Difference between revisions of "Holes/Session 32"

A fragment of the Garden of Remembering
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<pre>
{{holes nav
Apheori (GM): Okay, so the situation now is that you're all outside the guardhouse, apparently headed to the inn to talk to George, the guard who might have had an idea about the zombies. Gravy is apparently carrying Rhu. Greibel is petting the porridge.
|top=true
Dave and Amadi are elsewhere.
|previous=Holes/Session 31
DO YOU DO ANYHING OUTSIDE?
|next=Holes/Session 33
Frezak (GM): Presumably we walk to the inn.
}}
Apheori (GM): Okay.
<screenplay>
Rhu tries desperately to avoid squealing "wheee!" and to focus on all the reasons for him to be sad.
INT. Dorgin town inn - Evening
Apheori (GM): Inn is standard fantasy inn with a really bad bard. Folks throw things at the bard occasionally.
 
There's an innkeeper, also glaring at the bard.
The inn is a standard fantasy inn with tavern with a really bad bard. Folks throw things at the bard occasionally. The innkeeper is also glaring at the bard, but not doing anything other than that.
George is in the corner wearing a pair of industrial earmuffs.
 
Frezak (GM): Industrial?
The bard is singing horribly. George is in the corner wearing a pair of industrial earmuffs. The sort folks use when jackhammering a sidewalk.
Apheori (GM): The sort folks use when jackhammering a sidewalk.
 
Gaurav: Someone is presumably making a killing selling those in this town.
The party enters, the Gravedigger carrying Rhu, Greibel petting the porridge.
But why not just get rid of the bard instead? Maybe he's extremely powerful and we should hire him.
 
Frezak (GM): Anyone have Telepathy?
The bard starts singing about them. It's kind of insulting. And screechy. And a bit waily. It's a bit racist, but the racism is mitigated by his having no idea what race most of them are. So it's more along the lines of log-man hoisted by a dog-man, big big big dog-man, all about are soggy men, loiging in a bog-man... then it dissolves into a largely unintelligible mess.
Gaurav: Frezak: How is Gravy carrying Rhu? Has he put me down yet?
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu might have telepathy. Roll sanity to find out!
RHU
Gaurav: ?!?!
(under his breath)
Rhu:
...what is going on?
rolling d20
 
(
The Gravedigger heads up to the bar and beckons over the innkeeper.
12
 
)
THE GRAVEDIGGER
=
Oy. Is the bard over there important somehow? Son of some lord or something? Is there any reason I can't just toss him out?
12
 
Apheori (GM): Nope, he's just blind.
INNKEEPER
Gaurav: Yay!
Ugh, no. We don't even know where the guy came from. Bouncer gave up removing him days ago since he just keeps coming back, but if you can get rid of him...
Maybe a very high insight counts as telepathy? Mine's 7. But it might be easier to just tower over George and see where that gets us.
(indicating Rhu)
Apheori (GM): Aye, talking to people is probably a good place to start.
What's with that stick of a guy? You not intending to use his boniness as a weapon, are you? We have a size limit on allowed weapons, you know, so I'm going to need that answer to be no.
Frezak (GM): What did we even want?
 
Gaurav: Have we figured out where we are yet?
RHU
I think it was mostly that he had an alternate theory about why the Holes were around, and he talked sense about the local government, so we think he might have noticed something that we haven't.
(under his breath)
Ludicrous as that sounds.
What bony elf?
Oh.
 
Apheori (GM): George had mentioned something about the source of the zombies.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Gaurav: We could also stop the bard, which might get him to take the ear protectors off. Maybe Greibel could turn into a hundred million birds and sign at him.
Nah, he's a passenger.
sing*
 
Frezak (GM): I think he did mention a nearby town that was familiar in name.
The Gravedigger puts Rhu on a chair and goes after the bard instead, who runs away as soon as the Gravedigger comes near him, singing faster and louder.
Apheori (GM): What was the name?
 
Also some of you might be hungry by now.
Other folks in the inn start to watch with interest.
Frezak (GM): I don't remember.
 
Else I'd have said something more precise.
Rhu realises that he's at a table and leans onto it.
Apheori (GM): Oh.
 
Okay.
RHU
So everyone just stands around awkwardly?
(to the empty table)
Frezak (GM): Is the bard bad enough to reasonably justify the use of earmuffs?
Excuse me, have you seen a bony elf around here somewhere? I think that terrible singer is looking for one.
Apheori (GM): Potentially.
 
Rhu remains awkwardly in Gravy's arms.
Greibel walks over to Rhu, confused as to why the avenger is talking to a table with nobody sitting at it.
Apheori (GM): It may also have something to do with what he's singing about.
 
Because now he starts singing about you guys. It's kind of insulting. And screechy. And a bit waily.
The Gravedigger shoots the blade of the shovel off at the bard with a loud SPOIIIIING, bonking him in the back of the head and knocking him down. ''(rolled 26 vs AC)''
Bear Soup Guy: Is it RACIST
 
awww
The bard starts shrieking unintelligibly. It's really high-pitched and rather uncomfortable.
Apheori (GM): Some of it.
 
The racism is mitigated by his having no idea what race most of you are.
The other folks in the inn look decidedly pained, and one guy passes out.
So it's more along the lines of log-man hoisted by a dog-man, big big big dog-man, all about are soggy men, loiging in a bog-man...
 
Then it dissolves into a largely unintelligible mess.
The Gravedigger drags the bard outside.
Bear Soup Guy: Randy Newman, ladies and gentlemen!
 
Rhu: (under his breath) ... what is going on?
 
Frezak (GM): I'll head up to the bar and ask the Barman if the bard is like the son of some lord or if there's any reason I can't just toss him out.
EXT. Dorgin, outside the inn
Apheori (GM): Was he the one in that apocalypse family guy episode?
 
Bear Soup Guy: He was
The Gravedigger throws the bard into a hole.
Apheori (GM): Heeeeee, yes
 
.
The bard continues to shriek.
That guy.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Sweet :D
 
Apheori (GM): Singing about what he sees.
INT. Dorgin town inn
Frezak: Barman says no, they're not even sue where the guy came from, just that he keeps coming back and the bouncer gave up on removing him. Barman also asks you why you're carrying that stick of an elf and if you intend to use Rhu's boniness as a weapon.
 
Barman also also mentions that they have a size limit on allowed weapons, so the answer to that needs to be no.
Inside the tavern everyone looks a lot happier now that the bard is further away. The passed out guy starts snoring.
Rhu: (under his breath) What bony elf?
 
The Gravedigger: Nah, he's a passenger.
Frezak (GM): I'll put the Avenger on a chair and go pick up teh bard.
Apheori (GM): Bard runs away when you come near him, and also starts singing faster and louder.
Other folks in the inn are starting to watch with interest.
Roll to grab the bard anyway or something.
Frezak (GM): Tell my Shovel to bonk him on teh head.
Chainreach SHovel Daily pwoer.
Rhu realises that he's at a table, leans onto it, and says to anybody else at the table: "Excuse me, have you seen a bony elf around here somewhere? I think that terrible singer is looking for one."
Apheori (GM): Is that an attack?
Frezak (GM): yup
Apheori (GM): Roll to attack.
Greibel walks over to Rhu confused as to why he's talking to a table with nobody sitting at it
Frezak (GM):
rolling 1D20+9
(
17
)
+9
=
26
VS AC
On a hit he's knocked down.
Apheori (GM): Yup, that totally hits him, knocks him down, and causes him to start shrieking unintelligibly.
It's really high-pitched and rather uncomfortable.
Gaurav: Does that attack come with any sound effects?
Frezak (GM): I'll go drag him outside and throw him into a hole.
Yes.
Apheori (GM): The other folks in the inn look decidedly pained and one guy passes out.
Frezak (GM): SPOIIIIING
Apheori (GM): You throw him in the hole and he still shrieks.
The rest of you: everyone in the inn seems much happier.
Passed out guy starts snoring.
George doesn't seem to have noticed any of this past his earmuffs.
George doesn't seem to have noticed any of this past his earmuffs.
Frezak (GM): I'll head back to the Inn.
 
Grumps here?
The Gravedigger plods back inside and the innkeeper pours him a drink.
Apheori (GM): Grumps?
 
Bear Soup Guy: Two guesses who Grumps is :P
Apheori (GM): Must be Greibel.
Gravy: The barman pours you a drink.
Bear Soup Guy: I AM TIRED OF ALL OF THESE DRUGS. DON'T TOUCH ME.
Apheori (GM): BSG: Tried medicating Rhu?
Bear Soup Guy: That was supposed to have (Greibel) at the front but apparently it thought my triable brackets were HTML code
Triable
Triangle
Apheori (GM): <
Bear Soup Guy: I think I tried healing Rhu before, right?
Apheori (GM): Healing, yes. Not drugging.
Bear Soup Guy: I found out that he's linked to Hazz in a non-biological way
Ahhhhh
Gaurav: Did you try curing the blindness? I thought you only tried curing the eels. But I might be wrong.
"non-biological way" oooo
Apheori (GM): There's nothing he could do with standard healing.
Bear Soup Guy: "Sounds kinky."
Gaurav: Only way it could be with Hazz.
All those tentacles.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: Some things are glowing, apparently from one of the drugs you took. If you were radek you might experiment on Rhu to see if drug effects bypass blindness, but you're probably not drugged enough.
Or something.
Bear Soup Guy: I might have something for him...
Rhu continues conversing to the empty table.
Rhu continues conversing to the empty table.
Bear Soup Guy: Would it be terribly counter-productive if I re-enacted that scene from Cheech And Chong's Up In Smoke where Chong accidentally gives Cheech acid?
 
Apheori (GM): Maybe, but it'd be hilarious.
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): Would it be terribly counter-productive if I re-enacted that scene from Cheech And Chong's Up In Smoke where Chong accidentally gives Cheech acid?
Gaurav: Criminey. Can you at least roll to pick the right potion?
 
Bear Soup Guy: Right!
'''''Apheori (GM)''': Maybe, but it'd be hilarious.
Gaurav: If potion is the word I'm looking for.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Okay, good point
'''''Gaurav''' (Rhu): Criminey. Can you at least roll to pick the right potion?
I'll roll a....something, to rummage through my pack looking for white pills that look a lot like other white pills
 
Gaurav: Hee
'''''Bear Soup Guy''' (Greibel): I'll roll a... something, to rummage through my pack looking for white pills that look a lot like other white pills.
Apheori (GM): Roll perception.
 
Bear Soup Guy:
GREIBEL
rolling 1d20+11 Greibel remarks "Hold on Rhu, I've got something that'll mellow your mind, man." before rummaging through his pack.
Hold on Rhu, I've got something that'll mellow your mind, man.
(
 
3
Greibel rummages through his pack and finds some white pills. ''(rolled 14 perception)''
)
 
+11
GREIBEL
=
Here ya go, man. Take these.
14
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You find some white pills.
RHU
Greibel: Here ya go, man. Take these.
Eh? What? Huh?
Rhu: Eh? What? Huh?
 
Rhu takes the pills, sniffs suspiciously at them, then shrugs and swallows.
Rhu takes the pills, sniffs suspiciously at them, then shrugs and swallows.
Gaurav: Welp, it was nice knowing you guys.
 
Bear Soup Guy: :D
Nothing happens.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You notice no effect at all.
 
Rhu: That was nice, Greibel, thanks. Vitamins?
RHU
Greibel: Yeah, Vitamin Q (OOC: We're in the FUTURE, there is totally a Vitamin Q) and some supplements.
That was nice, Greibel, thanks. Vitamins?
It might enhance your other senses a bit.
 
Ganelon: Okay, I think I might be caught up?
GREIBEL
Why are we in a bar?
Yeah, Vitamin Q and some supplements. It might enhance your other senses a bit.
Rhu: Oh, NICE. I could really use that!
 
