Holes/Session 47
A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
Apheori (GM): So Radek was talking to the wizardly adventurer, Rhu was being whatever you call it at Dawn, Gravy and Amadi were eating, and Greibel probably buggered off into some corner to smoke. Rhu: (to Dawn) Some kind of success ... maybe. I don't know. How do you even measure "success" when the fates of entire universes are at stake? The Gravedigger: Four kinds! Rhu: That's why you *need* a god, someone who can see broader than you and make sure that you're not just making one piece better by making another much, much worse. Dawn: You eat it. You take it all up, you set it on fire, and you eat it. Hah! Ganelon: Better not be in the "No Toking" section of the bar or he's gonna get dragged off and I'm not defending him to the authorities. Frezak (GM): Booo Gravy would! Dawn: You don't need gods at all. It's the gods that need you, useless leeches that they are. Ganelon: Show me a prison that could hold Greibel and I might start to care. Dawn: They'll lie, trick, and fabricate anything to get you to serve them, and what do you get back? Sushi? Amadi: Sushi! Frezak (GM): It's the principle of the thing! Rhu: EXACTLY! Amadi produces sushi. Apheori (GM): How many corrosive substances do you think he needs? Er, has. Not needs. Ganelon: He can become pigeons. Apheori (GM): ...then again, perhaps he IS a corrosive substance. Bear Soup Guy: Most of his substances probably serve multiple purposes Apheori (GM): And there's that. Rhu: (to Dawn) Right. So. No more gods. Just us. Let's do this thing. Let's save the universe. -Es. Dawn: Exactly! Dawn eats some sushi. Frezak (GM): I once had a character specialised so that he could identify anything by taste. What meat are the sausages? If it's human... NOT EVEN CANNIBALISM Apheori (GM): Cerrissian moose, pigeon, chicken, pig. Where cerrissian moose are like a cross between goats and bears. Except moosey. And the bird one is both birds. And you've got two seasonings for the pig ones. Bear Soup Guy: that sounds delicious Apheori (GM): ...I want sausage. >.< Gaurav: I have sausage! And also germs. Bear Soup Guy: I want Cerrisian moose soup Gaurav: Those pig sausages sound amazing. Apheori (GM): YES. Bear Soup Guy: I need to buy sausage meat this week to make scotch eggs Apheori (GM): GOAT-BEAR-MOOSE SOUP. Bear Soup Guy: mmmmmm Gaurav: Ooo, scotch eggs sound exciting. I must try that sometime. Amadi: Don't eat moose. Bear Soup Guy: they seem to be pretty easy to make and they sound utterly delicious Apheori (GM): They do. If only I had any of the ingredients... Bear Soup Guy: Just add everything I just said about scotch eggs to a conversation Greibel is having with an unsuspecting bar patron who is probably a bit trapped in the conversation Except Greibel probably uses something besides meat for the coating I wonder what you'd use for a vegetarian scotch egg some kind of ground up mushy tofu with seasonings? Apheori (GM): Curried tofu. CURRIED TOFU. BRIGHT YELLOW TURMERICKY CURRIED TOFU. Bear Soup Guy: that sounds lovely Gaurav: If you like falafel, you could mince that up and maybe that'd work. Rhu -- having had his lack of faith in gods restored -- finishes his beer and wanders over to Radek and Gravy to see what they're up to. Bear Soup Guy: I haven't tried falafel but I imagine I'd enjoy it Hmmm Ganelon: You'll see in just a moment what Radek is up to. Apheori (GM): Um, should Rhu's lack of faith have any, erm, mechanical implications? Greibel: The guy looks disgusted. Ganelon: 4E doesn't have rules for losing divine powers. Apheori (GM): Huh. Ganelon: So... your call. Frezak (GM): Gravy is enthusiastically eating pancakes and sausages. Bear Soup Guy: My god, it exists http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/falafel-scotch-eggs Frezak (GM): Presumably a huge portion. Bear Soup Guy: This is my mission for the week Greibel: (to the guy) YOU CAN COAT THE EGG IN FALAFEL IT'S GENIUS Gaurav: Also, he's lost *faith* in the gods. He still believes that Hazz' exists and provides him powers and laughs at him when things suck and stuff. If his being grumpy with Hazz' over the last week of in-game