Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 35"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
(BEGIN)
(Format)
Line 7: Line 7:


<screenplay>
<screenplay>
EXT.  
EXT. Dorgin town street, near the inn - Day
</screenplay>
 
<pre>
The Gravedigger drags Rhu and Amadi out of the water and the party heads toward the inn. Somewhere along the way Rhu actually finds his legs and remembers how to walk, squelching along behind the group in his wet shoes. He seems surprisingly happy and very talkative, babbling loudly about anything and everything to anyone who'll listen long enough. Which, startlingly, is nobody aside from Amadi, who listens intently to Rhu. Or looks like it, anyway.
Apheori (GM): Unless you guys want to play out Amadi and Rhu sloshing around in a pool of water getting bathed by the Gravedigger, any objections to just jumping straight to the inn to talk to George?
 
Gaurav: nope! Rhu can slosh in his own time.
Greibel follows vaguely behind and fails to get lost, despite all efforts.
Two quick questions, though: (1) is Rhu still wearing the mask? and (2) is Rhu still blind without it?
 
Ganelon: I certainly would not object to such a jump.
George is standing outside the inn, with a middle-aged woman talking at him. George looks grumpy and a bit hungover. The woman looks upset. George seems to be ignoring her.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
Gaurav: Thanks. To the inn!
WOMAN
Is BSG really around? I don't think we've heard from him yet.
...and there's rats in my basement and you guards should really be helping, why aren't the guards helping, you disgrace of a guard. Fuck you.
Bear Soup Guy waves a weary hand
 
Apheori (GM): Whooo.
RHU
Gaurav: Yay!
(to woman)
We met a woman once who had a raccoon in her basement, can you believe it, a RACOON, covered in oil, it was nuts, but then...  
 
Rhu rambles.
 
WOMAN
A raccoon? A rutting disgrace of a province. Completely useless, the lot of them, won't even do their jobs, and I've never even SEEN this one before...
 
The woman starts ranting at Rhu.


Amadi listens intently to the woman's rants, too. Or looks like it, anyway.


RADEK
(ignoring the woman and Rhu)
Morning, George.


Okay, so y'all get Rhu and Amadi out of the water and head toward the inn. Somewhere along the way Rhu actually finds his legs and remembers how to walk, and you don't lost Greibel.
Despite all efforts.
lose*
Gaurav: We can always find him by sniffing for hallucinogens.
Apheori (GM): Well, in this case I mean he stays with you.
Instead of getting left behind.
So you find George outside the inn. He looks grumpy.
Ganelon: I'd remark about it being nice that the gang's all back together again, but...
Well, Radek.
Apheori (GM): There's a middle-aged woman talking at him.
He seems to be ignoring her.
Do you care at all about this or just ignore her too?
Rhu squelches along behind the group in his wet shoes. He seems surprisingly happy and very talkative, babbling loudly about anything and everything to anyone who'll listen long enough.
Gaurav: That's not the woman whose basement we tried to de-monster and ended up burning her house down in Arah, right?
Amadi listens intently to Rhu. Or looks like it, anyway.
Radek: Morning, George.
Ganelon: I trust his judgment. She's probably worth ignoring.
And no, Gaurav, that woman was crazy and couldn't have possibly followed us this far.
Especially through the methods we used to get here.
Apheori (GM): Completely different woman. Probably a local.
Frezak (GM): You thnk SANE people would use those methods?
Apheori (GM): Unless it's a disguise.
You can roll to check.
Gaurav: What's she talking at George about?
Apheori (GM): Something about giant rats in her basement and how the guards should be helping why aren't the guards helping you're a disgrace of a guard fuck you.
George sighs.
George sighs.
George: (to Radek) Oy.
 
I'll be blunt with you, but I don't really remember last night that well. What were we doing?
GEORGE
Rhu: (to middle-aged woman) We met a woman once who had a raccoon in her basement, can you believe it, a RACOON, covered in oil, it was nuts, but then ... (rambles on and on and on)
(to Radek)
Apheori (GM): George looks a bit hungover, actually.
Oy. I'll be blunt with you, but I don't really remember last night that well. What were we doing?
Ganelon: Hmm.
 
I don't know if I have a cure for that.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): ...admittedly this is more because I forgot what happened that session myself than anything else. >.>
You offered to take us to the dimensional rift causing problems for this world. And the universe at large, really. I've been thinking about how to fix it.
Woman: A raccoon? A rutting disgrace of a province. Completely useless, the lot of them, won't even do their jobs, and I've never even SEEN this one before...
 
Woman starts ranting at Rhu.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
The Gravedigger: Hey.
(to the woman)
This man is the last guard because the rest turned to flesh-eating zombies.
Hey. This man is the last guard because the rest turned to flesh-eating zombies. He's the last Guard.
Radek: You offered to take us to the dimensional rift causing problems for this world. And the universe at large, really.
The Gravedigger: He's the last Guard.
Now give him a little respect, okay? He has a ton of work without people bitching at him.
Now give him a little respect, okay? He has a ton of work without people bitching at him.
Radek: I've been thinking about how to fix it.
 
Apheori (GM): The woman's mouth slowly drops open, and then she points accusingly at George.
The woman's mouth slowly drops open, and then she points accusingly at George.
Woman: WHAT DID YOU DO?
 
Frezak (GM): everyone okay with me relocating her?
WOMAN
WHAT DID YOU DO?
 
George finally turns and gives her a surprisingly powerful hungover glare.
George finally turns and gives her a surprisingly powerful hungover glare.
Amadi listens intently to the woman's rants, too.
 
Amadi: (Or looks like it, anyway.)
The Gravedigger picks up the woman with his mighty hands. The woman gasps indignantly and starts flailing, but he just goes to the other side of the square and puts her down and gives her a stern look.
Apheori (GM): George's response to Radek dependso n what Gravy does with the woman.
 
Gaurav: Frezak: do it.
The woman yells at the Gravedigger a bit, then walks off in a huff.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will pick up the woman.
 
With his mighty hands.
Some girls watching giggle at it. Or possibly at Gravy.
Apheori (GM): The woman gasps indignantly and starts flailing.
 
George snickers, then manages to stifle it and turns to Radek.
George snickers, then manages to stifle it and nods to Radek.
Frezak (GM): I will take this lady out.
 
Apheori (GM): Y'all are outside the inn.
RADEK
Like, by the door or something.
It involves... well, explosives. I'll start small, no need to worry.
Sorry if I didn't make that clear.
 
Frezak (GM): Oh.
GEORGE
I'll just go to the other side of the square and put her down and give her a stern look.
Right, yes.
Radek: It involves... well, explosives.
(he gestures down to the caving equipment at his feet)
I'll start small, no need to worry.
That would explain this spelunking gear. And you were going to blow up the... zombie stuff. In the cave. Over...
George: Right, yes. That would explain this spelunking gear.
 
George is covered in caving equipment.
George: And you were going to blow up the... zombie stuff.
In the cave.
Over...
Radek shrugs.
Radek shrugs.
Radek: Ideally.
 
George: Yeah. Sounds good.
RADEK
You all ready to head out?
Ideally.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: The woman yells at you a bit, then walks off in a huff.
 
Some girls watching giggle at it. Or possibly you.
GEORGE
Because you so hot.
Yeah. Sounds good. You all ready to head out?
Frezak (GM): I will plod back to the party and beam.
 
I was helpful!
The Gravedigger plods back to the party and beams.
Radek: Quite.
 
Ganelon: Likely none of us are even remotely prepared to explore a cave.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): AHEM
Quite.
Ganelon: I said CAVE.
 
Frezak (GM): I CAN DIG ROCK
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Likely none of us are even remotely prepared to explore a cave.
I CAN DIG ANYTHING
 
IF I CAN DIG SPACETIME AND NEGATEIVE SPACE I CAN DIG SOME BLOODY ROCKS
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): AHEM.
George: Great. It's a few hours hike unless you want to charter an airship, which is a few days out because they never actually come here.
 
George eyes Rhu skeptically.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I said CAVE.
George: Are you SURE you want to take him?
 
