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Apheori (GM): Okay, now will this work?
Y'all can see this, yes?
Gaurav: Yes!
Apheori (GM): Right, so.
Y'all are in a tavern. It's afternoon or evening or something. You have someone to meet tomorrow, but for now you're just... what, waiting? Getting drunk? Daring Greibel to smoke random things, or better yet, trying to get Gravy to do it?
Amadi and Greibel were dancing.
Apparently.
And Rhu... you're still in a horrible nightmare world.
Gaurav: Yay!
Wait.
Were they dancing with each other? Is everybody still outside?
Ganelon: Radek is having no part in your dancing.
Nor getting drunk. It's pretty boring, but he's probably just pondering and tinkering with his 'bots.
Apheori (GM): Radek was pondering, but I think he's all pondered out for the day.
BOTS.
Ganelon: Unless someone wants a thing made magical.
He can do that.
Gaurav: Anybody in the inn chatting about this whole zombies-destroying-everything thing? Or even just the destruction of their guardhouse by a bunch of out-of-town people?
Ganelon: Well, we might be out-of-town, but everyone in charge mistook me for some sort of CSI.
And not wanting to deny myself the privilege of being able to boss them around, I just played along.
Apheori (GM): Well, more folks are probably starting to come into the inn around now.
Because I'm just arbitrarily declaring it evening.
Radek: This place had better not have karaoke nights...
Apheori (GM): So yeah, some noticed the... whatever visible signs there are. And the lack of guards.
Mostly the lack of guards. A lot of bad jokes about that.
Ganelon: He won't bother to explain things to them because:
1. It would take considerable effort to make them understand.
2. They would not likely be able to contribute to the problem's resolution.
3. Starting a panic would be bad, I guess.
Apheori (GM): Speaking of panic...
Rhu: d20
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
15
)
=
15
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Um.
What does everyone do?
Rhu takes his mask off to check if he can still hear the creepy voices without it on
Apheori (GM): Still hear. Can't see anything, though.
Roll perception.
Ganelon: Rhu's still doing stuff of importance, right now I'm browsing magic items.
Is Frezak even seeing any of this?
Apheori (GM): Going mad is importat.
Frezak is probably dead.
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception check
(
4
)
+14
=
18
Apheori (GM): Amadi will thus dress up his character as Old Gregg, complete with extra lipstick.
Gaurav: o.0
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Things feel relatively normal. When you don't look at them. What 'normal' actually is you don't know.
Gaurav: How do you mean, "feel"?
Ganelon: Oh. Of course!
Apheori (GM): With hands. Air? Smell. A general... uh... you have no idea. It just feels.
FEEEELS.
Ganelon: Radek spends an hour to make...
HEDGE WIZARD'S GLOVES.
Bear Soup Guy: This is no time for gardening!
Frezak (GM): I arrive to see that Gan is doing the right thing.
Carry on, Gan.
Ganelon: I can make a second pair if you want.
I have enough dust for two.
Gaurav: I guess I meant: do the walls feel like normal walls, or do they still feel hairy and membranous, except now Rhu feels that this is "normal" somehow?
Frezak (GM): I don't think Gravy would be any good with 'em
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You've been dressed up as Old Gregg, unless you object.
Do you object? Forcefully?
Frezak (GM): I do object.
Apheori (GM): Okay. Then Amadi is dressed up as Old Gregg and leering at you.
Frezak (GM): I have no idea what that is.
Ganelon: So this costs 840 whatevers of dust.
Gaurav: So: they're both dressed up as Old Gregg now?
Apheori (GM): Just Amadi.
Frezak (GM): 840 Squots.
Slightly less than a.. KiloSquot.
Ganelon: The gloves allow their wearer to use two wizard cantrips - one makes hands that can carry small objects and manipulate things, the other is Prestidigitation and does everything.
Apheori (GM): Piles. It's the standard fantastical parlance. Piles of dust.
Ganelon: Except, if you real the rules as written, anything that can be done by anything else.
Apheori (GM): Anything else can do anything.
If anything is everything in this context. Alternatively.
Ganelon: Yeah, so you should probably interpret the rules more favorably.
Frezak (GM): Well, anything that can be done by 'powers'
Gaurav: Gan: woo! That sounds pretty awesome and useful.
Frezak (GM): And there are many things not covered by powers.
Apheori (GM): If there isn't a designated power for something, you'll be rolling a sanity check to see if it actually works. How does that sound?
So you can try anything at all...
But it may explode!
Frezak (GM): CAN YOUR GLOVES DIG HOLES?
Rhu takes out any scrap of cloth he can -- or uses a sleeve of whatever he's wearing if he's got nothing -- and tries to wipe the eye gently.
Ganelon: It can:
- Change colours of, clean, soil, chill, warm, or flavour 1 ft cubed of matter...
Frezak (GM): Much hinges on this.
