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I often think people are assholes themselves for avoiding confrontation when other people are being assholes. I worked in a sexist, demoralizing, horrifically toxic work environment with someone really close to me and, while I can hold my own, there were times where I was shocked this guy didn't stick up for me and watched me getting verbally abused by my boss. Wanting not to 'make waves' can absolutely make someone the asshole.