View source for Holes/Session 31

<pre>
Apheori (GM): I'm here.
BEGIN SESSION.
Apheori (GM) becomes Dave and runs away.
Ganelon: Radek continues to be soggy and more than a little relieved that someone kidnapped Dave.
Ellemerr: Meanie.
Ganelon: He is cynically confident, however, that Dave will find her way back to him in good time.
Frezak (GM): Dude, I'm glad Dave is gone too.
Apheori (GM): Rhu is passed out and can wake up at any point to discover he can't see anything.
Frezak (GM): I will share that belief.
Gaurav: Rhu is conveniently unconscious so he doesn't have to go running after Dave by himself. Don't split the party and all that.
Frezak (GM): And will carry RHu if he doesn't wake up.
Apheori (GM): The DM shouldn't propose these things, but it would be totally awesome if Radek did some more digging in Rhu. This time his brain.
Gaurav: Huh. That doesn't sound worth getting up for.
Ganelon: Most likely because her kidnapper will soon realize that he's effectively stolen the cursed Aztec gold that will make his life an unending nightmare without sensation.
Whoa, whoa.
Radek is not a brain surgeon.
Apheori (GM): So?
Doesn't he like to experiment?
Frezak (GM): Not with MEATSACKS
Ganelon: Less so on oozy flesh things, yeah.
Apheori (GM): Pfft, fine.
Ganelon: I mean, he'd DO it...
Ellemerr: ... *with a strange glint to her eyes* Amadi could do it...
Ganelon: But not if anyone were to hold him liable for the result.
Apheori (GM): Is anyone attached to Rhu?
Gaurav: judging from the level of technology on this planet, Rhu is as likely to be trepanned as to end up with fanged peas in his eyeballs
if we go see an actual surgeon, I mean
Ganelon: I don't want to hurt his feelings by saying "no".
Frezak (GM): Well he's part of the team.
Apheori (GM): Does Greibel still have some fanged peas?
Frezak (GM): I'm not going to advocate cutting his head to bits for no reason.
Bear Soup Guy: Probably but I think they've gone off by now
Now, alas, they are merely molar peas
Apheori (GM): The better to cannibalise other peas?
Frezak (GM): Now there's only the Alpha Pea left.
Bear Soup Guy: That is an excellent point.
Yes, per Frezak
The lone survivor. Bearded and grizzled.
Gaurav: A bearded pea?
Ellemerr: A bearded fanged pea-
Bear Soup Guy: THE bearded, fanged pea
Gaurav: Yes.
Apheori (GM): It's like Purple Tentacle.
Gaurav: So, leaving Rhu in the pit of we're-not-running-behind-Dave-just-yet, should we head for town?
Frezak (GM): One Pea to rule them all
And in the pocket eat them?
Gaurav: The bearded, fanged, evil-genius pea?
Frezak (GM): Well i'll carry Rhu.
Gaurav: Yay!
Apheori (GM): If you did run after Dave, I would be seriously disappointed.
Rhu dreams of electric sheep
Apheori (GM): Well, letting Rhu do it could be pretty funny.
But the rest of you... you're smarter than that.
Ellemerr: I am? O_o
Apheori (GM): Oddly, yes.
Ganelon: Kidnapping Dave is seriously like stealing cursed Aztec gold.
You're only making things worse on yourself.
It might seem like a great idea at the time, but then you discover that your life has become an unending nightmare without sensation.
Except you can still feel her poking you.
Over. And over. And over.
Gaurav: o.0
Frezak (GM): Is she pokey?
That sounds more like Amadi.
Apheori (GM): They sometimes learn from each other.
Ellemerr: Other times we stop doing things we'd normally do because the other one is doing it and no way am I going to behave like /Dawn/ (and vice versa).
Apheori (GM): XD
Dave might act like you!
But then you'd stop?
Er, anyway.
Everything is nice and peaceful and stinky. Has Gravy burried everything?
Is Rhu in a grave?
Frezak (GM): Aside from the big guy.
I'd have pulled Rhu out before filling that grave.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You going to bury the big guy?
The Gravedigger: I don't do Ogres.
Apheori (GM): Or are you a wuss?
Wuss.
You'll never progress to houses at this rate.
Frezak (GM): You done?
We allowed to move forwards yet?
Apheori (GM): You may do whatever you please.
Ganelon: The old man is definitely eager to get out of here.
Frezak (GM): Well let's go in the direction indicated by the last guard.
Gaurav: Sounds good to me.
(To Rhu): You should wake up.
Gaurav: Can we get moving please? Hazz' is trying to wake me up. Asshole.
He's going to have to beat a 14 Fort to do it.
Ellemerr: Moving!
Gaurav: Or an 18 Will.
Apheori (GM): Y'all head down the road to town.
It's not very interesting.
I forgot what time of day it is, and so has the world.
Everyone except Rhu roll sanity please.
Gaurav: Yet another advantage to being asleep.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Apheori (GM): Frezak: I need something that isn't a 1 from you, please.
Ellemerr:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Ganelon: But these are the best rolls to get 1s on.
Gaurav: ^
Is there a doctor in the town?
Or a phone booth?
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20
(
9
)
=
9
One day I will walk through walls again!
Hey, what happened about me digging back for the All-Shovel?
Apheori (GM): Okay.
There's an explosion in the woods somewhere, possibly in the direction Dawn went.
Do you ignore it?
Please tell me you ignore it.
Radek: She's probably fine.
Radek pauses to think for a moment, and then adds to ensure absolute clarity.
Radek: Also, I don't care.
The Gravedigger shrugs.
Amadi yells in the direction of the noise,
Amadi: Dawn, if I have to puzzle you back together I'll kill you! I don't like that kind of patience games!
Amadi grumbles a bit.
Apheori (GM): Well, anyway, you get to the town around midmorning.
It's a bunch of buildings around a road, with some carraiges by some of them, and a weird docking structure that anyone with any eye for engineering would probably figure out is airshi-related.
There's a general store, an inn, a whole lot of random houses and crap scattered around, some sort of pumping station, a bunch of guards arguing over a dead body, and an old lady stuck in a tree.
Gaurav: Pumping station?
We should investigate the old lady in the tree as a possible Dave replacement.
Ganelon: I'll assume the old lady's cat has already called for the authorities to rescue her.
Apheori (GM): It has pumps coming out of the ground. And, like, pipes and stuff.
You look and see the cat sitting under the tree licking its paws.
Ganelon: Cats are treacherous creatures.
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Frezak (GM): Teachery is only when you don't expect it.
Someoen go see if the body is necrotic.
Apheori (GM): Hey, somtimes they cooperate.
Gaurav: I'd like Rhu to remain unconscious until we bed down for the night so he can do the it's-1am-and-I'm-wide-awake thing, but I can wake him up if we need more people running around rolling perception or anything.
Ganelon: If Rhu isn't awake, I guess that leaves me to check for evidence of zombification, huh?
Apheori (GM): ROLL TO WAKE UP.
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
6
)
=
6
Apheori (GM): Hmph.
Gaurav: Hooray!
Apheori (GM): Radek: All on you.
Or Greibel.
GREIBEL! DO SOMETHING AWESOME.
That may or may not have anything to do with any current situation.
Ganelon: Uh...
What skill is that? Heal?
Apheori (GM): Or you could just smell it.
Well, yes.
Ganelon: Zombies smell different from inanimate corpses?
rolling 1d20+9
(
17
)
+9
=
26
Gaurav: If you sniff at it and it goes "do you mind", it might be undead.
Apheori (GM): I guess 'heal' would be how you know if they smell different or not.
IT IS...
Yes.
It's an undead girl.
Bear Soup Guy: Sorry was away for a second
Apheori (GM): Probably a teenager. Looks like she turned, got shot, died.
Bear Soup Guy: Does the officer investigating the corpse mind that Radek is just prodding at it now?
Apheori (GM): Does he prod it?
Bear Soup Guy: Well that's a good question too
Ganelon: Nah, he'll just stare and stroke his beard wisely.
Frezak (GM): What's the argument about, while he's there?
Apheori (GM): Actually, the officer takes one look at Radek and says, "It's about time. What is it?"
Ganelon: But mostly to get the water out.
Apheori (GM): The others all stop arguing and stare at Radek in anticipation.
Frezak (GM): Gravy will sort of generally plod behind Radek unless I say anything different.
Ellemerr: This is awesome.
Apheori (GM): One of the guards asks Radek, pointing to Gravy, "Um, who's he?" Another jokes that it's clearly his assistent, you dumbarse.
Radek: This girl was undead for a time, yes?
Frezak (GM): I'll just look at them gravely.
