View source for Holes/Session 16

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<screenplay>
INT. Presentation room - underground complex
</screenplay>

<pre>
Apheori (GM): Does anyone remember the current situation?
Bear Soup Guy: We're uh
Frezak (GM): THe place started falling apart then stopped.
We were looting.
Ganelon: We read through some logs.
The teleporter was broken.
Apheori (GM): Right. You were in that presentation room, the walls were sometimes groaning...
Gaurav: Yay groaning walls
we haven't had that in a while
Apheori (GM): Well, this is structural groaning, not possessed groaning.
Gaurav: oh
non-sarcastic "yay!" then
Frezak (GM): We need to find out how Greibel got here.
By... killing him and casting Speak With Dead, possibly.
Apheori (GM): Greibel got in down the corridor that collapsed.
Frezak (GM): UNless Ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Apheori (GM): Of course ghost-Greibel is also stoned.
Frezak (GM): Well, bugger.
Bear Soup Guy: Always stoned
Frezak (GM): Wander around aimlessly...
Bear Soup Guy: He's a floating pot-smoke apparition
Frezak (GM): OR.
I COULD DIG US OUT.
Gaurav: Can you smoke ghost-Griebel?
like, if you were to inhale him
Apheori (GM): You could track your way out.
Frezak (GM): Ghost Greibel inhales YOU.
Track?
Apheori (GM): Or you could get Radek to look for a map of the place.
Folks used this place, went in and out. Track it!
Frezak (GM): Ehhhh
Ganelon: Have Greibel turn into a swarm of moles!
Frezak (GM): There you go.
Bear Soup Guy: :O
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Brains.
Do that.
Gaurav: ++swarm of moles idea
Apheori (GM): You could follow the tuna trails that criss-crossed the real trail you followed to find the crazies.
Gaurav: why would the transporter stop working? we didn't fiddle with any electronics while we were here, right?
Apheori (GM): Why, indeed...
Gaurav: ... or the tune trail. that works too.
Ganelon: It wasn't getting power.
Well, that doesn't explain why it dumped silvery stuff on us.
But now it's not getting power.
Most likely suspect is, of course, the cave-in.
Gaurav: oh right, that would explain it
the tanks are also empty
the presentation room has power
Ganelon: Good point.

RHU
"Speaking with the dead": well, that thing is from the City of the Dead...
(he points at sphinx)
Pretty easy to speak to the dead if you can teleport there.

The sphinx licks itself emphatically.

RADEK
Useless if you can't find a specific soul, however.

Gaurav: Sorry if this was covered earlier: is the presentation room the only place you can get to through the north corridor, or are there other places to explore there?
Apheori (GM): You check by the door and are disappointed to find that this building apparently does not follow normal codes and has no directions to emergency exits.
There are other places. Gravy just tracked the two loon here.
loons
Ganelon: Oh, I would register SO MANY complaints if there were anyone to receive them.
Gaurav: Ha! I hope we find a complaint register at some point. This place seems crazy enough that it might have one.
Ganelon: "And then there was a cave-in, and when we tried to use the teleporter it just produced liquid non-existence, which didn't even stick to me!"
Bear Soup Guy: "I'm VERY dis-satisfied!"

DAWN
(counting the seats in the room) Two... fourteen... twenty three...
Ganelon: I'd probably slip in a few complaints about the party itself even though that is in no way this establishment's fault.

DAWN
Something's missing.

Gaurav: Possibly silly question, but we've already echecked that our communication gear doesn't work down here, right?

RADEK
What?

RHU
(to Dave) What?
rolling 1d20+12 perception check on the room to see if I can see what's caught Dave's attention
(
6
)
+12
=
18
Frezak (GM): BAH.
Gravy will activate his Gravysenses.
rolling 1D20+20
(
3
)
+20
=
23
See?
Even on a 3 i'm awesome.
Now I need to sit down for 5 minutes >.>

RHU
Thank you.
Ganelon: Keep showing off like that and I'll have to one-up you in a different campaign altogether.

DAWN
I don't know.
Ganelon: By making Freya's L6 feat Skill Focus: Diplomacy.
Apheori (GM): Frezak: It has something to do with the number of seats and the... door?
Frezak (GM): Uh.
I will relay that dubious information >.>
Gaurav: How many seats are there? 23?
Frezak (GM): Is there a missing seat spot?
Gaurav: There were 18 beds in the quarters earlier, but we've definitely seen more than 18 skeletons, so there must be more living quarters around somewhere.
Apheori (GM): 47 seats.
Ganelon: I don't get why this is important, but...
I suppose I'll check out the door.
Gaurav: There were 47 gold pieces in the living quarters, although that couldn't posibly be relevent.
Apheori (GM): The walls creak ominously as you do. Perception, please.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception check
(
14
)
+12
=
26
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+10
(
7
)
+10
=
17
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+8
(
17
)
+8
=
25
Apheori (GM): I meant Radek.
Ganelon: I think it's 8, at least.
I'll confirm in just a sec.
Gaurav: all perception all the time
Ganelon: Yep, 8.
Apheori (GM): GAN: YOU NOTICE...
...that none of the rooms are labelled and in a place like this, they should be labelled. It's like someone stole all the signs.
Frezak (GM): SCRUB
SCRUB ALL THE WALLS

RADEK
Are you talking about a sign for the room, Dave?
There should be one here.

DAWN
One? Or two?
Ellemerr: I should be ready very soon. Am I present?

DAWN
On the door, and by the door.
Apheori (GM): You are not, so show up when you feel like.

RHU
By the door?
Apheori (GM): Elll: There is a sphinx draped over some seats licking itself, if that helps.
Ellemerr: Perhaps.
(From Ellemerr): If you've anything specific you want me to confuse those poor buggers about, as always, you've but to tell me.
Apheori (GM): Dave walks over to the door and taps slightly to the right of the frame, 2/3 of the way up.

DAWN
Here.
(To Ellemerr): Igot nothing.
Frezak (GM): DETECT ILLLLUUUSION
Ganelon: ...Sure, why not.
Frezak (GM): I smack the tapped area.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
(
13
)
+11
=
24
There any magic up there, boss?
(To Ellemerr): I think some crazy person just stole all the signs.

RHU
We're inside the room. Why would there be a sign on the way out?
Apheori (GM): Magic!

GREIBEL
They want to make sure you enjoyed your stay.
Apheori (GM): Something magical touched it.
Frezak (GM): I PUNCH THE MAGIC
Apheori (GM): The magic disperses.
Ganelon: Way to go, you scared the magic away.
Now we can't disenchant it for MORE DUST
Gaurav: That magic has returned to the land of its forefathers.
Frezak (GM): My shovel is magic?
and brb
Apheori (GM): Isn't it a +1 shovel?
Frezak (GM): No.
Apheori (GM): Oh.

GREIBEL
+1 Shovel Of Burrying
Frezak (GM): None of us have any magic stuff.
Bear Soup Guy: err
Ganelon: I have the ability to make one thing +1.
Bear Soup Guy: OOC
Ganelon: With my current resources.
Apheori (GM): I thought it was almost all +1 since you're from future land.
The porridge hops around the room merrily
Apheori (GM): Or maybe that was just the cloth stuff.
The sphinx gets up and stalks the porridge.
Gaurav: My cloth armour is +1, but it's not magical. Just cloth.
Was there anything hiding under the sphinx?
Apheori (GM): Some cat hair.
Amadi sits down in the seat vacated by the sphinx. Her hair is sticky with blood.
Ganelon: Well, the lack of signs is mysterious but we're in danger of the place collapsing and I don't see how a label would help us much.
Unless this room has a purpose we're unaware of.
Rhu backs away from blood-stained Amadi
Apheori (GM): Is Greibel smoking anything?

RHU
(to Dave) why do you think there ought to be a sign there? Is it something about the room? Or have you been here before?
Ganelon: It's the morning. Of course he is.
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Ellemerr: Is not smoking an option for him?
Ganelon: (I think he actually did mention something of the sort)

DAWN
Max occupancy 47 persons
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he did wake up and smoke a lot of things when he say Dave and Amadi on the ceiling

DAWN
The space is there where it should be.
Bear Soup Guy: saw*
Gaurav: I imagine we'd stop him if he tried to smoke near something inflamable, but apart from that ...
Apheori (GM): Is he still smoking?
Okay.
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, he could be if that would be helpful =D
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Gravy: You think you hear a squawk from a room down the corridor.
Bear Soup Guy: He's out of his element here and doesn't know what any of this science stuff does, so he's probably a bit bored and smoking quite a bit
Apheori (GM): Maybe others do too.
I dunno what your passive perceptions are.
Bear Soup Guy: passive 20
Ganelon: 18 here. Pretty good.
Gaurav: 22, but I think Rhu is still trying to work out the Mystery of the 47 Chairs, so he's distracted
Ganelon: Passive perception is just 10+perception mod, after all.
Apheori (GM): Greibel hears it too, and it sounds like a dying horse to him.
Rhu hears it and doesn't really notice.
Greibel perks up
Ganelon: Everyone here has ridiculous senses.
Apheori (GM): You're elves. Of course you do.
Ganelon: You should see the other game, where the gnoll (they get a racial bonus and everything) is the highest at 5.
Gaurav: I would have ridiculous senses, if Gravy didn't keep showing off.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): Wow.
Ganelon: 5! He misses stuff all the time!
Bear Soup Guy: Fits the scenario quite well though
If our highest perception was 5 we'd still be walking around a parking lot looking at cars
Frezak (GM): back
Ganelon: He's a really shitty hunter. Nobody believes him though because he kept rolling over 15 the one time we had to track something.
Apheori (GM): Or you'd be dead.
Bear Soup Guy: Yes
Apheori (GM): Frezak: You heard a squawk down the hall.
Do stuff.
Ellemerr: Hey, I believe you! You've convinced me that you're a really shitty liar, and I believe in luck.
Bear Soup Guy: And I a horse
Apheori (GM): Also Amadi is all bloody.
Bear Soup Guy: NATURE BROTHERS ASSEMBLE
Ellemerr: Eh, just her hair.
Frezak (GM): What kind of squawk?
Apheori (GM): How is your nature?
Gaurav: A giant seabird has arrived. The giant fish are on their way.
Apheori (GM): Roll nature.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+9
(
16
)
+9
=
25
Ganelon: The pelicans have come!
Frezak (GM): THE GULLS
Gaurav: We must send BSG to negotiate on our behalf. And try to stop the sphinx from eating it.
Apheori (GM): It sounds like an angry duck and then like a horse dying.
Frezak (GM): OH, GODS, THE GULLS
I realy that terrifying information to the party.
*relay
AND CHARGE INTO THE HALL
Apheori (GM): And ignore the bloody Amadi?
Greibel wonders what animal might be amicable to both a duck and a horse
Frezak (GM): I'm not a healer.
I dig graves, I don't keep people out of them.
Apheori (GM): You don't need to be a healer to notice something is odd.
Bear Soup Guy: Oh, is it Amadi's own blood?
Amadi dangles her feet, smiling at the world at large.
Apheori (GM): On the other hand, Amadi is always add.
odd
Gaurav: I was a healer until I killed someone. Now I'm a lapsed healer. Plus, it's Amadi. She'll pop into another world and then pop back, good as new.
Frezak (GM): EVERYTHING IS ODD.
Ganelon: ADD also works.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): So i charge into the halll.
Gaurav: Frezak: don't jinx it. Things have been surprisingly unodd for a while now.
Ganelon: I think I would prefer not to know why there's blood in her hair, myself.
Frezak (GM): THis world has taught me that being sensible in it is pointless.
Rhu goes out after Frezak, maul drawn.
Dave frowns at Amadi and then follows Gravy.
Ganelon: So I'll just follow these guys.
Bear Soup Guy: Perhaps the blood is from whatever animal is squawking right now
Apheori (GM): At a sedate walk, though.
Frezak (GM): Was she birthed again?
OUt of a duckmoose?
Gaurav: She spent more than six minutes with the sphinx. That'll bloody anyone.
Apheori (GM): Folks in the hall: You now hear a horrible horking noise from the room you just left.
Frezak (GM): I don't want to know.
She's just spitting up an Amadiball.
Rhu pops his head back into the room in surprise
Frezak (GM): From licking too many ears;
Apheori (GM): Amadi, Greibel: The sphinx ran into the porridge.
Frezak (GM): I warned you.