time hasn't caused his powers to stop working, I don't think his new-found certainty that gods are a waste of space is going to make things _worse_. Dawn: (nodding) Gods are a waste of space. Drugs, on the other hand... Innkeeper: NO. NO DRUGS. Innkeeper glares at Rhu. Apheori (GM): Greibel: The guy very, very hesitantly asks you what falafel is. Greibel: CHICKPEAS! Greibel procures a handful of slightly lint-covered chickpeas from his pocket and hoists them at the the guy Rhu: (to Innkeeper) ... what? Greibel: Eh? Eeeeeeeh? Gaurav: Do we still have any fanged peas? Bear Soup Guy: Greibel may have a couple mingling in his pockets still Frezak (GM): I scan the room for Fanged Eggs. The Weasel's Bane. Apheori (GM): Griebel: A couple of the chickpeas sprout fangs and giggle. The porridge leans over, almost like it's eyeing them. Hungrily. At this point the guy flees. No fanged eggs. YET. Frezak (GM): Gravy waves at Greibel. Gaurav: I should confess that I genuinely forgot why the Innkeeper is glaring at Rhu until just now. The Gravedigger: FOUR KINDS Frezak (GM): Rhu was probably just being Rhu. Probably told him his eyes were hairy or something. Innkeeper: You mean to tell me you spent all night bouncing off walls mumbling nonsense and you don't even remember? Dawn: (to Gravy) You should get some for the road. Rhu looks around to see who the Innkeeper is talking to. Rhu: ... me? I just got here. We slept at the guardhouse. Greibel waves at Gravy and walks over to him Greibel offers Gravy some fanged chickpeas The Gravedigger: Inkeep! Sausages for the road! The Gravedigger bangs his fist authoritatively on the table. Innkeeper: When you were here a few days back. You took those pills and then you just... lost it. You really don't remember. Frezak (GM): Gravy takes the chickpeas graciously and just hands them to the nearest midget. Innkeeper: (to Rhu) (yelling toward the kitchen) Joeh, bundle up some sausages for a guy, will you? Apheori (GM): There's some sort of muffled confirmation from the kitchen, and something clangs. Amadi, I think you're the nearest midget. Radek babbles on at his newfound colleague. Radek: You see, something fundamental has been missing from each of these environments, as I have observed from its absence, which destabilizes their underlying transdimensional arcane lattices in such a way as to seem almost undetectable... until certain conditions are met. When a spell is cast in such an environment and its current is misapplied during the seventh alignment - obviously those designs which ignore the seventh are unaffected, though other failed configurations may cause problems depending on the severity of the destabilization - holes in /reality itself/ are opened by the escaping energy, connecting the affected dimensions in undesirable and often destructive ways. Now, I have managed to synthesize a functional equivalent to this "reality" which, applied correctly, can undo the damage, but so far this is scarcely more than treating the symptoms rather than the disease, as it were. If a solution cannot be found, I have reason to believe these destabilizations will only worsen, potentially until even spellcraft performed safely and /correctly/ will risk causing damage of this nature. Ganelon: There you go, guys. Apheori (GM): Oooo. Gaurav: o.0 Apheori (GM): Roll arcana so I have an idea what his DC should be, please. Radek: rolling 1d20+16 Arcana ( 19 ) +16 = 35 ...What do you think? Ganelon: HA HA HA HA HA Apheori (GM): Oooo. 27... he understands. You well-explainy-person. Lessee... Bear Soup Guy: Groovy Apheori (GM): ...now do I understand? Ganelon: Let me make it simple for you. Go look at my journal page. "Regarding Gravy talking about planar dissonance" Apheori (GM): Naw, I just need to add paragraphing somewhere with a better font. >.