Holes/Session 6
A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
EXT. Village - day
While Radek talks to the villagers, the rest of the party mills about in the dustiness of the street. There's a fair bit of rubble and random stuff lying around - twisted metal, melted stone, wood that couldn't possibly be wood... the sort of thing kids would love to play on, except there don't seem to be any kids. Anywhere.
RHU
(he elbows Gravy)
There's a lot of dust here. How's the digging?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm not burying dust.
RHU
(indicating the nearby buildings)
What's up with those shingles? They hurt my head.
Rhu goes and steals a shingle.
The porridge wiggles.
There is a loud thimphk sound behind them, followed by a bit of a cloud of dust rising from the impact.
Aziraphale turns to look properly and finds a kind of metal object half embedded in the ground. It is, apparently, an anvil.
RHU
Huh! Did it fall from the empty sky? Did it just appear magically behind us? What is it for?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's an anvil. They don't usually drop from the sky.
RHU
What's an anvil?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Used for... shaping hot metal.
RHU
Huh. It looks dangerous, it could have killed someone. Maybe that's what happened to all the children...
AZIRAPHALE
What, an anvil dropped on them? Don't be silly.
Radek, can you ask them if stuff drops out of the sky?
RADEK
(in deslau, to one of the villagers)
Does this happen often?
Villager shrugs.
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
Sometimes. Not really.
RHU
Do we have any technology that could warn us of incoming anvils? We might need to dodge them at some point.
RADEK
The villagers don't see this sort of event often.
I have nothing on hand, at least.
AZIRAPHALE
Okay, so it's at least happened before. This is curious.
RADEK
It is, these days. Well, in our days.
AZIRAPHALE
What about the funny metal things/toys? Did those drop from the sky as well?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Given how fast those drop, you'd need some seriously awesome detector thing.
RHU
Ah, true.
The porridge drips down Greibel's arm.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek, can you ask them where these came from? Piles of scrap metal isn't really what I'd expect from this level of technology.
The older villager gets up and ambles off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I probably wouldn't expect a rain of anvils either, though.
Greibel draws funny pictures in the dirt with a stick.
RADEK
(in deslau)
Where did this metal come from?
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
You know.
RADEK
(in deslau)
Nowhere?
VILLAGER
(in deslau)
Oh, totally. I'm sure it just appeared one day. Everything came from somewhere, right? Except where did it all come from before there was a SOMEWHERE for it to come from, hmm?
The villager nods sagely.
Radek grumbles.
RADEK
He doesn't know. Another rift in space, I assume.
EXT. Car - day
The party returns to the car to head out, with Rhu retaking the driver's seat, and the others piling in around.
There's a rough drawing of a tree with something written under it.
Rhu realises he sat on something.
RHU
Huh?
He finds a string of beads.
RHU
Huh! Do these beads mean anything to anyone?
There's some shrugging and general dissent.
RADEK
(indicating the drawing)
...It says "guard".
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ominous.
RHU
Yeah, maybe it's magical? Maybe it "guards" us? Also, what's with the tree?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Either it's 'beware the tree" or "the tree is a guard" or the tree means nothing and it's just general blabbings.
RADEK
I'm inclined to believe the latter. I'm a scientist.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... I don't think we can gain much information from that alone. Let's go to the sinkhole.
They fly off toward the sinkhole.
EXT. Hole at Vermai - day
The car ship flies toward what turns out to be a really large, mostly dead tree with a bit of a sinkhole right next to it.
The tree dwarfs the surrounding trees, and has a much smaller tree, which is still alive, apparently growing out of the side of it.
The sinkhole is mostly just a really dusty, dry-looking sinkhole.
GREIBEL
(to Rhu)
Of course I can talk to bears, silly.
RADEK
From what I've been told, approaching any further would be unwise.
They stop in midair a fair distance away.
RHU
One of these trees might be our dashboard tree. But which one?
RADEK
Don't ask me. I don't deal in organics.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is all really weird. That living one isn't the same kind as the big one. And I don't see roots.
That's really weird.
RHU
I dunno. Compared to Sarathi, this is almost mundane. So far.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It might not be a tree. Maybe something trying to look like one.
RHU
Griebel, do your flock of seagulls thing!
GREIBEL
And I raaaan. I raaan so faaar awaaaaay.
Wait, maybe that's the wrong band...
Greibel turns into birds and then sends one bird out to approach the tree.
It seems normal enough. Hello, tree. Nice tree. It lands. A tree. A little bit ill, a little bit lush, but not something dangerous. Smells just fine. Feels just fine.
Then the flock of Greibel all sort of just falls asleep. (rolled 7 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There. See. That's not normal.
The porridge sits on Greibel's seat emitting an aura of loneliness, and oozes over one of the birds, partially enveloping it in a strange sort of hug.
Rhu reaches out to pat the porridge reassuringly, but the porridge cowers away from his hand.
Aziraphale fidgets, feeling the hole calling to him. (rolled 11 reality)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Someone poke the rest of Greibel, would you?
RHU
OY BIRDS. WAKE UP.
The birds in the car neglect to wake up.
The bird on the tree falls off the branch and tumbles into the hole. (rolled 3 reality)
Aziraphale, meanwhile, loses control in light of the power of the hole's call and climbs out of the car, falling to the ground. (rolled 1 reality)
He continues crawling toward it on the ground.
RHU
Azir! Dammit.
RADEK
Oh, great.
Rhu directs the car to land between Aziraphale and the hole.
RADEK
Gravy, hold him back.
As the vehicle passes over Aziraphale, the Gravedigger jumps out, landing on top of him and pinning him down.
Aziraphale recovers slightly and stops trying to crawl into the sinkhole. (rolled 17 reality)
The flock of Greibel also wakes up a bit and makes some funny bird noises. (rolled 8 reality)
From here, the contents of the sinkhole are much more visible. Said contents seem to just be water. It looks disappointingly normal.
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, Gravy, get off me, I feel better now.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Promise not to start running into that hole?
AZIRAPHALE
Probably not.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hmm.
The Gravedigger gets off Aziraphale, but remains close in case he runs again.
RHU
So investigate the hole on foot? And hope we don't all fall asleep?
AZIRAPHALE
I think it'll be a better idea if two people take a look. And that two people shouldn't include me.
RADEK
Let's start with something useless.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What, throw a rock?
Radek glances at Greibel.
RADEK
(quietly)
Like... a rock. Yes.
RHU
...can Greibel turn into a giant spider? Spiders are good at holes. Or tunnels, at any rate.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It looked like it had water at the bottom. If there's a magic ripping hole in there, it's invisible.
AZIRAPHALE
Isn't one part of Greibel already in the hole? It might have drowned. It might have fallen through time. Frankly I have no idea.
The rest of Greibel just sits there making noises.
RHU
I could go with the rope tied around me. I'm pretty light. Or lithe.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll look.
Aziraphale fidgets and then gets tackled by the Gravedigger again.
Radek gets out of the car as well and impatiently heads for the edge of the hole in order to peer in properly. The water in the sinkhole is actually quite pretty, with shades of blue and green fading to black at its depths...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SOMEONE GRAB RADEK.
I have my hands full of paladin here.
RADEK
I'll be fine! I'm coated in the stuff of time and non-existence.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
FINE THEN.
RHU
If we want to do the rope thing, we need to do that now and then back away. Otherwise we're all going to get mentally dragged into the hole.
Radek tosses a rock into the hole and it splashes into the water, exactly like a rock should do.
Then the rock bobs back up to the surface and floats, exactly like a rock shouldn't do.
RADEK
Alright, hand me a rope.
Rhu looks around for anything else around the hole and spots the seagull back in the tree. (rolled 22 perception)
RHU
Hey! Isn't that a bit of Greibel?
He looks again and the gull is gone.
RHU
Hey, where did it go?
Radek makes Rhu move the car over the hole and tie a rope to it, and hastily ties the other end of the rope around his waist.
As Rhu watches, peering down into the hole, he feels all of his problems just fade away. All of the horror of the past few days just melts... (rolled 5 reality)
RHU
That water looks really cool and refreshing ... maybe a short swim will help us think about this problem better?
Aziraphale fidgets.
Radek dives into the hole. (rolled 4 reality) The rope goes taut with him hanging a couple meters above the water.
RHU
The water. So relaxing.
Radek hangs over the water. He suddenly realises how much he loves the hole. How wonderful it is. (rolled 1 reality) How he could be one with the hole. All of the hole. The hole.
RADEK
THIS HOLE IS GREAT!
Lower the car! I haven't hit the surface yet!
On one of the car seats, where nobody is looking, a porridge-wrapped seagull fidgets.
Rhu fidgets and lowers the car.
By the edge, Aziraphale continues to fidget, and the Gravedigger lets go. Aziraphale just stays put for the time being.
Frezak (Gravy): I might as well just pitch everyone into the hole at this point.
As Radek is lowered into the water, he submerges with a plop and sinks. The water is dark and watery and fairly clear, and there is very little of interest.
