View source for Holes/Session 3

{{holes nav
|css=true
|previous=Holes/Session 2
|raw=1089
|next=Holes/Session 4
}}

<screenplay>
EXT. Sarathi parking lot - night

The Gravedigger is digging a hole in a potted tree, which first involves digging up said tree, then carefully piling the swarm of undead chickens into the hole.

Radek is drawing circles on the ground as part of a ritual to fix Aziraphale's sword; Aziraphale is watching him, but also just very happy to be outside.

Greibel is a moose. Rhu is just sort of standing around, but then starts staring at something in abject horror. ''(rolled 9 reality)''

Greibel stops being a moose with a loud pop and wanders over to watch Radek do shiny circle stuff as well.

There is a loud messy-sounding WHOMP from the other end of the lot.

AZIRAPHALE
(startled)
What was that noise?

Greibel looks toward the WHOMP and shrugs.

Gravy finishes burying the chickens and packs the earth really tight around them before turning and squinting in the direction the sound came from.

GREIBEL
It's okay guys, it was just a WHOMP.

AZIRAPHALE
What kind of WHOMP?

The Gravedigger charges toward the WHOMP. 

Aziraphale walks cautiously after him.

They get to the area and it appears that the sound was something very large and squishy going splat on the pavement. Random globs and hunks and bits of bone are scattered around the mess.

GREIBEL
Hey Gravy, you ever bury globs?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Many globs.
But. If there's something I've learnt, it's that there are always new globs.

GREIBEL
What a nice thought.

The Gravedigger looks at the globs for a moment to try to identify them. ''(rolled 28 perception (natural 20))''

THE GRAVEDIGGER
That used to be a small dragon. There's also...

The Gravedigger rummages through the globs and pulls out something metal.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
THIS.

The Gravedigger holds up a half-digested light fixture.

AZIRAPHALE
Does anyone know if there are supposed to be dragons in this place?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well, that's odd. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?

AZIRAPHALE
I've never seen them, certainly.

GREIBEL
Does it shine groovy colors?

The dragon globs and splatter starts to glow.

The Gravedigger drops the light fixture and scoots back toward Radek.

GREIBEL
This is like the world's most disorganized lava lamp.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
DO dragons normally glow?

Aziraphale mutters something.

RADEK
Dragons?

Aziraphale is really muttering now.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dead glowy dragon here.

Aziraphale mutters some more.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
(loudly)
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING AZI?

GREIBEL
I presume this dragon was owned by Zombie Timothy Leary.

AZIRAPHALE
(still mumbling)
Something something Alesvrie something.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
STOP MUMBLING.

Aziraphale shuffles his feet uncomfortably.

The Gravedigger pokes Aziraphale.

AZIRAPHALE
(finally looking up)
I think I might know where the dragons might have come from.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!

AZIRAPHALE
This is just a shot in the dark... but well, the truth is that I was taking part in an experiment, and then when I left the double insulated lab, everyone was just gone.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
What. Were you mucking about with SCIENCE? Gaaaaah. RADEEEEEK!

RADEK
Don't you even start.

AZIRAPHALE
Not me. My employer was.

RADEK
What was the experiment?

GREIBEL
Lava lamps, I bet.

AZIRAPHALE
Something about summoning creatures from different planes of existence, or possibly just make creatures that existed in different dimensions real? I didn't really understand the details.

RADEK
I don't know what your employers thought they were doing, Aziraphale, but they sound like a bunch of amateurs and this was probably their fault too.

Greibel notices the sky. ''(rolled 8 reality)'' It looks horribly wrong. Like a lava lamp. A hungry lava lamp.

GREIBEL
Woooah. Guys, look at the sky! That's the most dangerous looking light up goo I've ever seen!

The others look up. To them, the sky seems to be the wrong colour, perhaps as though the light is going the wrong direction. And there are cracks. Nothing about it resembles a hungry lava lamp, however. ''(rolled 17 (Gravy), 17 (Radek), and 14 (Azir) reality)''

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well that's queer.

GREIBEL
I quite agree, Horseman.

RHU
It's glowing. Mutating.

AZIRAPHALE
So, dead dragons, half digested light fixtures, the sky having diarrhoea... what's next?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Undead chickens? No, wait, we did that.

RHU
More?

AZIRAPHALE
I sincerely hope not.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Big piles of money?

AZIRAPHALE
That'd be nice.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Sandwiches?

AZIRAPHALE
A ship that works would be nicer. I just want to get the hell out of this place now.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Eventually there won't be any bad things.

AZIRAPHALE
Bad things never run out. It's the way of things.

Aziraphale mutters darkly.

GREIBEL
Nonsense. After the planet has been fully digested and there's nothing left to feel, there will be no bad things.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Yeah, listen to the drugged madman.

RHU
There is a pile of money over here, actually.

Rhu points to a pile of money on the ground behind one of the broken ship-cars.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
What? Money?

The Gravedigger peers in the pointed direction.

Aziraphale approaches the pile of money cautiously and pokes it with his borrowed spade.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Careful with that. It's an antique.

AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can I have my sword back?

RADEK
(handing over the sword)
Of course. You will notice that it is in most excellent shape once again.

AZIRAPHALE
Mucha gracias. Does anyone object if I keep the money? As in, keep it with me.

The Gravedigger shrugs.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm here to bury things.

Greibel shrugs too.

GREIBEL
I'm here to... why am I here anyway?

Radek sighs at Greibel's remark.

AZIRAPHALE
Gravy, thanks for the shovel, you can have it back now.

He hands it back to the Gravedigger.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're welcome.

Aziraphale tries to gather up the money and discovers that it's too much to conveniently carry.

AZIRAPHALE
Okay, what about we split it? Eggs in more than one basket and all that.

GREIBEL
Lucky it didn't get all wet from the dragon globs.

RADEK
Sensible, though I can't see what good it will do us while we're here.

AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's split it anyway.

Aziraphale divides it into rough fifths and they all scoop up their shares, paying more attention to the dead splattered dragon than to the money.

The dragon is still glowing. Like some sort of (al)chemical reaction.

Greibel examines the dragon. ''(rolled 31 nature (natural 20))''

'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): SUPER NATURE.

'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): I AM ONE WITH THE FOREST.

'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): I AM A FLOWER AND THE UNIVERSE AND ALL OF YOU.

Greibel sees the universe glowing in the dragon. It's like... everything, scaled down and splattered, the form of a dreloth pulled apart and inverted.

GREIBEL
It was definitely a pet Dreloth!

RADEK
Why is it glowing?

Greibel takes out a wooden pipe.

GREIBEL
I'm going to find out!

AZIRAPHALE
Um, are we sure this is a good idea?

Greibel puts some goop in the pipe and smokes it.

RHU
I'm pretty sure it isn't.

RADEK
That hasn't stopped him before.

GREIBEL
I've seen the beginning and ending of the universe, I know what I'm doi- WOOOOAHHHH.

RHU
(in amazement)
This is probably why we brought him.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Smoking expertise? I thought we were just the only people that would come here.

RADEK
(shouting)
Does it seem particularly volatile from over there?

GREIBEL
It seems volatily delicious!

The Gravedigger edges away from Greibel in case he explodes. Or melts. Or glows. Or turns into a swarm of pigmy moose.

GREIBEL
Mmmm. Well, it doesn't seem dangerous.

RADEK
Not dangerous? Hah. You just don't know where to look.

Radek approaches and attempts to dig around the splattered dragon corpse. The Gravedigger offers him his second-best shovel, and Radek gathers up some alchemical ingredients (120g worth).

Greibel stands nearby looking all high and pointing vaguely while chuckling.

Rhu notices the light fixture lying on the ground and pockets it.

