Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 11"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<pre>
<screenplay>
Apheori (GM): HI.
EXT. Vacant lot - night
Ganelon: Hello.
 
Apheori (GM): YOU ALL ARE IN A VACANT LOT. RHU DISAPPEARED, GRAVY DUG A HOLE, AND YOU FOUND A CONE.
Radek is in the hole disenchanting the sand from the cone. He pockets a few items he finds in the process.
What am I missing?
 
Gaurav: ... an ice-cream cone?
The Gravedigger is still busy burying the cat bones when Rhu suddenly falls out of the air, landing flat on his face by Greibel.
Finally, some treasure.
 
Apheori (GM): Strange dark sand and a cat skeleton were in the cone, and Radek is now disenchanting it.
A large winged cat, the sphinx, pokes its head up behind him and then perches on Rhu's butt.
Also Rhu just fell out of the air behind Greibel.
 
Ganelon: Well, I'm disenchanting the sand.
RHU
Rhu falls out of the air and lands flat on his face
Oof.
Ganelon: The cone was from an old, old rocket.
 
Gaurav: Is this vacant lot sandy or soily or grassy or dusty? I forget.
Greibel looks around.
Apheori (GM): There is a winged cat sitting on Rhu.
 
It's grassy and dusty and has some random junk and weeds.
GREIBEL
Ellemerr: Oooh. That's probably my cue to NOT come on.
Guys! I found the winged cat!
Apheori (GM): You don't like winged cats?
 
Ellemerr: I love winged cats.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Good!
Shut up and let me work.
Wait...
 
Oh, whatever. Do whatever you feel like.
Greibel waves at Rhu, who doesn't even move.
Ellemerr: I will.
 
Gaurav: It's worth mentioning that the winged cat is, like, 2-3 ft tall at the shoulder. This isn't an adorable little furball.
RHU
(From Ellemerr): Unless you have something that I *ought* to do. For plot or whatnot.
...so on the plus side, Hazz'ridan says he'll help us find a solution to this hole trouble we're having. On the minus side, I don't think he knows how.
Rhu: Oof.
(to Greibel)
(From Ellemerr): If I do come on, though, I assume either the Cat or I will notice one another. Or both.
Well, you're still there. That's progress, I guess.
(From Ellemerr): Recognize. I mean.
 
Greibel looks around
GREIBEL
Greibel: Guys! I found the winged cat!
Hazz sounds a little confused for a God.
(To Ellemerr): Cat probably won't. It's not terribly smart, or at least not very aware. You might, but... you can do whatever.
 
Radek: Shut up and let me work.
(To Ellemerr): Basically it just followed Rhu out of the City of Death.
(From Ellemerr): Well, damn. Poor Rhu.
Gaurav: Would it be possible to put the cone down on the map? I'd like to see where Greibel is relative to Radek and Gravy in the hole and me on my face.
(To Ellemerr): Wait, was there a winged cat earlier? Why did he say 'the'?
(To Ellemerr): Oh crap. >.>
Ganelon: Spatial relations?
You've just gotta use your spatial imaginations, man.
Apheori (GM): Something like that.
Gaurav: Thanks!
Apheori (GM): Maybe not so far away.
Basically Greibel was just off to the side.
Rhu opens one eye, sees Greibel.
Rhu blinks, then closes his eyes again and rests his weary head on the ground for a moment.
Greibel waves at Rhu
Rhu: (eyes still closed, to Greibel) ... so on the plus side, Hazz'ridan says he'll help us find a solution to this hole trouble we're having. On the minus side, I don't think he knows how.
(To Rhu): The world crashed back. All the exhaustion, the confusion, the time spent outside of time sits on your butt like the weight of the world.
(To Rhu): Wait, no, that's a cat.
(From Rhu): A sphinx! Waaaaaaay cooler.
(From Rhu): and unfortunately heavier
Rhu opens his eyes an inch again
Ganelon: Given how rituals generally involve concentrated chanting, don't expect any contribution until Radek gets done.
Apheori (GM): Don't insult Hazz!
Rhu: (to Greibel) Well, you're still there. That's progress, I guess.
Apheori (GM): Or do, but...
Apheori (GM) starts cackling.
Greibel: Hazz sounds a little confused for a God
Amadi: Psh. Not hardly.
Amadi rolls her eyes at Griebel and yawns.
Rhu looks at Greibel, wondering if it's worth engaging with him on the off chance that he turns into a tentacle.
Rhu looks at Greibel, wondering if it's worth engaging with him on the off chance that he turns into a tentacle.
Gaurav: So where's Amadi relative to us?
 
Apheori (GM): I'd say floating three feet in the air...
Amadi appears about a metre behind Greibel, floating about a metre off the ground, and rolls her eyes at them and yawns.
Ellemerr: YES
 
Behind you.
AMADI
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Psh. Not hardly.
Ellemerr: Three feet behind. And three up.
 
Gaurav: oh good. Rhu doesn't see her yet.
Rhu tries to get up, realises there's a cat on him, and then collapses back down.
Rhu starts to rise, which is when he notices that a large winged cat is sitting on his butt
 
Rhu: (to cat) Excuse me.
RHU
(To Ellemerr): Also for Amadi, Hazz is very large, and in many places, like a big mass with tentacles sticking into different universes. She needn't say anything about that, but just for reference in case I never mentioned it.
(to cat)
A sphinx: Storiessss.
Excuse me.
Greibel: Huh...
 
Ganelon: "Excuse me" has never once in all of recorded history been enough to move a cat from its resting position, has it?
SPHINX
Apheori (GM): The cat's a sphinx.
Storiessss.
Rhu: I'd say you're getting to live out a pretty exciting story, but I'll be glad to tell you another one if you'll ... *makes a get-off-my-butt motion*
 
Apheori (GM): Right, never.
GREIBEL
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Huh...
Gaurav: Not when they're sleepy, but an awake cat is glad to be politely asked for things.
 
RHU
I'd say you're getting to live out a pretty exciting story, but I'll be glad to tell you another one if you'll...
 
Rhu indicates for the sphinx to maybe get off him.
 
The sphinx moves up Rhu's back and settles on his head.
The sphinx moves up Rhu's back and settles on his head.
Rhu: ...
 
Ganelon: Yeah, this is an accurate depiction of a cat for sure.
Rhu tucks his feet under him, then reaches up to steady the sphinx while getting to his feet, cat and all.
Rhu tucks his feet under him, then reaches up to steady the sphinx while getting to his feet, cat and all.
Greibel claps in appreciation of Rhu's difficult task
 
The sphinx digs in its claws.
The sphinx digs in its claws, but Rhu doesn't stop. He winds up with the sphinx balanced precariously with one foot on his shoulder and the rest on his head.
Rhu pauses midrise with a pained look on his face
 
Rhu continues standing up. He is now standing up with a sphinx balanced precariously with one foot on his shoulder and the rest on his head.
Greibel claps.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Finish whenever you feel like and roll something for me pretty please.
 
Rhu: ... I don't suppose you're comfortable up there.
Amadi blinks a little, nods her head sleepily, and then disappears again.
Amadi blinks a little, nods her head sleepily and disappears again.
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Rhu: d20s please
RHU
Rhu: (to Greibel) He's from the City of the Death. He followed me here. Can we keep him?
...I don't suppose you're comfortable up there.
Greibel:
(to Greibel)
rolling 1d20
He's from the City of the Death. He followed me here. Can we keep him?
(
 
11
GREIBEL
)
No reason I should have a pet if you can't.
=
 
11
Greibel nuzzles Rasputin.
Rhu: Dead*
 
rolling d20
AMADI
(
You don't - don't keep...
13
 
)
=
13
Greibel: No reason I should have a pet if you can't
Amadi: You don't - don't keep...
Ganelon: Something?
A d20?
Greibel nuzzles Rasputin
Apheori (GM): Sure.
Amadi yawns again. She's standing on solid ground this time.
Amadi yawns again. She's standing on solid ground this time.
Amadi: It keeps you.
 
Ganelon:
AMADI
rolling 1d20
It keeps you.
(
 
4
Greibel makes mock ghost noises and waves his arms around at Amadi's insinuation.
)
 
=
4
Daaaamn.
The sphinx jumps down and walks up to Amadi.
The sphinx jumps down and walks up to Amadi.
Greibel makes mock ghost noises and waves his arms around at Amadi's insinuation
 
Rhu heard that. He whirls around -- luckily, seconds after the sphinx jumped out -- and then looks at Amadi like he's never seen her before.
Rhu whirls around and stares at Amadi like he's never seen her before.
Rhu: You -- you were -- in the other place.
 
Apheori (GM): You got 372g worth of dust. If that's reasonable.
RHU
Ganelon: 'Tis.
You... you were... in the other place.
Amadi: No no. That wasn't me.
 
Ganelon: Thank you.
AMADI
No no. That wasn't me.
 
Amadi shakes her head groggily.
Amadi shakes her head groggily.
Frezak (GM): What Sphinx?
 
The sphinx rubs against Amadi's legs.
The sphinx rubs against Amadi's legs.
Rhu squints as if he's trying to remember something
Rhu squints as if he's trying to remember something
Gaurav: FREZAK!
 
Ellemerr: Rhu fell out of the sky with a sphinx.
Amadi gives the sphinx a reproachful look.
Gaurav: hullo
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu just fell out of the sky with a sphinx on his butt.
AMADI
Bah, too slow.
Why did you wake me? I liked that dream.
Gaurav: Apheori: you make him (her?) sound like a fashion accessory
 
Amadi gives the sphinx a reproachful look. "Why did you wake me? I liked that dream."
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Gravy will shrug and get back to burying the cat bones.
Rocket's clear, guys - is that Rhu?
Radek: Rocket's clear, guys- is that Rhu?
 
Rhu: Oh, hey, Radek. *waves*
RHU
The sphinx: Dreams are storieessss.
Oh, hey, Radek.
Amadi: No, it's Jem.
 
Oh, THAT guy.
The Gravedigger shrugs and wanders over, done with his burying.
No, that's not Rhu either.
 
Radek: I thought you were devoured. And possibly exploded.
SPHINX
Rhu: He needs a name. Unless he's a she. In which case she needs a name.
Dreams are storieessss.
Amadi: This cheeky bastard woke me for breakfast!
 
The Gravedigger: You owe me some rope.
AMADI
No, it's Jem. Oh, THAT guy. No, that's not Rhu either.
 
RHU
He needs a name. Unless he's a she. In which case she needs a name.
 
RADEK
I thought you were devoured. And possibly exploded.
 
AMADI
This cheeky bastard woke me for breakfast!
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You owe me some rope.
 
The sphinx hisses at Gravy.
The sphinx hisses at Gravy.
Rhu: I fell onto a beach. Then things went weird for a long while. There was the bit with the tentacles, and then the city of the dead and ... Kyral? Kurul? Something?
 
Then she showed up *points at Amadi*
RHU
The sphinx: KYRULE!
I fell onto a beach. Then things went weird for a long while. There was the bit with the tentacles, and then the city of the dead and... Kyral? Kurul? Something?
(he points at Amadi)
Then she showed up.
 
SPHINX
(hissing)
KYRULE!
 
The sphinx cowers away.
 
The Gravedigger gives the sphinx a blank stare.
The Gravedigger gives the sphinx a blank stare.
The sphinx cowers away.
 
Rhu snaps his finger
Rhu snaps his finger.
The sphinx hisses.
 
Rhu: That's the one. Thank you, sphinx. Do you have a name?
RHU
The sphinx: No namess.
That's the one. Thank you, cat. Do you have a name?
 
SPHINX
No namess. Names eaten. Devoured.
 
Amadi scratches the spinx absent-mindedly behind the ears.
Amadi scratches the spinx absent-mindedly behind the ears.
The sphinx: Names eaten. Devoured.
 
Rhu: (actually, make that "large cat", since Rhu doesn't know what he's called yet)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: What a bout a title?
What a bout a title? Nick-name? Serial number? Rank?
Nick-name?
 
Serial number?
RHU
Rhu: Devourer is a nice name for a cat.
Devourer is a nice name for a cat.
The Gravedigger: Rank?
 
The sphinx: Sphinxess.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Devourer sounds a bit ominous, given all the holes.
Devourer sounds a bit ominous, given all the holes.
The sphinx: They call us that. The devoured. The eaten.
 
Rhu: Sphinx is also a nice name for a cat.
RHU
The Gravedigger: If an eaten thing calls you something.... sounds like shit talking.
Are you kidding? it's an adorable name! "Devourer". I wonder if he hunts mice.
Ganelon: Do any of us know about sphinxes?
 
Frezak (GM): BADUM TSSSSH
SPHINX
The sphinx: And the storiesss. Gone.
Sphinxess.
Greibel: How about...Lardball ^_^
 
Rhu: Are you kidding, it's an adorable name! "Devourer". I wonder if he hunts mice.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Amadi might!
Sphinx is also a nice name for a cat.
But... uh.. no.
 
Amadi: Yeah... I guess you must be hungry. 'Twas still not nice to wake me.
SPHINX
Frezak (GM): Wait, you got two breakfasts?
They call us that. The devoured. The eaten. And the storiesss. Gone.
Rhu: (then, looking worried) Actually, the mysterious woman said they eat ... elves, I guess? So we should probably keep an eye on him ... or her?
 
Rhu attempts to determine if the sphinx is male or female
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The sphinx: Eats stories.
If an eaten thing calls you something... sounds like shit talking.
Hungry.
 
Amadi nods.
GREIBEL
Amadi: So very hungry.
How about... Lardball.
Greibel: Does anybody know a good story?
 
Rhu:
AMADI
rolling d20+7 nature check
Yeah... I guess you must be hungry. 'Twas still not nice to wake me.
(
 
12
RHU
)
(looking worried)
+7
Actually, the mysterious woman said they eat... elves, I guess? So we should probably keep an eye on him... or her?
=
 
19
Rhu tries to look at the underside of the sphinx to figure out which it is, but it appears to be genderless.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx appears to be genderless.
 