The Gravedigger throws some random bits of junk into the water. A handaxe. Some rocks. The handaxe sinks. The rocks float.
Radek sees an axe drifting down nearby before suddenly disappearing, and climbs up the rope back to the surface of the water.
RADEK
Who just threw an axe at me!?
Aziraphale sees bones. All around Sticking out of the ground. Piled up. Littered about. (rolled 7 reality)
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, guys, there are bones here. There are...
(he looks more closely at them)
Plastic bones here!
RADEK
Plastic bones? Who cares! The axe disappeared!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That... sounds like a decoy.
AZIRAPHALE
(indicating the bones that only he can see)
Come look!
The Gravedigger plods over to test the bones, but he doesn't see any.
Aziraphale sweeps his arms to point at the bones all around them.
AZIRAPHALE
You can't see them?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GODS FUCKING DAMMIT. THIS IS HOPELESS.
I'm gonna go back and become a helpful member of some community.
RHU
Radek, what does the water smell like?
RADEK
You tell me! I can't smell things!
Aziraphale: 2 Frezak: 2 Aziraphale ignores the bones and walks back to the sinkhole. Gravy follows. It looks so... nice... A way home. A way out of this. A way to just go somewhere away from the crazy... RHU HEY! AZIRAPHALE I want to go in. I really want to go in. I think I should go in. RHU WAIT! COME BACK! Aziraphale walks towards the hole while taking off the more unwieldy bits of his gear, and sits down at the edge, looking down. AZIRAPHALE Yes. I think I should. Come, the rest of you, why don't you? RADEK If that water made an axe disappear, I'd encourage you to think about what it'll do to you. AZIRAPHALE It looks so nice... peaceful. What can it do? I'm insane and seeing bones y'all can't see. We got jumped to another planet. Everyone on Sarathi is dead. (he looks back at the others) Well... if you're not following... Aziraphale edges forward and dives in, hitting the water with a splash. Rhu mutters something under his breath. There's a horrible sucking squelching noise. Apheori (GM): The water level suddenly starts lowering until it all drains out the bottom... leaving a dry stone base a few hundred feet down. Radek falls back to the end of the rope. Aziraphale is just... gone. RADEK I warned him. Wen: I did take off my gear. So you have at least a spare sword and whatever other thingies. Rhu gasps, then quickly mumbles a prayer to Hazz'ridan Gaurav: Ah, that's why you did that! If you've been trasnported somewhere, you're now without protection and weapons, though. Apheori (GM): What sort of prayer? This might be important! Wen: I'm not sure if this was where I got killed off. Up to the GM. Apheori (GM) smacks Wen. Wen: ow. Frezak: "Make sure that he cannot go anywhere and is stuck forever without progression?" A god of Dead Ends isn't really gonna be too useful here >.> Gaurav: It's a spur-of-the-moment prayer-of-protection thing, like you might teach a kid who's scared of the monsters under his bed Frezak: Oh, the Soldier's Prayer. Gaurav: Rhu's just kind of panicking here Wen: something about how it's not really death, I just got an express ticket to the dead end If you recognise the reference, I salute you. Apheori (GM): Nope. Gaurav: "Worshipful-Hazz'ridan-keeper-of-ends-guide-and-protect-me-until-the-end" kind of thing Apheori (GM): Rhu: Hazz'ridan blesses you with your mind back. Gaurav: My mind was ... not back? Apheori (GM): It was only mostly back. It seemed back, but it wasn't. Ganelon: It always seems backer than it is. Gaurav: Gan: hahaha Apheori (GM): Now it's really back - like how it was bfor all it this started. Gaurav: Aph: so what is new in my mind? Apheori (GM): You're surrounded by CRAZY EVERYWHERE. Also the hole is actually visible now. Gaurav: HOLY CRAP Wen: Ah, no wonder. I completely butchered the reference. But do carry on. Apheori (GM): It's a strange little rippling thing in the air, not far from where Radek is hanging. That's the real hole. The rest just sort of... happened on top of it. Rhu blinks Rhu blinks again. The hole is still there. Rhu goes down on one knee and prays to Hazz'ridan to reveal the truth to all his companions Apheori (GM): Rhu: You feel a warm, loving embrace of TENTACLES EVERYWHERE/ . RHU Mm, tentacular. Apheori (GM): You're not really sure what to make of this. Gaurav: After everything that's happened in the last few days, Rhu is perfectly happy to take warmth and love where he can. Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek sees it too: a shimmering rift in space. Gaurav: Plus, clearly, something deep and religiously meaningful is going on. Rhu didn't believe in an active god who does more than work through his servants, but ... he's starting to now. RADEK Hmph. RHU Not sure if his prayer worked, Rhu describes what he can see to his companions. He leaves out the bit about the tentacles, though. RADEK Now this is more like it. Ganelon: May I inspect this rift, magically? Apheori (GM): Gravy would see it if he actually looked. I dunno what he's up to. You totally can. Ganelon: rolling 1d20+10 ( 3 ) +10 = 13 Nnooooo Apheori (GM): Also the seagulls start dancing. Frezak: I don't know what I'm up to either. Apheori (GM): Gan: It seems to be a... rift in space! RADEK This, my... companions, is a rift in space. THE GRAVEDIGGER Great. RADEK That's all I can tell you about it. THE GRAVEDIGGER So it's a hole, like the willagers said. RHU Well, we found it. At terrible cost, but we found it. THE GRAVEDIGGER Azi might be haging around naked on the other side. Frezak: Did he leave his radio? RHU Oooh, perhaps. Apheori (GM): Yes. >.< Frezak: Bleh. So what now? Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan to keep Azir safe. He's really getting into this praying lark. RHU Let's maybe send a single bird through THIS rift and hope that it doesn't take Griebel out again? Apheori (GM): Considering Griebel is still out... You could totally grab a bird and chuck it through. Frezak: I tihnk a bird is probably already through. Since I don't think we've seen the missing one? Ganelon: Would that be like tearing pieces of his consciousness off and throwing them into another dimension? Apheori (GM): Quite possibly. Ganelon: I mean, I'm not too clear on how swarms of animals... work. Apheori (GM): Granny Weatherwax did it. Sort of. Frezak: Well in D&D swarms can't normally split off bits. Unless it's a result of damage or something. Apheori (GM): Everyone: Roll perception. Rhu: rolling d20+11 perception chek ( 7 ) +11 = 18 Ganelon: rolling 1d20+7 ( 8 ) +7 = 15 Frezak: rolling 1D20+8 ( 10 ) +8 = 18 Ganelon: Er, +1 again. RHU everybody gets +1 if they're within 5 squares of me because of "Group Awareness" Frezak: Dammit. 19 for me then. Apheori (GM): Gan: You notice some bits of metal and wood by the rift. And a feather. Gaurav: Haha Apheori (GM): It's windy. And dry. Some of Radek's coating is starting to seep into the rope. Ganelon: Oh hell no. I remove myself from the rope's proximity at once. And if I can reach those bits safely, I'll head over to look at them. Apheori (GM): So Radek drops to the ground by the rift. It's oddly charged near it, sort of like static. The bits appear to be the remains of some shredded twigs and stuff. Well, the wood, anyway. The metal is less clear. It's mostly wood, though. Ganelon: I'll take some back. Whatever's convenient to carry. Apheori (GM): Some bits of wood and most of the metal, then. Ganelon: Yeah. Frezak: I want to examine the metal. See if it's future-quality. Apheori (GM): Roll a thingy. Frezak: rolling 1D20+8 ( 13 ) +8 = 21 Apheori (GM): It seems to be, yes... Then you realise it used to be your axe. Rhu stays the heck away from the mysteriously draining pool and the magical whatsits, but walks up to the edge so he can better hear what the brains of the group make of it. THE GRAVEDIGGER That was my axe. I don't think that Azi is alive. RHU If Azir is dead, we can ressurrect him from any fragment of his body, if one of those bits are fragments from his body. If he has been teleported elsehwere or something, then no. Frezak: Do any of the bits look meaty? RADEK Do you see any of his parts laying around? Gaurav: I heard this on the Penny Arcade D&D game, so I don't know how true it is. Apheori (GM): No parts lying around. Except a feather. ...probably not Azir's. Gaurav: haha Frezak: This is no pit of acid. Ganelon: It's true. Frezak: Only one thing to do. Loot Azir's stuff. Ganelon: Yeah, I guess so. Wen: Sword, knives, coin Rhu looks for his religious implement -- maybe I can return it to his order, or talk to one of Hazz'ridan's priests about getting it to someone who needs it. Wen: sarathi communicator RHU his -> Azir's Frezak: Load everything into the car. Wen: ... not sure about other stuff. General armour headgear and crap. Frezak: Actually. Is there any water left? Apheori (GM): You mean one of Carriya's priests? Frezak: We can always trade plate armour. That shit's expensive. Ganelon: We most certainly can. Frezak: especially future-forged plate. Apheori (GM): All of the water is gone. Well, you may have some with you. But