Rhu grins and nods in entirely the wrong direction.
RHU
Frezak (GM): Because that's where the helpful guard went
Oh, NICE. I could really use that!
Apheori (GM): Followed George. The min-Radek.
 
mini*
Rhu grins and nods in entirely the wrong direction. He puts a small black stone on his head and starts balancing it absentmindedly.
Rhu starts ballancing a small black stone on his head.
 
Ganelon: I suppose that means that Radek is grumping around with George.
 
Gaurav: Does Rhu know that he's doing that, or is he just absent-mindedly balancing this stone?
 
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Meanwhile Radek heads to George's corner. He slides up next to George and takes a seat, but George doesn't immediately notice him, just staring at his drink.
Just absent-mindedly.
 
Gaurav: Ha, nice.
Then George suddenly notices Radek, almost jumps out of his chair, and pulls off an earmuff.
Apheori (GM): Radek: George is wearing earmuffs and doesn't notice you immediately.
 
Frezak (GM): I could fix that!
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Apheori (GM): Frezak: How deep was the hole you dumped the bard in?
How long have you been there?
Frezak (GM): Eh, I made spare anti-zombie graves.
 
So deeper than usual.
RADEK
say about eight feet.
...A few minutes. Don't worry, I appreciate the silence. Any minute now I'm expecting one of the deadbeats to come pestering me about some new problem.
Ostensibly something you can't crawl out of.
 
Radek slides up next to George. He'd fashion a substitute for earmuffs himself, but he's already an old man and probably doesn't need the help.
George glances over at the others. Rhu, Greibel and Amadi are chatting. The Gravedigger is gathering up some drinks.
Ganelon: Does he have a sci-fi hearing aid? Probably, because I've never made a point of him screeching "WHAT!?" at people talking to him.
 
Though in retrospect that seems like a good way to get them to stop talking to him.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Apheori (GM): Sure, why not.
They seem occupied.
Ganelon: I will remember it for later.
 
Gaurav: We might still be wearing in-ear headphones from the original survey of Sarathi. Or maybe I'm misremembering that we had those?
RADEK
Frezak (GM): I do believe we all communication units.
Yes, that is how the problems get started. Sometimes they're not responsible. I still have to fix it all, though.
Gaurav: Not Rhu. He bashed his against a rock in Arah.
 
Frezak (GM): Sensible.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
George doesn't seem to notice Radek. He's just staring at his drink.
Is that how you wound up here?
Rhu: (in the direction that Greibel had been speaking from earlier) Where are Dave and Amadi? Are they still with us?
 
RADEK
I think I would go insane trying to understand how I wound up here.
 
 
 
INNKEEPER
(indicating Amadi)
She with you?
 
The Gravedigger shrugs.
 
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Could be one or t'other.
 
 
 
RHU
(in the direction that Greibel had been speaking from earlier)
Where are Dave and Amadi? Are they still with us?
 
Amadi appears.
Amadi appears.
Bear Soup Guy: Where did the- Oh
 
Amadi: No. No, we're not.
AMADI
Ganelon: Alwaaaayssssss~
No. No, we're not.
Greibel: Definitive answer from the source
 
Rhu: (looks towards Greibel, then towards Amadi, then back towards Greibel)
GREIBEL
Definitive answer from the source.
 
RHU
One of you is wrong.
One of you is wrong.
Amadi: I'm never wrong.
 
Rhu: Okay then.
AMADI
Is Dave still around?
I'm never wrong.
George suddenly notices Radek, almost jumps out of his chair, and pulls off an earmuff.
 
George: How long have you been there?
RHU
Ellemerr: Is Dave still around?
Okay then. Is Dave still around?
Apheori (GM): Dave is not here.
 
Radek: ...A few minutes.
AMADI
Don't worry, I appreciate the silence.
Depends. Around what?
Amadi: Depends. Around what?
 
Radek: Any minute now I'm expecting one of the deadbeats to come pestering me about some new problem.
RHU
Ellemerr: Where did I leave Squirrel? Did I leave Squirrel? Is she with Dave?
Around... here? I dunno. I don't think Hazz' seriously expects me to able to protect you two without... you know (gestures at his face). But I hope she's okay with that crazy guard.
I don't remember anything.
 
Rhu: Around ... here?
AMADI
I dunno.
Oh, she's fiiine, they're both fiiiine.
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah, squirrel is still with Dave
 
Ellemerr: Except that I had revenge on a guy who totally deserved it for some reason.
George looks back, assumes Radek means his companions, and shrugs.
George: They seem occupied.
Radek: Yes, that is how the problems get started.
Rhu: I don't think Hazz' seriously expects me to able to protect you two without ... you know (gestures at his face). But I hope she's okay with that crazy guard.
Radek: Sometimes they're not responsible. I still have to fix it all, though.
George: Is that how you wound up here?
Amadi: Oh, she's fiiine, they're both fiiiine.
Radek: I think I would go insane trying to understand how I wound up here.
Rhu looks at Amadi suspiciously but doesn't say anything.
Rhu looks at Amadi suspiciously but doesn't say anything.
Rhu: Are we in a pub? Do they have sandwiches?
 
Amadi: Are we in a pub? Why are we in a pub?
RHU
I have sandwiches.
Are we in a pub? Do they have sandwiches?
Rhu: Radek and Gravy said something about some guy they liked the look off. Something about the Holes?
 
... I'm sure they can make me one here. If I just knew who to ask.
AMADI
Amadi: Oh, yeah. You should probably fix the Holes.
Are we in a pub? Why are we in a pub? I have sandwiches.
George: Rhu: You suddenly realise you can see Amadi.
 
Er, ooc.
RHU
Rhu: That's *their* job (pointing towards the restrooms). I'm just supposed to keep an eye on Dave and you. And that skull that has someone's soul in it, I guess.
Radek and Gravy said something about some guy they liked the look off. Something about the Holes? ...I'm sure they can make me one here. If I just knew who to ask.
Gaurav: No, I like the idea of George shouting at us from across the room :-P
 
Amadi: Yeah, and Squirrel.
AMADI
... I left her with Dave. They're fiiiine.
Oh, yeah. You should probably fix the Holes.
Apheori (GM): George and Radek are talking in a corner.
 
Gaurav: Is she surrounded by darkness?
RHU
Like, can I see nothing else, or is there ... tentacles?
(pointing towards the restrooms)
Apheori (GM): Gravy and Greibel can probably hear them, but I dunno about Rhu.
That's ''their'' job. I'm just supposed to keep an eye on Dave and you. And that skull that has someone's soul in it, I guess.
Rhu: Just Amadi. Some glowiness. A weight on your head.
 
Bear Soup Guy: Rhu ostensibly should have better hearing than all of us now because KIND OF SCIENCE
AMADI
Rhu stares at Amadi for a second.
Yeah, and Squirrel. ...I left her with Dave. They're fiiiine.
Rhu: Hi?
 
Apheori (GM): Radek: George asks you what all you're trying to solve.
Rhu stares at Amadi for a second, suddenly realising he can see her. Then he waves at her.
Rhu waves at Amadi
 
Amadi turns to the nearest pub-working-person-thing and asks sweetly, "Can we have a sandwich? I already have one but my friend doesn't and I'd like to compare; I got this bit of wiggly thing in mine and I'm just not sure they're supposed to be like that?"
RHU
Amadi waves at Rhu.
Hi?
Radek: Oh, the whole universe is coming apart at the seams.
 
Gaurav: "bit of wiggly thing", hee
Amadi waves at Rhu, then turns to the nearest waitress.
Radek: Holes connecting planes of existence that should never interact with each other opening up everywhere.
 
Rhu stares at Amadi some more, then turns around to see if he can see anything else.
AMADI
Rhu absentmindedly reaches up to take the stone off his head and puts it on the table.
(sweetly)
Amadi reaches out to pick up the stone.
Can we have a sandwich? I already have one but my friend doesn't and I'd like to compare; I got this bit of wiggly thing in mine and I'm just not sure they're supposed to be like that?
Apheori (GM): The barman asks Gravy if Amadi is with them.
 
Radek: I've closed /one/. I'm trying to improve the method.
 
Apheori (GM): George stares at Radek and then says, "Oh fuck."
 
And then he downs his drink.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Frezak (GM): Gravy shrugs.
So what're you trying to solve?
The Gravedigger: Could be one or t'other.
 
Rhu: Greibel? Are you still here?
RADEK
Greibel: Here as I'll ever be
Oh, the whole universe is coming apart at the seams. Holes connecting planes of existence that should never interact with each other opening up everywhere. I've closed ''one''. I'm trying to improve the method.
Apheori (GM): The barman hands Amadi a rather tired-looking sandwich.
 
Radek: Well, don't worry too much. This place seems fine, other than the zombies.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You can see a sort of glow that might be an outline of Greibel. IT might not be.
Fuck.
Radek: If a hole opens up I'm sure we'll head on over to try and fix it. No guarantees something idiotic won't happen and stick us between the fabric of reality, though...
 
George downs his drink.
 
RADEK
Well, don't worry too much. This place seems fine, other than the zombies. If a hole opens up I'm sure we'll head on over to try and fix it. No guarantees something idiotic won't happen and stick us between the fabric of reality, though...
 
Radek sighs.
Radek sighs.
Radek: Again.
 
Rhu: Are you ... there? (points at the Greibel-outlining glow)
RADEK
Amadi: Hmm... Well, there's no sort of wriggle bit, but... I'm still not too sure about this. Here.
Again.
Ganelon: By something idiotic, he means that he generally expects it to be someone's fault.
 
Amadi hands the sandwich to Rhu.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Gaurav: Can I see the sandwich?
The zombies may be coming out of a... hole.
Greibel puts his hand on Rhu's shoulder
 
George: The zombies may be coming out of a... hole.
RADEK
Greibel goes "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH" and then starts laughing
Oh?
Radek: Oh?
 
George: Where reality just gets weird around it. And the closer you get, the more likely...
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Well, they sent in a unit. They came out zombie.
Where reality just gets weird around it. And the closer you get, the more likely... Well, they sent in a unit. They came out zombie.
Radek: Yes, yes, that sounds like one.
 
Maybe I can fix both of your problems at once, then, George.
RADEK
George: You have some way to make people less stupid?
Yes, yes, that sounds like one. Maybe I can fix both of your problems at once, then, George.
 
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
You have some way to make people less stupid?
(he looks at Radek skeptically)
If that were so, you'd look happier.
If that were so, you'd look happier.
Radek looks at George for a moment, and laughs. He laughs for a long time.
Radek looks at George for a moment, and laughs. He laughs for a long time.
George: Which problems did you mean, then?
 
Ellemerr: Happy Radek. A stange, half-nice half-supercreepy sight.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Ganelon: It is a /hollow/ laugh, Merr.
Which problems did you mean, then?
Gaurav: _half_ supercreepy?
 
Ellemerr: He seems happier than usual, anyway.
RADEK
Radek: Just the ones threatening your life, I'm afraid.
Just the ones threatening your life, I'm afraid.
Gaurav: we have to bring George with us. The Misanthropic Duo.
 
George: Oh.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Oh.
 
George sighs.
George sighs.
Ellemerr: "Hooray, someone finally understands me! This is the happiest day since I got covered in liquid metal-stuff!"
 
Radek: I'll remember to find you if I ever find a cure for stupidity. You do the same, alright?
RADEK
George: Oh, I've found A cure. Just not a good one.
I'll remember to find you if I ever find a cure for stupidity. You do the same, alright?
And generally I wind up arresting those who administer it.
 
Gaurav: DM: Amadi handed Rhu a sandwich. Could I see the sandwich, or just her empty hand? And did I see the Greibel-shaped outline put his hand on my shoulder and then shout in my ear?
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Apheori (GM): Just to be clear, the outline did say blaaaaargh.
Oh, I've found a cure. Just not a good one. And generally I wind up arresting those who administer it.
Gaurav: HUH.
 
