Yeah, airship, dead people? Tree: Beetles, I see. The Gravedigger hefts shovel. Tree: Yeah, maaan. The Gravedigger: .. This isn't a threatening gesture, I was thinking about the dead people. Tree: They went smash. Apheori (GM): Gravy: You get a sense of the direction as the tree says it, with a vague memory of an airship shape and stuff crashing into a bunch of smaller trees. The Gravedigger: Sweet. Apheori (GM): At the same time, there's a bit of a crashing in the branches above. The Gravedigger: Anything we can do for you while we're here? Rhu: Are you guys, like, a species or something? We saw a giant tree next to a Hole earlier, but it seemed to be dead. Er, like two hundred years ago on the other side of this planet. Or something. Apheori (GM): This time Squirrel falls out of the tree. Frezak (GM): Back in 10 minutes. Squirrel bounces up, squeealing happily, and then just runs off into the rest of the trees. Apheori (GM): Radek: You're like 90% sure that didn't actually just happen. Greibel looks on for a moment Greibel: Fun girl. Ganelon: 90% is a pretty good probability. I'll go with it. Apheori (GM): Okay, I'ma answer Rhu and Gravy and then... er... do something I should have done already. Tree: (to Gravy) Naw, man, don't do it. You'll dig too far and it'll get out this time. (to Rhu) Trees, man. Apheori (GM): Those 'man's should have been dudes. And I'll be right back. Gaurav: One of these days I need to play a D&D character who's hard of hearing. And see how long it takes my party to kill me. Bear Soup Guy: XD Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: The tree actually seems to be quite happy just talking to you. You get the impression it's a bit lonely. But only a small bit. Gaurav: What, with squirrels and Squirrel in its hair? Apheori (GM): I'm not sure those do much to help anything. The Gravedigger: Hey, if you could make a platform thing with some branches, maybe Airships would stop by on their way past. Tree: Hmmmm. Apheori (GM): There's something of a shuffling really high up. Tree: Maaaaybe. The Gravedigger: Just a thought. I we see living airship people we'll suggest it. Tree: Coool, man. The Gravedigger: Everyone good to go poke around this ariship, then? Raaaaadek? Apheori (GM): There's another crashing in the branches above. This time the tree actually seems to notice. Frezak (GM): Leaning in a swervy fashion towards the grump. Tree: Whaaaat? Radek crosses his arms. Tree: There is a horrible WHOMP as two large figures crash into the ground at high speed, one propelled downward by the other, and taking the brunt of the impact as a result. A cloud of dirt and leaves is thrown outward. Apheori (GM): Er, ooc. Frezak (GM): Wyverns! Apheori (GM): A moment later, branches shower down around everyone, especially the two figures. Radek narrowly dodges one. A branch, that is. Ganelon: Wretched nature! Apheori (GM): Rhu, on the other hand, dodges right into a branch and gets clonked on the head. Ganelon: How dare it fall on me! Tree: Man, watch it, will you? Frezak (GM): I cover Radek with my shield. Apheori (GM): This seems to be directed at the figures, not you guys. Gaurav: Heeeee. Perfect. Can Rhu be knocked unconscious? How much damage? Apheori (GM): 7 damage, and if you want. Rhu points in a few random directions, including upwards, then says "Blarble!" with some gusto before falling over backwards. Frezak (GM): I'll poke Rhu to see if he's alive. Ellemerr: O_o Apheori (GM): As everything stops falling down, Amadi randomly appears. Rhu seems to be fine. And the two figures who just fell out of the sky are doing stuff too, apparently completely oblivious to the damage they caused. Ganelon: Well, what stuff are they doing? Amadi brushes some twigs and leaves out of her hair. They are distinctly different from the leaves this tree (or Tree, even) has got. Apheori (GM): Moment. Rhu opens his eyes, but chooses to remain on the ground until the world stops spinning. Gaurav: This is clearly not a good place to be flying around. Airships, large figures, everything's falling out of the sky these days. Apheori (GM): Oh gods this is tacky. The top figure, a masked woman dressed all in grey, gets up slowly, her foot rather firmly planted on the other's chest. The other one just looks ridiculous. It's got gleaming bits sticking out all over, and geometric holes through it in odd locations, and entirely too many limbs, and too much colour. Some parts are like windows into the cosmos, revealing starfields and more, while others are just unreal. It's all a bit beat up at this point, however, full of twigs and covered in dirt, and leaves, and a bit of what might be blood. Ridiculous-looking