Apheori (GM): But not like a graveling.
Frezak (GM): (Pensive Minotaur again, Gan!)
Ganelon: On it.
http://www.artofmtg.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Pensive-Minotaur-Art.jpg
Ellemerr: You are a pretty good secretary. I just thought I should let you know.
Ganelon: Thank you.
Apheori (GM): The leader of the guards asks, "She took sick. How could she become an undead without... well, dying?"
Frezak (GM): You can tell he's the leader because his hat is bigger.
Radek: Simple. Her sickness killed her.
Frezak (GM): MINDS BLOWN
BRAINS EVERYWHERE
Radek: Really now, is that what you were arguing over?
Frezak (GM): "Oh, you bumpkins!!"
Ganelon: One of these days, I'm going to roll a skill check to blow someone's mind.
Frezak (GM): I could.... blow air really hard in someone's ear?
That's the best I'd get.
Apheori (GM): Another is like, "I'm telling you, that's what's happening! It's been spreading out of the..." but the leader guy cuts him off to say something important.
Ganelon: Something more important than that?
Apheori (GM): He thinks it is.
It's something like, "What about Gerard, is that what happened to him?"
That minotaur is adorable.
He's looking at the leg like WHAT IS THIS?
Ganelon: Not "what", madame.
"Why" is this.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): Why could be part of what.
I mean, the entire universe is a whole lot of whats. The whys fit in and add more whats.
Gaurav: Any updates on the cat/old lady/tree situation?
Apheori (GM): Does Radek say anything, or let the guards play out their whatever it is?
Radek: I have reason to believe this sickness is infectious. You would do well to quarantine the body and those who begin to show symptoms.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The old woman in the tree is staring at you.
Ganelon: Get a briefing on the situation from her cat.
You can speak cat.
Guard: You don't mean... Gerald is going to do this?
Amadi waves enthusiastically at the old woman.
Another guard: What have I been trying to tell you people?!
Radek almost makes an effort to sound like he cares in the interests of drama, but fails.
Radek: I'm afraid so.
Greibel looks up at the old woman
Amadi looks down at the cat.
Apheori (GM): The other guard is starting to get very exasperated with the others, but thanks Radek for backing him up since it's about time SOMEONE grasped the blatantly obvious.
The leader guard guy tells him he should go home now.
One of the other guards mentions something about checking on Gerald and scuttles off.
The one who thanked Radek glares at the leader guy and mutters something about incompetent big city wannabes.
Gaurav: Poor Gerald.
Radek points at the dissenting guard with one hand while using the other to continue stroking his beard.
Radek: You... seem more sensible than the rest.
Ganelon: Or at least more cynical, which is always a good thing in his books.
Guard: You mean because I'm not a complete moron?
Apheori (GM): The lead guard yells at him that he's dismissed and needs to go home NOW.
Frezak (GM): I will tun my soulful gaze on the lead guard.
Gaurav: Can we rename him to "Ex-guard" now?
The one who was fired, not the one about the face the full wrath of Gravy
Apheori (GM): The dissenting guard tells him to fuck off, he's not even his boss.
The not his boss says something about sending paperwork to the other's superiors.
There's a remaining other guard and that sone tries to stop all this by pointing out that we kind of have bigger issues right now that paperwork, but get ignored.
he gets*
Radek: An intelligent man surrounded by morons? Oh yes, I understand all too well.
Greibel plods over to the tree with the cat and the woman
Apheori (GM): You hear shots from one of the buildings.
Greibel: Excuse me, do you need help?
Radek: The one problem that even *my* genius has never been able to solve.
Amadi meows.
Old lady: Help?
Son, what do you take me for, some frivolous little damsel?
Frezak (GM): Just shots or shots and voices?
Greibel: I think you mean "frail" but no, I just meant it looks like you're stuck in a tree.
Apheori (GM): The other guard and the captain or whatever he is run to the building the shots came from. No accompanying voices.
Old lady: Oh, well, really I'm stuck in a cat. Be a dear and move it for me, will you?
Frezak (GM): I'll look at Radek.
Apheori (GM): The intelligent guard sighs and doesn't do anything either.
Amadi: The cat says hi.
The Gravedigger: So, do you need this body buried?
Amadi does more elaborate meowing.
Apheori (GM): The cat shrugs and says something about chickens.
Frezak (GM): is Amadi trying to say anything in cat or just making meow noises? :p
Apheori (GM): The guard asks Radek if that will stop it from spreading.
Greibel: Hmmmph...
Ganelon: This isn't something Radek actually knows, is it?
Greibel: Hey there kitty...kitty kitty...
rolling 1d20+13 nature
(
9
)
+13
=
22
Gaurav: Vague cats are the worst.
Apheori (GM): Gan: Nope. You can do a heal check to maybe find out, though. Or possibly arcana? Which would make sense?
Ganelon: I'll stick with heal. Arcana does not encompass ALL SCIENCE, after all.
Kitty: Hey.
Ganelon: Medical science in particular has nothing to do with Arcana.
rolling 1d20+9
(
16
)
+9
=
25
Greibel: Hey. What's the deal with this tree and stuff?
Apheori (GM): But zombie science... well, I dunno.
Gan: It might spread into the ground, but it seems the zombieness goes away after awhile once dead dead, so it's probably as good a way to stop it as any.
Certainly better than BURNING them, since that would just put it in the atmosphere.
Radek glances back at Gravy.
Radek: You're going to like this.
Bear Soup Guy: brb bathroom
Radek: The best way to curb this infection... is to bury the dead. Preferably in an area without much vegetation.
Kitty: There seems to be a lady stuck in it. It's quite interesting.
Old lady: Oy, move that cat so I can get down already!
The Gravedigger poses.
The Gravedigger: This I can do!
Ellemerr: *giggles*
Radek: Don't make the mistake of burning them, and don't allow the infected to interact with healthy individuals.
The Gravedigger: Direct me to a greaveable area and you will witness the ART of the GRAVEDIGGER
Radek: Maybe I'll work on a cure if I have the time.
The Gravedigger: BURN THEM?
BURN THEM????
BARBARIAN.
Ahem.
If you would, Mr. Guard?
Radek: (To the guard) He's all yours. Don't worry, he's the most tolerable moron I know.
Frezak (GM): Aw, man.
That hurts.
Ganelon: Backhanded compliments are the only kind I can deliver.
Frezak (GM): He has 12 Int!
he's a genius!
Ganelon: When you have 20 int, everyone looks like a moron.
Apheori (GM): He has the lowest INT of anyone in the party.
Ganelon: ...Really?
Apheori (GM): Since DAve is gone, yes.
Ganelon: Rhu certainly acts like he has less than 12.
Gaurav: Despit having 14, yes.
Frezak (GM): It's still higher than the average person.
Apheori (GM): Amadi has 16, but using it is optional.
Average includes lesser races.
Gaurav: Does it include fanged peas?
Apheori (GM): Anyway, the guard guy says he's not sure since this isn't his town, but there should be a graveyard over thatwaysish.
He directs Gravy thatwayish.
Which actually is specific when he says it.
Frezak (GM): I twiddle a horn and use Gravyvision to detect the graveyard.
rolling 1D20+20
(
13
)
+20
=
33
Eyes turn into headlights.
Apheori (GM): The graveyard is thatwayish, and is indeed about what you wanted.
The Gravedigger: Now! Where are your corpses?
Guard: There's probably another one inside.
Ganelon: "We've only got the one-"
"There's been a murder!"
"...The two?"
"Double homicide!"
"The three."
Guard: May be a few more if they go fondling the corpses like they so wanted to with this one.
Idiots!
Frezak (GM): "All killed by shovels, somehow."
The Gravedigger: On it!
GRAAAAAVES
Frezak (GM): Charges to the building.
Guard directs Gravy to the building the other guards went in. It sounds quiet.
Apheori (GM): You charge in?
Frezak (GM): I charge /to/ and then politely knock on the door.
Greibel: (To the cat) She seems to think you're keeping her from getting down.
Frezak (GM): I am imaginging him exploding through the door and screaming GRAAAAVES as splinters rain down.
But he's not doing that.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You get no response.
So you can still explode through if you want.
Well, justifiably.
Easily justifiably.
Maybe.
Depending on who you're justifying it again.
Apheori (GM): Well, at, I mean.
Kitty: Who, me? I'm just a concerned citizen.
Just like the whole chicken debacle all over again...
Kitty mutters incoherently.
Amadi giggles in Kitty. Which might sound sort of like purring with hiccups.
Old lady: What is that damned rat telling you now?
Frezak (GM): I'll knock powerfully.
Old lady: Move it already!
Frezak (GM): And if I still get no response, go look and see who of the party is nearby.