Apheori (GM): You just see a darker smudge where the sandwich it.
 
is
 
Rhu pokes at the darker smudge
Rhu stares at Amadi some more, then turns around to see if he can see anything else. He sees a sort of glow that might be the outline of Greibel. It also might not be.
Rhu: Is this a ... sandwich?
 
Amadi: Oh, for the sake of ice-cream!
RHU
Greibel? Are you still here?
 
GREIBEL
Here as I'll ever be.
 
RHU
(pointing at Greibel)
Are you... there?
 
Rhu absentmindedly reaches up to take the stone off his head and puts it on the table.
 
Amadi picks up the stone, and a waitress hands her a rather tired-looking sandwich.
 
AMADI
Hmm... Well, there's no sort of wriggle bit, but... I'm still not too sure about this.
 
Greibel puts his hand on Rhu's shoulder.
 
GREIBEL
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
 
Greibel starts laughing.
 
AMADI
Here.
 
Amadi hands the sandwich to Rhu. To him, it appears merely as a darker smudge against her odd brightness.
 
Rhu pokes at the sandwich smudge.
 
RHU
Is this a... sandwich?
 
AMADI
Oh, for the sake of ice-cream!
 
Amadi digs in frustration through her pockets and hands Rhu a mask.
Amadi digs in frustration through her pockets and hands Rhu a mask.
Gaurav: Ellemerr: did you perception that rock I took off my head? It might be another one of those rocks-with-shapes-on-'em things we've been correcting!
 
Apheori (GM): Now I want ice cream.
Rhu pokes at the gap between her fingers, running into the mask with his hand as a result.
What did you do with the rock?
 
(From Amadi): I have no idea what the mask does. In my head it might make him see things like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKpYXkcVJGs
RHU
Rhu pokes at the gap between her fingers/the mask, depending on whether I can see it or not.
What is this?
Rhu: What is this?
 
Ellemerr: Oh, I picked it up. Then I got distracted by sandwiches. I can look at it now while he's distracted by my mask.
AMADI
Amadi: It might help.
It might help.
Gaurav: The Distraction Duo.
 
Rhu feels it/looks at it, realises that it's a mask, and tries putting it on the wrong way around.
Rhu feels it, realises that it's a mask, and tries putting it on the wrong way around. He turns it around and puts it on properly. Suddenly he can sort of see, but everyone looks like muppets. And there's a sort of weird mould everywhere. Everything looks hairy.
Gaurav: If the mask doesn't magically twist itself around to conform to my face, I'll try it the other way around.
 
Apheori (GM): It doesn't do anything weird. Yet.
Amadi nods and looks at the stone. It's one with a contagion symbol on it.
Radek pats George on the back. Softly - he couldn't make much of an impact even if he tried.
 
Radek: Well, I'd be lying if I said /I/ never tried to build a doomsday device. It's hard to be grateful about the end of all things when it's actually happening, though.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Amadi: The rock had the symbol for contagion on it.
HUH.
Ellemerr: Delightful!
 
Who had the other rocks?
Rhu takes the mask off, checks to see that he's still blind without it, then puts the mask back on.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You put the mask on properly, and now you can sort of see. Now everything looks like muppets. And there's mould or something everywhere. Everything is kind of fuzzy/hairy, at any rate.
 
Rhu: HUH.
RHU
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Greibel, you have GOT to try this sometime.
Rhu takes the mask off, checks to see that he's still blind, then puts the mask back on.
 
Amadi: So can you eat now?
AMADI
Rhu: Greibel, you have GOT to try this sometime.
So can you eat now?
 
Rhu puts on and takes off the mask a couple of times, then leaves it on.
Rhu puts on and takes off the mask a couple of times, then leaves it on.
Rhu: Thanks, Mrs. Teatime! I like what you've done with your hair.
 
I can see! I CAN SEE! And also eat, I think.
RHU
Amadi: No problem.
Thanks, Mrs. Teatime! I like what you've done with your hair. I can see! I CAN SEE! And also eat, I think.
... This rock is camouflaged as toxic waste. Or something. I think. Or maybe it's the other way around. Do you want it?
 
George: Yeah, no kidding. Nevermind all the idiots that live here, I have to live here too.
AMADI
Rhu: I'm always happy to hold onto stones! I've got two already, I think. Are you going to eat that furry-looking sandwich? I'm famished.
No problem.
Amadi: I got it for you! I already have one.
This rock is camouflaged as toxic waste. Or something. I think. Or maybe it's the other way around. Do you want it?
Apheori (GM): Entirely unrelatedly, blackberry syrup apparently curdles baileys.
 
Rhu: Oh, thanks a million! That's very nice of you.
RHU
I'm always happy to hold onto stones! I've got two already, I think. Are you going to eat that furry-looking sandwich? I'm famished.
 
AMADI
I got it for you! I already have one.
 
RHU
Oh, thanks a million! That's very nice of you.
 
Rhu guzzles down the sandwich.
Rhu guzzles down the sandwich.
Rhu: Hang on, I need to try something.
 
Rhu tries to walk to the bar by using the mask.
GREIBEL
Gaurav: Is that an easy enough thing to do or should I roll something?
(to Amadi)
Apheori (GM): d20
Mind if I pocket that away with the others?
Gaurav: Also: huh. Is the blackberry syrup still pretty fresh?
 
Rhu:
Amadi shrugs and takes out her sandwich, eyeing the wiggly bit suspiciously.
rolling d20
 
(
Greibel takes the stone, examines it a bit, then stuffs it in the pack with the others.
11
 
)
RHU
=
Hang on, I need to try something.
11
 
Radek: Can't help you with that, I'm afraid. I'd offer to take you with me, but... you would regret it.
Rhu tries to walk to the bar by using the mask. ''(rolled 11 reality)'' He winds up walking right into it and bouncing off. Apparently his depth perception with the mask is a bit off. And bouncy.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You walk into the bar and bounce off.
 
Your depth perception is really... weird.
He catches himself ''(rolled 23 acrobatics)'' and tries again. This time he walks partway through the bar. ''(rolled 7 reality)''
And bouncy.
 
Radek: I /can/ fix the hole, though, if you'll point me over that way.
RHU
Apheori (GM): The syrup is very fresh.
(standing in the bar)
Gaurav: Do I bounce gently or rapidly?
Um.
Apheori (GM): It feels like... both?
 
George: Hah!
Rhu stops, then quickly walks back out, a little embarrassed to be messing with the laws of physics. He checks to see if Radek is pissed off with him for doing this, but he seems to be pretty involved with his conversation.
Well, sure. I'll take you there tomorrow, how's that sound?
 
File the paperwork, send out all the requisitions...
 
Rhu:
 
rolling d20+10 acrobatics check to catch myself and try to approach the bar again
RADEK
(
Well, I'd be lying if I said ''I'' never tried to build a doomsday device. It's hard to be grateful about the end of all things when it's actually happening, though.
13
 
)
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
+10
Yeah, no kidding. Nevermind all the idiots that live here, I have to live here too.
=
 
23
Radek pats George on the back. Softly - he couldn't make much of an impact even if he tried.
 
RADEK
Can't help you with that, I'm afraid. I'd offer to take you with me, but... you would regret it. I ''can'' fix the hole, though, if you'll point me over that way.
 
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Hah! Well, sure. I'll take you there tomorrow, how's that sound? File the paperwork, send out all the requisitions...
 
George mumbles incoherently.
George mumbles incoherently.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You approach the bar again. d20, please.
 
Gaurav: BSG: do you still have the other stones we found? You might want to take Amadi's stone from her, in case she vanishes.
RADEK
Rhu:
That would be great. I could use the time to work on this formula, anyways.
rolling d20
 
(
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
7
Great. I'll be here.
)
 
=
7
Bear Soup Guy: Did I have the stones?
Gaurav: I have two. I thought you had the other ... one? Two?
Bear Soup Guy: I might have
Oy, my memory is as bad as Greibel's
If I had it though then I still have it in my pack
Gaurav: I have rock-with-bird and rock-with-tree.
Apheori (GM): Do you keep an inventory in your journal?
Gaurav: Your inventory says "Two shiny stones"
Bear Soup Guy: Oh, so it does
So I guess I do have two, then
What was your original question? XD
Apheori (GM): Rhu: This time you go to the counter and it seems like you walk through it partway.
Rhu: Um.
Apheori (GM): You can keep walking or stop and/or backup.
BSG: He wants you to take the stone away from Amadi and add it to your pile.
Radek: That would be great. I could use the time to work on this formula, anyways.
Rhu stops, then quickly walks backward, a little embarrassed to be messing with the laws of physics. He checks to see if Radek is pissed off with him for doing this, but he seems to be pretty involved with his conversation.
Greibel: (To Amadi) Mind if I pocket that away with the others?
Ganelon: "Hey, Rhu! Stop violating natural laws!"
Rhu: For future reference (i.e. put this in your inventory!), Greibel's two stones have a stylised mask and a dragon on them respectively.
Gaurav: "Sorry Radek! Walking around in a mask while blind is hard!"
Amadi shrugs and takes out her sandwich, eyeing the wiggly bit suspiciously.
Gaurav: err that last was ooc
Bear Soup Guy: Got it
Bear Soup Guy takes the stone, examines it a bit, then stuffs it in the pack with the others
Bear Soup Guy: err IC
Ganelon: Did I have a stone?
I don't think so, but if I'm supposed to, it's not written down.
Apheori (GM): They probably have all of them, then.
Ganelon: Alright then.
George: Great. I'll be here.
Gaurav: Yeah, I think it was just Greibel and me collecting stones like it ain't even a thing.
Heh. "I'll be here" is such an RPG I'm-out-of-things-to-say line. I assume every time we try to talk to George he'll say something like "Come back tomorrow so I can take you to the Hole nearby."
Rhu tries to catch the barkeep's attention, and tries to buy a beer with the coins we found in the lab.
Bear Soup Guy: Gaur: XD
Radek stands up and glances about the room, surprised to see it still in relatively undamaged condition.
Radek stands up and glances about the room, surprised to see it still in relatively undamaged condition.
Ganelon: What's Gravy doing?
 
Frezak (GM): DUnno, I'm just about to leave.
 
Won't be back 'till an hour or so.
 
Apheori (GM): The barkeep accepts them, seems surprised, mentions something about Auberdeen, and gives Rhu a beer.
Rhu tries to catch the barkeep's attention, and tries to buy a beer with the coins they'd found in the lab.
Ellemerr: I sort of have an appointment I should be leaving for, too. But how long are we intending to go on anyway?
 
Gaurav: I can play for exactly two more hours, and then I gotta go listen to a man about a genome.
The barkeep accepts them, seems surprised, mentions something about Auberdeen, and gives Rhu a beer.
Ellemerr: Exactly two hours? So at... ten to half whatever-it-would-be-over there...
 
Gaurav: Yup! Class starts at half-past. I am consistently late to this class, but since I bothered to get up in time to get to school in time for D&D, I can actually be there five minutes *before* it starts instead of ten minutes after.
There's a loud screeching noise outside. It sounds like the bard Gravy removed earlier.
Ellemerr: Right. xD
 
Well... Amadi is likely to disappear at some point. But since this is nothing new...
The Gravedigger gets up to go check it out.
Apheori (GM): Indeed.
 
Would Gravy go to bed or something?
Meanwhile Rhu tries to approach the bar again and pick up his beer. ''(rolled 2 reality)'' This time he walks entirely through the bar and his beer. This time the innkeeper notices, and backs away.
Alternately... I dunno.
 
You guys sort out how you're handinling this.
Rhu apologizes profusely and accidentally ends up on the wrong side of the bar.
Ellemerr: He could go on being completely silent.
 
