View source for Holes/Session 4

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<screenplay>
EXT. Car over open ocean - weird-arse twilight

There's not much to see, just ocean, some cities and other random stuff in the far off distance, and a really disturbing sky nobody is looking at.

Radek is driving the car to a city only he and Greibel could see.

Rhu starts screaming again.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Quiet back there! Or I'll turn this ship around! And put you in holes!

Rhu stops screaming.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thank you.

The Gravedigger tries to resume his nap.

Greibel continues dancing around behind Gravy for protection from Aziraphale.


EXT. Partially invisible city - weird-arse twilight

Radek docks the car-shit next to something invisible, though to him and Greibel it looks very much like just another Sarathi city. This one is smaller than the first one they came to, and seems to have suffered considerably more damage.

Radek steps out like the grump he is. To the others it looks like he is standing on nothing.

Rhu is still utterly panicked and doesn't even notice.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON. More of this? Anyone have paint?

Aziraphale ''(rolled 12 reality)'' and Greibel ''(rolled 5 reality)'' finally realise they're actually not trying to kill each other and resume sanity. Or their versions of sanity. Which in Greibel's case doesn't mean much.

Greibel gets distracted by a cloud.

GREIBEL
Wheeeeee.

Aziraphale looks at Greibel and suddenly gets an urge to hug him.

AZIRAPHALE
So Radek, did you just go out for a quick smoke in mid air?

RADEK
No, I'm standing on solid ground. And I don't smoke.

GREIBEL
You should start, man. It's awesome.

RADEK
Undoubtedly.

AZIRAPHALE
What solid ground?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't see any ground.

AZIRAPHALE
I mean, this is quite impressive and all. Or is this one of the perception issues again?

Aziraphale grumbles.

GREIBEL
Pala-dude, perception is just the gateway to the soul, man.

Rhu sort of comes to his senses ''(rolled 10 reality)'', sees Radek standing on nothing, and realises he's probably lost it.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe we can find fancy glasses.

The Gravedigger pokes the 'ground' with a shovel. His second-best shovel, just in case. It clinks on stone.

AZIRAPHALE
Augh damn it.

Aziraphale gingerly steps outside the vehicle. He winds up standing on nothing, and resolutely looks straight ahead.

The Gravedigger leaps out onto the nothing. Carefully. There is a loud crack as he lands.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
That wasn't me.

RADEK
I would propose linking our consciousnesses together, except that would likely drive all of us insane for completely unrelated reasons to our present dilemma.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't want your consciousness. It's sad and grumpy.

RADEK
Hmph. Yours isn't exactly a prize worth fighting for either.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's beyond price.

AZIRAPHALE
This isn't sustainable. Even if we were standing on solid ground, we can't do anything when we can't see what's really around us.

GREIBEL
You know what I do when I want to see what's really around me?

AZIRAPHALE
No. And I don't really want to know.

Aziraphale grumbles some more.

GREIBEL
Your loss, dude.

Greibel smokes some drugs.

The sky is watching like a wretched abyss.

'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): brb bathroom.

'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE SKY IN THE BATHROOM. IT'S WATCHING YOU THERE TOO.

The (invisible) ground creaks underfoot.

Radek does some magic to try to stabilise things. ''(rolled 26 arcana)'' A couple of buildings fall down, though none particularly closeby.

Everything shimmers. And rumbles. This much everyone can see and hear.

Aziraphale goes back in the car-ship and starts to tend to Rhu's mostly shovel-inflicted injuries, but gets distracted by the rubbling rumbles. He tries to see what did it, but just winds up hearing a horrible high-pitched wine ''(rolled 4 perception (natural 1))''. 

Aziraphale winces.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
RAdek? Can you do something so we can see what's going on? Because it sounds like holes.

RADEK
I'm trying.

AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone else hear that noise?

RHU
Yes, we all hear the rumbling.

The rumbling and creaking is becoming more insistent, building up in intensity. Meanwhile the sky is a massive hole and wants to eat everyone.

AZIRAPHALE
There's this... high pitched noise. Real unpleasant. Looks like reality is mucking about.

GREIBEL
This reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Oh wait, no, it was a movie. Never mind.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I think I'm gonna get back in the car now.

He does so.

AZIRAPHALE
Ye-ah. Might be a good idea.

Greibel senses a squirrel he can't see. ''(rolled 5 reality)''

Buildings are collapsing.

GREIBEL
Hmmmm.

The place is rumbling and cracking.

AZIRAPHALE
Guys, let's get back in the ship.

Radek does.

Aziraphale reenters the car-ship as well.

'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): I suggest investigating the sky. Last time someone said we should just charge towards it. >.>

'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Words no one has ever said before qithout smelling heavily of wine in an alley.

The sky seems... lower. The shimmering is also much more intense.

GREIBEL
I miss my tree, man.

RADEK
So if you don't want to land on the clearly visible city, which is now admittedly collapsing, by the way, where are we headed?

AZIRAPHALE
Let's check out the sky?

Almost as if in answer to the question, reality collapses in on itself, and everything goes knurd.

GREIBEL
Woah. I haven't seen knurd in ages.

And then everyone passes out.



EXT. Dry dusty woods - day

The car appears to have crashed in a clearing amidst some leafless trees, spilling most of the unconscious party out around it. It's no longer hovering. Things are oddly normal and quiet.

The loudest thing around is the Gravedigger snoring in the front seat of the car.

Aziraphale wakes up first ''(rolled 21 constitution (natural 20))'' and looks around, then goes to shake the others, waking up everyone but Greibel. Greibel seems to be having a nice dream, mumbling about a tree.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aw. He's like a little angel.

AZIRAPHALE
Alright, so here we are. Lost once again. Lovely.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
He could probably do with time to recover from the drugs.

A slight breeze rustles the dry twiggage.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
So... this is.... uh....

AZIRAPHALE
I hope you've all had a nice nap. ESPECIALLY YOU, GRAVY.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It was great. I feel so refreshed.

Aziraphale kicks Greibel lightly.

Rhu coughs at the dust.

The Gravedigger goes and picks up Radek, placing him on his feet.

Radek grumbles loudly. Dirt is sticking to his metallic coating. It tries to eat the dirt, so he wipes the rest of the dirt off.
</screenplay>



