Holes/Session 36

Gaurav: Today is Sunday, October 26, 2014, since Roll20 doesn't do timestamps on its logs.
Apheori (GM): DRAWRING.
What are you, american?
Why do you keep borking all your grammars like an american?
Gaurav: Eh? That's how we write dates in India.
Frezak (GM): Oh gods
IT IS A DIRE SQUIGGLE
Apheori (GM): You know whose grammars are good? FREZAK'S. GANELON'S. ELLEMER'S AND ROB'S MOST OF THE TIME.
It's always YOURS that takes the most cleaning up.
YESH.
THE SQUIGGLE.
Apheori (GM) yells at Gaurav some more.
Frezak (GM): I often mess up my (s) and ('s)
Gaurav: I'll just talk less then.
Ellemerr: That's probably how I get away with my mistakes.
Apheori (GM): Actually the only one who's just about perfect is Gan.
THANK YOU GAN.
Frezak (GM): He was well programmed
Apheori (GM): Also sorry for yelling.
You don't need to talk less.
Ellemerr should talk more.
This dire squiggle is a cave.
Frezak (GM): Ehhhhh
Apheori (GM): You all enter the cave.
Frezak (GM): She talks too much alread.
*already
Apheori (GM): Not here!
She should move more talkies here!
Frezak (GM): EHHHHH
Apheori (GM): XD
Ellemerr: *shifty eyes*
Apheori (GM): AGH I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
Frezak (GM): Is that.... new?
Apheori (GM): ...no.
Frezak (GM): >.>
Ellemerr: I'm making dinner. And counting on Frezak to call me if anything happens. >.>
Frezak (GM) salutes
(To Ellemerr): Oh, you have another daily or whatever you can use. You can summon/command Dave to enact your vengeance and smite infidels.
(To Ellemerr): Because of your experience with the... lollipop you now know how to do this.
Ganelon: I really have to express my curiosity about just what you do plan when the time comes to think about this campaign.
(From Ellemerr): Great!
Ganelon: Surely there must be planning on some level, even if you're totally unprepared and making stuff up on the spot most weeks.
Apheori (GM): Uh... yes. There is.
Ganelon: But what is the planning /about/?
Apheori (GM): Just not nearly enough.
WHATEVER POPS INTO MY HEAD.
Wow, this is just sad.
My handwriting with a mouse is actually BETTER than with a pen.
Gaurav: It is larger.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you all enter the room in the cave.
The dangerous room.
The one with the funky sounds and voices and strange light coming out of it.
The one Radek detected as the source of the anomalies, the one with the hole in it.
Gaurav: The cave with the water with the Funk in it.
Apheori (GM): WHO LEADS?
Bear Soup Guy: I hope we get to battle George Clinton
Frezak (GM): GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVES
Ganelon: Carrying his shovel like a warbanner.
Frezak (GM): Like a... marching baton.
Gaurav: Rhu is happy to bring up the rear as he's still slightly distracted.
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: The cave room is almost completely dark, with no real light at all, aside from a single point in the air over a pool of water.
That green spot indicates the strange point.
The strange point flares for a bit as you enter, then dissappears.
Frezak (GM): I'll throw a flare into the room.
Apheori (GM): You can also hear voices, and sounds, completely chaotically and random. Some sound like normal conversations, others like the sound of waves crashing on a beach, crickets, yelling, a horse dying.
Generally only a couple at a time, with each snippet quickly being replaced by another.
Frezak (GM): Radek, check to see if there's planar damage?
Might be leaks from elsewhere.
Apheori (GM): The flare lights up the room showing what it otherwise a pretty normal looking cave room with no real corners, no horrible drops, just a bit of a shelfy thing with water deposits built up around a pool of water at one end.
Ganelon: I'm almost certain there /is/, but yes, I'll do that.
Apheori (GM): The water looks a bit thick, though, for whatever reason.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+12 Arcana
(
11
)
+12
=
23
This is to confirm damage to planes/reality.
