View source for Holes/Session 10

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<screenplay>
INT. Coffle constabulary no.2 dungeons - day

The pigeon philosopher is still passed out. The party is standing around outside his cell, about ready to just leave.

Aside from Rhu. Rhu hopefully shouts at the stoned philosopher again.

The Gravedigger rolls his eyes. Over and over.

The pigeon philosopher stirs, sits up slightly, and hits his head on the bedframe. Then he collapses again.

Rhu tries the cell door, finds it unlocked, and walks inside and tries to shake the pigeon guy awake.

RHU
HELLO EXCUSE ME BUT ARE YOU IMPORTANT?

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
WHAAAAH.

RHU
Hello! Sorry. We heard that you were a philosopher, and Hazz'ridan said you might be important.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Ugh this isn't... what...

He stares blearily up at Rhu.

Rhu waves at him.

RHU
Hello. Are you familiar with the scripture of dead ends?

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Isn't that... Fred has scripts. Don't... I... nnntgh.
Dead odds?

RHU
Dead ENDS. No?
Hazz'ridan the Mighty said you might be important.

Rhu looks at the pigeon philosopher suspiciously.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
It's this an in at whunnng. 

The pigeon philosopher tries to rub his eyes and winds up smacking himself in the face with the back of his hand.

RHU
(he sighs)
Important or not, you're certainly in no state to speak. Still, another dead end! That's something.

Greibel sidles in as well.

GREIBEL
Hello pigeon-head! CAN. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME?

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
NO... yes. Whah?

GREIBEL
DO. YOU. KNOW. STUFF?

The pigeon philosopher sits up, propping himself up against the bed, and grins slowly.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
NOPE!

GREIBEL
OKAY. THANK. YOU.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Don't know lots of things. Lot's. Lo'ts. More.
I can tell you things. Things you... you.

The pigeon philosopher waves a hand.

RHU
Yes! Tell us things!

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Things I don't know?

RADEK
Or knock yourself unconscious again. It might be amusing the third time.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Yeeeah.

The pigeon philosopher tries to grab Rhu. He completely misses.

RHU
Hey!

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
(waving something around)
Try this. It'll shooow you.

GREIBEL
That's certainly one way to show him. Whaddaya got there?

RHU
Try what?

The pigeon philosopher stares off into space, waving a finger around for a bit. He then reaches into his pocket, pulls out a mushroom, and hands it to Rhu, still staring off into space.

RHU
Oh. Thanks.

GREIBEL
Oh. He wants you to see what he sees.

RADEK
(he nudged Gravy)
If they both pass out at once, can you carry both of them?

Rhu examines the mushroom carefully.

GREIBEL
It's a drug, silly.

RHU
It's a snack, isn't it? Can you eat it? Some mushrooms are poisonous.

Rhu offers it to Greibel, who seems to know more about these things than he does.

GREIBEL
Heh heh. Yes.

The pigeon philosopher spills a bunch of other mushrooms on the floor and starts mumbling.

PIGEON PHILOSOPHER
Eyes... Eyes in the dark... Softly speaking, tendrils... shadows...
(he suddenly stiffens and jerks and starts shouting)
YOU CAN'T KEEP ME. YOU CAN'T. YOU CAN'T SEE. NOTHING TO SEEEEE.

The pigeon philosopher collapses and passes out again.

GREIBEL
Oh okay!
It's actually pretty weird that they let him keep the mushrooms in his cell. Oh well.

Greibel covertly picks some of the mushrooms up.

Greibel jogs back to the door to the cell.

Rhu picks up the other mushrooms and follows.

RADEK
Feeling enlightened, either of you?

GREIBEL
Yeah, you'll be joking when these mushrooms make us see the canyons of your miiiiiiiiind, man.

Rhu sniffs at one of the mushrooms, then takes a nibble.

RHU
Mm. Nice! This'll make a nice soup later.
</screenplay>




<pre>
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+12 Nature check on the mushrooms to see what their effects really might be
(
2
)
+12
=
14

RADEK
If you could understand even a fraction of my disdain for you, I suspect it would shatter what little remains of your disjointed consciousness.
Bear Soup Guy: D'UUUUUHH WAT IS PLANTZ
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You're pretty sure they're drugs, possibly hallucinogens from the effects.
Gaurav: hey, 14 is perfectly respectable! You definitely know this is a mushroom.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Apheori (GM): Who was Radek talking to?
Ganelon: For two super-experts in your respective fields, you guys sure are unlucky.
Gaurav: Begun, the cycle of despair and enforced walks into ponds has.
Frezak (GM): You want me to roll on drugs?
Ganelon: Greibel, this time.
Apheori (GM): Did you eat it?

RHU
You begin to feel really weird. Light. Fuzzy.
Almost floating.

RHU
Ooh. This feels nice.
Apheori (GM): Things don't really seem clearer. In fact everything seems... murkier. Colours dimmed, and displaced. People glowing oddly. Objects fading...

RHU
... hey ... come back ...
Grbbbbl, stop glowing. It's ridiclus.

GREIBEL
Oh yeah, nice man.
I'll be right here, I just might look like a disembodied consciousness
But that's normal
Rhu looks at Greibel funny, then nods.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
1
)
=
1
Gaurav: ooooooooooooooo
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Everyone do stuff now.
Bear Soup Guy: HAH
Rhu tries to work out which colour is being displaced to which other colour, but every time he does the colours rearrange themselves and it's quite anonying actually
Frezak (GM): So how do we undrug Rhu?
Hit him with sticks?
Apheori (GM): Good question!
Bear Soup Guy: We have to get him to see stuff though!
Or he'll try anyway
Gaurav: You could also leave Rhu in this cell and go do something sensible like find out more about the weapons or something.
Apheori (GM): Or you could drag him around.
See what there is to see.
Yes!
Ganelon: On drugs.
Yes.
Frezak (GM): Let's go learn science!
Do we have a wheelbarrow?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The colours are starting to make sense. They describe things that aren't... strictly there. Variations of past and present, a narrative of presence...
Gaurav: Can Rhu walk? Maybe he can be lead?
Wheelbarrow! Yes, perfect!
Apheori (GM): He can walk.
He's still standing.
Frezak (GM): IN straight lines?
Rhu wonders what a mushroom milkshake would taste like
Frezak (GM): And not waddle off?
Apheori (GM): Well, you might have to... hold onto... yeah.
Frezak (GM): Someone tie a rope to him.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel will keep an eye on him because he feels responsible
Frezak (GM): I'm probably the heaviest here, so I suppose i'll do that.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You notice Radek isn't glowing the same was as the others. He's more just an object, not quite there, mostly gone. An emptiness in space. Greibels hands are the same way, for some reason.
Gaurav: Yeah, I'd've thought Greibel would be prepared for sudden drag-induced stupors.
Apheori (GM): same way*
Ganelon: I approve of this state of being.