the sinkhole water is gone. Frezak: I mean specifically the hole water. Apheori (GM): Ah. Frezak: I was gonna soak something in it and throw it trhough the portal to see if it would emerge unshredded. On the off-chance that the water would had protected Azi. But, eh. Take his shit and bugger off. Unless anyone has any ideas what to do here. Gaurav: Good thinking. Rhu looks up to see if the little tree is still glowing. Ganelon: No ideas remain. Apheori (GM): The tree looks like a tree, not really glowing now, but protected by magic. Normal magic. Druid magic. RHU Huh. Frezak: Protected by Greibel magic or some other druid's magic? Apheori (GM): Some other druid. Greibel is a flock of lethargic gulls. Frezak: oh. Well that explains the warning. RHU Dancing, lethargic gulls? Or have they stopped dancing? Apheori (GM): The stopped dancing. y Frezak: How long does your language ritual last, Gan? Gaurav: What warning? The tree with "guard" written on it? Frezak: Yeah. I'm guessing the tree is a meant to knock out people that try to get near the hole. It's stopping people from getting shredded, or something. RHU Strange place to put it, then. And the sign could have been clearer about which tree. We are in the middle of a forest. Oh, maybe some of those squiggles meant "the tree that glows" the water glowed too. Maybe it was also part of some kind of protection system? In which case, is anybody nervous that we seem to be turning all the protection systems off? Ganelon: A day, Frezak. Frezak: Well we could poke around and look for a druid. And there was that shiny crap near the mutant bird. Rhu looks up at the sky to estimate what the time of day might be. Apheori (GM): It's around midday. This feels wrong, somehow. RHU The time feels wrong? Apheori (GM): It should be later. Wasn't it around midday when you got here? You're not really sure. Frezak: It was? I thought it was a few minutes trip. Apheori (GM): You dallies around a bit. It may not have been. Dallied. Before going. It seems right to Gravy, then. But Gravy ain't Rhu. Frezak: Eh. At this point anything that feels wrong is probably right. Ganelon: Everything is quite wrong. Frezak: So, what now? Ganelon: Dunno! To the town? Gaurav: I thought we left the inn at dawn, hung out with the villagers for 30 mins, and then took no more than an hour to get here. So midday sounds about right to me, too. RHU I would agree with going to town, but ... since we're here, shouldn't we investigate this rift? It might have something to do with Sarathi. Reality breaking down and all that. Although to be honest, this rift is much better behaved than Sarathi was. THE GRAVEDIGGER What can we do with this? I've no idea. RHU Poke it with a stick? See if it destroys the stick, any how. THE GRAVEDIGGER Well it fucked up my axe. You try something. Apheori (GM): I bet Radek has even fancier ideas. Ganelon: Distracted. One sec. RHU I'm going to throw stones at it. Rhu throws stones at the rift. Ganelon: As a player I actually haven't got many. I don't have a ritual for this. Apheori (GM): The first couple are shredded. Another bounces off. One of them just sort of disappears. You could throw magic dust at it or something. ...I dunno. Ganelon: Magic dust is crazy valuable. I can't get it just anywhere. Apheori (GM): I mean you have other things that might react differently, or specially, or something. Ganelon: Hm. Apheori (GM): You could totally establish a spectrum of reagents and then perform a binary search on the effects to discern a... thingy. Thing. Apheori (GM) babbles. Ganelon: Hm. Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan for wisdom in dealing correctly with this dangerous rift. Ganelon: I will use... my daily. Frezak: The eyebot? Apheori (GM): Daily? RHU Here's what I have: an old journal (which maybe Radek can read now that our minds have been restored), a ceramic tile from the village roof, a half-digested light fixture and a string of beads left on my car seat this morning Apheori (GM): Rhu: Dammit, why could you not have been a cleric? RHU Because we already had a leader Ganelon: Okay. Rhu examines the string of beads closely. Ganelon: This is the Punishing Eye. In combat, it is a robot that flies around and zaps enemies when you guys attack them. I will use it as a camera. Rhu: rolling 1d20+7 religion check to see if the beads have any religious significance ( 3 ) +7 = 10 Ganelon: May I do this? Gaurav: To be fair, there isn't a *whole* lot a cleric can do on paper than I can't do. Our main power is abjure undead. Frezak: Clerics heal, Avengers smite, basically. Gaurav: I think the DM is hinting that we should be trying the things we have. The eye might just get disintegrated like me stones. Frezak: Flavour-wise, they're both holy guys that do shit for thier god. Gaurav: Yes, but religiously. I have a +7 religion check; a cleric might be a bit higher, but not a _huge_ difference. Ganelon: Well, my other option is basically to attack it with arcane magic. Frezak: Actually, no. The Cleric in my game has very low religion, since it's an Int skill. Apheori (GM): Rhu: The rift is a dead end. This is a world of dead ends, with ends getting ever deader as time goes on. Hazz'ridan should be pleased, but he is not, for they are not his dead ends. They are something else entirely, and this is very, very bad. You should get to the bottom of it, because the other gods seem inclined to utterly ignore it and you're the first mortal of his to have even gone near it. Ganelon: Yeah, but she's also kinda just winging it. Apheori (GM): Rhu: The beads might hold such significance. You're not sure, but there is a bit of magic about them. It could be divine. Gan: You can totally do the eye thing. What happens if it gets wrecked, though? Frezak: But generally clerics don't have more than 12 Int. He has infinite eyes. He can just make another over the course of the day. Ganelon: I can rebuild it, but tomorrow. Apheori (GM): Excellent for him. Okay. Ganelon: It sees nothing after entering the rift? Frezak: WILBUR GO FORTH Apheori (GM): Did you do that? Gaurav: Ah, true. hahaha Apheori (GM): Roll a thing first if it even gets into the rift. >.< Sorry. Ganelon: A d20? Apheori (GM): Sure, I dunno. Ganelon: rolling 1d20 ( 1 ) = 1 Pfft. Apheori (GM): It bounces off. GOOD JOB. RHU Oh phew. Ganelon: Can I... recover it? RHU Try again? Apheori (GM): Can those things survive hitting the ground? Because if so, why not. Frezak: There are rules for the.. resistance of Constructs. it's tough. It can take a couple of lasers or fireballs. Apheori (GM): Give it another go, then. Ganelon: rolling 1d20 ( 12 ) = 12 Apheori (GM): IT GOES IN. Ganelon: The daily aspect of this thing assumes it's run out of power after shooting lasers at things for an entire fight. So it's pretty sturdy but runs out of... I guess some kind of magical battery quite fast. The entire thing is far from irreplaceable, though. Apheori (GM): How does it see? RHU Woo! Ganelon: I'd like to say, through a camera. I mean, the game only cares about how it fights, and it operates independent of me controlling it there. Apheori (GM): What kind of camera? Okay, so it flies in and is sort of surrounded by horrible darkness. It's horrible, right? It's just floating in horrible. Ganelon: A... magical one? Lenses and all that, certainly, but it has to "think" for itself. Apheori (GM): It flies around the horrible, encountering more horrible darkness. Ganelon: And that part is most definitely magical. Apheori (GM): I assume it's reporting back to you somehow? Ganelon: Yeah. So if that connection remains unbroken, I would experience the horrible. Frezak: Great. Apheori (GM): Neat. It bounces off something. Then there's light everywhere and it's tumbling through the light. It's on a beach. Sand. Sea. Palm trees. Ganelon: Any signs of our poor paladin? Apheori (GM): Pile of dead spikey sea creatures nearby. RHU Any ... giant fish? Apheori (GM): Tracks belonging to... well, you have no idea, but they ain't his. No giant fish.. RADEK Fascinating. Also, horrible. But it does seem that some manner of stable environment exists on the other side of this rift. Apheori (GM): Also the palm trees are dead. Like they were just dried out suddenly. So it wasn't immediately apparent. RADEK It's in no better shape. THE GRAVEDIGGER Not much use unless you have idea how to get trhough safely. Since being shredded is still possible. Apheori (GM): The rift on this side is enormous. THE GRAVEDIGGER And I don't want to be shredded. RADEK ...Oh my. We're looking at a much larger hole on the other side. Apheori (GM): It stretches across the beach, into the waves, which just sort of slice around it, and up the sky and overhead. The light is darker than it should be , and getting darker, shifting to purple... Reality folds in on itself. Ganelon: ...Communications cut? Gaurav: Reality on that side or this side? Ganelon: I should sincerely hope that one. Apheori (GM): That side. And, well, everything is dark. But you think it's still there. Somewhere. Gaurav: Phew. RADEK We... are going to want to close this. And I'm going to need a new robot. (To Rhu): You definitely want to close this. You god has very nearly commanded