Gaurav: Should I roll as "Gaurav" or as "Rhu"?
Apheori (GM): Well, it's a hole. It's different from the others you've seen, though - there's no real rip in space, and it's just... sitting there. A single point.
Either or.
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception check to see if Rhu recognises the voices from the many, many random voices he's heard so far this campaign.
(
13
)
+14
=
27
Apheori (GM): Gan: This hole does seem to span... well, actually, you don't know. It's just different.
Gaurav: Someone should check to see if there are any footprints on the ground, and particularly if they mostly head away from the funky water.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You make out a few specific ones. Someone shouting about a dog. Something that sounds like Hazz'ridan, but it's a language that makes your bones hurt, though you can instinctively understand the meaning. It's about time and rocks.
You realise it's all coming from the water.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, turn to the scienceman here.
Rhu: (advancing) Is that it? Is the Hole in the water?
Radek: This is... highly unusual.
Very unlike the ones before.
George: That... spot?
Radek: ...If I must rely on metaphor to convey such a complex subject, imagine that the universe is a length of fabric.
Most of these disturbances manifest as tears.
This is a hole.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Can you get Ellemerr? Gan rolled badly and I don't know how to explain this. I mean, he got the start, but... yeah.
Ellemerr: I am here. What?
Apheori (GM): Oh, okay.
Radek: A single, clean point. And judging from these phenomena, a highly pressurized one.
Ganelon: That's a bad roll? Seems pretty average to me.
Apheori (GM): It's not a great roll.
It's a fine roll.
I suppose a bad roll would have gotten nothing.
Ellemerr: So what should /I/ do?
Apheori (GM): A terrible roll would have cave in the ceiling.
...I dunno.
Ellemerr: ... Roll arcana?
(To Ellemerr): This one's a tear in time. They're all tears. People just don't think of dimensions well enough to understand that this is what happens when one gets ripped. ANY one.
Apheori (GM): But you... uh...
I dunno.
Nevermind. Forget I said anything and carry on.
AMADI: The room is awash with light, all manner of colour streaming out of the pinpoint in the air. You can almost see shapes silhouetted against it, mirrors of the people in front of you... unless, of course, you're just seeing their silhouettes...
Which you might be.
You should roll arcana.
Apheori (GM): Rhu, Greibel: Roll d20s, please.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
8
)
=
8
Amadi:
rolling 1d20 + 10
(
10
)
+10
=
20
Apheori (GM): Amadi: The silhouettes are reflections. It's dangerous.
George: Pressurised?
What happens if someone touches it?
Amadi: Probably something absolutely terrible.
Radek: Well, in the past...
The Gravedigger: I doubt it's going to rain cake.
More likely turn you inside out and leave you in a sun.
Radek: What was his name again, Azir...?
Ganelon: Calling in my "selective old person memory" card here.
Radek waves a hand dismissively.
Radek: Pah. In any case, he was never seen nor heard from again.
George: Assume a bunch of complete idiots came in here and found this. They probably touched it. But they came out again...
Unless, of course, *this* wasn't what they found, and it only became this after whatever they did...
Radek: Hmm. What did the idiots consider themselves qualified for, exactly?
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20 sorry, went afk
(
17
)
=
17
George: Fighting bears.
Rhu: I don't know, the pool Aziraphale fell into did look a lot like this. *And* there were zombies near it. No giant protective tree thing, though. And this pool isn't messing with our minds like the other one did.
George: Are you sure?
Radek: There are some undeniable similarities. I regret knowing so little about the problem at the time, or I might have been able to make a more accurate comparison.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You feel reflections in the room. Like time itself is converging on this spot.
Greibel bemusedly pokes at the air
Radek: Well, you all have your specializations.
The Gravedigger beams.
Radek: Get to work. And argue the theory before you actually /do/ something risky, please.
Gaurav: Do you think Gravy could perception-check the Hole to see how it differs from the one he fell through? Also, I can't remember if we think the portal Rhu fell through was technically a Hole.