Or at least no busy.
Which is... Radek?
Apheori (GM): The guard goes and opens the door, pokes his head inside, and loudly asks if anyone is alive.
The voice of the lead guard yells at him to go away.
Greibel: (To the cat) Do you mind if I move you? She might starve if she just stubbornly sits up there yelling at the world for too long.
Kitty: Yes.
Greibel: Yes you mind?
Kitty: Yes.
Greibel: Okay then.
Amadi: [in Cat] Yes.
Greibel: Will you at least keep an eye on her?
Kitty giggles.
Greibel looks at Amadi inquisitively.
Greibel looks at Amadi and points vaguely up into the tree
Kitty: Radek is the closest conscious one.
Apheori (GM): Er, ooc.
Amadi grins cheshirely.
Ganelon: Radek looks like he doesn't want to solve any more domestic crimes today.
But he's watching for lack of anything better to do.
The Gravedigger: 'scuse me! Just need any bodies you have up there!
Gaurav: Bring out your dead!
Amadi fades away even more cheshirely, leaving the grin for last, and reappears in the tree some time later.
Frezak (GM): "And if you don't give them I will fucking take them and/or make some!"
Kitty purrs at Griebel.
Apheori (GM): Gravy: There's a grumbling and someone asking if this is really necessary and then he yells that they're all in the room by the kitchen.
Frezak (GM): I will move in to acquire them.
Apheori (GM): The guard with you suggests that Radek follow him and try to check covertly if anyone is infected, because if so this could get messy, and heads in too.
Gaurav: Is Gravy still carrying Rhu?
Frezak (GM): Yes.
Unless Rhu moved.
You're over a shoulder.
Greibel looks, slightly distressed, at the tree
Gaurav: Nope. Still as stone. Awesome, thanks!
Apheori (GM): Gravy: You and the guard wind up in a room with two dead bodies, a dormant zombie, and three possibly infected guards, including the captain.
Who is incredibly irate at this point.
Frezak (GM): Dormant?
Apheori (GM): It's not moving and looks dead, but you have gravyvision.
YOU CAN'T BURY IT LIKE THIS.
Or maybe you can, I dunno.
But it also don't have charred holes in it.
Unlike the others.
Gaurav: I suppose there's no reason to tell them about the other captain we met/fought an ogre with/lost a godling to?
Ganelon: Radek will grumpily follow because this could escalate into a major inconvenience for him if he doesn't fix it all now.
The Gravedigger: 'scuse me.
Apheori (GM): Radek winds up in the room too.
The Gravedigger: That one's a zombie.
Not a corpse.
Mind if I...
Apheori (GM): The guard leader captain guy yells at Radek to explain what the hell is going on.
The Gravedigger: *waves shovel*
Apheori (GM): Your guard mutters something about how a nice shovel hit could resolve so many problems.
Old lady yells at Greibel to move that damn cat.
Greibel looks back and forth from the lady to Amadi to the cat
Apheori (GM): The leader guard guy apologises and says it's been a long day. Could you look at these too?
Gaurav: Our guard needs a name. Entirely too many guards.
Kitty grins at Amadi.
Radek: Gravy is a qualified professional.
Greibel: I'm sorry. Last time I went against a cat's wishes there was a battle with Gods and spells and fire and then the cat might have cursed everyone.
He seems to like staying where he is.
Ganelon: (Not specifying what he's a professional of)
Greibel: Why is he keeping you from getting down?
Radek: He can resolve nearly any issue with a sufficient mortality rate.
Old lady: That's... personal!
Amadi purrs and rubs herself against the old lady.
The Gravedigger: I'm going to need to smack this one before it stands up.
Old lady: Just move him, will you?
Gaurav: 1. Is there an issue? 2. Kill someone. 3. Go to #1.
Greibel shakes his head
Greibel: Amadi, what do you think?
Frezak (GM): That's a lovely problem-solving technique that I approve of.
Apheori (GM): The guard captain guy says something about not making a mess.
The guard with you just shoots it instead.
It starts to wake up so he shoots it again, this time in the head.
And it like stops and stuff.
The Gravedigger: That works too.
I'll just leave this guy outside.
Frezak (GM): He props Rhu outside.
Radek: (To the guards) Are any of you infected?
Frezak (GM): Since he's not goingt o bundle him with the corpses.
Amadi tells the kitty to give her a good reason to not move it.
Kitty says something about horrible curses and bad luck and no, there really isn't a good reason unless you like mildly inconveniencing random people for the hell of it.
Apheori (GM): The guards look at Radek like he's insane.
The guard captain guy says of course they aren't.
Amadi laughs.
Amadi: (in cat, of course.)
Frezak (GM): back in a bit
Radek: Let me see your eyes.
Apheori (GM): The guard with you mentions that it's not even worth checking, why would anyone bring it up, and then the guard captain is suddenly a lot less resistent to being checked.
Radek: The captain's eyes are fine. One of the other guards is fine. The last one isn't.
Or is he?
Roll.
Radek:
rolling 1d20+9
(
2
)
+9
=
11
Ganelon: Uh oooooh
Apheori (GM): He's not fine.
Amadi: (to Greibel, still in cat) Do you want me to move the cat? I think it has good enough reasons, and the lady is too loud and obnoxious, but I can move it if you want. I almost promise that I can guarantee no bad things happening to you because of it, too!
Radek makes a long series of "hmms" and troubled shakes of the head as he inspects the guardsmen.
Radek: I'm sorry to say that all three of you are idiots who depend on the guidance of strangers to solve problems you should be qualified to handle yourselves.
Greibel: Do you think he'll just move on his own eventually? That would be nice for everyone.
Radek points and the last guard.
Radek: Also, /you/ are going to turn into a zombie and you need to be quarantined.
Bear Soup Guy: You tell 'em, Radek!
Frezak (GM): yeah!
Gravy will look imposing.
And go 'hmmm' sagely.
Guard: Strangers? Aren't you the forensics guy?
Amadi: Er...
Gaurav: God, Radek is awesome.
Ganelon: Aw shit, do I not have sunglasses to put on?
I can't be a CSI without sunglasses.
Apheori (GM): The guard you pointed at tries to run away.
Old lady: Pleaaaase move that cat?
Gaurav: Maybe we can get the old lady out of the tree some other way.
Amadi: Aaaw, see, that's sweet!
... Will you reward us? I want a lollipop.
Greibel: I want a fudge pop!
Old lady: Of course!
Just moe that cat.
Radek: Gravy, after that moron!
Greibel: (To Amadi) Well, I think we know what we have to do.
Ganelon: Okay, let's do a bluff.
I'm not skilled at those but maybe I'll get lucky.
Amadi giggles, and promptly falls out of the tree, aiming for the cat.
Frezak (GM): GRAVY TACKLE
I charge him.
Apheori (GM): Roll to use yourself to move the cat.
Roll to grab the fleeing guard.
Frezak (GM): I'm not grabbing;
I'm just knocking him down.
rolling 1D20+12
(
13
)
+12
=
25
Vs Guard AC
Radek:
rolling 1d20+2 Bluff
(
8
)
+2
=
10
Yes, I am the "forensics guy".
Ganelon: I think Radek's only skill at bluffing is the use of sarcasm.
Amadi:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Ellemerr: (Dunno what to put on that.)
(I do have 9 acrobatics.)
Apheori (GM): Okay, Gravy knocks the fleeing guard down, Amadi flops next to the cat knocking it slightly to the side, the guards inside seem to buy Radek's claim or at least don't argue, and one starts to say something else, and then there is a horrible explosion as the old lady is freed from the tree.
It rocks the whole town, the sky goes dark, and you hear a horrible laughter fading into the distance.
Then the old lady is gone.
Greibel: I knew it!
The Gravedigger: Is that normal?
Greibel: I knew something bad would happen!
Frezak (GM): To the guard under him.
Apheori (GM): The cat says something about how the world is doomed, and wonders where it might find some fish.
The guard struggles but doesn't actually answer.
The sky fades back to normal after a little bit.
The guard leader guy asks what the hell that was.
The guard with you guys, whose name is George, sighs.
The Gravedigger: You promise to not run again if I get up?
Amadi: HEY! WHAT ABOUT MY LOLLIPOP!
Amadi looks angry in a scary way.
Greibel shakes a fist at the sky
Greibel: You'll pay for not delivering that lollipop!
The Gravedigger 's ears twitch. IS THERE JUSTICE TO BE DISPENSED?
Gaurav: yay George!
Apheori (GM): The guard Gravy is on freaks out and tries to get away again.
Kitty: She lied, what.
Ganelon: Can I uh...