Doing the thinking thing. Gan has a picture.
RHU
Ganelon: Oh yes.
Er, I'll just...
Apheori (GM): He's a good thinker.
 
Ganelon: http://www.artofmtg.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Pensive-Minotaur-Art.jpg
RADEK
But in this continuity he's not a minotaur, sadly.
Rhu, what...
Gaurav: I'm going to be completely missing next week, so we should probably just power on through people's missing times. Otherwise we're going to have to stop a lot.
 
Oh, and you can keep going after two hours. Rhu can be wandering around behind you all with his new favourite mask.
Apheori (GM): Well, Radek found you all something to do.
Ganelon: Indeed, though we've got a day before we can do it. Or at least the remainder of one.
Radek himself is probably just going to work on the "fix holes without giving myself a nightmarish migraine" problem until then.
Gaurav: We should sleep at some point. Especially Gravy, if he really did use a Daily just then with the bard.
Ganelon: Daily item power. It's not nearly as big of a deal.
Gaurav: We could camp outdoors. Gives us a chance for random encounters and suchlike.
Ganelon: In fact, Radek's an artificer so he can recharge those for people.
Apheori (GM): You hear a bit of a screeching from outside.
Gaurav: Oh, okay!
Apheori (GM): In relation to the bard.
Gaurav: Do we have anything else we need to do in this town? We could just walk around and see if something comes up.
Bear Soup Guy: I'm sure there's something we need information about
Ganelon: The bard!
Wait, is this just his usual screeching or is he a zombie now?
I mean, we should probably shut him up regardless, but it's important to know.
Apheori (GM): Probably the usual.
Gaurav: BSG: I'd still like to know where we are. Actually, I'd still like a beer, so ...
Rhu approaches the bar again
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
2
)
=
2
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You have a beer. You just need to successfully pick it up.
Also you walk through the bar.
The barkeep backs away.
Rhu apologizes profusely to the barkeep, and accidentally ends up on the wrong side of the bar.
Rhu: Er, I'll just ...
Bear Soup Guy: "I think you've had enough"
Radek: Rhu, what...
Gaurav: BSG: XD
Rhu is looking very embarrassed now.
Rhu is looking very embarrassed now.
Radek: No, never mind. You can actually cause less damage this way.
 
Carry on.
RADEK
Ganelon: I have a strong suspicion that he'll prove Radek wrong.
No, never mind. You can actually cause less damage this way. Carry on.
Rhu tries to poke at the bar with one finger, then turns to grin sheepishly at the barkeep before trying to walk out through the bar again.
 
Apheori (GM): Quite likely.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I have a strong suspicion that he'll prove Radek wrong.
Rhu:
 
rolling d20
Rhu tries to poke at the bar with one finger, then turns to grin sheepishly at the barkeep before trying to walk out through the bar again. ''(rolled 1 reality)''
(
 
1
RHU
)
He-
=
 
1
Then he falls through the floor, waving his arms frantically, spilling beer everywhere.
Gaurav: oh YEAH
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: This time you fall through the floor.
INNKEEPER
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Um...
Gaurav: May I wave my arms frantically as I disappear through the floor?
 
Apheori (GM): Yes.
 
Rhu: He--
INT. Horrible nightmare realm
Rhu vanishes through the floor, arms flailing wildly.
 
Ellemerr: Spilling beer everywhere?
Rhu finds himself in some sort of basement. It's kind of nightmarish. There are some tables and a vaguely cylindrical thing with some angles and a prism shape at the top. With some glowing bits. Also weird vials and tanks and stuff. Grotesque things poke out of walls.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You're in some sort of basement. It's kind of nightmarish. There are weird vials and tanks and stuff. Grotesque things poke out of walls.
 
He spills beer everywhere.
He manages to land on his feet. They're very hairy. Hairy muppet feet. Then beer rains down on his head, so he tries to catch some of it, except then he realises he's no longer holding the glass. ''(rolled 25 acrobatics)''
Rhu: No wait
 
rolling d20+10 acrobatics check to catch all the beer in my glass as I fall
RHU
(
Um. Um. Okay.
15
 
)
Rhu ignores his feet for now, and stares about the basement. ''(rolled 31 perception)'' Everything is really hairy. And weird. And full of strange experiments. It's like a nightmare, and oddly organic. There don't seem to be any ways to get back upstairs, aside from perhaps a chute on the far wall, barely big enough for a man.
+10
 
=
There are also no doors, or at least nothing recognisable as doors. Given how the walls look almost like membranes, it's a bit hard to tell. There's also a sort of mesh screen looking out on utter blackness on one side. And a bowl of noodles sitting in the middle of the floor.
25
 
Apheori (GM): Meanwhile the barkeep says, "Um..."
Something snakes out of the floor and grabs a noodle. It looks like... more floor. ''(rolled 25 nature)''
Rhu:
 
rolling d20+10 acrobatics check to land on my feet
Rhu takes his mask on and off to see if that helps any, but without it he can't see a thing. Everything is just a horrible white.
(
 
11
RHU
)
+10
=
21
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You catch some of the beer, except then you realise you're no longer holding the glass.
So it's all in your hand.
You land on your feet. They're very hairy.
Hairy muppet feet.
Rhu: Um.
Um.
Okay.
Rhu ignores the feet for now, and stares about the basement he's in.
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception check
(
17
)
+14
=
31
Apheori (GM): The rest of you: The barkeep asks y'all if Rhu is perhaps a bit... touched?
Gaurav: When you say it's all in my hand ...
Apheori (GM): I mean you're holding a glass of beer except there's no glass.
Bear Soup Guy: He's got the whoooooooole beer, in his hands
Gaurav: BSG: HA!
Greibel: (to Barkeep) Touched...By An Angel?
Apheori (GM): The basement is really hairy. And weird. And full of strange experiments. It's like a neightmare.
Amadi: (to barkeep) Yeah. Tentacles. Hazz - I mean, [says this world's name for him].
Apheori (GM): The barkeep asks where angels usually touch people.
(Vitoi)
Radek: In the brain, clearly.
Gaurav: He pulls out a doll from behind the counter.
Ellemerr: I totally knew that. *shifty eyes*
Apheori (GM): The barkeep looks concerned and asks if he needs to expect any more of this.
Radek: ...For as long as we're here, yes.
Gaurav: That ingrate. We cleared his bar of bards, didn't we? What's a little walking-through-walls between friends?
Radek: Well, I say "we".
Apheori (GM): He says, "Oh dear."
Rhu quietly looks around for staircases or any means of possibly getting back upstairs from this basement.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: You see a strange kind of chute you might be able to climb up.
Gaurav: Any doors?
Ganelon: Beware the chute.
Apheori (GM): None recognisable as doors.
Ganelon: It may be waste disposal.
Apheori (GM): Some... strange membranes.
Gaurav: "chute" is a really rude word in Hindi
ooo, membranes
Apheori (GM): A sort of mesh screen looking out on utter lackness.
blackness*
A bowl of noodles sitting in the middle of the floor.
Rhu takes his mask on and off to see if that helps him see things better/brighter/less.
Apheori (GM): You notice something snake out of the floor and grab a noodle.
Rhu: Well fuck.
(under his breath)
(under his breath)
Apheori (GM): With the mask off, everything is just a horrible white.
Well fuck.
Gaurav: White?!
 
Apheori (GM): White.
 
Gaurav: That might actually be preferable, given things snaking through the floor and all.
INT. Dorgin town inn
rolling d20+9 nature check to see if I can identify the snakelike thing
 
(
INNKEEPER
16
Is he perhaps a bit... touched?
)
 
+9
GREIBEL
=
(to innkeeper)
25
Touched...By An Angel?
rolling d20+5 stealth on over to the chute
 
(
AMADI
13
(to innkeeper)
)
Yeah. Tentacles. Hazz - I mean, Vitoi.
+5
 
=
INNKEEPER
18
(pulling a doll out from behind the counter)
Apheori (GM): It appears to have been a piece of floor.
And where do angels usually touch people?
MAsk on or off?
 
Gaurav: Mask on.
RADEK
Apheori (GM): The floor seems to move away as you walk (as a texture, it stays level), and you get to the chute.
In the brain, clearly.
It's like ripples in a hairy carpet.
 
Snakey ripples.
INNKEEPER
(putting the doll away and being slightly more serious)
Do I need to expect any more of this? I'm not liable.
 
RADEK
...For as long as we're here, yes. Well, I say "we".
 
INNKEEPER
Oh dear.
 
 
INT. Horrible nightmare realm
 
Rhu tries to sneak over to the chute ''(rolled 18 stealth)''. As he walks, the patterns in the floor seem almost to move away, like ripples in a hairy carpet. Snakey ripples.
 
Hairy snakey ripples.
Hairy snakey ripples.
Gaurav: I take it Baileys and blueberry syrup is really something, huh?
 
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Other than that, nothing seems to notice.
Apheori (GM): Doesn't go very well together.
 
Baileys is better with baileys, frankly.
Rhu tries to stealthily ''(rolled 23 stealth)'' climb up the chute ''(rolled 19 acrobatics)''. It's slippery and horribly textured, with ribs and squishiness in all the wrong places.
Gaurav: Creamy, beige. What's not to like?
 
Rhu:
He gets partway up, falls partway down, and makes a muffled clatter.  
rolling d20+10 acrobatics to climb up the chute
 
(
Rhu sits quietly until he's sure there's no response to the clatter, then tries again. ''(rolled 14 acrobatics)'' This time he doesn't even get as far as before before sliding back out.
9
 
)
Rhu looks up to see if there's any light at the top of the chute.  
+10
 
=
RHU
19
(whispering)
Apheori (GM): The syrup is better with mountain dew.
Hello? Is someone up there?
Rhu:
 
rolling d20+5 stealth to do it stealthily
Silence. Then, in a long low whisper:
(
 
18
SOMETHING HORRIBLE
)
Rhuuuu...
+5
 
=
The voice is low and sweet, like a fungus that eats flies. Except these flies are horrible and huge, and the fungus is actually something else entirely.
23
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu gets partway up, falls partway down, and makes a muffled clatter.
Rhu pointedly does not respond. He realises the voice is being projected from above the chute, but it's not actually coming from there. He doesn't know where it's coming from. ''(rolled 34 perception (natural 20))'' He feels a strong urge to remove the mask.
Rhu sits quietly until he's sure there's no response to the clatter, then tries again.
 
Rhu:
He resists, and sits quietly at the base of the chute, his eyes flicking first upwards and then quickly around the room, waiting to see what happens next.
rolling d20+10 acrobatics up
 
(
 
4
INT. Dorgin town inn
)
 
+10
There's some more screeching from outside.
=
 
14
Amadi takes Greibel's hand and attempts to walk him outside without giving any explanation for her actions.
Gaurav: oh ffs
 
Apheori (GM): You don't get very far.
Greibel tags along exasperatedly.
Rhu looks up to see if there's any light at the top of the chute. "Hello?", he whispers, "Is someone up there?"
 
Apheori (GM): Do the rest of you want to do anything?
Radek ignores it and gets to pondering. Fist-inside-beard hardcore PONDERING.
Ganelon: Er...
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Silence. Then, in a long low whisper, "Rhuuuu..."
 
Bear Soup Guy: Do we hear him calling?
EXT. Dorgin, outside the inn - night
Apheori (GM): Nope.
 
Bear Soup Guy: I assume we're all just thinking "Oh, Rhu's in trouble again. He'll show up in a couple hours."
Amadi goes to the bard. He's standing in a deep grave screeching like a harpy. In the screeches, there seems to be a tune, but it's vague.
Apheori (GM): XD
 
Gaurav rolls eyes
The Gravedigger appears to have gone back inside.
Gaurav: This is what comes from accepting masks from godlings. Let that be a lesson to you, kids.
 