Apheori (GM): Does Rhu have the mask on?
Ganelon: - Create a small image or item that vanishes a few seconds later
- Make a small handheld item invisible for a likewise brief period.
Gaurav: Oh yes sorry.
Ganelon: - Light or extinguish... light sources. Campfires are mentioned.
Rhu puts the mask back on before rubbing the eye &c.
Ganelon: And create harmless sensory effects.
Basically, they are the best gloves for fucking around you will ever wear.
Gaurav: "Flavour 1 ft cubed of matter" ... hmm.
Ganelon: Yep, I can make stone taste delicious to you.
Gaurav: We could turn the Hole into a lollipop and get Amadi to eat it.
Apheori (GM): DO IT.
Ganelon: I don't think that counts as matter.
So once he's done making them, obviously he has to test them out.
Apheori (GM): Do Greibel or Gravy do anything?
Frezak (GM): I don't think Gravy has anything to do.
Apheori (GM): There's other people around now. Amadi got you all baileys.
Though you're not sure HOW exactly.
Ganelon: What is a bailey?
Apheori (GM): Creamy whiskey. With, like, actual cream in it.
Frezak (GM): It's a... cream liqueur.
Gaurav: Baileys Irish Creme
Radek stares into the Bailey balefully. He doesn't /drink/. Literally.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will drink it for two reasons.
Because then Radek doesn't seem impolite for not drinking.
And because Gravy has inhuman constitution.
Radek: Hey, do you want that to taste like something else?
Literally anything.
The Gravedigger: Like?
The Gravedigger hmms.
Radek: The limit is... well, I suppose /my/ imagination.
The Gravedigger: Lemonade.
Chicken lemonade.
Gaurav: o.0
The Gravedigger: Chickenade?
Gaurav: 0.0
The Gravedigger: Your imagination?
SO... wires and chrome?
That does not sound tasty.
Radek touches the glass with his gloves, and the Bailey takes on the flavour of his closest approximation to Chickenade.
Radek: ...Just try it. Let me know if I remember the sensation of taste correctly.
Amadi sits on the bar and giggles.
Gaurav: I suppose that's better than sitting in the bar and giggling.
Frezak (GM): WHAT IS IT LIKE
Ganelon: Amusingly, I don't see anything about Prestidigitation effects getting dismissed.
Frezak (GM): What, actively switched off?
Ganelon: You can have three active at a time, but the power makes no overt mention of deactivating one intentionally.
Frezak (GM): Hah.
Ganelon: So if you don't like your drink, you can request a different flavour... but not the original one unless Radek can duplicate that.
Apheori (GM): Radek: Roll something to get the chickenade right.
Radek:
rolling 1d20 Something
(
16
)
=
16
Apheori (GM): What do you think, would history be appropriate?
Ganelon: If it's history, that's a 23.
Gaurav: I'd say "Bartending", so ... Nature?
Ganelon: 20 if it's Nature or any other wisdom-based skill he's not trained in.
Apheori (GM): Let's just go with history because it's all ancient history to Radek.
Gravy!
The chickenade baileys tastes a bit like cream of lemon chicken soup. It is rather chickeny, and a bit fried-like.
The Gravedigger: Wow!
Bear Soup Guy shudders
Gaurav: Oh yum.
Would it still taste like Baileys at all? I don't imagine those tastes would go well together at all.
Ganelon: That's up to the DM.
Apheori (GM): Naw.
Just the texture.
Ganelon: In a less silly game, one of ours ruled that it only adds flavour rather than replacing.
Gaurav: Huh. Interesting.
Ganelon: Because we could very easily make poisons delicious, for instance. Or eat awful food and love it.
Apheori (GM): What's wrong with that?
Ganelon: Well, my character was carrying three doses of extremely lethal poison AT THE TIME.
Apheori (GM): If you have a good understanding of chemistry and the right chemicals on hand, you can do that anyway.
Just look at processed foods.
Ganelon: You mean like the stuff that people try to convince you is cheese despite not being legally able to use the word "cheese"?
Apheori (GM): For instance.
Ganelon: So you get names like "Processed Dairy Slices"?
Apheori (GM): Or even just stuff like 'fruit-flavoured' anything.
Or breakfast cereal.
Apheori (GM) shudders.
Ganelon: I'll try not to abuse this- okay no, I'm not fooling anyone.
You guys will be sucking on candy flavoured rocks within a day.
Frezak (GM): Uh-huh.
Gaurav: Rocks?
Apheori (GM): If you try something like that, they should do opposing perception checks or something.
Also this doesn't change the texture, so they won't be able to chew the rocks.
Gaurav: As long as you don't make us eat week-old sentient porridge, I'm not going to complain too much.
Apheori (GM): You could probabyl do a separate one to change the texture too, but...
Ganelon: Well.
I could make gum last forever.