RHU
(mumbles) hey, what's wrong, Radek? Hey? What ... why are't you glowing right? You're not glowing right.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Greibel and the Gravedigger are brilliant and colourful... you seem normal. You can't see your own glow.
Bear Soup Guy: XD

RHU
loooooook at my hand, it's soooooo normal
wheee
Frezak (GM): Gravy IS A RAAAIIINOW
or a rainbow.
Greibel puts his hands on Rhu's shoulders

GREIBEL
Now think man
You needed to see some important stuff
(To Rhu): Go. See what you need to see. The ends await.

GREIBEL
Just keep thinking important stuff and maybe you can find out what we're doing here, and possibly the fundamental relation of all cosmic bodies, if the effect lasts long enough

RHU
Huh? Yeah?
Greibel just told me to see what I need to see. But he said it in Hazz'ridan's voice? What?

RADEK
You could also see the miserable direction your life is taking.
That would be helpful too.

RHU
The ends await. Mm. Good. Good. I need ends. Dead ends for me please.
Also tea. And a milkshake.
Gaurav: What do the buildings look like?
Colour-wise
Are Gravy and Greibel similar colours, or just different kinds of vibrant colours?
Apheori (GM): You're still inside.
The walls are just objects, there but not important. Think... uh... ambient occlusion maps.
Gravy and greibel are different colours but in the same ways.
So. Gravy has a rope around Rhu and Greibel has ahold of Rhu's shoulders...
Gaurav: Lemme do another perception check from within this maelstorm of colour and see if I notice anything.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception check
(
8
)
+12
=
20
Frezak (GM): RELEASE THE RHU
Gaurav: You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike. You might be eaten by a Rhu. Especially if you look like milkshake.
Frezak (GM): You might be eaten by a Rhu :P
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You notice the pigeon philosopher on the floor is also glowing, but much more faintly. Same with the other prisoners, and the guards. It is a different sort of glow...
And you realise you can see the glow through walls, even. Some on what is probably the street outside, some sleeping guards above...
Gaurav: X-ray vision! Cool!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see darker things, too. Not absenses, holes, like Radek, but thinner spots... there's one in front of you now. It doesn't fit the shape of reality.

RHU
Huh. Huh.
Rhu pokes the thinner spot in front of me
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You get the impression that the thinner spot is staring at you.
Rhu stares back
Bear Soup Guy: When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back
Rhu stares back harder
Apheori (GM): You guys might want to drag him out and do something else. Seriously.
Ellemerr: Amadi. Mad girl with no sense of what's going on. I can do that. *shifty eyes*
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The thinner spot shimmers slightly.
YES.
Ellemerr: Put me in wherever.
Bear Soup Guy: Amadi vs. Stoney Rhu :D
Apheori (GM): Show up wherever.

RHU
Is that spot staring back at me?
Ellemerr: I don't know what is even there.
Rhu pokes the spot again
Amadi stares at Rhu, squinting a little.
(To Rhu): Ignore that. Move!
Apheori (GM): So Amadi just appeared behind Radek.
Radek jumps a little.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You're in a dungeon orsomething.

RHU
Oh. Err. Yes, Lord Ha-- Lord Harzsdi-- Lord Hazzdriddann. Let's go.

AMADI
You... you have soup. Right there. Soup.
Amadi shudders.

RHU
Hey guys we should we should go Lor-- that guy I pray to. He said this. He said we should. We should.
Rhu points towards the exit

GREIBEL
God told us through a mushroom man to leave the jail cell
Let's go!

AMADI
Let's go!
Go when?
Gaurav: Greibel: hahahaha YES

RADEK
Thank the gods.
Gaurav: That is a perfect sentence.
Guard pokes his head into the cells area.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Guard: Is everythign all right in hthere?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
DOn't ask.
They might answer.
Rhu starts to giggle at the guard
Gaurav: What sort of colour is he?

AMADI
No. There's soup.
I want a sandwich.
Guard: Erm...
Guard looks the place over and backs out.
Apheori (GM): The guard is like the prisoners - muted. Mostly grey.

AMADI
Why are you...?
Amadi wavesa finger towards the guard's face.
Apheori (GM): So you all head back out, passing the group of guards at their table, who do a very unconvncing job of pretending that everything is perfectly normal.
The guard studiously ignores Amadi as well.
Frezak (GM): You mean this ISNT normal?

GREIBEL
Haters gonna hate
Guard mutters, "ignore it and it'll go away..."

AMADI
Pfft. Liar.
Gaurav: ... nobody is at all suspicious that we entered a dungeon with four people and are leaving with five?
We should have taken the philosopher pigeon as well.
Ellemerr: They're ignoring me so I might go away.
Apheori (GM): That's probably why they're being so... weird. They don't recognise the fifth, though, so they're just pretending it didn't happen.
Y'all head out to the street. It's getting later. WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
Rhu practices walking
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The light is all meaningless. Sun, shadows, reflections. There's a different light now, not of light itself, but of presence and absolute, what is and isn't. The people glow, but faintly. Objects fade in and out of relevance.

AMADI
This is... not midnight, right?
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You can probably see this too on top of everything else, but you still see normal.

RADEK
Not yet.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: Whatever the hell normal even is for you.

AMADI
See, I know what time it isn't. I totally know what... Mm, that colour look tasty.
Gaurav: Objects fade in and out of ... relevance?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You notice Amadi is glowing even more brightly than the others, and differently too. Like she's something else, something bigger, older...
And if you look at her the wrong way, something just like Radek.
But then you can't get it to happen again.
Frezak (GM): She's hazz.
Apheori (GM): The objects are... flat.
Ellemerr: Don't be rude, Frezak.
Apheori (GM): People pass by. They're mostly different colours, and all rather faint, though there is variation.
Rhu stares at Amadi for a while
Apheori (GM): Amadi glows.

RADEK
We have an address.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You can't make out just what the colour actually is, though. Purple? Blue? Red?
Amadi stares back at Rhu, then makes a rude face.
Apheori (GM): Black?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm sure it'll be great.
Maybe they'll give us biscuits.

RADEK
Maybe they'll take these two off our hands.
Rhu is oblivious of any rudeness, and does that move-head-from-side-to-side thing you do when trying to determine parallax

THE GRAVEDIGGER
LET'S GO TO THE ADRESS

GREIBEL
Maybe they'll...tell us stuff?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The blackness flickers. It makes you slightly ill.

AMADI
No they won't, Radek. That's your name now? Hm. You should change it.
Apheori (GM): Which address do you go to? The one with the weapons, or the one on the rock?
Well, that came with the rock.

RADEK
I like my name as-is.