> I have text block issues, probably a defense mechanism developed due to dealing with wikipedians. Amadi stuffs some of the chickpeas into her pockets and sticks the remaining two onto her index fingers and have a puppet theatre with them. Rhu is rambling something about George and the Wizard's Tower and the cave and blindness, but you can see in his eyes that he's piecing things together. Apheori (GM): Rhu: Could you actually ramble it, by any chance? Frezak (GM): All I can see in Rhu's eyes are vengeful bees. Ganelon: Yes, ramble it. Just like me. Wizardly adventurer: Missing... Gaurav rolls eyes. Ganelon: Also, is he rambling it at us wizardly folk? Gaurav: Nope, just at the innkeeper. Ganelon: Ah, okay. The Gravedigger nods sagely. The Gravedigger: Four kinds. Frezak (GM): Oh, you know Leomund's Chest? Ganelon: I do now. Frezak (GM): Hmm. Ganelon: It was a recent addition. Rhu: Nah, you've got me confused with someone else. Definitely. We haven't been here since before I -- there was the blindness thing, and that ... so ... but before that ... George, right, and ... but that was ... back then ... ... that was just sandwiches. The Gravedigger: We need to find whoever made the magic here. Rhu narrows his eyes at the innkeeper. The Gravedigger: Midgets? Rhu: When EXACTLY was this? The Gravedigger: Who makes magic? Wizardly adventurer: Planar environements can't support that. Either they are there or there not; trying to patch them with either external or internal measures would result in a corruption in the magic same as the underlying destabilisation itself. If what you're saying is true, the entire thing could fall apart at any moment...? Apheori (GM): I need to go count up exactly when it was. Dawn: What magic? The Gravedigger: The magic that makes holes. These are magic holes. made with magic. So we find whoever makes magic. And get them to withdraw their clearly defective product. Amadi wiggles a pea at Gravy and says in a squeaky pea-voice, Amadi: It wasn't me, I swear! I'm innocent! I'm innocent! Please don't eeeeeat meeeee! Innkeeper: Five nights ago. You had a real trip, too. Ganelon: If Radek were paying attention to Gravy, he'd be scowling so hard right now. Dawn: (to Amadi) Are you sure? Are you really, absolutely sure? Dawn waggles her fingers menacingly. Rhu looks confusedly at the innkeeper, then at Amadi, then back at the innkeeper. Rhu: (to Amadi) You remember this, right? You rescued me from ... somewhere? You grinned a lot and dragged me back here. (To Ellemerr): I love nightmares. So... maleable. Ganelon: So to clarify what this wizard said... Amadi waggles her other pea and booms in a deep, maniacal pea-voice, Amadi: It was I! I did it, and I am proud that I did it! And I would do it again! You all had it coming, and you deserve every bit of it! Muahahahaha! Ganelon: 1. Planar environments can't support what? 2. Radek's bandaid fix of "make more reality" is just that? The Gravedigger: Aha! Problem solved! Help us, Mr. Pea. The Gravedigger kneels in front of Amadi's chickpea fingerpuppet The Gravedigger: Save us! (to dave) isn't it usuall a god that does magic for a place? Apheori (GM): He seems to be getting at something in the nature of the planes where they can't support the sort of... thinness behind the holes. They're either there or not. Though you've found that to not be the case at least here, so he might be referring to other planes, or not know what he's talking about, or something else entirely. And yeah, he seems to think that. He also looks pretty worried, like something is dawning on him. Rhu opts to ignore Amadi for the moment. Rhu: (to Innkeeper) So ... it looked like I was having an acid trip in here? After I ate some pills? I don't remember eating any pills. I ate a sandwich, and I think I tried to get a beer. But a mask was involved, so ... Amadi looks a little worried at Gravy and says in her normal voice, Amadi: I'm not sure she can. I think that's what you're for. Dawn: Well, it can be. Really depends on the god. And the magic. And the place. I mean, what are gods? Is the universe, if it develops sentience, a god? Radek: Oh, I expect the process will be quite gradual. A slow acceleration towards complete anarchy, at worst, of which we are presently in the early stages of. Dawn suddenly looks terrified for a moment and glances at Amadi. Dawn: Meep. Innkeeper: I don't know about acid, but you were definitely tripping something. Amadi is oblivious to this look, as she has decided to eat the two peas and is happily playing out their "Please don't eat me"s and "I shall have my vengeance, fool!"s with great glee. Innkeeper: Whatever he gave you. Innkeeper indicates Greibel. Rhu looks at Greibel. Bear Soup Guy: Throw in a little "Curse you sudden but inevitable betrayal" Dawn: You're for. Ellemerr: Of course! :D Dawn: ? Ellemerr: Who is Dawn saying that at? Apheori (GM): Um... Gravy! While trying to hide behind Amadi. Clinging to her sleeve a little. Rhu: (to Greibel) Did you give me something? That night, when ... with George? Before the cave? Radek: Your statement about planar environments, however, is demonstrably untrue. Try to find one of these "holes", if you can convince your minions to follow you there, and see for yourself. The environments of which you speak have... thinned out, I suppose you could say. Greibel shrugs Greibel: You guys are always asking me for drugs. You take a pill, I take a pill, I forget, we have cake. Wizardly adventurer: According to distrophy theory that should be normal, but we wouldn't even feel the effects. What you're describing are real, physical manifestations of a far more advanced degredation, where entire planes would be blinking out of existence. How can you know that isn't happening? If the entire world is gone, how do measure the change? Rhu: (to Greibel) What sort of pill was it? Could it have made me feel ... like I was crawling through an elf-sized intestine? Adventurer: Minions, eh? You talking about the rifts? Greibel: Heh, heh. The Gravedigger: Hmmmm. The porridge jiggles and eats chickpeas. Greibel: Yeah, that's a definite possibility. Oh man, good times. Rhu: Huh. Radek: Well, depending on the scope of this phenomenon- Radek pauses for a moment at the mention of "rifts" and looks over at the other adventurer. It's evident from his face alone that he doesn't believe he's addressing an intellectual equal. Radek: ...Yes, we are. Ganelon: Sorry, nameless adventurer. Gotta be cantankerous whenever the opportunity arises. Rhu: (to Innkeeper) So I was tripping ... here? In this inn? I'm really sorry, if I had any idea that's what the pill would do ... I was blind at the time, and seeing everything hairy, and there was this mask ... Innkeeper: Until we finally just threw you out, yes. Adventurer: (nudging the wizardly one) What do you say? Wanna check that out? Rhu: Oh. Um. Did I break anything? Frezak (GM): Gravy scoff at the nothing. Puny Avenger arms! Ganelon: Man, did I just become a questgiver to a bunch of NPC adventurers? Adventurer: Throw in the impudent? Frezak (GM): THe only thing you could break is a sweat! Adventurer doesn't look particularly pleased at Radek's addressment. Orcan adventurer: Throw. Wizardly adventurer is still petting the Kitten. Orcan adventurer: (this guy, I mean) Orcan adventurer is still petting the Kitten. Ellemerr: Kitten is still on fire and probably purring like a... fire. Yeah. Radek smirks. Radek: Threaten me all you like. I've traversed these "rifts" unscathed. Wizardly adventurer: (to Radek) Thinned, is it? And where the lattice is just gone, that is a rift? Frezak (GM): Incidentally, this is how Gravy carries Amadi when I say 'equip' http://hw1.pa-cdn.com/camp/assets/img/katie/comics/140_stage_direction2.jpg Ganelon: DM, is that accurate? Apheori (GM): Heheh. Ganelon: I don't entirely know what my own character is talking about. Apheori (GM): Uh... Gaurav: Hee. Apheori (GM): Sort of. I mean, you got from Sarathi fine. Mostly. Ganelon: UNSCATHED AS FAR AS /THEY/ KNOW. Apheori (GM): And that time you made a hole in subspace and nearly destroyed everything... well, sure, I don't suppose you took any physical damage, at least. ...sure? Frezak (GM): No-one we know died! Ganelon: Hey, I fixed it from the inside! Frezak (GM): Or was horribly mutilated! Apheori (GM): Except the giant. Radek: (To the wizard) In so many words, yes. Frezak (GM): I don't remember any giants! Gaurav: The one the arch fell on. Frezak (GM): Nope. No-one we know! Wizardly adventurer: So what's to stop it from continuing to unravel? Why... are we even still here? Frezak (GM): We're heroes! The Gravedigger: Wait, am I supposed to be a god? The Gravedigger waggles hands over Amadi The Gravedigger: Graves, graves, graves, blessed! Howzzat? Feel tingly? Ganelon: Do... I even have an answer to that question? Amadi: Always. Apheori (GM): Uh... Frezak (GM): Radek always has an answer! Apheori (GM): Nope! Dawn: Never. The Gravedigger: So on average... Doing good! The Gravedigger practises blessing things. Radek: An answer I am still contemplating, I'm afraid. Apheori (GM): XD Radek: Tell me, have you heard of Sarathi? Wizardly adventurer: Was that that... The Gravedigger waggles hands over Greibel's bong and mutters grave measurements under his breath. The Gravedigger: I pronounce this Bong to be Friend Of Graves. Adventurer: That was Serida. The Gravedigger: Take drugs with my blessing. Wizardly adventurer: Oh. No. Apheori (GM): The bong glows. ...a moment later, Amadi glows too. Frezak (GM): Gravy is unsurprised because that is what blessings do. He'll roll up his sleeves and look for converts. Greibel raises an eyebrow Wizardly adventurer: Can't say I have. Amadi: Shiny! Frezak (GM): Go to some random peasant and tell them about the wonderful religion that involves burying people. Disciples! The Gravedigger: -and always have a trowel. now, to measure someone by eye- Radek: Sarathi may no longer exist. When my... Radek glances at his own party. Radek: .../Research team/, arrived, the destabilizing effects of the rifts were no longer localized. Wizardly adventurer: GravyL You have two locals, the innkeeper, some adventurers, and a very groggy cook giving you a package of sausages to choose from. ooc Frezak (GM): Gravy turns his head 180° degrees when Radek glances back and waves. Apheori (GM): Gravy: Ganelon: He can do that? Frezak (GM): Yeah. Apheori (GM): Heee, research team. Frezak (GM): As part of my eagle Eye power I can rotate my head like an owl. Gaurav: You must be very popular at parties. Frezak (GM): I'll take the most delicious sausages and tell Amadi to pay the inkeep while I go convert the locals. Radek: Unfortunately, incompetence and the planar phenomena occurring in the area stymied my efforts. The discoveries I have made since have only been in more controlled environments. Amadi pays the inkeep in dancing, golden fleas. The Gravedigger: -never ask anyone about their health because they'll think you're drumming for business- Wizardly adventurer: Discrete rifts may account for a lack of anomalies on this side, but it may also be a matter of which planes... Apheori (GM): Gravy: So you're talking to the villager that Greibel didn't corner before. The one he did takes one look at you and leaves. Innkeeper: (to Amadi) Um. Do you have any... more standard currency? Frezak (GM): I imagine Amadi beaming like a small child as she hands the guy this handful of gilded bugs. Amadi: Yes, but you don't want them. Innkeeper: I'm reasonably sure I do. Even if you are glowing and possibly... Innkeeper suddenly stop and just takes the fleas and backs away. Innkeeper: stops* Apheori (GM): Gravy: As you talk to the guy about graves and stuff, he nods, staring at you intently. He seems a bit frightened, but you know, in your liver, that he is yoooours. Ganelon: Trust your liver, Gravy. The Gravedigger: -and always trust your liver- Radek: Hrrm... Radek takes out his tablet and begins to record the other wizard's speculations. Radek: ...I don't suppose you have one of these, do you? Wizardly adventurer: (he frowns) I have notes. Wizardly adventurer pulls out a disturbingly ornate notebook. Apheori (GM): Complete with gold and silver inlays and a skull. Ganelon: Fancy. But ANTIQUATED. Apheori (GM): He flips to a page in the middle. It starts out blank, but words form on it as he traces a finger over it. Radek: Here. Radek turns his tablet around and brings up the start of a lengthy display on his hole-related findings. Ganelon: Good thing I took all this down! In-character. OOC I have... fragments. There's probably stuff in there about how he opened a hole inside an extradimensional space and then repaired it from the inside. Apheori (GM): He taps it and adds everything to his journal, exactly as displayed. Then he starts actually reading it. Greibel: Ooo-hooo, wizard fight! Ganelon: They're not playing