<pre>
Rhu: 15 perception to examine area
Frezak: Leafless? Dead?
Apheori (GM): Apparently. It's too warm to be winter, and everything is just... dry.
You could check them, though.
Frezak: I'll go smack a tree and see if it's dead.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Everything seems alarmingly normal, if a bit dead. The sky is a sky, the ground is solid, there are dry leaves and grasses around...
And apparently you landed in an old campsite.
Rhu beams
RHU
Guys. GUYS. Reality seems to be not completely messed up for the moment.
Rhu carefully pokes at the ground
Apheori (GM): Frezak: The tree drops a bunch of dust on you. It seems to be dead.
Frezak: Hmm.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's a ground.
RHU
GUYS! SOLID GROUND!
Frezak: Campsite? Any.. camping /things/ ? tent, fire....
RADEK
Yes, but where are we?
The Gravedigger pats Rhu.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
yes, that's ground.
I know ground all right.
And that, there. Is ground.
RHU
GROUND.
Rhu lies down on the ground.
Apheori (GM): Old firepit with some logs, some stakes for a tent, an old journal, some shiny things in the grass...
Frezak: SHINY THINGS.
EXAMINE SHINY THINGS.
Wen: (I'm totally still following along)
Apheori (GM): Shiny things are some bottles of what might be potions or liqueurs and a bong.
Frezak: HMMM.
Could I identify the bottle contents with a... nature check?
that bong better be a +1 bong.
Apheori (GM): Try it.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+8
(
13
)
+8
=
21
brb
AGAIN >.>
Apheori (GM): The primary liquid in them appears to be alcohol. Beyond that you can't really tell what they are.
A couple are empty, but they're dry and don't smell like anything.
Aziraphale looks at the sky
RHU
(getting off the ground) I think we should check if we can establish radio contact with the ship that brought us to this benighted planet, headquarters, and any living soul again, just in case something changed while we slept.
Apheori (GM): The sky is a sky, broad and blue and cloudless. Standard world, healthy.
It magically fixed itself!
RADEK
I wouldn't be so quick to assume we're still on Sarathi.
Ganelon: Still, I'll give the computer a shot.
AZIRAPHALE
Good point. Any way to check?
Would be nice if we got teleported out of that hellhole anyway.
RHU
Ah. Well, maybe we're somewhere with a better class of reality, then.
Ganelon: Any connection?
Apheori (GM): No connection.
RHU
Have you tried hitting it?
Frezak: I will take all the bottles.
RADEK
Have you tried getting an education in computer engineering?
There's no connection.
Ganelon: GRUMPY
Apheori (GM): Snrk.
(To Greibel): Wake up and pick up the bong.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I could hit it for you!
I understand all that learning gave you noodley arms.
I'll help!
Greibel starts waking up
The Gravedigger readies shovel.
Greibel stumbles into the place w'e're at
AZIRAPHALE
Gravy, I don't think that's the best idea.
Wen: does whatever radio device I have on me have any reception?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Aw.
GREIBEL
Hey, what happened dudes?
Oh sweet. Anybody got dibs on the bong?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
magic!
RHU
Maybe Greibel can turn into a swarm of birds and check out the area for us?
Apheori (GM): You've still got reception to the other ones.
And none of them are identifying as 'sexy' anymore.
Greibel takes the bong
Wen: Good.
AZIRAPHALE
I sort of like this reality.
I second the suggestion that Greibel scout the area.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
This is fine hole-dirt.
GREIBEL
Okay
Apheori (GM): You could dig a hole!
Gaurav: Er
Apheori (GM): And bury the car-thing!
Gaurav: Wait
GREIBEL
(in a serious super-hero voice) Hold my bong!
Apheori (GM): I mean...
Rhu picks up the old journal and flips through it
Aziraphale reverentially holds it
Frezak: I will begin digging.
Greibel unceremoniously poofs into a flock of dirty birds
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You don't recognise the script. Which is odd, because you've at least seen quite a few...
RADEK
Wait, what are you digging a hole for?
Apheori (GM): It also isn't very good handwriting, though, so that might have something to do with it.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You never know when you need a good hole.
RHU
Hey ... does anybody recognize this script?
AZIRAPHALE
I'll read it.
Frezak: I'll peek over Azir's shoulder for a glance then get back to digging.
Apheori (GM): Azir: It looks... familiar. Like you should know what it is. But you don't.
Wen: oh damn, I thought I could roll
Apheori (GM): Frezak: It looks like really bad handwriting,.
Frezak: And by peek I mean loom.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+2 history check to see if anything about the script recalls any past civilization or culture.
(
2
)
+2
=
4
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Rhu tries looking at the journal upside down
Frezak: SMOKE IT IN THE BONG
Ganelon: I'll check out the car.
Apheori (GM): Wen: You can roll, you just...
Er, wait, no, you could succeed.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Apheori (GM): DO IT.
AZIRAPHALE
So this looks familiar, but I still can't read it.
Apheori (GM): I keep mixing up the holy people.
Bear Soup Guy: But I'm birds!
Apheori (GM): No, wait, I still mixed them up.
BIRDS!
Wen: also, did the ship turn into a car? or is that just alias car ship
Frezak: Wen is super holy.
Ganelon: I'm calling it a car.
Wen: totes
Apheori (GM): Car-ship.
Frezak: It was always a flying convertible car.
Apheori (GM): Future car.
Convertible thingy.
Frezak: future
Apheori (GM): This wasn't SHIP.
Gaurav: Yeah, but this isn't the ship named SHIP we landed in, right? This we picked up outside the mall?
Wen: indeed
Frezak: This car does not make sandwiches.
Wen: so what does Greibel see?
(To Greibel): As birds, you scout the area. There are a lot of trees, some hills, a village in the distance that looks like some sort of weird hippy commune. Everything is pretty dry.
Apheori (GM): Azir, Rhu: I'm sorry, I mixed you two up. It looked familiar to Rhu, Azir has never seen anything like it. I apologise for this.
Greibel needs to get back and say.
RHU
Huh. This looks ... familiar.
Wen: Hmm.. this is odd. So it's from this planet, but I can't read it and Rhu can.
unless it isn't from this planet! -cue dramatic music-
Apheori (GM): I never said he could read it.
Wen: oh right.
Apheori (GM): Just that it looked familiar.
Wen: where's Rhu from anyway?
Ganelon: Why is the car no longer hovering?
Apheori (GM): Sarathi gets a lot of vacationers.
Good question!
Bear Soup Guy: SORRY I HAD TO DO A THING SUPER QUICK
Rhu puts away the old journal
Greibel turns back to elf
GREIBEL
There's a village off in that direction. Looks like some kind of commune sort of place. Other than that, lots of trees, birds, hills. Mostly unpopulated by any kinds of people.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
What about things that aren't people?
RADEK
Mostly?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Giant lizards?
Magic bugs?
(To Greibel): There wasn't much else. Too dry?
(To Greibel): Some caves, though. Might be some there.
RHU
Greibel: Any bodies of water around?
(To Greibel): You didn't see any water...
GREIBEL
There were some caves, might be some people or animals in there.
(To Greibel): MADNESS.
GREIBEL
Not much for non-birds
No water anywhere nearby
Frezak: So how common is .. teleportation in our future universe?
Apheori (GM): Very common.
Frezak: So being dumped across planets is nothing spectacular?
Apheori (GM): Got devices in every town to jump pedestrians between them, and gateways between many major worlds...
But being dumped without a device? That is odd.
Gaurav: I don't think we're carrying teleporters, though? And walking to that commune is just asking for a random encounter.
Apheori (GM): Wizards might do that sort of thing, but that's wizards.
Ganelon: Never call Radek a wizard, incidentally.
Frezak: Well i'm totes hyped for going to the willage.
Maybe the want some holes dug.
AZIRAPHALE
I second the motion to go to the village.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
To the willage!
GREIBEL
Willage!
Ganelon: Hold up.
Frezak: Comes Gravy's voice from his hole.
RHU