Rhu: Oh, right, you said. Hmm. Have you heard about the Great War?
SPHINX
Frezak (GM): THE GREAT WAR
Eats stories. Hungry.
Gaurav: Was that Gravy?
 
The sphinx: So many...
AMADI
Frezak (GM): No, that was me.
(nodding)
The Gravedigger: I know some stories. If I tell one, do I get it back?
So very hungry.
The sphinx: Back?
 
The Gravedigger: Because i'm not going to lose a story for some cat.
GREIBEL
Greibel nudges Gravy "Tell a story you never liked in the first place."
Does anybody know a good story?
The sphinx: No back. Never a back. Can't go back.
 
RHU
Oh, right, you said. Hmm. Have you heard about the Great War?
 
SPHINX
So many...
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I know some stories. If I tell one, do I get it back? Because I'm not going to lose a story for some cat.
 
SPHINX
Back? No back. Never a back. Can't go back.
 
GREIBEL
(he nudges Gravy)
Tell a story you never liked in the first place.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't remember any stories I didn't like. That would be silly. I remember the good ones.
 
Amadi sits down just a few centimetres off the ground and picks up the sphinx to put it in her lap.
Amadi sits down just a few centimetres off the ground and picks up the sphinx to put it in her lap.
The Gravedigger: I don't remember any stories I didn't like.
 
That would be silly.
The sphinx sticks its face in Amadi's.
I remember the good ones.
 
The sphinx sticks its face in Amadi's face.
Amadi rolls her eyes and pushes the cat's face away, taking up scratching its chin again.
Radek: Once upon a time.
 
Rhu wanders over to the cone.
 
AMADI
(muttering)
Yeah yeah. Hungry.
 
RADEK
Once upon a time.
 
The sphinx whirls around and stares at Radek.
The sphinx whirls around and stares at Radek.
The Gravedigger: What.
 
Radek: A genius scientist invented something new, as part of one of his experiments.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: There was a mummy diode and a daddy diode.
What.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
Amadi rolls her eyes and pushes the cat's face away, taking up scratching its chin again. "Yeah yeah. Hungry," she mutters, slightly less sullen.
RADEK
Gaurav: Damnit. Now I need to hear the story of the diodes.
A genius scientist invented something new, as part of one of his experiments.
The sphinx looks back between Radek and Gravy.
 
Radek: He had been speaking to a strange creature which called itself a sphinx, and claimed to eat stories, but had no way of telling if it was true.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There was a mummy diode and a daddy diode.
 
The sphinx looks back and forth between Radek and the Gravedigger hungrily.
 
RADEK
He had been speaking to a strange creature which called itself a sphinx, and claimed to eat stories, but had no way of telling if it was true.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The diodes wanted a baby.
 
RADEK
So he invented one, and fed it to the sphinx.
So he invented one, and fed it to the sphinx.
The Gravedigger: The diodes wanted a baby.
 
Ganelon: Do I need to declare an end?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: But they couldn't have one because they were diodes.
But they couldn't have one because they were diodes. So they hatched a plan instead.
So they hatched a plan instead.
 
Ellemerr: Yes. When a story starts with "Once upon a time" it needs an end.
"The end." should suffice.
The sphinx hiss-barks at Radek.
The sphinx hiss-barks at Radek.
Rhu meanwhile wanders over to the hole to see what is going on there.
 
Gaurav: Is the cat skeleton still visible?
RADEK
Radek: The end.
The end.
Apheori (GM): Gravy buried it.
 
Frezak (GM): WITH GREAT SKILL
The sphinx puts its ears back, then stares hungrily at Gravy when he doesn't continue.
Gaurav: Phew.
 
Rhu examines the now-empty cone in the sand.
SPHINX
Rhu:
Story.
rolling d20+12 perception check on the cone
 
(
THE GRAVEDIGGER
4
I'm not going to tell the whole thing. You have to savour it.
)
 
+12
=
16
The sphinx puts its ears back, then stares hungrily at Gravy.
The sphinx: Story.
Gaurav: Ellemerr: I thought "Once upon a time ..." needs to end with "... and he/they lived happily ever after"?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's an old metal cone. It was probably important. You don't know why.
The Gravedigger: I'm not going to tell the whole thing. You have to savour it.
Ellemerr: That is another good one, yeah.
Ganelon: Radek couldn't honestly claim that he would live happily ever after.
The sphinx hisses.
The sphinx hisses.
The Gravedigger: Just guzzling a story down is rude to the story.
 
Greibel: And you could get indigestion or stomach cramps.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Yeah.
Just guzzling a story down is rude to the story.
That too.
 
The sphinx looks confuses, relaxes slightly, then curls up on Amadi's lap and starts licking a wing.
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): IT WORKED.
And you could get indigestion or stomach cramps.
HOW DID THAT WORK.
 
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO FIGHT A FLYING CAT
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: I thought cats were supposed to be capable of fending for themselves.
Yeah. That too.
The Gravedigger: Maybe winged talking cats are different?
 
Amadi looks up at the others. "You know you have to keep doing this regularly, right? Or it might start actually eating elves. Or it'll just keep dragging me out of my dreams, and you wouldn't like THAT, either."
The sphinx looks confused, relaxes slightly, then curls up on Amadi's lap and starts licking a wing.
Radek: Who ever heard of one that needs to convince us to tell it stories?
 
Greibel: Wait a minute.
RADEK
All we need is some books on tape
I thought cats were supposed to be capable of fending for themselves.
Rhu: Literally indigestion is a lovely idea.
 
Apheori (GM): Sorry, Frezak. This cat is a bit... off.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Frezak (GM): Past it's sell-by date?
Maybe winged talking cats are different?
Rhu: I wonder if it can hunt stories? How would you stalk a tale?
 
The Gravedigger: Possibly with pens.
AMADI
Rhu: (to Amadi) these dreams of yours ... they wouldn't involve ... tentacles, would they?
(she looks up at the others)
Er, I mean
You know you have to keep doing this regularly, right? Or it might start actually eating elves. Or it'll just keep dragging me out of my dreams, and you wouldn't like THAT, either.
 
RADEK
Who ever heard of one that needs to convince us to tell it stories?
 
GREIBEL
Wait a minute. All we need is some books on tape.
 
RHU
Literally indigestion is a lovely idea.
I wonder if it can hunt stories? How would you stalk a tale?
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Possibly with pens.
 
RHU
(to Amadi)
These dreams of yours... they wouldn't involve... tentacles, would they? Er, I mean...
Or beaches? Or sundresses?
Or beaches? Or sundresses?
The Gravedigger: Tentacles and sundresses? I thought you were a holy man.
 
Amadi: Or moons, or bunnies.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You talked with Hazz. I'm not telling you pennies.
Tentacles and sundresses? I thought you were a holy man.
Rhu: I ... it's a long story. And unfortunately, Devourer knows most of it, so we can't use it to feed him. Her. It.
 
(to Amadi) I am not familiar with that expression. How would you ... tell me pennies?
RHU
Amadi: Penny for a tale?
I... it's a long story. And unfortunately, Devourer knows most of it, so we can't use it to feed him. Her. It.
Rhu is confused, then checks for a penny
 
Frezak (GM): EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
AMADI
Gaurav: ... which gives him a chance to see if all his items are there, and maybe see if another rock has mysteriously slipped into his pocket?
Or moons, or bunnies. You talked with Hazz. I'm not telling you pennies.
Frezak (GM): I'lllll tell you a tale for a penny.
 
One you cannot hear anywhere else!
RHU
No, not anywhere else.
I am not familiar with that expression. How would you... tell me pennies?
Gaurav: Save it for Devourer!
 
Frezak (GM): I heard it from a birdy
AMADI
It doesn't end purdy
Penny for a tale?
It doesn't end well.
 
No.
Rhu is confused, then checks his pockets. He finds a tentacle and starts to throw it away, then thinks better of it and puts it back into his pocket instead.
It never ends well.
 
Ellemerr: Sorry. I should've anticipated this. :P
AMADI
Frezak (GM): Sadly Gravy won't know that song :P
That wasn't me, you know. Nope. That was someone else. Someone later. Earlier? Someone. Not me at all.
Ellemerr: anticipated.
 
... Is that right?
SPHINX
Frezak (GM): Yes?
You.
Radek: Yes.
 
Ellemerr: Kay. Thanks.
AMADI
Ganelon: OOC yes.
Nope. Not me. Now shush.
Apheori (GM): Rhu has the usual pile, a small tentacle stuck in one pocket, and that other rock the not Amadi gave him.
 
Rhu starts to throw the tentacle away, then thinks better of it and puts it back into his pocket.
SPHINX
Frezak (GM): Ew
Wasn't you.
Amadi: That wasn't me, you know. Nope. That was someone else. Someone later. Earlier? Someone. Not me at all.
 
Ganelon: I'd like to go check out this excavated rocket.
The sphinx: You.
Amadi: Nope. Not me.
Now shush.
The sphinx: Wasn't you.
Amadi rubs the sphinx's belly.
Amadi rubs the sphinx's belly.
Apheori (GM): The rocket!
 
The Gravedigger: So... you learnt anything useful, Rhu?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): It's full of jiggits.
So... you learnt anything useful, Rhu?
Ganelon: Of what?
 
Rhu looks at Amadi suspiciously
RHU
Apheori (GM): Contraptiony thingies.
Oh? Er, nope. I have a feeling that it might be important, but, uh, I usually do, don't I.
Ganelon: Oh.
 
Apheori (GM): Controls and jiggits.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: Oh? Er, nope. I have a feeling that it might be important, but, uh, I usually do, don't I.
Dammit. ONE DAY WE WILL MAKE PROGRESS.
Apheori (GM): Whatchamajiggits.
 
The Gravedigger: Dammit.
AMADI
ONE DAY WE WILL MAKE PROGRESS.
One day you will bury the moon!
Rhu: Do you want to take this cone with us? We could bring CAR and load it in. Why we would want to take it back to the hole or the commune is beyond me, though.
 
Amadi: One day you will bury the moon!
The Gravedigger eyes a trickle of remaining sand. ''(rolled 36 perception)''
Ganelon: Well, in order of importance, can I find out:
 
- If there's anything sitting around down here other than controls and jiggits?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
- What may be keeping the thing from being powered?
This. Was desert sand.
- Where/how empty the fuel supply is?
 
Rhu, it's big enough to climb inside.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): I thought it was just the nose?
(indicating the cone)
Rhu: Oh? (looks back at the cone) It looks so small from up here.
Gravy, could you turn this thing around? I want to get at the back.
Frezak (GM): I thought it was cat-sized >.>
 
Ganelon: Am I wrong?
The Gravedigger drops down and attempts to turn the cone over. ''(rolled 6 strength (natural 1))''
I thought this was a spacefaring vessel.
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah, it seems to just be the nose (a sort of landing module?)...
Absolutely nothing happens.
It's about big enough for one person, and there are some odds and ends, bit it's hard to tell what they are. Scraps of cloth (or worse, cat)? Controls that fell off? A coffee mug?
 
Ganelon: Undamaged!?
The Gravedigger looks really perplexed.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC MUG
 
Apheori (GM): So yeah, you could stuff Rhu in.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): Roll a thing to tell power.
Er... Never mind. Forget I asked.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+10
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
(peering at the surface of the cone)
4
THe metal looks... melty. Burnt. Eaten.
)
 
+10
Radek examines it. ''(rolled 25 arcana)''
=
 
14
Apheori (GM): It's a it dented, rusted, and crap, but no obvious damage.
Ganelon: Bluh.
Rhu disapproves of being stuffed into a landing craft
Apheori (GM): You don't see any signs of the power source.
Ganelon: Aw. If it was a pristine coffee mug, I'd totes loot that.
Frezak (GM): But we found it pointing up, right?
Can we check the dirt for.... space dust?
To see whether it was snatched from space or a planet?
Because the former would be a very bad thing.
Ganelon: I want to get at the fuel supply. From the inside, that could probably be quite difficult.
But if there's fuel, well... fuel's combustible.
Apheori (GM): The mug is chipped.
Frezak (GM): NOOOOOO
THE MUUUUUUG
Apheori (GM): Frezak: ROLL A DIRT CHECK.
Ganelon: Actually, I can magic it whole.
So I WILL take the mug.
Frezak (GM): I'll turn on my badass power.
rolling 1D20+20
(
16
)
+20
=
36
X-RAY EYES ENGAAAAGE
Apheori (GM): And yeah, it's pointing up, and yeah, Radek would fit inside this.
Gaurav: "snatched from space or a planet"? If it's nose-up, it might be a landing craft with a heat shield on the lower side which was ejected before it landed.
Ganelon: Is thing small enough to pull out of the dirt completely?
Gaurav: We've pulled a zombie below under CAR. I think we can probably use it as a crane. Maybe.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You discover that it WAS snatched. The sand that was in it was the remains of what it had been sitting in, presumably some vast desert of a sort you'd not seen before. It'd be very hard to dig in.
Gaurav: ... doesn't anybody here have lift-objects magic powers?
Ganelon: I don't have lifting powers, no.
Gaurav: Griebel could turn into a flock of ants and dig it out.
Frezak (GM): I have powers to make the earth roil.
The Gravedigger: This. Was desert sand.
Radek: Gravy, could you turn this thing around? I want to get at the back.
Frezak (GM): Can I?
Apheori (GM): How strong are you?
Frezak (GM): I have 18 str.
So....
Apheori (GM): You know what? Roll a thing.
Frezak (GM): I could break Arnie's arm.
rolling 1D20+5
(
1
)
+5
=
6
Str check.
GODDAM
WHY DO I ALWAYS FAIL STR
Apheori (GM): Ahahah.
Frezak (GM): My third Str check.
My third 1 on str.
Gorram.
Bear Soup Guy: noodle arms
Gaurav: Arnie the action figure?
Radek: Er...
Frezak (GM): Gravy is really perplexed.
Gaurav: The one recalled for having easily breakable arms?
Radek: Never mind.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You fail to turn the thing and nearly impale your face on it.
Radek: Forget I asked.
Frezak (GM): Gravy just flaps his arms like that super amazing inflatable waving arm noddle man
Apheori (GM): In doing so, however, you notice something else - under the pattern of rust and stuff, the metal looks corroded, like with acid...
The Gravedigger: THe metal looks... melty.
Burnt. Eaten.
The porridge flops off Greibel's shoulder and bounces over to the sphinx.
The porridge flops off Greibel's shoulder and bounces over to the sphinx.
Ganelon: I'll inspect the corrosion.
 