AMADI
Clearly you're not very smart.
Were we going sometime?
Gaurav: Them's fighting words
Bear Soup Guy: Brain-fighting
Ganelon: Oh my.
She's getting death-glares over that.
Apheori (GM): Chrome-shiny death glares.
Ganelon: Yeah, it's probably hard to read his face but he's still gonna try.
Amadi rolls back and forth at her heels, looking bored.

GREIBEL
To the address!
Apheori (GM): Which one? Who leads?
Frezak (GM): Radek?
I don't know if anyone else read the thing?
Ganelon: Sure.
His was illegible.
Apheori (GM): So stoned guy read the other one?
Oh dear.
Gaurav: It's in the log somewhere.
Should I copy it in here?
Ellemerr: In an attempt at being true to my character I've promptly forgotten everything. *shifty eyes*
Apheori (GM): Forgotten what, now?
Ellemerr: The world.
Apheori (GM): Huh?
Ellemerr: I don't know. >.>
Apheori (GM): I kid.
Ellemerr: I'm not sure if I do.
Apheori (GM): Radek: You don't actually know how to get there. Do you set off anyway, ask for directions, or something else?
Ganelon: I'll ask someone.
Frezak (GM): Rename the streets and complain at people that their town is wrong
Ganelon: Later.
Apheori (GM): Okay, you ask someone, and then run away because you're scary.
Frezak (GM): Ask a guard
They're not allowed to run.
Ellemerr: I could ask!
Frezak (GM): YOU'RE INSAAAANE
Ellemerr: I look perfectly un-scary.
Frezak (GM): INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE
And so's Amadi.
Ellemerr: Yeah but I'm sure they're used to that.
Ganelon: How dare they flee from me.
Frezak (GM): IF ONLY YOU COULD GRAB
Ganelon: Actually I'd love to use a, uh...
Tethercord.
If I had one.
Apheori (GM): Well, a nearby guard overheard/saw and comes up and tells you.
Gaurav: Gan: hehe
Apheori (GM): SO GOOD JOB.
Frezak (GM): Aw.
Thanks Mr.Guard.
TO THE PLACE
Apheori (GM): He's also looking at Rhu worriedly.

RADEK
Well at least someone in this place has a sense of manners.
Frezak (GM): Yes.
The only person was the guard.
Excluding all other people.
Apheori (GM): Guards are paid.
Frezak (GM): From being mannered.
Ganelon: It's okay, I'm old.
I'm entitled to my grumpiness.
Frezak (GM): Also covered in lead.
ONWARDS
Apheori (GM): YOU GO ON TO THE PLACE.
It has a really big statue of a crossbow stuck to the front of the building.
It's hard to miss.
Gaurav: What colour is the crossbow?
Ganelon: Not a real crossbow?
Frezak (GM): Is this the armourer's or the place on the note?
Apheori (GM): The sign says 'Rorik and Sons'.
Frezak (GM): Huh.
Ganelon: Ah, it's the guy arming the guards.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The crossbow is an object. Not terribly interesting.

RHU
It seems to be just people.
That glow.
And stuff.
Dim places are are. Thinner places.
Frezak (GM): It's made of peeeople

RHU
(mumbles) Oh. I gettit. It's just people. Just people.

RADEK
What a waste of stone. They could have made this a functional piece of siege equipment.
Gaurav: "Rorik, Sons and Daughters, but not the one who ran away to join the circus who we don't talk about"
Ganelon: Well, I'll go inside without really waiting on these other clowns.

AMADI
At least they know what their name is. Why aren't you named Rorik?
Ganelon: He wouldn't answer that.

AMADI
... Or... Harold. Harold would suit you. You couldn't be a Valentine.
Apheori (GM): The inside is full of weapons and weapon parts. Crossbows and swords seem to be a specialty, lining most of the walls. Quite a few rods and staves are also present, including the model the guards seemed to have.
Random parts are also strewn everywhere, and in bins.
There's an old guy with a beard working on a crossbow.
Amadi falls into step beside Rhu, takes his arm and walks him inside. "Would you be my Valentine?"

RADEK
You there! I take it you are Rorik?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: When she touches you, you are overcome with warmth. It is as though she is the brightest thing in the universe, and has only brightness to share...
Frezak (GM): ANY SHOVELS?
Apheori (GM): No shovels.
Frezak (GM): This shop sucks.
Apheori (GM): In sight, anyway.
You could ask.

RORIK
That I am!
Frezak (GM): IF SHOVELS ARE NOT IN PRIME POSITION THIS PLACE IS AN INSULT TO A THING
Apheori (GM): Okay.

RADEK
Your shop sells wands. Do I dare to assume that means you know something about magic?

RORIK
A thing or two, perhaps. Did you have something in mind?
Apheori (GM) pokes Ellemerr and Gaurav with a stick.
Gaurav: oops, sorry
Greibel goes to stare absently at all the staves he can't afford
Gaurav: chatting with my advisor in the next window

RADEK
Well, dimensional rifts are tearing your world apart at the seams and I should like to know if anyone has been studying a way to close them.
Rhu holds on to Amadi's hand with both hands. The warmth feels good.
Gaurav: How cold is it in this town? Or this planet?
Apheori (GM): Warm.
It's like summer or something.

RADEK
Now I don't expect you to have an answer, necessarily, but as the technology here seems unsuited to the task, arcane study strikes me as the next most likely way to a solution.
Rorik looks slightly surprised, then says, "You sure? Seems like something that would be in the news."
Amadi leans closer to Rhu, smiling faintly. "Careful," she mutters. "You'll smell the burning."

RORIK
Guards chatter, of course, but aside from some weirdness on the planes I certainly wouldn't call the world falling apart...
Rhu sniffs

RORIK
Here's a thought. There's always weirdness. There's also explosives. Have you tried...
Rorik gets out a large box.

RORIK
...blowing up the weirdness?
Radek grins widely.
Gaurav: o.0
Greibel 's interest is piqued
Amadi lowers her voice even more; "On your tongue... You'll smell it on your -"

RADEK
I admit to have been lacking materials.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You can't smell the burning. The box, however, is glowing.

AMADI
EXPLODE!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: So is Rorik, though less than the box. But he's glowing more than most folk around here.
Gaurav: this plan strikes me as terrible, ill-advised, ridiculous but also awesome

RHU
(to Rorik) Excuse me, sir, but why are you glowing?

RORIK
(To Radek) Then you, my good friend, have come to exactly the right place.
What?
Rorik looks at himself.

RADEK
He's drugged up.

RORIK
I'm not glowing.

RHU
Shiny. Very shiny. Also: your box. Also shiny.

RORIK
Ah, well.

RHU
(to Amadi) You can see it, can't you, Mrs. Teatime?

RORIK
You'll be wanting to check this, then.
Rorik opens the box and shows Radek a pile of parts inside.

AMADI
It's not teatime. I know what time it isn't.