Apheori (GM): I don't imagine you'll get much past Gravy's perception if you try anything obtuse.
Frezak (GM): Well, no, it would lose elasticity eventually.
Ganelon: You've got me there.
Gaurav: To be fair, as a group, we basically eat whatever Amadi hands us
so I'm not sure why we'd be more skeptical of Radek, especially since (1) he's the smart one, and (2) he could spin some "oh look strupenwaffles! These are delicious and have exactly the same texture as rocks" nonsense with a perfectly straight face.
Anyway, I'm still waiting to see what rubbing the eye with some cloth did.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: What eye are you rubbing?
Frezak (GM): Radek doesn't have the empathy to fuck with people.
Ganelon: Radek will sit content with the fact that that his memory of food is apparently still good enough.
This is what he's imagining, however:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfPuQKTXaPA
For Frezak's web-impaired sake, it's the wizard rocking out. You've likely seen it before.
Gaurav: The forbidden arts of ... flavour changing?
Frezak (GM): Thank you, Gan.
Ganelon: He can produce small items too, Gaurav.
Although the bloody rules say you can't use them to "serve as a tool".
Which is again, such a vague and harsh restriction that I kinda hate 'em.
Gaurav: I vote we play without that restriction.
Apheori (GM): Does that mean mechanical tool?
Psychological tool?
Metaphorical tool?
Gaurav: Apheori: the eye I revealed by clawing at the wall. You described it as enormous and red like a toad's.
Apheori (GM): Oh. So you rub it with cloth?
Are you sure you want to rub a hairy eyeball with cloth?
Gaurav: Very gently. I'm trying to get its attention, and to see what sort of texture it has. Apart from hairy.
Oh, aaaand
if nothing happens, I'll try it again without the mask, to see how "normal" it feels.
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu really thinks pretty logically for a guy who keeps getting helplessly into trouble and worships an insane and malevolent God
Ganelon: You've gotta hold onto something in this crazy world.
Gaurav: Science is all I gots
Ganelon: Sci-five, Gaurav.
Apheori (GM): Well, it doesn't feel hairy at all. It feels wet and smooth and the cloth sticks to it and the pupil contracts and it tries to shrink away and then the entire place rumbles.
Ganelon: That all sounds rather bad.
Gaurav: Eh.
Like, side-to-side rumble or floor-giving-way/changing-topology rumble?
Apheori (GM): EVERYTHING RUMBLING.
Rhu supports himself again the membranous hairy walls
Rhu: Woah, hairy place ... woah ...
Apheori (GM): Something sticky and viscous drips on your head.
Rhu ignores it for now and continues trying to steady himself
Apheori (GM): Perception, please.
Frezak (GM): YOU SEE DOOM
Gaurav: Oh no, not doom! Anything but doom! Or Amadi dressed up as Old Gregg!
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception check
(
16
)
+14
=
30
Gaurav: yay, I see things!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You also notice the voices behind the rumbling, getting louder and frantic and saying... well, you don't know what.
Were they saying anything before? I don't remember.
Gaurav: <<"Rhu hears whispers. Some are saying his name. Others... other things. It sounds like they've found something. Lost other things. Having lunch. Very sinister.
Left-handed."
>>
Apheori (GM): Ah, okay.
Gaurav: Left-handed hairy voices they were.
<<"Oh, details about the voice itself, eh? It's low and sweet, like a fungus that eats flies. That's what it reminds you of. Except these flies are horrible and huge, and the fungus is actually something else entirely.>>
Apheori (GM): Then the rumbling stops. The place is still. The walls ooze. More viscous stuff falls on your shoulder.
Rhu looks for an opening, glancing occasionally at the tunnel that he tried to climb through earlier to make sure it was still open.
Apheori (GM): The voices are still raised and worried and argumentative.
Perception!
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception
(
17
)
+14
=
31
Rhu gingerly pokes at the ooze on the wall -- I guess this is already on the hand he was using to steady himself
Apheori (GM): The ooze is dark and sticky and looks like it's covered in hair.
Rhu: Huh.
Gaurav: It's treacle, isn't it.
I'm stuck in a treacle well.
Apheori (GM): There does seem to be a crack in the other wall, though. A whole lot of ooze came our of that.
Gaurav: HA
HAAAAAAA
Rhu heads for the crack of ooze
Gaurav: It was great playing with you guys, and I hope whatever character I role next is less liable to fall into the digestive systems of basements.
Ganelon: That is a rather naive hope.
Gaurav: Fair enough.
Apheori (GM): What does Rhu do?
Rhu tries to enlarge the crack with his hands and look through
Apheori (GM): It looks like a passage has opened, though you don't know where to.
And you should be able to fit in.
Rhu steps through the crack
Apheori (GM): It's dark and sticky and furry.
You have to crawl to make progress.
Gaurav: Eeeeee
Rhu crawls
Apheori (GM): Great.
Rhu does that for awhile.