Apheori (GM): SCIENCE.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
15
)
+10
=
25
Greibel: I'll smoke a plant!
The sphinx stares down the porridge.
The sphinx stares down the porridge.
The porridge stares down the sphinx.
 
The porridge, somehow, stares down the sphinx.
 
Amadi untangles the hand that isn't scratching the sphinx and reaches out to pet the porridge.
Amadi untangles the hand that isn't scratching the sphinx and reaches out to pet the porridge.
(To Amadi): When he smokes the plant, you feel kind of funny.
 
Gaurav: ... how does an eye-less porridge stare down a sphinx
The porridge refuses to back down in light of the sphinx, and finally the sphinx puts its ears back and blinks.
Apheori (GM): IT JUST DOES.
 
Ganelon: It loses the stare-down.
The porridge bounces away.
That's how.
 
Bear Soup Guy: It wrinkles its porridge skin like eyebrows
GREIBEL
Gaurav: Two eye-sized clumps of dry porridge appear on its surface, then move slowly together.
I'll smoke a plant!
hahaha porridge eyebrows YES
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: The corrosion was done over quite some time, as though by plants or something else wrapping around it.
Greibel smokes a plant.
Frezak (GM): Oh dear.
 
Apheori (GM): Trying to eat it.
Amadi goes stiff for a moment, then suddenly dumps the sphinx and strides over to Greibel, staring intently on his... weed-thingy.
(From Amadi): Don't I always feel sort of funny?
 
Radek: This is corrosion, and it didn't happen all at once.
The sphinx lands in an ungainly pile and swipes a pawful of claws at Amadi as she leaves, then skulks off away from the porridge.
(To Amadi): Probably, but this is a different sort.
 
Bear Soup Guy: if I were any good at visual arts I'd totally draw the porridge staring at stuff
RHU
(To Amadi): For a moment.
(to the sphinx)
(To Amadi): At least.
Hey! You okay?
Radek: The plants in this area might be carnivorous.
 
(From Amadi): Riiiight xD
RADEK
Greibel: That's unsettling
This is corrosion, and it didn't happen all at once.
Frezak (GM): What about the acidic tentacles that ate my rope?
The plants in this area might be carnivorous.
(To Amadi): >.>
 
The Gravedigger: What about the acidic tentacles that ate my rope?
GREIBEL
That's unsettling.
 
Greibel checks some random plants. ''(rolled 24 nature)'' He finds some useful herbs, but nothing overtly carnivorous.
 
Amadi looses interest in Greibel and looks for the porridge.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What about the acidic tentacles that ate my rope?
 
Rhu glances at Radek, then does a double-take, then quickly inspects the plants in this vacant lot with a wary eye.
Rhu glances at Radek, then does a double-take, then quickly inspects the plants in this vacant lot with a wary eye.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20 nature check some random plants
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(
That's a point. Why weren't you all melted, Rhu?
12
 
)
RHU
=
(looking confused)
12
I... landed on a beach? I don't know. The water looked kind of icky.
err
 
The Gravedigger: That's a point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel:
Hmm.
rolling 1d20+12 nature check some random plants
 
(
RHU
6
The beach I landed on... you said there was a beach on the other side of the portal, right? Full of holes, you said?
)
 
+12
RADEK
=
Just one large hole.
18
 
The Gravedigger: WHy weren't you all melted, Rhu?
RHU
Amadi goes stiff for a moment (probably completely unnoticed), then suddenly dumps the sphinx and strides over to Greibel, staring intently on his... weed-thingy.
The portal through the hole in pool by the tree with the little tree on it.
The porridge refuses to back down in light of the sphinx.
The porridge bounces away.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You find some useful herbs.
Rhu: (looking confused) I ... landed on a beach? I don't know. The water looked kind of icky.
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
The Gravedigger: Hmm.
Rhu suddenly realizes something
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Nothing very dangerous unless you make a potion first, though.
If you even can, I dunno.
Gaurav: Hey, i forgot to ask: was the beach Rhu landed on similar enough to the one we saw through the hole using Radek's eye-robot?
Bear Soup Guy: Probably can't
The sphinx lands in an ungainly pile and swipes a pawful of claws at Amadi, then skulks off away from the porridge.
Rhu: (to Devourer) Hey! You okay?
The sphinx: Radek saw something tropical-like.
Apheori (GM): Er, wrong character.
Rhu: You did not see it.
Only Radek did, and he told you.
Gaurav: But Radek did actually see it? It wasn't just described to him by the robot?
Apheori (GM): Ask Radek.
Ganelon: Well, it's a magic robot.
Rhu: The beach I landed on ... you said there was a beach on the other side of the portal, right? Full of holes, you said?
Radek: Just one large hole.
Rhu: The portal through the hole in pool by the tree with the little tree on it.
Hmm. There weren't any holes on the beach I landed. What was the water like?
Hmm. There weren't any holes on the beach I landed. What was the water like?
Ganelon: I don't think I specifically asked about that at the time. What was it like?
The sea I landed beside was black and oily. And strangely calm, like there weren't any waves on this sea.
Apheori (GM): Blue and tropical and pretty-like.
 
Rhu: The sea I landed beside was black and oily. And strangely calm, like there weren't any waves on this sea.
RADEK
Amadi looses interest in Greibel and turns away to look for the porridge.
It was unremarkable. The sort of thing you might see on a vapid postcard. "Good tidings from the beach next to this horrid space-warping rift!"
Radek: It was unremarkable.
The sort of thing you might see on a vapid postcard. "Good tidings from the beach next to this horrid space-warping rift!"
"Wish you were here!"
"Wish you were here!"
Amadi: (over her shoulder) ... You should sell that one.
 
Rhu giggles
AMADI
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You find the porridge on the sphinx. Apparently they worked out their differences and the sphinx is now wearing the porridge as a hat.
(over her shoulder)
Rhu: Different beach, then. Still, all these beaches ... it's a pretty strange coincidence.
...You should sell that one.
Amadi: Aaaw, look at you!
 
Radek: Maybe the universe is simply taking revenge upon carefree vacationers.
Rhu giggles.
Gaurav: That is adorable.
 
Amadi smiles at the two and attempt scratching them both at once with one hand.
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: ^_^
Different beach, then. Still, all these beaches ... it's a pretty strange coincidence.
Radek: If so, I could hardly blame it.
 
(To Amadi): Something I forgot to mention - or did I mention that? Either way, there's something weird about Greibel's hands.
RADEK
Amadi picks up the sphinx again, this time draping it around her neck as a scarf. Then she walks over to the thingmagog everyone seems so interested in, and the discussion of beaches.
Maybe the universe is simply taking revenge upon carefree vacationers.
(To Amadi): A black cone... the focus of terrible energies... poured out on the blank sands, the black sands...
If so, I could hardly blame it.
Radek: So, these holes. Would you say they were similar to what we've seen already?
 
(From Amadi): They're black, yes? I think I remember reading about black hands. From the porridge?
Amadi finds the porridge on the sphinx. Apparently they managed to work out their differences after all, and the sphinx is now wearing the porridge as a hat. Or something.
Rhu realizes he's forgotten something, sits down and prays to Hazz'ridan with thanks for bringing him back to what appears to be some form of relatively stable reality.
 
Amadi: A black cone... the focus of terrible energies... poured out on the blank sands, the black sands...
AMADI
(To Amadi): Yeah.
Aaaw, look at you!
(To Amadi): You don't need to repeat it. XD
 
(To Amadi): But you can, of course.
Amadi smiles at them and attempts to scratch them both at once with one hand. Then she picks up the sphinx again, this time draping it around her neck as a scarf, and walks over to the thingmagog everyone seems so interested in, and the discussion of beaches.
(From Amadi): It was really appropriate. I thought. Mind you, I'm probably mad.
 
(To Rhu): The universe is broken.
RADEK
Rhu: (nods as if he understands what Amadi is saying) A cone is a symbol of Hazz'ridan. The pointed end symbolizing the dead end at the end of all paths.
So, these holes. Would you say they were similar to what we've seen already?
(To Amadi): Heh.
 
Rhu: I read that on the inte--
Rhu realises he's forgotten something, sits down and prays to Hazz'ridan with thanks for bringing him back to what appears to be some form of relatively stable reality.
 
AMADI
A black cone... the focus of terrible energies... poured out on the blank sands, the black sands...
 
RHU
(nods as if he understands what Amadi is saying)
A cone is a symbol of Hazz'ridan. The pointed end symbolizing the dead end at the end of all paths.
I read that on the inte--
 
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear)
''The universe is broken.
 
Rhu frowns.
Rhu frowns.
(To Amadi): Ahahahah.
 
(From Amadi): See, that's what I said. Appropriate.
RADEK
Radek: Yeah, well this is the nose of an Artiilie spacecraft.
Yeah, well this is the nose of an Artiilie spacecraft.
Rhu: Yes, it does look that way. Maybe that's should be our first goal? Try to figure out where these holes go? Maybe there's one planet somewhere with nice beaches and crap beaches that all the holes end up in.
 
Amadi: Hazz is a meany. Next time you see him, tell him he can't have them, not on my life.
RHU
Rhu: I don't suppose Sarathi have beaches?
Yes, it does look that way. Maybe that's should be our first goal? Try to figure out where these holes go? Maybe there's one planet somewhere with nice beaches and crap beaches that all the holes end up in.
has*
I don't suppose Sarathi has beaches?
Apheori (GM): It has beaches.
 
The rest of you can probably guess that, at least.
AMADI
Hazz is a meany. Next time you see him, tell him he can't have them, not on my life.
 
Rhu looks at Amadi, then looks vaguely skywards, indicates Amadi, and shrugs.
Rhu looks at Amadi, then looks vaguely skywards, indicates Amadi, and shrugs.
Amadi narrows her eyes at Rhu and harrumphs.
Amadi narrows her eyes at Rhu and harrumphs.
(To Amadi): Have what, my lady?
 
(From Amadi): Hm? Oh, nothing. The china. I think. China? Is there still a China? I liked China.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(To Amadi): You're on.
(such that only Amadi can hear)
(From Amadi): Oh, bugger. I think I forgot my lines...
''Have what, my lady?
Rhu: A sort of Central Station for holes. A final terminus.
 
The Gravedigger: Isn't that HERE?
AMADI
The sphinx wanders off.
(such that only Hazz'ridan can hear)
The Gravedigger: Since we're finding all kinds of holes to various places tied to here.
''Hm? Oh, nothing. The china. I think. China? Is there still a China? I liked China.
We're in the junkyard of the universe.
 
Radek: There could very well be more holes elsewhere.
HAZZ'RIDAN
Amadi attempts picking the porridge off the spinx's head as it rises from her neck.
(such that only Amadi can hear)
Rhu: There's only one permanent hole here. The only other one we've found has been temporary. Oh, and the one we got here through, I guess.
''You're on.
Gaurav: I wonder if Rasputin has a sense of smell.
 
The sphinx falls off in a clump, having forgotten it hadn't been on the ground.
AMADI
Bear Soup Guy: He probably has a cute crinkly faux-nose sometimes ^_^
(such that only Hazz'ridan can hear)
Amadi: Use your wings, silly.
''Oh, bugger. I think I forgot my lines...
Gaurav: 18 cute crinkly noses! :-P
 
The sphinx looks up at Amadi, confused.
RHU
The sphinx: Wingss?
A sort of Central Station for holes. A final terminus.
Amadi: Yes. Flapping. Flying. Like this.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Isn't that HERE? Since we're finding all kinds of holes to various places tied to here. We're in the junkyard of the universe.
 
RADEK
There could very well be more holes elsewhere.
 
RHU
There's only one permanent hole here. The only other one we've found has been temporary. Oh, and the one we got here through, I guess.
 
The sphinx tries to wander off Amadi's shoulders and falls to the ground in a clump.
 
Amadi picks up the porridge as it does this, and then looks down, bemused.
 
AMADI
Use your wings, silly.
The sphinx looks up at Amadi blankly.
 
SPHINX
Wingss?
 
AMADI
Yes. Flapping. Flying. Like this.
 
Amadi attempts flying. Nothing happens.
Amadi attempts flying. Nothing happens.
Amadi frowns.
Amadi frowns.
The sphinx: The ground hungerrss.
 
SPHINX
The ground hungerrss.
 
The sphinx takes an experimental flap regardless.
The sphinx takes an experimental flap regardless.
The porridge wrinkles a nose for no apparent reason.
 
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You realise you don't have wings. You also realise you COULD have winds and it'd be really easy to do. Then you realise you could have pretty much anything, including cake, if you wanted...
The porridge, now affixed to Amadi's arm, wrinkles a nose for no apparent reason.
Amadi: I want cake. Does anyone else want cake?
 
Rhu nods
AMADI
Radek: No.
I want cake. Does anyone else want cake?
Amadi: Awesome! Don't blame me if it tastes of blood.
 
Amadi makes cake.
Rhu nods.
Rhu: ...
 