RORIK
Some assembly required, but you, sir, look like someone who could do far more with this than with anything pre-made...
Rhu nods distractedly at Amadi

RADEK
Oh, assembly is the best part.
Gaurav: I'm suddenly imagining Radek playing with LEGO.
Ganelon: And stepping on the bricks?
Maybe that's why he's so grumpy.
Too many LEGO brick incidents growing up.
Ellemerr giggles.
Gaurav: hehe
Amadi giggles for no apparent reason.
Ganelon: So, what can I discern about these parts?
The porridge slides off Greibel's shoulder and goes splat on the floor.
Rhu points confusedly at the box
Apheori (GM): They're magical.

GREIBEL
:/

RHU
Why is the box glowing?
Apheori (GM): And kind of strong.

RADEK
And really explosive. You can see exactly how to put them all together such that it could... well, put a really massive hole in the planet, for instance.
Frezak (GM): THE BIGGEST HOLE
Ganelon: Oh yes.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The porridge is not glowing.

GREIBEL
Okay Rasputin, you can walk around and take a look if you like.
But don't get the staves all slimey.
The porridge sits there.

RADEK
...Say, you build crossbows here. Have you ever heard of a rifle?

AMADI
Rasputin is a good name too. Very good.
Frezak (GM): Oatey staves.

RORIK
Can't say I have.

GREIBEL
Thanks, gypsy girl!

AMADI
I'm going to be named Rasputing tomorrow.

RADEK
Something like this.

RHU
Rasputing would suit you well.
Radek places his rifle over the counter.
Rorik picks it up and gives it a look-over.
Rorik pops it open after a bit of fiddling and looks inside.
Rorik starts looking very, very interested.
Frezak (GM): If he breaks your shit I'm not throwing things for you.
Ganelon: As if I couldn't fix it.
Although I think Radek is proficient in using shovels.
Rorik nods. "Now this," he says, putting it back together and handing it back, "is definitely doable."
Amadi leans her head on Rhu's shoulder - or more likely arm, since she probably won't reach the shoulder - and groans slowly and quietly.

RORIK
Would you have a... smaller one you'd be willing to part with? Something that is not so much a part of you?
Gaurav: Does Amadi's head feel magically warm like her hands do? (Or are her hands just normal and Rhu is making much of it because he's stoned?)

RADEK
Not quite. I have some standard-issue laser weapon, but... well, you would need lenses to build one of those.
Apheori (GM): Amadi is warm. She is a source of power, and Rhu feels that power...
Rhu looks around a bit to see where the groaning is coming from, then realizing it's Amadi.

RADEK
I could draw you a blueprint for either in a day.
Ellemerr: I need to at some point find out why Rhu is stoned.
Apheori (GM): Or at least he thinks he does.

RHU
(to Amadi) Mrs. Teatime, what's wrong?

RORIK
Lenses?
Frezak (GM): How long would it take him to teach the guy to read blueprints?

AMADI
Can you see... In my head...?

RORIK
Some of the staves use those. Focus the beam, the better to punch holes through several tonnes of rock...
The city used to have walls, you know.
Ganelon: I'll hand him the pistol.
Rorik looks extremely pleased with himself.
Gaurav: Ellemerr: Rhu took the slightest nibble of a mushroom that the stoned philosopher gave him. All he knows is that Hazz'ridan seems to approve of this course.

RADEK
Here.
Apheori (GM) picks up the pistol and examines it as well.
Rorik picks up the pistol and examines it as well.
Ellemerr: Hazz would at that. xD

RORIK
Hmm... this is somewhat more efficient. Different principle from the rifle, of course, but... how much do you want for it?
Gaurav: DM: stop taking guns out of the game!

RORIK
And if the blueprints are for sale...
Frezak (GM): GUNS ARE FOR PUSSIES
Rhu squints and stares at Amadi's forehead
Apheori (GM): Dude, this guy's going to be MAKING them. XD
Ellemerr: Agreed. I'm voting for shovels any day.
Gaurav: An all-shovel army would be a terrifying thing indeed.
Frezak (GM): SHOVELS
Also.
Apheori (GM): Shovels!
Frezak (GM): If these guys wander around with laser guns.
It might be a problem in teh future.
If we set up a despotic empire.
For some quick cash.
Ellemerr: Ya think?
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20

RADEK
Haven't the faintest idea. Rifts dropped me here scarcely more than a day ago and I'm still amazed you people carry your currency with you.
Gaurav: Should that eventuality arise.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
5
)
=
5
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You can't see in her head. Too much glow.

RADEK
You seem like you've got your head on straight, at least.
Gaurav: I'm saving up all my rolls > 10 for my community ecology class.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Rhu shakes his head sadly

RHU
(to Amadi) You have too much glow. I cannot see a thing. Does it hurt to glow that much?
Apheori (GM): Okay, what would a nice, heavy crossbow sell for?
With some magic.

AMADI
Hurt.
Amadi says the word in a tone of voice that strips it of all meaning.
Ganelon: Well, if it's a +1 magic thing, it's worth 360 GP (but sell price tends to be between 20-50% of that depending on what you think is best as the DM).

RORIK
I'll give you 200 for it. Another 500 for the blueprints.

RHU
Aww. (pats Amadi's head with the arm Amadi isn't leaning against) Poor Mrs. Teatime.
The porridge slowly pulls itself back together and slithers over to Gravy's foot.
Frezak (GM): Ew.

RADEK
Fantastic. I hope you put them to good use.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will try to evade the breakfast.
Apheori (GM): You'll still need to make the blueprints, though.

AMADI
Is it time yet? I know what time it isn't. Why am I now?

RORIK
I fully intend to.
Rorik gives Radek 200 coin things and slips the gun under the table.

RORIK
When'll you have the blueprints ready?

RHU
(to Amadi) When are you trying to be?

RADEK
Tomorrow. I don't sleep, so it should be quite a simple matter.

RORIK
Perhaps we can call those a straight trade for this box?

AMADI
I... don't know anymore. I don't even know.
Amadi sighs.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see shapes in Amadi's glow.

RADEK
Certainly.
Greibel continues browsing, unaware as to the porridge's exploits
Rorik nods happily.
Ganelon: Well, that's all I need for now.

RORIK
(to Greibel) You interested in any of those?

RADEK
It was a rare pleasure doing business with you.

RORIK
Oh, indeed.
Very rare.

GREIBEL
Ah
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception checks: what shapes?
(
2
)
+12
=
14

GREIBEL
Can't say I need them or could afford them
Just admiring
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You have no idea. They're not objects. Not in the traditional sense. Metaphorical objects. Containers? Bones.
Gaurav: Bones! Is she a Dire Lady?
Apheori (GM): Bones with the flesh gone, flesh that would define them, flesh that is the thing itself...
Metaphorical bones.