Unless he stops.
In which case he sits there.
Rhu stops occasionally to catch his breath, but otherwise keeps going.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Back to everyone else.
Gaurav: Is it warm in this tunnel?
Apheori (GM): It's both warm and cold.
Apheori (GM) waves a fish.
Ganelon: What's Greibel been up to?
Gaurav: Is he still dancing?
Bear Soup Guy: He's trying to perform a magic trick for a disinterested but polite bar patron
Gaurav: And what happened to that awful musician that someone (Gravy?) threw into a grave?
Bear Soup Guy: Amadi and Greibel scared him
Apheori (GM): The bar person is unhappy and yet wearing a very funny hat.
The musician is still in the grave. Occasionally you can hear his screeches.
Frezak (GM): Why are we still IN the bar?
Apheori (GM): Because you haven't left. Do you want to leave?
Greibel makes several flourishing motions before removing the patron's hat, setting it on the table, hitting it with a hammer, picking it back up, reaching inside, and pulling out the destroyed remains of three eggs
Ganelon: Got nowhere else to be, really.
Apheori (GM): It's also an inn, so they should have rooms.
Gaurav: Describe funny hat
Frezak (GM): What does Radek need to further work on the Holes Problem?
Apheori (GM): The patron looks at Greibel disgruntedly, takes the hat back, shakes it out, then realises it's got egg stuck to the inside.
Ganelon: Mostly a Hole and room for experimentation.
We'll get both tomorrow.
Greibel grins sheepishly
Frezak (GM): In that case...
Gravy will wander around the outskirts of town for zombies and herbs
Ganelon: I think... yes, tonight, he is going to explore the possibility of making his bomb an un-bomb.
Apheori (GM): The patron wipes it on his trousers and puts it back on.
Ganelon: That isn't to say it's an antimatter explosive (it could be already).
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You wander. It's getting darker and cooler and horrible bugs come out. You find some hallucinogens.
You hear some howling.
What's an unbomb to Radek?
Ganelon: In this case?
Something that can close holes and mend craters rather than create them.
Apheori (GM): How would it work?
Ganelon: He wants to see if it can create stuff rather than simply energy. Whatever stuff the environment lacks.
Apheori (GM): What operating principles is he exploring.
\
?
Gaurav: Where does the stuff come from? It is a direct energy->mass conversion or does it just suck it in from the surroundings?
Ganelon: The former.
Latter's no good, that's just a vaccuum.
Gaurav: It might still act as a clot of sorts.
Ganelon: Of course, a bomb that converts explosive energy into mass is fascinating enough on its own.
But in particular, we're talking about creating whatever is lacking that causes holes to appear.
Stuff on the most fundamental level. Reality.
Gaurav: Hmm, interesting. Somehow I imagined the holes more like ... necrosis. Like skin just tearing apart and then there's a gap. So I've been thinking about closing them in clotting/stitching metaphors.
Apheori (GM): Hmm.
Ganelon: That could be accurate. Of course, we're debating the metaphysical properties of a fictional world that may have never made sense to begin with.
Apheori (GM): So energy-based matter synthesis according to what should be in a space but isn't?
Eeeeegh, that's complicated.
Ganelon: The latter would most assuredly be reliant on magic.
Apheori (GM): Oh, it's all magic. And none.
But okay.
Ganelon: Oh, you know what I mean.
Energy to matter is theoretically possible to achieve through our understanding of modern science.
"What used to be here"... is more complicated.
Apheori (GM): Well, it should be doable, though Radek isn't going to be sure of all the component pieces at this point.
Ganelon: It's a thought exercise for him even if it's completely impossible.
Apheori (GM): But that's just it - it's not completely impossible.
It actually might be doable.
Ganelon: That just makes it even better.
Apheori (GM): Doable like the miniature Old Gregg sitting on the bar.
...it's singing.
About pickles.
Then it giggles and falls over backwards behind the bar.
Greibel probably hears the barkeep mutter something about how maybe they need a new bar.
Ganelon: But then we'd just loiter there instead.
What they really need is an exterminator.
To rid the place of godlings, adventurers, and other stubborn pests.
Apheori (GM): Well, that's the problem.
Gaurav: That'd be a fun D&D game: you play a guild of adventurer exterminators, constantly getting in the middle of other adventures and putting an end to all that nonsense.
Apheori (GM): Two people just disappeared through it.
XD
Ganelon: ...Gaurav, you're a genius.
I've /already/ got a workable character concept for such a game.
I'd play the healer.
The one role that nobody wants to play but every adventuring party wants.
Apheori (GM): I like playing healers.
Frezak (GM): COULD I BE TWIP
Apheori (GM): You can just ignore all the enemies. It's great.
Ganelon: Pffft.
Apheori, you have no idea what you're missing.
Sure, it can be nice to ignore the enemies.