GREIBEL
Oik!
Ellemerr: Uh-oh
Greibel goes over to try to separate them
Rhu shakes his head and return to the corridor
Apheori (GM): They're a bit tangled.

GREIBEL
Roll to untangle.
Amadi skips down to join with the seperating.
Apheori (GM): Probably dexterity.

GREIBEL
mmm
Apheori (GM): With an assist from Amadi.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20+0
(
2
)
+0
=
2
XD XD XD
Ellemerr:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Ganelon: Amazing.
Bear Soup Guy: Utterly amazing
Gaurav: well that's a pair of rolls
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Ellemerr: Even I can roll good once in a while, you know. Just... never in combat.
Frezak (GM): So... With that crit.... Greibel got..4.
Ellemerr: Yes, I'm spending all my good rolls here, Frezak. Deal with it.
Frezak (GM): THANKS, AMADI
WAY TO GO.
THIS IS WHY THE STRANGER DIED.
Apheori (GM): Amadi peels the porridge off the sphinx and it winds up on Greibel's head.
The horrible noises cease.
Amadi giggles.
Ganelon: Just ask the Merr to Astral Seal something and you'll see how consistent she can be. For the worse.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs out into the corridor as well.
Greibel chuckles a bit as well
Gaurav: darnit, should've locked it in here when we had the chance
Ellemerr: I'd help, but I think I've sort of made it terrified of me, at least for a while.
Frezak (GM): So.....
I'm all alone?
Gaurav: no, I'm still in the corridor
Frezak (GM): But you stopped running, right?
Gaurav: Yes. I'm right outside the door at the moment. Did you run ahead?
Ganelon: I followed you without interruption.
Frezak (GM): I never turned back.
Ganelon: I don't want to be alone with all the crazy people.
Frezak (GM): On the basis that Amadi can control spacetime.

GREIBEL
(to Amadi) Well, not to point out the obvious but...how'd you get all bloodied up?
Apheori (GM): Dave's still walking after Gravy and Radek.
Frezak (GM): ANd there was a duck in danger.
Ganelon: Or a dangerous duck.
Gaurav: An angry duck. A dead horse.
Ganelon: I think it might be that.
Frezak (GM): Zombie duck?

AMADI
How did I what?
The porridge: Gloop

GREIBEL
Mmm. Right.
Rhu cautiously advances down the corridor in the direction that Gravy went
Frezak (GM): No need to be cautious.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx catches up with Gravy at some point.
Amadi looks at Greibel as though he's a little bit mad.
Frezak (GM): If there's something bad, it's gonna be busy with a faceful of Gravy
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You come to a room.
Frezak (GM): MY DREAD NEMESIS
Apheori (GM): The noise came from here. It is all quiet now.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
HELLO?
Ganelon: It's okay, I have a rifle. We can totally make this a duck hunt.
Apheori (GM): Nothing.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
IS THERE A DUCK AND OR HORSE IN HERE?
Apheori (GM): The sphinx runs in.
Gaurav: But it's rabbit season.
Frezak (GM): What IS in the room?
Radek is a scienceman.
Gaurav: Have I reached Frezak yet? How far ahead of us is he?
Frezak (GM): He can make a duck into a rabbit.
Apheori (GM): A desk, some chairs, a deformed skeleton...
And, apparently, a giant duckmoose monster under the desk. It appears to be either dead or unconscious.
Frezak (GM): DEFORMED?
I check the duckmoose for vital signs.
Apheori (GM): It has too many feet.
You wind up with sphinx vital signs.
Frezak (GM): I attempt to remove the sphinx.
The sphinx stares at Gravy from on top of the duckmoose.
Apheori (GM): You reach out to move the sphinx and it jumps off.
Ganelon: Cats.
Apheori (GM): Rhu, Radek: You come in as well.

RHU
... yeah ... okay ... I don't know what I was expecting.
But that's not far off.
Frezak (GM): Is this apex of nature alive?
Apheori (GM): Apparently not.
Amadi shrugs and pets the porridge.
The porridge rumbles.

AMADI
What time is it?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can we leave yet?

GREIBEL
Uhrm
Gaurav: Time to get a new watch.

RADEK
Time to leave, yes.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
PLease.

DAWN
Okay.

RHU
We should get Griebel to check the creature out maybe. With the nature and whatnot.
Bear Soup Guy: Should I and/or Amadi head to the room?
We're still screwing around in the unimportant room
Frezak (GM): I can totes nature it.
rolling 1D20+9
(
17
)
+9
=
26
Ganelon: Don't suppose there's a map in this room either?
Frezak (GM): See? That's nature, right there.
That moose?
not natural.

RHU
So: head of a duck, body of a moose?
That's large, scary and awkward, all at once.
Apheori (GM): Nature determines that it's not natural.

AMADI
Thanks, that's helpful. Hey, do you like my hair? I think I dyed it. Is it dyed? Do you have a mirror?
Apheori (GM): Some sort of horrible disease happened to it.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
The duck-moose hybrid.... Is not natural.

GREIBEL
Your hair is...very unique. It's nice.

AMADI
Thanks!

GREIBEL
I don't have a mirror but uh....I'm sure there's a reflective surface around here somewhere...

AMADI
Right! The sign at the door. That's very clever of you.

RADEK
It might have been a test subject.
Amadi goes to look at herself in the metallic sheen of the sign on the door.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
I hope I don't turn into a duck.

GREIBEL
The sign on...was that there before?
Greibel walks over to read the sign

RHU
I hope you don't turn into a duck either. So: definitely dead? We should go back and try to find another way out of here?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Roll sanity.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8

DAWN
Would you turn into a duck? Does that even happen?

RADEK
I wouldn't discount anything.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The sign looks like a map.
But it shimmers too much to make out details.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I dunno.
But this moose got ducked.
I don't want to be ducked.

AMADI
Huh. I could've sworn I used green dye...

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Are you colourblind?
My brother has that.
Green bunnies.
Bear Soup Guy: Can I take the map off the door?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not that HE ever saw a real bunny.
Because you only find them in zoos back home.
Apheori (GM): You try to take the map, but your fingers pass right through it.

GREIBEL
Oh, bugger all
Gaurav: The annual bunny migration was a terrible time back in Roseberry

GREIBEL
(To Amadi) What does this say?
(From Ellemerr): What do I tell him?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
If you'd shown him this thing, he wouldn't have known it wasn't a proper creature.
Ganelon: We probably ought to be more concerned with the fact that this duckmoose was making noise seconds ago.
(To Amadi): It's the evacuation routes. Make something up.
Frezak (GM): I don't know what to be concerned about anymore.
Ganelon: Let's just move on. Do your tracking thing and see if we can't find an exit.
I mean, I liked my moles idea, but the druid's occupied.
Frezak (GM): Tracking would tell me where feet went, but not which ones went to an exit.
It's not magic.
Gaurav: Dungeoneering check to see if, I dunno, the floor is sloping up or something?
And we should go get Greibel back before we move on.
Amadi looks away from her own reflection in the metal, then back at it. "Hm? Oh, it's rules for running. Or guides. Most rules are just guides anyway. Do you think most guides are rules? It's very accurate. That way is blocked as of quite recently." She taps a spot on the thingy.
Gaurav: I'll go.
Rhu heads back to the hologram room, looking for Greibel.
Frezak (GM): Just pick a corridor and take the right-hand turn rule until we find an exit?

RHU
(to Gravy, as he walks away) I like this plan!
Frezak (GM): I'd be a minotaur if I wasn't an elf!
Off to the holoroom.

GREIBEL
So where are we on this guide?
Rhu pops my head into the holoroom
Amadi points again.
Ganelon: Sure thing.

RHU
(to Greibel) It was just a monster. We're going to try to use the right hand rule to get us out of here. Coming?

DAWN
How do you know it isn't a proper creature?

GREIBEL
Hold on, we found a map, check it out

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well there goes my plan.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see no map.
Frezak (GM): It's a stonermap.
Gaurav: Do I even see the sign?
Apheori (GM): Nope.

RHU
That's a blank bit of wall. Don't worry about maps; if there was one, Radek would have found it ages ago.
Where we're going, we don't need maps!
Bear Soup Guy: Nice!

GREIBEL
Well, look. We can see it and nothing bad ever came of following a map that isn't there for everyone, right?
Apheori (GM): Radek: You notice a mass of fluff nuzzling you.

RADEK
...Wrong, but continue.
Apheori (GM): It says, "Hungry."
Ganelon: Is it the sphinx?

RHU
(to Dave) Because why would a moose need a duck's head? How could a duck possibly eat enough in a day to sustain a body like that? Why even go to all the trouble of getting an aerodynamic head like a duck's if you're going to stick it on a moose, which is the exact opposite of whatever an aerodynamic thing is?
It doesn't make sense.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because the duckhead on it was from some kind of magic disease.