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I CAN DIG ROCK. I CAN DIG ANYTHING. IF I CAN DIG SPACETIME AND NEGATIVE SPACE I CAN DIG SOME BLOODY ROCKS.
 
GEORGE
Great. It's a few hours hike unless you want to charter an airship, which is a few days out because they never actually come here.
 
George pauses and eyes Rhu skeptically.
 
GEORGE
Are you SURE you want to take him?
 
Rhu returns George's skeptical look without pausing in his speech, which is explaining something about digestive tracts to no-one in particular. It's not clear when he last drew breath.
Rhu returns George's skeptical look without pausing in his speech, which is explaining something about digestive tracts to no-one in particular. It's not clear when he last drew breath.
Radek: ...As much as I would love, more than words can describe, to let him be someone else's problem...
 
He has an uncanny knack for finding his way back to us. Supervision is for the best.
RADEK
Ganelon: It's seriously uncanny, the places Rhu has come back to us from!
...As much as I would love, more than words can describe, to let him be someone else's problem... He has an uncanny knack for finding his way back to us. Supervision is for the best.
 
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): It's seriously uncanny, the places Rhu has come back to us from!
 
Rhu nods at Radek. He's now talking about saliva.
Rhu nods at Radek. He's now talking about saliva.
Amadi: He's god-addled. It's not his fault.
 
It's not even my fault!
AMADI
George raises an eyebrow, but then guides everyone out of town.
He's god-addled. It's not his fault. It's not even my fault!
Apheori (GM): Should anything interesting happen during the hike up to the cave?
 
Ganelon: Uh.
George raises an eyebrow, but then just guides everyone out of town. Which is to say he just sort of leaves and assumes everyone will follow. Which they do, though not necessarily all at once.
Gaurav: Conventional wisdom would have exactly one encounter --> http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0145.html
 
(To Amadi): Is it okay if I kill you?
 
Apheori (GM): Fine. You encounter a herd of elk.
EXT. Foothills trail - day
They're generally all over the place, including across the trail.
 
Rhu: Ooo. Look at that.
The party and George encounter a herd of large elk. The elk are generally all over the place, including across the trail. They look like fairly normal alien elk.
Gaurav: Any zombie elk? Should we ask Greibel to turn into an elk and investigate?
 
Apheori (GM): They look like normal elk.
RHU
Radek: ...I've hunted worse.
Ooo. Look at that.
Ganelon: In this campaign alone.
 
Apheori (GM): ...I should have handled the George guiding everyone out thing better. Because he didn't really guide. He just sort of left and assumed you'd follow.
Rhu finally stops talking and just watches the elk quietly.
Frezak (GM): I CAN TRACK HIM LIKE A GOD
 
With my serachlight eyes.
Gaurav: That certainly seems like a miniRadek thing to do.
Ganelon: Well, I followed.
Gaurav: Rhu's just happy to be back and would follow the party anywhere.
George glowers at the elk.
George glowers at the elk.
Apheori (GM): The elk just sort of stand around grazing.
 
Are you all there encountering these elk?
RADEK
Rhu finally stops talking and just watches the elk quietly.
...I've hunted worse.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you're all there. Does anyone do anything besides stare at them?
 
Frezak (GM): I have no reason to interact with them.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): In this campaign alone.
Ganelon: I'll shoot 'em if anyone wants me to, but Radek doesn't hate all life /violently/ most of the time.
 
George grumbles and walks through the herd across the path. They mostly ignore him.
The elk just sort of stand around grazing. The ones on the trail lick the trail.
Gaurav: Yeah, they're big and scary (unless you're Gravy). Let's leave them alone, unless Greibel wants to do his druid thing.
 
Apheori (GM): A couple off the path put their heads down and kick their legs a bit.
George grumbles and walks through the herd across the path. They mostly ignore him. A few move slightly out of the way as he nears.
WHO KNOWS ELK?
 
Ganelon: Definitely not me!
A couple off the path put their heads down and kick their legs a bit.
Frezak (GM): I think that at least me and Greibel have Nature
 
rolling 1D20+10
To Greibel it seems that the ones with their heads down are just worried that they might be after their food. If the party keeps going it won't matter. ''(rolled 33 nature (natural 20))'' Gravy gets a sense of this too, that there's no reason not to just go through them since for the most part they don't seem to give a damn. ''(rolled 22 nature)''
(
 
12
Greibel motions to everyone to just keep walking. Aside from Rhu, everyone does.
)
 
+10
Rhu lingers behind the group staring at the elk.
=
 
22
The agitated ones to the side of the trail become more agitated.
That's mine.
 
Bear Soup Guy: ELK NO! WE DID NOTHING TO YOU!
Rhu suddenly realises he's been left behind and runs to catch up, skirting off the side of the trail away from the agitated-looking elk and trying to stealth at the same time as he passes into the body of the herd. ''(rolled 24 stealth)'' Given that this is broad daylight and he's surrounded by elk, this doesn't really help.
rolling 1d20+13
 
(
The herd spooks around him.
20
 
)
Rhu tries to run up a tree ''(rolled 23 acrobatics)'' and then falls on his face because his arms aren't working that well.
+13
 
=
There are elk stampeding in every direction. Some elk run over Rhu.
33
 
Frezak (GM): You ARE the Elk.
RHU
They are you.
Oof!
You are all one.
 
Bear Soup Guy: The elk vanish to magical elk land where they will be safe, but away from us
Spooked elk run past the rest of the party, further down the trail, as well.
Gaurav: The elk join our party.
 
Frezak (GM): Gorram leadership feats
RADEK
Gaurav: They also sign authorisation forms so we can use them in Hole-related experiments.
(to George)
Ganelon: Hey, man
You see, this is what I was talking about earlier.
Without leadership feats, how could one play a three-kobold mobile siege crew?
 
(The PC is the one with the Important Hat)
GEORGE
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The ones with their heads down are just worried that you might be after their food. If you keep going it won't matter.
Eeergh.
Gravy gets a sense of this too, namely that there's no reason not to just go through them.
 
Since those don't seem to give a damn.
Greibel motions to everyone to just keep walking
Apheori (GM): Does anyone not do that?
Ganelon: Not I.
Rhu lingers behind the group staring at the elk, but if they get far enough ahead he'll realise it and run to catch up.
Apheori (GM): So Rhu lingers behind and then runs to catch up? Or does Gravy pick him up or something and just carry him?
Gaurav: Let's go with lingers, unless someone wants to drag Rhu along.
Apheori (GM): So nobody stops him?
From doing that.
Ganelon: Not I!
Frezak (GM): if he's capable of walking he can walk
Apheori (GM): Okay.
So Rhu lingers behind while everyone else walks through the herd of elk across the trail.
Meanwhile the agitated ones to the side (there are only a couple of these) become more agitated.
Gaurav: Can Rhu see that they are agitated, given that his mask makes everything look like muppets?
Apheori (GM): Does he have any nature?
(From Amadi): Yes. Sorry. Was dinnering.
Gaurav: +9
rolling d20+9 nature check
(
4
)
+9
=
13
If they're being noisy, that's probably fine.
(To Amadi): Excellent.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
5
)
+10
=
15
Nature again
Apheori (GM): They're not noisy, just... look like they're about the charge.
WHAT DOES RHU DO?
This is important.
(To Amadi): This determines whether or not you all spend the next hour running up a mountain chased by a herd of elk.
Apheori (GM) cackles.
Apheori (GM): Oh bugger, did I do that aloud?
Amadi giggles.
Ellemerr also giggles.
Gaurav looks around at everyone giggling and sighs.
Gaurav: I don't know how elk look before a charge. Is it big enough that Rhu would noticed through MuppetVision?
His passive perception is 24.
Apheori (GM): They have their heads down.
Gaurav: Eh, I'm going to say Rhu notices.
Apheori (GM): The agitated ones are looking at Rhu.
Rhu starts backing away from the agitated ones slowly.
Apheori (GM): Away from the rest of the party, which is through?
Gaurav: Oh. Hmm. I didn't realise the elk were between me and the party.
Is there space on either side of the path? Are there trees?
Apheori (GM): The agitated ones are off to the side, but you haven't necessarily passed them yet.
The elk are all around the path.
So... not really.
The party just went through the ones across.
Gaurav: No trees either? Hmm. Rhu will leave the path on the side opposite the agitated elk and give them as much space as possible to try to get through to the rest of the group.
He will also attempt some stealth.
Rhu:
rolling d20+5 stealth
(
19
)
+5
=
24
Apheori (GM): There are trees. You've gotten up into the foothills.
Gaurav: He will try to walk close to trees so he can climb them if that becomes necessary.
Apheori (GM): This takes him right into the rest of the elk.
The stealth actually works, but because he was acting so suspiciously right up until then, and then especially since he disappeared, the elk become even more agitated and the entire herd spooks.
Gaurav: Yay! Oh, wait, no, the other thing.
Just let me know when I should run up one of the trees.
Apheori (GM): Roll acrobatics to run up a tree.
Gaurav:
rolling d20+10 acrobatics to run up a tree
(
13
)
+10
=
23
Apheori (GM): There are elk stampeding in every direction.
Rhu tries to run up a tree and then falls on his face because his arms aren't working that well.
Gaurav: On the plus side, if Dave is anywhere within earshot, she'll probably swing by to investigate.
Apheori (GM): Some elk run over him.
Rhu: Oof!
Apheori (GM): Everyone else - spooked elk run past and you realise Rhu isn't with you. Unless you already knew that, in which case spooked elk just run past.
Radek: (To George) You see, this is what I was talking about earlier.
George: Eeergh.
The Gravedigger: RHUUUUUUU
Frezak (GM): 18 Con lungs.
Amadi runs around like a spooked elk. Joining in the party. For fun.
Amadi runs around like a spooked elk. Joining in the party. For fun.
Apheori (GM): The spooked elk stay well clear of the Gravedigger, and are soon all past.
 