Gaurav: They don't ignore you, though, is the thing. They know that once you're down the rest of the party can be safely killed.
Apheori (GM): I've played non-healers.
I'm just lazy.
Ganelon: But I have a character who does even better.
She makes the enemies useless and then ignores them.
Apheori (GM): And that is why I stay away from the party.
Gaurav: Gan: nice.
Apheori (GM): Seriously, that actually worked in pvp in gw - I'd just hide behind a rock and heal everyone. XD
You'd think other players would think of that.
Ganelon: D&D 4E has an astounding capacity for players being just... incredibly rude to the enemies they're fighting.
Apheori (GM): What, enemies can't be rude back?
Ganelon: They can.
Apheori (GM): Good.
Ganelon: Shadow Wolves are incredibly rude.
If you attack them in melee, they attack you first, blind you, and then jump out of range before you're allowed to hit. And if you're no longer in range, you don't get to hit.
Frezak (GM): Right, but in 4E a foe can't just shut down the party with one spell.
Ganelon: True.
Apheori (GM): Pfft.
Ganelon: They don't get Sleep.
Gaurav: Shadow wolves sound like fun.
Not as fun as Rhu about to get chased down a tunnel by Old Gregg, but ...
Ganelon: Oh gods, you're right.
Old Gregg is coming for him.
Apheori (GM): So... what now?
Rhu continues crawling through the tunnel
Ganelon: I assume that most everyone's going to sleep.
Except for Rhu.
He may never sleep again.
Gaurav: Oh right, I forgot that. Thanks for the reminder.
Didn't Gravy hear some howling?
Ganelon: Also Radek, but we've established what he's been up to overnight.
Gaurav: Was it just some chickens or something?
Ganelon: ...Yes, that's right.
Gaurav: Also it'd be cool if Greibel could commune with the local fauna and see if they've heard anything about the holes or zombies or squirrels
Frezak (GM): Howling chickens?
Bear Soup Guy: Are there animals in the bar?
Apheori (GM): Roll nature to see if the howling was chickens.
Not besides your party.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
13
)
+10
=
23
Apheori (GM): I mean...
Frezak (GM): Nature!
Apheori (GM): Actually the animals already left.
Frezak (GM): Also very slow rolls.
Apheori (GM): The thing takes a long time to roll?
Frezak (GM): I'll try again >.>
rolling 1D20+10
(
3
)
+10
=
13
It's the new Quantum Rolls.
Ganelon: His internet connection is being throttled.
Frezak (GM): They don't like my web speed.
Apheori (GM): >.<
Frezak (GM): Strangulated in a non-sexual manner!
Ganelon: I'll bet /gnolls/ are responsible.
Apheori (GM): I dunno, it may give them sexual gratification.
Frezak (GM): Fukken Gnolls!
Ganelon: Here, what's your bonus?
Frezak (GM): There we go.
Ganelon: Oh, there it is.
Frezak (GM): First one is the one that counts!
Apheori (GM): You don't think it's a chicken.
It sounds more like a moose.
Frezak (GM): So when WAS that?
Apheori (GM): What?
Frezak (GM): That I heard this beast.
Apheori (GM): Just now, I guess. You found a hallucinogenic plant and then heard a howl.
Frezak (GM): Do moose usually howl?
Apheori (GM): You don't think so.
Frezak (GM): I will carefully collect the plant and bring it to Greibel.
Whereupon I will wordless thrust it at him and go bother Radek.
Ganelon: Not that you need one, but is there a purpose to this bebotheration?
Apheori (GM): Gravy's the Warrior, Greibel is the Fool, Amadi is the Whore, Rhu is the Virgin, and Radek is the Scholar.
It all fits.
Frezak (GM): Yes.
Gravy is sure that Radek needs good old bothering to keep him grounded.
Gaurav: Hey!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+13 nature to inspect the hallucinogenic plant
(
10
)
+13
=
23
Apheori (GM): Unless Rhu is the Whore? Those two were a little fuzzy.
Ganelon: "Hey, Radek!"
"What!? I was just contemplating a process that could result in the destruction of all matter in the universe!"
"...You're welcome!"
Gaurav: Hee.
Rhu is definitely the Whore, if for no reason than that he's likely the first person killed.
Apheori (GM): Amadi seems more likely to pull a Katia than Rhu does.
Gaurav: And Amadi is the most likely to be alive at the end.
Apheori (GM): Pfft, fine.
Gaurav: Well, "alive"
Apheori (GM): Technically she's already dead.
Gaurav: Yes
And will probably be again
Such are the ways of godfragments
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The plant is indeed hallucinogenic, and also likely to be very, very stinky if smoked.
VERY stinking.
stinky
Frezak (GM): Actually.
I want to roll Arcana.
To say soemthing smart.
Apheori (GM): Do iiiit.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+3
(
18
)
+3
=
21
Oh man.