The Gravedigger pokes one of the busted ships/cars for glowy cells. It falls to pieces like it just sort of disintegrated, leaving behind a pile of spaceship dust.

AZIRAPHALE
Illusions? Or was it concrete before you touched it?

The Gravedigger goes to poke some more ships.

AZIRAPHALE
Wait! Was the concreteness an illusion?

The Gravedigger commences poking. A couple of the other poked ships also fall into dust, a few just dent, and the rest seem quite solid. Quite a few of them have holes through them, some punched, others neatly sliced.

There is also a much larger hole in the ground where, presumably, an entire ship used to be.

GREIBEL
Nice poking, Horseman!

AZIRAPHALE
I suggest we search one of the bigger ships and see what we can find.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
TIME! Some of these have been aged. I DONT WANT TO TURN INTO AN OLD MAN.

RADEK
You could just as easily turn into a simpering child, you know.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
That would be great. I'd have more years left to dig holes.

RADEK
Not for the rest of us.

Radek experiences a sudden epiphany about the Gravedigger's childhood experience. He was likely the king of the sandbox.

AZIRAPHALE
Let's look at the open topped ones first.

They do this and find a spaceboat that's entirely full of peas. There also appear to be some bones in it.

RADEK
(peering inside)
...I used to love peas.

The Gravedigger rises to the task and digs through the peas, unearthing (or perhaps unpeaing) enough bones to form several giant chickens, as well as a large fireball gun and a bucket of purple paint at the bottom of the boat.

GREIBEL
Mercenary artists!

The Gravedigger hands the gun over to Radek. Radek scraps some peas off the display and finds it to be about half-charged.

RADEK
I remember these things. One of the least safe devices ever marketed to children, as I recall.
Well, it was safe enough to the children themselves.

AZIRAPHALE
How many deaths before it was pulled? ...it was pulled, yes?

RHU
Nope.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Dibs.

AZIRAPHALE
...You can have the gun. I'll keep my sword.

Greibel scoffs at the gun.

RADEK
Go ahead. I already have a precision firing instrument.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome!

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): Gravy is the happiest man on the planet.

'''''Apheori (GM)''': Azir: Less deaths than the do-it-yourself vampiric veggie chemistry set.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): THE SQUASH.

RADEK
Mind the property damage, though. Or... well, don't, because it's nobody's property anymore. It's half full.

AZIRAPHALE
Do you think you can try contacting the outside world?

RADEK
Not with any measure of success. Communications are all dead.

AZIRAPHALE
Damn.

Radek instead sits down to try reading some of the video logs they pulled.

The Gravedigger goes back to poking random things to see what turns to dust. One of the things explodes on Gravy, coating him in dust. He runs around in a circle, causing the dust to trail behind him like a cloak. He sneezes.

Greibel is torn between watching the science or watching the ships turn to dust. Then he turns and sees the peas rising off the ground where Gravy left them. They appear to have sprouted fangs. ''(rolled 11 reality)''

GREIBEL
AH FANGED PEAS.

Aziraphale eyes Greibel.

AZIRAPHALE
Are you okay?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, be quiet Greibel. I'M THE KING OF DUST.

GREIBEL
OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY, I'M SUPER HIGH AND THERE ARE FANGED PEAS OVER THERE.

The Gravedigger runs around in circles some more.

GREIBEL
Actually sometimes that would be quite okay.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
DUSSSSST.

GREIBEL
I guess it's not so bad until they attack.

The Gravedigger picks up Greibel and runs around carrying the druid over his head like an airplane.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHOOOO. GREIBEL. WOOOOOOO DUST PLANE.

Maanwhile Radek goes through the footage from the security center. They bring up ordinary mall stuff - day-to-day stuff - up until about a week ago. There seen to be jumps in the recordings, like what was recorded is randomly changing, or there are holes in it, except the lighting doesn't change between them.

AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Gravy is going insane.

RADEK
I don't have a cure for that.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I AM DESTROYER OF SHIPS.

Greibel makes laser gun noises with his mouth.

RADEK
There's something wrong with the footage here. It keeps jumping.

The Gravedigger jumps with Greibel.

AZIRAPHALE
Anything different about what's actually recorded aside from the technical anomalies?

The Gravedigger puts Greibel down and comes over to see what Radek is doing.

Greibel wipes the dust off himself.

Radek toggles the timestamps - they mostly hold up throughout the jumps (though there are a few holes as well). Plants and other decor also seems to change between jumps.

AZIRAPHALE
So there appear to be gaps in action that are not accounted for in time. Odd.

RADEK
No less odd than what we experienced inside the building ourselves.

GREIBEL
Stair fish...

Greibel nods in agreement.

AZIRAPHALE
Might want to skip to the more recent stuff and search back.

RADEK
Certainly.

The recent stuff reveals far stranger as he switches between the cameras. Empty rooms. A floor waving tentacles. Some zombies wandering a corridor. What looks like several solid hours of Aziraphale staring down a floating fish in abject horror.

The Gravedigger goes to look around for another bit of clear dirt.

AZIRAPHALE
Odd. I don't recall myself doing that.

Sunlight that's turned red. Everything is red. Everything is blue. Everything is black. More empty rooms. That girl with the strange eyes walking the halls as though searching for something.

GREIBEL
Hey, I saw her!

More empty rooms. Walls rippling. Holes opening in space. Static. For some reason the light seems wrong in a lot of them - often too red, sometimes too blue. Like the colours shifted.

RADEK
I would be hesitant to say that this was any more or less real than what we did ourselves, but... Well, it should make for a good report if we can ever find a way to send the bloody thing back home.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Find a communications tower? Power it up, ping a sattelite?

AZIRAPHALE
Radek, can you check out footage of the control core and see if there was anyone there before us?

The control core cameras reveal fairly normal activity (though there are jumps here, too) up until it had no activity. Then there is just nothing.

A large fish taking up most of the space.

Nothing.

A group of humans in fashion attire looking lost and confused, eating doughnuts.

Nothing.

AZIRAPHALE
Hmm... That's odd. Is the footage of us accurate?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
I better not have a beetle on my back.

Radek searches some more and finds a segment with them in it. They see the door dent, Aziraphale's sword poke in and get bent out of shape, and then he and Gravy entering the room. None of the others come in. Then they leave almost immediately, looking a bit startled at somthing.

RADEK
Well, that can't be right...

AZIRAPHALE
No, it can't.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
YOU'RE ALL GHOSTS. MAYBE.

GREIBEL
What if you're the ghost?

The footage changes to become very, very confusing, but keeps going. Nobody's quite sure what they're watching after that, but it's still the room, shifted a bit blue. Which is weird, because Radek took what was there at the time, not what was there... after.

AZIRAPHALE
I wonder. With all the wrong footage and colour shifts. Radek, what do you know about dimensions and parallel universes? Might as well throw this out here... If the experiment ''was'' related to what happened...

RADEK
I know that they're best left not tampered with.

GREIBEL
Oh man, this sounds groovy.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You said they were bringing things here from another dimension. The thing is just working backwards. Taking things from here to there. WE'RE GONNA GET TO SEE DRAGONS!

RHU
You've never been to a zoo?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
No?

RHU
I am so sorry.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
They don't let you dig holes in zoos.

RHU
What was the experiment doing? Tampering?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Mucking about with science.

AZIRAPHALE
I'm not sure. I was only supposed to guard the place.. in case anything appeared.

Greibel suddenly develops an intense interest in paint. ''(rolled 8 reality)''

GREIBEL
Horseman, did you keep that can of paint?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's still in the ship.

AZIRAPHALE
Nothing appeared at the time.

RHU
Did the shielding fail? That's what shielding is for, right?