Try to understand this phenomenon?
Is it magical?
Amadi: I! DEMAND! MY LOLLIPOP!
Frezak (GM): I remain where I am, then.
The Gravedigger: If you wriggle someone is going to decide it's less effort to shoot you.
Amadi tries accessing whatever scary powers she has to get her lollipop from the "old lady".
Apheori (GM): Gan: There was a flash of magic, yes.
(From Amadi): Just to be clear, I don't know the old lady, do I?
(To Amadi): She doesn't seem to be anyone in particular, no. Just some random hag who's gone off the deep end and wants to destroy the world.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: D20.
Amadi:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Apheori (GM): Gravy: He stops trying to struggle.
Amadi: Nothing really happens. You get a sense of where she is, though. You could go there, if you could just... go there.
Maybe you could take Greibel.
Amadi gives Greibel a calculating look.
The Gravedigger: Raaaadeeeek!
What do I do with this guy?
Greibel gives Amadi a look that doesn't know what's happening
Apheori (GM): The guard leader guy and his other guard go back outside.
Amadi grabs Greibel's hand, and with eyes craving revenge, sets after the old lady.
Radek: Where do you detain people in this town?
Amadi: (revenge - and, mostly, lollipops. Someone should've told her she has one in her pocket.)
Radek: I assume you have nothing as sophisticated as a chair with restraints.
Greibel tags along dutifully
Apheori (GM): George says they probably have some cells in the basement and points to some stairs.
Greibel and Amadi: Suddenly you are somewhere else.
Amadi looks around for the old lady.
Apheori (GM): You don't find the old lady. You do, however, find Dave.
Greibel: Hi Dave!
Frezak (GM): Crud!
Run!
Apheori (GM): You're at the top of a tall tower, at the apex massive evil fortress. Monstrous guard beasts patrol far below.
Dave says hi and asks where the target went.
Amadi: Dawn! I'm here on Lokshmi business! Have you seen someone who owes me a lollipop?
Ganelon: Well then.
Frezak (GM): HAH
That's pretty serious business.
Apheori (GM): Dawn looks confused and shakes her head, and then you realise there's another fragment behind her. Except this one is just staring over the edge of the tower in amazement, and not really saying anything.
Ellemerr: Another FRAGMENT fragment?
Do I recognize her?
Apheori (GM): Aye. This one is a really short attention span, and generally responds to 'squirrel'.
Ellemerr: Oh dear.
Amadi: Squirrel!
(From Amadi): Why can I control George? xD Should I be doing anything with that?
(To Ellemerr): Oh, oops.
Ganelon: Shorter than these two?
Ellemerr: Hey, I've managed to follow Greibel ALL THIS TIME.
(To Ellemerr): do you want Squirrel?
Ellemerr: I think I'm pretty good.
(From Ellemerr): That is really up to you. I probably could. :P
(From Ellemerr): At least if it's only temporary.
(To Ellemerr): Eh, she'll be available. Even if we both do her at the same time it should be fine.
Squirrel turns around.
Squirrel: Squirrel!
Ganelon: Greibel is a source of limitless entertainment.
You can't get bored hanging around him.
Ellemerr: True. :3
Frezak (GM): Because of the Drug Haze.
Amadi: Lollipop?
Ganelon: Unless he's taking some depressants, I suppose. But then, he'd probably offer you.
Offer some to you, rather.
Frezak (GM): "He'd offer you to the Drug Gods"
Bear Soup Guy: The Drug Gods are super chill, man
And they have an infinite bag of Doritos
Frezak (GM): That's pretty sweet.
Should go dethrone them and take it.
Bear Soup Guy: That would be easy to do seeing as they're stoned all the time and don't really care much about worldly possessions
Squirrel: Lollipop!
Bear Soup Guy: But the infinite bag is infinitely heavy!
Frezak (GM): That's a terrible bag!
Bear Soup Guy: Actually I guess that makes it a black hole
Dave: She's.. here. Somewhere.
Amadi: Great! You're hired! Lokshmi bless us all! STAY OUT OF MY HEAD, THOUGH!
(The latter shouted at nobody in particular.)
Squirrel: Head.
Amadi: She is. We'll find her. And then... then!
Amadi rubs her hands and cackles.
Dave: Yes.
Greibel: Your hair is lovely, Squirrel
Squirrel beams and bounces happily.
Frezak (GM): "I'm sure it tastes delicious"
Greibel: (quietly) mmmm.....spaghetti.....
Amadi goes in pursuit of her VENGEANCE! Somehow.
Apheori (GM): Amadi takes Greibel and suddenly you're somewhere else.
Ŕoll a d20.
Bear Soup Guy: Who rolls?
Apheori (GM): Amadi, sorry.
Bear Soup Guy: s'alright
Amadi:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Ellemerr: >.>
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20.
Frezak, Gan: You waiting for these guys to sort their thing out before continuing?
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): Amadi and Greibel: You find yourselves in a bedroom. It's a rather fancy bedroom with a messy bed in the middle. There's some strange black stuff on the walls, though.
A moment later Dawn and Squirrel appear and Dawn seems to be trying to restrain Squirrel.
Squirrel is trying to braid Dave's hair.
Dave pushes Squirrel onto the bed.
Dave: Not here. Further in. In her place of power...
Squirrel sprawls on the bed and then burrows into the covers.
Amadi: Well, YOU get us there, if you know it so well!
Bear Soup Guy: You guys must be quite the character when you're not fragmented...
Amadi seems frustrated. And still very angry.
Ellemerr: Oh, quite.
Ganelon: Frezak, Gan: You waiting for these guys to sort their thing out before continuing?
Yeah, basically.
Other things are also distracting me.
For which I apologize.
Squirrel: They should be done soon.
Ellemerr: I... should stop soon, though. For which I'm very sorry. But when I do, you can go on with the other group! (Sorry BSG.)
Squirrel: Wheeeeeheheheheeee.
Bear Soup Guy: No worries!
Squirrel draws squiggly things on the ceiling by pointing at it and causing burn marks to appear.
Dave grabs Greibel and Amadi and takes them all somewhere else.
Amadi: All done! Impaled! Burnt so sweet, so sweet!
Dave:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Amadi attempts grabbing Squirrel in the last second.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Amadi, and Dave are now in a throne room of sorts. You are surrounded by guard things everywhere. They all point weapons at you.
In front of you, on the throne, is the old lady, looking very prim and proper and a bit upset at the fuss.
(You missed grabbing squirrel.)
Greibel eyes the guards and begins conjuring smalls vines in his hands should a conflict erupt
Apheori (GM): Have we lost Ellemerr?\
Ellemerr: Not quite yet.
I'm juggling. Not geese, this time.
Apheori (GM): What does Amadi do?
Amadi sets her incredibly angry eyes in the old lady, trying to look as much like Dave as possible. (Yes, Dave, not Dawn. Though this probably does include Dawn, too.)
Amadi: You! How DARE you! You USED me! ME!
Old lady laughs.
Old lady: Why not? You think you can defy me?
Squirrel suddenly appears and starts bouncing through the guards, cackling shrilly and doing random things to them and blowing them up and taking her own arm off and beating a bunch of them up with it.
Gaurav: Ooo-kay
Amadi: Well, I know one of us is going to end up with a lollipop and - hah! BEHOLD!
The wrath of Lokshmi is upon you!
Squirrel: LOOOOKSHMIIIIII!
Amadi: ... Or my wrath. Or HERS. It doesn't really matter that much.
Squirrel: LOOOKY LOOKY SHMEEEE.
Greibel stops conjuring vines to watch curiously
Dawn walks up to the old lady. Some guards try to stop her and they fall over dead.
Dawn: You. You have whatever the worded against us. You will whatever the word is.
Um.
Dawn looks back at Amadi, then focuses a horrible glare at the woman.
Dawn: Yes.
Amadi: LOLLIPOP!
Dawn: Lollipop.
Greibel: And a fudgsicle if it's not too much trouble!
Old lady starts to look a bit concerned and then starts to do some magic and suddenly falls asleep instead.
Apheori (GM): All the weird guard things collapse.
Amadi grins maliciously.
Amadi: Sweet... nightmares.
Dawn: Yeah, um, that's what we meant to do.
Amadi starts rummaging through the lady's pockets for sweets.
Dawn gestures vaguely, looks really confused, and then picks up Squirrel and hands her to Greibel.
Ganelon: Remind me to never inconvenience this one when I become a villainous mastermind.
Greibel: Oh, hello.
Squirrel makes airplane noises.
Ellemerr: Well, she's pretty easy to pacify if you have lollipops.
Gaurav: o.0
Dawn gives Amadi a lollipop, and Greibel a fudgsicle, and then looks curiously around.