Rhu will NOT respond to the voice, but will try to determine which direction it's coming from.
GREIBEL
Ganelon: Radek will stay in the tavern so long as it's a relatively orderly place to sit down and think about complex theorems.
(singing, mostly in tune with the screeches)
Rhu:
''My name is Lon Chaney
rolling d20+14 perception check on the voice
''I was in some movies
(
''You probably remember me for my hideous face...
20
 
)
+14
=
34
Gaurav: yay!
Ganelon: It's as good a place as any, especially if he's waiting on Rhu to come back.
Ellemerr: ... You sure that's a good thing to roll high on? :P
Apheori (GM): The voice is being projected from above the shoot, but it's not actually coming from there. You don't know where it's coming from.
You feel a strong urge to remove the mask.
Gaurav: I'm kinda hoping that Rhu can go all "hmm, that slightly thick edge to an otherwise normal Thoraci accent tells me that you are male, elf, 23-25 years old, with brown hair and carrying two weapons, injured in the knee in Afghanistan ..."
RESIST URGE
Apheori (GM): Gan: The tavern is orderly and fairly quiet. it's like folks are just basking in the quiet.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
Gaurav: Gravy is wandering around taking people's measurements "just in case".
Apheori (GM): Oh, details about the voice itself, eh? It's low and sweet, like a fungus that eats flies. That's what it reminds you of. Except these flies are horrible and huge, and the fungus is actually something else entirely.
I like that. Since Frezak had to go, let's say Gravy really is doing that.
Gaurav: Like treacle.
Apheori (GM): Folks in tavern: Sometimes you hear an odd screetch from the bard outside.
Amadi: It sounds oddly familiar.
Ellemerr: What, the bard?
Ganelon: This tavern is just waiting to explode into conflict.
Apheori (GM): Yeah.
Ellemerr: Okay, I can check on the bard.
Ganelon: But I will savor the momentary peace and sit down to think.
Fist-on-chin hardcore PONDERING.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: You need to take Greibel with you.
Ganelon: Well, more like fist-inside-beard.
Apheori (GM): PONDERING.
Do you ponder anything in particular today?
Gaurav: Some day we will know the quiet peace of a pipe and a pleasant conversation in a sun-lit bar by a mountain, but today is not that day.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: What do you do?
Gaurav: Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Amadi takes Greibel's hand and attempts to walk him outside without giving any explenation for her actions.
Gaurav: omigosh there is a list: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Pinky_and_the_Brain#Are_You_Pondering_What_I.27m_Pondering.3F
Greibel tags along exasperatedly
Apheori (GM): Amadi and Greibel: You go to the bard. He's standing in a deep grave screetching like a harpy. There's supposed to be a tune there.
Rhu sits quietly in the chute, his eyes flicking first upwards and then quickly around the room, waiting to see what happens next.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: Do you sing the song the tune would go to? Greibel: Do you recognise it too?
Greibel, Amadi: Either of you, feel free to make up what it is.
Gaurav: This is what comes of racist music making, racist music man.
brb
Apheori (GM): Rhu: Nothing happens.
Ellemerr juggles bananas.
Apheori (GM): A wall oozes a bit.
Ellemerr: Sorry. *shifty eyes*
Apheori (GM): BANANAS.
You know what you get when you juggle bananas?
Ellemerr: I do.
Amadi juggles bananas.
Amadi juggles bananas.
Ellemerr: I mean...
 
"No, what do you get when you juggle bananas?"
Greibel suddenly turns into a gorilla wearing a pink tutu. This messes up the singing slightly.
Greibel sings: "My name is Lon Chaney / I was in some movies / You probably remember me for my hideous face..."
 
Apheori (GM): Greibel suddenly turns into a gorilla.
GREIBEL
Greibel: RAAAAAAAAR
RAAAAAAAAR.
Ganelon: "Do you ponder anything in particular today?"
 
Sorry, missed this.
Amadi also sings the whole circus music bit that's supposed to go with this. It includes a lot of trumpets and stuff.
Apheori (GM): This messes up the singing slightly.
 
Ganelon: Yes, Radek ponders what he's been pondering for the last few days. How to close a hole.
Greibel twirls hula hoops as a gorilla while singing.
Apheori (GM): Roll arcana.
 
Ganelon: Something about three pieces and a lock, as I recall.
The previously screeching bard shrinks back into the hole and goes horribly silent.
rolling 1d20+12
 
(
Amadi throws the bananas at the bard. He flinches away horribly.
6
 
)
Greibel goes back to normal, accompanied by a popping sound.
+12
 
=
 
18
INT. Horrible nightmare realm
Amadi also sings the whole circus music bit that's supposed to go with this.
 
Amadi: (It includes a lot of trumpets and stuff.)
Quietly, stealthily, Rhu tries to climb up the chute again. ''(rolled 16 acrobatics)'' As he does, he feels a presense getting closer.
Greibel twirls hula hoops as a gorilla while singing
 
Apheori (GM): The shrieking bard shrinks into the hole and becoms horribly silent.
The attempt fails, and whatever it is hears him as he tumbles out. ''(rolled 9 stealth)'' He feels it. In his kidneys.
Ellemerr: Your wearing a pink tutu, too. I mean, the gorilla is.
 
Apheori (GM): Gan: Aiight, thanks.
Rhu freezes, then pauses mid-freeze, looking confused.
Bear Soup Guy: Of course
 
Ganelon: Sorry, I have like three people talking to me on Skype while this is going on.
He steps quietly away from the chute.
Apheori (GM): Ach. >.<
 
Ellemerr: And I need to brb.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: d20, please.
Bear Soup Guy: Sorry, I had to go clean up cat puke as well
rolling 1d20
(
7
)
=
7
Apheori (GM): Eww.
Okay.
Apheori (GM) curls up in bed with a bottle of baileys.
Ellemerr: Right. I'm back. Probably. Sort of.
Gaurav: Me too! Except more so.
Apheori (GM): Would you like to do anything else with the bard?
Ellemerr: I have no idea. Sorry.
Gaurav quietly, stealthily, Rhu tries to climb up the chute again.
Apheori (GM): Amadi: Eat his brain, give him a sense of music, ignore him, take his story, have him dance with the gorrilla?
Gaurav: Give him a sense of music++
Apheori (GM): Rhu: acrobatics
Rhu:
rolling d20+10 acrobatics check to climb the chute
(
6
)
+10
=
16
Apheori (GM): Rhu: It's getting cloooser.
Rhu:
rolling d20+5 stealth to do it quietly
(
4
)
+5
=
9
Gaurav: Ooo.
Apheori (GM): Your climbingattempts fail, and whatever it is hears you. You feel it.
Rhu freezes.
Apheori (GM): In your KIDNEYS.
Rhu pauses mid-freeze, looking confused.
Apheori (GM): Yes, alien elves have kidneys.
Gaurav: Then why haven't we had to go to the toilet for the last three weeks?
Apheori (GM): Because you have good kidneys.
Ellemerr: Snrk.
Gaurav: Oh.
Apheori (GM): Also because it's just gotten left out of the story when you did usually.
Amadi throws the bananas at the bard.
Apheori (GM): Greibel: You finish the song and can stop being a gorilla if you want.
Up to you.
Gaurav: We went in to cover our feet from time to time.
Apheori (GM): The bard is hit by bananas and flinches away horribly.
Greibel goes back to normal, accompanied by a popping sound
Ganelon: Bananas! Hsssss~!
Gaurav: Did Rhu's last climbing attempt help him make any progress, or is he still at the bottom of the chute?
Apheori (GM): He's partway up.
Gaurav: And the voice appears to be coming DOWN the chute towards me?
Apheori (GM): Yup.
Gaurav: Can I see any sort of opening yet?
Apheori (GM): Nope.
Gaurav: Okay. Then Rhu climbs back down and steps quietly out of the chute.
rolling d20+10 acrobatics
(
13
)
+10
=
23
rolling d20+5 stealth
(
14
)
+5
=
19
I gotta leave in about an hour btw.
Apheori (GM): Rhu finally manages to climb up the chute.
Gaurav: Er.
Apheori (GM): And comes out in another room shaped like the tavern, but which is definitely not the tavern he left.
Gaurav: He was trying to climb down that last time.
But I guess he might have changed his mind?
Apheori (GM): Oh, you idn't need to roll for that.
Sorry, you're back in the basement.
Everythng is hairy.
Everythng is hairy.
Gaurav: "Everythng is hairy." should be the official motto of this game. And it looks like Frezak is back?
 
Is there anything in the basement I can hide behind if a sinister being comes down the chute after me?
Rhu hides behind a hairy table.
Apheori (GM): Frezak is hairy.
 
Some desks, a strange... thing...
The hairy table blinks at Rhu and looks vaguely surprised.
Frezak (GM): Not really, I shaved.
 
Gaurav: describe thing
RHU
Apheori (GM): Shaved EVERYTHING?
(to the table)
Gaurav: Or just the yak?
Shh.
Frezak (GM): As far as you know.
 
Apheori (GM): Thing is vaguely cylindrical with some angles and a prism shape at the top. There are some glowing bits.
He puts a finger to his lips.
IT looks a bit organic.
 
Gaurav: Hmm.
The table opens a few more eyes and those blink at the finger as well.
I'm going to go hide behind the desk and see what happens.
 
Apheori (GM): And it's hairy.
Rhu crouches behind the table and waits, listening intently. ''(rolled 23 perception)''
Rhu hides behind the hairy desk.
 
The hairy desk blinks at Rhu and looks vaguely surprised.
He hears whispers from the black beyond the mesh lattice, and from behind some walls/membranes. Some are saying his name. Others... other things. It sounds like they've found something. Lost other things. Having lunch. Very sinister.
Rhu: (to the desk) Shh. (puts one finger to his lips)
 
Gaurav: How does a desk blink?
Apheori (GM): The desk opens a few more eyes and those blink at his finger as well.
Frezak (GM): A GORILLA?
Ellemerr: Yeah. Sue me.
Ganelon: This whole situation has turned quite hairy.
Apheori (GM): >.<
Ganelon: We're going to need a rugged hero to pull through on this one.
Gaurav crouches behind the desk on the side away from the chute and waits, listening intently.
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception
(
9
)
+14
=
23
Apheori (GM): d20
Gaurav: That's all Rhu is going to do for the next 10-15m, so if you guys want to go do something else ...
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
7
)
=
7
Gaurav: Um.
Apheori (GM): Okay.
Rhu hears whispers. Some are saying his name. Others... other things. It sounds like they've found something. Lost other things. Having lunch. Very sinister.
Left-handed.
Left-handed.
Frezak (GM): WHere's Gravy?
 
Ganelon gasps in horror.
RHU
Apheori (GM): Gravy is in the tavern with Radek.
(whispers, to the table)
Ganelon: You and I are still- yeah.
Do you hear that too?
Radek is doing some fist-to-chin hardcore pondering about holes.
 
We did witness Rhu start passing through solid objects, and then the floor.
The table rumbles and opens a few more eyes. It's somewhat covered in eyes now.
This might have been Amadi's fault, but then, that isn't saying a lot.
 
Apheori (GM): She did give him a mask.
Rhu gives the table a knowing glance in whichever eye is closest to him and does the "shh" hand gesture again. Then he goes back to listening quietly.
Gaurav: Are the voices coming from the chute as well?
 
Apheori (GM): It's messing with his depth-perception. In perhaps a few too many dimensions.
The eyes all intently follow the movement of the gesture.
The voices are mostly coming from the black beyond the mesh latice, and from behind some walls/membranes.
 