figure: You can't do this. Grey figure: I have made my position known, and I have sued for peace, and still you have persisted. Relent. End your futile struggle. Relent. Apheori (GM): Any interest in interrupting this? Frezak (GM): Nope. (From Ellemerr): Do I know any of 'em? Frezak (GM): Well, Gravy will wander up and loom in an interested fashion. Gaurav: Nope. Ganelon: Sounds like that might even be illegal. Frezak (GM): In that Gravy is unable to not loom. Ganelon: I'd like to try to uh... identify the ridiculous one? Gaurav: How large are these large figures? (To Ellemerr): The top one is Kyrule, god of death, and the bottom on is Djieka, god of chaos and luck. Ganelon: What the hell is it? Amadi tries to look inconspicuous somewhere behind Gravy. Apheori (GM): They're a bit bigger than Gravy. The grey one might be about meter taller, and the other one... er... is a bit too ridiculous to tell. How do you identify things in D&D? Ganelon: Skills, but if this isn't something that would be documented, either as a species or phenomenon or legend, etc, then you can just say it's not possible to know what it is. Gaurav: Greibel identified the women-made-of-weasels (?) before any of us did; we could get him to look at these peeps and see what he says. Rhu can check for any religious angle on these peeps if that seems useful. Ganelon: ...And hope it's not something like "Whoa. Far Out."? Gaurav: And there's always Gravyvision. Hahaha. Apheori (GM): BSG: You around? Gaurav: "Oh my god, it's full of stars!" Apheori (GM): Radek: You're reasonably sure it's some kind of god. Nothing else would be that... excessive. Ganelon: And it's gettin' beat up? Apheori (GM): Yup. Ganelon: Then hell no he's not interrupting. Gaurav: Oh huh. Tell Rhu that so he can religion check it or something. Ridiculous-looking figure: I will not relent! Not to you! Apheori (GM): The grey one looks down on him in utter disappointment. Grey figure: You fool. Ganelon: I shouldn't need to. If religion as a skill would allow you to know what god this is, your character doesn't need outside knowledge to think it's a god. Because succeeding on the skill means Rhu would recognize it on his own. Apheori (GM): She kneels down on top of him, and he tries to pull away, but he's pinned, half-buried already from the force of the impact, and held down, for she is far bigger, far more real, pressing him to the earth. She curls her fingers on his chest, and half-whispers: Grey figure: One last chance. Relent. The Gravedigger: 'scuse me. You guys gods? Amadi whimpers a little from behind Gravy. The Gravedigger: Because I had some questions. Apheori (GM): She looks up slowly and holds up a finger in Gravy's direction. Grey figure: A moment, please. The Gravedigger: Okay. Apheori (GM): And Rhu, go ahead and religion them if you want. Rhu gets up and, dusting himself off, walks towards Gravy. Rhu: rolling d20+10 religion check against the gods ( 7 ) +10 = 17 Apheori (GM) almost falls out of her chair laughing. Apheori (GM): Grey one is probably Kyrule. You have no idea about the other one, probably never even heard of it. Rhu: (to everybody) I think the grey one is Kyrule. Hazz' said he might know about the Holes or something. (to Amadi) And you've talked about him from time to ... you okay? Why are you whimpering? Ellemerr: brb Amadi makes sushing motions and pretends she's not there. Apheori (GM): Meanwhile Kyrule turns her full attention back on the other one and demands that he relent again. He doesn't answer. Ganelon: Hazz wanted you to beat Kyrule over the head at one point, apparently. This might be an excellent, or terrible, opportunity to do that. Ellemerr: Yep. Probably a bit of both. Apheori (GM) giggles. Gaurav: Not while she's busy crushing another god into the ground, I don't think. I'll wait until after she speaks with Gravy. God to god. Dawn: (to Rhu) We're not here, okay? Not here. Apheori (GM): Dawn is also hiding behind Gravy. Frezak (GM): Might not be the best place given that he's right next to these people. Apheori (GM): Yeah, well, he's big. Ellemerr: But he's so nice and - yeah, that. Gaurav: There is a giant tree to hide behind or climb up if they like. Apheori (GM): Let's just say these two didn't get away when they had the chance the last time; I don't see them likely being any more sensible this time. Ellemerr: Might be more of these up there. Gravy's familiar and safe. Apheori (GM): Though maybe they are. He is. Kyrule: (to the guy) Then I shall have your heart. All of your joy, your hope, your worth, everything that makes you who and what you are, will be taken. Even your light. And your life. Ridiculous-looking figure: No! The