DAWN
Why not?
What if the head and body belong to it?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Its a moose with a duck's head.
Not a duck-headed moose-like creature.
But it doesn't.
Ganelon: No really, what is this nuzzling fluff?

DAWN
The disease did it?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It probably died from having the wrong kind of head.
Yes.
Apheori (GM): Yeah, sphinx, sorry.
Ganelon: Alright, just making sure it's not something *new*.
Frezak (GM): Get the party together!
WE CAN SOLVE THIS

RHU
The disease might have done it. That's true.
Frezak (GM): The getting out of here, specifically.

RHU
Huh, solve _this_. We still haven't solved the mystery of the 47 chairs.
Frezak (GM): duckmooses can be solved later.

RHU
Getting out of here would be nice, though. I miss the sun.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go get RAdek and Co. and get out of here.
Tis place is falling apart.

RADEK
Damnable creature! Do I look like an entertainer to you?
The sphinx: Hungry.

RHU
Someone should probably tell the sphinx a story before it goes nuts again.
Agreed. Let's go!
The Gravedigger picks up Radek.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
ONWARDS

RADEK
I have no time to tell stories!
Ganelon: I'm okay with this.
Apheori (GM) picks up the sphinx.
Dave picks up the sphinx.
Apheori (GM): >.<
Ganelon: Radek is probably less so, but still.

AMADI
We're leaving? Follow the... huh. Does that look like a rabbit to you?
Amadi points to something on the sign.

RHU
Does what look like a rabbit?
... the wall?

GREIBEL
hmmmm
Could be. How strange.

RHU
There is a bit of a stain over on that side that looks a bit like a cat
Apheori (GM): The floating disk hits Greibel on the way out the door and stops.

AMADI
Mmm, I don't think we should follow the sphinx...

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right hand rule!
Less talky, more walky rightwards!
Come on, people!
Out the deathtrap!
Rhu follows Gravy
Apheori (GM): You've left the mouseforged in the room.
Just so you know.

RHU
D'oh.
Greibel falls
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
Rhu mentions the mouseforged to Gravy -- he's not going back for it if Gravy doesn't want to.
Frezak (GM): I'll go put Mousie on the disj.
*disk
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now sitting on the disk where the mouseforged was supposed to be.
Frezak (GM): It's gone?
Apheori (GM): It fell on some of the seats.
Frezak (GM): Oh.
Well, i'll put down Radek, Pick up Greibel, pud Griebel down, pick up Mousie and put Mousie on the disk.
Whew.
Greibel sits on the floor vacantly
Gaurav: Put down Radek? Where is he?
Apheori (GM): Does everyone leave?
Now?
Frezak (GM): I picked him up.
Gaurav: Rhu sticks with Gravy.
Frezak (GM): Thanks, Rhu.
Ganelon: Well I'm not going back just to shout at the cat some more.
So yeah, I'll just follow.
Ellemerr: I'll sit with Greibel and sing komba-ya.
Frezak (GM): On the floor?
Once I put Mousie on the disk, I pick up Griebel and Amadi.
And get moving.

GREIBEL
oof

AMADI
Wheeee~
Apheori (GM): Okay, you head out!
Gaurav: YAY!

GREIBEL
(to Amadi) So I guess we're not following the map
Apheori (GM): Which way do you go? What do you do when Dave turns in a seemingly random direction?
Frezak (GM): Personally?
I'd ignore her.
Ganelon: We have a plan.
Gaurav: Wait, how many directions are there? I was imagining one corridor with the holoroom as a door on a side?
Ganelon: For once I'd like to stick to it.
Apheori (GM): I don't know.

RHU
We might want to follow Dave, though. She might know something about this place, from her time in the tank.
Frezak (GM): She's also batshit.

AMADI
She's full of holes! Maybe we'll fall down and find the white rabbit!

GREIBEL
Rabbits are nice!
Rhu makes as if to reply to Gravy, stops, thinks, then shrugs

RHU
Rabbits eat everything. They're pests.

GREIBEL
But they're so cute and fuzzy!
Frezak (GM): No, that was Frezak that said she was batshit.
Gravy would never say that.
Gaurav: Oh, right! Sorry. My bad.
Apheori (GM): So if you all ignore it, Dave will turn around and follow everyone else.
What's your plan, again?
Frezak (GM): Keep turning right until we find an exit.
Apheori (GM): o_O
Frezak (GM): Classic dungeon rule.
Gaurav: Or monsters.
Apheori (GM): You wind up going in a circle.
Frezak (GM): Then we go and do the same with the other wall.
Apheori (GM): The other wall?
Frezak (GM): Map.
If we went in a circle, then we were following the inner square.
So we find a corridor.
And use the other wall as our direction wall.
And do it again.
Apheori (GM): You get hopelessly lost.
Frezak (GM): WHAT
HOW CAN WE GET LOST.
I give up.
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor of an office building.
Frezak (GM): Someone else do this.
Apheori (GM): Going around the outsides, you find no exits.
Aside from maybe something down rubble lane.
Gaurav: So we spot nothing else in our lost wanderings? And now we can't find our way back to the lab room?
Apheori (GM): Yup!
Well, nothing useful. Because I can't think of anything.
Lots of bodies.
Wait, no, you do come across something.
You're lost and you encounter a room with a... moose!
...jus kidding.
Apheori (GM): Not a moose, but a spherical thing on a table with a bunch of tubes attached to it.
Gaurav: "laid out like ... an office building" -- do you mean something like this: http://touristinmyownland.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/fort-canning-bunker.png

RHU
I think we should head back to the holoroom.

GREIBEL
Not gonna say I told you so but....I told you so.
Ganelon: I'll inspect this spherical thing.

AMADI
Go back? What for?
Ganelon: Sounds like magic to me.

AMADI
Did someone forget their hairdye?
Amadi has now a hair full of dried blood. It smells... not particularly nice.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11 Arcana
(
6
)
+11
=
17
Apheori (GM): It's laid out like a floor in a tall building, I mean.
Gan: It is magic! Apparently it's the shielding artifact.
You think.
You're not sure.

GREIBEL
(To Amadi) Your hair is really quite lovely today.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm imagining that Gravy still has each of us slung across his shoulders
Rhu notices that Amadi's hair has been getting progressively bloodier

AMADI
Aw, that's really sweet of you! I did it myself, you know.

DAWN
I think you should ask Amadi how to get out. She got in.
I... think?
Frezak (GM): under each arm.
Like pigs.
Dave winces for some reason.
Bear Soup Guy: XD

AMADI
I was inside. I'm outside now.

RHU
(to Amadi) Are you bleeding? Hey, Radek, I think she's bleeding.
Apheori (GM): Just tell her there's a bath on the other side.

AMADI
Am I bleeding? I don't think I'm bleeding.
Frezak (GM): Do I smell blood?
Ganelon: I'll groan and have a look.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Ganelon: What'll that be, heal or perception?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's blood.
Apheori (GM): Heal, probably.
(To Amadi): What actually did happen? >.>
Frezak (GM): Can't you just syringe her?
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+8
(
15
)
+8
=
23
Gaurav: Gonna make some sandwiches, so if I'm slow to reply, you know why.
Ganelon: Sure, but if it's not coming from a wound, what good would that do?
(From Amadi): You're asking me? She dyed her hair! While in... the other place.
Frezak (GM): MAGIC
Apheori (GM): Well, you determine that it's not from a wound.
That's what good it does..
Gaurav: "Radek begins examining Amadi's head for injury. Amadi's hair comes to life and kills him. The end."

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eh, she's not complaining.
Ganelon: I mean a healing thing.
Apheori (GM): Heal is also to check, no?
Ganelon: Yes
I don't roll heal checks to use my infusions.
Gaurav: Yeah, we agreed that Heal would be for anything medical.
Ganelon: They just work.
Apheori (GM): You check out her head. It's fine. Her hair just happens to be covered in blood for some reason.
Like she tried washing it with blood.

RADEK
She's completely healthy. Er, physically healthy.
And I'm not getting into the other sort. Now, stop asking.
Ganelon: Shielding thing. How big is it? And how secure?

RHU
(to Amadi) Where'd all that blood come from? Or ... where IS it coming from?
Frezak (GM): I CAN DESECURE IT

AMADI
Dude, you're talking crazy. There's no blood.
Apheori (GM): It's got wires and tubes all over it, and it's a bit smaller than a basketball.
You can desecure it.

AMADI
Oh my side, are you seeing things like those kids in horror-movies? Is it oozing out of the walls? Don't touch the mirrors!
Dave walks over to a mirror and touches it.
Ganelon: Do so.
Apheori (GM): You desecure it?

RHU
It's not oozing, it's just ... appearing in your hair. It's a little weird.

RADEK
Detach this thing. We're taking it with us.
Frezak (GM): Not until teh smart guy demands my might.
I DETACH IT
With my consistently epic Str >.>
Ganelon: It is possible that we may all die, but I doubt that.

AMADI
... Yeah, you're crazy.
Dave looks back at Amadi quizzically, and then notices how ridiculous she, Greibel, and Gravy look and bursts out laughing.
Frezak (GM): I will carefully put down my charges.
ANd prepare to desecure the thingy.
Rhu mutters something under his breath and turns around to the mirrors.
Greibel oinks at Gravy
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+12 perception check to examine the mirrors
(
20
)
+12
=
32
Apheori (GM): How do you want to do so?
Frezak (GM): I have no idea.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU ARE THE MIRROR
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Normal mirrors over a sink and crap.
Ganelon: Get the tubes off of it.
Apheori (GM): There are some smudges on one.
Rhu wipes at the smudges
Frezak (GM): I slice the tubes with my razor-edged shovel.
Ganelon: It would help to know how they're attached.
Apheori (GM): They only sort of wipe away, and mostly just become smudgier.
Gaurav: Like all smudges everywhere, then.
Apheori (GM): The tubes deflate sadly.
With a sad hiss.
It's very sad.
Frezak (GM): Have at thee, tubes!
Gaurav: :( poor tubes
Apheori (GM): It's still stuck in its stand. Whatdo you do?
Frezak (GM): I HEAVE.
Apheori (GM): ROLL SANITY
Frezak (GM): 1
Apheori (GM): ...I mean strength.
Frezak (GM): WHEW
Gaurav: That was the sanity check
Ganelon: "Nyeehhh"
Frezak (GM): IM GLAD I DID NOT ROLL SANITY.
Gaurav: Now roll the strength check
Apheori (GM): Okay, if your strength does bad things...
Frezak (GM): Whoa, no.
that's not Str.
Apheori (GM): You may have a problem.
Gaurav: Don't break the mirror, it's bad luck!
Apheori (GM): Roll strength.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+5
(
20
)
+5
=
25
MY MIGHT UNLEASHED
Gaurav: YES
Apheori (GM): You heave the artifact out of its stand.
Ganelon: BY THE POWER OF GRAVYSKULL
Gaurav: Frezak's muscles unexpectedly bulge out of his shirt, tearing it to pieces.
Bear Soup Guy: "and the bit of floor underneath it yanks out as well"
Frezak (GM): I LIFT THE WORD
Apheori (GM): It comes out neatly and you're left standing there holding a weird sshiny orb.
Frezak (GM): SUCK ON THIS, ATLAS.
Apheori (GM): And then everything goes funky.
Frezak (GM): I PUT THE ORB BACK
Ganelon: What!? No!
Give it to me!
Apheori (GM): Funky as in all sound is cut off, the air feels funny, and everything just looks a bit... strange.
Frezak (GM): I GIVE THE ORB TO RADEK
Rhu wipes at the smudges again
Apheori (GM): You set the orb down and it almost rolls off the table and then give it to Radek. Everything goes back to normal.

