This/Wayfarers song
Group room in a nice restaurant. Large questionably shaped table. Several folks already seated - VARDAMAN, RAHAH, KERRIS, ILYANATA, CORALINE, and SHERANDRIS. Vardaman is nursing a mug of shalott, and Sherandris is perusing an upside down menu.
A few look up and smile as ARSTEN and CORN approach. Arsten picks a seat at random and sits, Corn hesitates before sitting next to him.
Some folks chatter. Arsten tries to unfold his napkin and winds up with a knot in his hands. Corn fidgets uncomfortably. A WAITER materialises behind them.
Waiter Anything to drink?
Arsten Water.
Coraline (indicating Corn) Root beer for him, pinch of zest.
The waiter nods and disappears.
Rahah Who are we still waiting on?
A newcomer, KYRULE, emerges from a shadow and sits.
Kyrule One more.
Coraline eyes Vardaman, then the waiter appears and gives Corn his root beer, and she flags himover for some shalott.
Corn sniffs the root beer and takes a sip.
Arsten It's alright, you know. At least I think it is.
Corn What-
A winged woman, MYRR, appears out of nowhere behind the last empty seat and almost falls on the table, interrupting him.
Myrr I am sorry. (she seems to be having some trouble balancing herself and trying to fight the chair) It seems my wing has caught in this chair. A moment, if you please.
Vardaman snorts and downs his shalott.
Corn stares at her dumbfounded. Kyrule moves as if to speak, but Rahah beats him to it.
Rahah Perhaps we should all introduce ourselves first. (she stops to think for a moment) I am Eapherod, lord of dreams, blah blah blah nobody cares you should all just call me Rahah. Yes. (she coughs toward her right for the next guy to continue)
Kerris I'm Kerris of Attrel. Mercenary for hire. (he pauses as though thinking carefully) Hi?
There's a pause before Corn realises he's next.
Corn (embarassed) Uh... I'm Corn. I'm but a humble acolyte of Kyrule. I don't... (he panics and looks around desperately)
Arsten pats him on the shoulder.
Arsten Arsten Dren here, I do stuff, you know. Unless you don't.
Rahah He's like Indiana Jones.
Coraline What, an archeologist with a gun?
Rahah If he ever had one that worked, yes.
Ilyanata (continuing the introductions) I am Ilyanata, or Illya. I am the force and reality of dreams, High Priestess of Eapherod, and her will upon the world.
Rahah (overly brightly) Hi Ilya!
Ilyanata (slowly) Hi.
Myrr I am called Myyr of Souls.
There is a pause.
Coraline She's the Falcon of Kyrule. Or was that a falcon? Maybe it was a hawk or something. Or a goose? Geese are terrifying.
Vardaman She's a priest. I'm also a priest, but I generally don't go advertising on that fact on account of embarassment. Other people's. That is. On account of being a far more significant drunk. (he waves his mug for emphasis, tries to down it, realises it's already empty, and stares at it looking betrayed)
Sherandris What's your name?
Vardaman Oh. Vardaman.
Coraline He's actually a deathdealer. Don't let the shalott fool you. And I'm Coraline Henderson, the Hand of Kyrule and his will upon the world. Supposedly.
Rahah Supposedly?
Coraline Weeeeell...
Kyrule Yes.
Coraline Right, well, there was just this accident, right?
Vardaman chokes and starts coughing loudly before being miraculously rescued by the appearance of a waiter with a fresh bottle of shalott.
Corn Uh...
Corn takes this opportunity to decide his root beer is much more fascinating.
Rahah That was an accident?
Coraline and Vardaman both look decidedly embarassed as nobody says anything.
Kyrule (continuing as the next) I am Kyrule.
Sherandris (stretching melodramatically) Heh, gods.
Rahah Har.
Sherandris Rar. Sherandris here. I just like food. Mmm, food. I am completely ordinary. Totally. And food.
Coraline Whackjob ordinary.
Sherandris Exactly. I am as ordinary as an everyday whackjob. On account of being one.
Sherandris How do we get there?
Rahah Morand.
Kyrule That world has been dead for thousands of years.
Rahah Aye. Its orbit passes through a patch of bad space - takes the whole world into the deadlands for part of the cycle, but the laws of physics at least partially hold, since it always comes back after. This gives us a way in. And potentially a way out.
Kerris In six months?
Rahah Assuming time holds on the other side, yes.
Coraline Why would it do that?
Rahah (she sighs) It probably won't.
Coraline So who's our party leader?
Rahah Kyrule! Be our leader.
He gives her a suspicious look.
Rahah ...Unless you want Sherandris to take over an turn us all into an insane clown posse?
Coraline I could go for that.
Corn What...?
Kyrule This is your party.
Rahah No it isn't.
Kyrule Yes. It is.
Coraline Okay, party leader is the idiot who started this mess. Excellent, it's official.
Arsten Agh, does anyone have a toothpick?
Vardaman If you do that again, I swear, I will... I will... why, I'll... what was I saying?
Coraline What do you mean, I can't be a necromancer? I've even had basic training. It's like the only wizarding I know, but I do know it.
Ilyanata That would make sense. Vampire necromancer. It fits.