Gravedigger: That sounds pretty mean. Are you the bad guy? I'm only asking because I might have to interrupt. Apheori (GM): She ignores Gravy and draws a strange, brilliant light out of the ridiculous-looking one's chest and it forms a bit of a ball in her hand. As she does so, he almost seems to come up with it, fighting, trying to get it back, until she pulls it too far away and he falls back, not moving, his colour faded, his reality... lessened. Gaurav: That sounds ... extreme. Kyrule: And you will have nothing. Amadi tries to really not be there. The Gravedigger: I'm gonna be honest. You don't seem like a very nice entity. Dawn clings to Amadi. Kyrule: I'm not. The Gravedigger shrugs. The Gravedigger: At least you're honest about it. So what was that all about, then? Kyrule takes the light, now cupping it in both hands, and presses it to her own chest, and it disappears. Kyrule rises slowly, focusing on nothing in particular, before finally turning to Gravy. The Gravedigger: Me waves. Frezak (GM): oops The Gravedigger waves Kyrule: He thought to oppose me, blind to the consequences, the devastation that an all out war would cause. Most of the gods understood, but only most. For those who would not relent, I could only show them that there will be other consequences, more personal, more close to home. Fools. The Gravedigger: You sound like the grump. Radek: Don't you think that there are greater concerns at the moment than punishing dissidents? The Gravedigger: No offense, grump. Radek: Or is the unraveling of the dimensions somehow beneath you? The Gravedigger whispers to Radek. "You mean that morally rather than spatially, right?" Kyrule: Always. Which is why their dissidence could not be allowed to continue. Kyrule walks around Gravedigger and peers behind him at the midgets. The Gravedigger rotates to hide the midgets. Ellemerr: The midgets rotate with him, of course. Frezak (GM): The midgets that are probably peering around him. Apheori (GM): She's too tall to actually stop her, unless you... I don't even know. Frezak (GM): I lean backwards. Ellemerr: xD Apheori (GM): Okay. Ganelon: Flawless. Frezak (GM): SO they can hide under and behind. Apheori (GM): She leans over too. Gaurav: Hee. Frezak (GM): Unless she curves like a noodle, they should be shielded. Rhu: Um, excuse me, Your ... Godliness. My god Hazz'ridan the All-End asked me to speak with you. Apheori (GM): Yeah, pretty much. She stops and then back away a bit. Dawn leans out and makes shooing gestures with her hands. Ellemerr: Lemme know when/if Amadi is spotted so thoroughly that there's no further point in hiding. Frezak (GM): Gravy gives her a friendly beam to bluff that it's just coincidental that he felt like pivoting and bending backwards. Apheori (GM): Oh blimey. Rhu: He thought you might be able to help with these ... Holes? Big creepy crack in reality spewing zombies? The Gravedigger: Zombies! Shadow stuff. Also a beach, I think. Ganelon: I missed my chance to actually add this at the right time, but Radek would answer Gravy's question. Rhu: Yes! That too. Ganelon: "I do not." Frezak (GM): You could pretend you spent all that time thinking about. Gravitas. Apheori (GM): Agh, crap, did I even write this part? It was a huge-arse part. >.< Ganelon: No, he'd be pretty quick to deny caring about the moral decay of the universe. Kyrule: And your Hazz'ridan could not even bring this up himself, not now, not in the beginning, not ever? He is not one you should be following, certainly not regarding this. Gaurav: If Rhu has Kyrule's attention now, he'll step around her so that her back is towards Gravy and the midgets. Radek mutters to Gravy. Radek: ...Do you think he'll finally listen now that a god's said it? The Gravedigger: No. Religious people don't listen. That's how they manage to keep it up. Apheori (GM): She doesn't bother to keep facing Rhu, and smiles slightly at what Gravy said. Rhu: He can't help us as much as he'd like. We need to fix these Holes ourself. Apheori (GM): You aren't wrong. The Rifts need to be closed. Unfortunately, where he won't act because the rifts serve his interests, I cannot act. Tree said that. Tree: AGH. Ellemerr: xD Apheori (GM): THAT WAS KYRULE. Rhu: His interests? Apheori (GM): NOT THE TREE. NOT HEM. ME. Ellemerr: It's a tough world, dear. Apheori (GM): >.> Yes. The Gravedigger: Hey, Tree? What do you think of this ladypersonthing? Rhu: Anyway, yes, we are attempting to close the Holes. We closed one just a few days ago, but then our shadows came to life and tried to kill us and stuff. Well, he did. (points towards Radek) Apheori (GM): Agh, I can't even keep up with this. Is this what you do in real conversations, keep piling stuff on so people can't respond to any one of the things? >.