RADEK
d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Hrm.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: They are normal mirror smudges. Without cleaner you won't succeed.

RADEK
Arcana.
Again.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+11
(
20
)
+11
=
31
BOOYEAH
Frezak (GM): Gan.
Wait.
Our pwoers are being bolstered by madness.
We've become Alienists.
Apheori (GM): It's shielding! You're shielded! You're invincible! YOU COULD TAKE ON THE WORLD!
Frezak (GM): That sounds like standard Radek thoughts.
Apheori (GM): XD
Gaurav: What is Rhu hearing from over here? Are there whizzy magic noises, or is reality just twisting hither and thither?
Ganelon: ALIENISTS YESSS
Gaurav: Plus things being dropped and whatnot.
Frezak (GM): FAR REALM, HERE I COME
Apheori (GM): The only one seeing twisty reality was Gravy, and that stopped when he put it down.
Radek cackles.
Apheori (GM): You just heard a yanking.
And now cackling.

RADEK
Yes! This is it!
Frezak (GM): I'm glad Gravy has a ton of HP.
Ganelon: Shielded physically, right?
Apheori (GM): The ceiling makes a horrible groaning noise.
Ganelon: Like, I have reason to believe that I could be attacked and not get harmed?
Apheori (GM): Yes.

RADEK
Hit me with the shovel!
Frezak (GM): SHOVEL STRIKE
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
Frezak (GM): WEIGHT OF EARTH.
Rhu turns away from the mirror and looks at Gravy and Radek quizzically
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+7
(
3
)
+7
=
10
Vs AC.
GORRAM/.

RHU
... Gravy? What are you doing?
Frezak (GM): that's a tickle.

DAWN
Science.
Frezak (GM): The weight of earth is more like balsa.
Ganelon: I'm not trying to dodge, but wow.
Disappointing shovel strike, there.
Apheori (GM): He missed.

RADEK
...

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, got overexcited there.

RADEK
I said /hit/ me.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let me try again.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+7
(
6
)
+7
=
13
JESUS.
FUCK YOU, DICE.
rolling 1D20+7
(
19
)
+7
=
26
EVENTAULLY
Ganelon: THERE WE GO
Frezak (GM): He's just spinning like a top.

DAWN
Is this science?
Apheori (GM): And Radek falls over.

RHU
Woah! Gravy!
Apheori (GM): But he's basically unharmed.

RADEK
Hahahaha!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
AWESOME.

RHU
...

RADEK
Yes! This is science!

RHU
I vote ... madness?

RADEK
Now let's get out of here before we all die.
Amadi disappears.
Ganelon: Not exactly what I meant, Amadi, but okay.
Greibel looks around confused

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Cheater!
The sphinx: Death. Good.

DAWN
Shush, sweetling.
Ellemerr might come back eventually. But she needs to... something.

DAWN
This way! There are stairs.
Dave points at a wall.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios

THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's a wall.

GREIBEL
Hmmmm
I've seen this
STAND BACK
Greibel runs at the bit of wall Dave pointed at

DAWN
Well, that... what are you doing?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Greibel runs through the wall.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not, let ME show you how to charge a wall!
oh.

RHU
Wha .. ?!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, that's pretty good.

DAWN
That was not what I meant, but okay.

RHU
... yeah, okay. I guess we're all mad now.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, Dust.
It's like that metal thing earlier.
Only you crazy guys can go through it.
Unless RAdek wants to chat it up.
Radek glances at the ceiling.

DAWN
Are we?

RADEK
I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, under these circumstances.
Dave walks over to the wall and pokes it. It seems solid.
The Gravedigger pushes Radek towards the wall.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Use mints!
Bear Soup Guy: XD

RADEK
Bah. Fine!
Frezak (GM): I'm a wingman!

RADEK
You there! Wall!
Are you going to impede my progress as stubbornly as your cousin did?
Apheori (GM): The wall says nothing.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now, use your secret weapon and blow it away!

RHU
HELLOOOO! GRIEBEL? Can you hear us?
Bear Soup Guy: Can I hear him?

RADEK
Her silence did not avail her! Here I stand as proof that walls have not bested me before, and they will not best me now!

DAWN
I don't think walls are supposed to be intelligent.
(To Greibel): Depends on what you do on the other side - do you keep walking after walking into the wall?

RADEK
Allow me to pass or I guarantee your thorough destruction!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
"supposed' is worth little, it seems.

DAWN
Or you could just use the...
Ganelon: I'll try walking through it.
Dave points toward the doorway in the other direction.
Apheori (GM): Radek: d20
Greibel doesn't respond to Rhu's calls
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Ooh, nice and low.
Apheori (GM): You run into it.
It is solid.
Ganelon: Damn.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, I have an idea.
You hold onto the orb.
And I slam as you as hard as I can into the wall.

RADEK
That isn't likely to help /you/ pass through it.
Rhu looks through the doorwya Dave pointed out

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It is if I break the wall.
(To Greibel): You walk through several walls and find the stairs, I suppose.
Radek shrugs.

RADEK
Very well.
Dave tugs Rhu's sleeve and starts to lead him toward the doorway.
Ganelon: This may actually have been the first time Radek showed enough concern to point out that something was likely to endanger one of you guys.
Frezak (GM): I suppose I don't have proficiency in Improvised Weapon: Little old mad scientist?
Rhu lets Dave lead him
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+5
(
12
)
+5
=
17
EAAAAGLE
Apheori (GM): You smash the little old mad scientist into the wall and the orb lets out a glowing pulse.
Gravy: For a moment, everything feels as mad as when you were holding it, then it's back to normal.
Frezak (GM): Okay.
I pick up radek.
Hold him tight.
Apheori (GM): Dave leads Rhu out in the hallway and then down a few more in the general direction she had been pointing.
Frezak (GM): And just leap into the wall, Radek-first.
Apheori (GM): d20s from both of you.
Ganelon: And to think.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
1
)
=
1
Ganelon: We're supposed to be the sane people.
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
YES
YEEEESSSS
Apheori (GM): XD
Frezak (GM): GO TEAM
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Ganelon: Man, the odds of that!
Frezak (GM): WE DESCEND INTO MADNESS
Apheori (GM): You both disappear into the wall, descending into a dark, cold, porous madness.
Frezak (GM): WHOOOOO

RADEK
It's astounding that the other still doubt us.
Ganelon: others*
Apheori (GM): Everything is dark. You feel little to nothing, and see even less. You can move, though, toward various... things. A sense of light, a sense of space, a sense of chese...
And power, too. You feel it, in the distance below you...
Frezak (GM): I'm still using Radek as a shield.
TO POWER
Powerrrrr
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Dave leads you to a stairwell, and you find Greibel smoking by the entrance.
Frezak (GM): Is he wearing a fedora and leaning against a lamp-post?

RHU
Hey!
Greibel looks up

GREIBEL
Oh hey man! I knew you guys would catch up!
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You descent into the darkness, losing sense of direction, including where you were supposed to be going. But it doesn't matter. Here, there is only the power, the sense of future, of everything that could be and will come to pass.

RHU
Yeah! Radek and Gravy are trying to go through the wall. (looks at the wall beside Griebel) is this where you emerged?
Ganelon: It certainly doesn't matter, yes.

DAWN
They're mad. You, you're stoned. There is a differnce.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is it.
WHat I have been seeking.
All this time!
THE.... ONE TRUE SHOVEL

GREIBEL
I walked through a bunch of walls, there wasn't much in between them so I just kept going until I got here
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Radek: You're not even speaking with voices anymore. The words are simply forming and filling space that isn't there. Except it is. The further you go, the more aware you become of existence beyond what you've known, and also of each other - fragments of memories, of consciousness...
And the power, it is everywhere now, but more ahead...
What's your wills?
Ganelon: My will is...

THE GRAVEDIGGER
The stories. All true...
Ganelon: 15. Actually pretty okay.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
THEY SAID I WAS MAD
Apheori (GM): What's Greibel's will?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll SHOW THEM
Frezak (GM): 13 will, here >.>

GREIBEL
17
Frezak (GM): GO DEFENDER CLASS.
Apheori (GM): Okay, that explains a thing or two.
Ganelon: Will comes from wisdom and charisma rather than intelligence. Radek only has a bit of wisdom and obviously he's an unlikable jerk.
Apheori (GM): Radek: This isn't right. It feels wonderful, perfect, but it isn't right.
He's smart enough and has enough willpower to figure that out.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I WILL HAVE YOU
AND SHOW THE WORLD
I WILL DIG THE HOLE THAT BIRTHED DEATH ITSELF

RADEK
Hey. Gravy.
This isn't a shovel.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
NO CORPSES WILL FILL IT
I WILL- what?

RADEK
This isn't a shovel.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh.
Damn.

RADEK
Something wrong about it.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Never mind, then.

RADEK
Nice speech, though. I didn't want to interrupt.
The Gravedigger coughs sheepishly.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
So.. uh.
We going back to the guys, then?

RADEK
I... suppose.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, can you drop the orb into this power stuff?
I'm sure something cool will happen.

RHU
(to Greibel and Dave) Eh, I guess they're not coming through here. Maybe we should go back?

RADEK
What? No!
Apheori (GM): You're IN the power stuff, though, including the orb.

RADEK
Also, it's...
Not in my hands.