AZIRAPHALE
I wouldn't know. The experiment looked like it went as it should have from the inside. And then when we went outside everyone was just gone. So the guy I was supposed to be helping panicked after we went outside. He mentioned something about inverting reality and placing us in another set of dimensions, and that if it happened it would have destabilized outside of the range, or something.

Greibel goes to the spaceboat with the fanged peas and the paint can.

The Gravedigger follows Greibel.

GREIBEL
Look at that! Isn't that shade of purple just beautiful?

Greibel grabs the can of paint and starts hugging it like it's his favourite ever. ''(rolled 4 reality)''

GREIBEL
I LOVE THIS PAINT. I've never felt this way about paint that wasn't getting me high!

The Gravedigger looks dubiously down at him.

Greibel takes some paint out and splashes it around a bit.

The Gravedigger wanders off to loot some more ship-cars. He finds some random stuff - keys, tools, fertiliser, some snacks, a little figurine of Evisdra Irindri, some tape, a book of riddles, some small computers, and a really shiny cloak.

He puts the cloak around his neck like a poncho. It makes him feel kind of fuzzy.

RADEK
It isn't like I was there, Rhu. Yes, in theory, this is why people apply dimensional shielding before conducting such experiments. And it should be impossible, if they did it right, for something to go wrong outside of the shielded area. Much less... this wrong.

RHU
Maybe the shielding exploded. Maybe... 
(he notices Greibel)
What... is he doing?

Greibel prances about gleefully with the paint can.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Being a stoner.

RADEK
I try to ignore him but it just... never works.

Greibel sits on the asphalt with the paint can overturned on his head, paint dripping down himself. Then he realises he can't actually see or breathe with this on, which is kind of a problem, and pulls it off. ''(rolled 17 reality)'' He's a bit confused as to why he even did that in the first place, but only a little bit.

GREIBEL
(to Gravy)
Heeeey, nice cape, man. Real Vincent Price.

Aziraphale suddenly sees tentacles everywhere. ''(rolled 1 reality)''

AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAAGH. TENTACLES EVERYWHERE.

GREIBEL
Whoa, WHERE? Tentacles are AWESOME.

AZIRAPHALE
EVERYWHERE.

The Gravedigger plods over and puts the shiny cloak over Aziraphale's head.

AZIRAPHALE
Mmmmf mmfff MMUFF.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Shhhhhh. They're gone.

Greibel pats Aziraphale reassuringly on what is probably his shoulder.

GREIBEL
Don't worry bro, just ride it out.

Aziraphale calms down a bit, realising the tentacles aren't actually harming anything even if they are real. He stops struggling.

The Gravedigger pulls off the cloak. Now Aziraphale still sees the tentacles, but realises they're not actually there. ''(rolled 20 reality)'' Greibel seems to be their king.

Then he shakes his head and it all goes back to normal, or as normal as things ever were.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
It's like dealing with children. So, where do we go now? The old lab or try to send a report back?

AZIRAPHALE
I don't want to go back to that building.

Radek is still going through the footage. He finds some logs of the invisible shop that was there but wasn't. The footage from outside shows it missing. The footage inside shows it there, as well as an amusing incident with pigeons.

It's full of fallen leaves.

'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): Now I've solved the mystery of "what Greibel did for like a minute without supervision." My initial hypothesis of "it was something pretty silly" has no doubt been confirmed.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): I think we're learning that our perception means NOTHING.

Radek seems to be about done at this point and gets up.

AZIRAPHALE
Let's go to the comm tower.

Greibel stares absently up at the lava lamp sky. It looks totally awesome.

Aziraphale looks where Greibel is looking, but just sees cracks. They're still there. The light is still wrong. It makes him feel kind of ill.

Aziraphale stops looking and shrugs, leading the way to the building in question. Everyone else follows, but there is unfortunately a large chunk of twisted metal blocking the steps up to the door.

AZIRAPHALE
Radek, would the toy gun be able to blast through that? Well, let's examine it first, I think.

GREIBEL
If we try enough, we probably can walk through it.

Greibel stares at Gravy unsettlingly.

GREIBEL
The universe is changing...

Rhu walks through it.

RHU
Yep.

RADEK
I could make a bomb if it were really necessary.

The Gravedigger tries to walk through as well, but carefully. He finds it solid.

AZIRAPHALE
let's all try?

They do. Greibel makes it through. ''(rolled 9 reality)'' The others do not.

GREIBEL
ARE DRUGS BAD NOW, DUDES?

RADEK
I'm not getting paid enough to fix an entire dimension.

The Gravedigger tries to muscle the block of metal aside, but it's too huge to budge by conventional means. ''(rolled 19 reality)''

Aziraphale tries to talk to it. ''(rolled 2 reality)''

AZIRAPHALE
Hey block of metal, would you kindly move aside so we can pass? ...I have candy!

GREIBEL
That's the spirit, holy brother.

BLOCK OF METAL
Hey, sexy. What kind of candy?

None of the others can hear it, just Aziraphale and possibly Greibel.

AZIRAPHALE
King-sized Snickers.

BLOCK OF METAL
Oooo, you are a babe.

AZIRAPHALE
You can have it if you let us pass!

BLOCK OF METAL
Come on, come through. Enter me, sexy.

AZIRAPHALE
This isn't the first wall that talked to me. I reckon we might as well give this a try.

'''''Frezak''' (Gravy): NO. I WILL MAKE A HOLE IN THIS METAL. I'm gonna blast a crater with my weapon.


'''''Wen''' (Aziraphale): aw.

The Gravedigger picks up Radek and puts him down a bit further away from the block of metal.

Aziraphale walks into the wall chunk thing. As he passes through, it makes strange squelching noises. He feels rather dirty when he comes out the other side, and down a candybar.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Move aside, crazy people! IT'S TIME FOR HOLE SCIENCE.

AZIRAPHALE
Well, let's get out of the way.

The folks on the other side move up the stairs, away from the block of metal.

The Gravedigger levels the gun at the block of meta and shoots a fireball, only to have it go right through and explode on the stairs on the other side, below Greibel and Rhu. ''(rolled 2 reality)''

THE GRAVEDIGGER
SORRY.

GREIBEL
Hey man, that stuff's dangerous. 

The block of metal starts sobbing quietly.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
TOO HOT FOR YOU TO HANDLE, EH? DIDN'T SWALLOW THAT ONE. JUST TAKE IT LIKE A GOOD GIRL.

GREIBEL
Dude, you're talking to a metal wall. And ''I'm'' the crazy one for pouring paint on my head?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Azi talked to it. You didn't call HIM crazy!

GREIBEL
Well Aziraphale is from here. Who knows what they do with metal walls?

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Talk to them, apparently.

GREIBEL
Apparently.

AZIRAPHALE
HEY! I don't normally talk to walls.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
So you SAY.

GREIBEL
I just want to know how the thing with the paint and the lava lamp sky was any more crazy than talking to a wall
The Gravedigger reloads the gun.

RADEK
To be fair, we've come to expect it from you at this point.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You want to try, Radek? I'll let you have a turn.

He passes the gun to Radek.

RADEK
Very well.

Radek shoots the wall, and the fireball goes right through again. ''(rolled 4 reality)'' He hands the weapon back to the Gravedigger.

Aziraphale hears the wall chunk screaming, and shudders slightly

GREIBEL
(to Aziraphale)
It's okay dude, I talk to zombie chickens. I was just giving him a hard time.

Aziraphale relaxes slightly.