Rhu: (whispers, to the desk) Do you hear that too?
Rhu goes back to listening and waiting.
Bear Soup Guy: XD
 
I love this game
Some 10-15 minutes pass. A tank and a wall fixture also open several eyes and watch him. Hairy eyes.
Apheori (GM): The desk rumbles and opens a few more eyes.
 
It's somewhat covered in eyes now.
Rhu gets out from behind the desk and walks around the room, looking closely for doors or any other way out of here. He finds nothing, and so tries to separate some wall membranes with his fingers to see if it responds to touch, and to see what's underneath them.
Gaurav: A small drawer slides open, revealing pencils, erasers, two paper clips, three eyes and a pair of lips.
 
Apheori (GM): Rhu's still hiding?
The membrane peels away under his nails he poke a finger through. There doesn't seem to be anything behind it, just empty space.
Rhu gives the desk a knowing glance in whichever eye is closest to him and does the "shh" hand gesture again. He goes back to listening quietly.
 
Apheori (GM): The eyes all follow the movement of the gesture intently.
He makes the hole bigger and peels back a section of membrane. Behind it is another room very much like the one he's in. A wall eyes him. Literally.
Gaurav: When you say "hairy" ...
 
Apheori (GM): Everything is covered in hair.
He pulls the membrane back more and rips open a medium-sized hole which he might be able to fit through if he forced it. ''(rolled 15 strength)''
Including the eyes.
 
Gaurav: Do you mean furry, short human hair, or long(er) human hair?
More eyes in the wall watch curiously.
Gaurav screams
 
Apheori (GM): It's like fur, but all at exact right angles to the surface, unless it collides with other bits.
Something licks his foot.
Gaurav: Or like bacterial cilia?
 
Heh cool
Rhu ignores the footlicking and squeezes through the hole. ''(rolled 27 acrobatics)''
Is it coloured?
 
Apheori (GM): It's the same colour as whatever it's coming off.
The room grins at him with teeth. Grins opening up in rows of hairy teeth spiraling up into the hairy ceiling.
Gaurav: Is it undulating? Is there a wind?
 
Apheori (GM): It normally stays still.
RHU
Sometimes bits pass through the floor, and it all moves like wind is pushing it...
Um.
Sometimes those bits eat noodles out of the bowl.
 
Gaurav: Ooo, nice.
In a terror, Rhu squeezes back through the hole into the room he came from. ''(rolled 28 acrobatics)'' Everything feels kind of weird, and he winds up going too far and trips over a table. ''(rolled 5 reality)''
Yeah, Rhu goes back to listening and waiting.
 
Apheori (GM): Gravy: Do you care that everyone besides Radek is missing?
The floor licks him.
You know Greibel and Amadi just went outside.
 
Ganelon: "Roll Charisma to care. +2 alignment bonus."
Rhu calms down a bit and tries to stretch open a membrane on another wall. ''(rolled 3 strength (natural 1))'' Nothing really happens, but it seems to have something behind it.
Gaurav: What time of day is it, btw?
 
Apheori (GM): I guess evening.
Gaurav: I'm imagining afternoon, but I might be wrong.
Ah thanks.
Apheori (GM): Early evening, then.
Gaurav: Somebody do something, or Rhu is going to get back to hogging all the attention.
go*
Frezak (GM): Not really.
Gravy has come to terms that all kinds of shit happens regardless of his desires or actions.
Might as well have a shirt that says 'Fukkit"
Ganelon: I don't mind Rhu hogging the attention, especially since I'm quite busy elsewhere.
And it does make sense that Radek is trying to puzzle out holes.
He just promised to fix one tomorrow.
Apheori (GM): Radek: Gimme another arcana.
Amadi, Greibel: Now what?
Ganelon:
rolling 1d20+12
(
19
)
+12
=
31
Haha!
Ellemerr: Dancing?
Ganelon: Or perhaps I should say "Eureka!"
Bear Soup Guy: Dancing!
Ellemerr: Dancing, then.
Apheori (GM): Radek: So the question, perhaps, is pieces of what? What does it take to close a hole, really? And for that matter, what does it take to open one? The question to one should be the answer to the other...
Of course, if you could just make a lack of hole, something with no hole at all, well, wouldn't that be great?
Or something.
Ganelon: I'm not about to discount the possibility.
Gaurav: Can we learn anything from Gravy's monster that fought with the thing that came from the Hole?
Ganelon: "Behold! I have created... stuff!"
Apheori (GM): Point is, it's progress!
Stuff!
Ganelon: "It is the opposite of a hole in every conceivable way!"
Apheori (GM): "It looks like... normal stuff."
Amadi, Greibel: The porridge dances with you.
Gaurav: Is it just me, or have the Holes always appeared near trees?
Ganelon: *Scoffs*
"This 'normal stuff' is exactly what we need to eliminate the holes on a conceptual level."
"They will cease to be holes. They will cease to be anything, unless I apply an excess of stuff."
Apheori (GM): "And then they'll be stuff!"
"Right?"
Gravy: Can they learn anything from you... you mean the codrichun thing, right, Gaurav?
Ganelon: "No, don't be ridiculous. Then we'll end up with a gravitational singularity that will atomize this entire planet."
Apheori (GM): "I want it by tuesday."
Gaurav: I do! The Codrichun thing.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: As you sit there listening, another desk and a chair also open several eyes and watch you.
Gaurav: A planet is a small price to pay for stability.
Apheori (GM): Hairy eyes.
Frezak (GM): I don't understand what I'm being asked.
Gaurav: Is the chair comfortable?
I mean, does it look comfortable.
Apheori (GM): It's a hairy chair full of eyeballs.
Frezak: I think they want to know if it discovered anything, or can tell you.
Frezak (GM): Gods no.
Gaurav: Okay, I'm going to say 15 minutes have elapsed since I hit behind the desk. I guess there haven't been any left-handed voices from the chute?
Apheori (GM): That voice hasn't come back, no.
Gaurav: Maybe the monster was some kind of super zombie?
Frezak (GM): I can't talk to Codrichun, and all it does is just endlessly try to crawl out the Abyss.
It doesn't go around doing things.
Ganelon: Codrichun, I think, isn't related to the holes beyond a shared appetite for... everything.
Frezak (GM): Or conversing or communicating to anything.
Rhu gets out from behind the desk and walks around the room, looking closely for doors or any other way out of here.
Frezak (GM): EH, he doesn't have appetite.
Apheori (GM): Aiight.
Rhu:
rolling d20+14 perception
(
8
)
+14
=
22
Ganelon: But you're summoning his hunger!
Apheori (GM): Rhu notices nothing new, but the membranes might be openable... or cutable.
Gaurav: Does this mean that the monster was definitely "something", and not, say, the Hole manifesting itself in some way.
Unless the Hole is also "something".
Frezak (GM): No, not hunger.
I'm summoning an aspect of something that wants destruction.
Apheori (GM): Which monster?
I thought we were talking about codrichun.
Gaurav: The thing Codrichun fought with.
Apheori (GM): That was... something else.
Ganelon: We were in the realm of the gods.
Could have been a lot of things
Rhu tries to separate the membranes with my fingers to see if it responds to touch, and to see what's underneath them.
Gaurav: How much light is there in this basement with the mask on?
Apheori (GM): There's light everywhere, but it's not a whole lot.
On the other hand, everything kind oflooks the same with the mask on.
In terms of lighting.
Rhu: The membrane peels away under your nails or something and you poke a finger through.
Gaurav: Ooo. What's under the membrane?
Ganelon: Typically? Bad stuff.
Frezak (GM): "realm" suggests organisation.
Apheori (GM): You don't feel anything under it, just empty space. Do you make the hole bigger and look through?
Gaurav: Yes!
Apheori (GM): YOU MAKE A HOLE AND LOOK INTO...
Another room very much like the one you're in.
A wall eyes you.
Gaurav: As long as Rhu doesn't eye me.
I stick two fingers into the hole and try to make it bigger.
Ganelon: Oh, oh, there's a scene for this.
Even if these are probably awful fleshy membranes rather than what I'm thinking.
Gaurav: http://content.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20040920,00.html is what I'm thinking of. But with fingers.
Ganelon: I suppose you haven't likely watched Titan A.E., have you?
Apheori (GM): Roll strength to rip huge hole.
Gaurav: I might have? I'm not sure.
eeks
Rhu:
rolling d20+2 strength
(
13
)
+2
=
15
Gaurav: I'm going to be gentle though.
I don't want to hurt the membranes.
Especially if I'm *inside* whoever these membranes belong to.
Apheori (GM): You ripe a medium-sized hole which you might be able to fit through if you tried.
More eyes in the wall watch you curiously.
Something licks your food.
foot*
Gaurav:
rolling d20+10 acrobatics to squeeze through the hole
(
17
)
+10
=
27
I ignore the footlicking.
Apheori (GM): You squeeze through the hole.
The room grins at you with teeth.
Grins opening up in rows of teeth spiraling up into the ceiling.
Rhu: Um.
Apheori (GM): Rhu: D20
Rhu tries to squeeze back through the hole into the room I came from.
Rhu:
rolling d20
(
5
)
=
5
Apheori (GM): Acrobatics to squeeze.
Rhu:
rolling d20+10 acrobatics to squeeze
(
17
)
+10
=
27
+1 terror
Apheori (GM): Everything feels kind of weird and you wind up going too far and trip over a desk.
The floor licks you.
Gaurav: Was .. was the room I just entered hairy as well?
Hairy teeth?
Apheori (GM): EVERYTHING is hairy.
Teeth.
Gaurav: Okay phew.
Apheori (GM): Eyeballs.
Your own feet.
Gaurav: My hands?
Apheori (GM): Yes.
Gaurav: Okay. Also phew.
Fine. So. Teeth in the next room. Okay.
I'll try the stretching-the-membranes thing on another wall.
rolling d20+2 strength attack
(
1
)
+2
=
3
Apheori (GM): The one seems to have something behind it. You can't get through.
Whispers ask for lettuce.
Whispers ask for lettuce.
Rhu: (to the nearest eye) What's behind here?
 
I'll try to get through again if I may.
RHU
Apheori (GM): The eye blinks at you.
(to the nearest eye)
Gaurav:
What's behind here?
rolling d20+2 strength check
 
(
The eye blinks at him.
18
 
)
Rhu tries to open the membrane again. ''(rolled 20 strength)'' He clears it away and is suddenly faced with an enormous red toad eye, staring at him, through him, into him.
+2
 
=
The eye stares at him.
20
 
"The eye winks leeringly"
RHU
I've gotta go in about 10 mins
Hi. Were you the one asking me for lettuce just now?
but this has been AWESOME
 
Apheori (GM): You clear away the membrane and are faced with an enormous eye.
The eye continues to stare at him.
Gaurav: How enormous?
 
Rhu waves at the eye
 
Apheori (GM): Kind of enormous
INT. Dorgin town inn
.
 
The eye stares at you.
Radek ponders what been pondering for the last few days. How to close a hole. It is some fist-to-chin hardcore pondering. ''(rolled 18, 31 arcana)''
Gaurav: A little uncertainly
 
Rhu: Hi. Were you the one asking me for lettuce just now?
Previously, he had deduced that a key was something about three pieces and a lock.
Apheori (GM): The eye continues to stare at you.
 
Rhu checks for eyelids
It occurs to him that the question, perhaps, is pieces of what? What does it take to close a hole, really? And for that matter, what does it take to open one? The question to one should be the answer to the other... Of course, if he could just make a lack of hole, something with no hole at all, well, that could be a way around a whole other problem entirely...
Gaurav: What colour is the iris? Does it look like an elf or human or animal eye?
 
Ganelon: I'm going to take two guesses.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): I'm not about to discount the possibility.
1. Cat
 
2. Goat
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "Behold! I have created... stuff! It is the opposite of a hole in every conceivable way!"
Apheori (GM): It's red, but like a toad.
 