it. Or as close as he ever gets to commanding anything. Apheori (GM): The darkness this time is different from the previous one. It appears to just be a dark... room? Gaurav: Hazz'ridan would see a dead end here where the roads cut across space and time. We must close this. Ganelon: Hm. Gaurav: Er, that was supposed to be Rhu, sorry. Ganelon: I'll have it shoot the laser. That ought to produce light. RHU He wills it. Apheori (GM): The laser reveals it to be a large cave, full of stalagtagamiteses. ...you know what I mean. Ganelon: I do. RADEK First a beach, now a cave... Apheori (GM): There's no visible rift here, but the space around seems to ripple in shimmer in the light before it goes out. Ganelon: Well, it can't exactly power the weapon for long enough to really get anywhere as a source of light. Apheori (GM): Does it move? Ganelon: I suppose, while it's still active. Apheori (GM): As it moves it encounters pockets of more and less resistance. The air is funny, but also the space is funny. Then it passes through a thinner patch and it's somewhere else once again. This looks like Sarathi. Same style of architecture, same sort of technology, at least. It's in a building, in an open area full of tables and rubble and sunlight. Some overgrown plants reach toward the openings in the walls and ceiling. The connection, however, is getting tenuous at best, as though it has been getting further and further away with each passage... Ganelon: Let's see if it can get outside and take a look at the sky. Before we lose it. Apheori (GM): It heads out one of the holes in the wall, revealing a vista that very definitely is Sarathi. This city, however, it utterly demolished. Few buildings remain past their foundations, as though they had collapsed after a a great battle. The sky, however, is ordinary enough. A bit of a smoky haze lies around the horizons. Billowy clouds drift overhead. Three moons are also visible. But didn't Sarathi only have two moons? Ganelon: Interesting. Well, there's certainly nowhere for the thing to go. Gaurav: Look for more holes? It looks like there's a place -- the beach -- where all the holes intersect, and there's a little hole here and a big one (or many little ones?) on Sarathi but maybe the beach world is where we'll have to go to shut this whole thing down. Ganelon: If there's even anything left of it by the time we get there. Frezak: I'm not going into any of those unless I'm sure i'm not going to end up as Purina Gravy. Gaurav: We could close up this hole and then go look for Sarathi again, see if we can figure out how to close the hole situation there. It's a band-aid solution, but fixing all of space and time seems a bit beyond a bunch of level 1 adventurers anyway. Ganelon: Well, we Apheori (GM): Oh, that reminds me. You should all level up. Ganelon: We've gotta KILL THINGS to level, usually Although solving mysteries is another way. Frezak: The chickens were already dead. Apheori (GM): Gan: You lose the connection entirely. The thing is gone. RADEK Blast. Well, it reached Sarathi, and the sky was much more agreeable this time. The place is utterly destroyed. Although, I wouldn't assume that it discovered the planet at the same "present" we are enjoying right now. RHU Yes. I think we should try to close this hole now, then see if we can't find a city and report back to HQ on all this holes business. RADEK I don't think there *is* a city to find here. We should count ourselves lucky if this planet is simply underdeveloped, and not in the past itself. THE GRAVEDIGGER Any of what you'd call technology on this world is not native. RHU Oh, right. The past. Apheori (GM): There's a bit of a gurgling bubbling noise. Rhu looks around for the source of the noise Apheori (GM): Water has started seeping back into the hole. Ganelon: Huh. I'll gladly take a sample of that. RHU From where? Ganelon: I assume from below. Apheori (GM): Yeah, you're like in the bottom of this deep hole basin thing. It's seeping back out of the bottom. Not very quickly, though. But enough to be gurgly. Frezak: Is the water... weird at all? Glowing? Smell funny? Apheori (GM): It's muddy. Looks normal. Smells a bit like sulfur. Sulphur in english? Oh, whatever. Frezak: Did it smell like that before? Apheori (GM): Not really. Frezak: Hmm. Ganelon: Either form is acceptable. I'll still take some just to be sure. Gaurav: We don't know: Radek was the only one close enough to smell it, and he doesn't smell. Frezak: So we've learnt that the hole goes somewhere else. That there are holes of different sizes. Possibly interconnected. RHU Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, is displeased by this state of affairs and would like us to close this hole. He would like this very, very much. THE GRAVEDIGGER Well maybe he could tell us how. Else he can go bury himself. RHU I'll ask him. Rhu prays to Hazz'ridan, maker of ends, for wisdom in the ways of closing rifts in space and time. Apheori (GM): Hazz'ridan says he has no fucking idea and frankly this is the first time anyone has even gotten this far with the whole mess. RADEK I couldn't care less what your god would like us to do, but in the interests of my own survival, I'm closing this hole. Gaurav: Do I hear his hallowed voice in my head, or does everybody hear it bellow across the land? Apheori (GM): In your head. Hazz'ridan also says you should try to find out. RHU Hazz'ridan is alas unable to help us, but encourages us to find a way. He says nobody else has ever gotten this far to sorting this mess out so I guess we're ahead of the crowd there. Apheori (GM): And then maybe if you could be so good as to beat Kyrule over the head with it, everything can go back to fine and normal with good and proper dead ends like there are supposed to be. THE GRAVEDIGGER So your god is as clueless as us. WHoop-dee-doo. Rhu mutters "Amen." to Hazz'ridan under his breath. RADEK So we need to do all the work ourselves. Nothing new there. Apheori (GM): Where'd everyone go? Ganelon: I didn't go anywhere. Apheori (GM): It says you did. o_O Ghuh. Is Gaurav still here too? Okay. Gaurav: Yup! Apheori (GM): Okay. RHU But seriously, get to the bottom of it, he says. It spans worlds, universes, that were never meant to be connected. You have been pulled from your own and that you wound up here is a greater blessing than you could have imagined. You are not alone here, and this shall not be your dead end. HE'S HELPED YOU NOW. Apheori (GM) glares at the app thingy. THE GRAVEDIGGER Well do you have any idea HOW to close it, Radek? Rhu repeats this to the group RADEK None. Dealing in spatial instabilities is a hobby of mine at best. Apheori (GM): Also you 're standing in a layer of water now. Maybe ankle deep. Rhu walks out of the hole Apheori (GM): You need to get into the car. Rhu gets into the car. RHU Amadi seemed to know a thing or two. I wonder if we could get her back somehow. Maybe if we could figure out where Midnight was. Or when. Rhu gets into the driving seat. Frezak: I'll get back into the car too. Ganelon: Ditto. Apheori (GM): The seagulls are asleep, wrapped in porridge. RADEK Well, she didn't show up while I was working. Apheori (GM): According to the mechanics, what happens to Greibel's stuff when he's seagulls? RHU Aw. Porridge gulls. Ganelon: It becomes a part of his form. Apheori (GM): Ah. Ganelon: Armor still protects him but not shields. It's... weird. Apheori (GM): Huh. Frezak: he drops handheld items that are not Implements. So anything that's not a staff or Totem for him. Ganelon: I can see why they did it, because otherwise you'd have no end of trouble picking up all your junk every single fight, but still. Apheori (GM): So potentially there's a bong and crap under the pile of porridge-wrapped gulls? Or is a bong an implement? Gaurav: It should be for him, I think :) Frezak: He probably does have Bong Proficiency. Ganelon: Yeah. Bong Expertise even, I dare say. But maybe not Bong Focus Apheori (GM): Okay, then. Everyone roll perception. Frezak: rolling 1D20+8 ( 11 ) +8 = 19 Ganelon: rolling 1d20+7+1 ( 15 ) +7+1 = 23 Frezak: DAMMIT ANother +1 >.