Dawn: How'd we wind up here?
Amadi jumps up and down and hugs Dawn and says "thank you!" and everything.
Greibel unwraps the fudgsicle excitedly
Greibel: Teleportation!
Magic!
Dawn: It's just that... I was somewhere else.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Amadi: Can you getback to the others now?
Amadi: Oh, so were we.
How did the kidnapping go?
Dawn: He exploded.
Greibel: Hah!
Amadi: Had it coming.
Dawn: I ate a bear.
Bear Soup Guy: Apheori: Can we? You're the DM :P
Amadi: Was it good?
Greibel: Did you cook it?
In a soup, perhaps?
Amadi: Mmmm, bear soup.
Apheori (GM): Well, yes, but you know. Party.
Dawn: How did you know?
Squirrel curls around Greibel's feet and starts sinking into the floor.
Greibel: I feel like I have experience with bear soup. Hmmm. Odd, that. Maybe a past life leaking through this messed up time and space.
Amadi shrugs.
Greibel: Oop!
Greibel looks down
Amadi: Stranger things happen. Pretty much daily.
Greibel: Your friend is cute.
Amadi: I know! That hair. I'm almost jealous.
Amadi licks her lollipop happily.
Amadi: Well - should we go back? See how badly the others have messed up?
I mean, without us around to keep things sorted...
Amadi grins. Her tongue is coloured candy blue.
Ellemerr: And that's sort of it from me.
Greibel: That's a good idea.
Ellemerr: But please find out what the others have done meanwhile, and feel free to go on further, too.
Bear Soup Guy: Take care, Merr! It was lovely causing mischief with you today.
Squirrel bounces up and embraces Amadi and they suddenly both disappear.
Apheori (GM): Okay, back to Dorgin.
Radek, Gravy: You have a quiet, no longer struggling apparently infected guy, the cells are downstairs, and stuff.
What do you do?
Frezak (GM): I suppose I'm taking my guy to the cells?
Ganelon: Yeah, gotta lock this guy up before he becomes a zombie.
Apheori (GM): You lock him in a cell. There's nobody else down here.
Frezak (GM): Awright.
I'll check that Rhu is alive.
Apheori (GM): He pleads with you that he's not infected.
The guy in the cell, I mean.
Frezak (GM): And then go bury these corpses.
Radek: Well then, you won't have much to worry about when you fail to show advancing symptoms over the next few days, will you?
You know, it's selfish behavior which leads us to this sort of pandemic.
Guard: But... you...
You can't lock me in here!
Apheori (GM): Rhu: WAKE UP ALREADY.
Radek laughs.
Radek: Well, I have to disagree with you there.
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
17
)
=
17
Frezak (GM): Radek is such a terrible person.
THumbs up, gan!
Apheori (GM): Rhu wakes up and starts screaming.
Rhu: He's the best for speeches, though.
Gaurav: err ooc
Rhu starts screaming.
Frezak (GM): No, Rhu is talking in his sleep
Oh.
He could do that too.
Gaurav: Why am I screaming?
Frezak (GM): Must be bad if even you don't know.
Apheori (GM): Gravy's got all the bodies outside. The guard and the leader guard are under the tree arguing again.
You have a bug in your nose.
Roll to get the bug out of your nose
.
Gaurav continues screaming
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
14
)
=
14
Er ic
Apheori (GM): Rhu gets the bug out of his nose and realises he can't see.
Rhu abrupts stops screaming
Rhu: ... huh.
Rhu blinks furiously
Apheori (GM): The guard with the leader guard takes a bite out of the leader guard.
Frezak (GM): I charge.
Rhu:
rolling d20+12 heal check to figure out what's wrong ... I suppose I start with the basics (can I hear? Is there something in front of my eyes?) and see how far my knowledge of medicine gets me.
(
14
)
+12
=
26
Apheori (GM): At whom?
Frezak (GM): The biter.
Apheori (GM): Or what?
Okay.
What do you do with him?
Rhu: HULLO? Is someone here? I hear chewing!
Frezak (GM): I just bodyslam him gravystyle.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You seem to be blind. You hear a Gravy charge.
Frezak (GM): In order to deter future biting.
Of course every time he charges he shouts.
Gaurav: No biting! Bad guard!
The Gravedigger: GRAAAAAAAAAVES
Apheori (GM): The leader guard screams and is sent flying. The biter seems to be turning into a zombie.
Rhu rolls out of the way at the shout
Frezak (GM): I begin to beat the shit out of the biter.
Rhu feels around for anything: a tree, a post, a wall
Apheori (GM): The biter bites at you.
Ganelon: Would Radek hear this commotion?
Because he has to fix every bloody problem and this is clearly the start of a new one.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You're by a wall. It feels rough but painted. There's a breeze and you feel warmth, probably sunlight.
Gaurav: I don't suppose Rhu's maul was left anywhere near him?
Rhu stands up and leans against the wall, listening to see if he can figure out what the consequences of the Gravycharge was
Apheori (GM): Unless Radek stayed with the guy in the cell, you and George probably came up too.
Rhu: You hear biting and punches.
Frezak (GM): Punches?
He should hear
Rhu stays very, very quiet
Frezak (GM): "rawr"
"Blonnnng"
Apheori (GM): Shovel punches.
Frezak (GM): Also a lot of grave-related shouting.
Bear Soup Guy: "Shovel punch" should really be an official D&D move
Gaurav: That's reassuring, as it suggests that Gravy is winning. But Rhu is stay quiet in case there's other baddies around.
Apheori (GM):
rolling 1d20 + 2 vs gravy reflex
(
20
)
+2
=
22
Does it get you?
Frezak (GM): Yes.
Apheori (GM): Buggrit.
Frezak (GM): It'd get anyone.
Apheori (GM): Okay, the turning guard zombie takes a bite out of you, though you shovel it to death.
Gaurav: That is a damn fine roll.
Apheori (GM): It does a whopping 4 damage.
And hurts like something took a bite out of you.
Frezak (GM): Amazing.
Apheori (GM): I know, right?
Frezak (GM): I only have 59 HP left!
WHAT WILL I DO?
Apheori (GM): Panic.
I dunno.
Leader guard guy is backing away trying to cover a massively bleeding neck.
Radek, where are you?
Frezak (GM): You know what.
We should just leave;
Take smart guard with us.
And go request an Exterminatus.
Apheori (GM): What's that?
Frezak (GM): W40K reference.
Orbital planet-razing.
Apheori (GM): Ah.
Amadi might have something stored away for that.
Frezak (GM): Otherwise, might as well just leave.
Unless we want to take on a zombie epidemic.
Gaurav: ^
Radek approaches the NEW crime scene, grumbling and cursing the whole way over.
Rhu: Radek?
Radek: Every bloody time I get something done...
The Gravedigger: Also I have a hole.
I hope my shots will deal with it.
George suddenly shoots the leader guard.
Radek: Good job, George.
George: I think it's just about wrapped up.
Ganelon: I could make a great dictator.
The Gravedigger: How do you know that other people aren't infected?
George: They actually did get the civilians to stay inside, so... yeah! Maybe they can get som real guards here now! Wouldn't cound on it, though.
The Gravedigger: Real guards?
They were a militia or something?
Rhu: Guys?
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Would you like to do anything while you're in that place, or should Dave try to transport you back to the others?
George: No, they just sucked.
Frezak (GM): Didn't Rhu hear the fighting outside?
Ganelon: I'd like to check Gravy.
Gaurav: Rhu is outside. He's standing against the wall. I assume he's close enough to listen to you, although maybe he's on another side of the building or something.
Ganelon: For signs of imminent zombification.
Frezak (GM): Oh, right, sorry.
The Gravedigger: Hey, Rhu!
Zombies!
Apheori (GM): Heal on Gravy?
Gaurav: Er. Yes. Well. See. The thing is. I've gone blind.
Rhu: Er. Yes. Well. See. The thing is. I've gone blind.
The Gravedigger: Oh.
Is this some god thing?
Rhu waves vaguely at his face
The Gravedigger: Dead End Eyeballs?
Apheori (GM): "We don't need you anymore. *SHOVEL*"
Rhu: What?! No! Why would Hazz'ridan All-Merciful take away my eyesight?
Ganelon: Heal on Gravy.
rolling 1d20+9
(
7
)
+9
=
16
The Gravedigger: Fucked if I know.
Bear Soup Guy: Apheori: Your call. I need to bandage a cat leg soon soon so I might go MIA for a bit.
Apheori (GM): Radek: Gravy seems fine.
Rhu: It must be ... what happened back at the farmhouse
And where are we now?