RORIK
Well, if you ever need and can afford, there's even better to be admired in back. Do remember that.
Rorik turns away.

GREIBEL
I think I will remember that
The porridge finally manages to hop onto Gravy's leg and clings.

GREIBEL
At least for the next few minutes until the drugs make me forget again

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel.
Please remove Rasputin from my leg.
Rhu is a little scared by the bones, so he holds Amadi's hand a little tighter so he can feel more of her warmth.

GREIBEL
Awwwww
He wants to play!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
With my LEG?
It's just squelching.

GREIBEL
He's not picky

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, I'm on duty right now, so if you could take it off?

GREIBEL
Fine

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thank you.
Greibel pulls Rasputin off with a popping sound

GREIBEL
Spoil sport
(To Rhu): You must let go. She is an illusion that blinds. You cannot lose your way.
(To Rhu): You are MINE.
Amadi attempts to wiggle her squeezed fingers.
The porridge somehow manages to look incredibly disappointed.
Rhu releases his grip a bit
Amadi "Aaaw"s and whistles at Rasputin.

RHU
But she's warm

AMADI
You think she's warm, but it's only outside. Ice boiling.
(To Rhu): Warmth distracts. You must step into the dark to see.
(To Amadi): Do you want him?

AMADI
... No, that's not it. It's tea. I just want a Valentine.
Gaurav: Okay, I'm going to say that the drugs are making Rhu want to keep holding on to Amadi for the warmth, but he's going to try to break away and listen to his god now. Should I roll a d20, or some sort of fortitude thingie?
(To Amadi): Someday, perhaps, I will show you what it means to spread. And you will show me what it means to dream.
(To Amadi): Consider it a promise of a promise.
Apheori (GM): Roll a... sure, I dunno.
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
14
)
=
14
Amadi attempts to tear herself away from Rhu.

AMADI
My dreams are my own!
Rhu lets go immediately
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You hear laughter echoing away in your head.
Frezak (GM): brb

AMADI
Mydreamsaremyownmydreamsaremyownmydreamsaremydreamsaremydreams-
Gaurav: If you don't think I've nearly copied bits of this game into the chat with my advisor, you don't understand how sleepy I am right now.
Latest one: "Amadi: ... No, that's not it. It's tea. I just want a Valentine. "
which would have been tough to explain
Apheori (GM): Hah!
Amadi slumps down at the floor, clutching her head.

RADEK
(To Rorik) Every day, they do this.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Rorik snorts and shakes his head.
Gaurav: DM: can we say Rhu has snapped out of his drug-induced haze? Or was that 14 not good enough?

RORIK
And this was why sensible men invented weapons.
Ganelon: Thank you so much for this character.
Apheori (GM): The 14 wasn't good enough to pull away, let alone snap out of it. Amadi just managed to make it happen anyway.
That said you can roll for that now.

RHU
d20!
Gan: He wants to sell you weapons.
(From Ellemerr): I love answering whispers out loud. So much.
(To Ellemerr): It's awesome.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Like I said, 14
Gaurav: Oops, sorry
Rhu is still very out of it. He looks at Amadi slumped on the floor with consternation and confusion.
Ganelon: Radek unfortunately has a fine weapon of his own already. Also, he's grumpy and mean but not evil enough to shoot any of his "friends".
Well, not evil at all, I say.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Some of the glow fades. It's less clear now.
Amadi curls up on the floor, still muttering about her dreams - the words seem to be "I dream" now - and then, with a shudder, she falls asleep. A moment later, she's disappeared.

RHU
Huh.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: With Amadi gone, everything else suddenly gets much brighter.

RHU
Ouch! Too bright!
Rhu squints
Apheori (GM): ...not that bright.
Ellemerr cackles
Ellemerr: And now you shall turn BLIND!
Rhu looks around
Apheori (GM): It's like the brightest thing in a room goes out, and then you see all he light you missed.
Gaurav: Gotcha. Rhu is still stoned, though, right?
Apheori (GM): Well, okay, Rhu might get blinded, but that's Rhu.
Mostly.
Rhu looks at his own hand, which is still normal I suppose.

RHU
Hmm.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
5
)
=
5
Ellemerr: And now I'm going to follow Amadi's prime example and chase some dreams. I'll possibly pop back when you last expect it.
Apheori (GM): You have a suspicious feeling abot your hand.
Like it might be out to get you.
Bear Soup Guy: Bye Ellemerr
Apheori (GM): Dream well, dreamer of freams.
dreams
Gaurav: Pretty sure those 14s are the last >10 rolls I've got in me tonight.
today
Bear Soup Guy: Dream we- what she said
Gaurav: Bye, Ellemerr!
Rhu looks at his hand, aghast; then hides it behind his back and quickly looks around to make sure it isn't coming to get him.
Ellemerr: Sweet daydreams and nightmares to one and all.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The feeling fades almost immediately.
Rhu still keeps one hand behind his back, just in case. You can't trust hands.
Apheori (GM): Sane people: Care to move the peanut gallery along?
Gaurav: Oops, almost forgot: I have to leave for class in ~45 mins!
Ganelon: I think Frezak's not back yet, so that leaves it up to me.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: An imperative fills your head - go the place. Find the truth. Use the rock.
INHALE TRUTH.
Gaurav: Gan: as usual.
Ganelon: And honestly, the image of Radek just idly complaining as people fall to the ground mumbling to themselves is very amusing to me.
Apheori (GM): In this case Greibel is relatively sane as well.
Frezak (GM): Back.
Apheori (GM): Hello.

RADEK
Alright, everyone out if you're not buying anything.

RHU
What if you're inhaling the truth?
Bear Soup Guy: XD

RADEK
Fresh air is the truth.

RHU
We should go to the place with the rock. In the truth.

RADEK
Outside.
Rhu mumbles something about truthiness but followed Radek

RADEK
This man deserves better than the burden of your company.
Rorik chuckles quietly to himself.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The air outside is AIR.
Frezak (GM): I'll waddle out.
THis place has nothing for me.
Apheori (GM): SHOCKING, HUH?
Ganelon: I'm really glad that nobody else in the party is particularly sensitive to insults or I'd actually feel guilty about being so awful to them.
Gaurav: Air-type air is a rare gift.
(To Rhu): Go.
Ganelon: I the player, that is. About Radek being awful to them.
Gaurav: Rhu is already outside.
Apheori (GM): This is certainly an... interesting party in that regard.
Ganelon: He couldn't care less if your feelings get hurt. He only has infusions for healing *actual* damage.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Hazz wants you to keep walking.
KEEP WALKING.
Rhu keeps walking, then realizes he's going the wrong direction, stops and turns.
Ganelon: So, we know where these people with the rocks are leading us, right?
Rhu walks in the opposite direction for a bit before realizing he has no idea where he's going.