Rhu: If you're conscious, you hear him.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Actually you probably hear him anyway.
(loudly)
Gaurav: Heh. They might be spooked, but they ain't stupid.
RHUUUUUUU.
Is Rhu unconscious? How much damage did the elk do?
 
Apheori (GM): How much damage should an elk trampling do?
The spooked elk stay well clear of the Gravedigger, and are soon all past.
Gaurav: It takes me 25 HP to be bloodied.
 
Ganelon: Well, uh.
A bit later, Rhu wanders up to the rest of the group, grinning widely. Like a lost puppy.
Frezak (GM): I'd just take away a surge.
 
that's how I deal with out of-combat damage ofa ny significance
 
Apheori (GM): Okay.
EXT. Foothills higher up - noonish
Ganelon: Yeah, that's probably the most convenient way since I'd just heal him and he'd lose surges anyway.
 
Frezak (GM): Since he's just going to heal it up anyways.
The party is getting well up into the foothills now, heading off the trail, leading up a mountain. There are trees and stuff. It's getting more stony and rugged.
Apheori (GM): Rhu loses a surge and is all sore.
 
Gaurav: Cool. That's 12 HP of damage. He now has a elk hoofprint on his left bicep.
A grasshopper flies into Greibel's ear.
I'll wait until we need it before actually repairing that damage. After my time in the void, it'd be nice to be sore for a while, I think.
 
Apheori (GM): So what do you do?
Greibel reaches up to move the grasshopper to sitting on top of his ear. While he's at it, he has a go at talking to it. ''(rolled 31 nature)''
Do you go catch up? Does anyone go back for him?
 
Rhu wanders up to the rest of the group, grinning widely.
The grasshopper warns him to beware the reflections. The water is dark and muddy. And sticky. It ate Bob.
Apheori (GM): Right, then.
 
Ganelon: Like a lost puppy.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Greibel assumes the grasshopper is talking about a fellow grasshopper drowning in a harmless puddle, even though I fully expect we're going to encounter a big shiny sludge monster that ate a human named Bob.
Gaurav: Like a puppy whose rolled around in the mud despite repeated instructions not to.
 
who's*
Greibel asks the grasshopper if Bob was kinda a jerk.
If anybody chastises him, he'll just grin apologetically and then point at the hoof print and go, "Elk!"
 
Ganelon: I've actually gone through that exact experience before.
The grasshopper helpfully informs him that Bob was Bob.
I could swear, dogs become more affectionate the dirtier and wetter they get.
 
Apheori (GM): So you all are getting up into the foothills. There are trees and stuff. The trail leads up a mountain. Yadda yadda blah you get higher. A grasshopper flies into Greibel's ear.
Greibel nods sagely.
Greibel reaches up to move the grasshopper to sitting on top of his ear
 
Frezak (GM): WHAT SECRETS DOES IT SHARE
GREIBEL
Apheori (GM): ROLL DRUIDINESS FOR GRASSHOPPER SECRETS.
Here's to you, Bob.
Greibel:
 
rolling 1d20+13
Greibel takes a huge bong hit.
(
 
18
AMADI
)
TO BOB!
+13
 
=
Amadi keeps running around wildly in circles around everyone, nearly knocking George over in the process.
31
 
Bear Soup Guy: This hike in the outdoors combined with the drugs earlier really has Greibel in nature affinity mode today
George ignores her.
Apheori (GM): The grasshopper warns you to beware the reflections. The water is dark and muddy. And sticky.
 
It ate Bob.
The grasshopper perches on Greibel's ear happily before flying away some ten minutes later.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel assumes the grasshopper is talking about a fellow grasshopper drowning in a harmless puddle, even though I fully expect we're going to encounter a big shiny sludge monster that ate a human named Bob
 
Ganelon: You better offer some condolences.
 
Unless Bob was kinda a jerk.
EXT. Cave entrance - early afternoon
Gaurav: "... with the drugs earlier"? Are you suggesting that Greibel isn't smoking something right now?
 
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel asks the grasshopper is Bob was kinda a jerk
The party finally comes to their destination. The surrounding landscape is all stony and rugged and full of trees. The cave itself is a small hole in the side of the mountain.
Gaur: Well, just his baseline stuff. But the drugs from earlier were quite special :D
 
Gaurav: ah I see!
They all stop in front of it.
Apheori (GM): The grasshopper helpfully informs you that Bob was Bob.
 
Gaurav: I'll brb in 10 mins. If Rhu needs to respond to something, make him grin widely and do something silly.
GEORGE
Greibel nods sagely
So before we head in, I'd just like to mention that I'm not liable for anything that's about to happen. So if the entire thing caves in or something, it's not my fault.
Greibel says "Here's to you, Bob" out loud, providing no context to the rest of the party, before taking a huge bong hit
 
Apheori (GM): The grasshopper perches on Greibel's ear happily before flying away some ten minutes later.
RADEK
Amadi: TO BOB!
(indicating the others)
Amadi keeps running around wildly.
Don't worry, it'll be one of theirs.
Apheori (GM): Did amadi run after the elk or just run like them and then run back?
 
Ellemerr: The latter.
GEORGE
Apheori (GM): Awesome.
I'm not sure how reassuring that is.
Ellemerr: And she's still running.
 
George ignore her.
AMADI
George: s
Don't worry, we won't get buried. We have an expert with us.
Ellemerr: Probably in circles around everyone.
 
Apheori (GM): Well, you all get to a cave. The surrounding landscape is all stony and rugged and full of trees. The gave itself is a small hole in the side of the mountain.
George: So before we head in, I'd just like to mention that I'm not liable for anything that's about to happen.
So if the entire thing caves in or something, it's not my fault.
Radek: Don't worry, it'll be one of theirs.
George: I'm not sure how reassuring that is.
Amadi: Don't worry, we won't get buried. We have an expert with us.
Amadi leaps elkily onto Gravy's back and beams proudly.
Amadi leaps elkily onto Gravy's back and beams proudly.
Radek: ...Yes, he should be able to dig us out.
 
If he doesn't decide to kill us so that we end up buried /properly/.
RADEK
Gaurav: Either way.
...Yes, he should be able to dig us out. If he doesn't decide to kill us so that we end up buried ''properly''.
Ganelon: Radek's bedside manner is not the best.
 