chess, Greibel! Gaurav: "Dear Diary, today I almost destroyed the universe! It all started with a brilliant plan to create a Hole inside a pocket universe temporarily filled with dragons ..." Ganelon: ...I could see someone intruding upon two old men playing chess in the park and shouting "Wizard fight!", though. I guess the real deal is more impressive. Apheori (GM): The wizard's face goes through a whole variety of expressions - first normal, then confusion, then disbelief, more confusion, horror, incredulity, then disgust. ...he rolled a 2. He doesn't believe you. Ganelon: Disgust? At /moi/? Frezak (GM): He just shouts "FOUR KINDS??!!" Apheori (GM): He thinks you're making this up. Wizardly adventurer: Oh, clever. You almost had me, but this is just ridiculous. Radek: ...Excuse me? Radek is deadly serious. Wizardly adventurer: What you describe is impossible. That can't have happened, and the laws of magic do not allow for this. This... fabrication. The Gravedigger: The LAW? The law is a.. human institution. Frezak (GM): Because O'Brother references. Radek sputters. Radek: F-fabrication!? Apheori (GM): The adventurer next to him raises an eyebrow, suddenly looking much more interested. Wizardly adventurer: This. Wizardly adventurer pushes Radek's tablet back toward Radek. Amadi comes over, sitting down on the adventurers' table and looking intently at the Wizardly one. Rhu caves and orders a plate of sausages. Radek rises to his knobbly old man feet and swipes the tablet back into his arms. Radek: How dare you suggest I would simply /invent/ such a thing for... what, my own amusement? This is no childish prank, fool! Ganelon: Names, if I may ask a rather important question... How easy would it be to create a Hole? Not /here/, necessarily, but you know. Somewhere. Wizardly adventurer: I'm sorry, even if you're serious, it just doesn't add up. Revisit your conclusions, and you'll see. Apheori (GM): Uh... The Gravedigger: -and help the weak! Incidentally, I have to go support my grump. You may observe." Apheori (GM): You probably could repeat it. What you did in the pocket dimension. Frezak (GM) plods over to stand behind Radek. The Gravedigger plods over to stand behind Radek. The Gravedigger: Hello! COuldn't help but overhear you disbeleivin' Grumps here. I'll have you know he's a very smart man. Wizardly adventurer tries to lean away, but he's a bit surrounded at this point. Apheori (GM): A couple of the other adventurers get up. Another falls over and yawns hugely. Frezak (GM): Gravy is beaming helpfully. Radek: ...No. I will /show/ you. Apheori (GM): Oh gods. The Gravedigger: No you won't! The Gravedigger picks up Radek Dawn: Um, that that that... please don't do that. The Gravedigger marches off with Radek. The Gravedigger: PLeasure meeting you! Frezak (GM): We can roll off if you want, gan. Dawn: (to the adventurers) You guys just check it out, okay? Frezak (GM): PVP and all that. Dawn runs after Gravy. Radek: Put me down, you oaf! This... this /upstart/ thinks he can insult my research and you're taking HIS SIDE!? Apheori (GM): The adventurer who fell over and gets up looking around, wondering what he missed. Wizardly adventurer: Um, yes, er, we'll do that... Wizardly adventurer hastily gets up and backs away. The Gravedigger: I'm ensuring a peaceful dialogue that does not result in tearing apart spacetime! Radek: I can repair the damage! I've done it twice before! Frezak (GM): I want to... bore him to sleep. With technical grave-talk. Ganelon: "Sleep"? GOOD LUCK. Frezak (GM): I'm a god, I can do whatever I want. Otherwise I'm dumping you in a pocket universe until you cool down. Amadi looks over the Wizardly guy's shoulder at his notebook. Then she points out a line to him. Amadi: See there? That's where you're right. It doesn't make sense. But that doesn't mean Radek is wrong. He's not. If you believe he is... Well. You're in a spot of danger, eh. Good luck. Amadi jumps off the table, grins at the adventurers, and finds Greibel. Wizardly adventurer: Eh? Wizardly adventurer looks at the spot, which is a completely different spot than he'd even noticed before, and then stares after Amadi. Ellemerr: I'm not even sure