RHU
What rock? This rock?
Ganelon: At least one of us does?
Rhu hands it and the note to Gan
Apheori (GM): Rhu doesn't even know. He knows which way to walk he's walking.
and he's walking*
Rhu keeps on a'walking
Frezak (GM): Not he can't.
He's tied to Gravy.
By love and rope.
Apheori (GM): Okay, he bounces off the rope after a bit.
But he still walked as far as he could get.

RHU
Hey!
hey
I think it's this way.
Apheori (GM): He's still trying to walk. It is imperative.

RHU
We should walk. I have very strong feelings about this.
Frezak (GM): Do we think it's a good idea to whatever thing Rhu feels like doing or thinks a voice told him to do?
Is he some kind of oracle at this point or just a madman?
Ganelon: That's a hard line to draw.
Frezak (GM): Well we need a pen.
Gaurav: I've been wondering that for a while.
At some point it's going to be easier to just tie him to a wheelbarrow and ask him to point out things that may be of interest.
Bear Soup Guy: Well at this point I think we're following him because we don't really have any other leads so we're seeing what comes of it
Ganelon: We have an address from that strange teleporting woman, don't we?
Bear Soup Guy: Do we?
Gaurav: The other strange teleporting woman
Apheori (GM): Rhu has it, at least.
Frezak (GM): So that WASNT Rorik's place?
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Gaurav: Rhu just handed it to Gan
Rorik's address we got from the guards after our almost-encounter with them
Frezak (GM): I thought they were telling us where the adress WAS
Ganelon: Yes, but that was a different one.
Now we need directions to this one.
Or so I assume.
Gaurav: That's the guards from earlier this game. Rorik's place we got from the guards on Saturday, I think.
Frezak (GM): Time to find a guard, then.
Gaurav: This town is crawling with guards.
Apheori (GM): Ŕhu is still pulling on the rope.
Ganelon: Might as well go in whatever direction he's headed until we find a guard.
Frezak (GM): Hokay, then.
If there are wyverns I'm blaming you.
Rhu doesn't hear; he's pretty focused on the whole walking in a particular direction thing at the mo'
Apheori (GM): There are guards in sight, though perhaps not immediately nearby.
Rhu walks down the streets at angles, corner to opptosite corner, turning in parts.
Shortest possibly path, even if it leads through other people.
Or things.
He winds up getting stuck on a lamppost.
Frezak (GM): "on" ?
Like, "on top of" ?
Apheori (GM): Behind?
Trying to walk through it.
Frezak (GM): Right.
I suppose i'll slide him, then.
Gaurav: ... wow, how stoned is he?

RHU
There's a ... this pole's in my way

RADEK
Do you suppose he'll ever recover?
Apheori (GM): Pretty stoned. Main issue is he's still seeing things weirdly, and probably didn't even see the post until he ran into it.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
We'll find out.
Apheori (GM): Or he didn't see it in any particular position.
It is fading, though. Slightly.
Frezak (GM): Shit.
Gaurav: oof.
Frezak (GM): The lap-post is fading?
RUN.
Apheori (GM): Okay, he leads you down a few more streets in a step-like pattern and stops in front of a vacant lot.
Frezak (GM): RUN FOR THE HILLS
Apheori (GM): No, the... drug effect. XD
Frezak (GM): Well that's boring.
Gaurav: Pretty glad I walked into a lamppost and not a stranger, then.
Apheori (GM): You walked into a few of those, too. But they got out of your way on their onw.
Gaurav: Frezak: shh. you don't know how excited I am that only two things have randomly vanished since we've reached town. The stability of reality in the recent past is making me forget the horrors that we saw on Sarathi.
Oh, good.
Apheori (GM): Anyway, there's a fence around the lot. You're in front of a gate.
Frezak (GM): READ THE ADDRESS OF THIS PLACE
Apheori (GM): Inside appears to be a whole lot of weeds and stuff, and some bricks and a rusted wheelbarrow without a tire.
But this is the place.
Ganelon: Yeah.
Apheori (GM): You feel it.
Ganelon: I was about to ask.
Apheori (GM): Gan: The address is not the one on the note.
Frezak (GM): Bah.
Rhu points at the empty lot

RHU
We're here.
... though I'm not sure where that is.
Frezak (GM): Hokay.
I will survey the area with EAGLE VISION

RHU
... I'm going to pray to Hazz'ridan now. He's pretty knowledgable about things like that.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You feel power here, but more important, you see colour. There is something of a glow in the very air in the lot, especially at the center. You know it is where to be.

RHU
Wait ...
Rhu walks to the center
Apheori (GM): Rhu: d20
Frezak (GM): I hope we don't lose our second divine guy to a magic hole.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
19
)
=
19
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Gaurav: I suppose that's why I'm tied to the most stable person in the party
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The greyed out effect of reality fades, and you feel more. Gravity. Weight. The presense of space, and everything pressing down...
Frezak (GM): THAT DOESNT SOUND BAD AT ALL
Apheori (GM): Nope.
It doesn't. YOU'RE RIGHT.
Seriously, though, do stuff.

RHU
Oof. I'm going to sit down now.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+12 NATURE THE FIELD
(
19
)
+12
=
31
Rhu sits down under/next to the hole
Ganelon: Suddenly, 19s.
Gaurav: WOAH
Bear Soup Guy: I AM GOD
Gaurav: such rolle
Frezak (GM): What hole?
rolling 1D20+9+1+10
(
7
)
+9+1+10
=
27
Perception.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The field is alive. It is full of life, and more than just that of the nromal world. This place has been touched by the gods, and that is probably why it is vacant, for none would want to build on top of that...

GREIBEL
But there's something missing. And empty space where Rhu is sitting.
Frezak (GM): THAT DOESNT SOUND BAD AT ALL.
Apheori (GM): An*
Frezak: You discern some of the same impressions, and notice the wheelbarrow has a wheel now. It didn't before.
Rhu prays, given the lack of anything else to do, and how heavy he feels and all that weight ...

RADEK
So he sat down in the dirt.
Apheori (GM): Also there are a lot of bricks amidst the weeds.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
THe Wheelbarrow just grew a wheel.
No longer a simple barrow
Greibel goes up to Rhu

GREIBEL
Look!
Can you feel the presence in this place?
Your God must have led you somewhere useful for once!
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+8 religion check: Rhu prays fervently
(
12
)
+8
=
20
Apheori (GM): A dark ooze trickles out of the ground and spreads around Rhu. Then several large tentacles reach out and wrap around him, pulling him into nothing.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh dear.
The Gravedigger PULLS ON THE ROPE

GREIBEL
Well....misjudged that one.
Apheori (GM): The rope dissolves.
In the dark stuff.
Frezak (GM): Crud.