We should see if we can get the ship named car working first.
Ganelon: Again, what's wrong with the car?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, all right.
Ganelon: Yeah, that.
RHU
That would help us get to the village and more importantly get away when everything goes awful.
Apheori (GM): It's just sitting there.
The Gravedigger resumes holecrafting.
Apheori (GM): I take it Radek investigates?
Ganelon: Yes.
Apheori (GM): Roll an investigate!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
5
)
+10
=
15
Apheori (GM): Apparently it's off.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Wen: hee
Ganelon: ...I turn it on.
Apheori (GM): It turns on, but only partly lifts.
Like only the front.
Frezak: It's a giant Tenser's disk.
Wen: o_O
Frezak: Oh.
RHU
Oh!
Maybe something's wrong with the rear ... disk?
Radek climbs out of the vehicle.
Bear Soup Guy takes his bong back
Bear Soup Guy: Thanks for holding this, man
Fragile, you know
RADEK
Turn this thing over on its side so I can take a look.
Frezak: CAN DO.
Strength check to flip the car.
rolling 1D20+4
(
1
)
+4
=
5
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+6 Nature check to see if I can guess what kind of monsters might live in this area.
(
2
)
+6
=
8
Frezak: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MY POWERRRRRR
Faaadinnnnnngggg...
Gaurav: In Soviet Russia, car flips you.
Wen: uhh, should I give it a go?
Frezak: I pulled a muscle >.>
Or several.
Aaaag my lats
Apheori (GM): That.
RADEK
Hmph.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You suspect birds.
Ganelon: I'll try it!
Frezak: I'm gonna hide in my hole.
Ganelon: With my fantastic old-man strength!
rolling 1d20-1
(
7
)
-1
=
6
YEAH
Frezak: You can sit in my hole if you want.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20 + 4
(
1
)
+4
=
5
..
Guys, I don't think we're going to be able to do this.
Apheori (GM): You, you all failed, and Azir broke a nail.
AZIRAPHALE
ow.
Frezak: What the hells.
AZIRAPHALE
Let's try the village first, maybe?
Frezak: Maybe... turn the engine off and THEN flip it?
Bear Soup Guy: Should Greibel still SMOKE THE SCRIPT
AZIRAPHALE
NO.
Frezak: SMOKE THAT SHIT MAN
Bear Soup Guy: Damn :(
Frezak: INGEST THE WORDS
INHALE TRUTH
AZIRAPHALE
Uhh
Aziraphale eyes Gravy
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak: Gravy is sad.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, I think he's going insane.
Frezak: His one talent is that he's strong. And he failed at that.
RADEK
No. No, no, no, no. We are not talking about sanity again.
RHU
Maybe there's a panel at the back of CAR that opens? Don't mechanical things usually have panels?
RADEK
Let's go to the village.
Apheori (GM): You could... try again.
Ganelon: Another roll?
Frezak: I'd love to try again.
Gaurav: I could try. Is it just 1d20 + STR?
Wen: yeah.
Bear Soup Guy: Strength modifier I believe
Wen: what are we going to do if we fix it though? We'd still go to the village.
Frezak: But we could go to the willage in STYLE.
Gaurav: hmm, my strength is zero, so I should probably go last. Greibel: can you change into any animal big enough to carry the car?
Frezak: I can try again, GM?
Math gives me chances of not FUCKING IT UP
Gaurav: And we aren't leaving the only thing from Sarathi we still have at a campsite where we might not be able to find it again.
Apheori (GM): You can always try again unless things break.
Ganelon: My strength is -1.
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+4
(
1
)
+4
=
5
GODDAM IT
FUCK THIS GAME
Bear Soup Guy: That's a good question Guar
Frezak: GRAAAAAH
Ganelon: Pfffaaahahahah
Bear Soup Guy: What are the rules on that?
Frezak: FUCKING NEUTRONIUM CAR
Gaurav: Well, that and this light fixture I picked up.
Bear Soup Guy: My strength is balls but I can turn into like a bear or a dragon or something
Rhu tries
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+0
(
13
)
+0
=
13
Frezak: It doesn't change your stats, BSG.
Apheori (GM): You feel like you almost can and are sad.
Bear Soup Guy: Okie-dokie
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Also you saw a panel.
RHU
A PANEL!
Rhu points at the panel hoping someone who understands technology can do the technology thing
Aziraphale pokes Radek
Ganelon: Panel science?
Frezak: I'm sobbing in my hole.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
12
)
+10
=
22
GREIBEL
Hey man, don't be bummed.
It's a pretty big car thing, y'know?
Apheori (GM): Gan: You get the panel off, find the controls all look fine, and realise the back thing is just full of dirt.
Gaurav: In my head, I see Gravy as being twice as tall as the car is long.
AZIRAPHALE
Looks like a job for Gravy.
Gaurav: well, not twice
but just absurdly too big for this car
Frezak: Gravy is about... seven feets of tallness?
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Like Shaq in a Miata
RADEK
Gravy, come get this dirt out of here.
Frezak: HOW.
Bear Soup Guy: Also brb starting some noodles
Frezak: WITH MY GIANT HANDS?
Apheori (GM): Well, he could stick his hand in it. But that would probably be a terrible idea if the car is on.
Frezak: Also that.
RADEK
Dirt and violence are your two specialties, aren't they?
Apheori (GM): Of course Gravy might not realise that second bit...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
If you want that car to work, these giant hamhocks won't help.
Will my shove fit in that hole? i don't think so.
Apheori (GM): Also I want noodles too.
RADEK
Useless!
Apheori (GM): MAgic.
Frezak: I don't deal in precision stuff.
I MAKE HOLES
I DO NOT FIX CARS.
The Gravedigger sobs in his hole some more.
Ganelon: I'll do it myself, then.
With the car off.
While grumbling about unreliable urban vehicle designs.
Apheori (GM): You get the dirt out and turn it back on and it just works.
RHU
YAY!
Frezak: I want to check my backpack to check that everything is how I last left it.
If dirt got teleported into the car bits, who know what else has moved.
Apheori (GM): As a side note, Greibel tries smoking some plants he found. This has no real bearing on anything, but that's what he's doing while this is going on. And while the noodles are preparing.
Wen: so do we take the car-ship to the village?
Frezak: Can i roll Nature to identify psychotropic plants?
Ganelon: That's the plan.
Frezak: ANd make sure to steer him away from them?
If I roll enough things I won't get a 1.
Apheori (GM): Your stuff all seems to be there, although you're not sure where the package of fertiliser came from...
Frezak: A package?
Future or old times package?
Apheori (GM): You've got a tub of fertiliser. Like... normal technical chemical fertiliser.
Frezak: Any distinctive writing on it?
Apheori (GM): It's labelled 'all-purpose plant food'
Frezak: Hmmm.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
hey, check your stuff, guys.
Aziraphale examines his inventory
Ganelon: Anything out of place?
Apheori (GM): The dragon parts you collected don't seem to be dragon parts anymore.
They seem to have broken down.
Wen: You get a pack of fertilizers. You get a pack of fertilizers. EVERYONE gets a pack of fertilizers.
Apheori (GM): Still probably useful, though.
Greibel has a pocket full of fanged peas.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
GAH
PEAS
Gaurav: Unless I missed something, the only thing Rhu picked up recently is the half digested light fixture and the old journal. Are they still fine?
Wen: I thought we were out of the crazy reality? :/
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: Aye.
Greibel found the peas by reaching into a pocket and pulling out a hand covered in them. Not attacking, just... sticking and chittering.
Frezak: PLANT PLAN.
Save them peas, man.
Save them for dire times.
GREIBEL
Right on
Greibel puts the peas back in his pocket
RHU
Those are some cool peas.
GREIBEL
Shhhh, your time will come little ones
Apheori (GM): The peas come off without complaint.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm more bothered by the fact that everything seemed sane for a moment, and then bam, fanged peas.
Nothing against the peas themselves, just..
Rhu checks the box of fertilizer to see if it has any ammonium nitrate in it
THE GRAVEDIGGER
i'm sure everything will sort itself out.
Gaurav: Are fanged peas a savory snack on the planet Rhu is from?