Rahah No, Sherandris, you can't be a clown. Be a wizard. You'd be a sexy wizard.
Sherandris But I'm not a wizard.
Rahah Learn.
Sherandris But- Yes, dear.
Kerris Do we have a cleric?
Rahah No. No, we definitely do not have a cleric.
Kerris Oh, well, we probably do want a-
Rahah You've never heard of sarcasm, have you?
Corn Why is there an eyeball in my drink?
Kerris Um, what is a cleric, then? It says here 'Alle braive adventeurers should take withe them wone clerick, to tende to the illsome and deathley.'
Coraline Clerics is priests and healers. We've got plenty. Coming out of our ears, as me mum might say.
Kerris Oh. I knew that.
Corn Anyone want an eyeball?
Coraline Is anyone Sheogorath?
Corn Who?
Rahah What?
Coraline I think I'm going to be a necromancer.
Corn I'm going to be a hairdresser.
Arsten Excellent. Could always use one of those on a trip.
Rahah You're a mesmer, Coraline. Mesmers can't be necromancers.
Coraline Who says? Ascended mesmers are perfectly capable of taking on a secondary profession same as everyone else!
Rahah But you're not ascended.
Coraline I'm dead. 'Sclose enough, isn't it?
Rahah You could die in Pre.
Coraline So? This isn't Ascalon.
Vardaman Buggrit, you damn bird, stop that!
Myrr Please stop falling over, then. I will not hit you with my wing if you do not fall on it.
Sherandris You also don't need to be ascended to take a secondary profession - that's just to change it.
Rahah Will you stay out of this? You've never even played the game!
Sherandris Just saying.
Coraline Oh, right. Great. I hereby declare myself a necromancer. Just as soon as I figure out how to allot my traits to death magic, vast armies shall be mine!
Arsten Traits?
Rahah It's a videogame.
Arsten A what?
Rahah Something that hasn't been invented yet.
Coraline What, still? At this rate I'm going to die before they are!
Kyrule Technically you already have.
Coraline Shut up.
Coraline I'm thinking Kralkatoric.
Rahah Zhaitan was cute.
Coraline Ey, don't tell me that. I'm not there yet. I shouldn't be getting spoilers!
Rahah How is it a spoiler that Zhaitan dies in the end? It was practically written on the box. Hells, it might have been written on the box for all I know.
Coraline Wasn't. I bought the box.
Rahah Oh. Well, they mentioned it in a press release or some such.
Coraline Probably on Facebook.
Rahah But I knew about it. How'd I have known if they'd said it there?
Coraline You fought him. Of course you knew.
Rahah Of course I fought him. It's a damn dungeon, isn't it?
Coraline And I'm not there yet.
Rahah Well... what about Jormag?
Coraline What's he look like?
Rahah I dunno, icey?
Coraline Never even seen him, have you?
Rahah What, and you've seen Kralkatoric?
Coraline Saw the Shatterer.
Rahah Well I saw Jormag's Claw. Thing even landed on my gal once.
Corn (glaring up at them from a bedroll) Will you two shut up already? Some of us are trying to sleep!
Coraline and Rahah glare at him. He glares back, then rolls over and tries to get bak to sleep.
Rahah Alright, fine. (whispering) But can we please not turn this into a videogame?
Coraline (whispering) Why not? The Elder Dragons are about the right size, and it's definitely going to be a dragon. Too late for that.
Rahah Because this isn't a videogame? Also that's like copyright violation or something.
Coraline So?
Kerris and Rahah return.
Rahah Good news, everyone! It's a dragon.
Sherandris Excellent. Let's celebrate! (he pulls out a giant tub of cheese puffs)
Ilya Gross.
Coraline (reaching toward the tub) Gimme!
Sherandris removes the lid and holds it out to her while she grabs a handful.
Arsten (musing) Now that's not a phrase I'd have expected before all this... a dragon as good news.
Rahah Well, you know what they say.
Coraline Life is strange, and the alternatives are even stranger?
Rahah What, is this an alternative?
Coraline You're the dead girl.
Rahah You're more dead.
Coraline You died first.
Rahah You died longer.
Coraline No you.
Rahah No you.
Coraline You.
Rahah Your mom.
Coraline Your face.
Ilyanata Ah, such inspiration this is.
Vardaman I'm glad to see we're all grown-ups here.
Corn Do you ever miss your home? The world where you're from?
Coraline Aye.
Corn What do you miss the most about it?
Coraline Probably deodorant.
"What just happened?" Corn asked.
"Vardaman tried to turn her," Kyrule said. "A rather unexpected move."
Eapherod had appeared beside him. "Did you see that?"
"Darkness."
"Yes," she said. It had flickered about Coraline's form like smoke, visible only to those who knew what it was. And Kyrule was learning quickly.
The gods gathered in the darkness, in the unnatural glow, in anticipation of the apocalypse.
Alyr there, the lady of temptation, goddess of cats, with spear at the ready...
Kyrule there, lord of death, keeper of souls, waiting, always waiting...
Nausica there, lord of the depths...
Eapherod saw them, and others, and smiled. Almost there. The plan, Coraline's plan, would soon come to pass.
Darkness swirled in the depths of the abyss in which they stood.