The Gravedigger: Have you considered that you're overlookign the resonant disharmony between planar frequencies?
Oooh, look at the shine on that shovel.
Radek does a double-take.
Radek: .../What/ did you just say?
Gaurav: Hahahahahaha
The Gravedigger: It's this polish.
Got it before this thing started, made from authentic materials!
Radek: No, no, before that.
Frezak (GM): Gan, I went into the Taint Zone to roll that.
Apheori (GM): I just read that in the voice of one of those tall but stupid aliens in Invader Zim.
Ganelon: Does that mean that Freya's heal checks are drawn from the Far Realm?
The Gravedigger: Oh, that.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
The Gravedigger: Well, I was wondering wether the Holes were a result of dissonance between planes, and were more like mass molecular gaps than actual holes.
I should drag that bard out.
Before he's eaten by moose.
Frezak (GM): I'll plod out and go drag the Bard out of the grave.
Ganelon: Let's see if I can roll an Arcana bad enough to be under that result.
Frezak (GM): I don't think you access to the Taint Zone, Gan.
Apheori (GM): The bard howls at you and then tries to hump your leg.
Radek:
rolling 1d20+12
(
20
)
+12
=
32
Ganelon: Damn.
You were saying?
Frezak (GM): Fuck you.
Fuck you and fuck your maker, Silicone Man.
Apheori (GM): Radek has an epiphany.
Something about the nature of holes, based on what Gravy was saying.
Radek stands up and ends up catching his beard on something.
Radek: That's- agh! THAT'S IT!
Frezak (GM): Leaving pieces of his POWER behind.
As in beard.
Radek: Gravedigger, you're promoted!
Apheori (GM): He was completely wrong about the dissonance, of course, but the thing is, they are gaps. And in gaps, there has to be something, even if it is nothing.
And magic invariably interacts with these things.
And THAT is what the problem with the magic was. It's not the doing spells badly that opens the holes. It's that there's something genuinely wrong with the magic itself here. Something eating at it. So far you only run into it when you bork a spell in a particular way, but it will only get worse in time. On a geological scale, that is. Perhaps astronomical. But eventually, all magic may do it. Any at all.
Whatever that something is, you need to find it.
And have Greibel smoke it.
Gaurav: 0.0
Bear Soup Guy: Naturally
Ganelon: Is that /really/ the conclusion Radek reaches?
Just to be absolutely certain.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel has started smoking the weird stinky plant, by the way
Apheori (GM): Well, the having Greibel smoke it bit pops into his mind, but he may immediately disregard it as nonsense.
They rest of it, though, yes.
Ganelon: Shit, now I have to do something nice for the big guy.
Apheori (GM): The tavern is getting really stinky. People are making horrible faces and groaning in disgust.
Greibel continues puffing away, oblivious to the discomfort around him
Greibel blows smoke rings
Apheori (GM): Some of them are leaving.
Gaurav: Make it taste like lollipops, get Amadi to eat it, then Greibel smokes Amadi. The circle of dope.
The smoke rings eat through the walls.
Apheori (GM): The innkeep politely asks Greibel to leave.
Ganelon: Quickly, Frezak!
Name a magic item!
Frezak (GM): THE IMMOVABLE ROD
Ganelon: L5 or under, for both price and ritual restrictions.
Frezak (GM): Oh.
Greibel frowns slightly
Greibel walks out to smoke in the alley
Ganelon: You could have a Floating Lantern.
Apheori (GM): The inn still stinks after Greibel leaves.
Ganelon: That's pretty grave-diggy.
Apheori (GM): It appears everyone remaining has a crappy sense of smell or is too drunk to care, though.
Greibel: You run into the people who already left outside.
Radek deactivates his nose.
Ganelon: Problem solved.
Frezak (GM): Wavestrider boots?
Gaurav: Hee
Frezak (GM): Heee.
Amulet of Seduction.
Heee.
Apheori (GM): Most of the people quickly move away and then meander home.
The others just sort of move away.
They all look like bubbles.
Ganelon: Quite possibly my favourite low-level magic item is the Flagon of Ale Procurement.
Gaurav: ... bubbles?
Apheori (GM): Bubbles!
Everyone looks like bubbles to Greibel.
Ganelon: "Property: You know the direction and distance to the nearest alcoholic beverage."
Apheori (GM): Useful.
Maybe.
Greibel laughs
Ganelon: If you want 'em.
...
If you want it.
Gaurav: Can you use that to figure out how drunk someone is?
Ganelon: If their blood alcohol level is high enough? I don't see why not!
You /may/ need to consider drinking their blood to benefit from that, though.
Frezak (GM): I'll go with boots because then I will run across any liquid we ever find, for ever.
Ganelon: So be it!
Frezak (GM): Sweet!
Apheori (GM): Mmm, blood.
Ganelon: Radek takes an hour off to make Gravy a pair of awesome boots.