Oh, I meant: Rhu looks at the text on the box, not performs some sort of on the fly chemical analysis
Apheori (GM): Urea nitrogen.
12% nitrogen, but not that.
AZIRAPHALE
I think we should head to the village.
Apheori (GM): The one you mentioned.
Frezak: TO THE WILLAGE
Apheori (GM): Fanged peas ain't a snack anywhere... civilised.
Ganelon: Willage?
Gaurav: Before we head to the village, we should double-check that we're all healed up and fighting-ready.
Frezak: WILLAGE
Wen: I think we are.
Frezak: I haven't taken any damage.
Wen: Rhu was the only one that ever got hit by the chicken, and he's healed.
Apheori (GM): Someone broke a nail at some point.
Gaurav: Sweet. Sounds like we're ready to go!
Wen: yes, me, but I didn't realise that hurt HP
so uh, I heal myself?
(To Frezak): How do I throw a pack of starved wolves at you?
RHU
(darkly) I don't like communes. Or villages. Or _people_.
Rhu gets back into the car
(From Frezak): You say... "You come across a pack of starved wolves." ? O.o
Gaurav: BTW: Wikipedia says that urea + nitric acid = explosive, so keep your eyes peeled for nitric acid I guess.
GREIBEL
I LOVE communes
And people are alright, but I prefer animals
Bear Soup Guy: :O
(To Frezak): Yeah, but the encounter... thing...
Wen: uh, we float over to the village?
(To Frezak): Then again if you're flying that's not an issue.
(From Frezak): Um. I'll find some wolf tokens and some wolf monster sheets? Then slide the party to another map - oh, right.
Gaurav: Who's driving?
Frezak: Who has best perception?
Apheori (GM): How do you get Gravy out of his hole?
Wen: can't he dig himself out?
Frezak: I'll just climb out, sulkily.
Apheori (GM): Aw.
Ganelon: Aw, I was going to suggest flooding it with fertilizer.
RHU
Animals are alright, I guess. Cats are pretty cool, even when they're not gods.
AZIRAPHALE
cat gods are terrible
Gaurav: Rhu has +11 perception, and anybody within five squares of me gets a +1 to their perception.
anybody -> allies
Bear Soup Guy: sexy
Frezak: Well that puts me at... 9.
SO YOU CAN DRIVE
RADEK
Gods, animals, people... I'll stick with my machines.
RHU
Everybody in?
AZIRAPHALE
Gravy?
Rhu squints at the road and drives in whatever direction Greibel said the village was.
Frezak: yeah, i'll get in back.
GREIBEL
Road trip!
Ganelon: Wait, there's a road?
Apheori (GM): Not really.
RHU
Plain trip!
Frezak: Dirt!
GREIBEL
DIRT!
Apheori (GM): A bit of a path, but not wide enough to fit the car, and it doesn't really go anywhere.
So you, like, fly over the trees or something.
Frezak: HAHA, SUCK IT, TREES
RHU
Huh. This is a cool car.
Apheori (GM): Roll your thingies.
Perceptions.
Things.
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+8+1
(
6
)
+8+1
=
15
Wen: +8+1?
GREIBEL
r 1d20+9+1
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+7+1
(
10
)
+7+1
=
18
Frezak: +1 from Rhu?
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+11 perception
(
2
)
+11
=
13
Wen: oh
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20 + 3 + 1
(
11
)
+3+1
=
15
RHU
There are some trees over here. I think.
Frezak: We need a new driver.
Apheori (GM): Y'all see trees. And dirt. And rocks.
And a sinkhole over there.
And more rocks.
And some strange shiny things with a deformed bird on them.
And more dirt. And trees. And rocks.
All the trees are dead.
RHU
Should we investigate the sinkhole?
Or the deformed bird?
Frezak: Deformed bird?
Also shiny things.
Apheori (GM): It's very large, missing a bunch of feathers, and has too many limbs.
Frezak: Ew.
Wen: any shimmering or other signs of deformed reality?
Apheori (GM): Not that you see.
Wen: Good.
RHU
Phew.
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel: can you see what's up with the bird?
Frezak: Nature checks on the bird?
Apheori (GM): ..sure.
Bear Soup Guy: NATURE CHECKS
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+8
(
17
)
+8
=
25
Ganelon: I know nothing about mutants.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+11
(
18
)
+11
=
29
Apheori (GM): Radek should do a science check.
Gaurav: Woah, nice rolls.
Frezak: DAMMIT BSG
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS UPSTAGE ME
Ganelon: ...Do I still need to?
Apheori (GM): I guess not.
Bear Soup Guy: =D
Frezak: Between us, we know all nature.
Gaurav: BSG is more nature than man.
Er, elf.
Bear Soup Guy: Together we could conquer the dirt world!
Apheori (GM): It's a mutated bird, like a second or third generation after a bad radiationing thing.
...words are hard.
Frezak: Hmmm.
Does it seem agressive?
Apheori (GM): You're not close enough. You could get closer.
Frezak: Likely to be a problem if we examined the shiny stuffs?
Bear Soup Guy: NATURE EYES
Apheori (GM): It seems like it could be guarding the stuff.
Frezak: Hmmm.
Have radek fire a warning shot?
Ganelon: Just to make noise?
AZIRAPHALE
I suggest we go to the village first. I mean, even if we do all our observations, we can't really understand any of what happened without more information.
Frezak: AND LEAVE THE SHINIES?
...
Fine.
GREIBEL
Looks like he isn't going anywhere, I guess
RHU
I agree with Azi, although it might be fun to have Greibel turn into a flock of angry birds and try to distract the mutant bird for us.
AZIRAPHALE
It'd achieve nothing.
RHU
...
Frezak: A flock of sexy mutant birds.
Apheori (GM): XD
Greibel slicks his hair
AZIRAPHALE
If the mutant birds attack, we could do that.
RHU
We could also just drive this car into the bird. It belongs in a museum!
Frezak: Well, at least in a jar.
AZIRAPHALE
You're like the British and the pyramids way back when people still lived on earth.
"This belongs in a museum!"
a jar. Even worse.
Gaurav: I work in a museum. We have many jars.
Wen: do they have interesting stuff in them? :P
Apheori (GM): Octopi.
Squids.
Slugs.
More slugs.
Wen: My character is like, uptight and grumpy and not very likeable. Of course it's going to be a dick about it.
Apheori (GM): But anyhow.
Wen: damn slugs.
Apheori (GM): Your character is awesome.
Wen: so let's continue to the village?
Apheori (GM): So what'll you do?
DRIVER. DO SOMETHING.
Wen: I vote village.
RHU
I vote village.
(but wait to see what the others say before actually driving us there)
GREIBEL
I vote village but that bird is so cute
Frezak: sure
Ganelon: Works for me.
Rhu drives us to the village
Apheori (GM): It's evening. There are some folks standing around listlessly, but then one spots you approach and points. They stare up in shock and wonder.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
HELLO PEOPLE.
WE COME TO DIG HOLES.
RADEK
No we don't!
Rhu keeps the car hovering 20 feet above the shocked people.
Apheori (GM): The people startle at Gravy, and especially his voice, and cower in fear.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm trying to reassure them.
Everyone likes holes.
The Gravedigger waves
AZIRAPHALE
Hallo.
Bear Soup Guy: Shall we roll for their trust or...something?
They'll probably like me, being the outdoorsman
The villagers back away in fear.
Frezak: Just rain drugs on them.
Apheori (GM): You're hovering 20ft up.
AZIRAPHALE
Hello, people, do you have food? I'm hungry.
Apheori (GM): Of course that might be a little intimidating.
RHU
Who's the most charismatic person here?
Ganelon: Someone insight these people.
I'm terrible at it.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20 + 8
(
12
)
+8
=
20
Gaurav: Rhu's CHA is -1 so he's keeping his big mouth shut.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20+9
(
4
)
+9
=
13
Frezak: So's mine >.>
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah we all suck at people
Gaurav: DM: did you just create a character named "The villagers"? Or can you make actions with arbitrary subjects?
Frezak: It's a Journal entry.
Apheori (GM): It's not a commune, or hippies. It's a village of what appears to be an agrarian society, except they don't look very well off. They look all afraid and hungry and hopeless.
Frezak: So.... both >.>
Apheori (GM): Yup.
Wen: do they understand us?
Apheori (GM): They don't seem to.
And now most of them have run away inside.
Wen: can I have a babelfish?
Frezak: Most?
Apheori (GM): I don't think Radek knows how to make those.
Two villagers remain.
But they don't seem inclined to actually do anything with y'all way up there. They're just watching.
Frezak: Drop down.
I have an icebreaker.
RADEK
What are they so afraid of?
AZIRAPHALE