where Greibel is right now. Sorry. Apheori (GM): Neither am I. Just drag him from the bar. Rhu's eating sausages there too. Gaurav: They are delicious. Apheori (GM): Where are Gravy and Radek? And would you like to roll... boredomeness? Frezak (GM): I'm just outside. Apheori (GM): With something... applicable, whatever that would be. Frezak (GM): I'm going to say... Int skill, proficiency, Vs Will? Bear Soup Guy: Greibel's just been wandering around within the close vicinity of everybody else Radek shouts as he's carried off. Radek: You'll see! When your reality is reduced to nothing but scattered threads, the man who repairs it all will be Radek J. Fulvius! Cling to your so-called "laws" and see how well they protect you when the time finally comes, fool! Frezak (GM): rolling 1D20+4+5 ( 17 ) +4+5 = 26 Bear Soup Guy: As Amadi approaches he starts screaming about falafel scotch eggs Frezak (GM): Vs Will Rhu shoves the last of the sausage into his mouth, leaves some money from the wizard tower to pay for his meal, and then heads outside to where Gravy and Radek are. Ganelon: Well his Will is 19. Amadi joins in the screaming. Frezak (GM): It's basically using intimidation rules on a different stat set. I just want radek to sleep or at least just zone out blankly. Ganelon: Except there's no rules for intimidating PCs. Greibel: Listen, I know those TARDIS pockets of yours are always turning up useful things. Do you happen to have a frying pan, oil, and the ingredients for such a dish? Ganelon: Anyway, carry him far enough away and he'll at least stop shouting. The Gravedigger 's tone turns deadly serious. The Gravedigger: Okay, now calm down or i'll ask one of the godshards to calm you down, understand? Frezak (GM): Presumably it's just Gravy and Radek right now. Apheori (GM): They're outside now, Dawn ran after. Rhu'll catch up in a moment too. Amadi and Greibel are... uh... doing stuff inside. Amadi: Er... I have... Amadi drags up a really tiny frying pan, some swedish meat balls, a faberge egg, and scotch whiskey in a fancy hip flask. Radek: If that ignorant child requires a demonstration, it is well within my capabilities to provide one. Ganelon: Names, if I might ask, how ironclad are these "laws" of magic? The Gravedigger: Zip it. We're here to fix this problem, not just replicated it because of your damn ego. Apheori (GM): A good chunk of it was the guy not knowing what he was talking about. Ganelon: Radek is certainly nuts enough to disregard them, but it would help if he were aware that his theories are the equivalent of, say, disproving gravity. Apheori (GM): But what laws there are are pretty important normally. The Gravedigger: You talk about disrupting reality like that over such a petty matter and you're going into a hole, comprende? Apheori (GM): Just think physics or something. Radek: Good! Apheori (GM): So things like gravity, strong and weak forces... Something something. I have no idea. Ganelon: No, that's totally fine. Apheori (GM): "Good!" Heh. Radek: I needed a new testing environment, anyways! Gaurav: Relevant XKCD: http://xkcd.com/1489/ I hope scotch faberge eggs becomes this inn's new speciality. Ganelon: It's just that if this is a law of physics as consistent and widely accepted as gravity, it makes a lot of sense that he would be shunned for suggesting circumstances under which it doesn't apply. Or rather, a law of magics. Apheori (GM): Oh, aye, it might be. I don't know what the laws THEY THINK are. Because those are probably even weirder than the real things. Ganelon: Regarding magic? Oh, who even knows. Magic is a total mess. Apheori (GM): Even without holes tearing it up. >.