And hairy.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': "It looks like... normal stuff."
Ganelon: That's a good kind of eye too.
 
Very groovy.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): *Scoffs* "This 'normal stuff' is exactly what we need to eliminate the holes on a conceptual level. They will cease to be holes. They will cease to be anything, unless I apply an excess of stuff."
Gaurav: The definitive guide to animal eye shapes: http://www.koryoswrites.com/nonfiction/the-functions-of-different-pupil-shapes/
 
If I step away from the membranes, will they close?
'''''Apheori (GM)''': "And then they'll be stuff! Right?"
Can I shove the chair in between to keep them open?
 
Apheori (GM): You ripped holes in them. They sort of dangle sadly.
'''''Ganelon''' (Radek): "No, don't be ridiculous. Then we'll end up with a gravitational singularity that will atomize this entire planet."
Gaurav: Okay. Um.
 
Are you guys going to keep on playing? If so, Rhu could go to sleep or keep futilely getting out of this membrane basement room place thing.
'''''Apheori (GM)''': "I want it by tuesday."
Ganelon: Good question.
 
Ellemerr: I'm, er, dancing.
Amadi and Greibel come back inside and start dancing.
Gaurav: I gotta run, so I'll let you all decide. If Rhu falls asleep, he'll sit beside the hole, wait for the sinister voice to reappear, but fall asleep in the waiting. If he keeps trying things ... then yeah, he does that, and Apheori and I can work them out before next time.
 
I'm out of town from Sunday through Friday next week, so I can join in on Saturday or not at all.
</screenplay>
Thanks for a REALLY FUN game today everybody, and see you all in a couple of weeks!
 
Bear Soup Guy: Bye Gaur!
{{holes nav
Apheori (GM): Aiight, I'ma go stare off into space.
|previous=Holes/Session 31
Unless someone particularly wants me to do something else.
|next=Holes/Session 33
Bear Soup Guy: I'm okay with ending, it's been a good session
}}
Ganelon: Yeah.
I got a nice chat in with George and that's all I was really expecting.
It was nice to set up a future goal too.
Bear Soup Guy: Should we try to do a session sometime while Gaur is away or try Saturday?
Apheori (GM): Can everyone do saturday?
Ganelon: Same start time?
As long as it isn't a particularly drawn out session, yeah. Not because I have plans in the evening but because I'll be getting really tired.
Bear Soup Guy: Yeah I'll likely be able to do a morning session
Gaurav: Is that this Saturday or next Saturday?
I'd rather not this Saturday, but if everybody else wants to ... I can definitely do next Saturday.
Bear Soup Guy: Next Saturday then?
Or just next Sunday I guess
Gaurav: oh right. that's fine too.
Apheori (GM): SATURDAY OR SUNDAY?
Gaurav: Sunday Sunday Sunday!
This is September 21, right?
Bear Soup Guy: Yep!
Gaurav: Yay! I will see you all then.
Bear Soup Guy: Right, bye all!
</pre>

Latest revision as of 04:50, 1 March 2015

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Session 32 (raw log) (Overview)
INT. Dorgin town inn - Evening
The inn is a standard fantasy inn with tavern with a really bad bard. Folks throw things at the bard occasionally. The innkeeper is also glaring at the bard, but not doing anything other than that.
The bard is singing horribly. George is in the corner wearing a pair of industrial earmuffs. The sort folks use when jackhammering a sidewalk.
The party enters, the Gravedigger carrying Rhu, Greibel petting the porridge.
The bard starts singing about them. It's kind of insulting. And screechy. And a bit waily. It's a bit racist, but the racism is mitigated by his having no idea what race most of them are. So it's more along the lines of log-man hoisted by a dog-man, big big big dog-man, all about are soggy men, loiging in a bog-man... then it dissolves into a largely unintelligible mess.
RHU
(under his breath)
...what is going on?
The Gravedigger heads up to the bar and beckons over the innkeeper.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Oy. Is the bard over there important somehow? Son of some lord or something? Is there any reason I can't just toss him out?
INNKEEPER
Ugh, no. We don't even know where the guy came from. Bouncer gave up removing him days ago since he just keeps coming back, but if you can get rid of him...
(indicating Rhu)
What's with that stick of a guy? You not intending to use his boniness as a weapon, are you? We have a size limit on allowed weapons, you know, so I'm going to need that answer to be no.
RHU
(under his breath)
What bony elf?
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Nah, he's a passenger.
The Gravedigger puts Rhu on a chair and goes after the bard instead, who runs away as soon as the Gravedigger comes near him, singing faster and louder.
Other folks in the inn start to watch with interest.
Rhu realises that he's at a table and leans onto it.
RHU
(to the empty table)
Excuse me, have you seen a bony elf around here somewhere? I think that terrible singer is looking for one.
Greibel walks over to Rhu, confused as to why the avenger is talking to a table with nobody sitting at it.
The Gravedigger shoots the blade of the shovel off at the bard with a loud SPOIIIIING, bonking him in the back of the head and knocking him down. (rolled 26 vs AC)
The bard starts shrieking unintelligibly. It's really high-pitched and rather uncomfortable.
The other folks in the inn look decidedly pained, and one guy passes out.
The Gravedigger drags the bard outside.


EXT. Dorgin, outside the inn
The Gravedigger throws the bard into a hole.
The bard continues to shriek.


INT. Dorgin town inn
Inside the tavern everyone looks a lot happier now that the bard is further away. The passed out guy starts snoring.
George doesn't seem to have noticed any of this past his earmuffs.
The Gravedigger plods back inside and the innkeeper pours him a drink.
Rhu continues conversing to the empty table.
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): Would it be terribly counter-productive if I re-enacted that scene from Cheech And Chong's Up In Smoke where Chong accidentally gives Cheech acid?
Apheori (GM): Maybe, but it'd be hilarious.
Gaurav (Rhu): Criminey. Can you at least roll to pick the right potion?
Bear Soup Guy (Greibel): I'll roll a... something, to rummage through my pack looking for white pills that look a lot like other white pills.
GREIBEL
Hold on Rhu, I've got something that'll mellow your mind, man.
Greibel rummages through his pack and finds some white pills. (rolled 14 perception)
GREIBEL
Here ya go, man. Take these.
RHU
Eh? What? Huh?
Rhu takes the pills, sniffs suspiciously at them, then shrugs and swallows.
Nothing happens.
RHU
That was nice, Greibel, thanks. Vitamins?
GREIBEL
Yeah, Vitamin Q and some supplements. It might enhance your other senses a bit.
RHU
Oh, NICE. I could really use that!
Rhu grins and nods in entirely the wrong direction. He puts a small black stone on his head and starts balancing it absentmindedly.



Meanwhile Radek heads to George's corner. He slides up next to George and takes a seat, but George doesn't immediately notice him, just staring at his drink.
Then George suddenly notices Radek, almost jumps out of his chair, and pulls off an earmuff.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
How long have you been there?
RADEK
...A few minutes. Don't worry, I appreciate the silence. Any minute now I'm expecting one of the deadbeats to come pestering me about some new problem.
George glances over at the others. Rhu, Greibel and Amadi are chatting. The Gravedigger is gathering up some drinks.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
They seem occupied.
RADEK
Yes, that is how the problems get started. Sometimes they're not responsible. I still have to fix it all, though.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Is that how you wound up here?
RADEK
I think I would go insane trying to understand how I wound up here.



INNKEEPER
(indicating Amadi)
She with you?
The Gravedigger shrugs.
THE GRAVEDIGGER
Could be one or t'other.



RHU
(in the direction that Greibel had been speaking from earlier)
Where are Dave and Amadi? Are they still with us?
Amadi appears.
AMADI
No. No, we're not.
GREIBEL
Definitive answer from the source.
RHU
One of you is wrong.
AMADI
I'm never wrong.
RHU
Okay then. Is Dave still around?
AMADI
Depends. Around what?
RHU
Around... here? I dunno. I don't think Hazz' seriously expects me to able to protect you two without... you know (gestures at his face). But I hope she's okay with that crazy guard.
AMADI
Oh, she's fiiine, they're both fiiiine.
Rhu looks at Amadi suspiciously but doesn't say anything.
RHU
Are we in a pub? Do they have sandwiches?
AMADI
Are we in a pub? Why are we in a pub? I have sandwiches.
RHU
Radek and Gravy said something about some guy they liked the look off. Something about the Holes? ...I'm sure they can make me one here. If I just knew who to ask.
AMADI
Oh, yeah. You should probably fix the Holes.
RHU
(pointing towards the restrooms)
That's their job. I'm just supposed to keep an eye on Dave and you. And that skull that has someone's soul in it, I guess.
AMADI
Yeah, and Squirrel. ...I left her with Dave. They're fiiiine.
Rhu stares at Amadi for a second, suddenly realising he can see her. Then he waves at her.
RHU
Hi?
Amadi waves at Rhu, then turns to the nearest waitress.
AMADI
(sweetly)
Can we have a sandwich? I already have one but my friend doesn't and I'd like to compare; I got this bit of wiggly thing in mine and I'm just not sure they're supposed to be like that?



GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
So what're you trying to solve?
RADEK
Oh, the whole universe is coming apart at the seams. Holes connecting planes of existence that should never interact with each other opening up everywhere. I've closed one. I'm trying to improve the method.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Fuck.
George downs his drink.
RADEK
Well, don't worry too much. This place seems fine, other than the zombies. If a hole opens up I'm sure we'll head on over to try and fix it. No guarantees something idiotic won't happen and stick us between the fabric of reality, though...
Radek sighs.
RADEK
Again.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
The zombies may be coming out of a... hole.
RADEK
Oh?
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Where reality just gets weird around it. And the closer you get, the more likely... Well, they sent in a unit. They came out zombie.
RADEK
Yes, yes, that sounds like one. Maybe I can fix both of your problems at once, then, George.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
You have some way to make people less stupid?
(he looks at Radek skeptically)
If that were so, you'd look happier.
Radek looks at George for a moment, and laughs. He laughs for a long time.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Which problems did you mean, then?
RADEK
Just the ones threatening your life, I'm afraid.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Oh.
George sighs.
RADEK
I'll remember to find you if I ever find a cure for stupidity. You do the same, alright?
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Oh, I've found a cure. Just not a good one. And generally I wind up arresting those who administer it.



Rhu stares at Amadi some more, then turns around to see if he can see anything else. He sees a sort of glow that might be the outline of Greibel. It also might not be.
RHU
Greibel? Are you still here?
GREIBEL
Here as I'll ever be.
RHU
(pointing at Greibel)
Are you... there?
Rhu absentmindedly reaches up to take the stone off his head and puts it on the table.
Amadi picks up the stone, and a waitress hands her a rather tired-looking sandwich.
AMADI
Hmm... Well, there's no sort of wriggle bit, but... I'm still not too sure about this.
Greibel puts his hand on Rhu's shoulder.
GREIBEL
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
Greibel starts laughing.
AMADI
Here.
Amadi hands the sandwich to Rhu. To him, it appears merely as a darker smudge against her odd brightness.
Rhu pokes at the sandwich smudge.
RHU
Is this a... sandwich?
AMADI
Oh, for the sake of ice-cream!
Amadi digs in frustration through her pockets and hands Rhu a mask.
Rhu pokes at the gap between her fingers, running into the mask with his hand as a result.
RHU
What is this?
AMADI
It might help.
Rhu feels it, realises that it's a mask, and tries putting it on the wrong way around. He turns it around and puts it on properly. Suddenly he can sort of see, but everyone looks like muppets. And there's a sort of weird mould everywhere. Everything looks hairy.
Amadi nods and looks at the stone. It's one with a contagion symbol on it.
RHU
HUH.
Rhu takes the mask off, checks to see that he's still blind without it, then puts the mask back on.
RHU
Greibel, you have GOT to try this sometime.
AMADI
So can you eat now?
Rhu puts on and takes off the mask a couple of times, then leaves it on.
RHU
Thanks, Mrs. Teatime! I like what you've done with your hair. I can see! I CAN SEE! And also eat, I think.
AMADI
No problem.
This rock is camouflaged as toxic waste. Or something. I think. Or maybe it's the other way around. Do you want it?
RHU
I'm always happy to hold onto stones! I've got two already, I think. Are you going to eat that furry-looking sandwich? I'm famished.
AMADI
I got it for you! I already have one.
RHU
Oh, thanks a million! That's very nice of you.
Rhu guzzles down the sandwich.
GREIBEL
(to Amadi)
Mind if I pocket that away with the others?
Amadi shrugs and takes out her sandwich, eyeing the wiggly bit suspiciously.
Greibel takes the stone, examines it a bit, then stuffs it in the pack with the others.
RHU
Hang on, I need to try something.
Rhu tries to walk to the bar by using the mask. (rolled 11 reality) He winds up walking right into it and bouncing off. Apparently his depth perception with the mask is a bit off. And bouncy.
He catches himself (rolled 23 acrobatics) and tries again. This time he walks partway through the bar. (rolled 7 reality)
RHU
(standing in the bar)
Um.
Rhu stops, then quickly walks back out, a little embarrassed to be messing with the laws of physics. He checks to see if Radek is pissed off with him for doing this, but he seems to be pretty involved with his conversation.