Us, I think.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe they've never seen such a beard.
It might be scary for them.
RADEK
Fear isn't exactly the first emotion I would experience, looking at this group as an outsider.
AZIRAPHALE
if you were an agrarian society with no experience of space-age technology, wouldn't you be afraid of a hovercraft?
RADEK
Maybe pity.
RHU
An agrarian society? Do you suppose they'd be interested in fertilizer?
Wen: I should know if agrarian society exists (and if so, where) on Srathi, shouldn't I?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Wen: so?
AZIRAPHALE
I don't think they wouldn't know what to do with it
Apheori (GM): There was a proposed hippy commune at one point, but it never actually happened.
Frezak: But these are wood huts, right?
Apheori (GM): The huts are wood and stone.
AZIRAPHALE
-don't
Apheori (GM): But roofed with thatch.
Wen: So there aren't supposed to be agrarian societies on Sarathi?
Apheori (GM): Right.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, this is.. odd.
Frezak: Surely handmade structure are strange to us?
Apheori (GM): And Sarathi is usually pretty lush, too.
Yes.
AZIRAPHALE
I don't think places like this exist anymore on Sarathi.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Those houses were made by hand.
Apheori (GM): They are.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ya don't see those anymore.
Apheori (GM): Some people do it, like you and your shovels, but it's odd.
AZIRAPHALE
...so we're either somewhere no one has ever been, on another planet, or in another dimension.
Ellemerr: "Aw, this is so quaint!"
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Is this a Ren fair?
AZIRAPHALE
This does not please me.
RHU
One of us needs to speak with them. Does anybody have a Charisma over zero?
Apheori (GM): You forgot time travel.
Frezak: I'm at -1.
But I have a trick.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh, or we travelled back in time.
Frezak: Lemme down!
AZIRAPHALE
Thanks voice-from-nowehere.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have an idea, guys.
Apheori (GM): Azir: I'm the voice in the back of your mind because you're crazy.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Lower us down slowly.
Rhu lowers us down slowly
Frezak: I'll get out, making exaggerated, slow moves.
And clearly put my shovel and shield into the car.
And pull out one of the booze bottles from my pack.
Uncork it, take a swig.
Apheori (GM): One of the ones from the campsite?
Frezak: And then advance to one of the dudes with a bottle in hand.
yes, those.
You said they were booze, right?
Apheori (GM): Alcohol, yes.
It makes you feel funny. Lighter.
GREIBEL
That's a great idea!
Poor people love booze!
Apheori (GM): One of the villagers eyes you suspiciously, but also approaches.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Radek, you're smart. Come with me.
And try to not look too grumpy.
RADEK
If this doesn't work I'm breaking out the science.
Frezak: I'm gonna offer him the bottle.
Apheori (GM): They're human. These two are an older man and a woman who looks like she could be his mother.
Ganelon: You know that I still look like a chrome statue, right?
Frezak: Shit.
Well I'm a horned giant.
Rhu watches Gravy's attempt to communicate with the communists and is clearly impressed.
Apheori (GM): The man accepts the bottle, eyes it with slight confusion, but also takes a swig.
Frezak: We'll work.
Ganelon: Fine, fine.
Radek steps out of the car and follows Gravy.
Apheori (GM): The man says something, but you don't understand it.
It seems like a question.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Now that we have his attention, Radek. Do some smart gesture figuring out stuff;
Apheori (GM): The woman watches Radek.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'll get you a stick so you can draw things in the dirt.
Keep an eye out for trouble, guys?
Frezak: DO SOME SMART THINGS NOW
Apheori (GM): Guys in car: You realise the rest of the village is watching out the windows.
Frezak: Because I did not think this through.
Aziraphale keeps an eye out
Ganelon: What do you want me to do, draw pictograms?
Rhu:
rolling 1d20+11 perception check to see if I can spot any potential danger, paying particular attention to the side of the village opposite that where Gravy and Radek are.
(
1
)
+11
=
12
Frezak: That sounds about right.
GORRAM 1's !!!
Apheori (GM): The woman says something as well, and the man looks back, worried. She shrugs.
RHU
You have absolutely no idea whatsoever.
Wen: Can we get Greibel to turn into something that understands them?
Ganelon: Why would you rely on me to communicate with simpletons?!
Frezak: Because intelligence.
To find ways to conery concepts.
Via shitty mediums such as gesturing.
AZIRAPHALE
Guys, if we went back in time, or to another planet, or to another dimension, this might well be a "normal" world as far as these folks are concerned.
including the deformed bird
RHU
Ask them if they know the way to the nearest city?
Apheori (GM): The man tries another greeting.
AZIRAPHALE
just different stages of evolution.
Villager: Enry?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sorry, I'm not familiar with your words, Mr farmer.
Villager: Vosals. Acandorai tir.
Villager gestures around to the village.
RADEK
What do we want from them? We aren't going to get any kind of complex information like this.
Certainly not with a stick.
AZIRAPHALE
Ask them where the city is
RHU
Greibel: can you do a nature check to look for any effects of radiation on the villages?
AZIRAPHALE
gesture tall buildings
shrug
GREIBEL
A stick can be more telling than you might think, man
AZIRAPHALE
point places
Greibel smokes from the bong a little
AZIRAPHALE
that should do it
RHU
Show them the tablet computers I hope we still have?
GREIBEL
Radiation is nature?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well you come here and do gesturings!
Aziraphale exits the car and goes forth
Aziraphale gestures as described
GREIBEL
Okay, well
Check for radiation!
rolling 1d20+11
(
19
)
+11
=
30
Apheori (GM): The woman glares at Azir.
Frezak: You have Geiger eyeballs.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Sure, you detect some low levels of something or other.
Like it's faded and almost gone, never really was a whole lot.
Greibel tells that to Rhu
GREIBEL
Meh
Wen: could it have been just not thing out of the ordinary?
GREIBEL
Probably bananas
Apheori (GM): The woman starts gesturing and chanting, casting a spell you don't recognise.
Wen: places _do_ have background radiation, even on roundworld
Frezak: MAGIC?
RHU
Hmm. I wonder why the birds seem so much worse affected than the people?
Aziraphale makes a gesture for keeping evil away
Apheori (GM): MAgic.
Gaurav: WOAH. Who has the best arcana? Can you figure out what she did?
Mine's a measly +2
AZIRAPHALE
I can shield us with my divine thingy right?
if it's bad
Apheori (GM): A soft light explodes around her and permeates the area, and as it does, a small woman appears next to Greibel.
GREIBEL
Jinkies!
Ganelon: That would be me.
Apheori (GM): The villager woman looks surprised.
Gaurav: Is Greibel still in the car?
Amadi: What time is it?!
Ganelon: Not the woman.
The person with the best Arcana.
Apheori (GM): Amadi is the woman next to Greibel in the car.
You can try to figure out what happened, yes.
Gaurav: Rhu is also in the car.
Rhu jumps in his seat
RHU
(looking at Amadi, surprised) Who's that?
AZIRAPHALE
I think you should try to talk to her. This one at least appears to understand gobblygook
Amadi: Who's who? Who're YOU?
GREIBEL
Who made you?
Amadi: I did!
Did I?
Maybe?
What time is it!
Frezak: I'm gonna stalk over to her and pick her up.
Aziraphale goes back to the car
AZIRAPHALE
do you know these people?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DO YOU LIKE HOLES?
GREIBEL
Are you friendly or unfriendly?
Apheori (GM): The villagers back away.
Wen: Gravy, don't try to impress ladies. 'tis not the time.
>.>
Frezak: Shh.
I have the biggest holes.
Ellemerr: ... Did Gravy just pick up Amadi.
Frezak: Yes.
Apheori (GM): Apparently.
Frezak: Not brutally, but so that they're face to face.
GREIBEL
Ah man, come on...
Amadi: Do I like holes? Do I like holes... hm. Did I fall through a hole? I think I'm friendly until proven otherwise. The holes are neutral.
Frezak: I'll put her down.