DAWN
Yeah, maybe.
Gaurav: Are they still falling?
Ganelon: Or, wait.

DAWN
How long does it take to bash in a wall?
Ganelon: Sorry, I think I misunderstood.
It's probably still in his hands.

GREIBEL
I'm sure it's a quite involved process.
Apheori (GM): I thought Radek was holding it, and Gravy holding Radek...

RHU
There must be a knack to getting through the wall. Getting high, probably. They'll figure out a way eventually. They are scientists!
Ganelon: Yeah, that's right.
Greibel takes another bong hit
Rhu heads back to the wall where Greibel fell in
Ganelon: I definitely misunderstood. Ignore that last bit.
Apheori (GM): On the other hand neither of you arguably even have hands at the moment.
And you couldn't separate or drop anything anyway. You're basically consciousnesses surrounded by warm glowing power.
And it's getting stronger.
Ganelon: Might that be a sign of danger?
Apheori (GM): Probably.

RADEK
We should get out of here.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
All right.

DAWN
(to Greibel) Guard the way?

RADEK
I'm not really sure how to do that. Perhaps just wanting it will be enough.
Apheori (GM): Roll wisdom to move.
Ganelon: +5, I guess?

RHU
Guard what way?
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+2
(
10
)
+2
=
12
Apheori (GM): You can combine your wisdoms.
Frezak (GM): I'm a Warden.
my stats suck.

GREIBEL
Yes, which way?
Ganelon: I mean, my wisdom defense is 15, but everyone starts at 10.

DAWN
Stand... I mean?
Frezak (GM): Will or Wisdom?

DAWN
It's a figure of speech.
Ganelon: Oh right.
Sorry.
Greibel salutes
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+3
(
4
)
+3
=
7
Bah.

GREIBEL
Aye aye, cap'n Dave!
Ganelon: Well my wisdom + 1/2 level is 3.
Apheori (GM): Do you want to move away from the light into the cold, empty darkness?
Frezak (GM): Yeah.
There is no shovel.
Ganelon: Yes.
Frezak (GM): There is no reason to be here.
Apheori (GM): You do.
It's horrible.
It's the worst thing you've ever done. Everything wonderful just sort of drains away leaving a horrible emptiness.
And then you realise you have no idea where you're going.
Frezak (GM): None of that sounds unusual.
Gaurav: Man. This campaign is such an emotional rollercoaster sometimes.
Ganelon: Seriously.
Gaurav: Does Rhu remember the way back to where he left Radek and Gravy?
Ganelon: I laughed. I cried. I went insane several times.
Apheori (GM): Also Rhu goes back to the room and Dave follows him. But it's empty and the wall ain't even bashed.
Frezak (GM): I just went mad and stayed there.

RHU
Huh.
Rhu looks down the corridors to see where they went.

RHU
No sign of a struggle.
Apheori (GM): Radek and Gravy: You keep going and then pop out into light and space and colour and collapse on the floor.
Radek groans quietly.
Apheori (GM): Dave is standing over you, but she takes a step back in surprise.

DAWN
Oh... what?
(yelling back toward the door) RHU!
Found them!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey.
Is it lunchtime?

RHU
Ah, you got through the wall after all, then?

DAWN
Do you have lunch?
Floor, apparently.

RHU
Oh. Kay.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
THere wasn't a shovel.

RHU
*shrugs* It's lunchtime SOMEwhere.
The Gravedigger helps Radek up.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sounds good to me.
I tihnk I have some sandwiches somewhere....
The Gravedigger rummages in his bags.

RHU
Did you end up two corridors down like Greibel did?
Radek mumbles to himself.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
We ended up here.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx, now wrapped around Dave's shoulders, says, "Hungry."

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Pickle and cheese?
WHo packed this? I never make pickle and cheese?
Apheori (GM): It's staring at Gravy.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Did someone take my ham and lettuce sandwiches?
Wait, no, here they are.

RADEK
One part silver, three parts nitrogen... is it any wonder? They always ask when the answer's right in front of their noses...

RHU
(to Sphinx) Do you want more stories?
The sphinx: (still staring at Gravy) Stories.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have sandwiches.
So tough.
Well, I might have some soup.
Chicken and noodle.

RADEK
I'm... starting to hate walls.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want a sandwich?

RADEK
I want to be outside.
The Gravedigger shrugs.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
All i got is sandwiches.
Ganelon: Can't really fault him for that.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will eat some sandwiches.
Apheori (GM): The walls will make unhappy noises.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, ready.
Where now?
Ganelon: Back to the stairs, everyone?
Rhu stays well away from the sphinx, but starts telling it a story about the battle in the mountains saved by a divine wind

RHU
Yes, please! Stairs to get out of here with.
Apheori (GM): The sphinx devours the story but looks somewhat angry at parts.
Y'all head back to the stairs, the.
n
And Greibel.
Rhu nods at the sphinx, still keeping a distance.
Apheori (GM): Any remarks, or do y'all head on up the stairs and out?
Ganelon: Not from me, at least.
Frezak (GM): I'm good.
Gaurav: I'm still following Gravy wherever he goes.
Frezak (GM): I AM A BEACON IN THIS DARK LAND
And probably the most crazy of you people, you just don't know it.
Gaurav: Literally so, if you still have torches on your horns.
Frezak (GM): Oh, that too.
Gaurav: Probably, which is why it's best to stay behind you.
Frezak (GM): I can only charge forwards!
Apheori (GM): Or sit backwards.
You go up.
And up.
Aaaaand up.
Gaurav: We still have the mouseforged, the porridge, and the sphinx, right?
Apheori (GM): Dave winds up riding the diskfull of mouseforged.
Yes.
Anyone else care to try climbing on as well?
Frezak (GM): Nah, I'm endurable.
Gaurav: Rhu'll pass; it's tempting, but it looks plenty crowded as it is.
Ganelon: Radek would, but the strength in his legs is not worth the risk of him falling down a flight of stairs due to disk overpopulation.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: Plus he's carrying an orb and doesn't feel like sharing.
Even if that might protect him from falling down a flight of stairs.
Frezak (GM): I can carry Radek.
Apheori (GM): After an annoyingly long climb you come to a final door (there may have been a few on landings and crap on the way up), pass through, and wind up in a crypt.
Frezak (GM): Hmmm.

RHU
This is pretty deep, wherever "this" is.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead guys in here, Rhu?
Gaurav: How do I test this? Will a Perception check do?
Oh, Religion check!
rolling 1d20+8 religion checks the HECK out of this crypt
(
4
)
+8
=
12
Frezak (GM): You want me to use Gravyvision?
Apheori (GM): Apparently you came out through a secret door. Do you close it?

RHU
You sense nothing active.
Gaurav: With a '12', that probably means there's an undead hiding behind the next crypt >.<

RADEK
I'll go first.
Frezak (GM): Orcus is crouching behind a broom.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek?
Are you protected against magic?
Gaurav: You fool! He IS the broom!

RADEK
Quite possibly.
Frezak (GM): HAH
Gaurav: Does the secret door look like it might be impossible for us to find if we close it? Like, is it REALLY/magically well hidden?

RADEK
The research notes regarding this artifact stated that it blocks energy.
Apheori (GM): It's really well hidden, but since you know it's there it shouldn't be an issue.
No magic seems to be involved.
Rhu closes the secret door behind us

RADEK
Cold may be a concern.

RHU
So: crypt.
It might be time for Gravyvision.
The Gravedigger:
rolling 1D20+20
(
11
)
+20
=
31
Apheori (GM): It's fairly ordinary for a crypt - statues and sarcophagi and bones and crap.
Gravyvision detects light in that direction.
Frezak (GM): I GO TO THE LIGHT
Unless you mean it's my light;
Apheori (GM): And some shiny things amidst the bones.
Other light.
Ganelon: Shiny things sound important.
Or valuable.
Frezak (GM): Shiny things!
I examinate.
Ganelon: Or maybe we're all magpies. I wouldn't terribly mind that, either.
Gaurav: plot twist: we were magpies all along.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be coins put with the bones.
Frezak (GM): http://oglaf.com/illusionist/
GRAB
Shinies.
Gaurav: Frezak: ha ha HA
yay money!
Frezak (GM): moneymoneymoney
Gaurav: btw does the sphinx look anything like this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/121b86281db10bc66880e87180c140c2/tumblr_n3020vOjlJ1s83h8do2_1280.jpg
Frezak (GM): I'm sure it does indeed look like a scared peasant.
Gaurav: Scared?! Pretty sure that dude is just annoyed. "Not dragons AGAIN god fifth time this year"
Ganelon: "Oh. My. GOD. Fucking dragons AGAIN."
"I am so done with this."
Gaurav: "I'm moving to Egypt you only get the occasional sphinx there at least they're cute"
Frezak (GM): What, he's a teenage child?
Apheori (GM): It looks like a fluffy cat with wings.
A himalayan or something.
So what do you do?
Loot the crypt?
Frezak (GM): Any reason why not, guys?
Ganelon: Do you loot the dead?
Gaurav: oof, fluffy
Ganelon: Well, Radek is a godless sort.
He's got no objections.

RHU
We might want to look around for anyone who might be offended and/or armed first, but then ...
Frezak (GM): Waaaait.
no.
Gravy will have to put a stop to looting this place.
I forgot what his name meant for a moment.
I was blinded by gilt.
Coins down, find a way out.

RHU
I'm fine with that.
Gaurav: Just struck me that as a devout Hazz'ridanism, Rhu finds dead people creepy only when they don't stay in their crypts, and especially if they concern themselves with money or other baubles.
so he eyes the coins but doesn't pick 'em up when Gravy expresses his opinion
Frezak (GM): It's proffesionalism.
However.
I'm totes for killling living people and stealing their shit.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel is godless but doesn't much care about money either
Ganelon: Well yeah, of course.
Apheori (GM): And then burying them
?
Gaurav: Plus, Rhu is really happy that we seem to finally be getting out of this underground complex of dead people.
Ganelon: Weren't we all hired for that sort of ethical flexibility?
Frezak (GM): Sure.
I'll bury anyone.
Apheori (GM): So moving on, y'all look for a way out, which is to say you follow Gravy toward the faint light he saw.
Gaurav: Going to do a quick perception check around this crypt in case anyone missed anything
rolling 1d20+12
(
15
)
+12
=
27
Frezak (GM): good lord.
Gaurav: *shrugs*
Apheori (GM): It's not terribly interesting.
Gaurav: Fair enough.
Onwards!
Ganelon: FREEDOM!?
Apheori (GM): The light is a crack under a door. The door itself is locked.
What do?