RADEK
No.
 
AMADI
Awesome! Don't blame me if it tastes of blood.
 
Amadi makes cake, pulling it out of nowhere in particular. It's black and frosted.
 
Rhu is suddenly not very hungry at all.
 
Radek frowns intensely.
Radek frowns intensely.
Rhu is suddenly not very hungry at all
 
Greibel: Is that like a blood pudding?
GREIBEL
Frezak (GM): Is it chocolate? On a big glass plate?
Is that like a blood pudding?
(From Amadi): Did I just pick cake out of the blue?
 
Amadi: I don't know. You should try! What happened to your hands?
AMADI
Apheori (GM): Amadi basically just pulled the cake out of the blue.
I don't know. You should try! What happened to your hands?
For clarification.
 
Amadi hands Greibel what appears to be cake.
Amadi hands Greibel a piece of what indeed appears to be cake.
Apheori (GM): Er, picked.
 
And pulled.
GREIBEL
It's black and frosted.
Hmmm. Works for me.
Greibel: Hmmm
 
Works for me
Greibel takes a big bite out of the side of the cake. It's very sweet.
Greibel takes a big bite out of the side of the cake
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
GREIBEL
Amadi: [sings] One side will make you bigger~
MMM!
[sings] And the other side...
 
Greibel:
AMADI
rolling 1d20
(singing)
(
One side will make you bigger. And the other side...
7
 
)
SPHINX
=
Smaaaaall.
7
 
The sphinx: Smaaaaall.
GREIBEL
Greibel: Well, that's creepy.
Well, that's creepy.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The cake is very sweet.
 
Frezak (GM): DEVILCAKE
AMADI
Gaurav: We need to discuss taking food from spontaneously vanishing strangers with Greibel.
I am not strange! I am -
Ganelon: Yeah, he needs an intervention.
 
Rhu gets up
Amadi looks around confusedly.
Amadi: I am not strange! I am -
 
Greibel: MMM!
AMADI
Gaurav: Amadi: that was me, not Rhu! Rhu would never say such things, especially since he thinks Mrs. Teatime is pretty darn wise.
(muttering to herself, or possibly the porridge)
Amadi looks around confusedly, then mutters to herself (or possibly the porridge) "I'm perfectly normal."
I'm perfectly normal.
Ellemerr: I'm perfectly aware.
 
The sphinx: The kind master. This one remembers. This one HUNGERSSS.
SPHINX
Ellemerr: She's saying this out of the blue.
The kind master. This one remembers. This one HUNGERSSS.
Rhu: So we can't move the cone thing. I suppose in there, though. Should we go check out that note the strange woman handed Radek in the market?
 
Apheori (GM): Also you had that journal. In case you forgot. Which you apparently did.
RHU
The Gravedigger: Sure.
So we can't move the cone thing. I suppose in there, though. Should we go check out that note the strange woman handed Radek in the market?
Gaurav: Ellemerr: damn. Amadi's one of those people who takes the glass out of the window pane on the fourth wall and then laughs when people walk into it, isn't she.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sure.
 
The porridge wiggles.
The porridge wiggles.
Ellemerr: Especially the laughing part, yes.
 
Gaurav: Rhu forgot about the journal, like, eight tentacles ago
Amadi makes some fruitcake and feeds it to the porridge in a horribly sloshy display.
(To Gaurav): She's not the only one.
 
Gaurav: But the stone-note thing is important.
Rhu backs away from her.
Ellemerr: I sort of pity Rhu.
 
Rhu looks up at the sky and winks.
AMADI
(To Gaurav): That was to you, not Rhu. >.<
Now what! It's not like I had a lot of time to rehearse!
Gaurav: Why? There's much to pity him for, but none of it's come up yet. He's reasonably happy. He seems particularly relaxed after the trip through the tentacles, actually. Not sure why.
 
Apheori (GM): Because he's an oblivious fruitcake?
Ganelon: That would be my next guess on where we're going next.
(From Gaurav): Oh, Amadi and Hazz are allowed to break the fourth wall but Rhu isn't? *winks*
Ellemerr: ... Now I want fruitcake.
I'm gonna produce fruitcake.
Apheori (GM): Also there's a guard standing in the entrance to the lot watching you. He doesn't seem to want to actually approach, though. He looks rather young.
Ellemerr: I HAVE MAGIC TOO
Rhu backs away from Amadi
Frezak (GM): I don't have much magic.
(To Gaurav): Rhu isn't a very powerful god. So... bno.
Frezak (GM): BUT I HAVE A SHOVEL.
Amadi: Now what! It's not like I had a lot of time to rehearse!
Amadi sighs.
Amadi sighs.
(From Gaurav): ... yet. He's a young elf yet.
 
Gaurav: So: to the address on the note?
 
Frezak (GM): WHY NOT
EXT. Street outside the vacant lot - morning
Rhu: We should get a move on before ... (gestures vaguely at Devourer)
 
Gaurav: Gan? Greibel? Anything else you can think of doing in here? Whatever happened to all those nature checks Greibel was making?
As the party heads out to leave, they encounter a guard standing at the entrance to the lot watching them.
Ganelon: I've got nothing else to do here.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I got USEFUL HERBS
The Gravedigger waves cheerfully.
Ellemerr: Moving on is probably wise.
 
Frezak (GM): ONWARDS
The guard doesn't seem to want to actually approach, but blocks the way when they try to leave.
INTO THE FUTURE
 
Ellemerr: I have no mad knowledge to help at this point.
Frezak (GM): OR TEATIME
WHICHEVER COMES FIRST
Gaurav: I guess we leave the vacant lot and head towards the address on the note, taking care to remember where this particular vacant lot is?
Apheori (GM): The guard is blocking the entrance to the lot. He seems to want to say something, but is unable to actually form the words.
What do you do?
Frezak (GM): Wave cheerfully.
Gaurav: I think we're going to have to kill him.
It's the only way.
Frezak (GM): GIVE HIM DRUGS
Greibel thrusts a piece of cake in the guard's direction
Greibel thrusts a piece of cake in the guard's direction
Greibel: HAVE SOME CAKE
 
Gaurav: ...
GREIBEL
Amadi: Yes, do. There's words in it. You need words, yes?
HAVE SOME CAKE.
Apheori (GM): He stares at the cake, takes it fearfully, and runs away.
 
Rhu: Hey! That was our blood cake!
AMADI
Frezak (GM): Ungrateful bastard.
Yes, do. There's words in it. You need words, yes?
Amadi: Huh. He must've been more starved than he looked.
 
Greibel: It's okay, teatime can always make more
The guard stares at the cake, takes it fearfully, and runs away.
Apheori (GM): He was terrified of you What do you expect? XD
 
Amadi: Yes... there tends to be cake for tea, doesn't it...
The sphinx runs part of the way after the guard, then stops randomly in front of a random elf apparently just going about his business. The elf nearly trips over the sphinx, does a double take, and makes a wide arc around it.
Greibel: Or biscuits!
 
Amadi: I hope the words will do him good.
The sphinx stares after him hungrily and then wanders through some other random passerby on the street, randomly grinning at them.
Frezak (GM): Oh, wait. It IS time for tea.
 
Greibel rubs his stomach cheerfully
RHU
Amadi: It's time for war! It's time for blood! It's - what time is it?
Hey! That was our blood cake!
Rhu checks his watch
 
The sphinx runs part of the way after the guard, then stops randomly in front of a random guy going about his business. The guy nearly trips over the sphinx, does a double take, and makes a wide arc around it.
AMADI
Rhu:
Huh. He must've been more starved than he looked.
rolling d20+12 perception check on my wrist watch
 
(
GREIBEL
4
It's okay, teatime can always make more.
)
 
+12
AMADI
=
Yes... there tends to be cake for tea, doesn't it...
16
 
The Gravedigger: TIME FOR TEA.
GREIBEL
Rhu: Devourer is totally harmless, dude.
Or biscuits!
The Gravedigger: Any tea with that cake?
 
I'm parched.
AMADI
Apheori (GM): You have a wrist watch?
I hope the words will do him good.
Er... it says it's some random time.
 
Amadi: No. The china was stolen. Possibly China too. Do you know China?
Greibel rubs his stomach cheerfully.
Rhu: At least it's still working.
 
The Gravedigger: Can't you just have it in a... jug?
AMADI
Amadi gives Gravy a disgusted look. "Would you dig a ditch with a fork?"
It's time for war! It's time for blood! It's - what time is it?
The Gravedigger: Well, I might start.
 
Rhu: We usually get our spaceship to make us tea ...
Rhu checks his watch.
The Gravedigger: If the dirt needed loosening.
 
Bear Soup Guy: RIP SHIP
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: I have a pick somewhere for that.
TIME FOR TEA.
Radek: I have a mug.
Any tea with that cake? I'm parched.
The Gravedigger: Aha!
 
Tea is still on the cards!
AMADI
Amadi: You're all mad. When were you going, again?
No. The china was stolen. Possibly China too. Do you know China?
Radek: Of course, it's meant for coffee and somewhat damaged, but I won't be needing one.
 
A passing philosopger runs past, screaming about 'holes for eyes'.
RHU
Gaurav: If we're going to drink something, we should go into a teahouse or bar or something, so we can have a random encounter.
At least it's still working.
The sphinx wanders through some other random passerby on the street, randomly grinning at them.
 
Amadi yells after the philosopher, "Tell them he's watching!"
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Rhu: (to Amadi) Who's watching?
Can't you just have it in a... jug?
The Gravedigger: AND THAT HE WANTS MORE HATS
 
A passing philosopger screams, flails, and dives into a doorway.
AMADI
Amadi: The... hat-guy, apparantly. I really did think you were supposed to be elsewhere then. It was in the script, I could swear.
(she gives Gravy a disgusted look)
Rhu: They should tied mattresses on all the walls in this town. I imagine a lot of philosophers end up splattered against walls.
Would you dig a ditch with a fork?
Rhu looks at Amadi a little suspiciously
 
Gaurav: TO THE MYSTERIOUS ADDRESS?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): A few folks do look up at this, and watch the guy until he disappears. "Mushrooms," you hear one say, shaking her head.
Well, I might start. If the dirt needed loosening.
Amadi: I forgot my lines. It's not my fault. They should've given me more time.
I have a pick somewhere for that.
 
RHU
We usually get our spaceship to make us tea...
 
RADEK
I have a mug.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aha! Tea is still on the cards!
 
AMADI
You're all mad. When were you going, again?
 
RADEK
Of course, it's meant for coffee and somewhat damaged, but I won't be needing one.
 
A passing philosopher runs past.
 
PHILOSOPHER
(screaming)
HOLES FOR EYES!
 
AMADI
(yelling after the philosopher)
TELL THEM HE'S WATCHING!
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
AND THAT HE WANTS MORE HATS.
 
The philosopher screams, flailes, and dives into the doorway of a seemingly random building further down the street.
 
RANDOM PASSERBY
(shaking her head disappointedly)
Mushrooms...
 
RHU
They should tie mattresses on all the walls in this town. I imagine a lot of philosophers end up splattered against walls.
(to Amadi)
Who's watching?
 
AMADI
The... hat-guy, apparently. I really did think you were supposed to be elsewhere then. It was in the script, I could swear.
 
Rhu looks at Amadi a little suspiciously.
 
AMADI
I forgot my lines. It's not my fault. They should've given me more time.
 
Amadi starts walking in a direction.
Amadi starts walking in a direction.
The sphinx trots after her.
The sphinx trots after her.
Rhu starts walking after them
 
Greibel follows suit
Rhu starts walking after her as well, and Greibel follows suit.
Ganelon: ...I'm not following the crazies.
 
Rhu: I'm pretty sure the address is this way.
AMADI
The gate we came in from is this way, and I think it was a few streets off from the market? If we can get back to the main gate, we should be able to find the market easy.
(singing)
Ganelon: You're following Amadi.
Ellemerr: And he thinks she's going the right way?
Or is he saying this to turn her around?
Or is he suddenly going another way, not caring where she goes?
Rhu stops, looking around, confused now.
Gaurav: Nah, he was saying it to Radek. But he really does think she's headed in the right direction.
Apheori (GM): As a reminder, Amadi has your pets.
Gaurav: This is also true.
Ganelon: She doesn't have my robots!
Ellemerr: [sings while walking]
When the men on the chessboard
When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
Get up and tell you where to go
And you have just have some kind of mushroom
And you have just have some kind of mushroom
And your mind is movin' low...
And your mind is movin' low...
Ganelon: I'm going to go ask for directions!
 
Ellemerr: Except Amadi does that too.
RHU
Rhu stops, turns around and follows Radek instead
I'm pretty sure the address is this way. The gate we came in from is this way, and I think it was a few streets off from the market? If we can get back to the main gate, we should be able to find the market easy.
Radek: Hmph. First sensible thing you've done all day.
 
Frezak (GM): I'm just going to plod behind Radek.
Rhu stops, looking around, confused.
Ellemerr: Does Greibel keep following Amadi? This is very important.
 
Gaurav: he is pretty close to Rasputin. let us not split the party though.
Radek just starts going in the other direction instead, the Gravedigger following.
Ellemerr: Aaaw, party-pooper...
 
Gaurav: on the other hand, i split the party last week and it was awesome
Rhu turns around and follows Radek instead.
Ellemerr: Yeah, see? Solo adventures. They're great.
 
Greibel keeps following Amadi
RADEK
Bear Soup Guy: Sorry, was afk for a minute
Hmph. First sensible thing you've done all day.
(From Ellemerr): The thing, of course, is that if it was anyone else following she would turn back because he has her key, but if he follows... So, what are your thoughts on party-splitting? I have no idea where Amadi's headed but I should go to bed in half or max a whole hour.
 