AZIRAPHALE
Do you know the people outside?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hmmm.
I have my eye on you.
AZIRAPHALE
Do you recognise a ship-car-thing?
Amadi stumbles a little at being put down and takes some uncertain steps. Then she looks around, trying to take in the whole... rather messy scene.
Villager hails to Amadi, something in his own tongue, but she recognises it.
RHU
(to Amadi) I am Rhu, an avenger serving the great god Hazz'ridan. Where do you come from?
AZIRAPHALE
What did he just say to you?
(To Amadi): Something like "Hail, who speaks our tongue, are you with these demons?"
Amadi ignores the party of lunatics and goes over to the villager, looking up at him. She's not the biggest of ladies.
(To Amadi): And you definitely know the name Hazz'ridan.
Amadi: What time is it?
Frezak: What lunatics?
Ellemerr: Do you have to ask?
Aziraphale stares at Amadi, quite offended
Frezak: I'll look up into the sky.
What times DOES it look like?
Villager responds something short but polite, and nods to her.
Wen: "there are two suns, one of them appears to be setting and the other is rotating around a point"
...knowing Names >.>
(To Amadi): "Evening, but I'm afraid I can't say more specific.
Gaurav: hah
Apheori (GM): Normal sky, evening, some wisps of high clouds.
Amadi: Oh. Really?
Amadi looks at the sky.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Evening time!
Villager: En.
Amadi: Well. Okay!
(To Amadi): "Yes."
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Teatime! or dinner!
Depends if you're British or American.
Amadi: I don't think I know these demons. Are they demons? One of them know Hazz!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
DInner!
DO we have sandwiches left?
The Gravedigger checks his pack for sandwiches.
Villager: Hazz?
Amadi turns away from the villager and looks at Rhu.
Apheori (GM): You have sandwiches and some snacks.
Amadi: Hazz'ridan. You don't know him. Don't worry about it.
RADEK
I'm not a demon.
RHU
Do you mean Hazz'ridan, the great God of Dead Ends? I worship him.
Amadi: I don't think you know him. Do you know him?
Wen: brb
Villager: Azrai tocoma. Ira san?
RHU
he is my guide and my protector.
(To Amadi): "Names differ. Should we?"
(From Amadi): You tell me >.>
Amadi: Guide. Hah. Hah... Good one.
(To Amadi): They know him as Vitoi.
GREIBEL
If you count getting people miserably lost as protection...
RHU
It is in becoming lost that we find ourselves.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
He's not the most hope-filled fellow, that's for sure.
Yeah, that sort of gibberish.
The villagers confer.
Rhu holds his amulet/implement worshipfully.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Stick to holes, I say.
Very simple things.
None of these Zen things.
Apheori (GM): The villager woman seems to recognise the implement.
Amadi turns back to the villager, pondering. "Vitoi, maybe? I mean, if it's evening... it might be?"
Villager: En, Vitoi. Asa cae.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Anyone want a sandwich?
I have a few more bottles of hooch?
(To Amadi): That one.
(To Amadi): I like how he didn't realise those were potions.
Apheori (GM): Alcohol-based, granted.
Oops.
Amadi: I want a sandwitch!
Apheori (GM): Wrong chat.
Amadi runs over to Gravy.
The Gravedigger hands Amadi a sandwich.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Anyone else?
I think I have ... little... cake packet things.
RHU
(to Amadi) Do you also study the ways of the maze?
Ellemerr: What are the sandwitches like?
Villager: A gona?
Frezak: Probably home-made sandwiches. Since I never packed any SHIP sandwiches.
Wen: Who are these people? Where are we?
AZIRAPHALE
err
Who are these people and where are we?
Amadi: Yes, a sandwich. This guy has... he calls them sandwiches.
Frezak: In this future, probably the only sandwiches ever.
Apheori (GM): A few villagers step outside their homes. They're still not sure what's going on, but they seem reassured at least somewhat.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I don't have enough sandwiches for everyone.
Villager: Nana gona vos sacai. Eren iri?
Frezak: In these days when people eat nutrient pastes and pellets and crap.
Amadi takes a big bite of the food-stuff and turn to Rhu, shaking her head. "Ah 'now 'im. 'E's fun."
(To Amadi): They do not call them gona. What are they?
RHU
Fun ... yes, I suppose he is. (beat) I suppose that depends on what you find fun, though.
Wen: is Amadi ignoring my questions on purpose? >.>
Frezak: MOST LIKELY.
Wen: dammit. Rhu, you ask her.
what with your common god and crap.
Amadi chews and swallows and answers the villager, "They speak sorta funny, I guess. They're sandwichy enough. Mmmm..." She takes another bite, bigger this time.
Gaurav: Btw, it being 2:40am here, and me having to be up in five hours to check in to my flight out of India, I'm going to have to start making I-should-leave-soon noises. But I'll stay til 3am at least.
Frezak: Gah!
TIMES >.>
Apheori (GM): Bah.
Wen: timezones suck.
Apheori (GM): EVERYONE KEEP GOING.
Wen: no one knows that more than I do.
Frezak: I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH WITH SANDWICHES.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: Do something crazy!
Ellemerr: Amadi is not ignoring anyone on purpose... right now. But sandwiches might be more interesting. >.>
RHU
Sandwich lady: do you know where we are? My party and I appeared on this planet not an hour ago and we don't know where we are.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We were eaten by a hole.
(From Ellemerr): Do I know where we are? xD
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It was the sky.
Amadi: ... I think there might have been a hole... at some point...
(To Ellemerr): Sort of? I mean, you know the name of the world, and the name of the universe. But you may not know that it's this at the moment, or...
(From Amadi): So in other words, not yet, at the very least.
RHU
We were on Sarathi, and quite frankly a single hole would have been an improvement.
(From Amadi): I'm totally giving Frezak half a convo, ain't I.
Ganelon: Hold on.
How old does Amadi appear to be?
(To Ellemerr): You could proudly announce that this is Arling Tor, where Kyrule reigns king.
(To Ellemerr): You do know the name Sarathi. It shows up everywhere. A planet of holes.
Frezak: Sounds like a kid so far.
Amadi: Sarathi! Yes, there would be holes...
Apheori (GM): She looks adult, but not any particular age.
AZIRAPHALE
You mean this isn't Sarathi?
Gaurav: She referred to Hazz'ridan in a way that suggests that she is pally with gods. She might be one herself.
Amadi: This isn't Sarathi! Less holes.
RADEK
Oh, marvelous.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And the sky isn't giving us looks, either.
RADEK
Where is this, then?
Amadi: This, is... uh...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And no fish.
you noticed that, guys? No fish!
Just a ... mutant bird thing.
RHU
A hole less present is one I am grateful for, except for the carefully engineered holes that my friend The Gravedigger here constructs for us.
Oh man, yes! Zero fish is the right number of fish.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Thanks, Rhu.
I take it back.
You're okay.
DAMMIT.
I should have buried the fish.
Sorry, giant fish.
Amadi looks everything over again, looks hesitant for a bit, then shrugs and announces proudly that "This, my friends - or demons - or whatevers - is Arling Tor!"
Gaurav: Didn't the giant fish vanish of its own accord? Or were there other giant fish I missed?
Frezak: It vanished?
Well if it did then he forgot >.>
Bear Soup Guy: I think we were all just too insane at the time to know whether it was there or not
Apheori (GM): Maybe.
Gaurav: Oh, no, my bad -- from the logs: ""The fish you saw before is now completely rotted, as though it had been sitting out for days, perhaps weeks. There is a horrible, partly dry puddle around it."
Ganelon: Anyone here know what that is?
Gaurav: alas, poor fish.
rolling 1d20+2 history check to see if I know anything about Arling Tor
(
16
)
+2
=
18
GREIBEL
Arling Tor!
Apheori (GM): Arling Tor? Nope.
Gaurav: It's probably one of the lesser Tors.
Frezak: It's a Torlet.
Gaurav: Anybody else want to have a go at remembering what Arling Tor is, or should I ask Amadi?
GREIBEL