Frezak: I'll give that a try?
Athletics?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Frezak: I'll stow my shield for this.
rolling 1D20+8
(
18
)
+8
=
26
Apheori (GM): You climb over the thing.
Leaving Radek behind.
Ganelon: I'll approach the wall.
Frezak: And proposition it.
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk sits there.
RADEK
Stand at attention, barrier! Against my better judgment, I am speaking to you.
Apheori (GM): The wall chunk continues to sit there.
d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Apheori (GM): Your doubt in what you're trying to do remains, and the wall chunk likewise remains stolid.
Frezak: You want me to throw you a rope to help you climb over?
RADEK
You will move out of my way, or otherwise phase to a state of non-solidity at once, or I shall be forced to obliterate you thoroughly.
Frezak: Are you Intimidating a wall?
Radek pokes at the obstruction with the barrel of his rifle.
RHU
Or you could use a rope to climb over.
Ganelon: Yes.
Apheori (GM): Gan: d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
GREIBEL
Show that wall who's boss, Guru-man!
Apheori (GM): SANE MAN.
Ganelon: Still solid, then.
Apheori (GM): The wall starts trembling in fear. You all see it.
Frezak: What.
RADEK
Well?! What will it be? My uninterrupted passage or your righteous destruction?
Apheori (GM): RADEK
d20
Radek:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): The wall is still trembling.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I have rope!
Ganelon: I'll poke it again.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You hear it apologising.
The poke goes through.
Ganelon: Then I'll attempt to pass through.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
COME ON
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Heh.
Heh.
Frezak sighs.
Bear Soup Guy is enjoying this
Frezak: With this many rolls, chances of him getting past like this are pretty slim.
Apheori (GM): His chances were getting better each time. This is how the descent into madness works.
GREIBEL
That actually makes sense
err
OOC
Ganelon: Well, what happens?
Apheori (GM): Anyway, Radek, you walk into the wall. It resists, but you're sick and tired of this and manage to pass through anyway. When you come out the other side, however, you're covered in a strange metlalic film.
RADEK
Fascinating.
Frezak: Delightful.
GREIBEL
Groovy
Ganelon: Unless it's inhibiting my ability to breathe.
Apheori (GM): You realise you can't breathe.
Frezak: That might be an undesirable outcome.
That's bad.
Apheori (GM): Then you realise it doesn't seem to matter?
Frezak: Worse.
Apheori (GM): You feel fine. You feel better than you have in quite awhile, in fact.
Ganelon: Nah, he'd be pretty cool with that. Breathing sucks anyway, just like eating.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
SO are you a robot now?
GREIBEL
He's like the Silver Surfer with a cool beard
RADEK
I haven't the faintest idea.
RHU
Do you feel alright? You look very... shiny.
Frezak: They made him eat his own sausages.
RADEK
Better than alright, I think. But let's not tarry, there's work yet to be done.
Frezak: onwards.
Ganelon: All things considered this is a very acceptable state of affairs.
RHU
The door won't open.
Frezak: graaah
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Oh, whatever.
Rhu tried the door and it wouldn't open.
Frezak: What kind of door is it?
What kind of locK?
Apheori (GM): Slidey door. Glass. Electric lock.
Frezak: Radek?
Finangle,
Ganelon: Messing with electronics then?
Frezak: Anyone have a better idea?
GREIBEL
Or we could break the glass...
Greibel taps the glass with his staff
Rhu hits it with whatever his weapon is.
Apheori (GM): It cracks.
Frezak: Rhu has a Maul.
Apheori (GM): The maul cracked it.
Frezak: great
Apheori (GM): Do something.
Ganelon: Just thinking.
Frezak: Well we go in!
Ganelon: Cracked or shattered?
Greibel pushes it
Ganelon: Because I'm not opposed to at least testing this weird metallic stuff against sharp glass.
Apheori (GM): Cracked.
And now it's more cracked.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah, test your skin suit, guru-man
RADEK
Gladly.
Ganelon: I will slam this window with all the force of a single emaciated old man.
Or glass surface, if you prefer.
Apheori (GM): XD
You slam into it and it partly melts and partly shatters.
Some bits stick to you and melt into the strange metallic film.
Ganelon: He's way to grumpy to show it, but Radek thinks this is really cool.
Alright, I'll climb through if a suitable hole can be made.
GREIBEL
Wicked
Apheori (GM): It's pretty holed now.
Big enough for the others to follow as well.
Frezak: I do so.
Greibel does so
Apheori (GM): You're in a hallway. There's a sign posted that says 'BRUNCH TEUSDAY' and some stairs and an elevator.
GREIBEL
Hey, what day is it?
Frezak: The sign is misspelled?
Ganelon: I was just about to ask.
Greibel Greibel rubs his stomach absently
Apheori (GM): You don't know. The sun disappeared and the stars never came out and now the sky was just glowing weirdly with cracks.
Frezak: Sure, why not.
GREIBEL
Well, let's hope it's Tuesday...
RADEK
We can have brunch without a sign permitting us to.
Well, you can. I'll do without.
Frezak: Stairs going up?
Apheori (GM): Up and down.
Frezak: I go up.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Frezak: MADNESS
5
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): Gravy and Rhu hear strange noises and what might be voices as you enter the stairwell.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I hear noises.
RHU
Voices?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe.
RADEK
I don't.
RHU
Rattling, creaking, scraping...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Awesome.
Let's keep going.
AZIRAPHALE
I hear nothing.
GREIBEL
I always hear things
But no more than usual
Apheori (GM): You climb a lot.
Frezak: okay.
Apheori (GM): Azir and Rhu fall behind because it's pretty exhausting.
Absolutely nothing weird happens.
Wen: They don't wait for us? The bastards.
Apheori (GM): Eh, you're not that far behind.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I assume it would be normal for me to be falling behind too.
Apheori (GM): It probably would be normal, but you're not.
Frezak: I'm the apex of physical prowess.
Apheori (GM): You and Greibel both.
...somehow.
Well, aside from the strength.
Frezak: Smoking is apparently great.
Apheori (GM): But nevermind that.
Bear Soup Guy: It sure is
Ganelon: Greibel's a pretty tough guy, actually.
He's the second most durable in the party, if not the best armored (that would be Azi)
Frezak: I KEEP WALKING.
Apheori (GM): So you guys probably slow down for the others?
Okay, he doesn't.
Wen: I have a feeling that the DM is going to drag me out and shoot me or something by deliberately leaving me with an NPC
>.>
Aziraphale walks more quickly
Apheori (GM): Eh, the NPC is supposed to be a PC; the player just isn't here.
Ganelon: In this crazy place?
Apheori (GM): But you can never count on anything.
Ganelon: If you need to be removed, it wouldn't be unexpected for you to just disappear.
Apheori (GM): Dude, that shouldn't be unexpected regardless.
Ganelon: Hyper-dimensional manhole.
Bear Soup Guy: YOU'VE REACHED THE MANHOLE
Oh sorry
Apheori (GM): Fortunately you have not encountered any maholes.
Yes.
Yet.
Ganelon: I wouldn't trust one to be stable for an instant.
Apheori (GM): Okay, so you all keep climbing. Rhu gets left a bit behind.
Manholes are never stable.
This is why they stay in the ground.
Everyone roll a d20
Frezak: MADNESS
16
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
4
)
=
4
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Wen: BSG!
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Frezak: great
Wen: crap.
Apheori (GM): Rhu collapses.
AZIRAPHALE
Hey, stop! Rhu collapsed!
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Well? Pick him up!
Apheori (GM): Greibel turns into bats and flaps up to a door, hits it, and bounces off.
GREIBEL
Oik!
AZIRAPHALE
I think we'd better take a rest.
Frezak: Blaaargh.
AZIRAPHALE