RADEK
Well, I'd be lying if I said I never tried to build a doomsday device. It's hard to be grateful about the end of all things when it's actually happening, though.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Yeah, no kidding. Nevermind all the idiots that live here, I have to live here too.
Radek pats George on the back. Softly - he couldn't make much of an impact even if he tried.
RADEK
Can't help you with that, I'm afraid. I'd offer to take you with me, but... you would regret it. I can fix the hole, though, if you'll point me over that way.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Hah! Well, sure. I'll take you there tomorrow, how's that sound? File the paperwork, send out all the requisitions...
George mumbles incoherently.
RADEK
That would be great. I could use the time to work on this formula, anyways.
GUARD GEORGE RANDAL
Great. I'll be here.
Radek stands up and glances about the room, surprised to see it still in relatively undamaged condition.



Rhu tries to catch the barkeep's attention, and tries to buy a beer with the coins they'd found in the lab.
The barkeep accepts them, seems surprised, mentions something about Auberdeen, and gives Rhu a beer.
There's a loud screeching noise outside. It sounds like the bard Gravy removed earlier.
The Gravedigger gets up to go check it out.
Meanwhile Rhu tries to approach the bar again and pick up his beer. (rolled 2 reality) This time he walks entirely through the bar and his beer. This time the innkeeper notices, and backs away.
Rhu apologizes profusely and accidentally ends up on the wrong side of the bar.
RHU
Er, I'll just...
RADEK
Rhu, what...
Rhu is looking very embarrassed now.
RADEK
No, never mind. You can actually cause less damage this way. Carry on.
Ganelon (Radek): I have a strong suspicion that he'll prove Radek wrong.
Rhu tries to poke at the bar with one finger, then turns to grin sheepishly at the barkeep before trying to walk out through the bar again. (rolled 1 reality)
RHU
He-
Then he falls through the floor, waving his arms frantically, spilling beer everywhere.
INNKEEPER
Um...


INT. Horrible nightmare realm
Rhu finds himself in some sort of basement. It's kind of nightmarish. There are some tables and a vaguely cylindrical thing with some angles and a prism shape at the top. With some glowing bits. Also weird vials and tanks and stuff. Grotesque things poke out of walls.
He manages to land on his feet. They're very hairy. Hairy muppet feet. Then beer rains down on his head, so he tries to catch some of it, except then he realises he's no longer holding the glass. (rolled 25 acrobatics)
RHU
Um. Um. Okay.
Rhu ignores his feet for now, and stares about the basement. (rolled 31 perception) Everything is really hairy. And weird. And full of strange experiments. It's like a nightmare, and oddly organic. There don't seem to be any ways to get back upstairs, aside from perhaps a chute on the far wall, barely big enough for a man.
There are also no doors, or at least nothing recognisable as doors. Given how the walls look almost like membranes, it's a bit hard to tell. There's also a sort of mesh screen looking out on utter blackness on one side. And a bowl of noodles sitting in the middle of the floor.
Something snakes out of the floor and grabs a noodle. It looks like... more floor. (rolled 25 nature)
Rhu takes his mask on and off to see if that helps any, but without it he can't see a thing. Everything is just a horrible white.
RHU
(under his breath)
Well fuck.


INT. Dorgin town inn
INNKEEPER
Is he perhaps a bit... touched?
GREIBEL
(to innkeeper)
Touched...By An Angel?
AMADI
(to innkeeper)
Yeah. Tentacles. Hazz - I mean, Vitoi.
INNKEEPER
(pulling a doll out from behind the counter)
And where do angels usually touch people?
RADEK
In the brain, clearly.
INNKEEPER
(putting the doll away and being slightly more serious)
Do I need to expect any more of this? I'm not liable.
RADEK
...For as long as we're here, yes. Well, I say "we".
INNKEEPER
Oh dear.


INT. Horrible nightmare realm
Rhu tries to sneak over to the chute (rolled 18 stealth). As he walks, the patterns in the floor seem almost to move away, like ripples in a hairy carpet. Snakey ripples.
Hairy snakey ripples.
Other than that, nothing seems to notice.
Rhu tries to stealthily (rolled 23 stealth) climb up the chute (rolled 19 acrobatics). It's slippery and horribly textured, with ribs and squishiness in all the wrong places.
He gets partway up, falls partway down, and makes a muffled clatter.
Rhu sits quietly until he's sure there's no response to the clatter, then tries again. (rolled 14 acrobatics) This time he doesn't even get as far as before before sliding back out.
Rhu looks up to see if there's any light at the top of the chute.
RHU
(whispering)
Hello? Is someone up there?
Silence. Then, in a long low whisper:
SOMETHING HORRIBLE
Rhuuuu...
The voice is low and sweet, like a fungus that eats flies. Except these flies are horrible and huge, and the fungus is actually something else entirely.
Rhu pointedly does not respond. He realises the voice is being projected from above the chute, but it's not actually coming from there. He doesn't know where it's coming from. (rolled 34 perception (natural 20)) He feels a strong urge to remove the mask.
He resists, and sits quietly at the base of the chute, his eyes flicking first upwards and then quickly around the room, waiting to see what happens next.


INT. Dorgin town inn
There's some more screeching from outside.
Amadi takes Greibel's hand and attempts to walk him outside without giving any explanation for her actions.
Greibel tags along exasperatedly.
Radek ignores it and gets to pondering. Fist-inside-beard hardcore PONDERING.


EXT. Dorgin, outside the inn - night
Amadi goes to the bard. He's standing in a deep grave screeching like a harpy. In the screeches, there seems to be a tune, but it's vague.
The Gravedigger appears to have gone back inside.
GREIBEL
(singing, mostly in tune with the screeches)
My name is Lon Chaney
I was in some movies
You probably remember me for my hideous face...
Amadi juggles bananas.
Greibel suddenly turns into a gorilla wearing a pink tutu. This messes up the singing slightly.
GREIBEL
RAAAAAAAAR.
Amadi also sings the whole circus music bit that's supposed to go with this. It includes a lot of trumpets and stuff.
Greibel twirls hula hoops as a gorilla while singing.
The previously screeching bard shrinks back into the hole and goes horribly silent.
Amadi throws the bananas at the bard. He flinches away horribly.
Greibel goes back to normal, accompanied by a popping sound.


INT. Horrible nightmare realm
Quietly, stealthily, Rhu tries to climb up the chute again. (rolled 16 acrobatics) As he does, he feels a presense getting closer.
The attempt fails, and whatever it is hears him as he tumbles out. (rolled 9 stealth) He feels it. In his kidneys.
Rhu freezes, then pauses mid-freeze, looking confused.
He steps quietly away from the chute.
Everythng is hairy.
Rhu hides behind a hairy table.
The hairy table blinks at Rhu and looks vaguely surprised.
RHU
(to the table)
Shh.
He puts a finger to his lips.
The table opens a few more eyes and those blink at the finger as well.
Rhu crouches behind the table and waits, listening intently. (rolled 23 perception)
He hears whispers from the black beyond the mesh lattice, and from behind some walls/membranes. Some are saying his name. Others... other things. It sounds like they've found something. Lost other things. Having lunch. Very sinister.
Left-handed.
RHU
(whispers, to the table)
Do you hear that too?
The table rumbles and opens a few more eyes. It's somewhat covered in eyes now.
Rhu gives the table a knowing glance in whichever eye is closest to him and does the "shh" hand gesture again. Then he goes back to listening quietly.
The eyes all intently follow the movement of the gesture.
Rhu goes back to listening and waiting.
Some 10-15 minutes pass. A tank and a wall fixture also open several eyes and watch him. Hairy eyes.
Rhu gets out from behind the desk and walks around the room, looking closely for doors or any other way out of here. He finds nothing, and so tries to separate some wall membranes with his fingers to see if it responds to touch, and to see what's underneath them.
The membrane peels away under his nails he poke a finger through. There doesn't seem to be anything behind it, just empty space.
He makes the hole bigger and peels back a section of membrane. Behind it is another room very much like the one he's in. A wall eyes him. Literally.
He pulls the membrane back more and rips open a medium-sized hole which he might be able to fit through if he forced it. (rolled 15 strength)
More eyes in the wall watch curiously.
Something licks his foot.
Rhu ignores the footlicking and squeezes through the hole. (rolled 27 acrobatics)
The room grins at him with teeth. Grins opening up in rows of hairy teeth spiraling up into the hairy ceiling.
RHU
Um.
In a terror, Rhu squeezes back through the hole into the room he came from. (rolled 28 acrobatics) Everything feels kind of weird, and he winds up going too far and trips over a table. (rolled 5 reality)
The floor licks him.
Rhu calms down a bit and tries to stretch open a membrane on another wall. (rolled 3 strength (natural 1)) Nothing really happens, but it seems to have something behind it.
Whispers ask for lettuce.
RHU
(to the nearest eye)
What's behind here?
The eye blinks at him.
Rhu tries to open the membrane again. (rolled 20 strength) He clears it away and is suddenly faced with an enormous red toad eye, staring at him, through him, into him.
The eye stares at him.
RHU
Hi. Were you the one asking me for lettuce just now?
The eye continues to stare at him.


INT. Dorgin town inn
Radek ponders what been pondering for the last few days. How to close a hole. It is some fist-to-chin hardcore pondering. (rolled 18, 31 arcana)
Previously, he had deduced that a key was something about three pieces and a lock.
It occurs to him that the question, perhaps, is pieces of what? What does it take to close a hole, really? And for that matter, what does it take to open one? The question to one should be the answer to the other... Of course, if he could just make a lack of hole, something with no hole at all, well, that could be a way around a whole other problem entirely...
Ganelon (Radek): I'm not about to discount the possibility.
Ganelon (Radek): "Behold! I have created... stuff! It is the opposite of a hole in every conceivable way!"
Apheori (GM): "It looks like... normal stuff."
Ganelon (Radek): *Scoffs* "This 'normal stuff' is exactly what we need to eliminate the holes on a conceptual level. They will cease to be holes. They will cease to be anything, unless I apply an excess of stuff."
Apheori (GM): "And then they'll be stuff! Right?"
Ganelon (Radek): "No, don't be ridiculous. Then we'll end up with a gravitational singularity that will atomize this entire planet."
Apheori (GM): "I want it by tuesday."
Amadi and Greibel come back inside and start dancing.


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Session 32 (Overview)
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Phabricator is right over there, and gerrit is at the same direction...