Frezak (GM): recap for me, gan
The Gravedigger waves a shovel.
dearest secretary
 
Gravy will wave a shovel
Rhu wanders around looking at trees. He confirms that they are indeed trees. ''(rolled 27 nature)'' Pines, mostly. One of them drips resin in his eye.
continue
 
Ellemerr: I did recaps. I can do that too. Yay.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Recap what?
So many zings.
Frezak (GM): nevermind
 
Ganelon: I mean, we messed around with elk, Greibel learned that "the water" ate Bob, which is likely a grasshopper...
George has lunch. Some of the others eat too. Greibel has a lunch of delicious drugs.
And now we're at our destination.
 
Rhu wanders around looking at trees.
Radek does that horrible thing he's known for. Extracting all the goodness out of food and leaving the mass behind.
Rhu:
 
rolling d20+9 nature check on trees to confirm their glorious treeness
RADEK
(
So you've seen the rift before?
18
 
)
Amadi rides the Gravedigger's horns without commenting.
+9
 
=
GEORGE
27
Haven't SEEN anything. Everything's coming out of there, though, so whatever the rift is, we should find it.
Apheori (GM): The trees are trees.
 
Gaurav: But are they glorious? Or (more seriously) in any way affected by living near a putative Hole?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): They look like fairly normal pines.
You have no idea how deep it goes?
One of them drips resin in your eye.
 
There are needles all over the ground.
GEORGE
Frezak (GM): So they're also druggies?
I wasn't there, and nobody would come with and investigate again. Not after what happened the last time. Nevermind that all you should really need is some proper protection, and if you never investigate you'll never even know what that is.
Ganelon: Reused needles too, I bet.
Greibel: So many zings
George has lunch.
Apheori (GM) drops pine beetles on everyone's heads.
Ellemerr adds the beetles to her dinner.
Ganelon: Radek does that horrible thing he's known for.
Extracting all the goodness out of food and leaving the mass behind.
Rhu examines the beetles
Gaurav: With boundless fascination
Apheori (GM): Does anyone do or say anything about the cave, or do you just eat or not eat and head in?
Ganelon: ...Sure.
Radek: So you've seen the rift before?
Ellemerr: I'm following... or, riding... Gravy.
Without comments.
Gaurav: Rhu doesn't eat, but he'll follow Radek around, lingering behind to stare fascinatedly at things.
Greibel has a lunch of delicious drugs
George: Haven't SEEN anything. Everything's coming out of there, though, so whatever the rift is, we should find it.
Radek: You have no idea how deep it goes?
Gaurav: George said earlier that "they sent in a unit. They came out zombie."
George: I wasn't there, and nobody would come with and investigate again. Not after what happened the last time.
Nevermind that all you should really need is some proper protection, and if you never investigate you'll never even know what that is.
Do you know what that is?
Do you know what that is?
Ganelon: "That"?
 
Apheori (GM): The protection.
RADEK
Ganelon: Um... I don't think I do, but possibly I forgot.
It might be best if you explain.
Apheori (GM): I don't know what it might have been either.
 
May not mean anything. >.<
GEORGE
Gaurav: Do we still have that sphere of protection thing?
(lamely)
Radek: It might be best if you explain.
I don't know. I mean, Everything has something you can use against it.
George: I don't know!
You go against normal undead, you take relics that repel them. Go somewhere with decaying particles, wear a suit that blocks the energy.
But I mean everything has something you can use against it.
 
Radek shrugs.
Radek shrugs.
Radek: So far, we've managed without.
 
George: You go against normal undead, you take relics that repells them. Go somewhere with decaying particles, wear a suit that blocks the energy.
RADEK
Maybe it's something you already have.
So far, we've managed without.
Frezak (GM): I only have one things for zombies.
 
George: Or maybe the group that went in before was all idiots.
GEORGE
And they did something really stupid.
Maybe it's something you already have?
Radek: Well...
(muttering)
Radek points at Rhu.
Or maybe the group that went in before was all idiots. And they did something really stupid.
Radek: He /occasionally/ wields divine power.
 
Radek points at Gravy.
RADEK
Radek: ...And I doubt he can sustain damage at all.
Well...
(pointing at Rhu)
He ''occasionally'' wields divine power.
(pointing at Gravy)
...And I doubt he can sustain damage at all.
 
Rhu waves idiotically at George.
Rhu waves idiotically at George.
Frezak (GM): UNless it's from magic cats
 
George: (looking at Rhu disbelievingly) Really?
GEORGE
(looking at Rhu disbelievingly)
Really?
 
Rhu nods.
Rhu nods.
Rhu: *Definitely* Elk.
 
I saw it.
RHU
It was HUGE.
'''Definitely''' Elk. I saw it. It was HUGE.
Amadi: I could be an elk.
 
I'd make a good elk.
AMADI
So would he! *points to Greibel*
I could be an elk. I'd make a good elk. So would he!
Rhu: (points at Amadi) She keeps saving my life.
 
Rhu grins at everyone, nods and everyone, and return to peering at beetles.
Amadi points to Greibel.
 
RHU
(pointing at Amadi)
She keeps saving my life.
 
Rhu grins at everyone, nods and everyone, and return to peering at pine needles.
 
Radek sighs.
Radek sighs.
Radek: Yes, really.
 
George: Huh.
RADEK
Well, that must be real interesting.
Yes, really.
 
GEORGE
Huh. Well, that must be ''real'' interesting.
 
George gets up.
 
GEORGE
Shall we head in?
Shall we head in?
Radek: Certainly.
 
Apheori (GM): George heads in first unless someone stops him.
RADEK
Gaurav: Brave man.
Certainly.
Brave, idiotic man.
 
Ganelon: I'm sticking to the safest position of "behind Gravy".
George heads up to the entrance without waiting for anyone to follow, yells loudly at the inside, waits for anything to happen, and when nothing does, heads inside.
Apheori (GM): Well, first he yells loudly into it. When nothing happens, THEN he enters.
 
Ganelon: I would be a little miffed if George died. He's a good fellow.
After a moment the party follows, Gravy in the lead with Amadi riding his horns, Greibel and Radek behind him, and Rhu wandering in after everyone else.
But I certainly don't believe that Radek has any capacity to /save/ him.
 
Apheori (GM): Hey, he maybe could. Depending on what happens.
 
So you all follow George inside?
INT. Cave
Ganelon: I should hope so.
 
Apheori (GM): Hey, you never know.
The entrance is dark, a rift drawing out into a long, narrow corridor, forcing the party to head in one at a time, and the Gravedigger to hunch over uncomfortably, bonking Amadi into the ceiling periodically. She doesn't even seem to notice.
OKAY. THE INSIDE IS DARK.
 
Rhu wanders in behind everyone else.
Then the passage opens up into a fairly cavernous cavern after a bit and everyone manages to spread out and stand up properly again. There's a steep chasm in the middle, and cracks and passages and stalagmites everywhere.
Apheori (GM): Also the walls are really tight, so you can only go through one at a time and Gravy has to practically crawl. Also you're all elves so you can see anyway.
 
Ganelon: Huh.
At some point, George puts on some funky goggles, but the others' space-elven eyes can still see well enough without help.
Apheori (GM): It opens up into something pretty cavernous after a bit and you all can spread out and stand up properly again.
 
George is wearing funky goggles.
GEORGE
You all are in a large cave room thing. It's all steep around and there are cracks and passages and stalagmites.
(pointing into the pit)
There's also a massive pit before you.
Down there. See how it's glowing?
George: (pointing into the pit) Down there. See how it's glowing?
 
Apheori (GM): Unless you're Greibel or Amadi, d20s to see how it's glowing.
Greibel, Amadi, and Radek ''(rolled 19 reality)'' see it.
Ganelon:
 
rolling 1d20
To Gravy it just looks like a deep pit.
(
 
19
To Rhu, everything is just hairly and he sees a pit of really long hairs snaking up at him. Even the hairs are hairy. ''(rolled 8 reality)''
)
 
=
Rhu backs up against the wall away from the pit, but doesn't run away.
19
 
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
12
)
=
12
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Rhu: EVERYTHING IS HAIRY AND YOU SEE A PIT OF REALLY LONG HAIRS SNAKING UP AT YOU.
Radek: It's sort of glowing. Not really light, but magic.
Gravy: It looks like a deep pit.
Gaurav:
rolling d20 sanity check to not get freaked out by the hairs
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Rhu: EVEN THE HAIRS ARE HAIRY.
Gaurav: Eeks!
Radek clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
Radek clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
Radek: Yes, I see it. A magical disturbance of some sort.
 