Greibel doesn't look too good either.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
There is something very important there and you MUST get to it.
Greibel continues trying to fly at the door
Apheori (GM): Having a wildshaping crazy person is awesome.
Wen: Typical. If someone rolls a 1, bad things happen. 19? Nope, nothing, nothing at all. It's just like life.
Gotta get lucky to live normally, but a bit of rotten luck can get you down
/nick Marvin >.>
Frezak: I grab the swarm.
Apheori (GM): Make a grabby thing.
Frezak:
rolling 1D20+4
(
18
)
+4
=
22
Vs... AC or reflex? I forget.
Ganelon: Reflex.
Apheori (GM): Do swarms get extra anything? For being swarms.
Frezak: Nope.
4E is weird that way.
Ganelon: Strangely, not against grabs.
Apheori (GM): Great. You now have a swarm of bats.
Did anyone get Rhu?
AZIRAPHALE
Can we get him to turn back?
Frezak: I drag the swarm of bats up the stairs.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm dragging him
Apheori (GM): Okay.
You're almost to the floor with the important things.
Frezak: great.
Apheori (GM): The bats seriously struggle as you pull them away from that door.
Frezak: I seriously pull.
Opposed strength checks?
Apheori (GM): Oh, you win.
But they like that door a lot.
Frezak: Well, tough.
AZIRAPHALE
Maybe we should check out that door?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because the drug-crazed shapeshifter is always so useful.
Always pointing out useful things.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, why else did you bring him?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Not my choice.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
d20
Ganelon: Poor Greibel. Nobody ever believes him.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Apheori (GM): Okay, nothing changes with them.
Greibel flaps around
Apheori (GM): Gravy: d20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
MADNESS
18
Apheori (GM): You make it to the door you want and spill out into the corridor.
There are streaks of mostly dried blood on the floor, like someone was dragging something bloody through.
Frezak: great
Apheori (GM): Nondescript doors line the corridor. The blood leads past them.
Aziraphale follows the blood
Apheori (GM): Azir: You realise there are footprints in it, probably from the dragger struggling with it. They appear to be hooflike.
Ganelon: I don't object to this course of action.
Apheori (GM): everyone but Azir: d20
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
11
)
=
11
Frezak: MADNESS
10
AZIRAPHALE
guys, look, there are hoofprints in the blood.
Apheori (GM): Rhu recovers and gets up.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
RHU
This feels like a dead end.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
17
)
=
17
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You calm down and forget whatever had you so agitated.
AZIRAPHALE
Still batty though?
Bear Soup Guy: Am I bats?
Frezak: Fells like a dead end to Rhu, looks like what to the rest of us?
Apheori (GM): You're still bats unless you stop being bats.
The rest of you don't feel anything in particular about it, though it's pretty messy.
Bear Soup Guy: I stop being bats
Ganelon: Can I even get messy at this point?
Apheori (GM): Gravy winds up with an armful of stoned druid.
Wen: where does the blood lead?
Apheori (GM): Gan: You don't know.
Ganelon: Well then.
Apheori (GM): Azir follows the blood to a door around the corner. The locking mechanism seems to be busted in, but the door is shut.
Aziraphale cautiously attempts to turn the handle
Apheori (GM): Azir reaches for the handle, and the door opens at the pressure. Not even latched.
Inside, there is blood everywhere - covering the floor, across the chairs, and seeping into the walls and monitors.
AZIRAPHALE
Eugh.
Apheori (GM): You realise this was probably the room you were after, too.
GREIBEL
Like I always say
Apheori (GM): There's some equipment inside that looks similarly busted to the locking mechanism, and similarly drenched in blood to everything else.
GREIBEL
The room covered in blood is probably where some interesting stuff happened
RHU
Hazz'ridan.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Huh.
GREIBEL
Come again?
RHU
A dead end.
GREIBEL
Well...
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Some things might still work.
Apheori (GM): SANITY EVERYONE.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
19
Apheori (GM): Lots of blood, horrible smell, very awful.
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: Oh bugger
Frezak: graah
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
...
Apheori (GM): Greibel disappears.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
AZIRAPHALE
GREIBELLLLL
Apheori (GM): Rhu and Azir feel the room seems to... slide.
Aziraphale backs out of the room
Apheori (GM): Everything flickers for a bit, like reality ain't quite sure what it's doing.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Sorry, late.
Apheori (GM): Radek feels the same thing, and falls over, landing in the blood.
Ganelon: Bwuh.
Apheori (GM): Some of it is absorbed into the shiny suit.
Frezak: Gravy will leave the room and sit down with his head in his hands.
Ganelon: At this rate, my shiny suit will surely be ruined.
Apheori (GM): Rhu backs away and runs into Gravy.
Ganelon: Am I still conscious and in control of my actions?
Apheori (GM): Yeah. You just fell over.
Ganelon: I suppose I'll stand up and look around, then.
Apheori (GM): There's less blood now.
Not a whole lot to see, though. Busted equipment. Blood on everything.
You might be able to get parts, but they'd be bloody parts.
The blood also doesn't smell quite right. You're not sure what kind it is.
Ganelon: I don't have an easy way to clean stuff other than people, strangely.
Guess I'll just walk outside.
Unless there's a roll I can do to identify this blood.
Wen: I think aside from Greibel all of us are outside.
Ganelon: That doesn't seem like something Radek would be good at, though.
Apheori (GM): Everyone is in the hall. Greibel is gone. You can identify the blood from outside.
That's true.
Greibel might have been the best bet with his nature and crap, though maybe not.
(From Aziraphale): can I disappear for 10-15 minutes or so? Or is there a plot element involving me coming up?
RADEK
I don't think we have much hope of fixing this equipment.
AZIRAPHALE
Hmm. How are we going to look for Greibel?
(To Wen): Best have you around, though. Perhaps we should all just break for a bit? I could use some lunch.
(From Aziraphale): either way. Your call.
Apheori (GM): Let's take a break. Wen needs to do something and I need lunch.
RADEK
I wish I could say it were possible to put a trace on him, but...
RHU
But?
RADEK
Well, would you really expect it to be reliable?
RHU
Bah!
This place!
It pleases Hazz'ridan, I'm sure.
Ganelon: Actually, radios. Still unusable?
Apheori (GM): Good question.
LUNCH FIRST.
Apheori (GM) runs away.
Ganelon: Sure.
Apheori (GM): Wen: DO YOUR THING.
Bear Soup Guy: Bow chicka bow wow
Wen twiddles his thumbs
Apheori (GM): Okay, back.
Peeling shrimp and cleaning cilantro, these things can't be rushed. I know this because I tried. >.<
Wen: sounds exotic
Apheori (GM): If by exotic, you mean what I have every day when I'm too lazy to do anything else, then yes.
Okay, so is everyone else still here?
Gan was going to try radios...
Ganelon: I'm here.
Bear Soup Guy: Right-o
Wen: Frezak?
Apheori (GM): I guess the Gravedigger dozed off.
Ganelon: I'm sure Frezak will be back.
Apheori (GM): Aye.
So radios?
Frezak: Well, radios?
I'm not trying mine, since all mine did was scream at me.
Ganelon: Radios.
Aziraphale checks his
Wen: keep in mind mine's probably local, not spaceship stuff.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
Ganelon: Let's see if anyone can get a hold of Houdini here.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Wen: ...
Apheori (GM): Azir hears a suggestive voice come out of his and try to chat him up.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Frezak: probability would dictate that half the party is going to be useless at any given moment.
