Black Book/heap
twist - death of souls
She doesn't pass the trial of will.
Things progress. The idiot brigade breaks up some, though they still have the lab - Juane and Leifos seriously pursuing Deathdealer training, Kerka mostly just hanging around and half-arsing things, but never explicitly dropping out as a potential. They pass another trial, this time normally, while Vardaman gets moved to a group of regular Guardians in training, and just sticks with that for the most part. Focuses more on magic. Takes on a more overt role as Keeper, since it's kind of out already, even if she is supposed to be a Secrets Keeper.
Sometimes there's missions with other Guardians, or even Deathdealers, and the Deathdealer potentials.
One time, it goes very wrong.
It's a large mission, two main groups. Three deathdealers, the whole pile those still in the running, of their original group of potentials, along with several priest mages. All four of the idiot brigade are involved, but not together - the guys in one group as potentials, Coraline with another group of potentials, but fulfilling the role of a Keeper they're escorting. They're investigating something. Something big. They're not even quiet about her being a real Keeper, because they actually sort of need a real Keeper.
The Death of Souls is involved. Carriers. It goes bad.
They stop the Carrier(s), but she's turned. She doesn't tell her group. They return to the main group. She goes to pray, and steps into the Grey Lobby...
The Voice calls it 'unfortunate'.
She asks if this is her end, asks what to do.
He tells her, "Probably." Doesn't just tell her to turn herself over to die, as she'd sort of expected. Does ask her what she thinks the options are.
She lays out the options as she sees them, noting that she doesn't know the details of several, and that Kyrule is unlikely to be willing to make the sacrifice required for the one true end she does know. The Voice asks what that is. She tells him it's something very dear, something that she wouldn't sacrifice either, but never answers the question. Part of her mind almost wanders off to wonder why the one thing that ends this is Eapherod, and if the whole thing was perhaps connected to her from the start, but then it... mostly doesn't. They almost certainly don't discuss this, either.
The Voice tells her to invoke the Rite. Talk to one of the Deathdealers, discretely. Invoke the Rite of Soul's Rest, and proceed. He doesn't explain what this is, but she just sort of knows now that he's said it.
(Why doesn't he tell Coraline to invoke this rite?)
She mentions not actually knowing the details of Shalias' story. She'll need to find the story. She'll need time.
Kyrule has the story, the Voice tells her. And he can provide time. Magic.
(Why doesn't he provide the story to Coraline?)
Not magic, she tells him. It's not magic that wards the Carriers who lasted longer. Souls. Soul. Shalias was a Keeper of magic and thus had magic, but it was the nature of that magic as a part of her soul that did it. The one who'd end it survived... will survive... because she was a literal god, though she didn't know it. That doesn't help us...
The Voice reminds her that she is talking to a literal god. This can be arranged.
She asks how.
Make you a Keeper of Magic like Shalias. Already a Keeper, so take on the mantle of all Keepers, and take on the mantle of Kyrule himself.
She doesn't really know what to say to this. The logic seems sound enough, sort of, in the same way the logic of making a cake while really, really drunk seems sound at the time. Or running around screaming about drunk you are, in all caps, inconsistently misspelling 'drunk'. She doesn't really know how to argue with it.
The Voice tells her to channel, so she channels. He touches her forehead. She's not channelling. The magic is just... there. It just is.
She can't stop, because she isn't.
The Voice tells her, Might is harder. She'll need to take the black, as usual. And then take it again. She'll know what to do.
She asks, isn't there a sizeable chance that'll kill her regardless? Regardless of Kyrule's say. Death of Souls, and all.
The Voice says yes, but why expect this?
She says, because you were very concerned about this with the other one. Or will be.
He says, the odds are good enough, for now. Be quick about it.
She's not sure what to make of this. Is it the odds? Weren't the odds good for Coraline, too?
Or is she not important like Coraline? Because Coraline is important. Why is Coraline special? Of course she knows, but why does Kyrule already know Coraline is special? Why doesn't he tell Coraline these things?
Something very major is missing here.
She goes. Finds a Deathdealer. Turns out to be the same one at whom she'd failed the first trial.
She goes along with it. Tells him she needs to talk to him, in private. He's a bit suspicious, says he doesn't want to talk about this, that the matter is closed. She just says, it's not that. Just something that requires some discretion. I need to get some water.
He goes along with it. (They go to?) the inn. She gets a cup of water, they find a reasonable corner. He asks what the matter is.
"Soul's Rest," she says.
He stops, realisation dawning. "Oh," he says, but with meaning.
Maybe they discuss it a bit. Maybe not. At some point maybe she tells him to cast a soul binding on her. He does, and she thanks him.
She doesn't explain what she's doing next. She knows he'll recognise it. It doesn't matter.
She says the words. The oath as done, word for word, only thinking the corrections. Soul already given. Only the name is certain. She stirs the water with a finger, looks at it, hesitates.
He asks her something, or just makes a comment. She maybe replies. Maybe doesn't. But it's terse, if so.