RHU
(whispers) ... should we knock?
Ganelon: What kind of lock are we talking about here?

RHU
They might be a little creeped out that people want to _leave_ the crypt
Ganelon: Because if it's a padlock on the other side, we're in trouble.
Frezak (GM): I don't think knocking on the inside door of a locked crypt is smart.
What's the door made of?
Apheori (GM): Wood.
Frezak (GM): Yeah, that.
pfft.
Ganelon: Ah, so smashing is an option.
Frezak (GM): I want to listen to see if I can hear anything on the other side;
rolling 1D20+20
(
15
)
+20
=
35
Ganelon: But if the lock is pickable I might be able to do that.

DAWN
Would you knick if you were dead?
Apheori (GM): knock

RADEK
You're a zombie and you're asking us?
Apheori (GM): You hear voices, some conversation about smithing, and something about a brother.

DAWN
Am I?
Oh.
Cool!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Guys on the other side.

RHU
(to Dave) Gives them a chance to figure out that something's going on. If we barge in, they'll assume we're hostile and attack before asking questions.
I don't want to kill anyone I don't have to.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Chances are that if we knock, they'll run on account of undead hordes.

RHU
Right. See? Even less fighting necessary.
... do we want to tell them about ... down there? It might make sense to keep that to ourselves for now.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, no reason to tell them.
If we have to say, we were Hole'd
Rhu nods

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can anyone imitate a ghost?

RHU
Let's go say hi.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or zombie or whatever?
If we scare them off, I can just smash the door.

RHU
Imitate a ghost?
We could set the porridge on them.

DAWN
I'm a zombie.

RHU
Sentient porridge is pretty creepy.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Send it under the door?
Can you make zombie noises, Davenotdave?

RHU
Isn't there a cantrip allowing wizards to throw their voices or something?
Frezak (GM): Yeah, but none of us are wizards.

DAWN
Grooonk.
Er.
Frezak (GM): That sounds like a pig.
Dave looks embarassed.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
No, try like... HUUUURRRNNGHHHHH
NNNEEEUUUUAAAAAHHHH

DAWN
Hurrung?
Ganelon: Radek's an artificer. Not quite the same thing.

DAWN
Noom.
Dave waggles her fingers.
Gaurav: Dave is the cutest.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, someone do something.

GREIBEL
You guys are all wrong
A proper ghost noise is
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY

THE GRAVEDIGGER
...
Sorry, Greibel.

DAWN
Wiggly woo!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY

RADEK
...Greibel, just turn into a horde of spiders and chase them out, please.

GREIBEL
Oh hey, there's an idea
SPIDER ATTACK
Gaurav: DAMN
that's a good idea
Ganelon: Thank you.
Frezak (GM): Gorram.
I was gonna cover myself in bone-dust and charge through.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, so
Dave opens the door and peers behind it.
Greibel turns into a horde of spiders and goes under the door
Gaurav: Huh?

DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Ganelon: I thought the door was locked.
Gaurav: I thought it was locked?
Dave runs after them.
Frezak (GM): I tohught it was locked!
Apheori (GM): It was.
Apparently she unlocked it somehow.
Ganelon: Daaaave!
Gaurav: Huh. Sneaky.
Frezak (GM): Goddamit.

RHU
Now what do we do with this horde of spiders?
Gaurav: So how do the people one the other side respond to Dave+spiders?
Apheori (GM): Well, the spiders are through the door.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel will put himself back together eventually.
Apheori (GM): One of them shrieks and runs away.
Another just sort of stares.
A third facepalms.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
WOOGLY WOOGLY WOOGLY
Apheori (GM): I guess the fourth also just stares.
Bear Soup Guy: There's a LOT of spiders
Apheori (GM): It's a temple, four people (well, three now since one ran away). Two of them appear to be priests of some sorts.
Ganelon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYyO44U2BQ4
I imagine something close to this.

RHU
(looking at Mr. (Mrs?) Facepalm) Hey!
Apheori (GM): The spiders are a huge mass of spiders.
And Dave's just sort of running after them.
Ganelon: Except if our druid was also an evil genie I think I'd have noticed by now.
Gaurav: It would explain a lot.

RHU
Is this your crypt?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You can have it back.
Apheori (GM): The guy looks toward Rhu and Gravy and his mouth opens slowly and he just stares for a bit.
Ganelon: It would.
The Gravedigger waves.
Apheori (GM): Then he gets ahold of himself and glares at them.
Guy: Just what do you think you're doing?
Frezak (GM): For reference, I always imagince Gravy has a big backpack with a selection of shovels sticking out.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Walking our your crypt.

RADEK
Leaving, I would imagine.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
*walking out
Egressing.
Guy: You're graverobbers, are you?
You expect us to just let you walk out?

DAWN
Spiders!
The Gravedigger draw himself to full height.
The Gravedigger stomps to be toe-to-toe with the man.
Ganelon: Admittedly, you do kinda look like The Graverobber.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
Dave picks up a handful of spiders and waves them in the guy's face.

DAWN
Spiiiideers!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM THE GRAVEDIGGER.
I BURY PEOPLE.
I DO NOT FUCKING TAKE SHIT OFF THE DEAD
Apheori (GM): The guy falls over at the combined force of Gravy's voice and Daeś handful of Greibel.
Dave's*
Frezak (GM): "For a handfull of Greibel"
Ganelon: "Shit! This gigantic horned elf is really scary, but there are also spiders being shoved in my face and I hate those too! This is the worst day ever!"

DAWN
Spiders! Spiders!
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak (GM): Damn aracnophobes.
Apheori (GM): At this, the other non-priest also leaves, since this is apparently just a bit too much for him.
The other priest approaches and asks, "Okay, what were you doing in there?"
Frezak (GM): "I signed up for shrine maidens!"
"No-one told me about screaming horned giants"

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, we stepped through a Hole.
The Gravedigger continues to eye the first priest.
Priest 1 tries to crawl away backwards and runs into the rest of Greibel.
Priest 1 curls up into a ball and starts rocking.
Greibel skitters all across his face and stuff
Priest 2: A hole?
Gaurav: These priests need names.
Frezak (GM): The hippie druid has got my back!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hole. Capital H.
Rhu walks over to the door to this room and glances out

THE GRAVEDIGGER
A spot in the air where you step through and end up somewhere else?
Like a door without a frame.
Magic stuff.
Priest 2 looks the Gravedigger up and down.
Priest 2: Not one you dug yourself, then.
It came out in the crypt?

RHU
Like the big giant tree a day south of here. Holes in the universe. Like the anvils.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yep.

RHU
And we ended up in your crypt. Sorry about that. Nice crypt, though.

RADEK
Damned inconvenient things.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: The door leads outside - looks like you're back in Coffle, it's late afternoon.

RADEK
And dangerous, too.

RHU
My Lord Hazz'ridan, God of Dead Ends, would approve.
Hey guys? *grins* I think we're back in Coffle.
Priest 1 continues to rock back and forth, whimpering.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
There's gold lying about in there.
You should take better care of it.
Ganelon: I'm so happy with how this spider thing turned out.
Priest 2: Yes, this is Coffle.
Hazz'ridan, you say?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, that's great, Rhu.
Priest 2: So it's true, then. It's starting up again.

RHU
Yes, Hazz'ridan. *shows him the Hazz'ridan implement I wear on a string around my neck*
... what's starting up again?
(to Gravy) What's great?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
(to Rhu) we don't have to walk across worlds to get to the Car.
Priest 2: That is not a name of this world. Even in Arah it is barely known.
Travellers, though, sometimes bring mention...
Tell me, Wayfarer. Who reigns king of the sandcastle?

RHU
The Car! We can get out of here!
Frezak (GM): What.

RHU
What is an Arah?
Frezak (GM): GORRAMIT, RHU
Priest 2: Arah is the City of Doors. It connects the planes, different worlds which exist in tandem.
Now answer the question.

RHU
King of the sandcastle?
Priest 2: Who reigns?

RHU
King of the sandcastle.
o.0
0.o
Frezak (GM): Greibel.

RHU
0.0!!!!!!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Greibel.

RHU
It is Ajirahd and Irundha of Akrikdirin Vak who reign king of the sandcastle. You must remember this!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Lokshmi told you about a sandcastle.

RHU
Well, I had.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, you too?

DAWN
Akrikdirin Vak?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Why does no-one tell ME about sandcastles!

DAWN
But this is Arling Tor.
Wait, did you say Lokshmi?
The... the... the...
Dave gestures ineffectively, then shouts "SPIDERS!"
Priest 2: You are a very long way from home indeed.

RHU
Lokshmi was the name of a cat who spoke to us back in the land of the giant fish.
The sphinx: HUNGRY!

RHU
Yes, I suppose giant fish *would* make you hungry.
The sphinx jumps onto Amadi's head and looms overhead.
Frezak (GM): Amadi isn't here.
Gaurav: Wait, Amadi's back?
Ganelon: "Ajirahd and Irundha"
Apheori (GM): Dave, sorry.
Ganelon: That's what Lokshmi said to us.
Rhu backs away from Dave and cat.
Priest 2 backs away as well.
Ganelon: So... good on ya for remembering that.
Dave shakes the sphinx off and it lands in a heap on the floor.

RHU
So. Who are you guys? And what's starting again?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bad stuff.

RHU
Yes, but ... Sarathi-level bad stuff, or this-planet-level bad stuff?
Will there be giant fish, is what I want to know.
Priest 2: I am Doros, and that is Nereem (pointing to the spider-covered quivering ball).

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hrmph.

DOROS
We are priests of Kyrule, and this is his temple.

RHU
Ah. Hazz'ridan the Ending asked me to beat him over the head at some point, but I think he was joking.

DOROS
Beat Kyrule over the head.

RHU
These are the words of Hazz'ridan the Wise, but if you know what to make of them, you're a wiser elf than me.