(To Ellemerr): I have no issue with it splitting so long as it doesn't get confusing.
Amadi is still singing about chess and pills and mushrooms and white rabbits and either doesn't notice or just doesn't care that Greibel is the only one following her now.
Apheori (GM): Hmm.
 
Okay, so chrome-covered Radek asks someone for directions, huge-arse Gravedigger behind him, while Amadi and Greibel wander off.
Greibel tries to harmonise non-word syllables with Amadi's singing.
Amadi is still singing about chess and pills and mushrooms and white rabbits and might not even notice that her tail detaches.
 
Ganelon: Yep!
 
Ellemerr: And Rhu also goes with the sense-party.
EXT. Coffle streets - morning
Gaurav: yup. he's going to regret this.
 
Greibel tries to harmonize non-word syllables with Amadi's singing
Amadi and Greibel wander down a few streets, still singing a bit. Nobody pays them all that much mind.
Ellemerr: Two mad people out and about! Whee!
 
All alone in the big city with nobody to keep them off the 'shrooms. :3
The sphinx grins at people as they past. Most of them ignore it. Some grin back. It seems to be very happy for some reason.
Bear Soup Guy: Muahahahaha
 
Gaurav: Twoooo madmen ... off, to see the world ... there's such, a lot of holes, to see ...
Apheori (GM): Radek: Who do you want to ask? There's close folks, there's other folks, there's guards...
Amadi: Greibel has shrooms.
Gaurav: btw: I'm at home dogwatching, so I'll need to leave a little earlier than I usually do. I probably have about an hour left here.
(From Ellemerr): You'll have to let me know if we get anywhere.
(To Ellemerr): It all depends on how long you have to wander...
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel /does/ have shrooms...
(From Ellemerr): Well, *I* have to go in shorter and shorter time, so if we want to get something mad done it has to be close enough for that... I guess. O_o
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Amadi, Greibel: You wander down a few streets. Nobody pays you all that much mind since you look fairly normal, even with the sphinx.
Ellemerr: I love that.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx grins at a lot of people. They mostly ignore it. Some grin back.
It seems to be very happy for some reason.
Amadi tells a lot of people to "Go ask Alice!" since that's the refrain of her song.
Amadi tells a lot of people to "Go ask Alice!" since that's the refrain of her song.
Gaurav: good for it. nobody likes a unhappy homicidal feline.
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Most of them don't really respond to this, or look confused, but one guy nods and says, "She'll know."
Gaurav: soulicidal?
 
Apheori (GM): A lot of people give Amadi strange looks. One guy nods and says, "She'll know."
Amadi eventually finishes her song (playing the last instrumental bit very, very well on an air-guitar) and stops. She takes a few bows to nobody in particular.
Ganelon: That's deep.
 
Amadi eventually finishes her song (playing the last instrumental bit very, very well on an air-guitar) and stops. Taking a few bows to nobody in particular, she eventually tells Greibel, "We're here."
AMADI
Apheori (GM): You're in the temple district.
(to Greibel)
There are a few of them, and a few statues, and a few trees, and a few people standing around.
We're here.
Frezak (GM): Bah.
 
Gods.
They're in the temple district. Entirely unsurprisingly, there are a few temples, as well as quite a few stand-alone statues and smaller shrines, interspersed with a good number of decently large trees.
Greibel: Here looks pretty groovy
 
Gaurav: I dont suppose it is at all likely that this is coinidentally near the address the rest of he party is heading towards?
Though there are plenty of people around, they have the particular space in front of a rather ornate but nonspecific building to themselves. There are a lot of potted flowers by the door.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
Amadi: There's a thing. Do you go inside?
GREIBEL
Amadi: Good songs lead good places. Shall we?
Here looks pretty groovy.
Greibel: We shall, m'lady
 
Amadi takes Greibel's arm and walks him inside.
AMADI
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Griebel: It's a small building tucked away behind one of the temples - unassuming and pleasant with a lot of potted flowers by the door.
Good songs lead good places. Shall we?
Amadi opens the door and you head inside, greeted by a room that is thoroughly dominated by a massive and vividly coloured rug on the floor.
 
Frezak (GM): THE RUG IS ALIIIIIVE
GREIBEL
KILLLL IIIIIT
We shall, m'lady.
Bear Soup Guy: That rug really ties the room together
 
Frezak (GM): DEMON RUG
The door is unlocked, and gives no resistance as Amadi takes Greibel's arm and walks him inside.
Apheori (GM): REST OF THE PARTY: Radek gets directions from a random passerby and you wind up heading toward the temple district as well, but when you get there you're not entirely sure what to do from there. Also a guard tries to stop you on the way there saying something about a fine, but you just go around himor something.
 
Frezak (GM): I just smile at him until he leaves.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I love these incompetent guards
EXT. Coffle streets - morning
Amadi: Yup. We are definitely... here.
 
Greibel: Okay. So what are we looking for?
Even despite his appearance, Radek manages to get directions from a random passerby, and the rest of the party winds up heading toward the temple district as well.
Apheori (GM): A man holding a taped-up metal contraption stumbles out of another room, saying "I don't know what you expected, but this isn't actually quite..."
 
He trails off when he sees you. "Oh. Are you...?"
On the way, a guard tries to stop them, saying something about a fine.
Amadi: I think you're looking for clues. About the Cataclysm or - yes. No. I was.
 
... Will be?
The Gravedigger just smiles at him until he leaves.
Apheori (GM): "No, no, this isn't," he says, and turns around and goes back into the other room.
 
They come to the indicated address, where there were apparently supposed to be flowers, but there doesn't appear to be anything of particular note there: it's just some garden with a decorative well in the middle. Flowers are everywhere.
 
Rhu peers down into the well. ''(rolled 13 perception (natural 1))''
 
RHU
Hey, what's that thing over theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
 
Rhu falls in the well.
 
A long moment later, there's a sickening thud, like splattering treacle.
 
RHU
(rubbing his head)
Guys! There's - oof - an entrance down here.
 
RADEK
(from the top, decidedly not falling in)
Were you even looking for an entrance?
 
RHU
...yes? Yes. Of course. That's what I came down here for.
You, er, might want to lower a rope or something, it's pretty deep.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey. Ladder.
 
RHU
What ladder?
 
The Gravedigger bonks on a surreptitious ladder built into the inside of the well.
 
RHU
Oh. Yes. That one. The ladder ladder. I knew that.
 
 
INT. Backend structure - day
 
Amadi, Greibel, and the sphinx enter into what turns out to be a surprisingly cool building. The entryway is basically just that, an entryway, with a couple tables with odds and ends on them, but the thing that thoroughly dominates the spaces is the massive and vividly coloured rug on the floor.
 
There are three doorways. One of them has a sign on the door that says 'PERFECTLY ORDINARY BASEMENT' in large shimmery letters.
 
AMADI
Yup. We are definitely... here.
 
GREIBEL
Okay. So what are we looking for?
 
AMADI
I think you're looking for clues. About the Cataclysm or - yes. No. I was.
...Will be?
 
Amadi waves a hand as if it doesn't matter.
Amadi waves a hand as if it doesn't matter.
Greibel: What a nice man
 
Amadi: Clues. Because all the holes are bad. They need patching. You think. He thinks. We'll see, I guess. I have holes.
An elf holding a taped-up metal contraption stumbles out of one of the other doorways.
Apheori (GM): This is basically a hallway, with a couple tables and odds and ends on them. There are three doorways - the one the guy came from, one with a sign that says 'perfectly ordinary basement' on it, and another that's unmarked.
 
Ganelon: Do we not have an address to a specific temple?
CONTRAPTION ELF
Apheori (GM): Gan: You have a specific address, but they didn't give you any specific indication of where that is within this area.
I don't know what you expected, but this isn't actually quite...
Gaurav: beware the leopard
(seeing Amadi and Greibel)
Apheori (GM): Something about flowers, though.
Oh. Are you...?
You can search for flowers.
 
Gaurav: Gan: we could ask someone, I guess. Or just knock on doors.
The elf stops and then shakes his head.
Ganelon: Sure. Flowers sounds like a solid enough lead.
 
Greibel: Amadi, dear. Do you think anything suspicious might be happening in that perfectly ordinary basement?
CONTRAPTION ELF
Ganelon: I was going to complain loudly about this being some whack religion's attempt to get us to go to church, as it were.
No, no, this isn't.
But maybe it still is.
 
Amadi: Everything is suspicious. Do you want to go there? A lot of suspiciousness will be amassing there if we enter.
He turns around and goes back into the other room.
Greibel: Ah, so we're the suspicious ones?
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: Roll a d6.
GREIBEL
Amadi: You are veeeery suspicious. I've got my hair on you.
What a nice man.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d6
AMADI
(
Clues. Because all the holes are bad. They need patching. You think. He thinks. We'll see, I guess. I have holes.
4
 
)
GREIBEL
=
Amadi, dear. Do you think anything suspicious might be happening in that perfectly ordinary basement?
4
 
Amadi: C'mon.
AMADI
Amadi opens the door to the basement.
Everything is suspicious. Do you want to go there? A lot of suspiciousness will be amassing there if we enter.
Greibel: Glad to be of hair-holding service...
 
Greibel follows
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Gan: You wind up in a garden with a well. Lots of flowers. Quite nice. Probably not what you were looking for, unless there's something about the well.
Ah, so we're the suspicious ones?
Gaurav: I would watch a TV show that's just Amadi and Greibel wandering around solving crime.
 
Frezak (GM): THE WELL
AMADI
Ellemerr: TREACLE
You are veeeery suspicious. I've got my hair on you.
Gaurav: They'd take about half a season to find the crime scene, but ever so entertaining.
(she opens the door to the basement)
Bear Soup Guy: Gaurav - I was just thinking the same thing XD
C'mon.
Ellemerr: AHAHAH
 
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: The stairway is dark and narrow and seems to go on for entirely too long, first straight, then curving.
GREIBEL
Do either of you actually notice?
Glad to be of hair-holding service...
Ellemerr: Psh, this is Amadi. She wouldn't notice if she fell asleep in the middle of it. Tell me if it starts playing jazz, though.
 
Gaurav: BSG: did you just spell my name correctly? omg yay! It's always fun when that happens.
They head down.
rolling d20+12 perception check the HECK out of that well
 
(
 
1
INT. Secret passage entrance - day
)
 
+12
Radek climbs down and joins Rhu at the bottom of the well.
=
 
13
Rhu tries the door, but it's locked.
...
 
Ellemerr: TREACLE
Radek tries to pick the lock, but it doesn't work. ''(rolled 19 thievery)'' He tries again. ''(rolled 22 thievery)'' This gets the door open.
Bear Soup Guy: "DUHR WHAT IS WELL"
 
Ellemerr: Please please please find treacle :3
Behind it is another door.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: You fall in the well.
 
Bear Soup Guy: And yeah, Greibel is totally down with walking down an endless staircase
The Gravedigger drops down behind them.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: You also realise it's actually a secret entrance to something.
 
Ellemerr: At least the company is good!
RHU
Rhu: Hey, what's that thing over theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
There's nothing quite as annoying as a path pretending to be a dead end. A fake dead end is a pretty rotten thing.
Rhu lands with a sickening thud
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Radek tries it, finds it to be also locked, and then just attacks it with the concussive force of raw thunder. ''(rolled 21 attack)''
Gaurav: how deep is it? is the entrance at the bottom?
 
Ellemerr: Now you're gonna drown in treacle :3
The door falls open partially, and Rhu pulls it open the rest of the way, revealing another locked door behind it.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
 
Apheori (GM): Yeah, there's an entrance.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Amadi, Greibel: You come to a door.
YOU HAVE DOOR PROBLEMS?
It is large, menacing, and black.
 
RADEK
YES!
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GRAVY POWER.
 
The Gravedigger charges the third door with his horns. ''(rolled 24 attack)'' It falls off its hinges, revealing yet another locked door behind it.
 
Unlike the other doors, which were at least similar too each other, however, this new door isn't even remotely the same style as the others, as though from from another culture entirely.
 
RHU
Hmmm. I wonder if this is some kind of mental or magic trick. Like Telestorian dolls.
 
RADEK
It's a frustrating one regardless.
 
RHU
That door is many doors, you guys.
 
RADEK
Great. Make it many splinters.
 
Rhu tries attacking the new door with radiant vengeance. ''(rolled 9 attack)'' He bounces off.
 
Then he tries just hitting it with his maul. ''(rolled 20 attack)'' This puts a small dent in it.
 
RHU
Could one of you guys get this? Sorry.
 
 
INT. Stairs - underground complex
 
The stairway is dark and narrow, and seems to go on for entirely too long, first straight, then curving.
 
Except neither Amadi nor Greibel even notice. Or care, at any rate.
 
Eventually they come to a door. It is large, menacing, and black.
 
GREIBEL
Ominous black door. Nothing bad can come of this.
 
Amadi opens the door.
Amadi opens the door.
Gaurav: Ellemerr: how would you draw treacle in a well? There's not enough light.
 
Ganelon: Is there a safe way down?
AMADI
Rhu: Guys! There's -- oof -- an entrance down here.
I'm already bad for you, Killion. So are you.
Ellemerr: *squeeeeee*
 
Rhu rubs his head.
There's another huge rug on the floor inside, but this one is much darker in hue than the one upstairs.
Greibel: Ominous black door. Nothing bad can come of this.
 
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: There's another huge rug on the floor inside. The sphinx runs inside and curls up in the middle of it.
The sphinx runs in and curls up in the middle of it.
Radek: Were you even looking for an entrance?
 
Amadi: I'm already bad for you, Killion. So are you.
GREIBEL
Rhu: ... yes?
Awww, that's what my mother used to tell me.
Yes. Of course. That's what I came down here for.
 
Greibel: Awww, that's what my mother used to tell me
AMADI
Rhu: You, er, might want to lower a rope or something, it's pretty deep.
She wasn't really your mum. She bought you from a man.
Amadi: She wasn't really your mum. She bought you from a man.
 