> Radek just rolls his eyes at Kyrule's statement. In a "of course you can't", sort of way. Ganelon: Nah, this happens a lot. Frezak (GM): Yes. Ganelon: In online TTRPG conversations. Apheori (GM): Heh. >.< Ganelon: Generally I just try to maintain the etiquette to not type when I can see someone else is (who is in the same conversation as my character). Note that when you're doing /me, however, it shows up as you (the player) typing to others. It used to not show up at all, which caused all kinds of confusion. Now it just causes diminished amounts of confusion. Apheori (GM): Okay, I'm just going to ignore everything Rhu said after the first bit. He didn't actually say that. Bad Gaurav. Frezak (GM): O.o Apheori (GM): Becuase he'd wait, presumeably. Gaurav: Sure. Apheori (GM): OKAY. Kyrule: His goal is to spread, through whatever means possible. He is as a plague upon the named realms, spreading through and beyond, and where rifts in the fabric of the realms arise, he uses and propagates them further. Tree: (to Gravy) Seems a little different from before, but she's all good, man. Done something with her hair. The Gravedigger: Sweet. Thanks, tree. Kyrule: (to the tree) Hey Vivek. Tree: Hey yourself. What's up, man? Apheori (GM): Rhu: Continue your conversation or get back to the point. >.> Gaurav: Hee, thanks! Kyrule: Oh, you know how it is. You die horribly, you put on a new face, you wonder where it all went wrong... Tree: Oh, no, no idea what you're talking about. No idea at all. Rhu: We're trying to close those rifts. I think he's mostly supportive of this goal. Assuming those Holes are also rifts, I guess. I don't know if I actually know what we're doing. Kyrule: Perhaps. Rhu: Are there others out there, trying to close the Holes? Apheori (GM): She ignores Rhu and looks around for anyone smarter. Radek: None. They're too busy dismissing my theories. Radek gives Gravy a sharp glare. Ganelon: Uh oh. I was just trying to be snappy but now I've just drawn attention to myself, haven't I? Apheori (GM): Dun dun dun. I'll be right back. I'm really bad at this, I'm sorry. Ganelon: Quoth the tree: "It's cool, dude." Apheori (GM): Eh, Kyrule should have just ignored Rhu from the start. It would have avoided so many problems. Ganelon: Poor Rhu. Apheori (GM): Rhu: Feel free to continue to do whatever. Even if she ignores you, your party members needn't and all that. Gaurav: Will do! Kyrule: (to Radek) Your theories are largely correct, but unfortunately the rifts and thinnies are but small symptoms of the overall problem. Radek: I wasn't waiting for your validation, but by all means, continue. Ganelon: That's uh... for the record, not him being smug or anything. Rather, he's not so disdainful of the divine that he'll outright sabotage his own efforts to gather information. Kyrule: The universe grows thin. It is old and tired, and all the fighting of the worlds simply weakens it further. Radek: ... The Gravedigger: That's cheery. Ganelon: She's saying that the expansion of the universe is fucking everything up? I have to IMPLODE THE UNIVERSE to fix this? Apheori (GM): I think she's saying it's idiots with magic that's doing it. Ganelon: Oh. Apheori (GM): But that doesn't mean your conclusion was necessarily wrong. Apheori (GM) grins. Gaurav: Destroy the universe to save it. It's the only way. Apheori (GM): Your companion wasn't wrong. I should be fixing this. But Kyrule as Kyrule does not know how. He was not given that knowledge when he was named, for to do so would only have broken his mind. He must learn on his own, and that is no easy task. I've only seen it done once before, and it took many tries before that succeeded, and great cost. Kyrule: Your companion wasn't wrong. I should be fixing this. But Kyrule as Kyrule does not know how. He was not given that knowledge when he was named, for to do so would only have broken his mind. He must learn on his own, and that is no easy task. I've only seen it done once before, and it took many tries before that succeeded, and great cost. Kyrule grumps. Apheori (GM): Dammit. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT. The Gravedigger: Soooo.... Dimensional spackle won't cut it? Rhu: (to Kyrule) Might ... Hazz'ridan have that knowledge? Radek: You'll need to forgive me for refusing to wait patiently for Kyrule to come upon a solution without assistance. To affect change on this scale seems to be impossible, however. I am outnumbered astronomically by the presence of counter-productive fools. Kyrule: (to Radek) Good. Just please, as with this morning, try to restrain yourself when things go ill - the more damage is done, the worse the overall situation will become. Those fools need not incite you to become equally foolish. The Gravedigger: Seeeee? Apheori (GM): I want Greibel. The Gravedigger: I told you it was a bad idea to shatter the universe! Apheori (GM): Hmph. Bear Soup Guy: huh? Apheori (GM): Hi. Your party members are talking to another god. Anything to chime in? Radek: Hmph. Bear Soup Guy: I haven't got the foggiest understanding of any of this Radek: It could have served to persuade him. Bear Soup Guy: So I doubt Greibel has either :P Apheori (GM): Fine, then ask her about petunias or something. Greibel: HEY LADY! HEY! HEY! HEY LADY! HEY NICE LADY! Greibel jumps up and down pointing at himself Greibel: WOOP WOOP! Kyrule: Um... yes? Greibel: What is your favorite salad? Kyrule takes off her mask and gives Greibel a long look. Greibel strikes a pose Ellemerr: xD Ganelon: Like a superhero pose? A fashion model pose? A... Michael Jackson pose? Greibel: Sort of a mock-handsome-model pose Oh right the fashion model one Bear Soup Guy: err OOC Gaurav: What sort of mask is Kyrule wearing? What does she look like without it? Kyrule: Caesar salad, I suppose. Greibel: Oooooooo, excellent choice. Mine's POTATO SALAD! BOINK! Greibel throws a potato at Kyrule Apheori (GM): That mask from the wiki, except in mirrored silver, and without it she looks... uh, like someone not wearing a mask. Fairly normal, kind of pretty? Kyrule catches the potato and then looks at it like it's a bit unusual. Greibel grins knowingly Bear Soup Guy: This is all part of his plan that he hasn't thought of yet And he probably never will Frezak (GM): That's the best kind of plan! Radek: ...As I said, counter-productive fools. Ganelon: Personally I approve wholeheartedly of Greibel's cunning sceme. SCHEME Ugh. Kyrule approves too. Silently. Invisibly. Amadi loves the scheme and would normally help, but is still in hiding. Rhu: (to Kyrule, knowing full well that she'll ignore him) Can you help us with any of this? I think we're looking for Holes to experiment on, or other ... smart people who can help. Apheori (GM): Amadi: She probably saw you, but just pretended not to. Radek: That would be useful, yes. Amadi is fine with the continued pretension. Radek: If... hrm. Ganelon: He's just gonna start thinking to himself. Reversing the expansion of the universe requires a lot of power! Probably more than he can bring to bear. Kyrule: (to Radek) Your research has made consiserable strides already. The question is, what do you intend to do with it? Ganelon: But then I remembered, we have a not-shovel of immense power. Apheori (GM): You actually have it? Frezak (GM): UH-HUH Apheori (GM): Oh blimey. Ganelon: Okay, KNOWLEDGE OF one. Frezak (GM): In our grasp. Metaphorically. Ganelon: It might be worth looking into getting it in our grasp literally. Frezak (GM): Yesssssss Radek: What else? I have to correct this monumental blunder before it's too late. Kyrule: All of it? Everything? Do you intend to fix everything, every hole, every tear, every thin spot in the entirety of the fabric of the universe? And when the one is finished, what of the others? Will you move on, universe to universe, until all of the multiverse is solid and absolute, no more holes, no more uncertainty, no more variance in the possibilities that face those within? What then, when you are unto, nay, beyond a god yourself? What will you do but continue as you always have, without reason, only a purpose that has outlived any need? Is this what you want? When do you stop? The Gravedigger: If you're going to do a job, you do it right. Or until you're tired and feel like a nap. Ganelon: Just a sec. Kyrule: That works with burying things. Not so much with purpose, or reason. Have you ever buried a god? The Gravedigger: Not yet! That I know of. I did a dragon the other day. Radek: ...Why should I stop? The Gravedigger: Because if you remove all variance in the world it would be sad and boring, you boob. Apheori (GM): I love Gravy. Radek: The nature of progress is infinite. I can always find a direction to advance in - even the search itself is progress. I will never need to stop. Apheori (GM): Gods don't stay buried. That makes it work, because for something that big to simply stay put indefinitely would take a piece of the world away, removed, nonexistent. Kyrule: Gods don't stay buried. That makes it work, because for something that big to simply stay put indefinitely would take a piece of the world away, removed, nonexistent. Progress shouldn't stay buried either, but if you close it up, remove the opportunities, it loses its potential. It is no