> Apheori (GM): For some reason the rift seems to be trying to twist away from the water. Like it doesn't like it. Gaurav: rolling d20+11 perception check ( 8 ) +11 = 19 Apheori (GM): You guys noticed this. GOOD JOB. Ganelon: I have some of this water, yeah? Frezak: Feels great to have a perception skill for once. Apheori (GM): Yes you do. Ganelon: Alright. I'm not throwing it away or anything. Just making sure. Frezak: Soak a gull in water and throw it in. RHU Huh. Is the rift low enough that it would have been under water when we got here? Apheori (GM): It was definitely under water when you got here. It's near the bottom of the hole. Frezak: Do you do that? Frezak: Not if peeps tell me not to. RHU If we just stand back and do nothing, the water is going to cover it in a bit anyway. And we don't have to sacrifice part of Greibel's soul Frezak: SO how do we close it? I'll fill a bottle with this water and fling it into the portal. RHU So: the rift was covered in water it dislikes and with a tree overhead to "guard" it or something. But it didn't work, because this planet has had a bad time of it. So: maybe us uncovering it made it worse? Maybe together they can't be destroyed but once the rift is unprotected it can be? So many questions. We could go back to the village and try to find someone who understands this better than us. RADEK It's as good a place to start as any. Apheori (GM): The bottle bounces off and lands in the rest of the water. Frezak: Hmm. I'll get the bottle back. Grab one of the bits of wood. Get that nice and wet. And toss THAT in. Gaurav: The DM also suggested earlier that we might already have something that affects the rift in some way. Should we try those before we leave? Apheori (GM): It goes in. Frezak: Dammit; I forgot that sometimes things go in and sometimes they don't, regardles off what they are. Ganelon: Things I have: RHU Maybe they go in if they're wetted with this watery thing? - A half digested light fixture (see "Rhu pockets the light fixture." in log) - An old journal from the better reality - A ceramic shingle from the Communist village - A string of beads left for us on the driving seat of the car Hey, Radek, do you want to try reading the journal again, now that Hazz'ridan has cleared our minds and allowed us to see the rift? Apheori (GM): Snrk. Ganelon: - Bombs - Vials of Alchemist's Fire - Magic Dust - Bodily Fluids of a Small Dragon Frezak: I have... Booze? Names, is my Booze Shalott or just booze? Ganelon: I consider all of those things valuable, so I don't want to just go tossing them into a hole-of-no-return all willy-nilly. Apheori (GM): The water continues to rise, and as someone predicted, finally hits the rift regardless of its vague attempts to avoid it. The rippling effect spreads through the water, filling it with odd shards of wrongness, as though the water itself took on the properties of the rift. Ganelon: And I guess I'll take a look at the journal, but I predict zero odds of success. Ooh, interesting. I want some of that too. Apheori (GM): Frezak: Your booze is magic potions you haven't identifies. And there's the shalott that went bad, but I dunno who had that. Ganelon: I told someone to take the bottle. Apheori (GM): You set aside the journal and get a sample of the weird water, though as it's detached from the rest it goes back to looking the same as ever. This may or may not mean anything. Ganelon: It means the world to me. As in "the world is doomed, oh gods". RHU This world seems to be doing okay for now. But whether that's because of the water or inspite of the water remains to be seen. THE GRAVEDIGGER We'd need to check out another hole. RHU Ooooh. I like this plan. The other idea I had was that we could bust up that glowing tree up there and see if anybody comes to fix it. Apheori (GM): At some point in all of this Rhu flew y'all out of the hole. I need you all to roll d20s. RADEK What is the tree doing? Ganelon: rolling 1d20 ( 3 ) = 3 RHU uh oh rolling d20 ( 7 ) = 7 Ganelon: I'm really not doing great with these. Gaurav: Gan: you just flew a robot through a rift into probably two separate alternate universes and tied us back into our starting storyline. I think you're allowed a couple of lousy rolls. The Gravedigger: rolling 1D20 ( 6 ) = 6 Ganelon: Good point. I love that little robot. Apheori (GM): Okay, so y'all feel the hole calling to you again, and getting stronger the more it fills. The water is full of shimmers. But it's not overpowering, and not compelling you to actually do anything. You just feel it and recognise it. RHU We should maybe get out of here. Apheori (GM): Although I must say, this could have been really, really bad. RHU Before it gets any stronger. RADEK Please do. Gaurav: What could? Apheori (GM): THIS. Apheori (GM) cackles. Rhu takes us 20ft into the air and drives us in the direction of the village. Gaurav: This roll? This tree? This rift? This the car? Apheori (GM): The situation. Nevermind. You see that weird bird with its sparkly things again. Frezak: Shoot the bird. Ganelon: I totally could, but why? Frezak: So we can take it's stuff. Might be money or gear. Apheori (GM): Also it's mutated. And like really big. Frezak: AND I WANT TO KILL THINGS. How big? Apheori (GM): Uh... Gaurav: We have gone awfully long time without attacking anything :-/ Apheori (GM): Maybe a few meters. Gaurav: ... I'm sure we could go back to the village and hunt like wild boar or something Apheori (GM): Actually I don't know. Frezak: I'm pretty sure that was not mentioned the first time we saw it. Apheori (GM): I can't remember. Frezak: I'm pretty sure I would not suggest attacking a bird that's bigger than I am. Gaurav: The log says: "It's very large, missing a bunch of feathers, and has too many limbs." Apheori (GM): Okay, it's probably not that big, but it does... look big. Frezak: FINE. We'll leave it alone >.> Apheori (GM): You're no fun. Gaurav: Is it near its nest? I think we saw its nest last time? Apheori (GM): It's sitting on a pile of shiny things. ...yes. RHU Hmm. Last time, we suggested that Griebel turn into a flock of birds and distract it while we value it's nest. We could try that again. Gaurav: I believe Frezak's exact words were "A flock of sexy mutant birds", so there's that. Ganelon: Hm... Apheori (GM): Unfortunately Greibel still seems to be out of it. Ganelon: Yeah, it'd be nice if BSG were actually here. Apheori (GM): Yes. Instead you have a pile of gently swaying seagulls in the back seat. Gaurav: o.0 Apheori (GM): And no use for them. Frezak: Would be nice to have an Azi >.> TO kill things. So... Back to the willage, then. Unless we want to just recon the area. Gaurav: Yeah, why not. Ganelon: To what, returning or recon? I will shoot this bird if that's what you guys want. Gaurav: Reconning. We have a car. At the village we're just going to tell tall tales of our adventures and get some sleep. Frezak: I don't think firing at a meter or two long bird is a good idea. Sleep? It's just afternoon, no? Apheori (GM): Right. Gaurav: We could just drive around and see if we spot anything. I assume that we've now driven around this area enough that we're unlikely to get lost. Frezak: Getting lost from the air is tough. Gaurav: Also true. Frezak: Yeah, let's just get an idea of what's where and see if we can spot any landmarks or stuff that might be interesting. Gaurav: Let's do it. Ganelon: Okay. Apheori (GM): YOU RECONOTATIFICISE! Rhu drives the car around the big tree in wide circles a couple of times, looking for anything interesting on the ground. Rhu: rolling d20+11 perception check ( 11 ) +11 = 22 Apheori (GM): There's a big dry river over there. Some mountains in the distance which look like they might have some real life on them. There's a whole lot of desert in the other direction. It's just dead and desolate and horrible and oh, look, dee-like things. deer Ganelon: Does it count as poaching if those laws were invented in the future? RHU are the deers several meters across? If not, we could hunt them. Apheori (GM): You also see a lot of windmills around the village you'd been at before. Apparently they hadn't had the sails up at the time. They look like... deer-like things. Frezak: yeah, we can just drive and have Radek shoot 'em. Apheori (GM): Deer-sized, at least. RHU It's only poaching if somebody already owns them. And it's only "getting caught for poaching" if you can't shoot your way out. Frezak: We can kill it. I'd have a good chance of telling whether it's edible. Ganelon: This would probably be fun if Radek weren't such a grump. Air-car hunting. Frezak: And /I/ know how to prepare food that doesn't come out of a tube/box/machine. I'll make the yee-haw shouts as needed. I need a hat. Apheori (GM): You could put the journal on your head. RHU NO! Who knows what deep secrets this journal may hide? We must treat it with respect. Ganelon: I TAKE AIM RADEK Intact body, right? Apheori (GM): This is your friendly nagging voice reminding you that my commendary is not necessarily worth commenting on. Also you might want to actually check those secrets at some point. ROLL AN ATTACK THINGY. THE GRAVEDIGGER Yeah. You can pop the head or bleed it out, though. Frezak: What DOES your gun fire? Ganelon: I'll read the journal when I can recast this language ritual. Frezak: Was it bullets or laser? Ganelon: I said as much when we first tried to read it. It was bullets, because they're modular. Ie: acid bullets, which I will not use on a deer. Frezak: Brill. Apheori (GM): Roll or something. Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle] rolling 1d20+3+5+0 ( 4 ) +3+5+0 = 12 BAH HUMBUG Apheori (GM): You missed. Ganelon: RELOAD. Frezak: I need spare axes. Ganelon: I need loaded dice. Frezak: I have a grappling hook and rope. Can i throw that? Because that's the perfect flying car hunting weapon. Apheori (GM): You totally can. XD Frezak: HERE GOES rolling 1D20+4 ( 16 ) +4 = 20 Ka-chung. Hello, lunch. RADEK Showoff. THE GRAVEDIGGER YEEEE-HAAAWWWW RHU :D Apheori (GM): You wind up with a kicking, screaming dear on your lap. Frezak: Oh no. It's hanging from the car. THE GRAVEDIGGER Pull up! Rhu pulls up Apheori (GM): Oh, where's the fun in that? Lap is where you want it. Frezak: I'll headbutt it to death then. Apheori (GM): Like what happens when you hit one on the road and it comes in the windshield... Snrk. Okay, so Rhu pulls it up and Gravy headbutts it todeath. Yeah, I can see this. Frezak: THose guys probably think that headbutting how hunters used to do it in the olden days :p "It's an ancient, accredited technique. Shut up." Apheori (GM): Yeah. So that happens. Ganelon: We have a dead deer-like. Apheori (GM): So you're in the car, sailing over the prairie, deer in your lap after headbutting it to death. And a pile of seagulls in the back seat. THE GRAVEDIGGER Now, a spot to gut and clean this. Any rivers? Apheori (GM): They all seem to be dry. Gaurav: Somebody needs to make a postcard with that image. "Greetings from that place we went to after Sarathi!" Ganelon: I can just imagine Radek looking really grumpy with his rifle over his shoulder. And deer blood all over Gravy's grinning face. Apheori (GM): Snrk. Frezak: Gravy's enjoying himself now. No rivers? Well, crud. Gaurav: We do know a pool with water-like stuff in it. Probably best to take it back to the village, though. They'll have water. Somewhere. Frezak: Sure. Gaurav: Unless you want to keep reconning I guess there's enough place to put a deer in the car? Frezak: We tie it to the front, of course. Ganelon: Well, we're missing one paladin worth of space. Gaurav: hah. this is true. someone give that deer a pair of dark glasses and lets keep exploring. I'd like to follow one of those dry river beds for a bit and see if we can find some outlet. Frezak: We could have it trail on a rope and tie one of the laser-proof capes to it. Ganelon: Works for me. Frezak: Yeah, find out where the water is. Apheori (GM): Which way do you head? Rhu drives the car to the closest dry river bed, then follow it downhill. Apheori (GM): Okay. You follow the riverbed through the plains and desert. It sort of randomly switches between the two. Then it gets like a canyon. Still dry, but deeper. Then it goes underground - you fly over a ridge and crap and find more canyon further down. There some water in it. A wee little trickle. Apheori (GM): Keep following? RHU Oooh! Yes. I think we'll follow the river for maybe two hours? See where we get to? That should give us enough time to get back. Frezak: Sure. We're in no rush, are we? Maybe flyby the hole when we head back, in case Azi reappeared. Else, yeah, just keep following this. Ganelon: We still have plenty of time before I can no longer speak to those villagers. We'd have to have stayed up throughout the entire night for that. Rhu drives us on for two hours since we started following the river. Apheori (GM): The river gets bigger, mountains sort of rise around it, it goes through some hills, snakes around some much greener area, and gets a whole lot larger very suddenly. RHU Pretty! No water, though? Apheori (GM): There's definitely water. There's a big old river, with tributaries and everything! You haven't reached where it dumps, though, no. Frezak: Maybe stop for a bit now to make dinner? Or lunch or whatever. Apheori (GM): FOOOD. Frezak: In-game. Apheori (GM): Okay. You want to roast your deer? RHU Might be a better idea to bring the deer back to the villagers. On the other hand, they might not like us hunting their deer. Frezak: Yeah, cut it up, wash it, get rid of the offall... Apheori (GM): It's totally around dinner time by now. Frezak: have some legs. Bring the rest back to the willage. Ganelon: I don't suppose I could just consume its soul, huh? RHU Oh yeah, that works. Ganelon: But, you know, not to be evil or anything. It's just easier to eat that way. RHU Less messy, too. Ganelon: Waste no part of the animal and all, y'know. Yeah, you've got the meat, bones, organs, and blood, but what about the life? That's where the old man comes in. Apheori (GM): Do you really consume souls of things? Ganelon: No, probably not. Apheori (GM): Aww. Gaurav: Wouldn't the soul have left the body when the deer died? Apheori (GM): Did you remember to cast soul trap first? Ganelon: It would require a spiritual view on life rather than a scientific one for Radek to think of extracting the... "being" of an animal and sustain himself with it. Apheori (GM): Ah, heh. Indeed. Well, you don't need me to roast deer, so I'ma grab some food too. Ganelon: More likely he'd just extract nutrients and discard the useless flesh afterwards. Gaurav: What would happen if you ate the soul of a creature without killing the body? The mind boggles. Chewy. Ganelon: I dunno. Frezak: In D&D? Ganelon: I mean, death of the body. Frezak: You just get a... mindless person. An awake but not concious body. Ganelon: Oh? Frezak: Yarr. Ganelon: I guess it couldn't really feed itself, though. Frezak: Nope. Gaurav: Creepy. Frezak: It'd just stand there. Or sit. Or whatever position it was in when you sucked the soul out. Ganelon: Well, anyway, that's what Radek does with his share of the kill. He efficiently sucks out everything strictly beneficial about it and injects himself with that, leaving an awful, flavorless slab of dry meat behind. Frezak: Ew. Ganelon: It's how I'd eat if I were able. Apheori (GM): XD That slab of meat would make for a good practical joke, I imagine. Frezak: It probably looks... icky. Grey. Dry. DEAD. Ganelon: "This... this is literally just matter." Frezak: It's the corpse of food. Ganelon: "How did you even manage to make a flank of meat so unappetizing?" Gaurav: Food corpse! Ganelon: "I'd be impressed if I weren't so underwhelmed by the taste. Even the texture is just... awful." Apheori (GM): And the rest of you? What do you all do? Frezak: I eat a leg of deerthing. Gaurav: Are we going to cook it first? Frezak: Sure. I thought we did. Gaurav: Then I too eat a leg of deerthing. Apheori (GM): It was unclear. Now it is clear. Ganelon: I guess we could feed the gulls, too. Frezak: With meat giblets? Ganelon: Are they even carnivores? Whatever, I'm sure Greibel can deal with it. Gaurav: Gulls are omnivores I think. Frezak: They are. Ganelon: Then yeah. We could even make a game out of it, assuming they were responsive enough to eat at all. Apheori (GM): They seem to be. They're just not acting at all... intelligent. Frezak: Yah, just throw them meatbits. Throw 'em deer thing bits and let's get exploratoring. RADEK Do you suppose his core intelligence was destroyed and we're simply feeding the instinct-driven remains of his "body"? The porridge: Or he could just be really stoned. Frezak: DAMN RHU I'm sure he'll be back. Once he remembers how. Frezak: SORRY MISCLICKED RADEK I've never paid much mind to druids. Frezak: That was Gravy >.> Gaurav: That could have been the very best interjection of all time :) Rhu continues driving us along the river until our two hours is up, then turns the car around and drives us back to the village. RADEK They're always going on about nature, like it holds secrets we haven't exhausted millennia ago. A worthless profession, druidism. Ganelon: Apologies to any druids in the audience who may be offended by my fictional character's opinions. THE GRAVEDIGGER Could be a passtime. RADEK For this one? Apheori (GM): Wait! Wait! RHU I don't know about that, Radek. A druid set up the little tree at the rift, and possibly also the waterlike thing. Maybe once we convince Greibel to unbirdify, we could get his opinion on the magic underlying them. Apheori (GM): If you keep going down the river, you find something. Do you keep going down the river after eating, or turn back? It's getting dark again. RHU Let's get back before it gets too dark. Frezak: If it's getting dark, we'll probably start heading back. Ganelon: Yeah, unless this is some very important clue. Even then, we could easily justify heading back to the one place with water again later. RHU Yes. And possibly with a human Greibel and a non-vanished Azir. Apheori (GM): Okay, you turn back. You don't even know how far you've gone, but whatever. You can do it again. Totally. Y'ALL SAIL OVER THE ARID LAND, OVER IT ALL LIKE A BIRD, MAN! ...sorry. Gaurav: Biiiiiiiiiiiiirdmaaaaaaan Apheori (GM): It's dark by the time you get back to where you found the deer. You see the lights of the village in the distance, and they seem to be the only lights around at all, though you couldn't even see where you were anymore... You head to the sinkhole? RHU Hmm. Do you think the lights will stay on long enough for us to find our way back? Of course, if we have to set up camp by the sinkhole or something, we can do that. Ganelon: Just for a peek. I'm not there to say hello to the hole. RHU Okay. Rhu drives us back to the sinkhole for a quick look Ganelon: How are things looking? Apheori (GM): ...glowing. Ganelon: Worse? The same? Apheori (GM): Seriously glowing. Gaurav: Jus thte little tree and the pool? Or something else also? Apheori (GM): I mean, as far as you can tell it's all back to the way it was when you first arrived... but in the darkness it's really glowing. The tree. The water. The air around it. Tendrils in the rocks around. As though the glow has been seeping through the ground and coming up in places... Ganelon: Very troublesome. Frezak: SORRY AZIR. GOOD LUCK. RHU He'll be back. And - and - and he'll be glowing. It'll be awesome. You'll see. Apheori (GM): No sign of