DOROS
Why am I not surprised?
Apheori (GM): This guy isn't an elf.
Gaurav: Oh? Human?
Apheori (GM): Right.
Folks on this world seem to be mostly human.
Some elves.
Gaurav: Was the guy in the hologram video also human, then
?
Apheori (GM): He was an elf.
I just decided.
The sphinx walks over to the other priest and eats a spider.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have an archive/library?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
BAD SPHINX.
SPIT.
NO EATING THE DRUID
The sphinx grins at Gravy.
Frezak (GM): I CHARGE THE SPHINX
Rhu takes up a defensive position to Gravy's left
Frezak (GM): Have to say.
I love the Rhuvian support.
Apheori (GM): Roll something.
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+9+1
(
1
)
+9+1
=
11
Cat.... AC?
GORRAM
Gaurav: Someone's got to watch the flank.
oof
Frezak (GM): I'm surprisingly bad at hitting things.
Ganelon: I can't offer you a lot of support unless you want the sphinx legitimately dead.
Apheori (GM): You wind up tripping over it instead of attacking it.
Frezak (GM): GRAAAGH
I HATE THIS GORRAM CAT
Apheori (GM): The sphinx then trots over to Doros and stares up at him hungrily.
He looks down at it somewhat worriedly.
Frezak (GM): You know, Radek?
I'm totes cool with taking you up on that offer.
Ganelon: I'm mostly just worried about how powerful the sphinx really is.
Frezak (GM): I DONT CARE.
I HATE IT.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Can you guys exorcise a cat?
As in, banish the cat?

DOROS
I do not know.
What are you doing in the word of the living, sphinx?

RADEK
Tormenting us.
The sphinx: Hungry.

RHU
It's not really a cat, it's a sphinx from the City of the Dead. I call him Devourer when he behaves, which is rare.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Holy water?
Orbital cannon?
Vorpal blade?

RADEK
If only.

DAWN
You mean when he behaves well. All behaviour is behaving.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Neutron bomb?

DAWN
Is that...
...the sky?
Dave walks over to a window and stares out.

RADEK
Actually I might be able to manage that last one.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek.
We have to go back.
ANd get the One True Shovel.

RADEK
I'm telling you, that wasn't a shovel.

RHU
It is possible that I just mean behaving, as compared to chaotically -- sky?

RADEK
Now, if I could compress all that power into a shovel?
Perhaps.
But that would be beyond even my considerable talents.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
What do you need to do this?
How can I help?
Gaurav: But a man's reach should exceed his grasp / or what's a heaven for
Well, elf.

DOROS
You should know that it is not possible to truly kill a sphinx. You may be able to send it back to the City of Death for a time, but if it is determined to follow you, it will come back.
Greibel turns back to normal, sitting awkwardly on top of Nereem

THE GRAVEDIGGER
What if we just cut off it's legs?
Put it in a hole?
Nereem: Oh the humanity.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, you okay, Greibel?
Nereem collapses under the now localised weight.

GREIBEL
HONK!
No wait, that's not right
A-okay, Cap'n!

RHU
Ah. Well. That settles the killing-the-sphinx question, I guess.

DOROS
(to the sphinx) Stories, is it?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
How do we make it leave?

DOROS
How did you make it come?
The sphinx: Stories.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because Rhu keeps feeding it, and it just keeps a pain.
*keeps being a pain

RHU
I feed it because otherwise it goes crazy and attacks everybody.
Speaking of which ...
Ganelon: Are you about to go crazy and/or attack everybody?
Frezak (GM): Who?
Rhu tells the sphinx a long story about a particularly famous military campaign of years gone by
Gaurav: no, just coming up with a story to tell :)
Ganelon: Rhu.
Rhu keeps his distance from the sphinx as he tells this story, though

DOROS
How did you summon the sphinx?

RHU
He followed me. I .. ended up at the city of the dead after falling through the Hole in the abandoned lot somewhere near all the temples.
And when i came back, he showed up as well.
And when he gets hangry somebody loses an arm.
That's all I know.

DOROS
What did you offer it?
Rhu thinks

RHU
Er
Apheori (GM): Is greibel still sitting on the other priest? Because if so, Doros tells him to pliease get off.

RHU
I might have told him what we were up to, and then asked if he wanted to come with me and find out how that story ends?
Greibel stands up and starts apologizing as though he just realized
Radek slaps his forehead and groans.
Ganelon: It ends with us being eaten by a sphinx!

DOROS
You may have a problem.

RHU
I meant in the City of the Dead! I didn't think he'd follow me through ... Arah, was it? ... all the way back here!

DOROS
Who would?
Sphinxes don't leave. They just don't.
But nor do people talk to them.
Add one, and it seems you may get the oter.

RHU
... you're saying we can *bore* it into leaving?

DOROS
It's possible.
But given the nature of your quest, that by itself may be enough to keep its interest.
Ganelon: "Everyone, quickly!"
"Do nothing of interest!"
Frezak (GM): HIDE IN A HOLE

RHU
You're right, Doros. We can't really help being interesting.
Doros snorts.
Doros then walks over to Nereem, picks him up and sets him on his feet, and sends him into the back to sort himself out.

RHU
Do you guys have any thoughts on what's causing all these holes?
(that was to the priests)

DOROS
Which holes?

RADEK
The ones threatening to destroy this plane.

DOROS
It isn't just this plane.

RADEK
Indeed, though the one we're currently occupying still happens to be a more immediate concern.

RHU
Other planes are on their own at this pint.
point*

DOROS
When one falls, it takes those closest with it.

RHU
So: that would be a no?

DOROS
Ask your lord, who so despises holes.

RHU
He doesn't know. We're trying to work it out with his help.

DOROS
Then ask her.
Apheori (GM): He motions toward Dave, who is still staring at the clouds in awe.

RHU
Ask her what?

DOROS
What happened on Sarathi.

RHU
... did we ever ask her that? I don't think we did.
Apheori (GM): You realise that space has sort of changed. It is as though everything is thinner, darker - through it, you can see the canvas upon which the universe is painted. Time itself appears to have stopped, but you are still moving, still talking, within the bubble of the temple.
Dave looks back as well, seeing the change, reminding you that it happened, though you're not sure when.
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty sure this isn't normal.
Ganelon: I don't go to church, so who knows?

DOROS
She played Sarathi De. Her Twins blocked the sister of hearts, a name you know well, Wayfarer. What happened in the heart of the storm?
Frezak (GM): I'll... uh.... Clean my shovel >.>

DAWN
Twins?
The sphinx growls lowly.

RHU
She? You mean Dave?
And ... Sarathi De?
Wha?

DOROS
It was a game she played growing up.
Do you remember?

RHU
Huh.

DAWN
I don't remember anything.

RADEK
...Who are you, really?
Ganelon: That being to Doros.
Frezak (GM): I AM YOUR FATHER
The guy in the holograms was Future Radek
Bear Soup Guy: I am the heavens, I am the water

DOROS
I speak for Kyrule. It is by his will that we may speak.
Radek grumbles to himself. "...Gods."

DOROS
But despite his interest, he cannot be seen to act. Such are the laws of the world.
Bear Soup Guy: Ich bin der Dreck unter deinen Walzen

DAWN
Foot fungus.
Apheori (GM): Guys. do something.
Frezak (GM): I have notihng to contribute.

RHU
I'm just confused.
Apheori (GM): Blargh.
Frezak (GM): Apparently Dave is a god;

RADEK
So she's supposed to remember something. It's clear that she doesn't.
Gaurav: or played one as a kid.

RADEK
We're going to have to find Amadi again, aren't we?

DOROS
Perhaps she is the wrong fragment. Or perhaps she is exactly the right one for what you will need to do.
Gaurav: to translate the madness?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I fyou're just going to stand about and be cryptic, you might as well not say anything.
I'm going to go look for a pub.
Ganelon: More like to get a whole pile of new madness to sift through.
The Gravedigger trudges out.

DOROS
Amadi won't translate.
She should, but she won't.
Her mind is too fragmented, too broken. It should never have awoken at all, and yet it's all you have.
They are pieces, the two of them, of an old god who was bound and broken. There will be others. You may find them. Do not tell them what they are.

RHU
Broken, yes, that makes sense.

RADEK
I fix machines, not minds.

DOROS
They have the power to mend the universe.
It is who they were. Who they will be.

RHU
Oh hello.
Mending the universe. That sounds like what we need to do.
So: we're collecting weirdos.
We seem to be doing pretty well so far actually.

DAWN
It won't work.
It can't work.
It's gone.

RHU
What's gone?

DAWN
Why are you in a man?

DOROS
I am sorry, my beloved. I am so sorry.
Frezak (GM): You dirty, dirty boy.
Apheori (GM): Doros reaches out to touch her face, but then stops.
And then everything goes back to normal and he seems to sag.
Gaurav: ... Dave's got a boy-friend, Dave's got a boy-friend ...

RHU
Woah! What was that?

DOROS
I'm sorry. I need to rest.

RHU
Are you okay?
Doros nods, and says, "Good luck, Wayfarers. May you find your home again. Excuse me." He heads toward one of the back rooms.

RHU
Huh.
I wonder if he's one of the weirdos we need to collect
Apheori (GM) stares after him forlornly.
Dave stares after him forlornly.
Apheori (GM): Whoops.

RADEK
We've already assembled an impressive menagerie of lunatics.
Greibel absently tries to balance on one foot
Apheori (GM): Hah.
Quite.

RADEK
Now, come on. I have some blueprints to sell.
Ganelon: (Very probably session ending words there)
Gaurav: Just the two, no?
Ganelon: Well yeah, just two.
Frezak (GM): Didn't this town have a library or soemthing?