longer infinite. Tree: Just don't go burying anything in my roots, 'kay? The Gravedigger: No probs, Tree. Apheori (GM): Also I should point out that there is a god corpse on the ground behind Kyrule. Probably in need of burial. Radek waves his hand dismissively. Radek: If I can reverse the expansion of the universe, I can encourage it as well. The flaws that have led to this catastrophe may yet be corrected. Ganelon: If he ever achieves so much power that he can do this, why not just fix the universe so it can be all diverse and yet not get holes torn all over it in the process? Kyrule: To find that balance is a hard problem, and why we are in this situation in the first place. How do you know you will know when to reverse the process back, when you cannot see it with an absolute eye? Apheori (GM): Heeee. Ask her that. >.> Amadi makes a disdainful snort from behind Gravy, forgetting for a moment that she's "not there". Gaurav: Now I want an absolute eye. Ellemerr: Here, take mine. It's been creeping me out anyway. Kyrule tries walking around Gravy again, this time going the other direction. The Gravedigger pivots amiably. Kyrule: You still dig holes, yes? Gaurav takes Ellemerr's absolute eye and adds it to his inventory. Gaurav: Thanks, Ellemerr! Ellemerr: You're welcome, I guess. The Gravedigger: Yep. Tree: Dude, not in my roots you don't. The Gravedigger: 's cool, Tree. Chill out. Kyrule: Bury things? Tree: As long as it's not in my roots. The Gravedigger: Yep. Kyrule: (indicating the dead ridiculous guy) Would you like to bury a god? Ganelon: WOULD I!? The Gravedigger is silent for a while. The Gravedigger stares at the dirt and the stars. The Gravedigger: Yes. But first I must hide my mmm-----aaaarigolds? Gaurav: Hee. Kyrule: Just as long as it's not petunias. I don't think we could take it if it were petunias. Ellemerr: brb (To Ellemerr): This is relevant because the last thing she said before he killed her was "I'm turning into a bowl of petunias." The Gravedigger starts shuffling backwards slowly. (To Ellemerr): You're a bowl of petunias. Or a petunia. Or something. Radek: ...What's wrong with him? Kyrule tries to keep a straight face. Kyrule: He needs to hide his... marigolds. From me. For reasons. I can see right through you, you know! Frezak (GM): I want to get to the treeline that I may hide my... flowers. Apheori (GM): I don't think anyone stops you. Frezak (GM): Hide behind a tree and shout "JUST PUTTING AWAY MY... UH... FLOWERS. YES SIRREE." Rhu: Why petunias? Why not petunias? rolling d20+10 religion check significance of petunias ( 8 ) +10 = 18 Apheori (GM): You have no idea. The Gravedigger: Okay, tree, where's a good place for me to bury this here god? Tree: Hmmmmm. How about... Tree shuffles a bunch of roots around, finally making a space for a grave a bit off to the side. Tree: Here. The Gravedigger: Great. The Gravedigger pulls up imaginary sleeves. The Gravedigger: Let's do this! Frezak (GM): And hums the tree song. Apheori (GM): Gravy digs a hole and stuff. Anyone else doing anything? Is Ellemerr back yet? Ellemerr: I am now! (From Ellemerr): And that's awesome. xD Ganelon: Radek's just going to think about how he could possibly experiment on these things under controlled circumstances. (To Ellemerr): It's particularly funny because the real Kyrule didn't even get the reference. Ganelon: You know, rather than just winging it and hoping it works on the entire universe. Like "hmm... perhaps I could first create a miniverse..." Gaurav: Given that we are looking for the airship to get out of the Dorgin area, we could ask Kyrule to transport us somewhere or something. If we have somewhere we want to go. Maybe back to Coffle? (To Ellemerr): Whereas this one did and then some. Ganelon: We just came from Coffle, though. Why go back? Gaurav: There's a Hole near it to experiment on. Apheori (GM): While Gravy's digging and the midgets are stowed, Kyrule seems to address Radek. For some reason she's looking at Greibel, however. Gaurav: And wizards, and a doorway to Arah, and all the town guards you could ever want. (From Ellemerr): Awesome. Yuss. Kyrule: Your process for closing the rifts. Would you be willing to give a demonstration? Apheori (GM): Is Greibel doing anything weird? Gaurav: Almost certainly. Bear Soup Guy: ^ Making faces. Gaurav: Ha! Bear Soup Guy: Stretching the skin out on the sides of his face with his hands. Pulling the porridge over his face like a beekeeper's mask Apheori (GM): Okay, this explains a thing or two. Radek: Of course. Radek is looking at Greibel too, since it seems like the topical thing to be doing at the moment. Radek: It is only recently tested, however. I