Ganelon: It may be a little optimistic to expect this party to work intentionally towards a goal.
Frezak (GM): You mean the one I leapt into?
Rhu: Um, does praying to Hazz'ridan count as "risky"?
Apheori (GM) cackles.
Gaurav: The one with Dave. We didn't see you leap in, we were safely outside the compound. Eating sandwiches, I think. Rhu might have been in an alternate reality with sheep.
Apheori (GM): He didn't leap into that.
He almost got pulled in, and yes, that was a hole.
Amadi: Anything involving Hazz is risky.
Frezak (GM): No, I did leap into the one that I closed.
Radek: ...What possible benefit for us do you believe that would accomplish?
Radek holds up a finger.
Apheori (GM): You did?
Huh.
Radek: Spiritual enrichment does not qualify.
Rhu shrugs.
Gaurav: You never know. The last time that I prayed to Hazz' near a Hole-lake-thing, he stopped it from messing with our minds, gave us the power to understand the local speech, and I think refilled the pool. He has form with pools, is all I'm saying.
Urk, that should have been IC, sorry.
George: And Hazz is...?
Ellemerr: Still risky. :P
Gimme the alternate name that I keep forgetting, kind and wonderful DM.
Apheori (GM): Vitoi.
Amadi: Vitoi.
Radek actually looks just a little bit impressed.
Radek: ...A compelling argument! Irrefutable, in fact. If you think you can convince your god to contradict its own nature for the sake of all of our long-term goals, you have my... approval.
Frezak (GM): GOlly gosh.
That's almost as good as a pat on the head!
Rhu gives Radek a nervous glance, then begins.
George looks a little surprised.
Ganelon: I know well the ways by which a miserly man maximizes his paltry supply of generosity.
Surprise is paramount.
Rhu:
rolling d20+9 religion check to ask for Hazz's guiding light to show us the way to all our dead ends
(
13
)
+9
=
22
Ganelon: Radek isn't going to wait for the praying to yield results, however.
What he's going to do, I think, is sit down right about here and start tinkering.
Apheori (GM): The point crystalises and begins to glow again.
Rhu stays away from the Funky Water. He's watching Greibel and Amadi, neither of whom were around/awake the last time we had a Hole-pool situation.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
I've hardly even started and bad stuff is happening, isn't it?
(To Ellemerr): How the hell do you roleplay a god whose entire existence is a joke? I mean, literally, it's his joke.
Ganelon: Haven't even started blasting dangerously unstable compounds into this hole!
Apheori (GM): Well, you can do that now.
Gaurav: I have to leave in about an hour, but you should keep going if Exciting Things are happening!
Frezak (GM): I'm standing ready for zombles.
Finger on the Codrichun button
(From Amadi): With a lot of sillyness. Duh.
(To Ellemerr): Does Hazz seem silly to you? >.>
(From Amadi): Strangely cruel, actually. But I guess jokes can do that to anyone.
Gaurav: Greibel! Amadi! Do something.
Is there anything manmade in here? Or did the stairs lead down into what looks like a natural cave.
Amadi gives the silhouettes suspicious glares.
Apheori (GM): The stairs let to natural cave.
This is all... normal cave.
Amadi: Perception.
Amadi:
rolling 1d20 + 7
(
1
)
+7
=
8
Frezak (GM): You are transfixed by Gravy's manly posture
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You completely fail to notice anything in particular about the silhouettes.
And that, sure, why not.
Ellemerr: That is SO suspicious!
Radek mumbles to himself while he works on modifying one of his clockwork bombs.
Radek: ...What I can be absolutely certain of is that there is something - or nothing, but that itself is something - disturbing the magic around these phenomena...
...Happens /before/ the damage is visible. Need to be careful.
Ganelon: What he is going to attempt, is something really weird.
Predicated upon the notion that these holes represent an absence of reality, he is going to try and make a very small-scale reality bomb.