Radek: You're fine.
Ganelon: Heal on Rhu.
Frezak (GM): I have great Endurance.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+9
(
10
)
+9
=
19
Bear Soup Guy: "He wants you to walk into dead ends"
Frezak (GM): HAH
Gaurav: BSG: XD
BSG: Why bandage a cat leg?
Apheori (GM): Rhu doesn't seem to have anything actually wrong with him. The eyes do what eyes do. Just don't see.
Bear Soup Guy: My cat has a bleeding tumor thing :(
Apheori (GM): Eek.
Gaurav: oh no :( sorry to hear that
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah.
Apheori (GM): Well, until then...
Bear Soup Guy: He doesn't seem to care about it, but it does make a mess so we bandage it up.
Radek: You're /also/ fine, on the outside.
Probably brain damage.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL: YOU ARE A FUNDAMENTAL ASS SATELLITE OF SPACE.
Bear Soup Guy: XD XD XD XD XD
Apheori (GM): Also you come flying out of the sky at an impossible speed and impact he ground in front of Radek.
Rhu doesn't respond. Only after a good 15 minutes of silence does he realise that Radek might have been talking to him.
Apheori (GM): You're fine. You can get up in whatever fashion you like.
Rhu: 15 seconds*
Apheori (GM): But you are on fire.
Frezak (GM): brb
Greibel crashes
Rhu: Oh! Well. I hope it isn't ---
Rhu falls over with the impact of a landing Greibel
Greibel lifts his head up
Radek jumps back, clutching his beard protectively.
Greibel: Well....
I'm here now, bitches!
Greibel coughs out some dirt
Radek: You lunatics are /inescapable/.
Rhu: Is that Greibel?
Apheori (GM): Poor Radek.
Greibel: It sure is, buddy!
Don
't worry, Dave's fine. I saw her on a tower and she kicked some ass.
Rhu: Oh. Nice.
I'm blind now.
I think it's temporary?
Um.
Radek: Not for the faithful, it isn't.
Ganelon: Yes, that was a RELIGION BURN.
Rhu ignores that
Bear Soup Guy: Roll for sick burn
Gaurav laughs
Apheori (GM): I don't get it.
Gaurav: Well, so, we're all here
And Rhu is blind, but that shouldn't stop us
What next?
Rhu:
rolling d20+9 religion check to ask Hazz' to help with this blindness thing
(
14
)
+9
=
23
Ganelon: He's saying that people with faith are always blind (to, presumably, the truth of objective reality).
Bear Soup Guy: This would be a good time for me to go AFK, if that's alright
I should only be about ten or fifteen minutes
Actually probably less.
Apheori (GM): Aiight.
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, see you guys in a bit!
Apheori (GM): Radek is way sarter than I am.
m
Rhu: BSG: ciao! Hope you're cat's tumor is better!
Gaurav: er ooc
When last we had a plan, we wanted to go find a Hole and experiment on it with our Hole-in-a-box
or something
Ganelon: No, we totally fixed the hole-in-a-box.
And I lost my poor pocket dimension.
Gaurav: We lost it?! How?
Ganelon: I don't properly remember.
Apheori (GM): Not that you guys should do anything specfic no, but you guys should check out George's theories too.
Ganelon: On what, this infection?
Apheori (GM): Mhm.
Gaurav: There is an airship port thing in the town. We could try to get a ride back to civilisation.
Apheori (GM): I think I need a nap. I'm falling asleep.
Sorry.
Ganelon: That's fine.
I won't likely forget George. He seems like a younger Radek in an age of less technological advancement.
He certainly seems to have the bitterness down, which is very important.
Gaurav: With 1.5 Radeks in our team, we can't lose!
Ganelon: No, but he still can.
For being trapped in the company of inescapable buffoons.
Your capacity for tomfoolery is staggering.
Gaurav: Hey, we're not all inescapable buffoons! Some of us are mad gods too.
Ganelon: That's an inclusive property.
Some of you are both inescapable buffoons AND mad gods.
Gaurav: Hmm. True.
Frezak (GM): I'm pretty escapable.
Ganelon: The guards would testify otherwise.
Frezak (GM): They didn't try hard enough!
Ganelon: Be honest.
Frezak (GM): My charge is only +12 vs AC.
+14 if I'm in Ram Form.
Ganelon: If Radek ran away and left you with the buffoons, how long would it take before you dug your way to him through the stuff of spacetime itself?
Frezak (GM): Also +2 speed in Ram form.
"remember the fun times we had"
"when we ran through walls"
Bear Soup Guy: Hi guys, I'm back!
Frezak (GM): SO YOU SAY
Bear Soup Guy: O_O
Apheori (GM): I'm awake.
No I'm not, butdo stuff.
Frezak (GM): Gravy is actually cool with setting up somewhere backwater and going back to digging.
Radek is the one that'll /want/ to go home.
Or at least somewhere sciencey.
Ganelon: He has a universe to fix.
Frezak (GM): Does he?
Why is it up to /him/ ?
Ganelon: Because everyone else is too bloody stupid, insane, or irresponsible to bother.
Frezak (GM): THANKS.
I'll just go and dig holes and stop bothering you!
GO try and help Codrichun with his problem.
Ganelon: You can't fill these holes with dirt!
Frezak (GM): WELL THEN
Ganelon: And you never explained how you fixed that one you actually did close!
Frezak (GM): YOU CLEARLY DONT NEED ME THEN
AT great cost, that's how.
Also the godshards told me to not do it again.
Ganelon: Well.
Radek does appreciate Gravy's help, he just doesn't think Gravy is capable of solving the problem on his own.
Frezak (GM): Gods no.
Ganelon: But of course, he DOES think that HE is capable of solving it, because he's a genius.
Frezak (GM): How?
TELL US HOW TO SOLVE THIS
Ganelon: He's still got to figure it out.
Frezak (GM): Good job Mr.Genius!
Ganelon: He has partial answers that need testing and theorizing and all that sciencey nonsense nobody actually wants to see happen in real-time.
Frezak (GM): Well if we don't it real-time then it's not going to happen.
So sit down and do science!
Greibel can try aromatherapy to cure Rhu.
And by aromaptherapy I mean drugs.
Ganelon: He will gladly do that.
Apheori (GM): There's an inn.
George is headed there.
Gaurav: I reluctantly acquiesce to this course of treatment.
Frezak (GM): He's ditching us?
Bastard!
Ganelon: You were just about to do the same thing!
Gaurav: You can't trust mini-Radeks. Only the real one.
Frezak (GM): Well yeah but only because I was leaving first and got interrupted by zombieings.
Gaurav: Radek needs a doing-science montage.
Apheori (GM): You guys were talking amongst yourselves. As far as he's concerned the situation is basically done.
Frezak (GM): Speaking of which, I get with the burying.
Just hope I don't find someone sleeping on the ground.
Apheori (GM): You find Dave sleeping on the ground.
Just kidding.
Frezak (GM): Well I'm not touching /that/
So Gravy goes and does what Gravy does best.
Ganelon: Science montage?
Frezak (GM): Drug montage?
Apheori (GM): What, out here?
Ganelon: Radek surrounded in papers, complaining about the fact that he has to use papers?
Nah, he'll get a room.
Even if he has to walk into someone's house and just demand they give him space to work.
Apheori (GM): The guardhouse is empty.
Gaurav: 0_0
Ganelon: Perfect.
Gaurav: Aw.
I was hoping to watch Radek kick someone out of their house.
Well, listen intently to.
Ganelon: "Sleep in the guardhouse! It's empty!"
Frezak (GM): I also loot the people I bury.
If they have anything interesting.
Ganelon: "But why aren't you-"
"SHUT UP WHILE I'M WORKING"
Rhu finds a room and spends him time in meditation, prayer and whinging about being blind.
Frezak (GM): You still have your divine magics, right?
Apheori (GM): You find some random bits of string, guns, a pretty necklace, wallets.
Frezak (GM): I assume radek has a gun fire and has no interest in 'em.
Unless.... are they magical?
Or science?
*has a seen a gun fire
Apheori (GM): They shoot energy. They're a bit magical.
Frezak (GM): I'll stack their armour and weapons and take 'em to the guardhouse later.
Ganelon: Keep 'em.
If it's magic.
It will be dussssssst.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You realise this is Hazz' doing. It's either a gift or perhaps a price.
Frezak (GM): Also the wallets.
Apheori (GM): For... something.
YAY WALLETS/
.
You find 302 gold.
Frezak (GM): Dow e have any need for that?
Rhu: (says out loud) A ... gift?
Hmm.
Frezak (GM): Does anyone HAVE money?
Apheori (GM): Money is important.