Gaurav: ...
Amadi goes around the room. It seems to be an entryway to a sort of underground hideout, a series of rooms and passageways beyond it, with blue magelights affixed to the ceilings.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: There's actually a ladder built into the side.
 
Amadi goes around the room.
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): OF the well.
Oh...
Greibel: Oh...
 
The Gravedigger: Hey. Ladder.
AMADI
Greibel starts looking around the room
Pretty blue light... Little Will'o's. This place is... nice.
Gaurav: well, this game actually got a whole lot darker.
(to the sphinx)
Ellemerr: *cackles*
Are you coming, Chess?
Rhu: What ladder?
 
Ellemerr: Sorry, I didn't play WoD yesterday.
The Gravedigger picks up Rhu and points him at the ladder.
Bear Soup Guy: Shhhhh, we're genre-bending!
Gaurav: Ellemerr: WoD?
Rhu: Oh. Yes. That one. The ladder ladder.
Bear Soup Guy: World of DEATH
Ellemerr: World of Darkness. I DM a thingy. It's dark. I must be trying to get it out here instead.
Rhu: I knew that.
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: It seems to be a sort of underground hideout, a series of rooms and passageways with blue magelights affixed to the ceiling.
Frezak (GM): NOW GO FORTH
Apheori (GM): There are a couple passages from where you are.
Frezak (GM): AND BE BRAVE
Rhu: Ellemerr: oooh, sounds interesting!
Gaurav: err, sorry
Bear Soup Guy: Reminds me of home.
Well, the most recent one I had anyway.
Amadi: Pretty blue light... Little Will'o's. This place is... nice.
Radek climbs down the ladder.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will go last.
Possibly once the other guys are clear.
Apheori (GM): Roll a thing to see if Gravy fits. >.>
Amadi: Are you coming, Chess?
Apheori (GM): Radek, Rhu: The door at the bottom is locked.
The sphinx gets up slowly, relishing the space.
The sphinx gets up slowly, relishing the space.
The sphinx: Stories here. Old. Hungry.
 
Amadi: Yes. So very hungry.
SPHINX
Greibel: Should we feed it before it starts eating us?
Stories here. Old. Hungry.
Ganelon: Would you believe I'm actually trained in thievery?
 
Gaurav: YAY!
AMADI
Ganelon: No dexterity to make it any good, mind you, but it's an important skill for alchemy. Steady hands and all that.
Yes. So very hungry.
Amadi: If it could it would probably have eaten me already... I'm very tasty.
 
Greibel: I can only assume so
GREIBEL
Ganelon: So I'm going to roll to pick this lock.
Should we feed it before it starts eating us?
Greibel covers his eyes and starts pointing at doors saying eenie-meenie-minee-moe
 
Greibel: That one!
AMADI
Ganelon: Er, if this door is even locked in that manner. Is it?
If it could it would probably have eaten me already... I'm very tasty.
Greibel: Shall we investigate?
 
Amadi nods. "Yes. That one."
GREIBEL
Greibel opens the door
I can only assume so.
Bear Soup Guy: brb checking the mail
 
Amadi whistles to the sphinx.
Greibel covers his eyes and starts pointing at doors saying eenie-meenie-minee-moe.
The sphinx: Gan: Roll.
 
Apheori (GM): Oops.
GREIBEL
Gaurav: Why would there be mail in an underground dungeon?
That one! Shall we investigate?
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20+6
AMADI
(
(she nods)
13
Yes. That one
)
 
+6
Greibel opens the door, and Amadi whistles to the sphinx.
=
 
19
The passage is full of fungi clinging to the walls, but it's not long. It leads to a shrine of sorts.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Actually, can you just take 20 for this?
 
Ganelon: It takes quite a bit of in-world time, but that would be up to you, not me.
A figure of a cat-headed woman is sitting on the table. Skulls of various small (and not so small) animals are scattered about the floor.
Ellemerr: Charming a lock for 20 mins? That's dedication. O_o
 
Apheori (GM): Well, you just failed to open it.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Alas!
What a charming little shrine.
Apheori (GM): Or you could just keep rolling until it works.
 
Ganelon: I probably would keep trying.
AMADI
Sure.
(to the statue)
Ellemerr: Or until you roll 1 and it gets hopelessly stuck.
Oh hey, it's you!
Ganelon: 22
 
Huh, and I was even expecting to do a lot of these and used inline to save space.
Amadi skips happily over pats the statue on the head.
Gaurav: How do you do inline?
 
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: The passage is full of fungi clinging to the walls, but it's not long. It leads to a shrine of sorts. A figure of a cat-headed woman sits on the table.
GREIBEL
Also there are skulls all over the floor.
Is that, erm... the cat woman?
Ganelon: Double brackets "[[" and no /roll.
 
Apheori (GM): Mostly rodents, some not rodents.
AMADI
Gaurav: 11
Yes, no, I should really not be doing this. It's really... but then again, I always liked it, right? As did she. We? Me. Us. Yes. Or maybe we hated it. In which case this is even more fun! Take that, you. Hah.
fancy! thanks!
 
(From Ellemerr): Statue of anyone familiar?
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): Gan: So you get the door open. Behind it... is another door.
You have quite the way with words.
(To Ellemerr): It's totally Bast.
 
(To Ellemerr): Except not.
AMADI
Rhu: There's nothing quite as annoying as a path pretending to be a dead end. A fake dead end is a pretty rotten thing.
Hm? Oh, words! You should give me words! Her. Words. Prayer! Do you have a hookah?
Greibel: What a charming little shrine.
 
(From Ellemerr): Well duh. Who would Amadi think of it as? :P
GREIBEL
Amadi: Oh hey, it's you!
I have a bong.
Amadi skips happily over to the statue and pats it on the head.
 
(To Ellemerr): Herself, her sister, someone named Fred, Yika, Ariasna, Alyre, or Enry.
Amadi looks uncommonly suspicious for a moment.
Greibel: Is that, erm...
 
The cat woman?
AMADI
Ganelon: This one had better not be locked.
Yesssss... you do...
Apheori (GM): It's locked.
 
Ganelon: Ffffrrgh
Greibel raises an eyebrow.
THUNDERING ARMOR
 
Amadi: Yes, no, I should really not be doing this. It's really... but then again, I always liked it, right? As did she. We? Me. Us. Yes. Or maybe we hated it. In which case this is even more fun! Take that, you. Hah.
AMADI
Apheori (GM): o.O
Will you... pray, with the...?
Ganelon: [Implement Attack]
 
rolling 1d20+5+0
(
15
)
+5+0
=
20
Greibel: You have quite the way with words.
Frezak (GM): Since no-one has called up I'm going down the ladder to investigate.
Ganelon: Actually that's outdated and it should be +6.
I thought you climbed down with us already.
Amadi: Hm? Oh, words! You should give me words! Her. Words. Prayer! Do you have a hookah?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Did you roll if you fit?
Frezak (GM): What?
No!
Greibel: I have a bong
Frezak (GM): First, what DO I roll?
Secondly, i'm seven feet tall, not seven ffet wide.
Apheori (GM): Gan: So that hits the door in some way or another and it comes open.
Gaurav: phew
Amadi looks uncommonly suspicious for a moment. "Yesssss... you do..."
Ganelon: It's basically just concussive force.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Dexterity-related.
Greibel raises an eyebrow
Apheori (GM): Gan: Okay. The door came open.
Frezak (GM): oh dear.
rolling 1D20+1
(
16
)
+1
=
17
Gaurav: Frezak: I feel like squeezing in (and possibly breaking some of the well in the process) should be a strenght check, maybe athletics?
Apheori (GM): Yeah, alright, you fit. Not well, but well enough to go up or down without moving in any other way.
He had to get in at all.
That's totally dexterity.
The Gravedigger: YOU HAVE DOOR PROBLEMS?
Gaurav: mm, yeah, that makes sense
Ganelon: Is there a third locked door past this one?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Radek: YES!
Amadi: Will you... pray, with the...?
The Gravedigger: GRAVY POWER
Amadi gives Greibel a hungry look.
Amadi gives Greibel a hungry look.
Frezak (GM): I'm gonna charge with my horns.
 
The sphinx gives Amadi a hungry look.
The sphinx gives Amadi a hungry look.
Amadi makes a suspiciously cat-like hissing sound.
Amadi makes a suspiciously cat-like hissing sound.
Frezak (GM):
 
rolling 1D20+10
GREIBEL
(
Um... Okay sure, let's pray.
14
 
)
Amadi nods vigorously and turns back to the statue.  
+10
 
=
AMADI
24
This isn't going to hurt one bit. I promise.
That's Goring Horns + Charge.
 
Gaurav: WOAH
Amadi disappears into thin air again. The porridge falls to the floor with a splat.
nice
 
Apheori (GM): The third door falls off its hinges.
GREIBEL
Greibel: Um...
Huh... Disappearing into thin air sure seems like it would be pretty painful.
Okay sure, let's pray
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: Perception.
Greibel scratches his head and looks around. ''(rolled 30 perception (natural 20))'' He knows what this room is. It's familiar, sort of. ''Her''. Not Amadi, not even the one Amadi was, or could have been, but related. Another piece of the puzzle.
Gaurav: go on, then. tell us about the fourth door.
 
Frezak (GM): The fourth door is made of LAVA
The bones on the floor were offerings, hunted objects for the Lady. The shrine itself is alive, the inside of something larger, but also outside of what they needed. They entered the wrong door, but before that they entered the wrong door.
Apheori (GM): Also there's another door behind it. All the doors have been different styles, but this one is really different, like from another culture entirely.
 
Gaurav: hmmm
The sphinx stares at Greibel.
Rhu: hmmm
 
I wonder if this is some kind of mental or magic trick. Like Telestorian dolls.
GREIBEL
Radek:
(motioning to the sphinx and Rasputin)
rolling 1d20+8
Come on, we have to find the wrong door!
(
 
9
The porridge hops back up onto Greibel's shoulder.
)
 
+8
SPHINX
=
And the master? She was here. Her shadow. Her part.
17
(pawing at the ground where Amadi had been standing)
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Radek: It's a frustrating one regardless.
Frezak (GM): Isn't it Rhu's turn to do a door?
Rhu:
rolling d20+12 perception check to see if the culture makes any kind of sense to me
(
2
)
+12
=
14
Apheori (GM): It's a door.
A bunch of doors.
Like someone collected random doors and used them for something weird because this is weird and you don't feel quite right.
Rhu: That door is many doors, you guys.
Radek: Great. Make it many splinters.
Rhu: RADIANT VENGEANCE
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Amadi: What's up?
Rhu:
rolling d20 + 5 vs reflex
(
4
)
+5
=
9
hmm
my vengeance was not very radiant
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Nothing happens.
Amadi nods vigorously and turns back to the statue. "This isn't going to hurt one bit. I promise." And then she disappears into thin air again.
Rhu: I'll just hit it with my maul?
Greibel: Huh...
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+3 vs AC
(
15
)
+3
=
18
Greibel: Disappearing into thin air sure seems like it would be pretty painful
Greibel scratches his head and looks around
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You put a dent in it.
Rhu: I'm not big on damage, most of my stuff is with giving penalties to enemies and suchlike.
Could one of you guys get this? Sorry.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Perception check.
Frezak (GM): You want another Gravy charge?
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+10
(
20
)
+10
=
30
Bear Soup Guy: I KNOW EVERYTHING
Ellemerr: Man, you do O_o
Bear Soup Guy: THE SLIGHTEST FACIAL TICK BELIES YOUR ENTIRE SCHEME
Apheori (GM): I regret this.
Gaurav: hahahaha
nice roll, BSG
Ellemerr: Well now I have to stay and see what you learn.
Gaurav: I'm out of here in like 5 mins btw
Ellemerr: Yeah me too. As usual when Ama goes poof. :P
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The bones on the floor were offerings, hunted objects for the lady. The shrine itself is a live, the inside of something larger, but also outside of what you needed.
You entered the wrong door, but before that you entered the wrong door.
Finding the right door is pointless. You need to find the other wrong door. Other other.
The sphinx is staring at you.
Bear Soup Guy motions to the sphink and porridge
Bear Soup Guy: Come on, we have to find the wrong door!
The porridge moves back to Greibel's shoulder.
Bear Soup Guy: Err
IN CHARACTER
The sphinx: And the master?
She was here. Her shadow. Her part.
Heeeeere.
Heeeeere.
The sphinx paws at the ground.
 
Greibel: If I know Amadi she'll be meeting us again further on.
GREIBEL
The sphinx: Not her.
If I know Amadi she'll be meeting us again further on.
Not...
 
SPHINX
Not her. Not...
 
The sphinx hisses and runs out the door.
The sphinx hisses and runs out the door.
Greibel: Oh, you mean...oh okay
 
Greibel follows the sphinx for a bit
GREIBEL
Gaurav: okay, I gotta run now. Bus in two minutes! BYEEEEEEE
Oh, you mean... oh, okay.
The sphinx: Right, let's call it a time.
 
Apheori (GM): Er, sorry.
Greibel follows after the sphinx.
Gaurav: have fun with the sphinx, Greibel! don't let Devourer eat you!
 