To cover up the damage, like... packing foam.
The kind that expands and hardens, not like... Styrofoam peanuts.
Apheori (GM): What colour is it?
Ganelon: Is that a question I would be qualified to answer, or Greibel/Amadi?
Considering the odd relationship of colours in this setting.
Apheori (GM): You can make something up. I just want a colour.
Frezak (GM): Paisley?
Bear Soup Guy: Paisley it is
Apheori (GM): What colour of paisley reality packing foam is it?
Frezak (GM): THe colour of the First Paisley
The Paisley Prime
The Progenitor Paisley
The Paisley from which all other Paisleys were born
Or Tartan.
THat's a very real colour.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
So does Radek use his bomb?
Or is he still making it? Or did he make it before?
I forgot.
Ganelon: He's modifying it. This is a non-rules interpretation of how Artificers work.
They put magic into objects.
And we'll say that it has a lovely surface of unpainted copper.
Maybe with runes on it now, I dunno.
Apheori (GM): Roll arcana just to be sure.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+12
(
9
)
+12
=
21
Apheori (GM): Okay.
No trouble there. Does anyone else do anything?
Ellemerr: I get something to smoke off Greibel.
Frezak (GM): I'm doing pretty much everything I can do.
The Gravedigger: Hmmm.
Ganelon: I made you a new thing, right?
What was it again?
Gaurav: Still praying.
Ganelon: 'Cause you let me keep the gloves.
Frezak (GM): Waterwalk boots?
Ganelon: Oh yeah.
Frezak (GM): NO I AM NOT WALKING ON THAT
NO SIR
Ganelon: I legitimately forgot.
You do not need to test out your new boots /here/ of all places.
Frezak (GM): Thank you
Apheori (GM): Though it might be funny if you do.
Ellemerr: Yeah. Funny.
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
Hilarious.
Apheori (GM): Ellemerr: What do you use to smoke it?
Or what do you do with it?
Ellemerr: STUFF IT IN MY EAR
Apheori (GM): Because I'm just going to say you get some herbs off him.
Okay.
Ganelon: Unburnt herbs in the ear. Of course.
A popular method of self-medication.
Apheori (GM): Gan: You finish modifying the thing.
Gaurav: I guess there aren't any bats or insects or blind crabs or anything in this cave. Are there any roots sticking down out of the roof of this cave?
Apheori (GM): Nope, just rocky.
Some hanging stala... thingies.
And a bit of drippiness.
Ganelon: Has Greibel nothing to do here?
We could use a weird tree.
Gaurav: We could!
Frezak (GM): I could stand and pretend to be a tree.
Nature Check to pretend to be a tree?
Apheori (GM): Sure.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
20
)
+10
=
30
Ganelon: Holy shit, man.
Frezak (GM): I AM THE ALL-TREE
Bear Soup Guy: OH NO, WE"VE LOST HIM
Ganelon: I didn't know trees grew in caves.
Frezak (GM): You just hear a fwoomp
Ganelon: Where did Gravy go!?
Frezak (GM): and then the sound of a tree growing REALLY REALLY FAST
Ganelon: Isn't that sort-of how Warden dailies work anyway?
Or do they mean "form" less literally?
Frezak (GM): Yeah, I was talking to the Hag about the Forms
And then I said "I hope I get a crit on this"
Apheori (GM): Welp, he seems to be a tree.
Ganelon: I would hang ornaments from your horns if I were in a festive mood.
Frezak (GM): What horns?
Ganelon: Your branches.
George: What the...
Frezak (GM): Right.
Gaurav: Does he have roots? And do they extend as far as the funky water?
Apheori (GM): Frezak: Do you?
Greibel starts skipping in a circle around the tree
Ganelon: Aw, that's just a mean thing to ask, Gaurav.
Frezak (GM): Nah, It's just camouflage, not transmutation.
You see roots but they only go down an inch at most.
Trickery!