The moment lingers. She's afraid. Actually afraid. She hadn't even realised it until now, or maybe she has, but it hasn't yet been quite so immediate until this moment, this... cup. Not quite water.
She doesn't want this all to be over.
She drinks.
She doesn't realise what she's doing until she's doing it. And that's it. It's simple. Over. She's not dead, or is she? This moment doesn't linger. It stretches. It... stops?
There's a darkness to the emptiness. There's an emptiness to the space, the room, the instant. A feeling. A loss, a fullness. Voices? Noise. The white is blinding, against the black. It's not hunger, it's...
It's the voice, resonating in her head, that ends the moment. You are witnessed, Ense Vardaman. The name has hold to it that it hadn't before. Power. It's Real.
She looks around. Nothing's changed. The inn's the same. She's holding the mug, almost to her lips, in both hands like a pauper's soup. She lowers it. The Deathdealer raises an eyebrow.
"Er," she says. "That actually worked."
The Deathdealer - the other Deathdealer, now - says something. Something trite, probably. He's not amused, or perhaps he is?
She's definitely not amused. She's also not done. Deathdealer was step one, but the point here is Keeper, not Deathdealer. This ritual she knows less well, for some reason. But she also knows it implicitly, just the same, for some reason.
The other Deathdealer probably offers to take the mug off her, or moves to do so, but she doesn't let him. She's still holding it. It still has water. The water. The water she needs to keep right on going...
She says more words. Words suspiciously like the first ritual, but also different. This time she starts by drinking, says more words, channels (how?), drinks, words, dumps rest on head. The room spins. It's all different. It's all the same.
The cat pops his head out of her shirt and belches horrifyingly.
"What have we done?" she whispers. It's more than a whisper. It's...
"Vardaman," the Deathdealer says.
"Yes," she says. No. She's not Vardaman. But she is. All the focus, all the purpose, the specificity. The wandering mind, the dreams, the exactitude of the fine edge of the story itself. Nothing's changed. There's just... more behind it, now. More... to her.
She focuses. It's as easy as dreaming.
They go back, ahead of everyone else. That mission doesn't concern them now.
Vardaman reads through the story. It's in the Library.
(Why isn't it in the Library when Coraline looks?)
They go to the undead beneath the temple. Need something from them. Artefact? Item? Pieces of something broken? It's not Eapherod. It was never Eapherod. That would be too obvious. Too simple.
Memories. Carriers that came before. Incidents. Spacial recall of outbreaks, of...
The one below, with the undead, it's Peledeska. It's a Hole. It's thinnies, covered up for millennia. It's something that hasn't happened yet. It's the reason the undead are even down there at all. It's something they were guarding. Something they avoid. Fear in the walls. In dust. A small gem, a broken spear, a shimmer of soul. A piece of the ritual. A tie to the planes of the living, as they were before the Death of Souls.
They bring witnesses. Kyrule and Vardaman agree: the idiot brigade is perfect. Just get the whole brigade back together. Done. Outsiders too complicated, despite Vardaman's preference for clean controls. Other keepers too close to the god, despite Kyrule's preference for keeping it all entirely in-house. These are not close, but can be trusted, because they have been keeping such secrets properly already.
They collect the... thing.
The brigade sticks together, too, now plus one. They go other places. Do other things. Play out the Shalias story, building up to the finale. Vardaman learns the full ritual, even more so than Shalias ever did, and far more about necromancy and the unclean handling of souls than anyone with her is at all comfortable with. But they go along with it anyway. Such is the nature of the Rite of Soul's Rest.
They end in the City of Death. Go through the World's Gate via Arah. Vardaman is a witch, and sticks to being a witch, despite holding all the power of Kyrule. The power of a witch is understatement. They use normal means even when they needn't.
Kyrule welcomes them, welcomes her. It's bittersweet, but dear. Mourning.
There's no particular ado. They get to it, do the ritual, or start it, or start to start it. They realise they screwed up, entirely. It doesn't work. It can't work. Vardaman is Kyrule. To bind the Death of Souls to her is to bind it to Kyrule, and that just is not possible. There is no mortal soul to anchor the whole thing, not even a facsimile of one. Or perhaps the problem is only that it's Kyrule. What Kyrule is. Will be? Was?
And they just don't have what they need to do the other one. To actually end the Death of Souls.
There's no argument, nothing. Just the realisation, the horrible sinking feeling of 'oh fuck', and Kyrule ends the play right there. Twists the ritual as Shalias did, removes the Death of Souls from this Keeper, too, this Avatar, and boots the entire idiot brigade, plus one, all back to Abearanoth. No comment.
They're all very confused. Everyone else because what the fuck, did it work? That didn't feel like it working. Vardaman because this didn't even answer anything. What had Shalias' realisation been? Not this, certainly.
Why wasn't it in her book?
What else wasn't in her book?
She goes back later, just looking at everything in passing, around the edges. Looking just at what's right in front of her, not even trying to find meaning. Shalias' book is full of holes.