(to Amadi) So you guys don't know stuff about space travel and other planets and stuff per chance, do you?
Frezak: I wouldn't bother.
We've been told our history is pointless.
Amadi looks at the villager guy and mutters, "I sort of doubt they're demons. They don't smell very demonic to me. More... dirty."
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's the price to pay for hole science.
Greibel poses proudly at the mention of dirtiness
Frezak: HAH
Villager asks Amadi what they are.
RHU
We have had encounters with fish, my lady.
It was old fish.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Except when it wasn't.
GREIBEL
Older afterwards
Amadi: Planets? Space? Uh. It's... out there, mostly? I'm sorry, there was a hole, I... I think it maybe got stuck in here.
Amadi gestures first at the sky and then bonks her head.
Ganelon: Here's something I should have asked almost immediately. What race(s) are these people?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
A hole in your head?
As a hole expert, that does not sound great.
Villager: They're human, Amadi is an elf, and you look really weird to them.
Frezak: I assumed 'human'.
Villager: Oops.
GREIBEL
Maybe holes work different here
Greibel shrugs
Apheori (GM): THAT.
Frezak: Thanks, villager!
Apheori (GM): SORRY.
Ganelon: Well, I imagine Radek and Gravy would look weird to anyone right now.
Gaurav: hahaha
RADEK
Hold on.
Apheori (GM): Yup.
Frezak: Well, Gravy doesn't look weird to you guys.
RADEK
You don't know anything about space-faring technology. Does *anyone*?
Apheori (GM): Well, they know what he is.
(To Amadi): You know quite a bit, though what you share is up to you. If you even realise you know it.
(To Amadi): Sorry, I'll stop throwing stuff at you now.
Amadi sticks her lip out in a pout. "I didn't say I didn't know things, I said it might be stuck in a hole! I totally know space-travel and technology and stuff."
Apheori (GM): Priestly people! You could try praying for help, you know.
RHU
Sandwich lady: I'm afraid none of us have ever heard of Arling Tor. Can you tell us more? Where is this planet?
(From Amadi): Having stuff thrown is good.
(To Amadi): Okay.
Ganelon: I mean, I look like a 1950's interpretation of space-faring life. Sleek, metallic, and devoid of a realistic propulsion system.
(To Amadi): The planet is in arling tor.
Frezak: Sleek?
Aziraphale says a prayer to Carriya
Frezak: I picture withered old man.
Apheori (GM): Gan: XD
Amadi: Arling Tor is in Arling Tor. Duh,
Gaurav: I don't know that I can pray for help, apart from doing a Religion Check, which is more fore information on a particular god I think. Plus, I fear Hazz'ridan would disapprove of people asking for help. He seems the walk-the-path-of-lifeuntil-you-reach-the-dead-end-alone kind of guy.
Ganelon: Now spray-paint that man chrome, Frezak.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
How do you know these people's languages?
Ganelon: Now it's from the '50s. And space.
Apheori (GM): You can pray for whatever you want.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't suppose it's in a book or something?
Apheori (GM): But... yeah, whether the god will answer is another matter.
Ellemerr: You might have noticed that you understand her as well as they do. She's not actually speaking their language. I think. As far as you can hear.
Amadi shrugs. "I like words."
Frezak: I'm still asking :p
Huh.
Ganelon: http://rookery9.aviary.com.s3.amazonaws.com/12635000/12635454_fd5f_1024x2000.jpg
Like this.
This is what your science person is covered in.
Along with dirt, blood, and maybe some glass shards.
Gaurav: Rhu is also going to hold off on praying since the last three things he wanted -- a spacecraft that worked, a planet that didn't keep vanishing, and fewer fish -- have been given to him, and he doesn't want to push it.
Ellemerr: Fancy
Frezak: HAH
Gaurav: Ellemerr: damn! we should have noticed that
Bear Soup Guy: Radek isn't half as attractive though :P
Ganelon: I don't know what you're talking about. Ladies love the beard.
Ellemerr: Especially since the villagers actually spoke a language and everything... yes you should xD
RHU
Sandwich lady: you ... wouldn't know the way to the nearest city, would you?
Amadi: I would!
RHU
Where are you headed? Can we give you a ride?
GREIBEL
Ooo, is it Sandwich City?
Wen: I pray to Carriya for some direction on what to do next.
Gaurav imagines a "New York, New York" type musical number for Sandwich City
Wen: that's what religion is for? isn't it? so you don't have to be personally responsible for your decision >.>
(okay I'm just being a dick, ignore me)
(To Amadi): Deralon is to the east. Large trading hub, but hit hard by the cataclysm.
Apheori (GM): Wen: Yes.
Ganelon: Religion is mostly to know about religions and perform godly rituals.
Gaurav: In my last D&D game, we got a scroll which conveniently pointed us in the right direction when we got lost. Handy!
Amadi: I am headed to... Midnight, maybe. Or tea-time. I wouldn't mind a ride, I guess. Or company. I've missed company.
Ganelon: Prayer counts as the latter, though it doesn't necessarily do anything.
Apheori (GM): Wen: You get nothing.
Wen: that was snarking about how some christians practice their religion (or buddhists or whatever)
Just as I expected.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Where have you been?
RHU
Is Midnight a city on this planet? I don't think our car is capable of space travel, but maybe you could get a ship to Midnight when we get to the nearest city?
(To Amadi): Heeee.
RADEK
Right now, a way to re-establish communications would be ideal.
Amadi: .... Noooo, midnight is not a city. It's a time. You know time, right? And I've been here and there. Not for a while, though. I think. There was a hole. I remember morning, but it wasn't anything to write home about.
The Gravedigger is confuddled.
Apheori (GM): In the meantime, the villagers seem to have decided you all don't mean harm. Some are still watching, and others go about their business... watching.
Frezak: ALWAYS WATCHING
RHU
I fear our morning has been nothing if not memorable.
AZIRAPHALE
in a bad way.
Apheori (GM): The man who'd tried to greet you goes back to his porch as well.
Aziraphale mutters darkly
Amadi: Oh, can we trade?
Frezak: I'll give him the rest of the bottle and pat him on the back.
Gaurav: Do we have anything else we want to do in this village, or should we jet out for the nearest city? I want to get back into radio contact with headquarters and figure out if we're still getting paid given that we're no longer in the planet we were sent to investigate.
RADEK
Trade what?
Apheori (GM): He gasps for breath as a result of the pat, but takes the bottle.
Amadi: Mornings!
Gaurav: We still have a box of fertilizer to trade with them if anybody's interested in, I dunno, village handicrafts or something.
AZIRAPHALE
The last city we tried to land at didn't get well
RADEK
I'm afraid our morning could be considered damaged goods.
As in, dimensionally damaged.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
It had fish in it.
GREIBEL
Speak for yourselves, dudes
I found a perfectly good bong
THE GRAVEDIGGER
And undead chickens.
AZIRAPHALE
Fair point.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
But it's evening now, Greibel.
GREIBEL
Oh, right
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That's an Evening Bong.
Greibel smiles widely
GREIBEL
It sure is!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
You had paint this morning.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh, say, Amadi, do you know why we saw deformed birds and shiny things and sinkholes some way away from here?
RHU
It is indeed evening, and I'd like to be somewhere with decent food, a clean bed and possibly television before nightfall, hopefully with some news on whether I still get paid or not.
GREIBEL
At least the paint was a cool color
Same as the bong, really
Amadi: Oh, hah. You really are funny, mister. I see why Hazz would like you.
Frezak: I'll take this time to get my shield and shovel back from the car.
RHU
(to Greibel) The cat goddess -- Lokshmi? -- was pretty cool, too. (to Amadi) Do you know of Lokshmi?
(From Amadi): I need info to answer Azir! *flail* Unless you want me to talk gibberish at him, because that's always an option.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah, Lokshmi, groovy chick