Frezak (GM): Combat-wise, Pouncing Armour.
But, eh.
You have tailoring?
Ganelon: Hell no, he robs some drunk of his fucking boots and uses magic to reshape and resize them.
Frezak (GM): Acceptable!
Ganelon: The latter is specifically a thing that the Enchant ritual can do.
"There is no component cost for this use."
Apheori (GM): So THAT's why Radek has thievery skills...
Frezak (GM): No, he's got that for alchemy.
Ganelon: It's also the skill you use for manual dexterity, yeah.
Apheori (GM): But also for actually robbing people.
Ganelon: You need training in it to make bombs.
And yes, to rob people of their mundane clothing.
Frezak (GM): Look, if you really needed boots I'm sure there's another way.
Apheori (GM): Why, does anyone in the party actually have morals?
Ganelon: Not this late at night, my friend.
Frezak (GM): I'm saying rolling a different D20 to get 'em.
Ganelon: Oh.
Yeah, probably.
Mage Hand is probably great for bootnapping.
But I guess... what, would Nature be the skill to craft them?
...Nah, probably a Martial Practice.
Gaurav: Rhu has morals!
Frezak (GM): yeah, it's a martial practice.
You're being digested by a cellar!
Gaurav: They're very annoying.
Frezak (GM): Your morals don't count!
Ganelon: Would Rhu honestly object to Radek stealing a drunkard's boots?
Gaurav: He'd look the other way.
Frezak (GM): We could bribe you in smiles.
Gaurav: If forced to, he'd probably explain them as definitely part of some complicated scheme to save the world that Radek just hasn't gotten around to explaining to us yet.
Frezak (GM): Or whatever radek can make that's closest to a smile.
Ganelon: It's a good thing Radek keeps himself too busy for /petty/ revenge or I'd be really worried about such implicit trust of his goals.
Gaurav: Probably a bomb with a curve painted on it.
Ganelon: Anyway, given the time of day, he probably keeps the boots until the next morning.
Gaurav: So does everybody go to bed? Or are there more adventures to be had?
Ganelon: Everyone but Rhu.
Apheori (GM): What did Gravy actually do with the bard?
Frezak (GM): I just hauled him out.
Gaurav: BTW I have a meeting at 3pm, so I should leave by 2:30pm or so. Which gives me another 1.5 hours.
Apheori (GM): And then what?
Left him there and went back in?
Frezak (GM): Yep.
Apheori (GM): Gravy comes back into the stench, followed by a guy singing about what he sees, and, subsequently, smells.
Ganelon: Truly this is the worst bard.
Gaurav: ...
Apheori (GM): A random patron helpfully gets up, clubs the bard over the head with some sort of mallet, and then goes back to whatever he was doing.
Frezak (GM): I sigh.
And drag the bard back into the grave.
Ganelon: It was nice of you to have tried.
Shall we progress to the next day, or does Rhu have unresolved business in his little nightmare realm?
Gaurav: Does Rhu know that he can't/mustn't fall asleep?
Frezak (GM): Remember, Rave.
When the world gives you dark.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Nope.
Gaurav: I mean, he isn't sleepy yet (I assume it's around midnight) but he will be eventually.
Frezak (GM): Make Ice-cream.
Gaurav: And this furry tunnel is so warm and cold and inviting.
Apheori (GM): I had ice cream for lunch.
Ganelon: I wish we had ice cream right now.
Gaurav: This is terrible party for ice cream cravings.
Apheori (GM): Okay, y'all sleep or whatever you're doing.
Radek keeps puttering, Rhu keeps crawling, Gravy and Greibel might get a room.
Although I expect Greibel will actually just keep stoning out outside.
And we can totally call that rest.
Frezak (GM): I thought we were squatting in the barracks.
Bear Soup Guy: He'll probably fall asleep in the alley
Ganelon: Well, we're meeting that guy in the bar rather than the barracks.
Frezak (GM): I'd probably drag Greibel to somewhere inside, regardless of where we sleep.
Ganelon: I regrettably forgot his name. Started with an E, I think?
Frezak (GM): EVARD?
Gaurav: George
George = miniRadek
Ganelon: Ah. Thank you, Gaurav.
No, if it was Evard we'd be dealing with a different sort of hole.
Apheori (GM): So Gravy goes and crashes in the barracks?
Ganelon: Shadowholes.
Frezak (GM): yup
tentacleholes
Ganelon: HoS talks about one of that guy's ambitions being to harness Shadow as a raw power source - as in, without any sort of framework for it to attach to.
But he failed and had to resort to Arcane means to do anything with it.
Rhu eventually gets tired and considers taking a nap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Do you try to take a nap in the tunnel full of strange whisperings and hairy darkness?
Rhu: Is there any change in the tunnel as I go?
Gaurav: sorry ooc
Apheori (GM): It gets tighter.