cannot guarantee a consistent result after only a single trial. Kyrule: Of course. Even if it should fail, however, it should give me the data needed to run comprehensive tests. Apheori (GM): Meanwhile, behind a random tree at the edge of the forest, Dawn and Amadi are hiding. Yes? Radek glances at Kyrule curiously for a moment. Ellemerr: Yes. Ganelon: So this was the god you mentioned, huh? That might actually get along with him. Apheori (GM): Maybe. Who even knows. Unless you do. Radek: Do you know where I could find a rift to close, then? If opening one is unacceptable. Kyrule: I have just a one in mind. Apheori (GM): Midgets. Um... Ellemerr! Ellemerr: Yes? Apheori (GM): Squirrel drops out of of your tree, grinning. Amadi makes alternatively shooing and shushing motions. Squirrel takes Amadi's and Dawn's hands and tries to make them dance with her. Amadi tries to hit Squirrel over the head with a spatula with her other hand. Squirrel lets go and dances away, pulled Dawn out into the clearing. Squirrel: pulling* Amadi watches fretfully from behind the tree. Dawn tries to grab Amadi instead in order to not be pulled. Amadi hands Dawn the spatula. Dawn uses the spatula on Squirrel, and Squirrel finally just lets go and runs out on her own. Ganelon: Nice teamwork. Squirrel runs up to Kyrule and then just stares up at her, grinning. Amadi keeps watching apprehensively. Dawn does the same thing, poking her head around the tree over Amadi's. Kyrule sighs heavily. Ganelon: It's like staring into a mirror. Kyrule picks up Squirrel and walks over to the tree with Amadi and Dawn behind it. Ganelon: Except they're not scared of me! Apheori (GM): Gravy: Hole's dug, but you can't seem to get the dead god to move. It's really heavy or something. Amadi meeps and backs away around the tree. Frezak (GM): I peer around to see if anyone is looking at me. Ellemerr: I know Amadi's distracted. >.> All the midgets are. Frezak (GM): THen I'll try and grab hold of space. And scrunch up the bits between the god and the hole to get it there without moving it. I can do that, right? Right? Ellemerr: xD Apheori (GM): Uh... d20. Frezak (GM): rolling 1D20 ( 8 ) = 8 Apheori (GM): Apparently you can't. Frezak (GM): Gravy will sigh. The Gravedigger: um, 'scuse me. Help with this thing? Apheori (GM): While Amadi backs away, Dawn just stands there. The Gravedigger boots the godcorpse. Apheori (GM): Kyrule'll give you a hand in a moment. Unless you want to interrupt the midget harassment. Your marigolds have been found, and have been joined by another, bright red one. The Gravedigger: OH GOSH GOD MIDGETS WHERE DID THEY COME FROM Rhu walks over to Gravy to help with the god corpse. Frezak (GM): That's a point, Rhu IS godly. Gaurav: Godly how? All the gods ignore him. Ganelon: Does that mean the corpse just goes right through his hands? Kyrule follows Amadi around the tree. Gaurav: Hah! That would make sense. Apheori (GM): And then drops Squirrel in front of her. Amadi gives up on hiding and pretends she hasn't noticed Kyrule at all until now. Amadi: Oh, Kyrule! Hello; I didn't see you there. It's been much too long. I trust you've been well? Dawn: Oh, um, hello. Amadi still backs away, trying to make it inconspicuous, trying to get closer to Gravy. Whether he's able to help of not, he's at least very nice to have around. Kyrule just leaves you guys with Squirrel and goes back to Gravy. Apheori (GM): So much awkward. Amadi looks a little surprised. That went way better than she'd thought. Apheori (GM): Squirrel runs after her. Kyrule hands Gravy a scythe, picks up Squirrel again, and then just holds her up to her face, glaring. Dawn: (to Amadi) I guess it's all right, then? Frezak (GM): I'll... examine the scythe? Dawn: He did say he was sorry before. Frezak (GM): Waggle it around a bit. Amadi: He did? Apheori (GM): The scythe is large, black, a bit fancy, and feels very, very dangerous, like if you used it wrong it could probably cut through reality itself. Kyrule: Hook him with that; it'll move him. Gaurav: Is it the same sort of black as the dagger we picked up earlier? Apheori (GM): Similar. Sort of. Frezak (GM): I'll hook the corpse and drag it. Meathook! Apheori (GM): Guarave: And yes, this is the same scythe I was telling you about yesterday. >.