Bear Soup Guy: BYE RAVEY
AMADI
Gaurav: see you everybody!
(such that only the sphinx can hear)
Ganelon: See ya.
''Nooo, let us sleeep for a bit, won't you... We're not ready to... to...  
(From Amadi): (to Spinx, if she has that power) *groans* Nooo, let us sleeep for a bit, won't you... We're not ready to... to... (But then again, maybe that's just in her dream-thing.)
</screenplay>
(To Ellemerr): Totally can. Sphinx doesn't seem to understand, though.
(From Ellemerr): Well, nobody ever does.
(To Ellemerr): Heh.
Ellemerr: Good time-of-the-day, y'all. Sweet daydreams and nightmares.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios!
Frezak (GM): HAVE FUN PEOPLES
OR WILL BEAT YOU WITH SNAKES
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Sweet nightmares.
Ellemerr: ^____^
Apheori (GM): Next tuesday, then!
Bear Soup Guy: Next Tuesday!
</pre>


{{holes nav
{{holes nav

Latest revision as of 21:06, 21 August 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 11 (raw log) (Overview)
EXT. Vacant lot - night
Radek is in the hole disenchanting the sand from the cone. He pockets a few items he finds in the process.
The Gravedigger is still busy burying the cat bones when Rhu suddenly falls out of the air, landing flat on his face by Greibel.
A large winged cat, the sphinx, pokes its head up behind him and then perches on Rhu's butt.
RHU
Oof.
Greibel looks around.
GREIBEL
Guys! I found the winged cat!
RADEK
Shut up and let me work.
Greibel waves at Rhu, who doesn't even move.
RHU
...so on the plus side, Hazz'ridan says he'll help us find a solution to this hole trouble we're having. On the minus side, I don't think he knows how.
(to Greibel)
Well, you're still there. That's progress, I guess.
GREIBEL
Hazz sounds a little confused for a God.
Rhu looks at Greibel, wondering if it's worth engaging with him on the off chance that he turns into a tentacle.
Amadi appears about a metre behind Greibel, floating about a metre off the ground, and rolls her eyes at them and yawns.
AMADI
Psh. Not hardly.
Rhu tries to get up, realises there's a cat on him, and then collapses back down.
RHU
(to cat)
Excuse me.
SPHINX
Storiessss.
GREIBEL
Huh...
RHU
I'd say you're getting to live out a pretty exciting story, but I'll be glad to tell you another one if you'll...
Rhu indicates for the sphinx to maybe get off him.
The sphinx moves up Rhu's back and settles on his head.
Rhu tucks his feet under him, then reaches up to steady the sphinx while getting to his feet, cat and all.
The sphinx digs in its claws, but Rhu doesn't stop. He winds up with the sphinx balanced precariously with one foot on his shoulder and the rest on his head.
Greibel claps.
Amadi blinks a little, nods her head sleepily, and then disappears again.
RHU
...I don't suppose you're comfortable up there.
(to Greibel)
He's from the City of the Death. He followed me here. Can we keep him?
GREIBEL
No reason I should have a pet if you can't.
Greibel nuzzles Rasputin.
AMADI
You don't - don't keep...
Amadi yawns again. She's standing on solid ground this time.
AMADI
It keeps you.
Greibel makes mock ghost noises and waves his arms around at Amadi's insinuation.
The sphinx jumps down and walks up to Amadi.
Rhu whirls around and stares at Amadi like he's never seen her before.
RHU
You... you were... in the other place.
AMADI
No no. That wasn't me.
Amadi shakes her head groggily.
The sphinx rubs against Amadi's legs.
Rhu squints as if he's trying to remember something
Amadi gives the sphinx a reproachful look.
AMADI
Why did you wake me? I liked that dream.
RADEK
Rocket's clear, guys - is that Rhu?
RHU
Oh, hey, Radek.
The Gravedigger shrugs and wanders over, done with his burying.
SPHINX
Dreams are storieessss.
AMADI
No, it's Jem. Oh, THAT guy. No, that's not Rhu either.
RHU
He needs a name. Unless he's a she. In which case she needs a name.
RADEK
I thought you were devoured. And possibly exploded.
AMADI
This cheeky bastard woke me for breakfast!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You owe me some rope.
The sphinx hisses at Gravy.
RHU
I fell onto a beach. Then things went weird for a long while. There was the bit with the tentacles, and then the city of the dead and... Kyral? Kurul? Something?
(he points at Amadi)
Then she showed up.
SPHINX
(hissing)
KYRULE!
The sphinx cowers away.
The Gravedigger gives the sphinx a blank stare.
Rhu snaps his finger.
RHU
That's the one. Thank you, cat. Do you have a name?
SPHINX
No namess. Names eaten. Devoured.
Amadi scratches the spinx absent-mindedly behind the ears.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What a bout a title? Nick-name? Serial number? Rank?
RHU
Devourer is a nice name for a cat.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Devourer sounds a bit ominous, given all the holes.
RHU
Are you kidding? it's an adorable name! "Devourer". I wonder if he hunts mice.
SPHINX
Sphinxess.
RHU
Sphinx is also a nice name for a cat.
SPHINX
They call us that. The devoured. The eaten. And the storiesss. Gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
If an eaten thing calls you something... sounds like shit talking.
GREIBEL
How about... Lardball.
AMADI
Yeah... I guess you must be hungry. 'Twas still not nice to wake me.
RHU
(looking worried)
Actually, the mysterious woman said they eat... elves, I guess? So we should probably keep an eye on him... or her?
Rhu tries to look at the underside of the sphinx to figure out which it is, but it appears to be genderless.
SPHINX
Eats stories. Hungry.
AMADI
(nodding)
So very hungry.
GREIBEL
Does anybody know a good story?
RHU
Oh, right, you said. Hmm. Have you heard about the Great War?
SPHINX
So many...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I know some stories. If I tell one, do I get it back? Because I'm not going to lose a story for some cat.
SPHINX
Back? No back. Never a back. Can't go back.
GREIBEL
(he nudges Gravy)
Tell a story you never liked in the first place.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't remember any stories I didn't like. That would be silly. I remember the good ones.
Amadi sits down just a few centimetres off the ground and picks up the sphinx to put it in her lap.
The sphinx sticks its face in Amadi's.
Amadi rolls her eyes and pushes the cat's face away, taking up scratching its chin again.
Rhu wanders over to the cone.
AMADI
(muttering)
Yeah yeah. Hungry.
RADEK
Once upon a time.
The sphinx whirls around and stares at Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What.
RADEK
A genius scientist invented something new, as part of one of his experiments.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
There was a mummy diode and a daddy diode.
The sphinx looks back and forth between Radek and the Gravedigger hungrily.
RADEK
He had been speaking to a strange creature which called itself a sphinx, and claimed to eat stories, but had no way of telling if it was true.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The diodes wanted a baby.
RADEK
So he invented one, and fed it to the sphinx.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
But they couldn't have one because they were diodes. So they hatched a plan instead.
The sphinx hiss-barks at Radek.
RADEK
The end.
The sphinx puts its ears back, then stares hungrily at Gravy when he doesn't continue.
SPHINX
Story.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm not going to tell the whole thing. You have to savour it.
The sphinx hisses.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Just guzzling a story down is rude to the story.
GREIBEL
And you could get indigestion or stomach cramps.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah. That too.
The sphinx looks confused, relaxes slightly, then curls up on Amadi's lap and starts licking a wing.
RADEK
I thought cats were supposed to be capable of fending for themselves.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe winged talking cats are different?
AMADI
(she looks up at the others)
You know you have to keep doing this regularly, right? Or it might start actually eating elves. Or it'll just keep dragging me out of my dreams, and you wouldn't like THAT, either.
RADEK
Who ever heard of one that needs to convince us to tell it stories?
GREIBEL
Wait a minute. All we need is some books on tape.
RHU
Literally indigestion is a lovely idea.
I wonder if it can hunt stories? How would you stalk a tale?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Possibly with pens.
RHU
(to Amadi)
These dreams of yours... they wouldn't involve... tentacles, would they? Er, I mean...
Or beaches? Or sundresses?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Tentacles and sundresses? I thought you were a holy man.
RHU
I... it's a long story. And unfortunately, Devourer knows most of it, so we can't use it to feed him. Her. It.
AMADI
Or moons, or bunnies. You talked with Hazz. I'm not telling you pennies.
RHU
I am not familiar with that expression. How would you... tell me pennies?
AMADI
Penny for a tale?
Rhu is confused, then checks his pockets. He finds a tentacle and starts to throw it away, then thinks better of it and puts it back into his pocket instead.
AMADI
That wasn't me, you know. Nope. That was someone else. Someone later. Earlier? Someone. Not me at all.
SPHINX
You.
AMADI
Nope. Not me. Now shush.
SPHINX
Wasn't you.
Amadi rubs the sphinx's belly.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
So... you learnt anything useful, Rhu?
RHU
Oh? Er, nope. I have a feeling that it might be important, but, uh, I usually do, don't I.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dammit. ONE DAY WE WILL MAKE PROGRESS.
AMADI
One day you will bury the moon!
The Gravedigger eyes a trickle of remaining sand. (rolled 36 perception)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This. Was desert sand.
RADEK
(indicating the cone)
Gravy, could you turn this thing around? I want to get at the back.
The Gravedigger drops down and attempts to turn the cone over. (rolled 6 strength (natural 1))
Absolutely nothing happens.
The Gravedigger looks really perplexed.
RADEK
Er... Never mind. Forget I asked.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(peering at the surface of the cone)
THe metal looks... melty. Burnt. Eaten.
Radek examines it. (rolled 25 arcana)
The porridge flops off Greibel's shoulder and bounces over to the sphinx.
The sphinx stares down the porridge.
The porridge, somehow, stares down the sphinx.
Amadi untangles the hand that isn't scratching the sphinx and reaches out to pet the porridge.
The porridge refuses to back down in light of the sphinx, and finally the sphinx puts its ears back and blinks.
The porridge bounces away.
GREIBEL
I'll smoke a plant!
Greibel smokes a plant.
Amadi goes stiff for a moment, then suddenly dumps the sphinx and strides over to Greibel, staring intently on his... weed-thingy.
The sphinx lands in an ungainly pile and swipes a pawful of claws at Amadi as she leaves, then skulks off away from the porridge.
RHU
(to the sphinx)
Hey! You okay?
RADEK
This is corrosion, and it didn't happen all at once.
The plants in this area might be carnivorous.
GREIBEL
That's unsettling.
Greibel checks some random plants. (rolled 24 nature) He finds some useful herbs, but nothing overtly carnivorous.
Amadi looses interest in Greibel and looks for the porridge.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What about the acidic tentacles that ate my rope?
Rhu glances at Radek, then does a double-take, then quickly inspects the plants in this vacant lot with a wary eye.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's a point. Why weren't you all melted, Rhu?
RHU
(looking confused)
I... landed on a beach? I don't know. The water looked kind of icky.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hmm.
RHU
The beach I landed on... you said there was a beach on the other side of the portal, right? Full of holes, you said?
RADEK
Just one large hole.
RHU
The portal through the hole in pool by the tree with the little tree on it.
Hmm. There weren't any holes on the beach I landed. What was the water like?
The sea I landed beside was black and oily. And strangely calm, like there weren't any waves on this sea.
RADEK
It was unremarkable. The sort of thing you might see on a vapid postcard. "Good tidings from the beach next to this horrid space-warping rift!"
"Wish you were here!"
AMADI
(over her shoulder)
...You should sell that one.
Rhu giggles.
RHU
Different beach, then. Still, all these beaches ... it's a pretty strange coincidence.
RADEK
Maybe the universe is simply taking revenge upon carefree vacationers.
If so, I could hardly blame it.
Amadi finds the porridge on the sphinx. Apparently they managed to work out their differences after all, and the sphinx is now wearing the porridge as a hat. Or something.
AMADI
Aaaw, look at you!
Amadi smiles at them and attempts to scratch them both at once with one hand. Then she picks up the sphinx again, this time draping it around her neck as a scarf, and walks over to the thingmagog everyone seems so interested in, and the discussion of beaches.
RADEK
So, these holes. Would you say they were similar to what we've seen already?
Rhu realises he's forgotten something, sits down and prays to Hazz'ridan with thanks for bringing him back to what appears to be some form of relatively stable reality.
AMADI
A black cone... the focus of terrible energies... poured out on the blank sands, the black sands...
RHU
(nods as if he understands what Amadi is saying)
A cone is a symbol of Hazz'ridan. The pointed end symbolizing the dead end at the end of all paths.
I read that on the inte--
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Rhu can hear)
The universe is broken.
Rhu frowns.
RADEK
Yeah, well this is the nose of an Artiilie spacecraft.
RHU
Yes, it does look that way. Maybe that's should be our first goal? Try to figure out where these holes go? Maybe there's one planet somewhere with nice beaches and crap beaches that all the holes end up in.
I don't suppose Sarathi has beaches?
AMADI
Hazz is a meany. Next time you see him, tell him he can't have them, not on my life.
Rhu looks at Amadi, then looks vaguely skywards, indicates Amadi, and shrugs.
Amadi narrows her eyes at Rhu and harrumphs.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Amadi can hear)
Have what, my lady?
AMADI
(such that only Hazz'ridan can hear)
Hm? Oh, nothing. The china. I think. China? Is there still a China? I liked China.
HAZZ'RIDAN
(such that only Amadi can hear)
You're on.
AMADI
(such that only Hazz'ridan can hear)
Oh, bugger. I think I forgot my lines...
RHU
A sort of Central Station for holes. A final terminus.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Isn't that HERE? Since we're finding all kinds of holes to various places tied to here. We're in the junkyard of the universe.
RADEK
There could very well be more holes elsewhere.
RHU
There's only one permanent hole here. The only other one we've found has been temporary. Oh, and the one we got here through, I guess.
The sphinx tries to wander off Amadi's shoulders and falls to the ground in a clump.
Amadi picks up the porridge as it does this, and then looks down, bemused.
AMADI
Use your wings, silly.
The sphinx looks up at Amadi blankly.
SPHINX
Wingss?
AMADI
Yes. Flapping. Flying. Like this.
Amadi attempts flying. Nothing happens.
Amadi frowns.
SPHINX
The ground hungerrss.
The sphinx takes an experimental flap regardless.
The porridge, now affixed to Amadi's arm, wrinkles a nose for no apparent reason.
AMADI
I want cake. Does anyone else want cake?
Rhu nods.
RADEK
No.
AMADI
Awesome! Don't blame me if it tastes of blood.
Amadi makes cake, pulling it out of nowhere in particular. It's black and frosted.
Rhu is suddenly not very hungry at all.
Radek frowns intensely.
GREIBEL
Is that like a blood pudding?
AMADI
I don't know. You should try! What happened to your hands?
Amadi hands Greibel a piece of what indeed appears to be cake.
GREIBEL
Hmmm. Works for me.
Greibel takes a big bite out of the side of the cake. It's very sweet.
GREIBEL
MMM!
AMADI
(singing)
One side will make you bigger. And the other side...
SPHINX
Smaaaaall.
GREIBEL
Well, that's creepy.
AMADI
I am not strange! I am -
Amadi looks around confusedly.
AMADI
(muttering to herself, or possibly the porridge)
I'm perfectly normal.
SPHINX
The kind master. This one remembers. This one HUNGERSSS.
RHU
So we can't move the cone thing. I suppose in there, though. Should we go check out that note the strange woman handed Radek in the market?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sure.
The porridge wiggles.
Amadi makes some fruitcake and feeds it to the porridge in a horribly sloshy display.
Rhu backs away from her.
AMADI
Now what! It's not like I had a lot of time to rehearse!
Amadi sighs.