Wen: I resolutely ignore it and stuff the thing back in my pocket.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Ganelon: I'll try mine.
Apheori (GM): d20
Ganelon: Perhaps it will whisper unknowable secrets to me.
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Apheori (GM): It turns on and complains about the low signal strength.
Bear Soup Guy: Bloody service providers
Apheori (GM): It locates the others in range - Rhu's and Gravy's, as well as another that identifies as 'Sexy'.
Wen: what about Greibel's?
Apheori (GM): It doesn't find it.
AZIRAPHALE
Well, this isn't very helpful.
(To Greibel): So I guess you're probably having an adventure somewhere weird while all of this is going on.
AZIRAPHALE
How are we going to look for Greibel?
Bear Soup Guy: http://data2.whicdn.com/images/69136546/large.jpg
RADEK
Last time, we had a network of security cameras.
RHU
What's the local signal range?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
eh, we can just leave.
he'll come around eventually.
Ganelon: What IS the local signal range?
Enough to cover this building, I'm sure.
Apheori (GM): You check and find it should cover most of the city.
Frezak: Not that any of the dimensions mean anything at all here.
AZIRAPHALE
So Greibel's just gone.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Or not.
Space and time here are a bloody mess.
Nothing means anything.
Wen: try dialing 911? >.> would that work?
Radek scoffs. "Literally bloody, in this case."
Wen: (or the Srathi equivalent)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Ho. Ho. Ho.
Apheori (GM): There's noone to call. You would have tried when you first found everyone gone.
Wen: well, my radio wasn't working.
but okay.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
We're not gonna get anywhere like this.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Well, whatever. There's nothing in range. >.<
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going back down. Maybe find a ship or something that works.
AZIRAPHALE
Nothing in this building that would connect outside?
RADEK
Nothing that hasn't been destroyed.
You want to spend a few weeks here cleaning the place up while I do repairs, be my guest.
We'll all lose our minds first.
AZIRAPHALE
Fair enough.
Let's go then.
Ganelon: I consent to this "going."
Frezak: Clomp, clomp, clomp.
AZIRAPHALE
(poor Greibel)
Wen: so do we make it outside minus Greibel?
Apheori (GM): Roll d20s.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Bah, he's stoned. Have you seen him WITHOUT a grin on his face?
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
18
)
=
18
Ganelon: SUPER SANE
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
THE GRAVEDIGGER
12
Apheori (GM): You all find another exit out the other side of the building. Do you take it, or continue back down to the exit with the chunk of metal on the stairs?
Frezak: Does this other exit appear obstructed at all?
Apheori (GM): Naw. Seems to lead into something of a park, with random other buildings and towers all around.
Frezak: Sure?
Guys?
Ganelon: Sure.
AZIRAPHALE
Yeah, why not
so long as it doesn't try to talk to me
Aziraphale shudders
Ganelon: Poor paladin, ever assaulted by temptations.
From inanimate objects.
Apheori (GM): And Radek starts glowing.
At least Azir thinks he does.
RADEK
Hm.
Ganelon: Oh. He doesn't notice?
Apheori (GM): Radek probably notices something, but not the glow itself.
AZIRAPHALE
Er, Radek, are you alright?
RADEK
I feel fine.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
His skin is made of metal and glass and blood.
Of course he's fine.
AZIRAPHALE
well, only he's glowing
that or I'm going insane, or both
Probably both.
RADEK
With any luck, it'll stay like this long enough for me to study it.
...Marvelous substance.
Apheori (GM): You all hear a loud crack from one of the trees in the park.
Greibel and a branch fall out.
Frezak: Great.
We find a stoner.
GREIBEL
Ow!
Wen: is he in humanoid shape?
Frezak: How else would we recognise him?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Hey, Greibel.
GREIBEL
What happened, man?
RADEK
You disappeared again.
GREIBEL
Oh yeah
it was so peaceful...
I was in a field of nature.
And I became one with the nature.
The sun and the birds and the trees and the plants.
Much better than this place.
RADEK
Welcome back to reality.
GREIBEL
But this was reality too!
RADEK
Well, your job is to stay in this shitty one along with the rest of us.
At least physically, if it can be helped.
GREIBEL
Okay, guru man. But did you ever think the blissful utopia reality might have something to do with the shitty reality that disappeared me to it?
RHU
And how did you wind up over here?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
magic.
RHU
Of all the places. Pretty specific.
(To Bear Soup Guy): You may notice this tree looks suspiciously similar to the one you were under before, though a bit less healthy.
RADEK
How am I supposed to know which reality is causing problems for the others?
GREIBEL
Hey man, I was sitting under this tree.
For...ever, it feels like
Must've been forever. It's looking a little weathered.
RADEK
The paladin here says he was part of an experiment, but for all we know, this could have been someone else's fault entirely.
GREIBEL
Poor little guy, we had a lot of good times in that other reality
AZIRAPHALE
So what do we do?
RHU
Pray for a dead end.
RADEK
I'd rather a solution.
AZIRAPHALE
Why do you keep mentioning dead ends?
Ganelon: Ha. Chemistry joke
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Because he's a zealot for a god that loves dead ends.
RHU
Hazz'ridan is the lord of, above all other things, dead ends. When there is nothing else left, there is always a dead end.
GREIBEL
Not the weirdest God I've heard of...
AZIRAPHALE
Well, it does look like we have a dead end in so far that we're stuck
maybe your god can help us?
RHU
I'm afraid he's more in the business of creating dead ends than getting folks out of them.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Don't see why we'd ask for we already have.
RHU
There's still hope. Hazz'ridan could help to take away the hope so we can simply give in.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
That sounds just great.
RHU
It does?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Let's pray so that we can mope.
Because that's gonna help SO MUCH.
RHU
Yes! It will.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
I'm going to go look for a boat.
(From Aziraphale): My god is called Carriya, yes? I lost the link >.>
GREIBEL
Hey, I remember boats
(From Aziraphale): law, order and process.. I think?
(To Wen): Yeah.
(From Aziraphale): okay.
Aziraphale looks at the sky
(To Wen): You also probably consider Hazz'ridan to be a bit of a joke.
(From Aziraphale): I'm sure they are.
Apheori (GM): Azir: d20
(To Wen): Yes.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Wen: >.<
Apheori (GM): Gravedigger: The borders of the park have car-ship thingies docked at them.
Ganelon: We need to put on blinders.
Apheori (GM): They look fairly intact.
Frezak: I'll check to see if any have keys in and/or seem intact after prodding and examination.
GREIBEL
Hey, can I poke a dust car this time?
Apheori (GM): Azir: You see the sky glowing with that same eiery glow, full of cracks, a large hole growing out of them.
Azir: As you watch, the hole widens, then entirely opens, revealing an enormous eye.
AZIRAPHALE
AAAAAGH.
Apheori (GM): Azir: It stares directly at you.
At, and possibly through.
Aziraphale averts his eyes
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Gravy: d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
13
)
=
13
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You poke a car and it doesn't turn to dust. It also seems to have the keys lying on the front seat.
Greibel is disappointed but will accept this positive turn of fate
Ganelon: Oh, neat.
Frezak: 3
Apheori (GM): Rhu is just staring at the sky in horrow.
Gravy, fortunately for him, isn't looking at that. Yay Gravy.
Also Gravy doesn't find any vehicles that look like they'd work without hotwiring, though they do look functional.