Gaurav: Hmm okay
Then maybe not
He'll keep going and see if he can make it to the end
Apheori (GM): That goes on for awhile.
You lose track of time.
Gaurav: You're assuming Rhu had track of time to begin with, but yes.
Does it appear to slope in any direction?
Do the voices change?
Apheori (GM): It varies.
And they're no longer sounding upset.
Gaurav: Oh that's good.
I think Rhu keeps going until he gets tired.
Given that his base constitution is +1, that's probably not all night
Apheori (GM): He gets tired at some point.
Gaurav: But he'll get hungry before he gets tired
so he'll keep going
Apheori (GM): What does he do?
He's not hungry, oddly.
Gaurav: in the hope that food is -- oh
hmm
he'll stop for a while
lie on the side of the tunnel
listen to the voices
rolling d20+14 perception check on voices
(
14
)
+14
=
28
Apheori (GM): The voices whisper weird things in his mind.
And he actually realises he's not actually hearing them with his ears.
Gaurav: ...
he's hearing things with his feet again
It's all that earwax
Frezak (GM): Footwax.
Apheori (GM): Clearly.
Frezak (GM): At least it's not earcheese.
Apheori (GM): I need to go canooing.
Gaurav: Now?
Apheori (GM): Soon.
Gaurav: The article I just looked up has a photograph of a kayak on it.
It must be fate. Or feet. One or the other.
Ganelon: If you were in a position to Canoe right now, I'd be impressed.
Apheori (GM): They're very similar.
Gaurav: so where is Rhu hearing these weird voices?
Apheori (GM): In his mind.
Gaurav: Ah okay.
Apheori (GM): They've been in his mind all along.
Gaurav: The usual, then.
Apheori (GM): Like how the hairy sight has only been in his mind as well.
HAIRY.
Gaurav: How do you tell that something is "in your mind"?
Apheori (GM): By rolling good perception.
Or arcana.
Or putting other clues together.
Gaurav: yeah, but ... what would that feel like? especially when Rhu has no other context on what is going on aurally around him.
Apheori (GM): ...normal, except where it isn't.
Apheori (GM) has helpful explanations, really.
Rhu tries to voice his own thoughts in his head and see how it compares with the other voices.
Apheori (GM): The thought-voice is similar, but a lot less distinct.
Not that the others are individually distinct, but there are a lot of them.
Or something.
Rhu: Hmm. Strange.
Rhu takes a deep breath, and continues crawling.
Gaurav: I'm going to say that Rhu doesn't stop for sleep. He doesn't like how tiny and suffocating the tunnel is, and would rather rest once he's sure that there's a way out.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): If only... YOU COULD DIG
Ganelon: Impossible!
The art of digging has been lost to the ages.
Apheori (GM): So Rhu crawls. Gravy goes to the guardhouse. Radek tinkers in the tavern because nobody kicks him out. Greibel passes out in an alley. Amadi is missing.
Frezak (GM): Lost!
Gaurav: If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs
Apheori (GM): Way to not split the party.
I need to go find a canoe.
Next week?
Frezak (GM): No, I grabbed Greibel.
Put him wherever I was staying.
Ganelon: "NEXT TIME ON LOST"
Apheori (GM): Oh, okay.
Ganelon: This plot is about as convoluted as Lost's.
Frezak (GM): THere's a plot?
Gaurav: This is a safe, little town with howling moose, terrible bards, and a basement with a digestive tract. Oh, and all the guards have been killed by zombies. What could possibly go wrong?
Frezak (GM): All guards....
Apheori (GM): Lost has a plot?
Frezak (GM): Except ONE.
TO ARMS
SLAY THE GHOUL
Ganelon: We just need someone to grow a really nasty beard - Radek's disqualified for already having one - and scream about needing to "go back" to Sarathi.
Apheori (GM): I designate Rhu.
Frezak (GM): Gravy would steal the bits of beard that got stuck to the table.
Apheori (GM): After the digetive basement breaks him.
NEXT WEEK?
Ganelon: Next week.
Well, I'll be around. I am a constant.
Gaurav: Next weekend might be dodgy for me, but since I have a reputation for sleeping in anyway, I should be able to play in the morning at least.
And possibly as late as today.
Not Rhu.
Sadly.
He already had a chance to go home and opted not to take it.
He's not going to flip-flop on that.
Apheori (GM): He wasn't insane and bearded yet.
Gaurav: We could end up on a planet without hallucinogens and then Greibel could go nuts.
And violent.
Apheori (GM): After he's in the basement for a few years, he may change his mind.
Gaurav: ...
this is possible, yes.
Apheori (GM): Let me know if next sunday doesn't work for anyone. My schedule is like gan's.
Frezak (GM): As far as I know I'm not doing anything interesting.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm most likely free
Gaurav: Next week then!
Ganelon: I'll see you all there.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios!
Gaurav: Bye!