Rhu backs up against the wall away from the pit, but doesn't run away.
RADEK
George: We'll need to get down there and check it out.
Yes, I see it. A magical disturbance of some sort.
George has rope and tools and stuff and starts getting them out and setting up to go down with rope.
 
Apheori (GM): ...I forgot what you call that. >.>
GEORGE
Ganelon: Rappeling?
We'll need to get down there and check it out.
Apheori (GM): ...yes.
 
He sets up for that.
George starts getting equipment out of his bag and setting up to rappel down.
Frezak (GM): Can't we just put the MEGAORB on a rope?
 
Then just jump down with it and winch it up each time?
RADEK
Apheori (GM): You could.
Oh, good, you came prepared with a way back up.
If you can get Radek to let go of it.
 
Radek: Oh, good, you came prepared with a way back up.
GEORGE
Ganelon: Let go of my precious orb!?
Yeah? How were you planning to get down?
Actually, yeah, I think he could live without it for a few minutes.
 
Literally live.
The Gravedigger grabs the orb from Radek, as well as all the rope, and hands someone the other end of the rope. Greibel winds up with it draped around his head.
If you want to be first.
 
Frezak (GM): I TOTES WANT TO BE FIRST
RADEK
George: Yeah? How were you planning to get down?
Here, watch.
Frezak (GM): I GRAB THE ORB
 
And.... all the rope;
The Gravedigger makes as if to jump in, then stops, chucks down a couple of glowsticks, and peers into the pit with penetrative Gravyvision. ''(rolled 38 perception)'' Amadi peers down too from his horns.
Radek: Here, watch.
 
Gaurav: How deep is this pit?
The sticks bounce down the chasm pit thing a long ways, and eventually plop into an underground river, which seems to have cut into a bit of a large room. There seem to be some random passages off the river, and there are also a fair amount of old bones and an alarming lack of bat guano anywhere.
Frezak (GM): And hand someone one end of the rope.
 
Radek hands the orb to Gravy.
Oddly there's no sound of running water up here.
Apheori (GM): You don't know how deep it is. It's not straight down, either - there is a serious of rather long steps where the rock shelves away.
 
Frezak (GM): I... suppose Is hould drop a torch to get an idea.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Of depth
River.
or I could USE GRAVYVISION
 
Apheori (GM): No, no. You're future elves.
RADEK
You'd use magic glowsticks.
...Water at the bottom, hm?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
 
Futuremagictorches
RADEK
Ellemerr: Am I still piggybacking Gravy? 'Cos that'd be GREAT.
Hand back the orb, Gravy.
Apheori (GM): Apparently.
 
So Gravy chucks in glowy things and uses gravyvision?
The Gravedigger complies.
ROLL.
 
Frezak (GM):
RADEK
rolling 1D20+20
So much for that idea.
(
 
16
GEORGE
)
What idea?
+20
 
=
RADEK
36
One could survive a fall with this, you see. Losing it in an underground river or drowning, however, are somewhat beyond its capablities to protect oneself from.
Apheori (GM): Man, how did you even get +20 on that?
 
Ganelon: He's Gravy?
GEORGE
Frezak (GM): gravyvision!
Maybe I'm just missing the obvious here, but if the rift is down there, and the zombies got... out... How did they get up here?
Apheori (GM): Gravy: As the glowsticks bounce down, you realise you can see around corners.
 
Frezak (GM): Actually, with Rhu it's 22
RHU
Ganelon: We call it Gravyvision for a good reason.
(mumbles)
Apheori (GM): But you called it gravyvision when it was +8. Whereas this is actually impressive.
They must have climbed the hairs. All the little hairs. All the big hairs. The big hairs with the little hairs on them.
Frezak (GM): It's still gravyvision if I don't use my power.
 
Ganelon: He's had a power to give him ludicrous bonuses to perception for ages now.
RADEK
Gaurav: I think Rhu only gives +1 to perception for allies within five squares?
...That is curious. You're certain they came out of the cave's mouth?
Ganelon: I think he got it at level 2.
 
Frezak (GM): yeah, it's my L2 utility.
'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I could heal Rhu. By slapping him.
Apheori (GM): Well, whatever. The bit chasm pit thing goes down a ways, and eventually opens up on an underground river, which seems to have cut into a bit of a large room, and some random passages. There are lots of old bones and an alarming lack of bat guano anywhere.
 
Ah.
GEORGE
Frezak (GM): Do we have enough rope to reach down?
Maybe they got carried out the river? Zombies wouldn't need to breathe...
Since we should all have a ton of rope.
 
Apheori (GM): Since it goes down in shelves, easily. To go all the way down without resetting it up each time? Possibly.
RHU
Frezak (GM): How much possibleness?
(focusses slightly)
Well, what if you guys rappell and I just make sure there are no terrible things?
Maybe they climbed up? Or there's some way ...
If there's something bad I have Amadi.
 
Apheori (GM): Lots of possibleness.
RADEK
Frezak (GM): Who will make tea.
It's possible that the water is tainted. We observed a... similar phenomenon elsewhere. Though the rift needed to be in constant contact with the liquid to exert any ill effects.
Gaurav: And sandwiches.
 
Radek: ...Water at the bottom, hm?
GEORGE
Apheori (GM): You can't hear the water.
Well, it had to be this cave because it's the only thing in common between all the affected areas. The kids would come in and hear voices, too. Said something about a whistling hole...
That is odd.
Radek: Hand back the orb, Gravy.
Frezak (GM): awwww
I comply, of course.
because everyone shoiuld obey grumps
Ganelon: You avoid a stern look.
Radek: So much for that idea.
George: What idea?
Radek: One could survive a fall with this, you see. Losing it in an underground river or drowning, however, are somewhat beyond its capablities to protect oneself from.
Frezak (GM): Hrmph!
Ganelon: It's also oodles of fun to get hit in the face with a shovel while holding it.
Frezak (GM): Shoulda got a Tenser.
's disk
George: Maybe I'm just missing the obvious here, but if the rift is down there, and the zombies got... out...
How did they get up here?
Gaurav: Is a Tenser's Disk that the thing we carried the Mouseforged around on?
Frezak (GM): yeah
Since it just floats down
We can just pile on and waft to the bottom
Rhu: (mumbles) They must have climbed the hairs. All the little hairs. All the big hairs. The big hairs with the little hairs on them.
Radek: ...That is curious. You're certain they came out of the cave's mouth?
Frezak (GM): I could heal Rhu
By slapping him
George: Maybe they got carried out the river.
Zombies wouldn't need to breathe...
Rhu: (focusses slightly) Maybe they climbed up? Or there's some way ...
Radek: It's possible that the water is tainted.
We observed a... similar phenomenon elsewhere.
Though the rift needed to be in constant contact with the liquid to exert any ill effects.
Apheori (GM): Agh, I'll be right back.
Something something has to be this because noises I'll actually write it out when I get back.
Ganelon: ...Right.
Apheori (GM): Sorry.
George: Well, it had to be this cave because it's the only thing in common between all the affected areas.
The kids would come in and hear voices, too. Said something about a hole...
If it is in the river, that would be kind of not good.
If it is in the river, that would be kind of not good.
Frezak (GM): HOLES?
 