RHU
Huh, that was unexp---
Frezak (GM): WELL.
WE LOST OUR SECOND DIVINE DUDE TO A HOLE.
Gaurav: Divine characters are overrated, anyway.
Bear Soup Guy: Don't worry, it'll even out when the entire universe is swallowed by a black hole
Gaurav: The first rule of D&D, "Never split the party", suggests you all jump into this hole after me now. Just sayin'
Frezak (GM): Sersiously.
We should retire and become farmers while we still can.
Gaurav: Alternatively, you could report the hole to this town's police force and let them deal with it.
Frezak: XD
Frezak (GM): Yeah, if all the guards are eaten by teh hole we can rule as futuristic despots.
Apheori (GM): The dark stain on the ground begins to fade, sinking back down.

GREIBEL
RADEK! Blow up the hole!
Gaurav: I should leave for class in the next 10 mins, but given that Rhu has fallen into a hole
... and perhaps gone to that great, big dead-end in the sky ...
this might not be all that important
(To Gaurav): And we can discuss what happens in the hole... later,
Frezak (GM): Hazzridaninism doesn't sound so cool now >.>
Apheori (GM): Bwahahahah!
Gaurav: It's not done badly for a religion focused on dead ends! I wonder if it's, like, one of the Grand Big Religions or like a weird little sect that everybody looks down on.
Apheori (GM): Definitely a weird one.
Ganelon: Hm.
Apheori (GM): That people look at weirdly.
Frezak (GM): So this world does not like godlings.
Apheori (GM): Oh, they like them. Hazz'ridan is just a bit odd.
Frezak (GM): Well, both divine ones got et by otherwordly forces.
Ganelon: So you want me to throw a bomb in the hole as it closes?
Frezak (GM): YES
DO THAT
Ganelon: Okay. I do that.
Gaurav: I guess it'd be like if somebody in Hinduism set up a cult to worship Narada. It could happen, it'd just be very weird.
Before I go: so we're not meeting on Saturdays any more? Should we make this Tuesday slot regular?
Apheori (GM): A tentacle whips out of the hole and grabs the bomb before pulling back in as the entire dark stain disappears.
Frezak (GM): HAH
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, I like tuesdays
"THANKS FOR THE BOMB"
Ganelon: It is timed to explode.
Gaurav: This hole isn't taking any of your shit. Or giant, earth-shattering kabooms.

GREIBEL
Huh...misjudged that one too
Frezak (GM): DELICIOUS.
BOMBS. EXPLODES IN YOUR MOUTH. OR TENTACLES.
Apheori (GM): Tuesdays are totally good. Unless I get a job.
So you all just lost Rhu and you're standing in a vacant lot.
Gaurav: We can reschedule when that happens. I suspect all these plans are month-to-month anyway.
Apheori (GM): You can sort of feel the power. You can sort of see the life feeding the adminitedly not very impressive weeds.
Gaurav: Okay, I'm going to leave for class early and be on time for once. Have fun, and see you all next Tuesday!
Frezak (GM): Is... Rhu weed-food now?
Apheori (GM): Rhu is just gone. You don't know what happened.
Ganelon: He might have died in a fiery explosion instead.
Frezak (GM): HAH
Ganelon: (actually they're not that powerful)
Frezak (GM): Roll bomb damage!
Apheori (GM): The tentacles were certainly not like anything in the previous hole.
And there was the bomb...
Greibel pounds fists on the ground where the hole was
Gaurav: You could do an untrained religion check and ask Hazz'ridan
Apheori (GM): Mysteries.

GREIBEL
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Gaurav: byeeeeeeee
Apheori (GM): Bye.
Ganelon: See ya.
Bear Soup Guy: Bye
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The ground is oddly soft. Like something has been recently planted.
Frezak (GM): RHUBARB
Apheori (GM): >.>
Bear Soup Guy: AHAHAHAHAHAH
Oh man, I almost missed that

GREIBEL
Well, if there's any bright side to this, it's that he's probably sitting in a tree in a parking lot in some other dimension

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Doesn't sound too bright.
AS sides go, sounds pretty dim.
Well, we might as well go check out the address from the witch. At least we don't have any other god-worshippers to lose.
I hate this mission.
You know I signed up to kill things and bury them?
Two guys down already.

RADEK
Both lost to holes, no less.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't think it counts as a hole when It's /full/ of acidic tentacles.
And Azri was eaten by a tunnel, technically.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Give me a nature check.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+12
(
14
)
+12
=
26
Apheori (GM): There's something down there. Beneath the bare earth. Something that should have sprouted but didn't. A seed.
Also the weeds are growing way too quickly around the edges of the lot.
Not so much closer to the center.
Frezak (GM): BENEATH THE EARTH, YOU SAY.
Apheori (GM): MAGIC.

RADEK
HRM

GREIBEL
Gravy! Bring your shovel!
Hole time!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOOOOOLE TIME

GREIBEL
There's some kind of seed down there. Seems like it'd be important....somehow
Frezak (GM): BEGIN DIGGING
Apheori (GM): YOU DIG.
Frezak (GM): I dig like the best.
Because I AM the best.
Apheori (GM): You dig a few feet down and hit metal.

RADEK
.Well, you haven't killed anyone, but at least you're digging holes.
Frezak (GM): I will dig around the metal.
Like a good digsman.
Apheori (GM): It turns out to be a large rounded cone, a bit more than a meter across...
Frezak (GM): LIke a rocket head?
"nose" ?

GREIBEL
Like that weird thing in the third or fourth episode of Fringe?
Err
Bear Soup Guy: OOC
Greibel would totally watch Fringe though
Frezak (GM): No, that sounds fine IC for Greibel :P
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Apheori (GM): Kind of like that, but then it ends. It's just a cone, a but rounded.
bit
Frezak (GM): I'll ask Radek what he thinks about it.
Apheori (GM): I don't remember the thing.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek! Found... something.

RADEK
Something?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Big metal cone thing?
If Greibel thinks it's a.. seed of some kind, that's actually pretty worrying.

GREIBEL
Maybe the seed is in the cone, smart guy

RADEK
Let me have a look.
Ganelon: What can he discern about it?
Apheori (GM): Radek: It looks exactly like a rocket cone, like the modules used in some of the very first Artiilie space craft...
It's the sort of ancient history that most folks ain't even taught anymore.

RADEK
This is definitely a rocket. Or... was.
Unbelievably old model.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
Think it got Hole'd here or was built locally?

RADEK
Impossible to say.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
think we should crack it open?

RADEK
Well, it's not the explosive kind, so it couldn't hurt.
Frezak (GM): Our weapons are unbreakable, right?
Apheori (GM): No.