DAWN
(absently) She does remember. She just can't... reach it?
Apheori (GM): Whatever are you planning on doing with the mouseforged?
Ganelon: Good question.
I did propose the idea of building it an actual mouse body.
Frezak (GM): ...
A warmouse body, right?
Gaurav: YES
Ganelon: Yeah, basically.
Gaurav: Or we could find a normal mouse
and kill it
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
Gaurav: and take its body
Frezak (GM): WARMOUSE
Ganelon: For now I'll just drag it around, though.
It is walking, right?
Apheori (GM): It's on a disk.
Ganelon: Or at least amenable to suggestions of walking?
Frezak (GM): I thought it was still disked.
Ganelon: Right.
But can I make it walk?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't seem to be awake.
Ganelon: Hm. That's abnormal.
Gaurav: I don't remember a library in town earlier, but I don't mind looking for one now.
Frezak (GM): MR MOUSIE
Radekradekradek SAVE HIM
Ganelon: But maybe it's just trying to sleep and doesn't realize that Warforged don't really... do that.
Frezak (GM): There's a College.
Ganelon: They do have some kinda weird power-saving mode but they stay alert, and... ah, whatever, this is a mouse soul in a golem body.
Gaurav: oh, yes! a college! forgot about that.
Ganelon: Hell if I know how it actually works anymore.
Frezak (GM): And THEY might know about Warforged, too.
Since it's a magical construct.
Apheori (GM): You don't know if there is a library or not, but you expect there probably would be. It's decently large.
Ask around.
Frezak (GM): A guard told us about it.
I sort of assumed that we learnt where it was by magic >.>
Apheori (GM): The college probably has one of its own, but perhaps it's all there is.
Gaurav: Ask one of the hundreds of thousands of town guards milling around.
Apheori (GM): What Gaurav said.
Frezak (GM): I reach out and acquire a guard.
And ask him where the College is.
Apheori (GM): He hits you with his weapon thingy.
Frezak (GM): I can probably just step into the road, close my, eyes, and touch at least three guards.
What?
Apheori (GM): He didn't appreciate being acquired.
Frezak (GM): I didn't pick him up!
I acquired his attention!
Apheori (GM): Reaching out?
Frezak (GM): At worst, poked him!
Apheori (GM): Sounds like a grab to me.
And he smacked you as a reflex.
Gaurav: Slip him some gold coins, boom, acquired
Frezak (GM): I did not grab him!
I poked him!
Apheori (GM): Okay, fine.
He tells you it's down there in some direction.
Frezak (GM): Is he as vague as you?
Apheori (GM): The directions are sound.
Frezak (GM): Or is that just you?
Right.
Apheori (GM): That
s me.
Gaurav: We should take down the address to the temple of Kyrule
in case we need to spend more time with Dave's boyfriend
Ganelon: Probably her ex, really.
Frezak (GM): TOT HE COLLEGE
Apheori (GM): What about Rorik?
Frezak (GM): Oh, right.
Sure.
Ganelon: They don't need to follow me.
Frezak (GM): We might get some lewt
We're not in any rush.
Apheori (GM): Does Radek go there, then? Does anyone follow?
Or do you want to call it a night now?
Frezak (GM): I dunno.
How are you guys for time?
Gaurav: I'm okay with calling it or going on.
Ganelon: Seems a nice place to stop
Gaurav: I've been slow in resopnding because I'm on the phone with my sis, but that wil lend at some point.
Ganelon: It's late-ish and people are going to start scrabbling for my attention.
Frezak (GM): Scrabbling!
Bear Soup Guy: Mid-afternoon here, I could conceivably keep up for a few hours, but yeah, people will eventually SCRABBLE for my attention as well
Gaurav: nobody wants me! i am scrabble free.
Frezak (GM): No-one gives a damn about my attention for... uh... Several days.
Ganelon: They won't ask to play Scrabble with me, though I would accept if they did.
Apheori (GM): So what are we doing?
ARE WE CONTINUING AND CAN I TORMENT YOU?
Frezak (GM): I have about an hour.
I'd just like to see what we can get out of Rurik.
Gaurav: Let's keep going?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Frezak (GM): Before he is defeated by a snowdrift.
Apheori (GM): Hazz will talk to Rhu on the way.
Gaurav: yay!
Apheori (GM): And I have to go to the bathroom, so I'll be right back.
Frezak (GM): Loooo
Apheori (GM): You may talk amongst yourselves as you walk to the weaponshop.
Yes, loo.

RHU
...
is it just me or has it been a pretty weird day
Frezak (GM): RHu has a +1 shirt?
Anyone else have +1 gear?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's pretty much what I expected.
THis must be what being Greibel is like.
Greibel tried walking on his hands
Greibel tries*
Frezak (GM): Turn to monkeys.

RHU
It's not a +1 shirt, it's a cloth armour that gives me +1 to ... something
defense or something
Frezak (GM): Armour of Faith?
You get extra AC for... not using armour.
Gaurav: I think I get +1 from the Armour, and then I get some additional bonus from Armour of Faith
sorry, I'm not really interested in my stats. If you're curious I could go check.
Frezak (GM): I just want to know whether you magic shizzle :P

RADEK
Well, at least it felt productive.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
What are you going to do with your invinciorb?
Gaurav: Armor of Faith gives me +3. It doesn't look like the cloth armour gives me anything by itself. No magic in sight.

RADEK
Study it, of course. Replicate it, if I can manage.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
If we get into a fight.
You're in first.

RADEK
Though it didn't seem like the scientists who found the thing had any success with that.
Gaurav: Rhu should get the inviciorb. He can miss all the attacks he likes if nobody can hurt him!
Frezak (GM): I'm the one that keeps missing!
(To Rhu): So Hazz tells you that this is new, Kyrule is not what he seems, and neither is Eapherod. This is all very interesting.
(To Rhu): Basically it resembles Radek's mutterings in a way and you don't understand most of it.
Ganelon: Everyone wants my awesome artifact!
(From Gaurav): *nods and pretends to understand*
Frezak (GM): Being invincible is nice.

RHU
Hazz'ridan seems confused by this Kyrule. So he says. In my head. As he sometimes does.
(To Rhu): With things about the small girl and her cat and the game, and Rhi, and pieces of stars, and something about trees.
(To Rhu): It actually seems rather optimistic, though. Somehow.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Write down the good bits from the voices in your head.

RHU
He also says something about a small girl and her cat and the game, which sounds to me like it might be about Dave maybe. Something about star pieces. Something about trees -- maybe the guardian trees of the Hole near the village?
I am a worshipper of Hazz'ridan. I write down ALL the bits.
He seems .. happy. Optimistic. Things are looking up in Hazz'ristan.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds bad >.>
Your god rarely heralds good things for us.
What with his domain being... non-progression.

RHU
What about the time he saved us at the pool?
He's mostly been good for us, I think.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
He did?
Eh.
Gaurav: But then, I suppose Rhu would.

RHU
He cured our madness before we all went into the pool after Azariphale.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Right.
I'lll.. uh.. think on that.
The Gravedigger edges around Radek.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's... uh... get some money?

RADEK
Yes, let's.

RHU
Where are we heading?

DAWN
To our respective dooms.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
The weaponmaker guy.
Apheori (GM): You get to the shop.
There's a really fat guy at the counter arguing with Rorik.

RHU
(to Dave) How do you know that priest? Do you remember?
Frezak (GM): I'll just stand behind the fat guy and lean over him.
Ganelon: Let me go look up what he offered us.
Frezak (GM): And catch Rurik's attention.
And then direct him to the scienceman.

DAWN
What? No. That wasn't the priest.
Ganelon: 500 for the blueprints, he said.
But that might have just been the explosives.
Apheori (GM): The fat guy looks up slowly with a terrified piggy expression.
Ganelon: Price of the explosives, rather.
Frezak (GM): I'll ignore the fat guy.
Ganelon: ...Yeah. These blueprints are getting us a crate of explosives that could put a hole in the planet, according to miss DM here.
Apheori (GM): He wanted to straight trade blueprints for explosives.
Ganelon: Well, when assembled.

RADEK
Good day, Rorik.
Apheori (GM): Please don't blow up the planet.
Ganelon: Don't worry, I still need the planet.
I'll use these materials semi-responsibly, I promise.
Frezak (GM): Well, some of it.
Rorik: Ah, hello! Hello!
You have what I need?
I have what you need.
Gaurav: No point wasting planet.

RADEK
Right here!
Ganelon: I produce blueprints for a rifle and laser pistol, freshly scrawled!
Possibly annotated!
Apheori (GM): You make the trade - box of parts for a set of possibly annotated blueprints.
Ganelon: There may be something about an undead chicken on one of them!
Gaurav: Signed by the one and only Radek.
Apheori (GM): The fat guy keeps insisting Rorik pay attention to him, but he just ignores him.
XD
Gaurav: Wasn't there something about chickens in our dream?
Apheori (GM): Rorik looks them over and nods and lays them out on a workbench.
He also asks that you please let him know what happens when you try blowing up the weirdness; he's very interested.
Frezak (GM): I'm sure he'll find out!
Apheori (GM): Very interested, but not really paying you any mind at all anymore.

RADEK
Gladly!
Ganelon: That's okay, I've already started gibbering over this box of raw explosive power in my hands.
Apheori (GM): Men of like minds, eh?
Ganelon: And to think!
I have an artifact that might just allow me to survive the blast now!
Apheori (GM): Oh gods.
Frezak (GM): Is there a way you can use the artifact to create an external bubble?
TO contain an explosion?
Ganelon: But if there's any limit to its shielding potential I probably don't want to test that.
Frezak (GM): And NOT nuke everything else?
Gaurav: How would we test such a bubble?
Frezak (GM): By putting a bomb in it!
Ganelon: (Honestly, Apheori, I just said that to scare you. I don't have plans to abuse this.)
Apheori (GM): That sounds like it was exactly what the research the uunderground folks were doing on it was.
The answer would be yes, but they didn't go into much detail about how
.
Ganelon: (I might make plans to abuse it, but I'm a pretty nice player.)
Apheori (GM): Don't worry. Even if you do abuse it, this setting is abuse.
Ganelon: It's fun!
It's easy to see why you like it.
Frezak (GM): I'm regretting picking a Warden.
Gaurav: it's not like blowing up reality is going to affect reality all that much around these parts
might be it stabler, even
Frezak (GM): We could blow up the Realm of the Dead.
ANd get rid of the cat
Apheori (GM): I'd like to see that.
It would not end well, but it might be amusing.
Gaurav: I would not like to see that, unless I'm safely in another universe far, far away.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
You can leave the shop or you can watch Dave get into an argument with the fat guy.
CHOOSE.
Frezak (GM): Why is Dave talking to the fat guy?
Ganelon: Tough call.
Apheori (GM): He cornered her when Rorik quit paying any attention to him.
Gaurav: Dyuknow what, sticking close to Gravy has been a good move all day today. Where he goes, I go.
Does she still have Devourer with her?
Frezak (GM): I'll just lean over the fat guy, pick up Dave, and walk off.
Apheori (GM): He's telling here how important he is and what an affront all this is and how everyone will regret it and crap.
She's tell him that the sphinx is really fluffy and cute and hungry and she wonders if maybe it would like to eat him.
...now read that with less typos.
So then he's telling her that that's preposterous and how she wouldn't dare and how he's too important for this.
Ganelon: Two new additions to my journal:
Energy-Shielding Artifact
Crate of Inert Explosives (Planetary Hole Sized)
Apheori (GM): So then she's telling him that muffins are more important and there really isn't a whole lot that a sphinx wouldn't dare, and it really is quite hungry...
Frezak (GM): Picking up Dave and walking out.

RHU
Dave! We should get a mov-- never mind.
Apheori (GM): Good move.
Frezak (GM): It's the move I tried earlier >.>
Apheori (GM): Agh.
Frezak (GM): To the College!
Apheori (GM): This thing makes it entirely too easy to miss lines.

RADEK
Marvellous. I'm in quite a cheerful mood, for once.

RHU
So where are we heading now?
</pre>

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