Greibel tries the door of the car thing
Apheori (GM): Door opens, and the roof retracts. It's a fairly nice convertible thing.
Greibel tries to start it
Ganelon: I'll head over and check this functioning vehicle out.
Apheori (GM): It asks for a password.
Gan: d20
Frezak: Swordfish.
Greibel smacks the steering wheel/column/joystick/whatever in frustration
Apheori (GM): It accepts the smack as the password.
GREIBEL
Nice!
I'm so gonna paint this thing tie-dye
I found a thing guys!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Frezak: I'll head over and look.
Apheori (GM): Radek looks up at the sky and just sees the same sky as before.
RADEK
Do you know how to drive? Actually, no, forget I asked. I'm not putting my life in your hands regardless.
Apheori (GM): Weird and kind of sickening, but not staring.
GREIBEL
d20
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Ganelon: Preferable to staring, certainly.
Rhu recovers and joins the others at the ship-car-thing.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You notice the sky.
It's HORRIBLE.
GREIBEL
Radek take the wheel
OH GOD WHAT AH SKY
THIS IS A BAD TRIP, MAN
AZIRAPHALE
Yes, yes, take it easy now.
Radek, does the ship work?
RHU
It's just staring.
Greibel huddles into a ball in the back of the car thing
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Maybe the person that's not screaming or falling over should drive?
Greibel shivers in terror
Ganelon: Let's try it out.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
d20
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
18
)
=
18
Apheori (GM): RADEK
d20
Ganelon: Do the controls work?
rolling 1d20
(
2
)
=
2
Damn.
Apheori (GM): The controls refuse to cooperate.
AZIRAPHALE
Does the radio work?
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
The sense that the sky is horrible and is going to eat you and etc fades.
It still looks horrible, but you just don't look at it.
Greibel calms a bit
GREIBEL
Hey Radek, try hitting it!
Ganelon: Sure, I'll try hitting it.
Apheori (GM): You hit it. Nothing really changes, but you wonder if maybe you just botched it at first?
Ganelon: May I try again?
Apheori (GM): So Radek and Gravy are in the front, and everyone else is piled on the back, I suppose.
And yeah, you can.
Do it.
Roll.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Alas!
Poor Radek, I knew him well.
Frezak: can i lean over and poke the things?
Apheori (GM): You keep trying and it finally cooperates after a minute or two.
Frezak: oh, good.
Apheori (GM): You can poke all the things if you want.
Frezak: Nah, i'm good now.
AZIRAPHALE
Just don't break it
Bear Soup Guy: heh heh
GREIBEL
Road trip, guys
RADEK
Alright! Destination?
Apheori (GM): WHOO!
Go somewhere!
AZIRAPHALE
wait wait
Frezak: Check out one of the spaceship wrecks.
AZIRAPHALE
does the radio work?
Ganelon: Don't worry guys, I might be an old person behind the wheel, but I'm at least reasonably sane and not on drugs!
Frezak: Ideally the one that's not at the bottom of the sea.
THat you know of, Gan.
RHU
No, you're just part robot.
GREIBEL
Tune in some jams!
Ganelon: That I know of!
And sure, I'll mess with the radio.
Not expecting much of a broadcast.
Just more madness.
Apheori (GM): The radio buzzes and picks up some automated transmissions.
AZIRAPHALE
I meant like, for communication. Not music.
Or does this ship not have that?
Apheori (GM): Most of them are music, some are numbers, and there's this one number that's transmitting these weird clicking noises...
AZIRAPHALE
eee.
RADEK
Doesn't sound like anyone's broadcasting /news/.
Frezak: LIke a giant bug monster or a Geiger counter?
Apheori (GM): The latter.
Frezak: Awesome.
Just. Great.
Wen: what's the range of this thing?
Apheori (GM): Should be able to cover the planet given time; the real issue seems to be speed since it's an open-top.
Ganelon: I think he meant the radio.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
Who knows.
Ganelon: But hell if I know that answer.
AZIRAPHALE
I meant the ship. But sure, the radio too.
Oh.
Apheori (GM): Unless any of you specialise in leisure boats.
Frezak: So, wreck?
RHU
The sky...
Ganelon: Can't say I do.
AZIRAPHALE
Sure.
Ganelon: Wreck sounds good unless someone else has a suggestion.
RADEK
Yes, Rhu, it's been acting up all day.
RHU
It's watching.
Radek makes rude gestures at the sky.
Apheori (GM): RADEK
d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Apheori (GM): The sky opens its eye and stares at you.
It seems it did not approve of your rude gestures. 
Ganelon: Good!
Apheori (GM): XD
Ganelon: Let's get a move on.
Apheori (GM): Heh.
Okay, so you fly the boat down toward the sea.
Do you know which way the wreck was?
Frezak: We can compare on maps.
I'm assuming we made SOME sort of notes about the places we intended to visit.
Ganelon: Well, I as a player do not. It's merely a destination to me.
Apheori (GM): Does your character? >.>
Frezak: I was looking at it on a map a few hours ago.
Apheori (GM): Because if so I'm just inclined to say you go there, have you all roll sanity checks on the way, and move to the destination.
Great. You all go there.
Roll.
Ganelon: He was rather interested in the anomalous growth of power cells.
rolling 1d20
(
3
)
=
3
Frezak: 7
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
4
)
=
4
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
Bear Soup Guy: Gonna be a bumpy ride...
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
15
)
=
15
RHU
Greibel and Radek see another city in the distance on the way.
Apheori (GM): Oops.
Well, anyway, you see it.
Everyone else feels the sky staring at them.
AZIRAPHALE
This sky is really putting a damper on my spirits
Greibel hangs his head out the side of the car like a bemused labrador
RHU
Eyes of the All-seeing, Nightmares and waking...
The ways are blind.
Apheori (GM): RADEK
You wind up flying to the other city instead of the wreckage.
GREIBEL
Hey cheer up man, it's just another couple miles
Apheori (GM): RADEK
You realise this before you actually get there, though.
Ganelon: OLD MAN AT THE WHEEEL
Could we still reach the wreckage in a reasonable amount of time?
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
Ganelon: I'll turn that way, then.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Ganelon: Radek would not remark about this to the others.
Apheori (GM): Everyone roll d20 again.
Heh.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
20
)
=
20
Apheori (GM): Huh.
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Frezak: 17
Apheori (GM): Greibel is now a herd of pygmy moose in the back seat.
Frezak: Wow. What a surprise.
Apheori (GM): Azir is hearing voices, mostly yelling at someone to take out the garbage.
Nobody jumps out of the vehicle.
Wen: Oh good, I thought the seat cushion was going to talk to me.
Apheori (GM): Rhu stares at the sky, not in fear or horror, but now like he's thinking.
So. Wreckage. It's a large heap of twisted metal and stuff, somehow floating.
There are large blobulous things growing off it.
If there are more of them underwater, that may be what's keeping it up, since they look like they're hollow.
Frezak: Any way we can check that they're... volatile?
SHort of throwing crap at them?
Ganelon: Also, do we have a place to land?
Apheori (GM): The vehicle hovers, so you can park it wherever.
Frezak: You could shoot them. Or someone could magic at them.
Gan: They look like the power cells, but now they're a lot bigger. And they've multiplied.
Ganelon: Find an isolated one first. If they explode, I want them.
Frezak: And that is the last resort.
>.>
DO we have no other way?
Can we NAture it?
Ganelon: I could attempt magic at them.
Frezak: To see if it ressembles explosive plants or something?
Apheori (GM): There's one near the edge that's fairly alone.
You hover over it.
Ganelon: Let's go for magic first. You've said pretty much everything is magical of some sort before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Do a magic!
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+10
(
13
)
+10
=
23
Apheori (GM): And what exactly were you doing?
Ganelon: Trying to see what's happened to them.