Gaurav: I have a gift. It is that I can't see anything any more.
Greibel silently sits on the floor and watches Rhu's meditation
Frezak (GM): Greibel sees a completely different meditation montage.
Apheori (GM): You can't see the others' faces anymore.
Frezak (GM): With fishes.
Apheori (GM): Important gift.
Ganelon: I have something that might be money.
Frezak (GM): Well that's just rude.
Ganelon: But not local currency.
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Rhu: d20s.
Gaurav:
rolling d20
(
1
)
=
1
Frezak (GM): I suppose I'll take the gold
YAAAAY
Gaurav: oooooooo
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Apheori (GM): Hmm.
Rhu: You find yourself in the darkness surrounded by tentacles everywhere.
Greibel: You follow him.
Gaurav blinks, then blinks again. There are tentacles everywhere.
Rhu blinks, then blinks again. There are tentacles everywhere.
Rhu: ... well, I can see again. That's nice.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You can't see the tentacles. But you feel like you can. Closing or opening your eyes doesn't change anything. Though you may not notice.
Greibel: You can see them. They're really colourful.
Also seem to be covering something up.
Greibel: Hmmm
rolling 1d20+13 nature to try to learn about the tentacles
(
11
)
+13
=
24
Rhu closes his eyes and realises that he can still see them.
Rhu closes and opens his eyes a couple of times.
Rhu: Huh.
Apheori (GM): Should Radek walk in on them for any reason they'll both just look passed out.
Gaurav: Are you nature-checking my God?
Frezak (GM): That's really rude, man.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: The tentacles appear to be smokable.
Also they're not, strictly speaking, really there. But then neither are you.
It's all basically a projection.
Gaurav: Please don't smoke my God.
On the other hand, if you smoke him, you might *become* him, and that'd be interesting.
Apheori (GM): Oh, so it's only fine when it's someone else's god?
Frezak (GM): "Is THIS your God?"
Gaurav: It's less awkward?
Ganelon: It's definitely less awkward.
Bear Soup Guy: Greibel didn't know it was Hazz D:
Ganelon: As for Radek, if he walked in on them, he'd just call them a bunch of deadbeat slackers and carry on with his business.
Apheori (GM): Greibel still doesn't know it's Hazz, unless Rhu tells him.
Gaurav: Can Rhu see Griebel?
Apheori (GM):
Gaurav: I thought he was just sensing the tentacles.
Apheori (GM): Rhu can see him if he Looks.
Gaurav: Naah, he's happy with the tentacles.
Oh, wait, Greibel said "hmm" earlier.
Rhu: Greibel? Is that you?
Apheori (GM): I want to see Greibel smoke tentacles.
I mean...
Rhu: I feel ... tentacles. I think we're in the realm of Hazz'ridan again.
Apheori (GM): Nevermind.
Rhu: It's somewhere near the City of the Dead.
This is where I found the sphinx.
Rhu goes quiet.
Greibel: Oh....well then, my first question would be "How do we get out? Right now. Please. Oh God, please."
Hazz'ridan: Welcome.
Rhu: My Lord. *bows*
Greibel: Howdy
Greibel waves
Hazz'ridan waves a tentacle.
Rhu follows where the tentacle is waving and looks for Greibel
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Rhu tries to run into you.
Greibel steps out of the way but tries to grab him by the scruff of his shirt before he runs off into nothing
Hazz'ridan: What brings you to My domain?
Rhu: My Lord, I ... I am blind.
Bear Soup Guy: "A roll of 1"
Frezak (GM): "terrible RNG, lord."
Hazz'ridan: Yes.
Gaurav: Heeee
Rhu: I feel that this comes from you somehow. A gift. A price.
Hazz'ridan: Yes.
Rhu: What gift, my lord? What price?
Frezak (GM): "Was it the milk?"
Hazz'ridan: It is the world. I am your gift. Your price to see.
Rhu bows before him, hiding his confusion as best he can.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: A tentacle tries to get into your ear.
Greibel swats it away
Greibel: Listen, you seem like a nice dude, but I'm not gonna have any brain parasites messing me up, thank you very much.
Rhu: Brain parasites?
Greibel: He was touching my ear, Rhu.
That's just rude. Even for a God.
Frezak (GM): Totes.
Punish him!
RELEASE THE EAGLE
Rhu: Ah. Er. Well. Hm.
Greibel looks in the direction of Hazz's voice as he says the last line
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You hear laughter fading away.
And not like Amadi laughter, either.
Gaurav: He's got a real sense of humour, that one.
Oh?
Greibel looks around suspiciously
Greibel: I painted a place kind of like this once.
Admittedly it wasn't a very good painting.
And I didn't use real paint.
It was during my avant-garde phase.
Rhu: When was that?
Greibel shrugs
Greibel remembers Rhu can't see
Greibel: Oh, I just shrugged. The was a shrugging silence.
Bear Soup Guy: that*
Frezak (GM): "I shru" GODS DAMN YOU BSG
Rhu: Oh! Right.
Gaurav: Do the tentacles still surround us? Is there ... any way out?
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Apheori (GM): Tentacles wrap around you.
Huge, massive, and to Greibel, very, very colourful tentacles.
Frezak (GM): Joy piled upon joy.
Apheori (GM): They squeeze.
Rhu: ... Lord?
Apheori (GM): You are crushed by tentacles! And then you're back in the room meditating.
Rhu gasps for breath
Apheori (GM) throws some joy at Frezak.
Rhu: They're gone ...
Greibel: Humph
Worst astral projection ever.
Rhu: Hey!
I could see.
Well, I could see His tentacles.
I couldn't see you.
I could see ... Him.
Still blind, though.
Rhu: How can this be a gift?
Greibel: It's a mad God's idea of a gift
He probably forgot the meaning of the word
Rhu: Huh.
Maybe.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+11 (Heal) Greibel goes to inspect Rhu's eyes to see if there are physical signs of what's going on
(
18
)
+11
=
29
Frezak (GM): They're filled with woooorms
Bear Soup Guy: AH GOD WORM EYES
Apheori (GM): Tentacles?
Gaurav: Those are tentacles! Idiots.
Apheori (GM): HIS EYES ARE FULL OF TENTACLES?!
Frezak (GM): I'm not a cultist!
Ganelon: I already checked, but maybe you'll see something different.
Frezak (GM): I don't know the lingo!
Apheori (GM): Naw, they look normal.
Bear Soup Guy: Aw, damn
Apheori (GM): But Greibel's heal check goes further than mere looks.
Frezak (GM): "normal" because they're usually filled with wrigglies
Bear Soup Guy: Yay heal check!
Apheori (GM): And he discovers...
...um...
He discovers...
Frezak (GM): GOLD
AND MAGIC DUST
Gaurav: YES!
Frezak (GM): AND SHOVELS
Bear Soup Guy: "A coin! Behind your ear!"
Apheori (GM): What's english for vinculo?
Frezak (GM): "An eye! Behind your ear- ewwww"
NO IDEA.
Gaurav: I was wondering why I was looking over my own shoulder.
Frezak (GM): Mystery solved!
Bear Soup Guy: ZING
Frezak (GM): "I'd have gotten away for it if wasn't for that drug-dusted druid who was also a dog at times"
*away with it
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): Greibel: He can't see not because of anything wrong with him physially - it's an issue with his soul. Somehow he's tied to Hazz now, and he can
t see, and all that he can see is HAzz as a result.
Gaurav: DO NOTHING ABOUT IT
Hazz' can only see Hazz'? What a self-centred guy.
Apheori (GM): Hazz can see everything.
Gaurav: But I, tied to Hazz', can't?
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Ganelon: That almost sounds inconvenient.
But Hazz would never inconvenience someone.
That's ridiculous.
Gaurav: Amen.
Eh, anyway.
Rhu is blind and belongs to Hazz'. Whatevs.
How goes the sciencing?
Ganelon: Good question.
Miss DM?
Apheori (GM): What allwere you doing?
Frezak (GM): Doing the Gravy Thing.
And then returning with the guard's gear in case Radek can do anything with any of it.
Apheori (GM): I mean the sciencing.
Ganelon: Still working on the Hole Solution.
Apheori (GM): IsGravy helping with te science now?
Ganelon: I think he's keeping the infection controlled.
Frezak (GM): I don't think I can really contribute to science.
Ganelon: He's trying to figure out what's missing from the formula that fixes holes.
Apheori (GM): Anyone can contribute. Anyone.
Frezak (GM): (it's probably shovels)
Apheori (GM): I'll take three arcana rolls and a sanity check.
Are you using any particular artifacts or computing devices?
Ganelon: I have a computer.