Amadi: Oh, sure.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Uh, gods.
Come, Greibel.
Let us search for drugs.
(To Amadi): There was a cataclysm. Bad things. New. Shouldn't be happening, except it has always been happening, but it only started with the blue-eyed gal. Rhi. Sarathi. The world's end, but it already ended and it didn't yet and that is why there are now cats.
(To Amadi): You can use any of that.
GREIBEL
Oh right on!
Greibel tags along
Frezak: THE HUNT FOR DRUG PLANTS BEGINS.
GREIBEL
Hi-ho, hi-ho
(To Amadi): Lokshmi is a demonic kitty.
GREIBEL
It's off to drugs we go
Frezak: I'm an enabler and I don't care.
Gaurav whistles along
Radek sighs deeply.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
~~And all the boys come to my drug yard.~~
Wen mutters
Apheori (GM): o_O
Gaurav: Should we maybe set up camp here, and, I don't know, chat with Amadi late into the night mayhaps?
Amadi chews her lip and turns to Azir. "Well, uh... that would probably be the cataclysm. It keeps happening although it shouldn't and is completely new and it was that gal with the blue eyes who started it all and now there are cats.
Aziraphale mutters too
Bear Soup Guy: XD XD
AZIRAPHALE
Gal with blue eyes?
cats?
Lokshimi?
she's behind this?
Wen: lokshmi? lokshimi?
Amadi: Yes. Uhm, no. I dunno. Cataclysm. 'S real bad.
Frezak: Lokshimi sounds like a fish dish.
(To Ellemerr): Ahahahahah they think Lokshmi is behind it...
Wen: Lokshmi sounds like a malicious goddess
(From Amadi): Does Lokshmi even have blue eyes? O_o
(To Amadi): The blue-eyed gal was Rhi. She's... something else. Keeps appearing out of Sarathis and destroying universes.
(To Amadi): Lokshmi has green eyes, apparently.
RHU
All cats are malicious, wonderfully so.
(From Amadi): I gathered as much, it was more, does they have the faintest reason to suggest Lokshmi. I'm not going to correct them because funs.
(To Amadi): Shiny.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm not a fan, regardless. If she's behind this, look what position she put us in.
Wen: if Guarav needs to go, maybe we should stop? or just have him tag along again?
Gaurav: 3:15am guys. I should go, but next week I should be back in the US, weather and immigration allowing, so I might be able to stay for longer.
DM: I guess now that we have another divine character in the party, I am less immediately important?
Amadi: Honestly, if you were on Sarathi you can't really blame anyone.
Gaurav: Wen: heh, nice timing on that reminder.
Apheori (GM): Gaurav: No, you're both important now.
RADEK
Does that mean you know what happened to the planet?
Gaurav: Gulp.
Amadi: Besides, Lokshmi's eyes -
Amadi falls suddenly and unexplainably asleep.
Amadi snores loudly, once, and then disappears as though she were never there.
AZIRAPHALE
O_O
Frezak: Great.
WAIT FOR MIDNIGHT.
Wen: uhhh, so, do we stop? or keep going?
(From Amadi): Because I should sleep. :P
(To Amadi): Heh.
Rhu looks around slightly panickily to make sure that nothing else is vanishing
Wen: ooh clever. yes. When's midnight?
Frezak: Later?
(From Amadi): And the game should stop to let others sleep.
Frezak: >.>
(To Amadi): Quite.
Wen: /me pokes the DM
Ganelon: ARE we going to stop, or what?
Apheori (GM): We probably should.
RHU
Has the sun moved at all since we got to Arling Tor?
Apheori (GM): This way we're all here to figure out a time.
Gaurav: Yes that is wise
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It went down.
It's now night.
Ellemerr: Well that was fun. Except there are way too many of you people. You're just everywhere. So many.
Ganelon: I am hoping to be busy tomorrow.
So that would be an unsuitable time for me.
Apheori (GM): Gaurave: When next can you?
Wen: I have class before I can do after 4PM UTC on Tue / Thur, after 6:30PM UTC on MWF and pretty much any sane time on weekends.
AZIRAPHALE
err, - "I have class before"
Wen: dammit
Gaurav: I'm going to be flying through to Wednesday evening, but I might be able to do Thursday before evening CT (jet lag allowing) and I can probably do Friday before evening CT.
Saturday through Monday are tricky for me this week, since I have a lot of work to catch up on after the holidays, but once that's over I can commit to a weekly time slot.
sorry. my time slots are always the weirdest.
Bear Soup Guy: I don't have anything planned for this week at the moment, although I'm probably gonna try to do some things around the house and some other odds and ends most of the weekdays
Gaurav: How does this time (1800 GMT) Friday work for everybody?
Frezak: I think Gan is busy on fridays?
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE TOO MANY PEOPLE
Apheori (GM): Wen's classes are problematic, but we could kill off his character in a blaze of horror.
Frezak: I WARNED YOUUUU
Wen: :D
I mean
>.>
Apheori (GM): See?
We could!
Wen: if you're going to do it, find a convenient point
Apheori (GM): Pity, though. I like his character.
Frezak: THE ORACULAR SLUG SPOKE
AND YOU DID NOT LISTEN.
Wen: I can still keep up for a week or two, I think.
Bear Soup Guy: A God brought him to us, maybe a God brings him back later
Ellemerr: This is why I have a poof-in-poof-out character. Who is obsessed with time. It just... fits.
I'll be gone till the month ends, as you know.
Bear Soup Guy: Ah, clever
Wen: or you could just kill me off in the way characters die in H2G2
i.e. cheerful irreverence. Guy died in a mysterious blender accident. It was quite tragic and took two weeks to clean up.
Gaurav: what if it was a self-cleaning blender?
Wen: that might just have been it.
Frezak: SCIENCE
Apheori (GM): So Gan can't do fridays?
Frezak: I'm not sure.
Bear Soup Guy: This Friday is most likely bad for me too
Gaurav: What about Saturday? Not this Saturday, because I'm flying again, but I can make myself free most Saturdays I think.
Wen: the wind. oh man the wind.
Gaurav: most Saturdays -> this month/semester, I mean
Bear Soup Guy: Saturdays if we start sometime around the time we've been starting, I can do
Usually I'm busy during the later hours
Frezak: I can do saturdays.
Wen: likewise, minus some trips to the laundry room.
Apheori (GM): Saturdays work for me.
Frezak: At least this month.
Wen: so saturday next week seems to be fine for everyone? anything before then?
Apheori (GM): Don't suppose we could all do next monday in the meantime...
Bear Soup Guy: Next monday looks fine for me at the moment
Ganelon: Sorry, I stepped out.
Fridays and Sundays, I'm busy with other D&D stuff.
Any other day or time is pretty much okay.
Wen: I could. But starting at 20 or 30 past would make it easier for me to get lunch. Or you could just start playing and I'll tag along and show up when I do.
the latter's probably easier really. Less pressure for me too >.>
so next monday at the same time...?
Apheori (GM): So monday next week, and after that we can try to do saturdays as a regular thing?
Wen: sounds fine to me for now.
Ganelon: Sure.
Bear Soup Guy: Sounds good to me
Gaurav: Any chance we can do Monday after working hours? I feel like it'd be a bad idea to show up late for work on my first working day back in school :-/
Wen: what's working hours for you?
Gaurav: after 5pm MT? I usually keep working after that, but nobody else is in lab so I can slack off for a bit possibly.
Also: how does Tuesday 1800 GMT work for people? Because that's right between two classes for me.
Otherwise, forget it, I'll write down Monday 1800 GMT in my calendar and try my darndest to be there
Wen: I can do that.
Ganelon: If it's tomorrow? Nah.
Frezak: sure
Wen: tuesday 1800 that is
Ganelon: Otherwise, probably.
Gaurav: next week Tuesday
instead of next week Monday
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah I can do that
Gaurav: oooh
Wen: okay, so that?
Gaurav: DM?
Apheori (GM): Works for me.
Wen: well, that, then.
Gaurav: Yay!
Wen: sweet dreams Gaurav.
sorry for keeping you up
Gaurav: So Tuesday 14th January 1800 GMT and then Saturday 18 January recurring
awesome
no no this is fun! this is a good reason to be up late.
and I can sleep on the plane the day after tomorrow
bye everybody! see you next Tuesday!
Bear Soup Guy: Adios!
Ganelon: See ya.
Apheori (GM): Whoo!
Ellemerr: Sweet nightmares, y'all. I really need that sleep too...
Frezak: Hrmph.
</pre>

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