Gaurav: Does anybody have decent dungeoneering? There might be a hidden passage or something.
RADEK
Bear Soup Guy: I've got a 6
I'll do what I can, but we need to be closer than this.
Gaurav: Mine's 7
 
rolling d20+7 dungeoneering: look for hidden passageways, trapdoors, crevices, that sort of thing
Rhu looks around for secret passages. ''(rolled 27 dungeoneering (natural 20))'' He finds a lot of hair. Some interesting hair. He examines the interesting hair and it turns out to be a wall.
(
 
20
RHU
)
Hair!
+7
 
=
Rhu tries to hand the Gravedigger a wall. Then he opens a door in it.
27
 
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu becomes a cleverly concealed spike pit trap
RHU
Gaurav: hee
Guys?
Bear Soup Guy: punji was the word I was looking for
 
Radek: I'll do what I can, but we need to be closer than this.
It's not entirely clear whether or not the door is actually there, actually a door, or actually anything, but there is a passage behind it, which Rhu then proceeds to fall headfirst down into. He screams as he tumbles down an apparent flight of stairs. They're not exactly even stairs, and feel almost organic in a way, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense since it's just stone that conveniently shelfed off into fairly elf-sized stairs...?
Apheori (GM): Rhu finds a lot of hair.
 
There is some interesting hair.
RADEK
He can examine the interesting hair.
...
Gaurav: I'll hand it over to Gravy for Gravyvision purposes
 
Rhu: Hair!
RHU
Apheori (GM): You can't hand it over.
Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!
It's a ruddy wall.
 
Gravy: Rhu tries to hand you a wall.
Rhu finally stops falling at a turn in the passage.
Gaurav: Oh. Right.
 
rolling d20+14 perception check on the hairwall
RHU
(
(yelling up)
10
...I think I found something!
)
 
+14
RADEK
=
Sometimes, his penchant for trouble also pays off.
24
 
What is interesting about this wall?
GEORGE
Apheori (GM): It looks like a wall.
He seems intensely irritating.
You open a door in the wall.
 
Gaurav: Oh.
RADEK
Rhu: Guys?
I seem to be developing a resistance to that.
Apheori (GM): Rhu falls headfirst into the wall.
 
Radek: ...
Radek heads to check out the newly-opened passage, and George packs up his gear and follows.
Apheori (GM): I WANT POPCORN.
 
I mean...
All in all, it looks like a crevice. With steps. Going down. They feel a cool, wet breeze coming up, and hear the sound of water, far below.
Gaurav: If they just see me fall, I stick my head back out and wave at them to follow me. If I really fall, I scream as I fall.
 
Apheori (GM): You really fall.
Everyone winds up around Rhu. Someone helps him up, and the party heads down the stairs as a group this time, with Greibel now taking point, for whatever reason.
Apparently down a flight of stairs.
 
Gaurav: One of my housemates was eating some last night. Should be some around.
As they descend, voices rise around them, getting louder as they get closer, but they're disorganised, jumbled, and all a bit on top of each other.
Rhu: Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!
 
... I think I found something!
 
Apheori (GM): They're not exactly even stairs, and feel almost organic in a way, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense since it's just stone that conveniently shelfed off into fairly elf-sized stairs...?
INT. Cave cavern thing
Gaurav: Organic as in natural, not organic as in alive, right?
 
Radek: Sometimes, his penchant for trouble also pays off.
The stairs spill the party out into another cavern. This one is dark and full of voices that nobody but Greibel and Amadi can understand.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Well, it comes across as natural. It also comes across as something that might have grown.
 
Somehow.
George looks a bit pained, probably due to the voices.
Gaurav: Has Rhu stopped at the foot of the stairs? And does he get any falling-down-stairs-clumsily damage?
 
George: He seems intensely irritating.
RHU
Gaurav: I could acrobatics to catch myself mid-fall.
(whispering to Greibel)
Apheori (GM): Rhu stops at a random landing. Which is to say a somewhat larger step. They keep going.
Can you see the weird shapes moving through the hair?
Radek: I seem to be developing a resistance to that.
 
Rhu:
GREIBEL
rolling d20+14 perception check to see where I am
Um... no.
(
 
6
RHU
)
(he nods)
+14
It's probably the mask, then. It's an odd mask.
=
 
20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's a crevice. With steps. Going down.
(loudly)
You can feel a cool, wet breeze coming up, and hear the sound of water.
HEEELLLLOOOOOO?
Gaurav: As long as there are no obvious threats, I'll shout up for everyone else to come down this way.
 
Rhu takes out a glow light, and then realises, elf, so puts it away again.
The hello? echoes. The voices scatter in its wake like a swarm of tuna, then fill the emptiness again when the echoes subside.
Ganelon: I'll gladly descend the steps.
 
Like a sensible person, though. With my feet.
Apheori (GM): Elves still need some light to see.
If they can see at all.
Which, technically, Rhu can't.
George packs everything up and follows Radek.
Gaurav waits for everyone else to catch up; in particular, he'd rather not be in the lead going down
Rhu waits for everyone else to catch up; in particular, he'd rather not be in the lead going down
Apheori (GM): Have we lost BSG and Frezak/
?
Frezak (GM): I'm here.
Apheori (GM): So just BSG, who probably passed out?
Oaky.
Y'all head down the stairs. Does anyone take point?
Bear Soup Guy: I'm here
Apheori (GM): AHAH.
Okay, so Greibel winds up in the lead if nobody else aims for it.
Greibel: You're getting closer to something horrible and you can hear voices from whatever's ahead. They're getting louder as you get closer, but they're disorganised, jumbled, and all a bit on top of each other.
Gaurav: Gravy should be in the lead.
... oh dear.
Bear Soup Guy: pfff
Standard cave sounds, clearly
Gaurav: It's just the wind
Bear Soup Guy: ONWARD
Gaurav: Mildly disorganized wind
Bear Soup Guy: Wind and insects
Ganelon: Of course.
Frezak (GM): FORWAAAAARDS
Bear Soup Guy: Just call me the Warsong Commander
Apheori (GM): The stairs end spilling out into another cavern.
This one is dark and full of voices that nobody but Greibel and Amadi can understand.
George looks a bit pained.
Ganelon: What's up with him?
Apheori (GM): Rhu can see weird shapes moving through the hair.
You'd have to ask him.
Rhu: (whispers to Greibel) Can you see the weird shapes moving through the hair?
(To Greibel): He's seeing the shapes of things displaced in time.
Greibel: Um....no.
(To Greibel): It's not something he should be seeing.
(To Greibel): And why it has hair in it... well, that's just gross.
Ganelon: I'd rather Insight than ask.
(From Greibel): It definitely is!
Ganelon: Even if Radek is bad at that
rolling 1d20+4
(
18
)
+4
=
22
Rhu: (nods) It's probably the mask, then. It's an odd mask.
Apheori (GM): Radek: It looks like the place is giving him a headache.
Especially the voices. Maube.
maybe
Ganelon: ...Can Radek hear these voices?
I guess so, but best to ask.
Apheori (GM): You can hear them, but they're fairly distant and you can't make anything distinct out.
Frezak (GM): Unless anyone is going to stop me I'm going to HEEELLLLOOOOOO?
Ganelon: Go ahead.
Ellemerr: If there is no natural echo, Amadi will provide one.
The Gravedigger: HEEELLLLOOOOOO?
Apheori (GM): It echoes. The voices scatter like a swarm of tuna.
Then they fill the emptiness again when the echoes subside.
Radek: Hmph.
Ganelon: Arcana scan!
George winces.
George winces.
Amadi: Elloooo ellooo elloo ooo oooooo
 
AMADI
Elloooo ellooo elloo ooo oooooo.
 
Amadi fades out and then comes back with ghosty noises instead.
Amadi fades out and then comes back with ghosty noises instead.
Radek:
 
rolling 1d20+12
RADEK
(
Hmph.
20
 
)
Radek has a go at detecting the source of all of this. ''(rolled 32 arcana (natural 20))'' He determines the oddities to be the magic effect of a hole, apparently in the next room.
+12
 
=
RADEK
32
This is it, alright. Be careful, all of you. There's something off about this one.
Apheori (GM): Radek: It's the magic effect of a hole. It's in the next room. You'll need to be really careful with it, because it's not like the previous ones...
 
Radek: This is it, alright.
Be careful, all of you. There's something off about this one.
George puts on his industrial earmuffs and grumbles.
George puts on his industrial earmuffs and grumbles.
Ganelon: I s'pose I'll have a proper look at it.
 