RADEK
I would love to see what's inside, myself.
Frezak (GM): Damn.
Apheori (GM): I mean, they're mostly unbreakable, but if you do really crazy stuff with them...
Frezak (GM): Hack metal?
Apheori (GM): Depends on the metal.
Frezak (GM): This metal?
It's not ultratungestensteel is it?
Apheori (GM): I don't know. Can you tell what it is?
Frezak (GM): Wellll.
I did make my own shovels.
Ganelon: Our stuff is *newer*, that's for sure.
Frezak (GM): So i know SOME smithing/metallurgy.
Does it have rivets?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
It looks like it's safe.
HAVE AT IT or don't.
Frezak (GM): I'll try and shear them off with my battletrowel.
(handaxe)
Apheori (GM): You start to do that and notice something of an indentation - a seam around what might be a door.
You can either continue dismantlement or try to get Radek to open properly.
Frezak (GM): Gravy has no issues with asking Radek.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Looks like a.. door? Panel?
Ideas how to open it, Mr.Scienceman?
Ganelon: Well... is this thing powered?
Apheori (GM): It's cold and off.
Also mechanical.
Ganelon: Then the most he could do is tell Gravy where to apply force.
Frezak (GM): I can direct an edge into the seams, then.
Ganelon: Go for it.
Frezak (GM): I'll do it.
Apheori (GM): You pop the door open and it swings up, revealing not the dark interior of the cone, but a flood of blank sand that spills over your feet.
Frezak (GM): EVADE SAND
Apheori (GM): You wind up on top of the cone.
...looking utterly silly.
Frezak (GM): on top?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): Not... jumping back?
Apheori (GM): The sand is all around it.
In the hole.
Frezak (GM): What hole?
Apheori (GM): You found it several feet in the ground.
In the hole that you dug.
Did you pull it out out when I wasn't....
I dunno.
Frezak (GM): So that's too far to jump out?
Whatever.
I will examine the sand.
Apheori (GM): It looks weird. Slightly transparent, and rounded. But heavy like normal sand.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, guys. What IS this?
Apheori (GM): Also there are some bones in it.
Small bones.
Frezak (GM): Nature to identify bones of what?
Apheori (GM): Like a dog or medium bird or something.
Ganelon: What, like marbles?
Apheori (GM): Very small marbles.
Sand-grain-sized.
Frezak (GM): Like... silicon dust?
Apheori (GM): But rounded.
Frezak (GM): Huh.
Again, can I get a more precise idea of what died in there?
Apheori (GM): Do you want to dig and find the rest?
Frezak (GM): Rest of what?
The 'rocket' ?
Apheori (GM): Identifiable bones.

RADEK
Interesting.
Apheori (GM): They're just some random ones. Scattered in the sand.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, i'll gather bones.
Because I know bones.
That's a thing I know.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): SANDWURM
Apheori (GM): You find some more and realise it's a cat.
Or was.
Frezak (GM): Aw.
Apheori (GM): Also the sand feels funny.
Rubbery almost.
Frezak (GM): What can we do to identify the sand?
Apheori (GM): I don't know.
Frezak (GM): >.>
Apheori (GM): Roll a thingy!
Bear Soup Guy: I should probably leave soon
Frezak (GM): Uhhh.
I have... Nature and perception.
BSG!
Bear Soup Guy: ROLL FOR SAND IDENTIFICATION
USE YOUR SAND VISION
Frezak (GM): ROLL FOR SAND
i'll identify their molecular structure!
rolling 1D20+20
(
4
)
+20
=
24
MAGIC EYES
Crud.
Bear Soup Guy: Does insight identify sand?
Frezak (GM): Reveal it's motives!
Bear Soup Guy: Or perception
SAND MOTIVES
Apheori (GM): It reminds you of packing material.
Frezak (GM): Can Radek roll science knowledge?
Ganelon: Good question.
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Frezak (GM): I think it might have been some kind of shock absorbtion material.
And there was too much.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11
(
16
)
+11
=
27
Frezak (GM): And the cat suffocated.
Apheori (GM): Gan: It's magic sand.
MAGIC SAND.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC SAND
WHOOOO
Yeah yeah magic saaaand

RADEK
Magical sand, here.
Ganelon: Can I...
Can I "dig" through it by disenchanting it?
Frezak (GM): HAH
Apheori (GM): Dude, you totally can.
Ganelon: YES!
Frezak (GM): DAMN YOU RADEK
Bear Soup Guy: ANTI-SAND

RADEK
Would you like to see how a wizard digs, friend?
Radek grins wickedly.
Frezak (GM): FUCK YOU GAN
Ganelon: It's not bombs, I swear.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: So the cool thing about artificers is that I can do the disenchant ritual without expending components.
Meaning it doesn't take magic to break magic. For me.
Frezak (GM): So you take the magic from the sand. What about the sand?
It just.... vanishes?
Ganelon: "When you finish performing this ritual, you touch a magic item and destroy it, turning it into a quantity of residuum valued at (whatever fraction) of the item's price."
Frezak (GM): Huh.
So now you have a pile of magic?
Ganelon: All the matter disappears, leaving very useful magic dust behind.
Frezak (GM): residuuuuum
So you turn sand into dust.
GOOD JOB
Ganelon: Yeah, but a lot less dust.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: Also this'll take me an hour to do.
Frezak (GM): AN HOUR?
Ganelon: Yeah. You can shift it around with your shovel all you like in the meantime.
But regardless, it's turning to dust at the end.
Frezak (GM): This is exactly the sort of crap Gravy gets paid NOT TO DO.
Ganelon: Our lovely DM must also decide how much gold's worth of magic dust I get from this.
Frezak (GM): People don't pay for him to wave his hand and make a hole.
They expect WORK.
Ganelon: Keeping in mind that I can actually enchant stuff with that much to make... better stuff.
Frezak (GM): EFFORT.
How much do you have right now?
Ganelon: (Basically residuum is as good as gold for us. I turn it into magic items or do rituals with it)
Apheori (GM): Perhaps this would be a good time to call it a session.
Ganelon: Sure.
Apheori (GM): And we can sort out the amount then.
Ganelon: I have very little. 37 worth.
Apheori (GM): And Gravy can throw a fit in the meantime.
Frezak (GM): He's very upset.
Ganelon: Ah, don't worry.
Frezak (GM): He's gonna bury the cat bones.
Or possibly bury Radek in magic sand.
Ganelon: Later I can be like "Look, I'm sorry for pushing into your territory like that, but if it makes you feel any better, I enchanted your shovel."
"It obliterates foliage on command."
"So you can get straight to the dirt."
Frezak (GM): Hah!
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: That actually is a real weapon enchantment.
Frezak (GM): Exfoliator!
For Topiary Spiders.
Ganelon: Huge bonuses against plant-like monsters and some power to destroy tall grass and... plants, I guess.
Frezak (GM): It's powerful leverage.
DO WHAT I SAY OR I OBLITERATE ALL WEED WITHIN A 3X3 RADIUS.
/</pre>

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