> Ganelon: I don't believe in sane wizards. Anyone who wields the power of magic without requiring an intricate understanding of it is welcome to be a socially well-adjusted and mentally healthy individual. A wizard, though? Nope. Apheori (GM): So what does Greibel do with Amadi's accoutrements? Bear Soup Guy: He takes them holds them out carefully, assessing their suitability He seems satisfied And then he mushes everything together with his hands like a barbarian Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20 Bear Soup Guy: rolling 1d20 ( 4 ) = 4 Apheori (GM): You wind up with a faberge meatball full of scotch. Greibel shrugs Greibel: Close enough Greibel feeds it to Rasputin Rasputin devours it and dribbles bits of egg down Greibel's shirt. Apheori (GM): Hardboiled egg, at that. Somehow. So what now? Bear Soup Guy: Greibel grins widely Ganelon: I dunno. We've got a half hour before we lose the Merr. Gaurav: Did Gravy manage to stop Radek from destroying the universe again? Ellemerr: Lost and gone. Ganelon: Radek didn't destroy the universe! He destroyed a pocked dimension and everything else was totally fine. Pocket, even. Gaurav: Only because Hazz' stepping in, saved the day, and got bonked on the nose! Frezak (GM): Poor Hazz. Apheori (GM): Hazz only helpef. Technically it was Radek and Amadi who actually fixed it. Frezak (GM): Nobody appreaciates him. Gaurav: Oh, okay. Well, Rhu thinks it was all Hazz'. Last decent thing he did, really. Ganelon: I remember Amadi saving Radek. I don't remember what either of them actually did to fix things. Ellemerr: I don't. O_o Apheori (GM): They rolled a lot of arcana. Session 24. I just finished it the other day. Ganelon: Oh, neat. Ellemerr: Sooo... What now? xD If we don't know, I guess I could go sleep early. Apheori (GM): Next week y'all want to head out for the airship? Take a stop at the tree? Check that out. On the way. There's also farms and treants and stuff. Gaurav: Rhu needs to walk the sausages off. I think the airship sounds most interesting, followed by tree, followed distantly by treats. treants* Apheori (GM): Well, in terms of proximity, that's exactly backwards. Frezak (GM): Yeah, I wanted to check out the airship. Apheori (GM): Tree 's on the way to the airship. Treeants are off to the side, so you'd have to actually go out of your way for those. But if you did, it'd be before the tree. Gaurav: Inn -> Tree -> Airship, then? Unless anyone really wants to go see those treats? Ugh autocorrect Apheori (GM): Greibel can talk to the tree and then you can actually maybe get out of there? Ganelon: Sure. Apheori (GM): WITHOUT ZOMBIES? Frezak (GM): Eh, trees. Apheori (GM): I know, digging through roots is awful. Next wednesday? Frezak (GM): Looks like it. Apheori (GM): Hmm, maybe it should be zombies. De-zombie the airship... Bear Soup Guy: Yes Please That's all I want Apheori (GM): Zombies? Bear Soup Guy: Is undead on an airship Undead or ghosts Apheori (GM): Excellent! Okay see you all then get good sleep don't go outside in the snow if you're sick la la la this'll end in tears. Gaurav: *Ghosts*! That sounds like fun. Zombies will be fine too. See you all next Wednesday! Ellemerr: Right. Thanks. Sweet daydreams and nightmares, one and all. Frezak (GM): And remember, kids. FOUR KINDS Apheori (GM): Radek gets the airship off the ground and ghosts come out of the walls. I like this idea. ...you open the package and find SIX KINDS. Gaurav gasps. Apheori (GM): Sweet nightmares, merrrrs. Bear Soup Guy: :O Adios! Ganelon: ...Is there a kind of draug suited to flying airships? Ellemerr: If you cut the airship in half, sure. Apheori (GM): Draug? Ellemerr: Norwegian "undead/ghost" of the sea, the souls of drowned sailors who bring deadly storms and bad luck. Frezak (GM): Also salmon. Apheori (GM): Oh, probably. Ganelon: If I remember right, they're well-known for sailing wrecked, formerly-sunken ships that honestly are no longer seaworthy. Apheori (GM): On the other hand, maybe that was why it crashed. Because they do go differently in the air... Ellemerr: They sail in ruined (not sail-worthy) ships, often against the ship (like the Dutchman). Very often, their ship will be cut in half. Ganelon: You mean against the wind? Ellemerr: against the wind* Yes. Ganelon: Yeah. Only other thing I remember them is that aesthetically they /look/ like drowned corpses. Ellemerr: Though usually not as extreme as TSW's. They don't look long-dead. Ganelon: Well no, I don't imagine many of them use bellies full of eels as a means of locomotion. Ellemerr: Just... dead. And drowned. And full of sea-weeds. Apheori (GM): EELS/ . Frezak (GM): EELWHORES YES Ellemerr: But now: sleep. Apheori (GM): Yes.