In the next room, as you said.
Amadi eyes the earmuffs with a very childish "I want one of those" look.
Amadi eyes the earmuffs with a very childish "I want one of those" look.
Apheori (GM): Radek goes into the next room!
And your dm falls asleep.


 
Without further ado, Radek goes into the next room to check it out.
</pre>
</screenplay>


{{holes nav
{{holes nav

Revision as of 21:38, 8 February 2015

≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 35 (Overview)
EXT. Dorgin town street, near the inn - Day
The Gravedigger drags Rhu and Amadi out of the water and the party heads toward the inn. Somewhere along the way Rhu actually finds his legs and remembers how to walk, squelching along behind the group in his wet shoes. He seems surprisingly happy and very talkative, babbling loudly about anything and everything to anyone who'll listen long enough. Which, startlingly, is nobody aside from Amadi, who listens intently to Rhu. Or looks like it, anyway.
Greibel follows vaguely behind and fails to get lost, despite all efforts.
George is standing outside the inn, with a middle-aged woman talking at him. George looks grumpy and a bit hungover. The woman looks upset. George seems to be ignoring her.
WOMAN
...and there's rats in my basement and you guards should really be helping, why aren't the guards helping, you disgrace of a guard. Fuck you.
RHU
(to woman)
We met a woman once who had a raccoon in her basement, can you believe it, a RACOON, covered in oil, it was nuts, but then...
Rhu rambles.
WOMAN
A raccoon? A rutting disgrace of a province. Completely useless, the lot of them, won't even do their jobs, and I've never even SEEN this one before...
The woman starts ranting at Rhu.
Amadi listens intently to the woman's rants, too. Or looks like it, anyway.
RADEK
(ignoring the woman and Rhu)
Morning, George.
George sighs.
GEORGE
(to Radek)
Oy. I'll be blunt with you, but I don't really remember last night that well. What were we doing?
RADEK
You offered to take us to the dimensional rift causing problems for this world. And the universe at large, really. I've been thinking about how to fix it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(to the woman)
Hey. This man is the last guard because the rest turned to flesh-eating zombies. He's the last Guard.
Now give him a little respect, okay? He has a ton of work without people bitching at him.
The woman's mouth slowly drops open, and then she points accusingly at George.
WOMAN
WHAT DID YOU DO?
George finally turns and gives her a surprisingly powerful hungover glare.
The Gravedigger picks up the woman with his mighty hands. The woman gasps indignantly and starts flailing, but he just goes to the other side of the square and puts her down and gives her a stern look.
The woman yells at the Gravedigger a bit, then walks off in a huff.
Some girls watching giggle at it. Or possibly at Gravy.
George snickers, then manages to stifle it and nods to Radek.
RADEK
It involves... well, explosives. I'll start small, no need to worry.
GEORGE
Right, yes.
(he gestures down to the caving equipment at his feet)
That would explain this spelunking gear. And you were going to blow up the... zombie stuff. In the cave. Over...
Radek shrugs.
RADEK
Ideally.
GEORGE
Yeah. Sounds good. You all ready to head out?
The Gravedigger plods back to the party and beams.
RADEK
Quite.
Ganelon (Radek): Likely none of us are even remotely prepared to explore a cave.
Frezak (Gravy): AHEM.
Ganelon (Radek): I said CAVE.
Frezak (Gravy): I CAN DIG ROCK. I CAN DIG ANYTHING. IF I CAN DIG SPACETIME AND NEGATIVE SPACE I CAN DIG SOME BLOODY ROCKS.
GEORGE
Great. It's a few hours hike unless you want to charter an airship, which is a few days out because they never actually come here.
George pauses and eyes Rhu skeptically.
GEORGE
Are you SURE you want to take him?
Rhu returns George's skeptical look without pausing in his speech, which is explaining something about digestive tracts to no-one in particular. It's not clear when he last drew breath.
RADEK
...As much as I would love, more than words can describe, to let him be someone else's problem... He has an uncanny knack for finding his way back to us. Supervision is for the best.
Ganelon (Radek): It's seriously uncanny, the places Rhu has come back to us from!
Rhu nods at Radek. He's now talking about saliva.
AMADI
He's god-addled. It's not his fault. It's not even my fault!
George raises an eyebrow, but then just guides everyone out of town. Which is to say he just sort of leaves and assumes everyone will follow. Which they do, though not necessarily all at once.


EXT. Foothills trail - day
The party and George encounter a herd of large elk. The elk are generally all over the place, including across the trail. They look like fairly normal alien elk.
RHU
Ooo. Look at that.
Rhu finally stops talking and just watches the elk quietly.
George glowers at the elk.
RADEK
...I've hunted worse.
Ganelon (Radek): In this campaign alone.
The elk just sort of stand around grazing. The ones on the trail lick the trail.
George grumbles and walks through the herd across the path. They mostly ignore him. A few move slightly out of the way as he nears.
A couple off the path put their heads down and kick their legs a bit.
To Greibel it seems that the ones with their heads down are just worried that they might be after their food. If the party keeps going it won't matter. (rolled 33 nature (natural 20)) Gravy gets a sense of this too, that there's no reason not to just go through them since for the most part they don't seem to give a damn. (rolled 22 nature)
Greibel motions to everyone to just keep walking. Aside from Rhu, everyone does.
Rhu lingers behind the group staring at the elk.
The agitated ones to the side of the trail become more agitated.
Rhu suddenly realises he's been left behind and runs to catch up, skirting off the side of the trail away from the agitated-looking elk and trying to stealth at the same time as he passes into the body of the herd. (rolled 24 stealth) Given that this is broad daylight and he's surrounded by elk, this doesn't really help.
The herd spooks around him.
Rhu tries to run up a tree (rolled 23 acrobatics) and then falls on his face because his arms aren't working that well.
There are elk stampeding in every direction. Some elk run over Rhu.
RHU
Oof!
Spooked elk run past the rest of the party, further down the trail, as well.
RADEK
(to George)
You see, this is what I was talking about earlier.
GEORGE
Eeergh.
Amadi runs around like a spooked elk. Joining in the party. For fun.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
RHUUUUUUU.
The spooked elk stay well clear of the Gravedigger, and are soon all past.
A bit later, Rhu wanders up to the rest of the group, grinning widely. Like a lost puppy.


EXT. Foothills higher up - noonish
The party is getting well up into the foothills now, heading off the trail, leading up a mountain. There are trees and stuff. It's getting more stony and rugged.
A grasshopper flies into Greibel's ear.
Greibel reaches up to move the grasshopper to sitting on top of his ear. While he's at it, he has a go at talking to it. (rolled 31 nature)
The grasshopper warns him to beware the reflections. The water is dark and muddy. And sticky. It ate Bob.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Greibel assumes the grasshopper is talking about a fellow grasshopper drowning in a harmless puddle, even though I fully expect we're going to encounter a big shiny sludge monster that ate a human named Bob.
Greibel asks the grasshopper if Bob was kinda a jerk.
The grasshopper helpfully informs him that Bob was Bob.
Greibel nods sagely.
GREIBEL
Here's to you, Bob.
Greibel takes a huge bong hit.
AMADI
TO BOB!
Amadi keeps running around wildly in circles around everyone, nearly knocking George over in the process.
George ignores her.
The grasshopper perches on Greibel's ear happily before flying away some ten minutes later.