I don't think the shield thing would help much.
Possibly the stuff of TIME and NONEXISTENCE might.
Apheori (GM): Gimme the rolls, then.
Gaurav: We should pour it over random things and see what happens.
Ganelon: Oh, and I did take samples of water that was touching the first hole.
Apheori (GM): Before I fall asleep.
Ganelon: But maybe it's just water now.
rolling 1d20+12
(
16
)
+12
=
28
rolling 1d20+12
(
11
)
+12
=
23
rolling 1d20+12
(
11
)
+12
=
23
rolling 1d20 CRAZY
(
10
)
=
10
Hm. Not bad.
Frezak (GM): decent.
Apheori (GM): You make progress. Some sort of idea that needs proper investigation. You need three pieces to make a lock?
That doesn't make sense.
Gaurav: Doesn't it?
We have three crazy characters. And we used to have a skull.
Did we ever try opening a door with Dave?
Apheori (GM): What happened to the skull?
Frezak (GM): At some point of the evening i'll walk in with a pile of guardstuffs.
And ask Radek if he can use any of it.
Gaurav: Rhu still has the skull, but he thinks it's the non-magical one from Midnight, but it might have turned back into a magic skull when we left there.
Radek: You brought their guns?
The Gravedigger: Yup.
Radek: Good, set them down over... there.
Any of that other junk seem magical to you?
Frezak (GM): I don't think I have much a magic detection ability.
Unless the guardzombie I beat up seemed to have armour that was more resilient than I expected.
Apheori (GM): nOPE.
The Gravedigger: Uh.
No?
Apheori (GM): All fairlynorml.
Radek: You'd feel it. Do whatever you like with it. Make a fort for the two deadbeats, maybe.
Frezak (GM): I'll just leave 'em in the guardhouse.
Ganelon: He'll take a break to turn the magical components of them guns into DUST.
Frezak (GM): I'll go check up on the other deadbeats.
The Gravedigger: Hello, fellow deadbeats.
Rhu: Hey!
Greibel: Howdy
Apheori (GM):
rolling 8d100
(
39
+
57
+
15
+
57
+
14
+
44
+
35
+
78
)
=
339
You getthat much dust.
Ganelon: Awesome.
The Gravedigger: Anything fun happen?
The Gravedigger flexes gleaming muscles.
Ganelon: ...
Is he trying to insinuate something?
Greibel: We went to tentacle world for a bit
Rhu nods
Frezak (GM): Just that he's been busy doing things.
The Gravedigger: Huh.
Hazz give you eyeballs, Rhu?
The Gravedigger waves a hand in front of Rhu.
Rhu: No. He said it was a gift.
It doesn't make sense. What sort of gift is blindness?
The Gravedigger: Damn.
THink Radek can rig you up with an artifical eye?
Rhu: Hey. Hey!
That is an idea.
Greibel: An idea that probably won't work, unfortunately.
There's nothing wrong with his vision. The problem is likely right in the visual cortex.
His mind is linked with Hazz for as long as the sociopath decides it's useful to him.
Apheori (GM): XD
Greibel: No offense, Rhu
Rhu sighs
The Gravedigger: Then maybe we should go kick a god in the voolnerables?
Rhu: I'm sure there's ... a reason for this. I just wish I knew what it was.
Amadi falls slowly out of the sky, like a dandelion seed.
Rhu: In my present state, I wouldn't even be able to see where his voolnerables were.
The Gravedigger: Your god's a dick?
No offense;
Well I could find them and hold you in front of them?
Amadi: I concur.
Greibel nods knowingly at Amadi
Amadi bounces off the ground and starts rising again.
The Gravedigger: Hey sandwich kid.
Rhu grins
Ganelon: "HEY RADEK WE NEED YOU TO MAKE AN EYE"
"DID YOU FUCKING BREAK MY EYEBOT AGAIN!?"
Rhu: He might not have any. He's all tentacles.
Frezak (GM): "Radek! Fix Mr whizzy! He's bro-ho-ho-keeeeen" *sobs*
The Gravedigger: I'm sure Amadi could find some.
Or make some;
Amadi yells from however high she's gotten;
Amadi: You'd be better off with cats!
The Gravedigger: I hate cats!
Amadi drifts away into the clouds.
Gaurav: We're ... indoors?
Is she jumping around right outside the window?
Ellemerr: You think she cares?
Gaurav: She's jumping through the ceiling?
Damn. I wish Rhu could see that.
Apheori (GM): Drifted right through the roof, man.
Ellemerr: At some point he'll realize he's got the wrong god, man.
Apheori (GM): Rhu d20
Ellemerr: Anyway.
Ellemerr goes to bed.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
12
)
=
12
Gaurav: Anyway
let's go somewhere
or call it a day
not that Rhu isn't having a great time hanging out in a room feeling sorry for himself, but
Frezak (GM): Welp.
Did Radek make progress?
Ganelon: What he needs is a new brain.
Yes.
Some sort of progress.
Gaurav: What about miniRadek?
Might be useful to bounce ideas off of, at least.
Hazz'ridan: Patience, Rhu. Remember your task.
Er, that was whispered.
Hazz'ridan hurls tentacles any anyone who dares to argue.
Gaurav: Didn't someone say something about miniRadek (George?) having a plan to stop the zombies?
Rhu tries to pull himself together. He stands slowly, takes a deep breath, and -- with his hands in front of him -- finds the door.
Rhu then trips over the doorstop and falls over
Apheori (GM): What's Greibel doing?
Bear Soup Guy: Probably drugs
Frezak (GM): I catch the Avenger!
Apheori (GM): Is he?
Bear Soup Guy: He is
Gaurav: Yay!
Bear Soup Guy: Calming down after tentacle molestation
Rhu: Thanks.
Apheori (GM): One of the drugs turns out to be the porridge.
Greibel coughs heavily
Apheori (GM): It drops a bunch of truffles in your lap.
Gaurav: Yay! Porridge is back!
Greibel pets Rasputin
The porridge jiggles.
Ganelon: I agree with visiting George.
Frezak (GM): Let's roll up, hero-style;
GUNS BLAZING
Or not.
Gaurav: I'll hobble behind y'all
Frezak (GM): I can fukken carry you.
Gaurav: ... that works!
Frezak (GM): or you can ride a druid
If he turns into something mounteable.
The porridge: Such options.
Oops, ooc
Frezak (GM): SHut up, porridge.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Radek: Now, where did that guardsman run off to? The competent one.
Gaurav: Either option is fine, as long as we keep moving.
Apheori (GM): Yay moving.
Y'ALL HEAD OUTSIDE AND HOPEFULLY ONE OF YOU REMEMBERS WHERE GEORGE WENT.
Ganelon: You said the inn last time
Apheori (GM): Good, you remembered.
Gaurav wants to call it a day.
Bear Soup Guy: We've had a good long session, might not be a bad idea
Gaurav: Apheori doesn't, so it's really up to y'all! I don't mind as long as we keep moving. Rhu is unhappy, no reason to also be bored sitting in a room.
Bear Soup Guy: I'll have to do some recording later on but for now I don't mind continuing
Frezak (GM): I'm cool with stopping around now, actually.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Ganelon: Yeah.
This is a decent time.
Apheori (GM): When shall the next be?
Can everyone do sunday?
Frezak (GM): I can't.
Apheori (GM): THIS TIME?
Pfft.
When can you?
Frezak (GM): I.... don't know.
Probably not until wednesday, MAYBE Tuesday.
Apheori (GM): I can't do tuesday.
Wednesday, then?
Frezak (GM): Probably, not certainly.
Gaurav: Wednesday and Thursday I'm going to be on a train.
What about next Sunday? August 31?
Apheori (GM): I have no idea where I will be or what I'll be doing after the 28th.
How about the following sunday? >.<
We can all just come back to it then.
Assuming I'm back from holiday by then. Dunno why I wouldn't be.
Gaurav: Sunday, September 7? Works for me.
Frezak (GM): That's too far for me to say.
Apheori (GM): We'll come back to the figuring out when next week, then.
Bear Soup Guy: Generally I'm always available Sundays so that should be good for me
Gaurav: My classes start next week, so scheduling becomes a little tricky for me then. Hooray for school!
Bear Soup Guy: But yeah, we can confer on it in the time in between
Frezak (GM): SChoooool
Gaurav: Saturdays, Sundays and Wednesdays should be okay for me. The rest remain to be seen.
Cool. See you guys next week to plan something!
Ganelon: See ya.
Bear Soup Guy: Adios!
Apheori (GM) cackles and hugs y'all.
(To Rhu): Whether you get pissed off or not, just remember - I will always be in your mind.
</pre>