EXT. Street outside the vacant lot - morning
As the party heads out to leave, they encounter a guard standing at the entrance to the lot watching them.
The Gravedigger waves cheerfully.
The guard doesn't seem to want to actually approach, but blocks the way when they try to leave.
Greibel thrusts a piece of cake in the guard's direction
GREIBEL
HAVE SOME CAKE.
AMADI
Yes, do. There's words in it. You need words, yes?
The guard stares at the cake, takes it fearfully, and runs away.
The sphinx runs part of the way after the guard, then stops randomly in front of a random elf apparently just going about his business. The elf nearly trips over the sphinx, does a double take, and makes a wide arc around it.
The sphinx stares after him hungrily and then wanders through some other random passerby on the street, randomly grinning at them.
RHU
Hey! That was our blood cake!
AMADI
Huh. He must've been more starved than he looked.
GREIBEL
It's okay, teatime can always make more.
AMADI
Yes... there tends to be cake for tea, doesn't it...
GREIBEL
Or biscuits!
AMADI
I hope the words will do him good.
Greibel rubs his stomach cheerfully.
AMADI
It's time for war! It's time for blood! It's - what time is it?
Rhu checks his watch.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
TIME FOR TEA.
Any tea with that cake? I'm parched.
AMADI
No. The china was stolen. Possibly China too. Do you know China?
RHU
At least it's still working.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can't you just have it in a... jug?
AMADI
(she gives Gravy a disgusted look)
Would you dig a ditch with a fork?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, I might start. If the dirt needed loosening.
I have a pick somewhere for that.
RHU
We usually get our spaceship to make us tea...
RADEK
I have a mug.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aha! Tea is still on the cards!
AMADI
You're all mad. When were you going, again?
RADEK
Of course, it's meant for coffee and somewhat damaged, but I won't be needing one.
A passing philosopher runs past.
PHILOSOPHER
(screaming)
HOLES FOR EYES!
AMADI
(yelling after the philosopher)
TELL THEM HE'S WATCHING!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
AND THAT HE WANTS MORE HATS.
The philosopher screams, flailes, and dives into the doorway of a seemingly random building further down the street.
RANDOM PASSERBY
(shaking her head disappointedly)
Mushrooms...
RHU
They should tie mattresses on all the walls in this town. I imagine a lot of philosophers end up splattered against walls.
(to Amadi)
Who's watching?
AMADI
The... hat-guy, apparently. I really did think you were supposed to be elsewhere then. It was in the script, I could swear.
Rhu looks at Amadi a little suspiciously.
AMADI
I forgot my lines. It's not my fault. They should've given me more time.
Amadi starts walking in a direction.
The sphinx trots after her.
Rhu starts walking after her as well, and Greibel follows suit.
AMADI
(singing)
When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you have just have some kind of mushroom
And your mind is movin' low...
RHU
I'm pretty sure the address is this way. The gate we came in from is this way, and I think it was a few streets off from the market? If we can get back to the main gate, we should be able to find the market easy.
Rhu stops, looking around, confused.
Radek just starts going in the other direction instead, the Gravedigger following.
Rhu turns around and follows Radek instead.
RADEK
Hmph. First sensible thing you've done all day.
Amadi is still singing about chess and pills and mushrooms and white rabbits and either doesn't notice or just doesn't care that Greibel is the only one following her now.
Greibel tries to harmonise non-word syllables with Amadi's singing.


EXT. Coffle streets - morning
Amadi and Greibel wander down a few streets, still singing a bit. Nobody pays them all that much mind.
The sphinx grins at people as they past. Most of them ignore it. Some grin back. It seems to be very happy for some reason.
Amadi tells a lot of people to "Go ask Alice!" since that's the refrain of her song.
Most of them don't really respond to this, or look confused, but one guy nods and says, "She'll know."
Amadi eventually finishes her song (playing the last instrumental bit very, very well on an air-guitar) and stops. She takes a few bows to nobody in particular.
AMADI
(to Greibel)
We're here.
They're in the temple district. Entirely unsurprisingly, there are a few temples, as well as quite a few stand-alone statues and smaller shrines, interspersed with a good number of decently large trees.
Though there are plenty of people around, they have the particular space in front of a rather ornate but nonspecific building to themselves. There are a lot of potted flowers by the door.
GREIBEL
Here looks pretty groovy.
AMADI
Good songs lead good places. Shall we?
GREIBEL
We shall, m'lady.
The door is unlocked, and gives no resistance as Amadi takes Greibel's arm and walks him inside.


EXT. Coffle streets - morning
Even despite his appearance, Radek manages to get directions from a random passerby, and the rest of the party winds up heading toward the temple district as well.
On the way, a guard tries to stop them, saying something about a fine.
The Gravedigger just smiles at him until he leaves.
They come to the indicated address, where there were apparently supposed to be flowers, but there doesn't appear to be anything of particular note there: it's just some garden with a decorative well in the middle. Flowers are everywhere.
Rhu peers down into the well. (rolled 13 perception (natural 1))
RHU
Hey, what's that thing over theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Rhu falls in the well.
A long moment later, there's a sickening thud, like splattering treacle.
RHU
(rubbing his head)
Guys! There's - oof - an entrance down here.
RADEK
(from the top, decidedly not falling in)
Were you even looking for an entrance?
RHU
...yes? Yes. Of course. That's what I came down here for.
You, er, might want to lower a rope or something, it's pretty deep.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey. Ladder.
RHU
What ladder?
The Gravedigger bonks on a surreptitious ladder built into the inside of the well.
RHU
Oh. Yes. That one. The ladder ladder. I knew that.


INT. Backend structure - day
Amadi, Greibel, and the sphinx enter into what turns out to be a surprisingly cool building. The entryway is basically just that, an entryway, with a couple tables with odds and ends on them, but the thing that thoroughly dominates the spaces is the massive and vividly coloured rug on the floor.
There are three doorways. One of them has a sign on the door that says 'PERFECTLY ORDINARY BASEMENT' in large shimmery letters.
AMADI
Yup. We are definitely... here.
GREIBEL
Okay. So what are we looking for?
AMADI
I think you're looking for clues. About the Cataclysm or - yes. No. I was.
...Will be?
Amadi waves a hand as if it doesn't matter.
An elf holding a taped-up metal contraption stumbles out of one of the other doorways.
CONTRAPTION ELF
I don't know what you expected, but this isn't actually quite...
(seeing Amadi and Greibel)
Oh. Are you...?
The elf stops and then shakes his head.
CONTRAPTION ELF
No, no, this isn't.
He turns around and goes back into the other room.
GREIBEL
What a nice man.
AMADI
Clues. Because all the holes are bad. They need patching. You think. He thinks. We'll see, I guess. I have holes.
GREIBEL
Amadi, dear. Do you think anything suspicious might be happening in that perfectly ordinary basement?
AMADI
Everything is suspicious. Do you want to go there? A lot of suspiciousness will be amassing there if we enter.
GREIBEL
Ah, so we're the suspicious ones?
AMADI
You are veeeery suspicious. I've got my hair on you.
(she opens the door to the basement)
C'mon.
GREIBEL
Glad to be of hair-holding service...
They head down.


INT. Secret passage entrance - day
Radek climbs down and joins Rhu at the bottom of the well.
Rhu tries the door, but it's locked.
Radek tries to pick the lock, but it doesn't work. (rolled 19 thievery) He tries again. (rolled 22 thievery) This gets the door open.
Behind it is another door.
The Gravedigger drops down behind them.
RHU
There's nothing quite as annoying as a path pretending to be a dead end. A fake dead end is a pretty rotten thing.
Radek tries it, finds it to be also locked, and then just attacks it with the concussive force of raw thunder. (rolled 21 attack)
The door falls open partially, and Rhu pulls it open the rest of the way, revealing another locked door behind it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
YOU HAVE DOOR PROBLEMS?
RADEK
YES!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GRAVY POWER.
The Gravedigger charges the third door with his horns. (rolled 24 attack) It falls off its hinges, revealing yet another locked door behind it.
Unlike the other doors, which were at least similar too each other, however, this new door isn't even remotely the same style as the others, as though from from another culture entirely.
RHU
Hmmm. I wonder if this is some kind of mental or magic trick. Like Telestorian dolls.
RADEK
It's a frustrating one regardless.
RHU
That door is many doors, you guys.
RADEK
Great. Make it many splinters.
Rhu tries attacking the new door with radiant vengeance. (rolled 9 attack) He bounces off.
Then he tries just hitting it with his maul. (rolled 20 attack) This puts a small dent in it.
RHU
Could one of you guys get this? Sorry.


INT. Stairs - underground complex
The stairway is dark and narrow, and seems to go on for entirely too long, first straight, then curving.
Except neither Amadi nor Greibel even notice. Or care, at any rate.
Eventually they come to a door. It is large, menacing, and black.
GREIBEL
Ominous black door. Nothing bad can come of this.
Amadi opens the door.
AMADI
I'm already bad for you, Killion. So are you.
There's another huge rug on the floor inside, but this one is much darker in hue than the one upstairs.
The sphinx runs in and curls up in the middle of it.
GREIBEL
Awww, that's what my mother used to tell me.
AMADI
She wasn't really your mum. She bought you from a man.
Amadi goes around the room. It seems to be an entryway to a sort of underground hideout, a series of rooms and passageways beyond it, with blue magelights affixed to the ceilings.
GREIBEL
Oh...
AMADI
Pretty blue light... Little Will'o's. This place is... nice.
(to the sphinx)
Are you coming, Chess?
The sphinx gets up slowly, relishing the space.
SPHINX
Stories here. Old. Hungry.
AMADI
Yes. So very hungry.
GREIBEL
Should we feed it before it starts eating us?
AMADI
If it could it would probably have eaten me already... I'm very tasty.
GREIBEL
I can only assume so.
Greibel covers his eyes and starts pointing at doors saying eenie-meenie-minee-moe.
GREIBEL
That one! Shall we investigate?
AMADI
(she nods)
Yes. That one
Greibel opens the door, and Amadi whistles to the sphinx.
The passage is full of fungi clinging to the walls, but it's not long. It leads to a shrine of sorts.
A figure of a cat-headed woman is sitting on the table. Skulls of various small (and not so small) animals are scattered about the floor.
GREIBEL
What a charming little shrine.
AMADI
(to the statue)
Oh hey, it's you!
Amadi skips happily over pats the statue on the head.
GREIBEL
Is that, erm... the cat woman?
AMADI
Yes, no, I should really not be doing this. It's really... but then again, I always liked it, right? As did she. We? Me. Us. Yes. Or maybe we hated it. In which case this is even more fun! Take that, you. Hah.
GREIBEL
You have quite the way with words.
AMADI
Hm? Oh, words! You should give me words! Her. Words. Prayer! Do you have a hookah?
GREIBEL
I have a bong.
Amadi looks uncommonly suspicious for a moment.
AMADI
Yesssss... you do...
Greibel raises an eyebrow.
AMADI
Will you... pray, with the...?
Amadi gives Greibel a hungry look.
The sphinx gives Amadi a hungry look.
Amadi makes a suspiciously cat-like hissing sound.
GREIBEL
Um... Okay sure, let's pray.
Amadi nods vigorously and turns back to the statue.
AMADI
This isn't going to hurt one bit. I promise.
Amadi disappears into thin air again. The porridge falls to the floor with a splat.
GREIBEL
Huh... Disappearing into thin air sure seems like it would be pretty painful.
Greibel scratches his head and looks around. (rolled 30 perception (natural 20)) He knows what this room is. It's familiar, sort of. Her. Not Amadi, not even the one Amadi was, or could have been, but related. Another piece of the puzzle.
The bones on the floor were offerings, hunted objects for the Lady. The shrine itself is alive, the inside of something larger, but also outside of what they needed. They entered the wrong door, but before that they entered the wrong door.
The sphinx stares at Greibel.
GREIBEL
(motioning to the sphinx and Rasputin)
Come on, we have to find the wrong door!
The porridge hops back up onto Greibel's shoulder.
SPHINX
And the master? She was here. Her shadow. Her part.
(pawing at the ground where Amadi had been standing)
Heeeeere.
GREIBEL
If I know Amadi she'll be meeting us again further on.
SPHINX
Not her. Not...
The sphinx hisses and runs out the door.
GREIBEL
Oh, you mean... oh, okay.
Greibel follows after the sphinx.
AMADI
(such that only the sphinx can hear)
Nooo, let us sleeep for a bit, won't you... We're not ready to... to...


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Session 11 (Overview)
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It is impossible and not recommended.