Azir or the other bird. No sign of bones. But man, is it glowing. Frezak: can Radek learn anything about this? Ganelon: From where we are? Apheori (GM): The glowing stuff is in the air. Sort of like mist, some blowing away in the evening breeze, bot mostly just lingering. You could totally fly into some of it. RADEK Get me closer. In the air is fine. Bear Soup Guy is here >_< Rhu drives the car closer Frezak: BEAR SOUP GUY Ganelon: rolling 1d20+10 Arcana ( 19 ) +10 = 29 RHU If Greibel was around, we could get him to look at the shining tree branch and see if he can work out what druidic magic made it. But alas ... Rhu motions at the flock of seagulls in the back of the car Bear Soup Guy: XD Apheori (GM): BSG: Greibel is seagulls. Has been for awhile. Nobody knows what's wrong. The question is... what is wrong? YOU PUSHED THIS QUESTION. Wen: He fell asleep when the birds did. okay I'll shut up now >_> Bear Soup Guy: Clearly he came into contact with...bad fumes...from the transformation of the porridge...yessssss..... Ganelon: Radek theorized that you lost the bird that was your druid-swarm-control-cluster and thus became a flock of unintelligent birds. Apheori (GM): Radek: Arcana says it's totally... nothing. Gaurav: Rasputin the Porridge has been nursing you back from health after your encounter with the tree. Apheori (GM): It says it doesn't exist. Bear Soup Guy: :O yay porridge ^_^ Apheori (GM): Greibel lost a gull. Poor gull. Frezak: Could it be an illusion? Fake light? Gaurav: rolling 1d20+7 religion check: I pray silently to Hazz'ridan and ask for any idea about what all the shining is about. ( 19 ) +7 = 26 Bear Soup Guy: YOU ARE GOD RELIGION EYES RADEK This is... Ganelon: Can I attempt to cast magic while in this zone? I am worried it may be impossible. Gaurav: BSG: dude you have no idea. Get back into human form so I can tell you of all the wondrous encounters I have had with my god this day. Apheori (GM): Rhu: Hazz says to keep asking questions. Don't ignore it. Zone? You mean this general area? You can totally attempt to cast magic. Bear Soup Guy: Okie dokie Ganelon: Yeah. Just to see if I can. Bear Soup Guy: Suddenly Greibel's seagulls melt together and turn into Greibel? Apheori (GM): Suddenly, Greibel! Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20 Gaurav: A wild Greibel appears! Bear Soup Guy: rolling 1d20 ( 18 ) = 18 Apheori (GM): Greibel: You have a headache, you don't really know what's going on, and you feel... disjoint. Like you're not really there. You're not really anywhere else, but you're not really entirely there, either. RHU GREIBEL! GREIBEL Hmmmmmmmmm...? Apheori (GM): Greibel: You feel a sense of... cheese? And ice. And hear the crash of waves... before it fades away into a whisper in the back of your mind... Greibel rubs his head THE GRAVEDIGGER Oh, hey Greibel. Apheori (GM): Gan: Magic works. Greibel licks his lips at the thought of ice cheese Radek sighs in relief. Apheori (GM): What did you try to do? RHU GREIBEL you're not ... vegetarian, are you? GREIBEL What an interesting question to ask... Bear Soup Guy: brb Ganelon: I can suck the heat out of the area around someone (it's not harmful to them, merely things nearby) or blast stuff away from them with... sound. The former seems safer. And less noisy. Apheori (GM): Okay. Ganelon: For an artificer, Radek is pretty heavy on the mechanical side as opposed to the magical one. He uses bullets and robots far more than raw magic. Frezak: I... have a shovel. Apheori (GM): Only one? Ganelon: You're also damn near impossible to kill. I consider that important. Frezak: I have no magic! BUT IT CAN TAKE THIS TRUCK TO MY FACE *thud* Ow. Apheori (GM): It? Frezak: Eh, I can't type for toffee. Apheori (GM): Ah. Dammit, BSG... Gaurav: Who's offering toffee for typing? Tell me more. Frezak: I cannot. I'm bound by mystic oaths. Also a guy said he's shoot me if I told. Gaurav: Some day I shall learn these secrets for myself. Frezak: And then get shot. Apheori (GM): Getting shot is part of life. So what do you guys do? Ganelon: Go back to the village. Apheori (GM): You head back. Everyone's inside. Ganelon: I'll have to explain to the innkeeper that I won't be speaking her language, literally, when we wake up. Frezak: TO THE INN. Rhu locks the car up for the night and heads to the inn. Ganelon: And unless she has a big storeroom full of magic junk for me to destroy, I likely won't be able to afford fixing that. RHU Who's bringing in the deer? Frezak: I'll carry the remaning deer bits. Have Radek explain that they're for the kitchen if she can do anything with it. And hope to FUCK there's no taboo against killing deerthings here. Apheori (GM): Snrk. Bear Soup Guy: SORRY SORRY My mom was telling me about important stuff Apheori (GM): Eh, what's the worst that could happen? Bear Soup Guy: I'm back now Apheori (GM): BSG: Is Greibel a vegetarian? Gaurav: We have to kill an entire village to escape? Bear Soup Guy: Ah yes, the question Frezak: yeah, I just spade dudes to death. Gaurav: We might want to leave the deer in the car and have Radek ask the innkeeper first. Who knows, maybe it is taboo but she'd like a bit all the same ... GREIBEL To Rhu: Well, I talk to animals and, like, turn into them I tried eating meat after that but it was just too weird Frezak: Gravy will avert his eyes. RHU GREIBEL Ah. Okay. Never mind. Forget I asked. Frezak: And find some interesting dust to look at; GREIBEL (groggily) Forget you asked what? THE GRAVEDIGGER LOOK! DUST! Rhu pats Greibel on the back as we walk into the inn Apheori (GM): Some dust blows down the street. Y'all enter. Some folks are loitering around the common room again, but not so many as the previous night. Evening. Thing. Frezak: Timeplacewhatsit. Thingummy. Gaurav: Afterafternoon Apheori (GM): A guy raises his mug at ye. The inkeeper raises an eyebrow. RADEK ''Good evening.'' Frezak: I'll wave at the mug dude. Rhu looks around for the two villagers from this morning The innkeeper: Evening to ye. Didn't expect you back so soon, but I suppose that skiff of yours had something to do with that, didn't it? Or did you make it? Ganelon: As in build or accomplish? Apheori (GM): Accomplish. What's the check to notice things? RHU Perception Ganelon: Insight for people, otherwise that. RHU You can assume that we are continuously perception-ing at 10+(perception modifier) Apheori (GM): Why are people special? Gaurav: Because Perception comes from Wisdom. Insight comes from Charisma, i.e. how well you can read people. Ganelon: Actually Insight is also wisdom. Gaurav: oh no, insight is also wisdom never mind Ganelon: But it's a different skill. Apheori (GM): Weird. Ganelon: Perception is noticing literal details. Sights, sounds, etc. Apheori (GM): Hey Rhu, you notice you can understand her! Ganelon: Insight is reading emotions and making sense of those details you already see. Stuff like that. RHU That's not a "skiff", it's a very fine shi-- hey! I can understand you now! The innkeeper: Clearly. Frezak: MAGIC Gaurav: Gan: see? That sounds charisma-ish to me! The innkeeper leans forward. The innkeeper: So you all magically speak this now? This is new. Frezak: Do we? Ganelon: Well, intimidate doesn't scale off of strength. Try explaining that. Frezak: Or is it just the religious dude? Apheori (GM): Apparently. RADEK I had no part in this. Apheori (GM): Nope, you all do. Frezak: Huh. RHU Hmm. If it is a gift of the great Hazz'ridan, then maybe Greibel won't have it, since he was a flock of seagulls at the time? RADEK However, we did investigate that hole, even lost the paladin to it. Rhu takes the old journal out of my bag to see if I can understand that, too. Apheori (GM): Hazz is smarter than that. GREIBEL ^ RADEK I can say with certainty that it must be closed. The innkeeper: Lost? RADEK He's gone. Vanished. No traces. RHU He'll be back. I'm sure of it. GREIBEL (whispers incredulously to Rhu) Weren't these people speaking other gibberish before? RADEK I even sent a drone in to search for him. You might be interested to know that there is, in fact, another side. The innkeeper: I'm sorry to hear that. So four drinks it is. THE GRAVEDIGGER Drinks? Drinks! The innkeeper pours some very small mugs of stuff for everyone. RADEK Just three. I don't require nourishment. RHU (whispers back) You are not going to believe what happened at the rift! Hazz'ridan spoke to us and cleared our minds! He spoke to me in my head! He seemed lost and confused. The innkeeper: Do tell. Oh, love, it's not about requirements. Just try it. You won't regret a thing. THE GRAVEDIGGER Hey, do you want these meat bits? Rhu uses his body language to show disappointment at the tinyness of the mugs, but helps himself anyway. GREIBEL (whispers back) Hazz'ridan, the God of dead ends, lost and confused. Who woulda thought? Apheori (GM): One of the other guys at the bar says, quietly, "You'll just regret several other things." RADEK Liquids have not passed my lips in decades, ma'am. The innkeeper: Your loss. RADEK And recently I seem to have even transcended a need for oxygen. The innkeeper drinks Radek's for him. The innkeeper: Me eyes Gravy's meat. Ganelon: Yeah, he's kind of a big chrome spoilsport. The