View source for Holes/Session 54

{{holes nav
|top=true
|previous=Holes/Session 53
|next=Holes/Session 55
}}

<screenplay>
INT. Great rift at Sanessee - tunnels

The rain has stopped, almost as suddenly as it started, leaving everything gleaming, with impossible colours glinting out of the edges.

Amadi puts away the umbrella.

Rhu tries to hand the drugs back to Greibel again.

Before Greibel can respond, the porridge oozes across his face, covering it in a strange, lumpy film. He pantomimes mock panic for a moment before just stopping and shrugging.

Then more porridge is oozing across the ground, out of the crevices, up Greibel's legs, covering him, more and more.

The Greibel lump, no longer even recognisable as Greibel, takes a lurching step towards Rhu.

Rhu pokes it. ''(rolled 22 heal)'' The lump seems to be growing, now vaguely conical.

The Gravedigger pokes it with a stick, trying to see if there's even a druid still in there.

The stick goes in slightly and then gets stuck.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy):  Can I x-ray the Porridge Form for a bong? Because Greibel wouldn't be without it. It's the source of his power.

RHU
(at nowhere in particular)
Hello?
(he waves his arms)
Hello? Hello?

Rhu spots some porridge tracks. More of a trail, really. Like oaty slugs. ''(rolled 23 perception)''  Little porridges coming together into big porridge.

Rhu follows a trail and winds up staring at a wall.

Amadi hands the porridge lump a cup of hot chocolate.

Instead of accepting the hot chocolate, all the porridge collapses into the floor and disappears, leaving behind nothing more than a deep, dark pit.

The Gravedigger shines a torch down the hole.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
(shouting down the hole)
GRAAAAAAAAVES.

The shout completely fails to echo.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy):  No light, no echo... Does it smell like a Hole? A capitalised hole?

MIDORIKI HANO (HAZZ'RIDAN)
It smells like a dead end.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy):  ...

The Gravedigger punts Midoriki Hano into the hole, and she vanishes almost immediately.

Kyrule appears behind Gravy, looking basically how she did before, grey and godly and masked and not at all an anime boobchick. For some reason her hair is a bit crazy, and in a completely different style from before. There seems to be a sausage embedded in it for some reason.

Kyrule giggles quietly before suddenly recovering herself and looking completely serious.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, hey.

KYRULE
Ahem. Yes. Hello.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
(shouting down the hole)
OKAY IN THERE?

KYRULE
I'm sure he's fine. She's. Something?

RADEK
What about Greibel?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, he's not here.

RADEK
Is he "fine"?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Difficult to say. Since. You know. He's not here.

AMADI
(she shrugs)
Soft landing. Oaty.

KYRULE
(peering down into the hole)
I'm not sure there will be much of a... landing.

The Gravedigger's eyes light up.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Jetpacks!

AMADI
Well, a cushioned fall that... doesn't end.

KYRULE
You'll see him again. You might even see both of them again. Though I do hope not.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey! I quite like Greibel! Somehow!

Radek grumbles.

Amadi leans over the hole, looking a tiny bit like she's about to just fall into it.

AMADI
He's... not terribly gone... somehow.

The Gravedigger throws drugs down the hole.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
In case he gets lonely.

AMADI
I wonder what'd happen if he used...

Amadi mumbles.

Rhu turns around and notices his god is missing.

The Gravedigger whistles and scuffs a foot in the dirt, hands behind his back.

RHU
HEY!

AMADI
Hello!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey?

Rhu runs up to the broken hole in the ground and looks inside.

RHU
HELLO? HELLO?
(to Gravy)
Did you just shove my god in there?

The Gravedigger looks at his shovel.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Um. No? Maybe?

RHU
Not cool, man, not cool.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, he killed me. Tit for... uh... tit.

RHU
You know he's pissed off at me already, and I'm pretty sure we need all the godly intervention we can get for this stupid suicid-- wait, what?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah. Your god's a bit of a dick.

Kyrule tries to look innocent and inconspicuous behind Gravy. This doesn't really work considering she's even taller than he is.

AMADI
I tried to stop her. But I'm not Squirrel.

Rhu looks at Amadi and Gravy before turning back to the hole.

RHU
(shouting down the hole)
DID YOU KILL HIM?

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy):  So tempted to punt Rhu in.

'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu):  omg do it

Kyrule whispers behind Gravy, "You know you want to."

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy):  The votes are in!

The Gravedigger whacks Rhu on the butt with his shovel. ''(rolled 31 vs 17 reflex)''

Rhu topples into the hole, and a tentacle reaches up to meet him an instant before he disappears entirely into shadow.

Radek edges further away from the hole - and Gravy.

Amadi climbs up Gravy and smacks him over the back of the head.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Okay, now we can get some work done!
That's.. uh... you, Radek.

RADEK
...Yes. Well.
...Onwards, then.

KYRULE
Actually, maybe... you shouldn't have done that.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ooops.

KYRULE
Maybe.


INT. Great Rift at Sanessee - deep dark pit

Rhu is suspended in blackness... and in Hazz'ridan. Other than that, he is simply alone.

There is no sign of Greibel.

RHU
...so.