> Hah. You drag the corpse to the grave. Dawn: He did. Amadi: Oh. Who? Dawn: Kyrule. Fred. Him. Dawn points. Gaurav: Good lord. Dawn: Her? Amadi: Oh! He did? When? Dawn: I think he did. You weren't there. Amadi: Oh... Huh. Where was I? Dawn: Dreaming. Amadi: Well, duh. Dawn: But not the first time. The first time you were dying. We all were. Amadi nods. Dawn: I'm remembering. Amadi shudders. Amadi: ... Much? ... All? Dawn nods, looking scared. Amadi looks scared too. Apheori (GM): Gravy buries the dead god. Then what? And yes, Rhu's hand did go right through it. Gaurav: Eeks. Rhu will pick up a stone to make sure it's the god that's insubstantial, not him. Apheori (GM): The stone bounces off it. Frezak (GM): You're a hairy ghost. Apheori (GM): Kyrule tells you that it's not you, but your faith. Rhu: My faith? Gaurav: Rhu the Hairy Ghost. I like the sound of that. Kyrule: Yes. Rhu: ... my lack of faith, you mean. Kyrule: You have faith, though it has been twisted and broken by the trials you have gone through. (holding up Squirrel) Tell me, do you want this one? Ganelon: "Want" might not be the most apt choice of word. Squirrel cackles and squirms. Rhu: That's a new one. We've only met her once before. Hazz'ridan said that they were keys, but I'm not sure he included that one. But I think he included the one that was the skull, but we lost that in midnight. Amadi: She's included. Amadi adds in a mutter, Amadi: Like it or not. Kyrule: He thought to use her pieces to patch the holes? That is low, even for him. Frezak (GM): Hells, right, Radek! Ask the nice lady about your toy. Apheori (GM): Actually scratch that she didn't say that. I TAKE IT BACK. Ellemerr: O_o Apheori (GM): Kyrule just gives Rhu a disgusted look. Ellemerr eats the words. Apheori (GM): Kyrule's words, I meant. Why would you eat them? Ellemerr: Yep. Apheori (GM): Oh, okay. WELL THEN. Thank you. Ellemerr: You're welcome! They taste a bit funny. Apheori (GM): Yeah, Kyrule's supposed to be playing nice with Hazz'ridan right now. Even if she does kind of really hate him. Ellemerr: Amadi could say it! If she knew it. Amadi has no problem with insulting Hazz. None whatsoever. Apheori (GM): Unfortunately she doesn't. And neither is Kyrule supposed to know, which is the problem, which is why she has to play nice, which... er. Ganelon: Er. Which toy is this? Apheori (GM): So nobody wants squirrel, right? Ganelon: The one that stalks? Frezak (GM): THe thing with the rock keys. That we fixed with scraps of foil. Ganelon: Oh, that. That's more a puzzle. Yeah, alright. Ellemerr: Amadi might want Squirrel, I guess. I'm not sure. Also I have to go sleep soon. I'll get a toothbrush. Not NOW, but soon. Soooooon. Apheori (GM): Kyrule tells squirrel to go back to her dream, and the midget poofs. Radek gives Squirrel a concerned look. Radek: Is she... necessary? Gaurav: Didn't she kick a ton of ass back when Amadi took her to meet the little old lady who wouldn't give her her lollipop? Kyrule: No. Ask the key if you need her. Apheori (GM): (The key seems to mean Amadi.) Radek: Good, good... The Gravedigger: This. Is one sweet grave. If I do say so myself. Radek digs the puzzle out of his bag of things. Ellemerr: And yeah, Gaurav, Squirrel can be awesome. But she can also be a lot of other things. Radek: Since you seem to be rather helpful for a god... would you have any insights into this device? I haven't taken much time to study it. I've been busy with other things. Ganelon: Like getting lost in the forest. Kyrule: I'm afraid I couldn't tell you much about it. According to history, its creation and destruction never happened, and for that alone it may be worth study. Gaurav: Huh. Radek: ...Fascinating. While functional, it lacks pieces. I cannot say how many. Kyrule: To find out, you may need to consider how to examine pieces of the universe that no longer exist in the universe. Radek: ...I'd rather not displace myself from the universe a second time. Kyrule: Indeed. Apheori (GM): You all ready to go to a hole? Ganelon: I'm ready. Although the Merr's ready to fall asleep, I think. Apheori (GM): Yups. Ellemerr: Yep. >.> Apheori (GM): This makes a good transition, methinks. The Gravedigger wanders up. The Gravedigger: Hey guys. I buried a god. What did YOU do today? Kyrule: (to Gravy) It is a good grave. The Gravedigger beams. Apheori (GM): Do you give her back the scythe? Frezak (GM): Of course. Apheori (GM): Okay. Frezak (GM): I DO want to memorise how it feels. Holding the power to slice through a reality. I may need that later. Apheori (GM): It feels a little bit like the shovel should. Frezak (GM): Hmmmmmm. Kyrule: The hole awaits. Are you all ready? Ellemerr: Right. Sweet nightmares. Kyrule: She motions everyone, including midgets, to come over and crap and... uh... Apheori (GM): ooc And next time you shall go hole. HOLE. With a god. Apheori (GM) sniggers. Gaurav: >.< I wonder what's going to possess Amadi _this_ time. Ganelon: Hole's a direction. Gaurav: True. Ganelon: See you later, folks. Bear Soup Guy: Adios, all Gaurav: Bye everybody!