EXT. Cave entrance - early afternoon
The party finally comes to their destination. The surrounding landscape is all stony and rugged and full of trees. The cave itself is a small hole in the side of the mountain.
They all stop in front of it.
GEORGE
So before we head in, I'd just like to mention that I'm not liable for anything that's about to happen. So if the entire thing caves in or something, it's not my fault.
RADEK
(indicating the others)
Don't worry, it'll be one of theirs.
GEORGE
I'm not sure how reassuring that is.
AMADI
Don't worry, we won't get buried. We have an expert with us.
Amadi leaps elkily onto Gravy's back and beams proudly.
RADEK
...Yes, he should be able to dig us out. If he doesn't decide to kill us so that we end up buried properly.
The Gravedigger waves a shovel.
Rhu wanders around looking at trees. He confirms that they are indeed trees. (rolled 27 nature) Pines, mostly. One of them drips resin in his eye.
GREIBEL
So many zings.
George has lunch. Some of the others eat too. Greibel has a lunch of delicious drugs.
Radek does that horrible thing he's known for. Extracting all the goodness out of food and leaving the mass behind.
RADEK
So you've seen the rift before?
Amadi rides the Gravedigger's horns without commenting.
GEORGE
Haven't SEEN anything. Everything's coming out of there, though, so whatever the rift is, we should find it.
RADEK
You have no idea how deep it goes?
GEORGE
I wasn't there, and nobody would come with and investigate again. Not after what happened the last time. Nevermind that all you should really need is some proper protection, and if you never investigate you'll never even know what that is.
Do you know what that is?
RADEK
It might be best if you explain.
GEORGE
(lamely)
I don't know. I mean, Everything has something you can use against it.
You go against normal undead, you take relics that repel them. Go somewhere with decaying particles, wear a suit that blocks the energy.
Radek shrugs.
RADEK
So far, we've managed without.
GEORGE
Maybe it's something you already have?
(muttering)
Or maybe the group that went in before was all idiots. And they did something really stupid.
RADEK
Well...
(pointing at Rhu)
He occasionally wields divine power.
(pointing at Gravy)
...And I doubt he can sustain damage at all.
Rhu waves idiotically at George.
GEORGE
(looking at Rhu disbelievingly)
Really?
Rhu nods.
RHU
Definitely Elk. I saw it. It was HUGE.
AMADI
I could be an elk. I'd make a good elk. So would he!
Amadi points to Greibel.
RHU
(pointing at Amadi)
She keeps saving my life.
Rhu grins at everyone, nods and everyone, and return to peering at pine needles.
Radek sighs.
RADEK
Yes, really.
GEORGE
Huh. Well, that must be real interesting.
George gets up.
GEORGE
Shall we head in?
RADEK
Certainly.
George heads up to the entrance without waiting for anyone to follow, yells loudly at the inside, waits for anything to happen, and when nothing does, heads inside.
After a moment the party follows, Gravy in the lead with Amadi riding his horns, Greibel and Radek behind him, and Rhu wandering in after everyone else.


INT. Cave
The entrance is dark, a rift drawing out into a long, narrow corridor, forcing the party to head in one at a time, and the Gravedigger to hunch over uncomfortably, bonking Amadi into the ceiling periodically. She doesn't even seem to notice.
Then the passage opens up into a fairly cavernous cavern after a bit and everyone manages to spread out and stand up properly again. There's a steep chasm in the middle, and cracks and passages and stalagmites everywhere.
At some point, George puts on some funky goggles, but the others' space-elven eyes can still see well enough without help.
GEORGE
(pointing into the pit)
Down there. See how it's glowing?
Greibel, Amadi, and Radek (rolled 19 reality) see it.
To Gravy it just looks like a deep pit.
To Rhu, everything is just hairly and he sees a pit of really long hairs snaking up at him. Even the hairs are hairy. (rolled 8 reality)
Rhu backs up against the wall away from the pit, but doesn't run away.
Radek clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
RADEK
Yes, I see it. A magical disturbance of some sort.
GEORGE
We'll need to get down there and check it out.
George starts getting equipment out of his bag and setting up to rappel down.
RADEK
Oh, good, you came prepared with a way back up.
GEORGE
Yeah? How were you planning to get down?
The Gravedigger grabs the orb from Radek, as well as all the rope, and hands someone the other end of the rope. Greibel winds up with it draped around his head.
RADEK
Here, watch.
The Gravedigger makes as if to jump in, then stops, chucks down a couple of glowsticks, and peers into the pit with penetrative Gravyvision. (rolled 38 perception) Amadi peers down too from his horns.
The sticks bounce down the chasm pit thing a long ways, and eventually plop into an underground river, which seems to have cut into a bit of a large room. There seem to be some random passages off the river, and there are also a fair amount of old bones and an alarming lack of bat guano anywhere.
Oddly there's no sound of running water up here.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
River.
RADEK
...Water at the bottom, hm?
RADEK
Hand back the orb, Gravy.
The Gravedigger complies.
RADEK
So much for that idea.
GEORGE
What idea?
RADEK
One could survive a fall with this, you see. Losing it in an underground river or drowning, however, are somewhat beyond its capablities to protect oneself from.
GEORGE
Maybe I'm just missing the obvious here, but if the rift is down there, and the zombies got... out... How did they get up here?
RHU
(mumbles)
They must have climbed the hairs. All the little hairs. All the big hairs. The big hairs with the little hairs on them.
RADEK
...That is curious. You're certain they came out of the cave's mouth?
Frezak (Gravy): I could heal Rhu. By slapping him.
GEORGE
Maybe they got carried out the river? Zombies wouldn't need to breathe...
RHU
(focusses slightly)
Maybe they climbed up? Or there's some way ...
RADEK
It's possible that the water is tainted. We observed a... similar phenomenon elsewhere. Though the rift needed to be in constant contact with the liquid to exert any ill effects.
GEORGE
Well, it had to be this cave because it's the only thing in common between all the affected areas. The kids would come in and hear voices, too. Said something about a whistling hole...
If it is in the river, that would be kind of not good.
RADEK
I'll do what I can, but we need to be closer than this.
Rhu looks around for secret passages. (rolled 27 dungeoneering (natural 20)) He finds a lot of hair. Some interesting hair. He examines the interesting hair and it turns out to be a wall.
RHU
Hair!
Rhu tries to hand the Gravedigger a wall. Then he opens a door in it.
RHU
Guys?
It's not entirely clear whether or not the door is actually there, actually a door, or actually anything, but there is a passage behind it, which Rhu then proceeds to fall headfirst down into. He screams as he tumbles down an apparent flight of stairs. They're not exactly even stairs, and feel almost organic in a way, but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense since it's just stone that conveniently shelfed off into fairly elf-sized stairs...?
RADEK
...
RHU
Oof! Oof! Oof! Oof!
Rhu finally stops falling at a turn in the passage.
RHU
(yelling up)
...I think I found something!
RADEK
Sometimes, his penchant for trouble also pays off.
GEORGE
He seems intensely irritating.
RADEK
I seem to be developing a resistance to that.
Radek heads to check out the newly-opened passage, and George packs up his gear and follows.
All in all, it looks like a crevice. With steps. Going down. They feel a cool, wet breeze coming up, and hear the sound of water, far below.
Everyone winds up around Rhu. Someone helps him up, and the party heads down the stairs as a group this time, with Greibel now taking point, for whatever reason.
As they descend, voices rise around them, getting louder as they get closer, but they're disorganised, jumbled, and all a bit on top of each other.


INT. Cave cavern thing
The stairs spill the party out into another cavern. This one is dark and full of voices that nobody but Greibel and Amadi can understand.
George looks a bit pained, probably due to the voices.
RHU
(whispering to Greibel)
Can you see the weird shapes moving through the hair?
GREIBEL
Um... no.
RHU
(he nods)
It's probably the mask, then. It's an odd mask.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
HEEELLLLOOOOOO?
The hello? echoes. The voices scatter in its wake like a swarm of tuna, then fill the emptiness again when the echoes subside.
George winces.
AMADI
Elloooo ellooo elloo ooo oooooo.
Amadi fades out and then comes back with ghosty noises instead.
RADEK
Hmph.
Radek has a go at detecting the source of all of this. (rolled 32 arcana (natural 20)) He determines the oddities to be the magic effect of a hole, apparently in the next room.
RADEK
This is it, alright. Be careful, all of you. There's something off about this one.
George puts on his industrial earmuffs and grumbles.
Amadi eyes the earmuffs with a very childish "I want one of those" look.
Without further ado, Radek goes into the next room to check it out.


≪ PreviousNext ≫
Session 35 (Overview)
Retrieved from ‘https://wiki.zaori.org/w/index.php?title=Holes/Session_35&oldid=2657’

The first duty of philosophy is making you understand what deep shit you are in.