Rhu attempts to move around in the empty blackness.

HAZZ'RIDAN
So.

RHU
I don't suppose you ''did'' kill Gravy.

HAZZ'RIDAN
I did.

Rhu sighs.

RHU
This is a pretty crazy party.
Is there any way to get back to the others, or do we have to wait for Mrs. Teatime to come rescue us again?

There is a pause, and then a tentacle wraps around Rhu with surprising gentleness, drawing him upwards.


INT. Great rift at Sanessee - tunnels

Rhu flies back out of the pit, bounces off the ceiling, and lands in a heap in front of Radek just as everyone is about to leave entirely.

A tentacle waves slightly after him before sinking back down and disappearing.

RHU
Ow.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey! Done with so soon?

RHU
Hi. I think we're all even now. Maybe.

A small chunk of porridge jiggles on Gravy's shoulder.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hokay! Radek?

Rhu thanks Hazz' for the redemption and/or rescue.

Radek grumbles and shakes his head as he steps over (not on top of) Rhu.

RADEK
It's a wonder anyone fears the unknown these days...

'''''Ganelon''' (Radek):  Damn youngsters don't even appreciate the unspeakable terrors they find themselves facing.

KYRULE
People don't know what unspeakable horrors lie beneath. Easy to only see what you see.

RADEK
Hmph. Only because you've all gone ''soft''. Back in my day, we were never this blind.

Radek heads off down the tunnel, not bothering with whether or not anyone is going to follow.

AMADI
I'm not actually blind, I'm just wearing shades in the middle of the night. It's a fashion statement.

As the others head after Radek, Kyrule pulls the sausage out of her hair.

KYRULE
(muttering)
Yeah, blind.

Kyrule starts munching on the sausage.

The Gravedigger's eyes widen.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sausages!

Amadi draws out some sausages for Gravy.

The Gravedigger produces his own sausages (ALL FOUR KINDS).

THE GRAVEDIGGER
(in declaration)
This shall be The Time Of Lunching As Soon As We're Out Of This Cave.

Rhu cheers.


INT. Great Rift at Sanessee - more tunnels

After some more hiking, with no moles in sight, or even dead moles, the party comes across some people.

There are eight of them, all frozen in place, as if paused in mid-action. One, a warrior in leathers, with swords sheathed, is fleeing from the others in utter terror. His pursuers are a mismatched bunch, a combination of soldiers, peasants, and aliens, full of darkness and harsh gleamings.

The Gravedigger raises a shovel to poke the warrior-looking guy, but then Kyrule moves to stop him, placing a warning hand on the shovel.

The Gravedigger stops.

Kyrule approaches the warrior guy and reaches out to touch his face, but then also stop at the last moment, looking really, really sad for a moment.

KYRULE
(whispering)
Oh, Vardaman... be our beacon, my dearest Deathdealer, for one long night.
And yet I fear when we part next, it will be under even darker skies...

She backs away, drawing the Gravedigger as well aside around the frozen guy.

RHU
Can either of you gods unfreeze them somehow?

KYRULE
We're currently kind of outside of time. I wouldn't touch them.

AMADI
Separate time-streams! Like two rivers running at different speed. Which can totally happen.

RHU
What happens if we touch them?

RADEK
Consider this, Rhu. An object moving at sufficient speed relative to its observer is effectively undetectable.
If we have even the slightest semblance of mass, contact with these people could potentially annihilate them.

KYRULE
You can break the weak forces within atoms. It's fun.

RHU
So it's something to do with the observer's relative. Hmm, interesting.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's fine, the differential in temporal rates is vast enough that the slipstream would only shear off a minor value of particles.
Or so they say.

RADEK
...Just leave them undisturbed.

RHU
I think Holy Kyrule is right, though. I think it will be fun.

KYRULE
(to Rhu)
That was sarcasm.

RHU
Oh.

The Gravedigger runs around the frozen people in slow motion.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Toooooo faaaaaasssssst fooooorrrrr yyyyooouuuu.
Caaaaaant caaaaatchhhh meeeee.
Iiiiiiiim theeeeee giiiiingerrrrbreaaaaad maaaaaan.

Radek clears his throat. Loudly.

The Gravedigger stops immediately and salutes.

RADEK
Let us continue.

Amadi tries to drop a sausage into their time-stream, right in front of a random pursuer's face. ''(rolled 6 reality)''

There is an uncertain moment while the sausage hangs lazily in front of him, and then both sausage and pursuer explode.

The explosion expands a little bit past the floor before suddenly slowing almost to a stop, almost frozen in time like really thick syrup almost frozen in a freezer.

It glows violently.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Noooooo!

AMADI
...Oooops?

Radek and Kyrule facepalm.

Amadi whistles and skips after Radek.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe don't do that again?

AMADI
Yes, let's go!

The explosion continues to expand really, really slowly.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's go... a leetle faster?

Rhu nods at Gravy and is clearly ready to run for it, but the explosion is still only slightly larger than it started out.

The party continues on past the explosion, only sort of hurrying, while Kyrule hangs back a bit to actually put it out.
</screenplay>

{{holes nav
|top=true
|previous=Holes/Session 53
|next=Holes/Session 55
}}