They may wiggle occasionally.
Radek stands up and does a double-take at Gravy, but dismisses the thought that such a thing could possibly have once been his bodyguard.
Radek: ...Well. The first trial begins now.
Gaurav: It's not mean! It would have given us great insight into the precise funkiness of this water.
Apheori (GM): Does Gaurav need to leave? What's the trial?
Are you all doomed?
Gaurav: I do need to leave. I could hang about another ten minutes at most.
But you should totally finish trial 1 before ending today. I can read the logs later.
Ganelon: Okay then.
I invoke the awesome power of my HEDGE WIZARD'S GLOVES.
To do Mage Hand.
Amadi naturally climbs the tree.
Frezak (GM): Of course;
Ganelon: Conjuring a spectral hand of regular size which can float around and pick up or otherwise manipulate objects as I wish.
It can only carry like 5 lbs, but that's still plenty to deliver a ticking bomb into the hole.
Radek: ...You may wish to distance yourselves.
Frezak (GM): I AM A TREE
I FEAR NOTHING
Rhu backs away
Frezak (GM): I AM NATURE
Radek: This is an explosive, after all, even though it should be producing... reality, rather than heat or concussive force.
That is the theory, anyway.
(To Ellemerr): Oh, this is perfect. So utterly perfect. Waaaay better than I'd planned.
(From Amadi): Wheeee!
Apheori (GM): So you do it?
Gaurav: That's 10 mins -- I'm outta here! Thanks for a fun game everyone, and see you all next Sunday at the usual time!
Bye!
Frezak (GM): Have fun, Rave!
Ellemerr: No promises that we'll be on time next week. But have fun anyway.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios Gaur
Ganelon: If these guys aren't going to get to a safe distance, they had their warning.
In other words, yes.
Ellemerr: I'm in a tree.
Ganelon: From here, he starts the bomb's timer and then floats it towards the point in space.
Frezak (GM): You're in the safest place.
Ellemerr: Also probably safe anyway.
Apheori (GM): The bomb hovers on the point, covering it.
How long is the timer?
Ganelon: It's measured in rounds, so anything from... 6 to 36 seconds.
To be safe, I'll say 12.
Apheori (GM): Wheeee.
Nobody does anything in those twelve seconds?
Frezak (GM): I cycle oxygen
Ellemerr: Dangle my legs.
Apheori (GM): The bomb explodes with a weird floomp sound.
There's a bit of horrible light.
The silhouettes some of you saw before suddenly get a lot darker and you can all see them now.
Except Rhu.
Who can't.
Frezak (GM): I shake some leaves
Apheori (GM): You realise the silhouettes are actually outlines of your own shapes. The tree silhouette shakes some leaves as well.
Frezak (GM): *gasp*
Apheori (GM): We'll probably need Rhu. >.>
So next time.
NEXT TIME.
Frezak (GM): NEXT TIIIIIME
Ganelon: I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, GADGET!
Ellemerr: Hopefully, we'll be here on time. >.>
Frezak (GM): If anyone is Gadget, it's radek.
Apheori (GM): Yes, sorry. >.<
Ganelon: Well, he HAS gadgets...
But there's no way I would compare him as a character TO gadget.
Ellemerr: Heeee
Ganelon: Given how the character Gadget was a bumbling idiot who had to be saved by his daughter and a sentient dog.
Apheori (GM): He's not high enough level for that yet.
Oh.
Frezak (GM): hey, GRAVY helped you out with science.
Apheori (GM): So he needs to be hit on the head a few times for that.
Ganelon: Gravy's hypothesis was wrong! It just happened to also be thought-provoking!
The roles are reversed here, for the most part.
Apheori (GM): The best hypothesises are.
Ganelon: Radek is a calculating, efficient scientist who ends up getting saved regularly by a bunch of bumbling idiots. And Gravy.
Frezak (GM): Well excuse me for not being trained in Arcana, SIR
Awww
Thanks, man.