innkeeper: How much have you got? RHU (whispers back) Every ending is another beginning. Hazz'ridan is at our side. We have a new goal now: to close the rift on this world. We cannot fail! Apheori (GM): Rhu: You realise you're drunk. THE GRAVEDIGGER Most of the animal. Minus what we had for lunch. RHU I'm not drunk, I am perspfectly sober. The innkeeper brinks. The innkeeper: Well, you've been busy. Sure, I'll take it. How much you asking? RHU I know exactly what I'm sayin' and to whom I am sayin' and to what I ... how much for another one, these are delicious. The innkeeper pours Rhu another. The Gravedigger shrugs. The innkeeper: Today's on the house. GREIBEL (to the others since Rhu is in a less whispery mood now) So how do we close this "rift" thing? RHU Good lady, you are t-- ... you are t--- ... THE GRAVEDIGGER Whatever you want, it wasn't any trouble. The innkeeper: I'll give you ten. And do drink up. THE GRAVEDIGGER Sure. Frezak: I'll examine the drink. Rhu is now examining the bartop with great interest Apheori (GM): The drink is brown, almost reddish. It's very small, but you can't actually see the bottom of the mug. THE GRAVEDIGGER So what IS this? Ganelon: Just to be polite, I'll actually take some of this drink in a syringe. Because injecting alcohol straight into your bloodstream is how the pros do it, kids. Don't try this at home. The innkeeper pours Rhu another, almost grinning. The innkeeper: Shalott! The proper stuff, rather. Frezak: i'm mostly watching Rhu get hammered. The innkeeper: Not like went bad and made your friend's... friend. Frezak: I'll drink my cup of stuff. The innkeeper eyes the porridge, which climbed back onto Greibel's shoulder. RHU HUH? HUH? I HEARD mnamesomesbdit. The innkeeper pours another, mixing in from a different jug. Frezak: And hope my being a seven foot slab of meat prevents me from going runny like the skinny avenger there. Gaurav: Oh, is Rasputin the Porridge still with us? Awesome. Apheori (GM): Yeah, it doesn't hit you like it hit him. It's more just... kind of nice and fuzzy. So how does this syringe thing work? Gaurav: Rhu's had a big day. Good for him. Ganelon: Like any medical syringe. Frezak: INjecting booze right into your blood? YOU MADMAN. You're gonna DIE. Apheori (GM): So you want the lady to put booze in a syringe? Ganelon: If the lady wants me to enjoy it, yes Frezak: Im' not joking by the way. The innkeeper takes the syringe skeptically. The innkeeper eyes it. Ganelon: Because it bypasses my liver, I assume? The innkeeper eyes Radek. Ganelon: That probably isn't functioning any longer. RADEK ...What? It's efficient. Frezak: yep. Gaurav: Yeah, alcohol + no liver --> bad idea The innkeeper: If this kills you, I take no responsibility. Unfortunately you've gone and got my interest, and the whole floor's watching... THE GRAVEDIGGER Me lays a hand on Radek. If you die. I'll bury you. Rhu starts mumbling a dirty song The innkeeper mixes a very small amount of dark stuff with some other stuff and waters it down a bit and adds some other stuff and pours a bit into the syringe... The innkeeper: I can't think of anything dramatic to say. The innkeeper hands it over. RADEK Fear not. Apheori (GM): Several of the villagers boo. RADEK With this, I prove my own immortality. Ganelon: He is not immortal. Apheori (GM): Snrk. Some of the villagers are now cheering him on. Wen: two deaths in one day might not be the best thing >_> Apheori (GM): Urging him to do it. Do it! Wen: Ah, but your guy ain't dead! Radek injects the mixture into his arm. Apheori (GM): ...probably. There's a long silence. Wen takes on the role of the one guy muttering and shaking his head in the crowd Apheori (GM): Radek neglects to fall over dead. RADEK Keh heh heh. Apheori (GM): He does get a bit dizzy and weird feeling, though. RADEK Told you sooo--whoah. The Gravedigger cheers and pats Radek on the back. Apheori (GM): Everyone starts clapping and cheering. RADEK I had forgotten what this feels like. GREIBEL Huh....weird. Rhu bangs the table a few times The innkeeper pushes Greibel another. Greibel looks at it for a moment Greibel start sipping it slowly Ganelon: Aw yeah, getting the smart guy drunk. Apheori (GM): Gravy: You standing or sitting? Frezak: Male bonding coming right up. I'm... standing behind Radek right now. Apheori (GM): Well, standing behind you is that large guy from before. Both of your heads are kind of grazing the ceiling. He's very close, and you realise someone is there... Frezak: I'll turn around and give him a look. Of the "what?" variety. Wen: uhh, is it just me or did Gan and Gaurav disappear? Gaurav: Nope, still here. Wen: o_O okay. Ganelon: Don't trust the names. Frezak: The are deceit. *the names are deceit Wen: well, carry on. Wen watches with interest Ganelon: I want to know what's up with this guy guy. Big guy, rather. Apheori (GM): Right, sorry. The guy says, "Hi." Ganelon: And also wrap things up because the hunger only intensifies. Apheori (GM): My toe was bleeding all over the place. Wen: >< THE GRAVEDIGGER "Hello? Something you need?" Ganelon: And I'm going to be prying off noodles that have been frozen together for at least 10 minutes. Also yeesh, hope you're okay. Apheori (GM): The guy says nothing. Frezak: I'm just gonna stare blankly for a bit. Apheori (GM): He stares blankly as well. THE GRAVEDIGGER "Oookayyy. Good luck with that." Frezak: And turn back round and see how Radek is coping. Ganelon: Happily muttering obscure formulae to nobody in particular. Apheori (GM): The innkeeper looks really proud of herself for that. Frezak: I take it that I cannot brofist the innkeep. Rhu notices the muttered formulae, tries to figure out how the song goes, fails. Returns to persuing the bartop. Ganelon: Song? No, these are formulas of SCIENCE! Frezak: He doesn't know that :p Ganelon: They describe the laws of the universe! And also how to break them! It is the fundamental theory of magic! Maybe! Apheori (GM): So Rhu and Radek are drunk. Eeeeexcellent. Greibel and Gravy ain't entirely so. RHU NOT DRUNK VOLTING Frezak: Gravy will not get more than buzzed. Apheori (GM): The innkeeper wants you to drink more. Frezak: Someone has to keep watch over these madmen. Because they're men. And maaaad Apheori (GM): They ain't even doing anything. Terribly boring drunks, they are. Frezak: THey're mumbling and muttering and stuff. I don't think they have Drunk Proficiency. I'll get busy telling Greibel everything that happened. With undrunk details. Apheori (GM): The guy is still standing behind you. Ganelon: Just wait. Once Radek decides it's time to get to work, you won't think he's a boring drunk any longer. Just a dangerous madmen who should never be allowed near his own tools. Madman, rather. Apheori (GM): He isn't normally? Ganelon: Hey! Bear Soup Guy: People keep calling me on the phone and talking to me and asking stuff about things Ganelon: I haven't USED these bombs I made. Yet. Bear Soup Guy: I think Greibel's going to turn in early with a nice buzz Apheori (GM): Silly people. Rhu has fallen asleep on the bar top. Frezak: I'll pick Rhu up. And give the Innkeep a coin. If I haven't already. Apheori (GM): You sorted out the money with the deer thing, I think. Did you ever drag that in? Frezak: I thought I came in with it. Gaurav: I think so, yes. Apheori (GM): Right, so that's all sorted. You have more money, some of you are drunk, and the beds await if you need them. Frezak: I tihnk we do. Apheori (GM): But the guy is still standing right behind you. Frezak: I'm gonna ignore him because he is creepy and I don't feel like burying anyone tonight. Apheori (GM): So you just sort of bounce off him. And push past? Gaurav: Bouncy giants. Frezak: Bounce off him? Apheori (GM): Unlike you, he's a little blubbery. Ganelon: I'll follow these guys up, but as usual, I've no intentions of sleeping. Frezak: But why do I have to bounce off him? Ganelon: I have a new eyebot to construct! Frezak: I can just walk around him, no? Bear Soup Guy: EYEBOT Apheori (GM): Frezak: Because he was entirely too close, and massive. Frezak: I'm just gonna move around him. Apheori (GM): You do walk around him, but... he's really close. Yeah. Frezak: Well he's gonna get whacked by the Rhu over my shoulders if he doesn't move. Apheori (GM): He doesn't move, and gets whacked. He still doesn't move. He looks... confused. Frezak: Not my problem. I have an Avenger to settle. Rhu wakes up RHU Huh? Wha? Wh? THE GRAVEDIGGER You're going to bed, little man. Ganelon: http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/7744/68rocket16.jpg This is the eyebot. RHU Hmf. No. Not sleepy. Five more minutes. THE GRAVEDIGGER Shhhhh. Frezak: And I'm gonna go dump him on a bed. Rhu mumbles, puts my thumb in my mouth and goes back to sleep Gaurav: That is one awesome eyebot! Frezak: I'll have him bunk with Radek. Actually. he can go with Greibel. i'll go with RAdek since he doesn't sleep. Ganelon: He's a diligent guard. Except for the part where he pays no attention. Frezak: Radek? I picture him being in his own little world of science. Yeah, that. So I'll leave him with Greibel. And then check my gear and go to sleep. Rhu snuggles into bed and falls asleep