Apheori (GM): Right, but how, I mean. What kind of magic did you use?
TEEEELL ME ALL.
Also the sky is still staring at you.
Ganelon: Well, I'm not attacking it.
Apheori (GM): >.>
Ganelon: I'll shoot the sky later.
I don't know what you mean by "kind of magic", though.
Apheori (GM): You discern that they are alive, but not like things are supposed to be alive. They're growing and mutating and not very hungry and actually quite happy.
Ganelon: It's arcane magic with a structured and technical bias.
Is each glob a separate entity?
As in, could one be separated?
From... itself.
Apheori (GM): They seem to be, though they're also connected. Even if you took one away, the others would still... be... well, you're not quite sure.
Everyone: Blobbulous things glow at you.
Ganelon: I'm thinking more like cutting a piece off of one.
Apheori (GM): These, I mean.
You could try.
You don't know what would happen, or if it'd even notice.
Aziraphale stares
RADEK
Anyone have a knife?
AZIRAPHALE
I have a sword
that work?
RADEK
Well enough.
Apheori (GM): Azir: You have knives.
Give him a knife.
AZIRAPHALE
Oh, I do?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Aziraphale hands Radek a knife
Ganelon: Alright, let's bottle up some living power cell... flesh.
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
5
)
=
5
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Frezak: 7
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): Flock of moose. Roll.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
14
)
=
14
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You're a happy flock of moose.
GREIBEL
:D
Apheori (GM): Rhu pets the flock of moose.
RADEK
The entities start pulsating.
Ganelon: Uh oh.
Before or after I've cut into one?
Apheori (GM): You haven't cut yet.
You were about to, and then this happened.
Ganelon: Do these things still contain power?
Apheori (GM): Well, they're glowing.
So they probably contain at least some.
Ganelon: I don't know about future fuel cells, but all fuel is fundamentally a compressed power source.
Apheori (GM): They've been growing, though, so who knows what that means.
Ganelon: And I'd rather they not explode.
Apheori (GM): Hee.
Ganelon: So I'll steer us away.
Not too far that I can't observe.
RHU
Weren't you going to get a sample?
RADEK
They started moving.
These things used to be power cells. I'm not taking my chances.
Apheori (GM): Gravy, Azir: You saw no moving.
Just so you know.
Greibel nuzzles everyone
Apheori (GM): Oh gods I love the swarms.
This is awesome.
AZIRAPHALE
I'm getting sick and tired of seeing things others don't see and not seeing things others do see
Aziraphale sulks
Rhu puts a moose on Azir's lap.
RADEK
Well, watch closely. I'm taking a shot.
Ganelon: Rifle time.
Aziraphale watches attentively
Apheori (GM): Which do you want to shoot?
Ganelon: The one we were near.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Greibel nuzzles Radek's arm
Ganelon: Shall I roll it?
Apheori (GM): Do it.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You roll too.
Ganelon: Hmph.
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Apheori (GM): RADEK
You missed.
On the plus side they quit moving.
Ganelon: Reload and try again.
[Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
4
)
+3+5+0
=
12
Wow, it couldn't even be lower?
Apheori (GM): It could if you try again.
RADEK
Hmph.
Ganelon: [Weapon Attack - Rifle]
rolling 1d20+3+5+0
(
9
)
+3+5+0
=
17
RADEK
I need to tune this thing.
Apheori (GM): You hit the glowing mutated power cell and it just sort of deflates.
Ganelon: Still glowing?
Greibel squeels with delight
Apheori (GM): Then the others are getting brighter and brighter, pulling the light out of the air around.
Frezak: Bags of magic.
Apheori (GM): The air shifts and tastes odd, and then there is a shimmering in the space around them, a horrible ripping once more, voices calling out, sunlight, stars, and fish.
The eye in the sky is still staring down.
RADEK
Interesting reaction.
Apheori (GM): The the wreckage and surrounding ocean are gone, torn away, leaving behind only an emptiness in their place.
An emptiness that is pulling your vehicle toward it as well.
Ganelon: WELP NO TIME FOR SCIENCE
RUNNING TIME NOW
Apheori (GM): Everyone: d20
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
10
)
=
10
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
12
)
=
12
Rhu:
rolling 1d20
(
1
)
=
1
Bear Soup Guy: BRB DISHES
Frezak: 5
Apheori (GM): Okay, lessee...
Frezak: Gravy is snoozing.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Radek turns the thing around and gets the hell out of there. It makes some funny noises, but you're far enough away that the pull isn't significant once you're actually moving.
But Rhu starts screaming.
Aziraphale covers Rhu with his cloak
Apheori (GM): It doesn't help.
AZIRAPHALE
Fah.
Frezak: I AM THE PIONEER OF THE PSYCHOLOGICAL REMEDY TECHNIQUE.
HIT HIM WITH A SHOVEL.
Ganelon: The haunted look of Azi's token is becoming a lot more relatable each day.
Frezak: yeah, he's a real downer;
Apheori (GM): Azi was here for days. Now you all are feeling it too!
Frezak: i'm not.
Gravy's napping.
Apheori (GM): The screaming didn't wake him?
Frezak: He's thouroughly bored by the whole affair now.
Ganelon: Well, I'm feeling pretty awesome with this metallic skin-coating, really.
Frezak: Ah.
Well now he's probably grumpy at being woken up.
Not perturbed other than by the volume.
Apheori (GM): You stop away from the pull of the... hole that opened up. Rhu is still screaming.
Frezak: Can I lean over and knock him out for a bit?
Apheori (GM): Certainly.
But don't kill him.
Frezak: Just a bop on the head with a shovel.
Apheori (GM): Roll a shovel bopping.
AZIRAPHALE
Is this wise?
Frezak: Roll to bop:
rolling 1D20+6
(
10
)
+6
=
16
Just a light tap.
Bear Soup Guy: BOP ROLL
Also back and caught up
Apheori (GM): You successfully knock him out.
GREIBEL
Roll a d20.
The Gravedigger goes back to his nap.
Apheori (GM): The screaming has stopped, at least.
Bear Soup Guy:
rolling 1d20
(
9
)
=
9
Apheori (GM): You are now a rather agitated flock of pygmy moose. Probably something to do with the screaming.
But you are aware enough that you could stop being moose if you want to.
Greibel runs around a bit
GREIBEL
Okay I'm not moose anymore I guess
It sure was fun being moose though
Also WHAT'S GOING ON AAAAHH
RADEK
I'm just going to take us somewhere else, if none of you have any other ideas.
Apheori (GM): GREIBEL
You see Rhu is unconscious, the Gravedigger is asleep, Radek is in a bad mood, and Azir just looks haunted.
Frezak: Can we eaxamine the ship at all?
Apheori (GM): The one you're in?
Frezak: No, the other one.
Ganelon: It's gone.
Apheori (GM): The one that turned into a horrible hole in space?
Frezak: Oh, right.
>.>
Well, I have no idea.
What to do.
Ganelon: I'll head towards that city my mad self was so intent on visiting before.
Apheori (GM): Right.
Everyone roll a d20.
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20
(
19
)
=
19
Greibel:
rolling 1d20
(
6
)
=
6
Frezak: 13
Aziraphale:
rolling 1d20
(
8
)
=
8
Apheori (GM): Greibel, Azir: You each become entirely convinced the other is insane.
Wen: well, I'd be right.
Apheori (GM): And trying to kill you.
Yes.
Wen: Oh crap.
GREIBEL
O_O
Frezak groans.
Greibel shuffles over to Frezak and tries to wake him up faster
GREIBEL
err, to the gravedigger
THE GRAVEDIGGER
WHAT?
Apheori (GM): Rhu wakes up and starts screaming again.

THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oh, come ON.

Aziraphale hits Rhu with the hilt of his sword.

RADEK
Do I have to pull over for you idiots!?

Apheori (GM): RADEK
Do you just ignore this and go to the city? Because you're almost there.

AZIRAPHALE
Radek, I think Greibel is insane and trying to kill me.

GREIBEL
Gravy you gotta stop that crazy man!

THE GRAVEDIGGER
You're all insane. Now shut up.

GREIBEL
Fair point, but he's MURDEROUS

Apheori (GM): Rhu is still screaming.
Aziraphale hits again
Apheori (GM): Rhu runs out of breath and starts just staring off at nothing instead.

</pre>

{{holes nav
|previous=Holes/Session 2
|next=Holes/Session 4
}}